#224: Who Talks To Their Penis?

#224: The Boys announce their first public MEAT UP...at a steakhouse of course; Skeery FaceTimed a celebrity to prove to someone he knows him; Brody got Scamboni'd by a malware blocking company; Snowflakes live on social media comment threads; Skeery left Brody hanging in a huge thunderstorm; Brody encounters a guy yelling at his penis; Skeery almost got screwed for being humble and NOT using his name to get in a club

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Start Data Up. Brooklyn Boy Start Up, Brooklyn Buy Data
They making Noise Data Up. Episode two of the Brooklyn
Boys podcast. Hello, Hello, Hello, David Brody, Hello Scary Jones. Oh,

(00:27):
it is a fine day in New York City where
we were recording this podcast, the suburbs of New York City,
otherwise known as New Jersey, New Jersey Dirty Jers, as
we love to put it. Yeah, god man, and it
smells extra bad today. It smells like hot garbage everywhere
degrees out in the middle of a heat wave with

(00:49):
no relief in sight. This is day four. Um, there
was relief yesterday for a brief period two days ago,
for a brief period of time, which we'll talk about
later in the podcast, trust me. And and by the way,
a heat wave. In order for something to qualify as
a heat wave, you need three consecutive days of ninety
degree temperatures plus, and we have had more than our

(01:10):
share of that. It was ninety plus every single day
for the last few days here in the Northeast as
we're recording this. Oh my goodness, it's already Friday. How
did the week get away from us? I don't know.
I'm not one of those people I'm not. I'm not
one of those. Can you believe it's August first already? Dude,
I told you it comes up. It comes up every year.

(01:34):
It's the same twenty four hours a day, it's a quarter.
It's moving faster though I am one of those people.
I am. I have to believe it, you know. First
of all, as soon as the fourth of July comes,
it's just a downward spiral and it's a race to labor.
That's because you're enjoying yourself. So time flies, but I
want to flies, but then you have a shitty life.

(01:58):
I want time to go slow. Okay, here's what you do.
Sitting in your house with no way of conditioning. Never
leave the house and sweat your balls off. You'll see
the summer last forever. But why did it last forever?
When I was a kid, and then I had the
time of my life. So you can't say that that
statement is untrue because when you're a kid, you don't
have perception of time, and everything seems longer because you're like, oh,

(02:19):
school was months ago, and then we have two weeks
left before school. It zip spy. The last two weeks
before school always flew by because you're supply shopping, you're
buying clothes, and all you're thinking about is going back
to school. Well, I'll say this, two weeks suck my.
My tactics have been to do everything and just not

(02:40):
rest for a minute because I want to get the
most out of every minute of every freaking day. So
I've been going non stop and you're enjoying yourself. I am,
but it's still going fast. It's not working not well.
Because you're enjoying yourself. Time flies when you're having fun.
Well that's an expression. You may have heard it before.
All right, Well we'll say this, okay, And I'm not

(03:02):
looking forward to this. I'm not trying to rush the
hands of time. But we want to make an announcement
right here, right now, right up front of this podcast
about something that we're doing with you, the Slicest that
you're invited to, that we finally fucking organized after all
we after two episodes. But again, we're doing no rush
to get there because we want to enjoy our damn summer. Okay, Yeah,

(03:24):
so we're doing it after the summer so you guys
can enjoy your summer. You don't have to give up
a nice beach day to come see us. We're talking
about the Brooklyn Boys podcast meet up. That's m e
a t meet meet up because we're gonna meet you
at one of our favorite fucking steakhouses, Benjamin Steakhouse Prime. Yeah,

(03:48):
we were in talks with Benjamin himself. We we uh
we we we sat down, we ate some steaks. A
very nice man to have that much power. Yes, he
owns a couple of He has a couple of steakhouses,
got five, five and four or five multiple countries. But
Benjamin Steakhouse Prime in New York City. We want you
to make a reservation and meet us there on Saturday

(04:13):
evening September. We're gonna be all the retails on all
the website. That's right. If you go to Benjamin Steakhouse
dot com slash Brooklyn Boys, that's Benjamin no s Benjamin
Steakhouse dot com slash Brooklyn Boys, you will see all
the information and our lovely pictures and we've worked out

(04:34):
quite the deal. We're gonna give you a three course
meal and of course it includes steak if you want.
There's options for your your appetizer and you're entreine your
dessert and everyone who signs up and read reserves and
comes in and gets that deal, gets what free dessert. Yes,

(04:57):
so it's gonna be a lot of fun. Now, we're
not recording a podcast. We we aired on the side
of not because we wanted to make the most of
the time with you guys. Yeah, we're gonna eat, we're
gonna schmooze and walk around, and we're gonna have We're
gonna have our own step and repeat. We'll get to
take pictures were own step and repeat. Yeah, we're also
going to give away some prizes. We're trying to work

(05:17):
on some some fun premiums for their Maybe we'll have
a merch table. You could buy some Brooklyn Boys merch
on the spot if you'd like. Maybe we can do
some maybe it's a little bit of discounted merch maybe
while Yeah, we'll see and and and No. The only
thing I'm a little concerned about no shipping, no shipping costs.
That's right, you just buy it out right, That's it.
One thing I'm concerned about it the website claims special guests. Now, um,

(05:42):
I don't know, you know, we don't know if they're
special guests coming. I mean, we do have friends, but
we don't know if they're going to be in town
and available that night to come by. So like somebody
emailed and said, well, don't you have if you Boddy
Microut before show up. It's not I wouldn't say buddy, yeah,
and I wouldn't say that. I think you know you
have those friends that will help you move, uh, and

(06:02):
then of those friends will answer your phone call. He's
neither one of those, right, But but he's friendly to
me on social media. I love the guy said, hey,
why did you get your buddy Joe Joe Gatto to
come by? You know, he's on a he's on a
national comedy tour. He may not be probably not gonna
be around. But you know what, maybe maybe Scary will
FaceTime him and he can say hello on FaceTime. We'll

(06:23):
tell that story later, because that's a great story. I
will say, we gotta get Spruce to come. You told
that story ready? Yeah, Well I'll ask him feel Colm,
he lives in Manhattan. Yeah, but you can't take his picture. Wait,
hold on, I didn't. I didn't tell the Joe Gatto
story on the podcast. I think you did? Didn't you did?
I you told the Bengel story that's part of the

(06:44):
Bagel story. I don't think I did. Hold on, No,
I didn't. We didn't tell We didn't talk about this
at all. All right, we'll have to tell the story.
We should probably call Joe Gatto and get him on
the podcast to get his reaction about Wait, you sure
I didn't. I don't think you did. Well, here's what

(07:05):
we can do. We could not do it now, and
then everyone could let us know if we did it
or not. Well, I could just look at the show
description for two three, but can tweet right now? People? No? No, no, what? What?
Why don't we just look look at the shows? That
would have been a major thing to write. No, I
don't think I did it. We didn't talk about it anyway.
So but anyway, we we will have hopefully some friends there,

(07:27):
maybe Spruce on the Loose will show up and you'll
finally see who the hell this guy is. Um, we
can invite our girl Danielle de Lulo and some past
friends like that. But well, we'll see how it goes,
all right, but maybe some of your ex girlfriends for
the moment. Just make your reservations right now. Um, go
to Benjamin Steakhouse dot com slash Brooklyn Boys, and uh,

(07:49):
make a reservation because we do need those. You can't
just show up, you have to take a reservation for
a table because you're gonna be sitting sitting at a table.
We were we were given the option of doing it
on a Friday night, where we can get a lot
of people who work in Manhattan to come right after work,
nice and easy. But we said, no, let's do it
on a Saturday so that you guys have time and
if you have to drive from somewhere or train it

(08:11):
in or whatever. So Saturday, we thought, is a better
travel day and then you're off on Sunday. You don't
have to like worry about getting home. And we can't
do it on Sunday because it's September eleven and there
are other things going on that we can't that they
they just that was the date that they gave us
that they can work with us on. So Saturday's evening
September Sunday. There's gonna be someone complaining about why it's

