#222: Skeery's Sticky Facial

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Start uf dot up, start Up, Brooklyn Boys, start up,
Brooklyn Boys, start up. They're making noise. Dot up, dot Up,
Episode two two, the Brooklyn Boys Podcast. I'm scary. That's brody. Hey,

(00:24):
I just realized something when you said the episode number.
What's that? We're recording episode twenty two on June two. Now.
The only thing that would have made this even better
is if it was twenty two months or this fell
in February, because then it would have been two two too.

(00:46):
But it's it's We're a six twenty two episode two
twenty two in the year twenty two. Yes, that's a
lot of twos. And I'm giving away twenty two Brooklyn
Boys t shirts from our right now. You want, No,
you are not, but I do. Should we talk about
the possible event giveaway thing? We might have? No, because

(01:07):
we jinx it every time, I know, but I suppose
while we're on vacation, so I think we should at
least tease it. I'll tell you what. I will ask
people if they're interested in in the thing, and they
should email us to become the podcast of empty promises. No, no, no,
this thing is a done deal, isn't it. No? Alright,
but we need to get the listeners to tell us

(01:28):
that that they want it so we can confirm it
and move forward with it. I tell you guys, by
the way, I loved she was my ex girlfriend. Are
we on Pandora? I don't think we are. Did you
buy your ex girlfriend Pandora Pandora bracelet? Yeah? That's okay,

(01:53):
that's the planet an Avatar? Right? Another fucking uh? So
I don't watch these s I I things. Where is
that from n Avatar? Avatar? The movie Avatar? Kay? So
I did a thing on walkers and talkers. You know
what I'm gonna do? Would you be okay if if
next um, next episode we play a clip of me

(02:14):
ranting on walkers and talkers about Avatar? I guess, I
mean if people, if there are enough people that are
fans of it. I always the point is it's not
about It's not a rant about knowing the movie. It's
a it's a rant about waiting ten years and nobody
gives a shit. I mean that's what that's about. Then
that then I think that that's acceptable. Of course. Yeah, okay,
so I get I'll get the clip as long as

(02:35):
it doesn't get too nerdy and Theeds as I wouldn't,
I wouldn't bring it up. It's the fact is, the
gist of my rant is that, uh, James Cameron has
kept people waiting for like ten years for this movie,
and I don't know that many people who are excited,
they're like, oh my god, I can't wait. I don't

(02:56):
know anyone that can name characters in the first movie.
You know. And by the way, if you are super nerdy,
don't have to tweet me. The more reason. By the way,
why it's it's important that it's not in the weeds.
So yeahs you'm saying my rant is not in the weeds.
I'll get that for you for the next episode. Okay,
So I got a lot, I got a lot going
on here, of course, of course you do. Yeah, what

(03:16):
are you? I'm sure. Well, we have vacation coming up.
This is we're gonna be off for the next couple
of weeks. You know that we always take a two
week hiatus every year. Every year at this time, you
know a lot of people like, where did the big
show go, Elvis Durant, where are they? What are they
up to? Well, you know, taking vacation again. Well, listen,
the fact that They've talked about that on Today's fifteen
minute Morning. We get six weeks a year, and we

(03:39):
always take two in a row. Don't say it out
loud like that. It's if it's just say we get
a lot, then nobody it's it's a lot. It's a lot.
It's a lot. But we but we we signed up
for that. I mean, that's I will tell you this,
getting up at four in the morning, you need the
vacation time. And that doesn't mean that you guys listening
who don't get that many weeks don't work hard. I'm

(04:01):
saying every day I come home and I wish I
had a vacation, Like I'm exhausted. I came home today,
I took a nap from twelve. I woke up at
like four thirty, like my day was shot because I
was that tired today. Anyway, But anyway, the point is
we're on vacation with two weeks, and then we're on
vacation the last week of well, we're not really on vacation. Well,
we have a lot of stuff. Well we'll get well,

(04:22):
we'll cross that bread when we get to it. And
you said you wanted to talk about where we're going
and then we're not talking about what we're going and
I'm just talking about no. I guess not right now.
I mean, I'm just saying no. I mean, I mean,
I don't know what you have planned for this coming up.
Oh you know where I'm going bed with DJ Pillow,
DJ Pillow All Inclusive, Fringe Unlimited. I got got the

(04:42):
I got the Scary Jones List pool, the heated pool
that's ready to go. I don't know why. I don't
know why you won't have me at your pool, man,
I mean, it's embarrassing at this point. It really had
something in my pool that was almost as bad as
having you in my pool this weekend. So around my pool,
on three sides of the deck area I have it.

(05:02):
It's fenced in off off a sides, but on the left,
the right, and the rear of the pool because the
pool is um horizontal to my house, so like it's
from left to right, and so behind my house I
have trees, and the left of my pool have trees,
and to the right of my pool have trees. So
and so over the pool, I have like I don't
know thirty five foot trees behind my house behind the

(05:26):
pool that go up and then they branched out over
the pool. What happened? Did something fall into your pool? Yes?
So even though I have guys climb the trees every
year to like take anyway branches away that looked like
they're dying, sometimes the wind is so strong a large
branch with leaves on it will fall into the pool.
If it happens in the winter, it'll fall and rip
my pool cover, which thankfully have insurance for. So I

(05:48):
went out to the pool this weekend and there was
a giant branch. It looked like a giant broccoli lane
in my pool. So I'm like, oh, I'll just pull
it out of the pool. It's no big deal. By
the way, time like these, I'm happy I don't have
a pool. Yeah, exactly, I should add balls off. I'm
upset that I don't have a pool. So I I

(06:09):
got the I pulled the that was two. It broke
into two giant branches. So I got the two branches
with the leaves on top, and I pulled them out
of the water. It's like pulling a parachute out of
the water because the leaves are dragging with the water, right,
So rather than pull them, I don't know about ten
ft to the gate entrance on the front of my gate,
and then around the right side of my pool where

(06:31):
I have a forest, and drop them in the forest.
I decided to save the dragging and lift them up
and throw them over the right side pool fence so
they would be closer to the to the forest that
I would walk around the defence myself and then dragged
them to ten feet into the forest. Well, I got
them up and I threw them over the fence, and
then my back went out out of commission. I felt

(06:54):
a twinge. I couldn't get out of bed Tuesday morning, twa. Well, so, yeah,
you're gonna take it easiest vacation. Well, I went right
in the hot tub, so that helped. I'm gonna spend
my time locally. You know, we'll see what I'm gonna want. Yeah,
well locally, I mean you are not I'm going to
you know, I'm gonna go out to uh. Your locally
is Northern Hemisphere. Shut up, Brodie, that's local. I'm gonna

(07:20):
I'm going to Hawaii. I'm gonna go to Montalk, I think,
And then spent some time also in uh down the
Jersey Shore. Talk. Okay, so it's Low Island. It's Long Island.
It's called Long Island because it takes you a long
time to get to Montalk, which is the end. It's
three to four hours, depending on traffic, could be more
to get from one point on Long Island to the

(07:42):
end up when Montalk is that's not local, it's pretty local. Local.
Local is I'm keeping, you know, my feet on the
ground the mud we're driving, you know. Let me ask
you a question, if you drove to Boston, would that
be staying local? Okay, you got me on that one, alright,
because Boston is not that much further than than Montalk.
You're answering your phone or what? No, that's my house phone.

(08:04):
You don't you my message? Hold on, I have an
obnoxious message on my home message. If you can hear it,
you have it. Wait a second, unless you're a telemarketer,
in which case you're about to hang out. By the way,
you have an external answering machine, Yeah, old school my

(08:25):
kids still has an external answering machine that spits the
message out loud. And I'll tell you who someone who
bought it twenty years ago and has no reason to
get rid of it. This way, I can monitor the
call have digital voicemail, No, it's digits and digital answering
the said in it, No, why it's digital? Why why
would I? Why would I pay for voicemail? Kinds of

(08:46):
wrong with this conversation. First of all, First of all,
someone would say, you have a landline, because a lot
of people landline. You pick I have a hold on
I have a landline as well. Yes, but but I
have digital voicemail. But even better than at I actually
monopolized all the all the voicemails. I filled up the
voicemail on purpose because I don't want people to leave

(09:09):
a message. I want so this way when the phone
rings and and I have the same thing to my
turn off that service, the same thing from my cell phone.
As soon as as soon as you go to leave
a message, it says the mailbox is full, and this
way you can't leave a message, so you're forced to text.
I finished, By the way, I finished. I finished um
listening to messages back in I think I stopped. I

(09:34):
saw I have voicemail here that know who calls me
Walgreens where my prescription is ready. I don't have to
listen to it. I don't have to dial into a voicemail.
I just hear it when they call like that. I
just heard. If anyone was on the phone leaving a message,
I want to make that ship with a text and say, hey,
your order is ready. No they call it, I don't want.
I don't want text. Man, I'm gonna be bothered. I
here when I come home. David Brody your syphilis medication.
Is anybody calling about a bill, they go the telemarketers.

(09:57):
They all go there. They don't bother them. They go there.
But sometimes if I'm sleeping or I'm napping, my kids
look like if they're out, they'll call the home machine
and scream like my dad, wake up? You know well,
or songs. I'll call the house and talk to the dogs,
and and furthermore, I'll leave the dogs and message like
hey guys, I'll be home soon, like who's that? Who's
your dog? And talk to them. The other thing is

(10:18):
you have your voice on your voicemail. That's that's like
strike four. These are all kinds. When I said all
kinds of OBNOXI well, how am I going to be
obnoxious and sarcastic? If I leave your mind? Mine is
like the person you're trying to reach is you know
it's not available. Want that. I like to tell people,
go stuff you're telling me? You want people, you want
people to have You want your voice on your phone

(10:39):
to confirm that it's actually you. They don't know it's
David Brody from one. They know someone might know your voice.
What if it's a wrong number and they know your voice?
So far in twenty four years of being at the
radio station, nobody's called her and went on that guy
sounds like the guy in the radio. Nobody landlines having
your voice on your your your smail. It's also it's

(11:01):
external external voicemail. How about the what I have a
fax machine, it's on the same phone line. Yeah, because
I fact facts business papers. Sometimes some companies need faxes.
You know, it's funny you say that, because, um, I'm
trying to renew my lease with my car and they
want a fact like that is anymore. There's a lot
of a lot of my stocks and and a lot

(11:23):
of times when you want to make a change with
your investments, they require facts. Why And I know you
can digitally fact from your computer. I understand that. Yeah,
right right, I can do that, right if I could
take my scanner on WiFi and I can fax it
over right if I want to. Yeah, I could do that.
I've never tried it. I've never had to fact into
a phone number. Another antiquated thing. Who does that? Well? People?

(11:46):
There are companies that have asked me to fact. So
I have an alter like in facts to an You
can't like a scan a PDF and locks PDF into
an email. You could. I'm gonna leave. Some companies want
to facts when I when I had to do some
stuff Company City, New York City required I fax them
so behind the time. No, the problem is they don't
have anybody looking at emails, so they want someone to

(12:06):
go over to the fax machine. So so the facts
fucking full and roll all over the floor, and they
have taxes on the flotory. Scary. They have a tray
in a bin that's probably like a real fax machine
that has like a cat thing that catches all the people.
God forbid, the thing runs out of sucking toner or
inc or paper and then the fax doesn't get through. Okay,
I'm just saying, I just doesn't seem very logical. In

(12:29):
the year we just seniously, almost everything I do is digital.
But I'm telling you this faulting you, for instance, don't
want the people that that I'm trying to renew my
lease of my car. Well, why the hell, why wouldn't
there be a physical human being? Doctors some doctors officers
don't have an email account for for hip and violations

(12:49):
and rules. They won't they won't send in and out
because they can be folded. So to protect it from
being folded. Right, and this way you faxy after hours
and the cleaning person is sweeping up and then taking
a look that you you need lamydia personsion. The person
comes in at three in the morning. Is that you thought?
My point? My point is whatever when you when you

(13:09):
fact something to an open machine, it's spinning it out.
You don't know who's looking at it, and there it
could be someone that's not authorized to view that information.
So it's even more so, even more so, why you
should be facting ship. No, I can't sleep tonight. I'm
gonna make me a paranoid it please. The point was
that they answered, machine went off. That's really where this
came from. God, how the hell do we burn twelve

(13:34):
minutes already? I don't know? But um, you well, you
were witnessed a part of my day yesterday, I ate
like such a pig. Twice yesterday we went I want
you to talk about the place we went to. First,
we went to a place for like a work event, like, oh,
let's have a summer gathering that we invited what all
fifty people to work for our company? How many showed up?

(13:56):
We have twenty. This sucks because it was first of all,
as well, tell everybody and the little tie in here
about the place and then we'll tell Okay, so, so
the name of the place is called say Less. It's
s e I less get it, say less, but it's
felled l s S. I don't think it's yes, it is, yes,

(14:16):
it is. Yeah, it's s ei less And basically the
guy who owns it. Well, first of all, let's talk
about let's talk about so the food is is an
Asian concept. The food is fantastic. They do this this
chicken sattee that they're known for. It's like a chicken
on a on a stick and it covered in this

(14:37):
peanut sauce. But it's a thick peanut sauce and it
is probably one of the top five things I've put
in my mouth. Uh, it was amazing and they didn't.
They had like advertisers size because normally no, maybe it's
like seven eight inches long. These were three inches maybe
like bite size. I was popping them like right in
off the stick, just boom boom, one bite. And the
great stuff about it is it's reminiscent of the old

(14:59):
school Brooklyn uh Chinese type food we used to get.
It's but it's Brody approved, right because it's all Jan
Tom's and rock the rock shrimp. I don't know if
it was Asian rock shrimp rock shrimp so good. But
this is not This is not foo food. This is
like this is like body was like, oh my god,
I love better than that. They made it look foo food,

(15:21):
but it wasn't. It was just solid Yeah. And and
and this place is known for being a scene at night,
so the later it gets at night eight Tuesday, Wednesdays
and Thursdays apparently especially Yeah, well Dre, I'm sorry. Uh.
Kanye West was there for the grand opening back in January.
It does opening the grand closing that was jay Z,

(15:42):
I know, but it reminded me they do work together,
Yes they do, and so well did they haven't worked
in a while, but anyway, so so a lot of
a lot of hip hop artists, a lot of athletes,
a lot of celebrities. They're always showing face in there,
and it is it's so basically that hip hop culture
has come to say less. So you never know which

(16:06):
recording artist is gonna show up there. You don't know
which I mean, apparently the men's soccer team of something
was there the other night. James Harden uh when he
was on the Knicks, that short stint he he was there,
he took and a half. He was smoking hookah. Well,
I mean he didn't do much in the end, right
he was did he like a year whatever? Philly Now? Yes,

(16:27):
But with the people like that show up and it's
and it's a scene. And if you're in New York
City in Midtown, it's perfectly easy to get too. It's
in the middle of Midtown. Not a sponsor, not a
Sponsorty Street and Seventh Avenue, the corner whatever, seventh and six,
whatever it is, you gotta go. It's it's definitely a
place you may find some celebs or Broadway. Uh. And

(16:49):
and then basically the food is fantastic and they have
a beautiful dining room in an awesome bar area. And
like a pig. But I was then at seven o'clock
three hours later going out to eat with my family.
They were meeting me, so I'll get to that in
a minute. But after I left, I know, a half
hour later, a scary texted me and says, French Montana
just walked in. French Montana, the artist, our favorite, one

(17:10):
of our favorite artists. Uh yeah, really good guy, he says.
I missed him and so much. I told my kids, like,
can we go back and we want to meet friends? Like, no,
we're not going back uptown so you could meet French
Montana if he's even there. They're like, oh, he sucked
when he was coming in for a dinner reservation. You
know what I did witness though he got out of
because I was outside. He got out of his suv. Yeah,

(17:31):
and he had an umbrella handler because it was raining.
Oh like like right, Because at first I'm like, okay,
big suv, uh little you know, showing up pulling up,
They moved the cones for the suv and like someone
must be getting out here some All of a sudden,
the door opens and then someone runs around the side
the passenger side of his best friend's ride with an

(17:54):
umbrella up and the person never touches the umbrella, gets out,
escorts to the door, doesn't even touch the umbrella, just
just literally walks, and the person who trails the trails
him with the umbrella. I'm like, must be a famous
rap star. Next thing, you know, I got a text
from upstairs. A man is like, you know, French Montana
just walked in him Like that's who that was. Now
fast forward to today. Oh so today, I'm leaving work

(18:17):
right after the show. I'm about ten thirty right, I
get I'm getting on the elevator. There's eight elevators where
we work. I get on the elevator and Ali, who
does digital for US web stuff for US UH, gets
off the elevator. I say, Alie, she gets off the elevator,
and then I get in and as the doors are
closing out here and say, hey, French Montana, So I
go what and the doors close? So I go down.

(18:39):
I go down to the lobby and I immediately pushed
back up to go back up to our floor because
I don't know if French was waiting for the elevator,
if he was walking down the hall, I don't know.
I love the fact that we saw him at say
I saw him saying less and then here we are,
like twelve hours and he's he's just at the radio station.
So the elevating doors open. I take a step off
the elevator to see if like he's around, and he's

(19:00):
standing there with his four guys with his peeps. Yea,
I guess his umbrella guy, his wallet guy, his food
and your mustache guy, all the guys. So I back,
I go back in the wrong floor, like I didn't
mean to come back up. So he gets in the
other go hey, French, awre you doing? Hey man, what's going?
So I said, uh, you know what I just missed

(19:21):
you yesterday? It say less? Oh man, Yeah, it's a
great place. So I said, listen, I'm legit. I'm not
a crazy fan or anything. I just I worked for
Elvis on Uh can I get a picture? Yeah? Yeah yeah.
So I give my my phone to one of his dudes.
I will call him the camera guy because he took
the picture. And I get the picture with him and
I say, hey, thanks a lot. He goes, hey, man, uh,

(19:42):
we'll let you know. My album drops on Friday. Yes,
So I said, oh great, that that's congratulations. Good luck
with that. Yeah, so when you post that picture, you
know a little'll give me a little promo. I was like, yeah,
he's trying to get promo and what are the ways
can you help me with some promo? Well, I said, well,
what's the first single off the album? And he was

(20:03):
like so the guy like one of the the other guy
he looks the other guy and the other guy was
like I couldn't understand the answer. No. But one of
the other guys was like something like that, and he
was like, oh, yeah, we'll go on Friday. On Friday
when he goes, yeah, my first singles, I don't know
what he said. So I was like, yeah, I said,
he goes, yo talk tailors man, get that on. So
I said, oh, I said, oh yeah, he goes yeah,

(20:24):
let's get get some promo. I was absolutely French, you
got it. Yeah, all right, let's go. One of the
other guys was like, get some promo. I was like, absolutely,
get promo. And they were all like six ft two
at least it sounds like this this short guy. I'm
not sure. Now, okay, you guys want promo. Okay, now
for the repeal. Uh. The guy who owns say less

(20:47):
happens to be the guy who started the steak dinner
dinner controversy to begin with Dennis. Dennis, guy at Delmonico's
who bought us dinner the night that I was repaying Brody.
I took Brody out. We made a reservation to go
to Delmonico because tonight is your night six years ago,

(21:09):
years ago, four years ago, Tonight, tonight, I'm going to
repay you the dinner that I owed you from like
three or four years ago. Right. We sat down and
then Dennis introduced himself. Big fan ended up picking up
the tab, and then the controversy started because I claimed
I still paid a hundred dollar tip out of my pocket.
Brody said I didn't feel the pain on my wallet

(21:30):
enough and I still owed him the steak dinner. You
blow your nose and hundred dollar bills. We've had this conversation.
All right, we're not gonna go there, but we have
to talk about his stake dinner later. Yeah, it's crazy
that he's now that guy because he obviously has a
golden touch because this place is fantastic. So after that meal,
after I gorged myself on appetizers, I headed downtown. Uh

(21:50):
do you I don't know if you guys remember we
talked about We went to the New York City Wine
and Food Festival in October, right was it last year?
Was October? Right? And we met a named Joe at
a place called Author and Sons. Joe is the owner, creator,
head chef, and he was so each each booth at
the Food and Wine Festival had like said whatever their

(22:13):
specialties were, Like Audicho Pizza was there giving out pizza.
There was Italian restaurants given out uh noki or different things.
So Author and Sons was given out I don't know,
like four inch meat ball heroes would shaved. I don't
even remember the cheese. He told me it was because
it wasn't local Telly Romano, which I thought it was
the most fantastic meeople here I've ever had no hands down.