(08:31):
on Saturday. Okay, but here's what I'm gonna say. I'm
gonna say a couple of things. Sunday is gonna be
NFL football now, Look, if you keep kosher and can't
go out on the Sabbath, that's what I'm talking about.
You're probably not eating at that steakhouse. It's not kosher.
So I'm hoping you know what. But look, uh, if
you know but you can come Saturday after sundown. That's
the beauty of it. Whenever the sundown, once the sun

(08:52):
goes down on Saturday, you can come. So we're good.
It's Friday night, that's the real problem. So we're good.
So we're good. We'll good, we'll good, We're good. All right,
we're in town weekend. Because this doesn't count. It's scary
buying me a steak dinner. Yes it does, it does. Yes,
this is not You're not buying me a steak dinner.
You and I throwing this for the slices does not
count as as you buying me a steak dinner. Come on, Nope, nope, okay, no, no,

(09:15):
all right, nope, nope. Can I tell you about a
steak dinner. My wife and I went out to dinner
last Friday, had a great dinner, and we had some leftover.
So I go into the bathroom with my bag of leftovers.
Not really part of the story. But I'm painting the
picture and I go to the Jurnal and the guy
guy comes into the urninal next to me, and there's

(09:36):
a little metal wall between us. It's a nice bathroom,
and he's drunk off his ass and he's talking to
me about how the valet Parker's brought his convertible but
then left the convertible when he wasn't there when the
car was there, and now they can't find the keys.
And then when he went to go back in the restaurant,
the doors were closed because it was after closing, and
it wouldn't anybody else belts back came and he said,

(09:57):
he's blah blah blah blah blah, and I'm going, please
pe faster, Please, is me pee faster? Pete, come up.
I'm thinking to myself, I gotta get out of here.
I got await from this guy. I'm like, oh yeah, dude,
that's yeah wow who you know, you know when you
talk to somebody like you know, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.
So he's trying to start a conversation with you in
the back and I just want to pee and get outside.
My wife's outside the bathroom. Well, she went to the bathroom.
So I'm assuming I have a couple of extra minutes,
because you know, we we take less time in the

(10:18):
bathroom traditionally. So I go, oh, hey, dude, good luck, man,
good luck you call hey man? Yeah, okay. I'm like,
I hope this dude's not driving because he's a little drunk.
So I walked to the sinks and I'm washing my
hands and I hear him go, hey man, let's go.
So I'm like, I tell her to go. I'm sorry.
He goes, dude, I want to go home the night.

(10:41):
I go, yeah, well, good luck, get in your car.
And I go back to washing my hands and he goes,
don't do me like this, come on, motherfucker work. And
I turn around and he's yelling at his dick. He's
yelling at his dick and he's yelling. He's apparently that
he's not coming out. Maybe maybe he was tripping and

(11:04):
he was talking back to him. No, no, he I
could hear. He wasn't peeing. I could hear, you know,
you hear the little noise. He wasn't peeing when I
was standing there. And then when I walked away, I
thought he was yelling at me. He's like, dude, I
want to go home tonight. Don't do me like this
like that to his penis. And then he come he yelled,

(11:25):
and he yelled loud. He was come on, motherfucker work.
Oh god. So I was like, I gotta get out
of here. So I go outside of my wife's like
I heard yelling. What's going on? So I said, there's
a guy yelling at his dick. And she goes, Okay,
I don't you want to know? She just nope, I
do not want to know. No further question. Yeah, so
I have a question. I know he tried to ask

(11:46):
your own day, but if you ever yelled at your
your day, like like to get up, wake up like anything? No, no, No,
I've never no, I've never yelled at it. I've never
spoken to it like a person. Like have you ever
walked out of the bedroom and go like, dude, come on, man,
I need you here. Nothing like oh no, like a
pep like a pep talk, Yeah, like like like a
peen talk, yeah like yeah, like come on, gets wake up, dude,

(12:10):
Like you know, this guy's getting home with his wife whatever, Like,
don't wake up, it's probably slap it in the face.
Wake up. Don't wake up, Come on, motherfucker work. He said, dude,
I want to go home tonight. Don't do me like this.
Look right right in right and it's one eye and say,
don't do me like this. And he threw his arms
out like he was, you know, looking down. Oh, it's

(12:33):
the funniest thing. Speaking of cox, can I talk about
a cockatoo? Uh? Yeah, sure? Three three right after it's
the boys. I don't want people to jump down my
fucking throat or anyone's throat for promoting this or playing this. Okay,
I did this on the Big Show. I talked about this.

(12:55):
You know, there's this parrot. It's called the Cocky Cockatoo.
It's a viral video that's going around. And you know
how parrots, what would parents do? Brodie? That's what that's
what an expression? You teach them things, right, things, So
they learned words and phrases and they repeat them over
and over and over again. So I found this cockatoo
to be so fucking funny. Listen to this. This is

(13:17):
you try to would you try to ask your cockatoo? No,
we're not listen to this guy. This guy. You know,
it's you know, it's funny. Though, by the way, you're
telling a story about a cockatoo that talks, and I
told the story about a guy talking to his cock right,
go ahead here? What shut up you? Why do I

(13:38):
have to you? You be quiet? Shut up? Man, shut
no respect. It's a white I'm your dads. What the
feather goes up on its head? I love this thing.
I want this parrot. You said, shut it, shut your mouth,

(14:06):
shut out, shut your hear you. Okay, anyway, it sounds
like he's saying, shut up, scary, shut up, scary, shut
your mouth. I hear you, hear me. Shut up. You
think you're tough. You shut up? Anyway you get it,
go shut your mouth, shut up, and go. He'll be quiet.

(14:27):
So those three phrases he's main things. Okay, So this
is a situation where a guy who owns a bird
who he feeds the bird, takes care of the bird,
trained the bird, loves the bird. He's got a bird. Okay,
he taught the do the birds some good tricks. Your
dog gotta sit down, roll over, whatever. Okay, you've got
to see the comments. Oh I did under this fucking video.

(14:51):
Oh my, going the bird? You're gonna give the bird
anxiety all the snow flakes, hold on, hold on, I
gotta get you, gotta get the snowflake jingle for this one.
Because people are fucking idiots. Idiots commenters, dude, YouTube TikTok,
real comment commentators are thread commenters are fucking morons, every

(15:14):
last one of them. The snowflakes were out. Oh my god.
Not only the anxiety comments. This bird is distressed. It's
screaming at the top of its lungs to shut up.
It wants to owner to shut up and be quiet.
This is awful. Hey, I got news for you. The

(15:36):
parrot has no fucking clue what it's saying. It mimics sounds.
It could be anything in the world. It doesn't know
what shut up means. And have a nice day and
I want to burger. It doesn't know what any of
those phrases are. It hears sounds of your voice and
it repeats them. And my real life, I get the

(15:58):
parrot trainer here tell me that they actually have feeling
an emotion attached to it. I think the complaint was
not that he understands the words. It's that the guy
was yelling and berating the parrot and they were worried
that the parrot would get stressed from the yelling. Listen,
I've met a lot of people who yell in their lives,
including both of us. That guy could not have been
more softly spoken. Come on, man, come on, come on,

(16:20):
come on. He's like he's like a nerdy guy, like
telling the parrot the parrots yelling. I would worry more
about the guy being yelled at the parrots yelling at him.
But to give the parrot, to give the parrot too
much credit is just fucking ridiculous to think that the
parrot knows and processes what it's saying. It doesn't know.
It's just it's just sitting there. And I think it

(16:42):
was the yelling. I think it was the yelling parts.
Do parrots yell? Oh there's no dress? Would you rather
be a parrot or a chicken? Because the chicken's gonna
end up on a plate, So let the parrot can
live and gets yelled at. But you know what, Listen,
I love animals, I do, but everyone has a different
And I'm not the fending these people, but everyone has
a different line right of what's acceptable with animals, Like

(17:04):
some people love the circus and some people like, you
can't have animals in the circus. Some people love going
to the zoo, which is educational. It gives you a
better appreciation for animals. And some people all you're you're
trapping to animals in a cage. Well you're also the
flip side is you're keeping the animals and being eaten
by a lion in the in the forest. Well, thank
you for that. Brought you on that note. People were
complaining that I went to the New York Aquarium a

(17:25):
couple of weeks ago, and you know, and I featured
that that video on my social They were like, this
is awful. There's these animals, uh, you know, they're being
there in captivity. And I'm like, how are people How
are kids going to learn and get into these trade
and get into these appreciate and appreciate. Yes, without having

(17:46):
the educational component of what an aquarium or a zoo
can bring, they may become the next zoologist that solves
you know, the world from extent an extinction problem, or
you know, you could whatever it is. But but what
I'm saying is you have to teach people and and
unfortunately there has to be you know, the you know,

(18:06):
I get it. We want everyone to be full. But
but but they were like screaming me about that about
the aquarium. But you can't. You can't own a hamster
because you might put him in a hamster wheel, but
you can't. So we got so Sabrina Corpenter was on
our show, UH singer Sabrina Corpenter, who I'm a big
fan of as a person, as a performer, and she
said she was She did a video for her new

(18:26):
song which you can go watch. It's um because I
Love the Boy I think is the title of it.
And she said, you know, we got a real line
in the video and a tiger, real tiger in the video.
I was like, it's not c G I as I no,
it's a very well trained tiger. And so somebody texted in,
you guys are promoting animal cruelty. Animals shouldn't be in
videos an so so I said, look, I wrote back,

(18:50):
I said, look, we promote UH anti poaching. You know,
we don't believe in poaching, offense, f ivory and endangered species,
and we give money to to to rescue UH dogs
and cats, and we talked about adopting rescue pets all
the time. Our line is to respect animals, right, but
weed hamburgers right. So yeah, everyone has a different line.

(19:13):
There are vegans, there are vegetarians. There are people who
like Siegfried and Roy piece out to Roy. Uh but
and there are some places that that whip animals. Terrible, terrible.
I don't know how this tiger was was trained. He
could have been raised from a little little cat to
be friendly ish and and then walk in the video. Right,

(19:33):
So are you guys just promoting and get horrible people?
I said, look, we're not horrible people. We just at
a different level than you. You might have a leather
couch and someone might yell at you for having a
leather couch. There's always somebody who's more extreme. So don't
act like we're not. We're very good with animals. How
about this extreme um? You know today, you guys are

(19:54):
making fun of me because I decided to drive my
car three blocks to the restaurant instead of walking three
blocks in nine degree heat humidity with no socks and
thin shoes on pounding the pavement six blocks. No thanks,
you know, I took to my car there. I gave
you my reasons. Well, this person they posted the video,

(20:15):
this person, and yet Angela Angela's ce. Hey, how about
thinking about your planet? The planet emoji hashtag shameful, hey,
scary Jones. Everyone can do a little bit to help
crying face emoji with the tear coming. Our planet is
literally burning up around us, and as humans keep thinking

(20:37):
it's someone else's problem. So because I decided to drive
my car three blocks, this person feels the need to
write that on my comment thread because and once again,
is that really I'm hoping they're half joking. I mean,
I mean, maybe I'm taking this too seriously. But if
you know, they say that said and jest, you know,

(20:59):
by the she doesn't know whether or not you have
an electric car. She doesn't, but you know, I don't.
I mean you don't. I don't. But look, your car
doesn't pollute. And uh, if you had taken a taxi
cab would that have been any better? If you listen,
If you're in pain, you're out of shape. A person,
not you, But you're entitled to live your life a

(21:20):
little bit better technically I'm not. But okay, but I
don't understand your point. But I'm not. There are there
are people that that have I don't want to single
anyone out our slices may have it, but there are
trucks that spit black smoke into the sky and then
they have signs on the truck that says fuck the fun,
the the the environment, whatever. Those people maybe shouldn't spot

(21:43):
their truck up for three blocks, but you have a
clean burning car. I in the stand admissions. I get it,
but leave a person alone for driving three blocks? You
know what I mean? If you have bad feet, your
bad like. I gotta be honest with you. I made
fun of you for doing it. But on the walk
home on back was hurt a little bit, and then
it started raining on us. Yes, oh, speaking of rain.

(22:04):
I gotta call you out because because you listen, anyone
needs a lift home, I drive them. You've needed lift homes,
I drive you. We go to things in the city,
Go Scott, take my car. Drive you back to your house.
Oh man, pretty appreciate that. No problem, right, I always
pick you up. On the way into the city, I
go scared, I gotta pass your house anyway. I'll pick
you up right right, have I haven't turned you down

(22:25):
for a ride if you needed it. Never, Hey, bro,
do you wanna drive? I drive to the met game.
I'll drive right driving it for you. So today's on Friday, Wednesday,
we live right, we leave the building. It's a hurricane.
It's just a downpour like it's a it's a tsunami
of rain. I know what tsunami isn't rain. I know
that I'm saying. It's sami rain. A lot of waters
coming down. The trees look like they're gonna fall over.

(22:48):
It's craziness. The people from our building are all lined
up by the doors outside like trying to hide under
the little lip of the building because either they want
a vape or they want to smoke in the corner.
They want to go somewhere, but they're waiting for the
rain stuff. And it's the strongest rain I've seen in
a long time. It's a long time. So I have
to walk to the garage a block and a half

(23:10):
a block and not a lot, but in this pouring rain,
when I'm wearing shorts and a T shirt, it's a
bit much. It was a hundred degrees earlier. So Scary,
who normally parks in the garage with me, has gotten
post pandemic lazy and he parks on the street sometimes
just sometimes right one or two days in WEEKI parks
on the street where he really shouldn't, right in front

(23:31):
of the building. Right in front of the building, you
walk out, there's this cop boom. So he's driving Sam
home from our show and I go. He goes, hey, man,
I have a good night. I see tomorrow. So I said, Um,
I hate to ask, but um, could you just drive
me the block, like, go around the block to like

(23:51):
and just drop me off with the garage. I said,
I'll even because the garage is in the middle of
the block. I said, if you want, just do the
wrap around and then drop me off at the corner
so you can keep going straight to the tunnel. And
Scary goes, no, man, I'm gonna go straight here and
go to the other tunnel entrance. He goes, but, but
there's an umbrella upstairs. If you want it. It's a

(24:14):
big umbrella. It's a big umbrella. I go, okay, I
guess that's as good as a lift. And he gets
in his car and he drives off dry and I go,
now I have to go back upstairs. I looking through
a pole crap in the studio for the umbrella. Hold on,
I get the umbrella. It's a giant umbrella. What's the
problem with a giant umbrella in a windstorm? It's blowing

(24:36):
and turning inside out and I'm like pulling it down
on my head from circumstance on a sunny day. He
had a circumstance, but it was raining. You call your
car getting hit the circumstance that you don't know. You
don't want to kill the environment. That's no, you really
want to know. You know, there's no excuse there minutes

(25:00):
try there is an excuse ahead. Yeah, I had to
take a dump in the worst way. I was like,
I gotta get home right right now, and you walk
past the bathroom to leave. No, not doing it in
the building. If I don't have to, I don't do
it in the building. I don't care. It's like there's
a there's a toilet in the garage where I parked. No,

(25:22):
even worse that place because I had to walk in
the rain because you had to poop. Yeah, I had
to go. I had to get me out of here.
Selfish and considerate, son of a I'm not selfish? Are
in considerate? I had to go. I had to go.
I'm like, I'm not gonna make it. So those extra
two minutes could have been the death of me. I'm
just saying. I would say, you're full of ship, but

(25:46):
not anymore podcast and I can't. I can't you feel
free to you know, when you gotta go, you gotta go.
But don't, dude. You know I'm there for you at
every time. And I appreciate that you give me rides home,
and I that you go out of your way. And
I'm appreciative you drive. You've never driven me home, by

(26:09):
the way, You've never driven me. Oh wait, but yeah,
you passed my house to get to yours. But I
live nowhere near where you. I don't have to. I
drive into the city, I pay for the tolls, the gas,
and I go. You know what, someday scale pay me back. Nope,
I have to poop. I can't drive. You go walk

(26:29):
in the rain. Someday I'll buy you a steak dinner, Yes, someday,
you know. Speaking of people not being appreciative, I'm driving
on the main road where all the store, the shopping
is uh in my general area right like it's the
it's the it's the it's the main road where like
there's a best Buy and a Target. Right So I'm
I'm doing some shopping. It's a Saturday, and you have