(22:33):
The meat sauce is like the meats doing this to
me when all I had for dinner was celery. I'm so,
I'm sorry. Well I didn't eat dinner tonight either. I
did get left over. So we made we made friends
with Joe. Joe's from the Bronx. His wife is from
benson Hurst, where we're from, and he's like already like
he's a friend. He talks like to us, he acts
like us. He's like he could be on this podcast.

(22:54):
Couldn't be nice a guy. So we're waiting like six
eight months now because of COVID and different things. He
finally we opened up a couple of weeks ago, and
on Tuesday nights they do a friends and family slash
influence or dinner. So, okay, I hit him. I hit
him up. I said, I'm glad you guys are open.
So he said, oh, the because I was. He was
putting videos on TikTok and Instagram and he said, that's

(23:16):
Tuesday Nights is only for influencers. Why don't you and
Scary come? So I told Scary and he's gonna pick
a night. I went last night after the we stuffed
to face it say less, I met my, my, my
wife and kids at author and sons in the village. Okay, Scary,
how was it? First of all, he comes, First of all,
he's like he's like he's like p T. Barn him

(23:37):
in there. He just welcomes everyone and hugs everybody, and
the waitresses. Everybody's like Brooklyn ish like fun and hey, yeah,
let me tell you his works. He greets my wife
and kids. And by the way, there are other influences there.
And then Charlie walk who's a huge radio executive. He

(23:59):
showed what a what an up and coming guy. I
want to get his name right um, because he's got
two million people following him on TikTok. Let me tell
you his name real quick. Twenty five minutes into the podcast,
David Brodie, I'm just being timekeeper here. We got we
got a lot, we got a lot to cover. Cokay,
so we don't order. He goes, everything's on the house tonight.
So wave after wave of food comes out. Scary Meet

(24:22):
poll Palm Heroes, Spicy Rigga, Tony. You know you're getting
the slicest city here, like sitting here like salivating because
you're describing this. This is fucking nuts. That's one that's
after meal. But I want to tell you what I learned.
What did you learn? So Joe says to me, you
gotta meet these girls. They listen to the podcast. We

(24:44):
have some slices in the house. So he introduces me
to these two girls, Sean Tal and Reese And why
were they there? Why because they have food influencers. They
go to restaurants and they take unbelievable pictures and they
put them up on their page and they get restaurant
to have them come there, and they eat every night.
I said, how many nights a week you do? The
seven nights a week they go to the best restaurants.

(25:07):
So I'm gonna tell you what their their instagrams are.
And so I want to tell you. One girl she
cuts the food. That's Reese Shantal with one hand holds
her camera. With the other hand, she holds what looks
like a camera like a phone, but it's a light.
It's just like like Holigen lights. So she lights the food.
The other girl cuts it. The other girl stretches the

(25:29):
most cerella cheese sticks out like it's a team. So
craving the city. That's Reese craving so much for listening
to the podcast Ladies Hungry Dot four Dot more with
three es, Hungry for More with threes Hungry Dot four
dot more. You gotta see the visuals. I gotta see

(25:49):
I gotta see this. But this is my point. That's
the life they have. They for free every night doing
amazing reviews and critiques and visual tolls and at another
table have you seen this. I have never seen this.
There are ring lights that attached to the back of
your phone. Yes, I've seen the people will filming there.

(26:10):
I never seen this. I gotta order mine after the
podcast tonight on Amazon. So people were ringing and I'm
like a dope with my phone trying to get enough
lighting and angles they have they have accessories for that,
David Brody. Yes, So if you go to an influencer event,
you gotta bring lighting. Oh well, you gotta come, correct,
you gotta because honestly that you're you're in the room

(26:31):
with people that do this for a living, and they
know how to like jazz up their phone and make
it like fucking cool and make and take the best
possible pictures with the awesome. Man, don't get me wrong.
The chicken palm look great on my camera. That's great.
Can we have some? Can we gives? No? But I awesome.

(26:51):
Eat my fucking fist because I haven't seen it. Thank you. Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Sunday,
Sunday not a sponsor Man podcast. I I don't know
what to say anymore. I'm sorry. It's it's it's a lot,
it's a lot. It's a lot, right, so, uh, where

(27:13):
are we going? Here? Have we have? We have? We
have a you you gave the listeners an assignment the
slicest I did, I did if you We should probably
get to that in a little while. Let's hold off
on that. We what was the talk back? It was?
He told us to talk back and press the microphone
if you listen to the I Heart radio app and
uh leave, leave the message with your name right and

(27:34):
make sure it's your name first and where you're from,
and then your message right. We asked people to do that. Okay, Uh,
we can talk about bad parenting or you want. So
you had something you wanted to say, just something about
self care? Yes, oh yes, yes, that sounds like masturbation.
By the way, we well, actually masturbation is part of

(27:55):
self care. Did you know that I tell myself that
every other day? No? It actually, he is a legitimate
part of self care. It's part of taking care of
yourself and and and being able to release and and
be calm and and get anxieties and the toxins out.
Part of this part of self care. But the part
that I want to address was the fact that producer

(28:17):
Sam on our Big Show, she's very big into self care.
And then they have this thing called self care Sunday
where the whole day is about you and whatever. But
she's like, you know, you should really get into an
eye routine. Scary, and I'm like, okay, what does that mean?
And apparently if you you look like you have a
owl eyes or dark under eyelids or bags under your eyes,

(28:39):
you you can actually you can actually do There's there's
this thing where they give you what looks like a
razor with a little rolling pin attached to it that's
gonna hurt. It's a tiny it's a razor withou with
a role. It's a handle with a role, a little
mini steel roller. You keep it in your freezer and
apparently you're supposed to put this cream on. So you

(29:04):
get this cream. This is part of self care. This
is part of self care. I'm aware of what happens
with self care, okay, but the there's a special kind
of cream, right, yeah, you take it in perfectly freezer, okay,
and then you and then when you're ready with the

(29:25):
rolling pin, you're supposed to roll your penis No, you're
supposed to take it from this is certain motion that
you have with the handle and the roller from your
lips outward towards your cheeks and then up over your
round your eyes and stuff like that. You're supposed to
you're supposed to actually get all the toxins out of
your face, and you your face all of a sudden

(29:47):
clears up and it looks cleaner and you apparently gets
out wrinkles and stuff. It helps with that. I don't know.
I you got a YouTube the videos, Google them, you'll
see them. There's a lot of videos about self care.
And you got the jingle which jingle, the Scamboni jingle,
the scam BONI. You're not gonna call this out for

(30:09):
being a scamboni? Are you a scambo? Come on, brody
toxins as soon as I release the tom No, it's not.
I disagree with this. How is this a scamboni? Every
time I hear released the toxins or you see like infomercials,

(30:30):
they're always getting rid of the toxins. You know what,
Always people get rid of toxins, they still die. But
there are things. There are things. There are fluids and
stuff that builds up into your face and your and
your passages around your cheeks, and apparently this is part
of the self care routine is the last time you
saw someone on the new celebrity someone famous, cause of death,

(30:52):
facial toxins. That's not a cause of death. And then
like and then their girlfriends like I call me headings.
They got ready dogs. And it's to make you look
more vibrant, radiant, alive. So my my, my girlfriend got
me these face masks for Christmas. Facial she gave me

(31:12):
these face masks and these under eyelid masks. And that's
like saying you look old. That's what that is. So
you keep these in the refrigerator. Check this out, and
you look and you remember, you know jefdges fell leftover,
you know, Friday thirteenth, the Jason mask, the hockey man,
hockey mask. Okay, so you know that's a William Shatner mask,
right right, yes, I do you know there's a story
about that, right that's yes, that's so apparently you're you

(31:37):
take the stuff out of the refrigerator, you open up um,
you open up the package, and you slide the face mask.
It's covered in goo, by the way, it's it's a
gooey face mask. The jokes are righting themselves. And then
you put this mask, and it's got to cut out
for the eyes and your nose and your mask your
right and you go and you light it on and

(32:01):
to make that noise, it's gotta it's got a gel.
It's got a gel feel to it. And you sit
there for fifteen minutes, like laying on your back with
this with this Jason mask on that that's full of goop,
and flip your legs over your head. Well, here's what happened.
I did this for my girlfriend on a Sunday, and
because she's like, you know, I bought that feedback in

(32:21):
Christmas and now here it is May. This is a
few weeks ago, and uh, you know you didn't use it,
so I'm I'm gonna use it today. So I I
used it. I put it, I put the goop on that. Okay,
I pulled the mask off. After fifteen minutes. I do
feel like my face is refreshed. I feel little tingling
in my face, but that's because it's probably gonna all

(32:41):
the goop that's in it. Whatever the chemicals are finally
drying my face off. And she looks at me, she goes,
oh my god, you actually do look radiant. It looks
like it made a difference. Now, okay, what does you
want from you know? Is that mind over matter or not? No,
that's she spent a lot of money. She wants you
to think you look good like what she buys an

(33:01):
ugly dress but spent two hundred bucks on it. You go, oh,
it looks great on you. She said it looked great anyway.
Then I have the under eyelid ones and I use
those to try and reduce the baggage under the eyes.
So there you go. So so this is part of himself.
This is just one element of self care. I'm I
don't know if I should be adopting this. You're calling
it a scamboni. I don't know what the slices do.

(33:24):
If anyone is into self care, oh, drop us a line,
let us know about it. I'm kind of curious to hear.
Is this a real Is this a thing? Or is
it a scamboni? It's a scamboni. But that's an opinion. No,
no, no no, no, you're not a doctor. Doctors, Yeah, doctors
don't like listen. Your heart rates great, your blood pressure

(33:46):
is good, your cholesterol levels elevated. I'd like you to
work on your facial toxins, your levels are high. Everyone's
everyone's getting rid of the top. I gotta cleanse. I
gotta cleanse my toxins. Cleansing, cleansing your bank account, that's
what your cleansing. I got boys, good looks. I don't
need to worry about that, all right, all right, I'm done.

(34:09):
That's it? Are you well? No? I got more ship,
but go ahead, No, I just it's something amazing. Question,
have you have you giving yourself a facial when your
girlfriend's not around? Serious question? Not not not a sexual
thing like No, I have not found the time in
my day to lay there with the mask on, although
I probably should. Hey, listen, if it really does, like
make you look like a little younger and give you

(34:32):
bring some life back to your face, I mean we
could all benefit from that. We are in the visual
entertainment industry, there, David Brodie, you know on camera quite
a bit. All right, well, let me ask you this,
speaking of making myself look better, I'll ask you a
serious question. I had a listener who, by the way,
follows like five people on the show, but not me.

(34:53):
She posted to her her instant instant story a picture
of a guy, random guy, and then tagged me and said, oh,
I met at David Brodie's doppleganger. Now, doppelganger doesn't mean
sort of looks like you know, doppelganger is meant to
mean exactly alike. That this guy was David Bright, you

(35:17):
would have gotten them confused. So I see it him,
I see him my uh my feed. You know, it
comes up that says this person mentioned you. I'm not
going to mention her name. I'm sure she's a nice
person deep down. But the picture of the guy looks
like if I had been hit by a bus. So

(35:39):
there are a couple of features that are similar. But
he's ugly. He's four times my size, like he's a
big doofy looking Trust me, I'm not so far. I'm
not discounting any of this shut out dick. So so
I saw I wrote back and I said, hey, thank

(35:59):
you so much for thinking to me, because you know
what to be thinking of someone when you're out and about,
especially someone like me who's not a main player on
the show. I was like, you know what, I said,
thank you so much. I really appreciate you thinking to me.
I don't think I look anything like the guy, but
thank you. Now, before I tell you where it goes scary.
People have sent you pictures of people who go to, oh,
that guy looks like you, and I would say at

(36:23):
least six percent at the time, they do look like you. Yeah.
A couple of times, there's been a couple of dead ringers.
I'm like, all right, all right, I can see where
that's coming from, and the people that look like you from,
because I've seen most of the pictures. They're not. They're
not hideous, decent looking guys. Okay, La La Kent's boyfriend

(36:46):
there fiance Richard or someone Emmett, Right, but that guy
that he does look like me, but he's also my size. Ladies,
ladies listening to the podcast, Ladies, if somebody sees you,
they meet you for the first time, they go, randall Em,
that's the guy's named Randall Emmett. Okay, hey, you look
like Julia Roberts. You curly hair, you smile, you go, oh,

(37:08):
that's really nice. It's really nice. Right. Then they go,
you know, you look like the fat girl from that
sitcom with the big gass and the skin condition. You
want to go, oh, I looked like a celebrity. Oh, okay, great.
You want you want someone to say I know someone
that looks like you. Take out a photograph and it's
somebody attractive you. Oh, you look like this ugly person. Look.

(37:33):
No one's gonna say to me. Hey, you know I
bumped into George Clooney. He looks just like you. I
met Brad Pitt. I gotta say up close, you guys
have a lot of similar I know I'm not in
that category, but at least give me someone who's a six.
Don't send me a picture for three. Right, So I said,

(37:54):
I really appreciate it, thank you. I don't think I
look like him, So why would you expect a normal
person to do? When I said that, I thanked her
and I said, I think I look like that, but
thank you so much. Well, well, what would you expect
her to do? What would you do if you were that,
if you were a listener, and I said, I don't
really think I look like that guy, but thank you.
I do appreciate you thinking of me as the listener,

(38:16):
I would I would read the room and I would say, Okay,
he's offended. And I probably I shouldn't have said that,
so I would have been like, you know, um, I'm
sorry I said that. Either you apologize or be like,
you know, on second thought, yeah, I saw more pictures
of your brody and you really don't look like him.

(38:36):
Kind of testing yourself from your own comments, or maybe
you go, you know what, now that I see pictures
of you, you're definitely better looking at this guy. Absolutely
I was talking about but I love you. I mean
when I said right, I would tell you that I
would say that is not However, how she handled it,
she doubled down. She then went looking online for pictures
of me, found a picture of me at Selena Gomez

(38:58):
from like six years ago where I look pretty good,
and she goes, say so, I said, so, I wrote back,
and I said, I'm not sure why you're trying to
push this agenda or prove to me I look like
that guy. I am aware of what I look like.
I don't need you to send me a picture that
I took years ago it Selina Gomez to show me

(39:20):
what I look like. I know what I look like,
and that guy is a very ugly version of someone
who could be my ninth cousin. I said, I don't
understand why you don't see that you're comparing me to
a guy who's ugly so I, So I found a
picture online. I googled ugly brunette woman, and I found
a picture of a woman who looks like her. Ugly

(39:42):
ninth cousin got hit by a bus. And I said,
how would you like it if I said, oh, this
woman is your doppelganger. She had no teeth, right, I
said this, and she had like similar hair. I go,
I don't think she looks like you, but imagine how
you feel if I said, this be hideous woman looked

(40:02):
like you. And then I found pictures of you from
your Instagram and pulled them up and sent them to
you and said, look, look, it looks just like you.
She said, you know what, have a nice life. She
told me, as if as if I'm the one being
the dick. I'm trying to I'm trying to nicely explain

(40:22):
to her why it's hurtful to me. Right, you gotta
have you know skin. My first reaction could have been, hey, man,
that's rude. No, I said, thank you so much for
thinking of me. I really appreciate that you're thinking about

(40:43):
me when you're out and about I don't think that
guy looks like me, but thank you. But you said
something for her to go back in and get get
butt hurt herself. Oh I don't know. I don't care
if she got butt hurt. I was trying to make
her feel to understand my pain. I made it gliso
like he say you lost a listener. No, she didn't

(41:03):
say lost listeners. She still follows everybody. She follows you.
She follows everyone on the show. What's your name? I'm
not telling your name. Here's what I will tell you.
What we can do is we can have a contest.
We could put her picture up and say hey, slices. Yeah,
I'm not gonna do that. But I didn't get her messages.
I looked at all her messages to the Morning show,
and all she does is complain about how much she

(41:24):
hates Nate. So she's a negative person. She complains that.
So I'm gonna I'm gonna give that. I'm gonna show
I just listen. But listen, how do we know what
we are seeing out of our own heads? We don't
know what vision because this has been arguing. I'll tell you,
how do I know that green? Well, hold on a second,
So if I see the color green, how do I

(41:46):
know that you're seeing the exact thing? That I'm seeing
that that's a shade. No, but you look at shapes.
If I look at a square, you look at a square,
the boats square, if I if I look, if you
see you really want to bring this down. We can
even now I'll tell you why you can't, because a
shade of color can be affected by lighting the way

(42:07):
your eyes are. Absolutely, but a picture now, I'm not
talking about like one those pictures we stare out till
you see the sta still being very analytical about it.
I'm just trying to just bring it all back abstract.
Just think for a second. Hold on that the way
that I see a human face and body is different
the way you see it, and and that same right.

(42:28):
But if I but if I look at two fig faces,
I would see the two of them the same way
that you. In other words, I would see a nine
and the seven, and you would say maybe an eight
and a six. But there's still be in the same
relationship I see. In other words, for how to look
at one picture and go, this is your doppelganger, and
then she seems a future of me with Selena Gomez,

(42:48):
the shape of the head is different. She must see
two faces, she must see two chins. So therefore the
other guy did I don't have I didn't have two
chins in the picture. But maybe that's her interpretation of it. Again,
what I see out of my head her eyes? Fuck
her eyes, hashtag fun her eyes. Okay, not her. She's

(43:08):
a nice person. Fuck her in the retina. Fuck her up, bro,
Come on, man, be nice. These are our listeners. You
know what it was like if you covered one eye
and looked at the picture and better like this, better
like this. The other picture is not better like this. Yeah,
it's a horrific picture. Now, if that guy is a
is a slice and he knows he was photographed, I apologize, sir.