(26:51):
to turn from the main road into this big right
turn to get into this into this into the parking
lot where the stores are. And there's a girl, girl
I don't know, maybe she's eighteen twenty. She's crossing the
road from the little grass area to the others of
grass area because this grass on both sides of where
you turn in. And I think she's walking to one

(27:12):
of the restaurants, because maybe she works in the restaurant.
I think she had a shirt on from one of
the restaurants. And I stop mid mid ramp to go
into the parking lot. I don't have to stop. She's
not at the crosswalk. I stop. There's a call behind me.
I wave. I go, you know what you go. You
look like a nice person, go to work. You go
in front of me, and she looks straight ahead and

(27:32):
crosses the street. Never says boo, never waves nothing. So
I rolled down the window and I said, excuse me.
Most people would say thank you're a wave, you know
in that way. She turns around. She goes, fuck you, douche.
She said that yep, And as she turned her out
and walked away. So not only did I not get

(27:53):
to thank you in or the wave that when I tried,
you know, I look, I understand I was being you know,
that guy for pointing it out, but maybe somebody should
point it out. You know. It wasn't like she had
headphones on and she was like in his zone. She looked,
she saw I stopped, turned her head, walked straight across
like your damn right, you're stopping for me. No. No,
So then I go to Costco and I had to

(28:14):
do her. I had to do a return at the
customer service desk and whatever the reason was, I had
their seat. They were having a problem. They couldn't do
the return, so I had to call a supervisor or
to do the return at a at a register off
to the side, like the supervisor register, like when there's
a problem. So I go over there and there's a
guy who his job is to go behind the counter

(28:36):
and take a shopping cart and load up all the
returns and go put them back. Okay, So he throws
them on a on a like a big hand truck
cart thing loaded up. It's a flat bed with two
like on each side. It's like, uh, got big big
handles and behind me is all the abandoned carts from
people leaving the store and didn't need the carts. So

(28:59):
he's going past me, and I know the cards are
behind me. So I go hold on, man, let me
help you out here, and I move all the shopping
carts out of his way. I cleared the path. You
know what he says to me. Nothing. He goes right
by me. Do do do do and keeps going. Now

(29:19):
I could have said, you know, sir, most people say
thank you, But let me point out the difference. He
was bigger than me, of course, that you're not gonna
You're not gonna approach him the way you approached her.
And also I wasn't in my car. I could drive
exactly by the way. There was a car situation that
this guy had David Brody written all over him. He
was at car. He pulled a fucking move man. We

(29:41):
So I was down the shore with a buddy of
mine and I guess for some reason, we were moving
lanes and my friend didn't signal for whatever reason, I
don't know, because whatever it was, I don't know. He
just accidentally didn't signal. Okay, accidentally, it was an accident.
He's signing he's not a dickhead, okay. And then so
we're sitting in the line of cars in a red light,

(30:03):
and in our right lane a car pulls up. Here's
the David Brodie character. Uh, rolls the window down, and
I looks at me, and I look at him and
I and I'm on the passenger side of my best
friend's ride and he's on the drive's seat. Yep. And
I rolled down and what's up? And he goes, hey,
he goes, that's a nice car you guys have. He says, yeah.

(30:24):
My brother goes, yeah, it's a nice to range Rover.
It's nice. Okay, cool, because wow, I'm really surprised, um,
you know, uh, for a car that's brand new like that.
It's it's it's crazy how you the blinkers don't work.
I mean, you probably should get that. He goes, he

(30:45):
probably should get that checked out. And I'm looking at
my friend and I'm like, this motherfucker's toying with us.
So I figured I go right back and I'm like,
you know what, I'm like, you know, you know, you know, hey, Brian,
did you realize your blinkers aren't working? And then he
I winked at him, you know, and he goes, nah, man,

(31:05):
he goes, oh, wow, dude, thank you so much for
telling me. I'm gonna go into the shop and get
that looked at. This is crazy. And he starts like
flicking his blinker like trying to, you know, pretending goes,
oh my god, I don't think it's I don't think
it's working. Oh that's so nice of you. Thank you
so much, thank you. And then the guy just like

(31:26):
gives one of these like fucking assholes, rolls up his
window and just keeps going, I tell you a story,
but you have to be an asshole. And I'm like,
that's something David Brody would do. Yeah, my, but I
see a range Rover is higher up. You have leverage
on me exactly. Yeah, he was in a low car.
See My response if I was in the range Rover
was would be like, you know what, when you can
when you drive a car expensive like a range Rover,

(31:48):
that you don't have to signal. It's only the poor
people that need to signal facts. Do the Jogato thing
or not? Not? No, I think we should talk to Joe. Well,
I don't think we're gonna do it on this episode.
I think it's funny if we just talk about him.
I think we should just explain the bit. I think
I don't think we need Joe to come on, and

(32:09):
you know, I don't think we do can. I don't
want to use that chip. I don't want to bother
the Joe to come on and then he goes. He
may want to, yeah, but he may he may want
to comment on this. He may want to say like,
what the funk are you thinking? Scary? But I don't
think he would take that angle because he's a good guy. Yeah,
but he I think I think I think he would.
I think he absolutely would say that. So I think

(32:30):
I think we should prepare him. I think we should
call him and say, hey, would you like to be
on to discuss this. I wouldn't call him now. So
then do we not do the story now? No? Do
the story? Yeah? And then we can. And this is
not something that I do often. I don't know. You might.
You might now when I was at once, you think
it was okay, So then I want you to tell

(32:50):
yours as well. So when I was in Montreal, and
we'll make this quick, when I was in Montreal with
my buddy Danny, we having having the world's not best bagels, Danny,
any connections any connections having the best fucking bagels. By
the way, don't fight me on it. The best bagels
in uh in North America are in um Montreal, not
New York. So so uh so we were at the

(33:14):
bar and we were ordering drinks, were talking to each other,
and then this couple comes up to us because they
were at the bar, they were going to order, and
they lean over there like, hey, wait, we detect an
accent where you guys from. And I'm like, oh, we're
from New York. And they're like, oh, we knew it.
And then the guy goes, we love New York. We
are such fans of New York. We are a huge, impractical,

(33:36):
impractical joker fans. I'm like, that is the next thing
that right out of their mouth. I mean it was.
There was no segue, there was no breath taking. It
was like it's almost like who thinks of that? Who
thinks of that? Like usually say New York, you think Empire,
State Building, you think other things. You think Saturday Night
Live whatever, or you think of Landmark or what or

(33:57):
or food, Broadway or Broadway. The very next thing they
say is, oh, and it's the Impractical Jokers, And I'm like,
get out so so so stop right there for a second.
And me and my buddy Danny look at each other
like that's an odd comment, you know. So so I
was fascinated, right, I was taken right from the get
I'm like, I I have a question about that. I
have a question. So listen, I think the Impractical Joe.

(34:20):
And I know Joe's not in on the shot on
the show anymore. We're there from season ten. He's still on,
so okay, all right, So, and we love the guys,
all of them, but uh, and they're very talented. But
if you think, listen, I don't know where you're from
in the country that you'd go, Canada, I guess is
not the guns right where the first thing like, there's
so much, like you said, so much going on in
New York. Yes, I just don't know if impractically as

(34:42):
talented as they are. But I was thinking, would you
think about New Jersey? Would you go, oh, but I
love bon Jovia, I love you're from New Jersey. I
love bon Jovi. Would you say that yes? Because I
think bon Jovi is more sit on and spruce. Springsteen
and the Sopranos are more spruce, spruce, Springstein, spruce Springstein,
our Voice, spruce, uh and bon Jovi. I think they're more.

(35:03):
They're more um, you know, connected. And the first word
in mind if you're thinking of like the first word
if you think Long Island, you think Billy Joel. I
don't mean who knows, absolutely so, but I don't wouldn't
think in Practical Jokers is the first one I begged
the question. I said, the streets of New York. That's
exactly why. Why is that the first thing that you,

(35:26):
you know, you mentioned. Then they're like, well, the only
thing we really know about New York is Home Alone
because they watched Home Alone, the movie Home Alone, which
is the worldwide smash. Apparently everyone in the world that's
never been in New York will always point to Home
Alone as they're what they think about New York because
that's what they see at that end. And for this

(35:46):
guy and this couple in Practical Jokers, because they're obsessed
with the show and they see them filming in you know,
the streets of New York and Staten Island where they're
from whatever. So at that juncture, well, it know the
movie thing like if you're from if you're from a
small town, right, I was born in a small town,
thanks John Cougar Mellencamp or John Mellencamp or John Cougar,

(36:09):
depending on how old you are. If if you're from
a smaller town, right, or a smaller city and they
make a movie about that small town, I get where
you go. Well, the only thing I know about, you know,
Dubuke is that that Dubuke movie, right, Like right? But
to say, all I know about New York is home alone.

(36:31):
New York is arguably the most famous city in the world,
one of the top couple right, for whatever reason, how
do you avoid how do you avoid seeing New York
in hundreds and hundreds of movies on the news? What
a hold the crime? Uh? You know, We're like like

(36:51):
the Mayor of New York is always in national figure.
But whatever the top of mind thing for them was.
So with that said, I was fascinated by it. So
what do I do? I say? Well, I said, I'm
actually we're friends with Joe Gatto and they're like, no way,
And I'm like, no, well I am. I know I
know Joe personally, and I know the guys. I'm like, yeah,

(37:14):
I'm I'm and the like, no, shut up, prove it,
prove it. So then it gets into this like literally
escalated quickly, and I pulled out my phone. By the way,
but you pulled out your phone. You just said you're
a big fan of all of the guys in in
im practical jokers allow them salth q mur and murr. Okay, yeah,
I I said, I know Joe, and then I showed

(37:36):
my phone and I said, look, he's in my phone
and they're like, no, no way, that's a different Joe
Gatto and I said, no, really, they didn't think that.
They thought you had another guy named Joe Gaddo. They
didn't believe it. So they're like, face time him right now. So, okay,
you can't bother the guys. Well no, I didn't, Well, brody,
so here's what I did. So I called Joe. I said,

(37:59):
hold on a set and I walk away and walk
off and I said, I called Joe, and I'm like, Joe,
you never hold him, didn't even text him. And I
called him. I said, Joe, You're never gonna believe this,
I said, um, half buzzed in Montreal. Believable yeah, because
I love Montreal. I said, yeah, I said, I'm at
a bar and word association. I tell these guys I'm

(38:23):
from this guy and this girl, I'm from New York.
And the very next thing they say is we love
in practical jokers. And then it escalated and now they
don't believe that I know you personally. They want me
to face time you. So before I can't even finish
my fucking sentence, Joe, face Time's me. Well what the
call was still alive and I'm like, oh, here it comes.

(38:43):
So my buddy Danny Connections actually tapes this whole exchange
with Joe. And by the way, by the way, for
for a brief couple of minutes, you were scary Connections.
So I just made this couple life. They were freaking
the funk out that I just put them face to
face with Joe, that's all. And it was a moment.
It wasn't a bragg art thing. I wasn't trying to
get anything off of this couple. I wasn't trying to

(39:05):
get it. They were First of all, they were like
twenty two years old. I was a doing it. You
wanted cred, you wanted I don't need cred, dude. You
could have easily you could have easily gone to your
Instagram or your Facebook and put up and showed him
a picture of you with Joe. You and I have
like ten pictures with Joe. He's on our podcast. Look
this is my podcast. You face time to him. Joe

(39:27):
assaulted the earth by the way I FaceTime him. And
when he faced time me and he's like, let's do it.
So so that was kind of funny and that was
cool whatever it was a moment it was. I didn't
give out Joe's number, dick. So but I've I've been
I'm gonna say victim, but I've been on the receiving
end of this several times where people were drunk in

(39:48):
a bar somewhere and my name somehow came up the
radio station and my friends fucking face time to me
like boom and didn't give me any fucking heads up,
and they're like, scary, You're still fucking bother my phone
Because I do it. I do it every time with love,
because one day someone no one's gonna ask for that
or care, so I do it now while people still

(40:08):
do When anyway, who was the person that you did
that for? And by the way, that was the one
and only time I've ever done that ship ever. I've
never done it ever before I saw I've done it
twice with the same celebrity, Enrique Glasiers Get out you
bothered Enrique. Yeah, so my dental hygienist loves loves, loves

(40:31):
loves Enrique glass And and you know she heard him
on the show and I said, yeah, we're very friendly.
This was back when Enrique was banging out pop hits
like crazy, and we would have him on like every
six months, every time in a new single, we had
him on. And Froggy's good friends with him, right, So
I I have his number, So I said, yeah, I
got I have his number. She's like, oh, oh my god.

(40:52):
She wanted to touch my phone because I had the phone.
So I so, I said, I said, um, I said, look,
I he's just like I would die to just talk
to him. I just stuck go stu. I said, well,
I you know I I so I I called him.
I said, hey, Enrique's uh I start to bother you.
It's David Brody, you know the guy, the guy who
sort of know from Elvis show. Yeah, yeah, you don't

(41:17):
even know him. That well, no, no, I know he
knows who I am. I I know he knows who
you are. But right and he knew, he goes, he
knows who I am. But I'm not gonna sucking you
get on phase time with her, you know, so he said,
he said to me, Goes Brody, what's up? What do
you need? Man? What do you need? I said, well,
I my my uh you know my uh teeth woman.

(41:38):
When I when I say, she's my high jenis the
dental high genis she huge fans, She loves you, You're
her whole pass. You know, she's she's just fun and
she's just thinks the world of you. And and uh, oh,
well anytime you want let me know. How about right now?
He goes, put her on. So I I put her on.
I put her on the phone. And then he said
to he goes, Oh, he had to had a long

(41:59):
conversation with her. He says, listen, next time I'm in
foro Elvis, you come up and see me, you come visit,
so you get so so she texted me right away.
Oh my god, oh my god, my god. So next
time he came up, I brought her up and you
met her and uh and she met him and he
was over. Oh. I had a great compensation. He was
really nice, really nice. But the thing is, like, you know, Enrique,

(42:20):
I mean like a Lady Gaga. We know her, she
knows us. Yes, I'm not gonna sucking bother her somehow,
you know what I'm saying, Like, that's not Joe Gatta.
We can do that because we're kind of next level friends,
right well, like Enrique I had, I had. I felt
like I could do that. We were on that level
with Rique. Now with Joe I know, I know Joe
twenty years No, within Rique, though, you you were not
on that level, you know, but he did it anyway.

(42:44):
I took a chance. Okay, all right, right, Actually I
asked Froggy when he thought. Froggy was like no, he'd
be okay with it. All right, okay, so we got
all right back. Um, I want to play a video
on TikTok if I might, If you don't mind, I'm
gonna play the audio for you. Very funny video, very

(43:04):
funny video. Um. Now, this is this guy did something
scary that you have always complained about, You've always bitched about, right,
and that do we talk about this? Last week? I
think we talked about this. We did this all right,
the audio. I want to play the audio. Okay, we're
talking about me wearing a Jimi Hendrick shirt, right and

(43:25):
not really knowing Jimi Hendrick songs. So I didn't know
Jimi Hendrick song and I just didn't know them in
the moment. Yeah, okay, So this video is great. He
goes up to people in rock shirts and asks them
to name three songs. Well, this is brilliant. By the way,
I did see this. He has, he has a whole
series of these. Yeah, so here it is, here we go,
there we go. Can you name three Kiss songs? Can

(43:49):
you name three Sublime songs? Can you name three led
Zeppelin songs? And they're all wearing those shirts. Can you
name three Rolling Stones songs in three c DC songs? Um? Uh?
Can name three Rolling Stones songs? I don't And he

(44:14):
named three a c DC songs? Now, okay, can you
name three Ice Cube songs? Bat Man? Can you name
three Black Sabbath songs? All a dude, master reality, there's Sabbath,
Bloody Sabbath. All right, So this guy stole my bit.
He's very funny though. He's the nine th the ninth

(44:36):
inning at the ninth inning. Very funny, but it just
goes to show you scary. You're in good, You're in good,
awful company. At least I'm better. At least I can
name those fucking songs. Okay, the biggest Hendrick song. But
I'm I am a fan of lavender and that's the
color of the shirt, and I'll continue to wear it,
thank you very much. It goes with a lot of
my outfits. I've got a lot of compliments on it.