(43:30):
I'm sure to your wife you're a good looking man.
But we don't look alike. We don't. This guy like
looks like a big burly like uh like a Norwegian
big like. I beg, I beg for you to look
around with a big big hag. I tell you what,
tell you what I got an idea, not picture. I

(43:50):
was gonna say, post a picture. Let the slices decide
it's this woman is crazy or if she's onto something,
because there'll be one person that goes through it looks
just like I'm not gonna do it with Scary Um. Oh,

(44:11):
we have a free ship for us coming right up here?
Should we do that? Really? Yes, we think we have
the same one. Oh, then you'll read the name, because
I don't have I have the cookie name that's the one.
But okay, so we give the stuff for us off
a bit. I know you can always send free ship

(44:31):
for us to let's see, send it to Z one
radio camera of Scary Jones because I'm always there to
receive the mail. Uh, And that would be two sixth Avenue,
New York, New York, one zero zero one three. We
got a huge shipment each of a beautiful box of
homemade cookies. If I may read the message, I got

(44:55):
Scary Jones, and I'm sure you've got one as well. Yeah,
you'll read Okay. I want to start off by saying
I've been a listener of your podcast since the off
air show days with the Bald Freak, Granni and the
Jersey Kid, and sometimes I still go back and listen
to that while waiting for new podcasts of the Brooklyn
Boys to come out. By the way, by the way,
great idea, because we do get credit for that. So yes,

(45:17):
in your spare time. Why don't you listen to old
school off air show episodes. It's on the same channel
and we get credit. Um, thank you for everything that
you guys do, since I'm not paying you, if you
just happen to mention my cookies and give me a
shout out, Brodie can't play the jingle on you. I
sent you a sample of eight cookies in our catering
boxes and hope you and your family enjoy them. Some

(45:39):
people eat them cold. I always suggest heating them up
there nice and gooey. Yeah baby, at thirty seconds in
the microwave. So shout out to Diesel Cookies USA. We
want you to support them at Diesel Cookies USA. That's
d I E S E. L Cookies USA and Diesel
Cookies dot Com that's their way site. And that comes

(46:01):
from Andrew benoy or Ben. Maybe it's like the balls
like balls buck balls Ben or boy? Isn't that also
a pastry of some sort? And uh be Andrew your
name should have been Ben? You uh some Diesel cookies?
Uh ps by the man of Steak Dinner. Okay, thank

(46:24):
you there. The cookies were delicious. In fact, I shared
them with straight Ate and I had the gooey Oreo
Cookies and cream one and oh my god, it was
it was so good and soft and it was more
than just a cookie. It was like it was like
a cakey. If a cake met a cookie, if a
cake and a cookie got together and banged, that's what
this was. Well, you have to heat him up because

(46:44):
that that's the way they prefer. They recommend you eat them.
So here's what I'll tell you. I have not had
all of them, because I think he sent eight a
sight per box. The Blueberry Turnover, Fantastic cup cake boxes,
had some cook and cookies. Loved it. And I'm not
gonna go through the whole list, but I will say
the pecan French toast oatmeal, Yeah yeah. I have not

(47:08):
had the Lemon blueberry crinkle yet or the red velvet peanut.
But anyway, they're giant, just mass and they're not like
just here's a cookie. There are creations of like combined
recipes like this, like oh this and that. It's just
fantastic anyway, So thank you for the free ship for us.
You have another free ship for us. I know I
was getting to diesel cookies. Okay, Uh, did you see

(47:30):
in the New York Post about the double decker airplane
seats prototype. Oh you gotta google this right now with me,
David Brodie, google this guy. This kid's name. I don't
know what this kid's smoking. His name is Alejandro Nunez Vicente.
That's v I C E N t E. Twenty one
years old. He got fed up with airplane seating and Brodie,

(47:54):
when you pull us up an say the first there's
a new possibility that awaits in airplanes, a double decker
style airplane seat for coach. So picture this. You're sitting
in your seats and just a just above you, above
and a little forward of you, is another row of

(48:15):
seats of people, another one, another one. Now here's the
problem with this. Okay, First of all, this can be
able to climb down the ladder, and you have to
go up and down the ladder, right, So it's I
don't know if this is more a more efficient way
of giving people, uh leg room, because your legs now
get to slide under the seats from the person above

(48:36):
and in front of youree angle. Here's the fucking problem.
The person on the top, their ass is in your
fucking face, and you know people see the ass the
people as a metal structure matter. Somebody farts and that
ship is going right in your face. Look at the

(48:58):
way the construction is on this thing. Farts don't go
through metal metal platforms, Yes they dude. The smell goes,
the stink goes everywhere. No, the stint goes to the
person next to year. So if you're on if you're
laying down on a forty five degree angle, if you're
like sitting on your and let's say picture of regular
airplane row of seats and you're you're, you're reclined. Pictures
someone just above you and in front of you, suspended

(49:20):
in mid air with a row of seats going across
there too. If they fart, you gotta smell it. So
I don't want to be on the bottom. Look at that, Brodie,
How can I don't think it's a problem. You don't
think it's a problem. This person will. Well, apparently neither
does Alejandro, because this twenty one year old kid said,

(49:40):
I got an idea, this is the solution we've been
waiting for, and then Twitter just busted out. Fresh hell
just dropped, said one person. Another person reacted, I'll be
back to comment once my clustrophobia. Let's me breathe again.
This is an awful prototype, Alejandro, what do you what
are you thinking of? Anyway, you gotta google the image,

(50:03):
you likely, I think. I think the only problem is
right now, in the image it looks like maybe one
or two people sit upstairs and one of twoeople downstair.
Theres a lot of room you can lay down. It's great, right.
I think the problem is the airline is gonna go, oh,
that's a great idea, and they're gonna just jam three
seats up top and jam three seats in the bottom,
and you have the same shitty leg room, and you're

(50:23):
just gonna have twice as much, twice as many people
jammed into the same shitty space. Lucky for as soon
as they realize how to sell more and more space,
they're gonna sell it. Lucky for haters like me. It
was just a prototype and it was at the Aircraft
Interiors Expo in Hamburg, Germany showcase. So uh oh, there's
a lack of overhead luggage storage, so you don't get

(50:46):
the luggage, you don't get the luggage rack above, you
don't get the overhead compartment because these seats are in
the way. Well, then put them in the floor. Have
flow store. It favors it lacks of that in favor
of the area between the two this, this guy and
the person on the top. The person on the top.
Your head is only four point nine two ft from

(51:09):
the ceiling of the air turbulence. You're a dead man. Okay,
this this, this ends here. It's a prototype. People laugh
at the Right brothers when they said, look, we got
a plane like that's never gonna work. Yeah, I'm sorry.
It's a Google double decker airplane seat. In case you like,
where's the link just Google and New York. It's the
New York Post article. Speaking of Google, I just taught

(51:32):
scary scary you had never heard of. Let me google
that for you. Let me google that for you. You
can explain this. You go to let me. I think
it's like, let me google that dot com. It's also like, right,
so you're gonna let me google that dot com. And
it's a little window, looks like a Google window, and
you type like new York mets and hit enter, and

(51:52):
then I'll give you a u r L. You take
that u r L, you send it to someone who
asked you a dumb question. Then they click on the
r L and it goes to a page that looks
like Google, and it types New York mets in the
Google window, you see it being typed, and it enter
and then it's and it actually then Google searches for
you and shows you the results and tells you like, yeah,

(52:14):
all you gotta do is put a nook mets enter. Right.
It's pretty much a subtle way of saying it's not subtle,
you're dummy, right, Well, I mean you just pretty much
give them the link and just walk away and let
them boom. Like when people text in I'm trying to
win the contest, what's your phone number? Yeah? You know what,
in the time it took me to see your text
and get back to you, you could just googled Elvistrand

(52:34):
phone number. That's it. It's so easy. Boom boom. And
if you're a listener to be in your phone you're
going contests, let's have that preset. What happened to you
with Target? Oh? When I my order? So I tried
to use the app to get a bag of dog
treats and two pairs of underwear. Uh, my new favorite

(53:01):
underwear company. I'm not gonna mention who it is because
they're not a sponsor, and I'd like them to be
a sponsor and they aren't yet. But it was a
two pack of underwear, not share. And by the way,
I'm I'm gonna tell that joke. It's an old joke. Well,
I went out. It's I've used it before. Two pucks
when Tupuck first passed away. Uh, when I was in
a still in a comedy group in ninety five, I
think ninety six, we did like a new like a

(53:23):
weekend update segment, and I said, oh it news today
Tupac Shakur was tragically killed. Remember two pucks spelled backwards
is could put. So there's my six year old, twenty
six year old joke. But I sue David Brodie, I'm
a snowflake too soon. We're gonna talk about the Snowflake
show coming out, Okay. So I ordered it, said there

(53:44):
was like one one dog baggy dog food dog treats left,
and to two of the two packs of blue blue
gray under where I wanted it says, oh, you can
pick it up. You have twenty four hours to pick
it up, forty eight hours whatever. It was great. The
next day. Mom, I'm driving a Target and I say,
have a notification. It says Target canceled your order. We're

(54:06):
out of stock. You go the fuck you're out of stock.
I know I bought them yesterday. You you you sold
them to me. You have them, So I guess maybe
someone went to the shelf and didn't have them, but
the inventory said they had them, so they canceled my order.
I get to the store. I don't know. Fifteen minutes later,
I go to the dog food aisle. There's twenty bags

(54:28):
of the dog treats. They weren't just put out there
were there. It was a stop and mixed, a shoddy
operation they have going. And then I go over to
the underweest section and there's a dozen packages of the
underwear I wanted in this course there is you gotta
see for yourself. I never take it for you know,
I never take it at at well. They reverse fun

(54:49):
maybe because I was at Pet Smart and two of
my dogs only like a certain kind of uh fresh
pet food, and it's it's the country stock l has
a little corn in it, so it's at pet Smart,
but it's seven targets same dog food. So I'm at
Pet Smart getting some treats for the dogs, and I

(55:11):
opened the Target app and it says, we have uh
three bags of this Country food left. Go great, I'm
right up the road. I'll be there in ten minutes.
I get there, there's none. There's none. So I had
to go back to pet Smart and pay the extra
two dollars because my dogs needed dinner that night. So yeah,

(55:36):
Target App, Fuck you Target App. Well, you know, remember
when they had the run and all the COVID tests
back around holidays. You know, the app from Dwayne Reid
said they didn't have them in stock, and I kept
refreshing and then we're not in stock. And then then
I was like, I'm just gonna walk over there. I
walked over to the store and they had just gotten

(55:57):
a delivery in or a delivery was already sitting there,
and people that were you were already taking them out.
And I'm like, look at this. I guess it's not
up to the minute. They're like, oh no, Yeah. The
app decides to refresh like every few hours or so,
so by the time you go and get this, it
could be gone. So it works both ways. Brodie. I
just but the app is never to the minute, ever.
So no, but you have three they don't. Don't tell

(56:18):
me it was a run on three bags of dog
food of that one style, one flavor, one variety. The
duck funk out of here. Okay, Uh, I do At
some point I want to talk to you about bad
parenting and what happened to me at the movie theater.
Well preference, Well yeah, I let's uh um one of

(56:40):
those and then now we'll we'll we'll do all the
all those the talkbacks at the end. How about that,
all right? And about my soundclips with that, both of
them with that. Okay, So I'll just taking a movie
theater because I went to see a new movie and
I went. Now normally I go to the movies. Lately,
I've been going to a CINEAMRK and UH if you
have been to a Cinemark, they're all relatively brand new