(44:56):
I did, I did want to talk about one of
the dispute that you and I have have ad um Jay.
I want to read this correctly. Jay screen name on Instagram.
She's the Dreamer. So Jay is a woman, She's the dreamer.
She sent me a picture of brown soup with the
matster ball in it and dil all over it. Yeah,

(45:19):
and and she said, oh no, that looks like dil
and send me the picture. Now. I clicked on it
because somebody had posted it. She wanted me to see it,
so it was posted by Phil Rosenthal. If you don't
know Phil Rosenthal is he's a comedy writer. He created
Everybody Loves Raymond, a lot of other comedy shows, a
lot of movies. He's a famous comedy writer that I

(45:42):
happened to be a fan of. So I deemed him
because he said, this is the best mats of Baal
soup ever, and it clearly had Dilan it. So I said, uh,
so I idem them. I go, hey, man, uh, I
love your work. Congrats at a success. Whatever I said,
I gotta I got. I say that soup does not

(46:04):
look good. It's got Dylan it. It's I said, it's
not the best soup in the world. It's not better
than my mother's and my grandmother's Matsial soup. And so
he said, actually it's fantastic. Now. What I didn't know
at the time was, uh, Phil Rosenthal hosts a cooking show,
like not a cooking show, like a taste show when
he travels around the world tasting stuff. So clearly he's
more into food than I am. So he says, oh,

(46:26):
that's the soup at Birdie Gees in California. He says,
I like dil was my mom's favorite thing, no jokes.
She loved it so much she we threw dil in
her casket at a funeral. Oh my god, and in
the dirt like they threw it in the dirt at
a funeral where they're bearing her. That's how much Phil

(46:47):
Rosenthal likes dil. So it's from he said, you gotta
go to Bertie b I R D I e Bertie
and the g apostrophe as Bertie ges for the best
mats of all soup. And on the menu it says
MATSI bal soup carrot me so, which is the soup
carrot like carrots in it. It says on the menu

(47:08):
lots of dil. Of course, that's my kind of place.
And Rachel's chicken bra love it. Bring it on because
dill belongs in those foods traditionally. No, no, it's an
either or and it sucks. But so I said, I
said to to Phil, I said, listen, Phil, if you
ever need a comedy writer to work with you from

(47:29):
Brooklyn who sort of reminds people of Larry David but
also hates dil, I'm your guy. And he wrote back
for hilarious. I'll keep that in mind so I may
get a writing job someday out of my hatred for dil.
But I wanted to thank Jay for sending me that
and Phil for being a good sport. When I insulted
his mother. Basically, I said, still sucks o my mother.

(47:52):
I loved dil so much that we threw it into
the funerals. I'm sorry. There goes my career in Hollywood exactly.
That goes to my career. Hey, Bertie, by the way,
let me ask you this question. This is something I've
been wanting out. Okay, I know the answer already, but
I want you to want you to say it out loud.
Whenever I want to get into a hot restaurant, or

(48:13):
get past the line in a club, or do something,
we'll drop Elvis's name, well, yours I dropped usually the
name of the show, and me right right, Elvis's name
and yours right, okay. And I always get be rated
for it. I always get oh my god, chastised, especially
when you're in a drive through. I'll do it in
a drive through, asshole. So so here's here's an example.

(48:40):
I was at I was out in Uh, let's just
say I was just trying to get into a club. Okay, No,
I'm not. I don't want to give out anything. Okay, yeah,
I'll give it out. The guy's name, that's all. The doorman,
the door dude, the door kid, that's what's his name?
Tofur No, his name is tofur you. Uh so, I

(49:01):
it's a tough door. It's tough to get in it.
You need to kind of like even though you know
tofur No, I don't know tofur okaylfor is the third
party here? Tofer is the door person I'm gonna end
up talking to and in a minute. So a buddy
of mine said, look, you know, i'd work part time
security there and people know me. I get tables of
my bottles. Um, that's the guy. Because I'm gonna be

(49:24):
there and I'm gonna go in at like a certain time,
and you're coming in after me. Anyway, I'm gonna let
them know at the door that you're coming and it
will be no problem to get in. So me and
Danny connection, was it? Danny and my buddy Briant was
my buddy Brian? Yeah, Brian, Brian who doesn't signal Brian
rho doesn't signal jets keep Brian. We call him jet

(49:45):
KEI Brian because as opposed to as as opposed to
toilet Brian, who's who falls asleep on the toilet, This
is jet skey Brian, jets keep Brian and I were
headed out to this spot, and so my my, my
buddy gets there ahead of me, tells the door guy
to Fur that I'm coming, and he's like, oh cool, yeah,

(50:07):
that's great, Yeah, scary, yeah whatever, blah blah blah. So
now fast forward to the point where there's a bunch
of people outside and there's not letting anyone in and
there's a fucking rope there, and I hate that. I
hate that. I grow less and less patient with situations
like that every single day. But um, I woke up,
get get the guy's uh attention. I'm like, Hi, I'm

(50:29):
looking for to Fur, you know. And they got a
popped collar, you know, like sunglasses, probably wearing ax bodies
pray whatever, you know, the type, and and uh it's like,
who's asking? Well, I said, well, I said, um. Adam
said that you would again people around me too, so
I didn't want to talk too loudly or throw my

(50:51):
weight around, so to speak. I said. I. I said, well, well,
you know, you know my boy at dam right, He goes, okay, yeah,
I'm Tofur. What's up? Adam texted. Adam said that I
was coming through with a bunch of people. Um did
you talk to Adam. Who's Adam? I said, okay, I said, uh,

(51:11):
Who's Who's Johnny said Adam. Adam. He kind of works
security part time here. He also does a lot of
you know, promotions and stuff. He was actually here a
half hour ago, he said, he spoke to you about me,
and uh, in fact, um, he was like, because I
don't know what, I know a lot of Adams. So
he started getting flippant with me. So he has a

(51:32):
lot of he knows a lot of Adams who just
spoke to him about you. Well, that's the thing that
he's I know a lot of Adams. I'm like, okay,
but obviously I'm giving you a specific scenario. A dude
who walked in a half hour ago named Adam who
you know, talk to you about me coming in and
he doesn't remember. He has amnesia, this dude. So I
pulled out my phone and I said, look, here's the

(51:54):
explain Here's here's the text exchange between me and Adam said,
see to fer at the door, Tolfor is gonna hook
it up, tolf We'll let you through. So and he
looks at it. He looks at me and he goes, well,
who are you, and then of course I was forced
to say, well, my name is Scary Jones and from
the Elvis de Rancho and he goes, he lifts the

(52:14):
rope immediately. He goes, well, why didn't you leave with that?
And I said, I said, because I'm just trying to
be humble. You know, I don't want to be I
don't want to like like throw my name in your face, like, hey,
I'm Scary Jones. Let me in. I said, the fact
of the matter is my dude connected me with you
and and said it was gonna be all good. I

(52:36):
don't know. Why do I have to throw my name around?
He goes, this is the Hampton's dude. He goes, you
gotta say who you are. He goes, you gotta lead
with the don't bury the lead, and he laughed and
he let me in. But the thing is, see, he
wanted me to be just to match the obnoxious yea,
but I can't do that. That's not who I am.
It really is not who is. It's absolutely who you are.

(52:58):
So I just jumped in Scary Jones from the elves
Duran Morning Show and the worldwide Brooklyn Boys podcast. He can't.
I hate doing it. I didn't Brooklyn Boys podcast now
here was an example of me trying to downplay who
I was, and it got me into a tangled mess

(53:20):
where it's like a what who huh what? Whereas if
I just would have said who I was, stated my
name and my affiliation, he would have immediately let me in.
But imagine that, Imagine that. Wow, wow, Well you'll know
for next time not to be uh, not a douche.
I'm not going to be the screet. I can't believe

(53:43):
I've been the screet. I can't. I did it in
this case, I was, and and it it actually worked
against me for a couple of minutes. Well, let lesson learned.
Never be b b be. I gotta be me at
all times. I got a Scamboni audio to play. All right,
we'll do audio next, but can we do the Scamboni's.

(54:04):
Let's do the Scamboni right here? Did I tell you
the story I may have? I don't even tell you
hit it what we got Brodie? Okay? Did I tell
you last week about malware bites that I downloaded software
and they charged me for it? No? I thought I did. Well?

(54:24):
If I if I there's an update, so if I
didn't mention less we I apologize. So malware bites is
a anti spam, anti virus software you can download now.
For like twenty years, it's been free, but recently it's
not free. But you get a fourteen day trial. Cancel anytime.
Right after fourteen days, they lock it and they have
to use your credit card, but you don't have to

(54:45):
give your credit card for the fourteen day trial. Okay,
So I thought I had a virus on my computer.
I thought I did so because it was it was
it kept I know what it was. It was a
browser hacker, a hack. So when I would hit Google
and enter, it would go to a website. So I

(55:05):
had to had to eliminate this particular browser hacker, a
browser hack from my browser that was redirecting me. Okay,
So I downloaded malware bites it, found it, found the problem,
immediately deleted it. It was a plug in I had
downloaded for my browser. Found it immediately, great, no problem,
and I'm using it fourteen day free trial. Around the

(55:28):
six or seventh day of my fourteen day free trial,
I happened to look at my bank statement, my debit
cards statement, you know, my bank by checking account and
it says malware Bites sixty three dollars. I know, what
the fuck? I didn't give them my credit card? What what? So?
I email email malware Bites and I said, hey, you

(55:50):
guys charge me for well, what's the what's the invoice number?
Because I explained the whole story, by the way, didn't
I'm I'm shortening it now, But I tell them the
whole story that I just told you, I said, so,
I wrote back, I go, there is no order number
because I didn't order it. You guys charged my cards somehow,
and they're a BacT. No, we don't you we don't
ask your credit card for a fourteen day trial. I

(56:12):
go back and go, okay, again, I didn't say I
gave you my credit card. What I am saying is
I downloaded your free software and six days later you
charged me for two years subscription. Well, if you want
to cancel, then you have to give an I go, no, no,
not look going to cancel my subscription. I never made

(56:32):
I never made a subscription. I never made a subscription,
said right back again, can you give us the last
four digits off your credit card and the day of
the transaction, and the screenshot of your bank statement like so,
so I cropped the bank picture, so I don't there's
no information for them. I give them the last four
digits because that's common, no problem, and I give them
the date of the transaction. They right back, Uh, we

(56:55):
don't see anything on that date. I don't care if
you see anything that date. You clear malware bites, charged
me a two year subscription rate. Just give me my
money back. Uh, we don't have a record of that.
But you charge me well uh and then they want
me back. Well, we spoke to our our fraud team.
They need the first four digits off your credit card also.

(57:17):
So I said, no way by giving you my force
four when I already gave you my last four because
you already's charged my credit card. There's something wrong here.
Give me back my money. I gave you everything you wanted.
I want my money back. So I called my bank
and I said, can I dispute the charge? By the
way they look on the card to see if the
card was physically charged, I don't know what you mean

(57:40):
by physically charged. If your car was card was did
you mat did you crush? Did you cross check the
transaction on your credit card statement? I don't know what
you're saying. It's a debit card. There is no credit card.
Every time, every time you make a transaction, it appears
on the ledger of your of your card. No, it
appears on the let. In my day, in my bank,

(58:01):
it's on the let says it says it my card.
Because I thought they were trying to scam you out
of money right there. Now, they weren't taking my money.
It was a credit card charge or debit charge to
my college. Legitimate charge. Okay, well it was an illegitimate charge.
Confirmed charge though, Uh yeah, so um uh so. So
I I back and foot back and forth. So my

(58:23):
bank says, will dispute the charge, will investigate it. And
five days later they offered me. They give me a
provisional credit. So they credit me the money, but they said,
we're gonna investigate, and if they say they that they
that you bought the software, we're gonna take back your charge.
So two weeks go by and my I called my
bank and they go, we're still investigating. I go, I

(58:44):
need to know if that money's might or not. What
if I only have like sixty bucks left in my
account and you take back my credit and I overdraft,
like I got to know what the status is in
my money. Well, we haven't heard back from the company yet,
why would you? They give me the fun run around.
So finally malware Bites sends me a survey. How how

(59:05):
what is your thoughts? Are you satisfied or unsatisfied with
the customer service? We'd like to do it quick. So
I do it all right back. I'm very unsatisfied. They
write me back, how can we help you? I go,
look at the thread, look at my case number. I
want my money back. I felt like the guy who
wants it to dollar bill back and like two dollars right, okay,
So I said, Sidy, go, oh, you know what, we

(59:27):
don't handle our credit card transactions. That's a company called
like too Close or to to outlook to someone with
a two on it, right, So we're copying them to
this email chain. So I write it back and I go, hey,
both companies, one of you owes me my money. This
is the story again, look at the look at the
conversation feed. So the other company writes back, thank you

(59:48):
for asking for inquiring, and we can't find any purchase,
but thank you so much, and please fill out a
survey on how you liked our customer service? What what
You didn't give me any customer service. You wrote back
and said, well, we don't see it. Thanks do a survey.
So I sited it again and go. So they wrote back,
we need the first four digit you got a card
and go. That is not gonna fucking happen. You're not

(01:00:10):
getting any more information from me. You got my last
four digits, the data, the transaction and the amount, and
a screenshot from my bank statement. So they wrote back,
and they go, will will, We will continue to investigate.
We'll be back to you in within two days. Today, Scary,
they wrote me back and they said, um, we have
not heard back from you. Therefore we are closing the case.

(01:00:33):
Please fill out a brief survey. What the far? So
I'm saving it all up and Monday morning, I'm voting
all those emails to my bank and they can look
at it and they can suck it. They can suck it.
So fuck you malware bites, fuck you hardcast with body
and scary some sound. I got some sound, you got sound,

(01:00:56):
we got sound? Uh, and then we gotta get out
of here, so go for it. No, you're tell me
what clips are that's you know how we okay? Well,
we have three clips for you. I got the spoiler
What about all the ones from last week? Uh that
he didn't play? Actually we did play them. I lied.
No you didn't. Let me Let me look at me,
let me look at the list. Yes we did. I

(01:01:18):
got Okay, I got the I got I got three
clips for you today, we got you play. Did you play? Oh? Yeah,
you played a spoiler alert? Come on, that's what we're so.
First of all, most people say spoiler alert when they
mean spoiler. Right. Spoiler alert means I'm about to give
you a spoil a spoiler. I'm about to go spoiler

(01:01:39):
alert like turn off your TVs. Joe dies in the movie. Right,
you say spoiler alert first, but people go, oh, that
guy ruined the movie for me. He gave me for
spoiler alerts. No, he gave his spoilers. There's a difference.
But that's not the bitch. But whatever the case is.
When you say spoiler alert and what part of the
story should just say it before you anything? Right? This

(01:02:02):
spoiler alert, what I'm about to say, He's gonna ruin
it for you. This guy is talking about an athlete
at the Major League Baseball Draft, and he's showing a
clip of the guy rounding the bases hitting an inside
the park home run. Listen to the clip. Now here
a few months of video. Does the report for me?
Here's an inside the park homer spoiler alert and he
gets flying around second base spoiler alert. Yeah. Afterwards, after

(01:02:27):
the after he says inside the park homer. So he
gave you the action. You know what happened the conclusion first,
and then he's a spoiler alert. This video is gonna
show you what I'm talking about. He's gonna hit it
inside the park home run spoiler alert. Video does the
report for me. Here's an inside the park homer spoiler alert.
Oh god, idiot, Hey, I'm about to punch you. Hey,

(01:02:49):
I'm a punch in face. Okay, can you play to fungus? Now?
This clip is another example of people not in the
same room and completely in congress. So normally when you
hear commercial like this, the kid will be like, dad,
you're you shouldn't wear socks with sandals and the dad
will go, but honey, I like him. Right, He'll address
the kid. Okay, this is a commercial with toe fungus.