(57:02):
UH movie theaters and they have digital sound three D
Imax H four D where the seats vibrate with the
movie vibrations. Really top notch movie theaters. And AMC, which
used to be top much movie theaters, not so much anymore.
They were the pioneers of recliner chairs and and and

(57:23):
and UH seats with you know, preset seats, with the
where you can get your seats, your numbered seats and
every stadium. Pandemic was not kind. Pandemic is not kind.
So I went to uh the theater to see light
Year with my kids. Now, my my kids are late teens,
but they're like it was Father's Day, Like, let's just

(57:43):
go to light Year. Like all right, fine, we'll go
to the movies, go see light Year, the latest in
the buzz light Year toy story, uh spate of movies.
We get to the theater and there's a poster for
the villain sample the villain combo and it for scary.
It's two drinks I see included in that a large

(58:07):
popcorn and two bags of snacks. Sounds like a bargain,
well compared to the regular prices. Yeah, now the popcorn
is like two dollars in a bag in the store,
but I don't mind over paying because it's with you
a popcorn, the sodas please two dollars max. And now
you're talking like four or six dollars and a couple

(58:27):
of bags of candy. You can get a target if
they're in stock, but you're in the movie theater. You're
paying for the experience. And we know that, right, that
sounded like a lot. It sounded for a little bit
of money. Yeah, it sounded. My bottle of diet soda
in my back pocket. So I don't need a soda,
So I get the thing soda shorts teen point nine

(58:55):
ounce bottle of dia PEPSI I don't I'm not wearing
cargo shorts right now. So the guy puts the bucket
in the popcorn and scoops it up and hands me
the bucket. Now, my kids today, I don't want to
say anything, but the bucket is like three inches from
the top filled. Now you know, when they take the
scooper and fill the bucket, it overflows, it's fallen out

(59:15):
when right, it's like two or three inches in the top.
So I got that's the that's that's the large right.
And his hand is gripping inside the lid for the
like inside the bucket like a claw. Right right, the
popcorn should be in the bucket. But again, I don't
want to cause the scene. It's falls day. I'm gonna

(59:38):
be a good guy, So I get I get the popcorn.
We go into the theater for our assigned seats. Now,
the theater is empty. Okay, apparently no one's going to
see it. Let your in Father's Day, which is fine.
I mean I went out to with my family. But
this is how we killed time in the afternoon. The
three seats are seats one to three and roe j

(01:00:02):
or ten, ten, nine and eight whatever. The last three
seats were the third seat in. They're all red leather seats. Scary.
The third seat is devoid of leather. It's the white
like cotton the whole seat, the white cotton that's underneath
the leather, right, and it's itchy. So my daughters are

(01:00:23):
fighting over who's gonna sit there because they want me
to sit in the middle seats and they can be
on each side of me. Sore, like I'm not sitting there,
like I'm older than you. You're sitting there. So we
sit down now. So my seat is like it's ripped.
And you know, there's like lights on the seats, like
when you want to turn the light on, like you
call the waiter over, the lights don't go off. The
lights are broken in the on position, and the buttons

(01:00:45):
that turn the lights off are missing. There's like a
hole there in the arm in the in the wall
of the seats, so like, you know what it, let's
just move up to row F. No one's sitting there
because you could look on the on the app you
could see what tickets are sold, right, because if you
want to buy tickets, they show you what's it's are taken.
So we moved up, throw off, and we're like go
right in the middle. We sit down and my daughter

(01:01:06):
to my left goes to put a soda in the
cup holder in the armrest and the armrest falls off.
She manages to catch the icy. It was the icy
so it didn't spill. But the armrest is like swinging
like a turnstile. It's just like hanging there like bloom.
And our seats seats have like most leather. We found
seats and had like mostly leather. But the armrest is

(01:01:29):
falling off. The place is falling apart. Okay, we sit
in our seats. They don't recline, which I'll mention it
in a minute. The one to my right, my daughter
to my right, her seat reclines. The problem is none
of the seats are recliner seats. The seats broken, so
it just goes. It happens. That's an AD's an added bonus. Actually,
so she's like the seat goes back to hell with it.

(01:01:50):
I was like, okay, you know how you go stadium seating,
so like etro gets a little higher. I don't know
what happened, but the stadium seating is not the not
stadium seating, so the seat in front of you blocks
the bottom two ft of the screen. That's terrible, terrible, Okay,
So the theater was designed for cot for Cocta. The

(01:02:12):
previews start and in the middle of the screen, about
six ft wide by six ft high, is a brown
a brown spot, a scam brown spot in the middle
of the screen, like somehow that it's got burned in
like screen burn on your phone. There is a brown

(01:02:33):
ship brown stain that like it's see through but it's
it's brown. So like, well, maybe that's maybe that's the previews.
Maybe the preview reel is damaged and when the movie starts,
it'll go away. So we watched all the previews. Then
that god awful plastic surgery train wreck and Nicole Kidman

(01:02:53):
that they make fun of on TikTok where she's like
walking through the theater. He's like, it's the magic of
the movies. People come here for the magic and they
go and the fucking brown spot. There's a brown spot
in the called Kentman. So my daughter is like, well,
maybe when the movie starts, the brown spot will go away.
The brown spot never went away, so it was actually

(01:03:17):
on the screen. It's either on the screen or on
the projective lens. Is it something? What was it? A know?
It was like it was the screen was brown, like
there was a brown app open. Then it burned into
the screen. So every scene that was dark you couldn't
see it. But any scene that was light, like a
white background, there's a brown fucking stain on the screen.
But it wasn't like a stain. It was a perfect square.

(01:03:41):
It was like the screen ripped and they went to
the store and found brown screen and they patched it
into the middle like they were patching like a window
curtain or something. What ratchet fucking theater is this? I
want to avoid it. It It all costs. Mountainside, New Jersey
the AMC and mountain Side Theater one twenty today and

(01:04:02):
it's a brown square. So I hit a m C
up on Twitter and I told him about my experience
and they sent me. They sent me three passes and
a coupon for a free popcorn large popcorn. You know
that's terribly sorry. The popcorn should be overflowing. There's no
excuse for that, and we will immediately look into the brown.

(01:04:24):
I was like, all the seats are ripped, all of them. Now, look,
I have a soul. I understand that pandemic was hard
on movie theaters, all the more reason why the seats
should be in better condition because nobody's been sitting in them. Yeah,
you know what, that's a layup for free dessert because
they couldn't argue with any of that. And that's just
awful on every level, on everyone. How do you not,

(01:04:46):
like get a listen. You can buy red leather tape
on Amazon and and and tape the seats so they
look like they're decent. You can buy red leather and
blew it down. But the seats. I should have taken pictures,
but I didn't. The seats are all white cotton. Who
the hell wants to sit on white cotton? Like you're
like some kind of mexipad. That's what it was, Lisa,

(01:05:08):
wasn't red cotton. It's podcast. We have a bunch of
sound sound and we have we have your talkbacks. Let's
go over to some sounds. So I already see one
that you're not You're not working with this guy's name again?
Are you which one is it? Maze? Okay, so let

(01:05:34):
me let me Okay, So I have gas prices, I
have Wolverine, and I have you have John bon Jovi.
U somewhere, but week I guess I do, Yes, I'm somewhere.
I'll find it. I want to play the Okay, so
let's go to Let's go to mas Mas is short
for Lie Missilli. Li Missilli is probably in his sixties.
He was a legendary New York met in the eighties

(01:05:55):
and he played for the Yankees. He's been a coach,
I think he managed for a short period of time.
I've met him. Nice guy. He's from Brooklyn, right, he's
a lie Missoli. He talks like he's from Brooklyn. He
says what's on his mind. They called him the Italian
Stallion when he played for the Mets. Okay, he's filling
in on the radio. So he's not a normal announcer,

(01:06:17):
but he knows he knows baseball. Knowledgeable guy, and he's
filling in with how he rose, how he is the
the quintessential radio professional sports broadcaster X does hockey base
boys great now scary on the radio when you're doing
it when someone else in the room is doing a
live read a live endorsement. Well, let's say Elvis is
doing a live endorsement. What is the role of the

(01:06:37):
other people in the room. The co hosts either a
shut up, be be ready to say anything, or seek
complimented and deep don't talk over the person, right, But
like Elvis may go right, Gandhi, don't they have the
best best? And she'll go, oh my god. But you
have to be paying attention, right, So I want you
to play the clip now, Matt missilli Mas, he calls

(01:06:58):
him as in the clip, he's not as loud as Howie.
So if you don't hear what he said, I'll reiterate
what he said. But I want you to listen as
how he is talking about a promotion. And then what
masses reaction is. Now, the other thing is you've got
to like that. You've got to like the product, right, yes,
So listen to Mass doesn't pay attention, and then when
he says about the product ahead played the clip. He
endless eats seats at City Field on Mondays. Now we

(01:07:22):
know why Mass isn't working on Monday. Visit nets dot
com slash deals for more information. Puts mondays lady. Those
endless eat seats. You know, you get a ticket in
a certain area in the ballpark here, as much as
you want, I'll pass. Okay, First of all, he say

(01:07:44):
what he didn't know he was talking about. We'll play
We'll play the clip again. But I'm gonna tell you
what happened. But Scary just said how he talks about
this endless meat, endless food seats you can eat, sit
in the seats and eat all day. And it's Monday.
He goes, I guess we know why Mass is off
on Monday, implying he's gonna sit those seats and eat
all day. Mask goes, what are you talking about? You
know the seats? I just so he goes, It's great. Yeah,

(01:08:06):
he goes, Yeah, I'll pass eats seats a city field
on Mondays. I'm not one. Mas isn't working on Monday.
Visit next dot com smash deals for more information. Puts
mondays lady. Those end listen eat seats. You know, if
you get a ticket at a certain area in the
ball park, here, you chew a game as much as