(01:03:12):
Listen to the kid and listen how the father has
nothing to do with the kid. In the commercial, Go ahead,
Oh dad, why are toenails so ugly and yellow? Hey?
It's James. And if you're like me and suffer from
toni el fungus, please take at that. She says, dad,
why are toes so gross and yucky? Whatever? And he says, Hi,

(01:03:32):
this is James, so ugly and yellow? Hey, it's James.
And if you're like me and suffer from toni el fungus, yeah,
you're right. One has nothing. First of all, we don't
know if she's addressing the guy we're talking about. If
he just reminded him to tell say okay, I'm gonna
ignore you and talk about my toe fungus problem to

(01:03:54):
this audience over here, like he totally yeah. The non
sequiturs and right, or is he introducing himsel as James
to his daughter dad, you want you TODs ugly? Hi, honey,
I'm James. That's terrible. Who writes this ship? I don't know.
Play one more time, imagining he's talking to her dad,
why are toails so yellow? Hey it's James. I know

(01:04:20):
your name is you're my father? He also suffers from
a d d Okay, Yellow, Hey, it's James. And if
you're like fun this little bitch, I'm gonna talk to you. Yeah,
five people over here, all right, So before I play

(01:04:40):
this last clip, we're gonna end the podcast on this clip.
It's a it's a little bit long, it's like forty
five seconds. But I was listening with my kids in
the car to TikTok Radio, which is a channel on
Sirius x M that plays songs that are on TikTok. Right,
some of them are some of them are twenty seconds long,
others are three minutes. But the d d j's are

(01:05:01):
like twelve years old. They're not ready to be professional DJs,
but they got kids who must like TikTok and they
have made him DJs. So this guy, you'll hear, he's okay,
he's talking about somebody told him that in a certain
part of the world that when you have house guests,
you don't offer them food. Okay, Then if he found
it strange, Now in America, people come over, you feed them, right, Hey,

(01:05:25):
come on house, I'll give you some snacks, come over
to dinner. His point was that's that he heard something.
But this guy can't put two thoughts together and he's
upset about something, beats it to death and I'm sorry
in advance, but I wanted to share this with you.
I am sorry play this kid talking about this thing,
and let me preface it by saying this. These tracks,

(01:05:49):
these tracks also are They're not live, so it's not
like he fucked up and he had to continue on.
These are what we call voice tracks, so he had
a chance. They record them first and before they placed
them in the playlist for to air on the radio.
He had a chance to rewind it, think about it,
and maybe redo it. But they to There are kids

(01:06:10):
that work at college radio stations, nothing but respects, scary
work to the college radio station, and you sound like
your eighteen nineteen and your co sky gets paid to
be on the radio. Now, look, maybe people listening to
the radio don't know not going over his work. This
is gonna bother the funk out of me because he
could have. Because to me, if I would have recorded

(01:06:30):
that and listen back to it before I inserted into
the playlist for the station to air, I would be like,
that didn't make any sense. But I'm gonna do that
over again. You you achieve you you strive for greatness
and when you're on the tape, Well, we're doing this,
by the way, we were doing this podcast with like
live what's called live to tape. It's not tape, but
the point is stopping and stopping and starting. We're not rethinking,

(01:06:52):
we're just doing it. Okay, so we funk up, we
sunk up. But this dude had a chance. Okay, I
didn't even hear the clip yet. I can't play the clipped.
I'm sorry. Is going crazy right now because apparently in
Swedish culture, like in Sweden, it's not particularly it's kind
of not it's just normal to not feed your guests.

(01:07:13):
Like a lot of Reddit posts blowing up, and people
are posting on fake talk of just like people doing
their experiences and like they're like they would go to
their friend's house and when they eat dinner, they tell
you just like to wait in the room, like they
don't invite you to dinner or or to breakfast. Like
someone else says like, oh, I woke up for breakfast
and I went downstairs and their friend was like, oh,
I'll be right with you. I'm eating breakfast with my family,

(01:07:35):
Like no invite. And then apparently it's like super normal
to um be doing that. So if you're from Sweden,
let me know that's true or not. It's Bill Talk
Radio Breakfast. Oh my god, I think I'm dumber. I'm
dumber for having heard that. Can you just play the
first like ten seconds where he's just trying to get going.
I don't I don't know where to begin with this, Like,

(01:07:57):
what the fun is it? What did he say? You know,
this kind of thing is blown up. It's sort of
blown up. It's kind of it's was blown up on Twitter,
red up, put reddit post on Reddit, everything's blown up.
So play the first just to get the red going
crazy right now, because apparently in Swedish culture, like in Sweden,
it's not particularly it's kind of not it's just normal

(01:08:20):
to not feed your guests, like okay. So so he's
trying on TikTok. It's TikTok blowing up at any point
in the best two weeks. Not blowing up, blowing up
people talking about Swedish culture. No blowing up, blowing it. Yeah,
red and and the Reddit post that he started. First

(01:08:42):
of all, I'm trying to dissect what his point was.
So so he's trying to say that in Swedish culture
it's common to have company and you don't feed them,
or you don't offer them, you don't offer them anything, right,
or sit down to dinner while your guests are in
the living room and you eat dinner and ignore them. Right, Okay, okay,
but what what But that's a three second thing. Hey,

(01:09:04):
it's it's Billy on the radio. I'm hearing. I'm seeing
on social media that if you live in Sweden you
don't feed your guests and you have a meal and
ignore them. That's crazy. You're done is going crazy right
now because apparently in Swedish culture, like in Sweden, it's
not particularly it's kind of not it's just normal to

(01:09:26):
not feed your guests. Like a lot of Reddit posts
blowing up, and people are posting on TikTok of just
like people doing their experiences. I'm like, they're like they
would go to their friend's house and when they eat dinner,
they tell you just like to wait in the room,
like they don't invite you to dinner or to breakfast.
Like someone else says, I will go presis and I
went downstairs and their friend was like, oh, I'll be

(01:09:47):
right with you. I'm eating breakfast with my family, like
no invite, and then apparently it's like super normal to
um be doing that. So if you're from Sweden, let
me know that's true or not. It's me billy radio. Yeah, okay, um,
I guess I get that. I'm gonna say I guess

(01:10:08):
he kept thematically. He kept with the same idea. It
was an interesting idea thing. But yeah, he and he
hadn't It had no ending to him, right. I don't
want to critic he's probably a teenager. The point is
he probably could have articulated that in about even if

(01:10:30):
he wanted to expand on it, maybe twenty seconds. You know,
how would you have done that? David Brodye, I just
did it a minute ago. Are you listening? I said no,
if you're talking about it, if you're being conversational, hey,
it's Brody on the radio. I was on TikTok yesterday
and I saw a couple of videos about people in Sweden.
I didn't know this. If you live in Sweden and

(01:10:52):
you have people over at your house, if you go
to eat dinner, right you have you don't even feed
your guests, You let them sit inside watch television and
you ignore them. We would never do that here in America.
You having a food for everybody, or you don't eat,
you give him some snacks comes into the table. That's weird.
If you know anything about that, give me a call,
Hit me up on hit me up on Twitter. Right,
David Brody, Yeah, that's great. I would say I would.

(01:11:14):
I would. You would say, how did you do it?
I would do something similar. Maybe I would say, you know,
the people in Sweden are a lot, a lot like
David Brodie, cheap bastards. There you go. You know, I
expect the same thing from Brodie. It's almost like Brodie
lives in Sweden. Yeah, that's radio. I'm not I'm Swedi.
I'm Swedish. You know that that clip is hope. That

(01:11:39):
is a that is an inspirational clip. I played why
because if you're a slice and your dream is to
one day be on the radio, that shows you got
a chance. So you're saying there's a chance exactly. Now
listen before we get out as scary, just remember go
to Benjamin Steakhouse dot com slash brook Glum Boys, make

(01:12:00):
your reservation with us for the meet up Boys Rock Brooklyn,
Brooklyn Boys, Rock Brooklyn