(01:08:28):
you want. Pass, I'll pass. That's hysterical. Yeah that sounds
got funk that ship. I don't care. Oh man, I
don't care. Ifybody doing a promo? Fuck you, Yeah, I
don't care. I'm I'm gonna hear it. I'm not hit
full time. I don't work out. I'm just gonna be honest. Man,

(01:08:49):
I'm not gonna pay attention to trying to want to
be honest, I'm trying to lose weight. Yeah, so I
might take it off Monday, doze, eat seats. I just
told you. So we have the gas prices clip. Oh okay,
you guys, you know what an average is, right. If
you say something the average of something is ten dollars,
that means half of it is right approximately half right,

(01:09:12):
it's not it's the median right right, ok, the middle.
So this is a guy talking about gas prices on
the news. So he tells you what the what the
price just hit and then listen to the clip. The
price of gas is about to hit five dollars a gallon,
and if you've been in anywhere else in the country,
you'll see that, boy, the average price is really higher

(01:09:34):
than that. So his news story is that gas is
now five dollars a gallon, but if you travel in
the country, gas is five dollars a gallon. But if
you travel around the country, the average is even higher
than that. I see no problem, no problem with that statement.
Scary if the average is higher than five dollars, and
then it didn't just get five dollars, is about to

(01:09:57):
hit five dollars, about to hit five local And if
you know the country, you'll see that. Boy, the average
prices really higher than that. Where where were you? What
were you watching? Cable news? Cables is not a local
this is one of the big three cable news. Then obviously, yeah,
that that that's a wrong statement. But I'm saying if
if you're watching something that's of course yes, of course, yes,

(01:10:21):
it makes sense. But you're watching a national broadcast. This
is about to hit five dollar. Picky bastard, I am
okay wine. Wolverine. Okay, Wolverine is one of the baddest
ass characters in Marvel, in any comic book company DC,
Marvel Wolverine. So there's a commercial now for a Wolverine
podcast and the announcers and when you hit the announcer

(01:10:43):
he's like Wolverine. Everything is like and then somehow they
let a little girl into the commercial, which just ruins
the erection. Listen to a commercial and how fucking it
doesn't belong. Okay, let's play a commercial, present a new
podcastlanders Wolverine. I want to take Comrade Skull. Let's do this.

(01:11:12):
He's like, I want to take on Red Skull, and
he goes, let's do this. Well, I mean that's balancing
out the spot so this way that attracts, you know,
young female fans. I don't. Okay, he was probably on
that on a male oriented station, a hard, old school
classic rock. Doesn't matter. They because the screenplay has heard

(01:11:34):
why shouldn't she have a lot? It just it just
stuck out to me, is terrible. Yeah, let's do this,
like yeah, yeah, this so out of place. He's like Wolverine,
it's death and I'm moving on. That was David Brodie,
the Sex that, Uh do you have three bon Jovi clips?
Um looking for them? I don't know where they would
be last week bon Jovi one two. I think they

(01:11:55):
got a race because there's not enough memory on this
fucking thing. All right, let's move on to talk backs.
We've got a lot of fun off the recent You
have a John bunch over the next week next time
you know John, Well the next episode, Well they've had
important it's very good. Yeah, all right, play your play
your talkbacks. Oh we have to set up what we
asked people. Yeah, well, first of all, if you listen

(01:12:16):
to the I Heart Radio app, you have the opportunity
to talk back to the podcast as as the podcast
is playing by pressing the microphone button, all right, and
then leaving us a little uh voicemail almost instant on
the spot, better clarity. Last week some guy called in
and said, hey, Brody, Normally I agree with you, but
you gotta cut this ship out with the right. So

(01:12:39):
we asked you to call us and say what should
I cut the ship out of? What should I stop
fucking doing whatever? He said, I shouldn't do it. So
hopefully some of the some of these talkbacks will have that.
Others will just be responding to random things from last
week's episode two twenty one. So yeah, let's see what
we have here. We haven't heard these we're hurting them live.

(01:13:00):
Scary as a farmer from the Midwest, why do you
say that soybean oil is bad? For you. Soybean oil
is not bad for you. It is everything else that
he just mentioned that is actually bad for you. That's
not true. That is an opinion. Uh. That's like the
dairy Council chiming in and saying things like, you know,
milk is good for you, milk is could be good
for you, but too much of that is not uh,

(01:13:22):
soybean oil. Look look it up, google it. I'm not
you know what, I'm not a doctor. I'm not a scientist,
but I'm certain I certainly don't work for the Soybean Council.
I'm not a soybean farmer like she is. So your
your opinion maybe slanted in that direction, just saying like
you know what I'm saying, Like the pork people. It's
like it's like it's like in every year when you

(01:13:43):
run for president every four years, like you go to Iowa,
you have to say you're all about ethanol. You love ethanol, right,
which is corn based fuel. You know, because if you
go to Iowa and don't say you love ethanol, they
will never vote for you. That's like the right. But
that's also like saying like the J. Reynolds Corporation person
saying don't tell them that's smoking is bad for You're

(01:14:03):
smoking is good for of course, you're trying to sell cigarettes.
I'm not comparing all the cigarettes, but soybean oil not
good for you. If you if you google, you make
your own decisions, go to some health doctor. I'm not
a doctor per se or a scientist, but but I'm
certainly not going to feed into you know, someone who's
a soybean farmer, who is you know, obviously I don't

(01:14:26):
want you to lose your job, but but you know what,
there's a difference between unhealthy and healthy and moderation. And
I think she's saying it's not unhealthy as much as
it's healthy and moderation. It's it's generally not good for you.
But okay, alright, go ahead. Next, Hey guys, how you do? Hey,
let's shut the funk up? Guy? Hey Brodie, this was
directed towards you. I just thought a bit about the

(01:14:47):
whole gay bar was just last a little bit longer
than what it should have um one to hear other content,
and just too much time moisted on that. Otherwise, love
listening to you guys, and people on doing you. That's fair, Okay,
I appreciate that feedback. You go all right, and he
called back, a man of his word, thank you very good.

(01:15:08):
So now let's see what everyone else thought. He meant,
I'm sure somebody's gonna clarify it. Brody. I am a
nurse practitioner that works in urgent care, and I have
to tell you nine times out of ten, it's the lab. Yeah,
that's what they tell you. They tell you it's that.

(01:15:29):
That was That was a reference to the skin cut
graft off my face. Yeah, but you should know that
because you listen to in Order, right, that's correct, Dy
Scary scary and Brody corner the ups driving. Yes, Hey,
how about you shut the pump up about pizza? To

(01:15:49):
shut the punk up New York pizza all day baby? Okay, well, okay, alright,
fair enough. Hey, this is man. He's from New York
and not to throw Scary under the bus, but you
know he didn't mention the dr Fat laws program while

(01:16:09):
he was well, Brodie, you were putting away your burrito, uh,
and without missing the beat, yelled M hit the jingle, bitch.
But he didn't hear me. So I just want to
point that out. Why you may want to You gotta
get on carry on that alright, while you got scary, dude,
hit the jingle, bitch, dude, bitches don't snitches get stitches?

(01:16:31):
You ask, all, Yeah, well don't hit it a week
late was scary. Thank you for the loyalty, my friend.
Thank you. Brody didn't even listen back to the podcast,
so he never would have found out. I listened eventually.
I randomly listen episodes. Go ahead, that Casey's Breakfast Pizza, Man,

(01:16:57):
you can't beat it. Iowans we got the best that
how low is the bar in Iowa? Tell you something?
The bars must be said so clearly, clearly. You like
the pizza, and that's fine. But I'm guessing you think
it's the best pizza because you have not had great pizza.
You don't know, like, you know what's scary? Say sometimes

(01:17:19):
you look at green, but it's blue to other people.
I think I think to you, that's good. It's like, okay,
here's an example. You know how like your mom makes
the best whatever, right, Yeah, my mom makes the best
meat low. My mom makes the best spaghett my mom.
Because you grew up with it, it's your like you
want your mom to make Like, oh, could you give
me that recipe. Mom, you write down how you make

(01:17:39):
brisk it, how you because your mom makes it the best,
because that's you love it. Nobody else makes it the boy.
So Casey's pizza is your mom's pizza. It's right. But
I will say this, okay to the credit, and again
I apologize. I was kidding. Iowans and and wherever there's
Casey's pizza and you love it made made withood have
not tasted it, and I'm where it's awesome for what

(01:18:01):
it is not like pizza. It's scrambled eggs and bacon
and stuff, and it's not sauce and cheese and things
that we are classically defining as pizza. That's all. It's.
It's a it's breakfast, breakfast type treat. It's it's like McMuffin,
but it's it's you know, it's yeah, shaped like a pizza.

(01:18:22):
Holy ship, Brodie, shut the funk up about your fucking
Charger's kidding to love you guys, and it's better than
Ski Resolexus and the beamer with the red interior over
that's a true fan right there. Thank you? All right, Yeah,
hit the fucking jingle, bitch, I got your back. Brodie

(01:18:45):
scared to try to slip it in when he wasn't looking.
If you know what I'm saying, you fuck you, love
you guys for life. He got a bunch in there,
He got a bunch of catchphrasing. Jingle bitch again. I
will say that I actually really mentioned it a lot

(01:19:05):
during the while you were When I went to get something,
I was throwing plugs in their left and right when
you weren't listening and paying attention. I was throwing it
all kinds of spawnsor non sponsored content. Yeah, clearly, alright, alright,
right Finney and right that ship, right enough, good bye.

(01:19:29):
That was in response to the gas station accidentally giving
me my one back and including my change, so they
paid me to take a full take of gas and
drive away minutes later, and not knowing which gas station
I was acting. People kept the money, so there you go.
I would keep them. He I don't know who that was,
agrees with me. Yeah, keep the cash. It's okay, right, right, okay, Uh,

(01:19:55):
let's see we got here. Final grouping. Yeah, hey, Scary
and Brodie. Brodie and Scary. Uh listen to the episode
six back when the studio constraints made it so that
the voices are quieter than sound effects and music, et cetera.
Whatever it was. Anyway, I have the volume at a
relatively low level. My windows are closed in this parking lot,

(01:20:19):
and there's just fart sounds so loud right now, scary
people are looking at me left and right. I'm like
so embarrassed. Thank you for that. Uh all right, see
you guys. That's great episode. Man. By the way, the
I told the two girls, because they had not started

(01:20:39):
from zero, the influencers to go back and start from zero.
But then I said, you know what, I'm gonna let
you cheat a little bit. Go ahead and listen because
I said, I've ever been to Siadel's. They said no.
I said, well, added to your list of restaurants you review.
But I want you to listen after you go to Siadel's.
Wait to listen Episode one oh three. That's okay, deal
episode deal, Brody, you are too literal when it comes

(01:21:01):
to this English ship. Let me tell you these people
do not talk the way you talk. It doesn't happen,
and stop beating about it. I think she means people
don't speak the way not talk away. But anyway, love it.
I agree, I agree, with her. She's right, She's right.

(01:21:23):
Listen back down and people listen and they go, oh,
I learned something, you know, so listen, this podcast is
a chance to be an event about ship. That's really
what you know. Okay, sorry if that's not like a
Dirk for this, but I had to turn off the
Apple podcast come to have her radio, just to leave
a talk back to say, scary, the hundred dollars was

(01:21:45):
meant for you to keep. Apparently somebody meant for you
to have it. Just say your prayers and you know,
pass it forward. I guess uh next time, especially says
you don't know where it is, I think it's meant
for you to just keep it from Virginia, by the way,
love you all right. The flip side of that is,
was it meant for that guy to get fired for
giving up a hundred? We don't know he got fired.

(01:22:07):
We don't know how that story ends. Don't write the script.
You're My guess is that guy needs the hundred more
than you do. That that's that meant to be things,
not the owner of the gas station needs a hundred
more than me meant to be. I don't think he
was the owner of the gas stage the owner. I'm
saying that because technically the money goes to the owner,
because the guy comes out of that kid's pocket. That guy,

(01:22:29):
we don't know that either. You're writing a story that
you don't know the ending to. But she's your prayers
thanking God. That's some guy off. I'm staying and saying
a prayer that that he didn't get caught or fired
or responsible. I'd like to hear you do that right
with the gas owner making money hand over fist that
that that you know what, don't count on the people's money.

(01:22:50):
Something some homeless guy thinks you're rich or be here.
That's okay, this is land speaking scary. Go to Google Maps.
It sounds like, find where that casson is because there's
a GPS track, uh timeline. Good at damn dingo, and

(01:23:11):
uh pay that guy back. Yep, I said the same thing.
I said. Go on Google Earth and just look for
gas stations in that area. You'll know what it looked like.
I like a good, honest man called good. I move
on next one. Brodie, you spent like a half an
hour talking about your dermatology Visit didn't even tell us
if you were going to die, so I hope, I
hope you're okay. I love you guys. Oh, I'll update you.

(01:23:33):
I just got I just got the update. By the way,
I want to send a special shout out to Latrelle,
the woman who works in the office at the dermatology
place I talked about last week. She gave me. You
know what, I don't want to play because I'm not
permission to play the voicemail. She gave me the nicest,
most detailed explained. So what I have, let me see
if I can give you the name of it. And

(01:23:54):
I want to tell you I'm not dying. It's important
I tell you I'm not dying. I don't have skin cancer.
But what I have is a pre skin cancer, which
is not skin cancer. And I let me let me
tell you what. I'll give you the official name cases
any dermatologists listening, so I have it's it's caused by
the sun. And what they have to do. I have

(01:24:14):
to go in July after this wound on my face heels.
It's called at actinic keratosis, which is a non cancerous
lesion on my face. How sexy is that? And by
the way, the guy in the picture that girl sent me,
he didn't have a thing on his face like I do.
He never read Mark. Okay, I have to have a

(01:24:37):
cryogetically killed off my face. They're gonna frozen off, be
frozen off. They could be frozen off my face, and
that's what's gonna happen. So I'm not dying. No cancer
on the face. There you go, all right, Thank God
for small favors. There you go. Okay, you did not
carry episode to eighteen. I'm responding to the collar. This

(01:24:59):
is Maryland from Omaha, Nebraska. No. I've listened to your
podcast starring from the beginning, and for the most part
I can barely hear Brody, which probably is a good thing.
But now Harry always comes through loud and clear. That
wasn't very nice. I thought I was all excited. Omaha

(01:25:22):
Nebraska called I've never been. Now I'm supposed to go
there to the Omaha Zoo. We were supposed to, Yeah,
well the Morning Show Elvis and a bunch of us
were supposed to go to the the beautiful zoo in
a bunch of us. Yeah, we were supposed to go there.
It never happened. The pandemic happened and then canceled the trip.
But because I wasn't invited anyway, you didn't never rescheduled.

(01:25:45):
I don't understand who the guy is who decides I'm
not going on these trips. That's some bullshit. Wasn't me?
I know it wasn't you. Shaggy put the next time,
shut the funk up about Katie. We like to pick
on Katie back. We're really gonna end on that one.
I guess. So no, that's the end of it. That's terrible.

(01:26:08):
That's terrible. Alright, well, better luck next time. Leave us
as you talk back, or you can always call us uh.
The APE seventy seven. The FEE seventies seven hotline is uh.
I don't know. It's lonely. We haven't gotten much on there.
You can fu a b E seven seven I do
have before we leave. I wanted or do some unused
jokes and and some unused on our way out of here. Well,

(01:26:30):
let's do that real quick, all right? Let me whoops,
I'm trying to I can't hit my buttons fast enough.
Sorry about that. Okay, Yeah, Brodie wants some unused jokes.
These are some punch lines that were Brody wrote the show,
and they were never used on the show, so instead
he saved them and he reads them here on the
Brooklyn Boys podcast. All right, so this one you have

(01:26:53):
to know the music. But uh, boy George from Culture
Club from the eighties band he was he got really
piste off at people because there was no car waiting
for him at the airport. So based on a song title,
I said, Wow, Karma Chameleon is a bitch. That's funny.
Thank you if you know they have a song called

(01:27:14):
Karma Chameleon, So I can cut a bitch. So Alex,
Elvis's husband went fishing for fluke it's a type of fish,
and apparently he caught a big fish. So my joke was, well,
if Alex caught a big fish, it must have been
a huge fluke. Hio. That's like a dad joke, but

(01:27:36):
it's clever. And now it's a bit I do every
year that I write for Elvis. I do celebrity Mother's
Day cards, celebrity Valentine's Day cards, and celebrity Father's Day cards.
And it's supposed to be Hallmark cards, you know, allegedly
that celebrities either received or sent to their mother's father's

(01:27:58):
or got for father's there this day. So we did
not do celebrity Father's Day because we were off on
Monday and by Tuesday Elvis didn't want to do him, huh,
which is fine. So here are the celebrity Father's Day
cards that Elvis would have read had we done him
on Monday. Chris Rock got a card from his kids, Dad,
we didn't get you a present, we didn't take you

(01:28:21):
to eat at your favorite place. But look on the
bright side, we also didn't slap you in the face.
Happy Father's Day. That's great. That's not this one, this
one with Froggy got this card from his son Caden. Now,
as you know, he and his wife. He always jokes
he doesn't get enough sex and his wife, so this,
strangely enough, his son sent in this card. Dad, you

(01:28:41):
taught me to love sports. You took me to the
Super Bowl, so I know you'll get a hole in
one before mom, lets you get one in the hole.
Happy Father's Day. That's raunchy. Elvis would never have read that,
Yes he would, because he's read similar. Tom Cruise got
a card Father's Day card from the mother of his children.

(01:29:01):
His ex wife, Katie Holmes sent him a fantastic card.
Top Gun Maverick has gotten terrific reviews. It's so good.
People forgot how much they hate Tom Cruise. Happy Father's Day,
and that's true. The movie is so good. Gandhi. This

(01:29:22):
got a card for her father. You know her father,
a great great grandfather was Mahatma Gandhi. Uh So if
you know the show, you'll understand the joke. If not,
explain afterwards. Dad, you're a doctor and my great great
grandpa was a world leader. But you love me even
though I'm just a DJ and a pot brownie eater.
Happy Father's Day. We've a fan of the marijuana. Taylor

(01:29:43):
Swift sent this card to her father, Dad. You know
I love you. You don't need to be a brain surgeon.
I even wrote this card for you. It's not Hallmark.
It's Taylor's version Happy Father's Day. Cute because she has
Taylor's version of all of her albums, right, that's correct,
all her songs. She read in the mall. I got
a copy of the card you sent your father. Oh me, yes,

(01:30:05):
how did you How did you get How did you
get my father's card? He he faxed it to me
on my fax machine. Yes, Dad, unlike you, I'm into
all the new trends. But you know what I'm not
into Last week when you tried to get high with
my friends. Happy Fathers Day, because my father got drunk
and said, it's straight up. The only thing they'll make
this party better is some weed. Yes, and your friends

(01:30:25):
wanted to get him weed. Maybe next week. Oh little
Saint West to his father Kanye West. Dad, you have
four kids, but I know him your favorite one, even
though I would rather hang out with Pete Davidson. Happy
Father's Day. Oh Danielle got a card for her husband, Sheldon?
Did she how many cards are given out here? Sheldon?

(01:30:48):
You're a great husband and a fantastic father, of course,
but I love you the most because you're hung like
a horse. Happy Father's Day, alright? Because she always talks
about he's packing, he's acken. So there you go. I'll
leave you on that. I'm that's that's what I got,
all right. And her son listens to this podcast, how awkward?
Yeah da if you listens to the sorry Spenny Spenny

(01:31:14):
and Pressy and Pressy pres Spenny Presty, Oh my god,
yeah my god, oh my god. That's all right. We're
gonna leave al right right there, and maybe that's maybe,
that's that's why we'll see you in a few weeks,
the week of July eleven, eleven, Happy father of July. Everybody. Boys, Boys,

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David Brody

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