#257: A Dog With a Bone Of Its Own

#257: Skeery suspects his brother's dog Butters is racist; The boys finally talk to Tall Darren about how he remedied his dog's erection problem- the answer will shock you; Brody got a stroke of good luck for a change from a bakery who saved his ass from embarrassment and disappointment from his family; Skeery saves pool bracelets and room keys for future use to crash fancy hotel pools- and got to use one last week in Miami.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Start Up, dot Up, start Up, Brooklyn Boys, start Up,
Brooklyn Buys, start up, dodd Up. They making noise, dot up,
start up, Da Dada dot up.

Speaker 2 (00:15):
Episode to fifty seven. It's the Brooklyn Boys podcast.

Speaker 3 (00:21):
Fifty seven reminds me of Hines, which reminds me of Ketchup.

Speaker 2 (00:24):
So I'm enjoying this episode. Alright, that's right, it's the
ketchup episode. Now do you believe in that old myth,
by the way, where you if you hit the fifty
seven on the bottle, then it comes out better the catchup,
because we a lot of times.

Speaker 3 (00:37):
That commits ketchup, ketchup? What are you thinking when you
flip the.

Speaker 2 (00:40):
Bottle of the hind the old school bottles of ketchup,
the ones that are glass bottles. Yeah, and you shake
it up and down, and you shake it, shake it,
shake it, and you try and get the ketchup out
of it. You know that it's hard to get the
ketchup out. Sometimes you need to put a butter knife
in there to let it slide out. If they say
you know this, we've we've grew up with this that
if you if you literally punched to fifty seven, it's

(01:03):
gonna go plea and it's gonna come out, is that right?
I don't know. I used squeeze bottles now, so who knows.
I know. But but back in the days of the glass,
I don't.

Speaker 3 (01:12):
I think that was just a good spot on the
bottle maybe to hit it like sort of in the middle.

Speaker 2 (01:16):
It's like a sweet something. It's what it's a G
spot fifty seven, the G spot or the case the
case spot, the case spot. I sometimes do get a
big O from a nice fresh bottle of ketchup. You
love your ketchup, but you never liked cats up C
A T S U F C.

Speaker 3 (01:32):
No, because it wasn't Heines. It was because Heines had
a trademark on the word ketchup. But you couldn't use
the word ketchup. That's since expired, right.

Speaker 2 (01:41):
It's expired. You know what else?

Speaker 3 (01:43):
Speaking of which, do you know the the Taco Johns.
I've never heard of Taco John's, but they are I
guess a big taco chain. Right now, there's people listening
going I go to Taco John's. I don't know where
they are in the country, don't really care. They're not
in New York West coast.

Speaker 2 (01:57):
Well, well like that like somewhere in the Sacific Northwest,
in places like that. Okay, so Taco john is the inventor.
I know that you're gonna say of Taco Tuesday, that
is correct. They used to have a deal for two
tacos for two dollars approximately, and they called it two Tuesday, right,
they spelled it differently, and they have a trademark for

(02:21):
Taco Tuesday. Now, if you want to.

Speaker 3 (02:24):
Go on the air and say it's taco I'm having
tacos for it's Taco Tuesday, it's fine. But you can't
be a taco chain right and have a taco taco bell,
for instance, they didn't. Taco bell is now suing saying
it's such a commonplace expression, it's such part of the
nomenclature of American culture that everybody uses it that it's

(02:44):
no longer.

Speaker 2 (02:45):
A unique thing. Ah bullshit. I'm sorry. I'm airing on
the side of Taco John's on this one. They were
clever enough to make the phrase, invent it, coin it,
and then copyright it, and that trademark be right, should
be honored in its entirety. And just because the big
bed Taco Bell chain, which is probably one hundred times

(03:09):
its size, a big behemoth of a Takaria comes along.
I don't think that they should have the right to
swipe the name or to make it all of a
sudden everybody can use it now.

Speaker 3 (03:23):
Well, I don't know, man, I agree with you, But legally,
if something becomes no longer associated with your brand, it's
so common, the law says that anyone can use it.

Speaker 2 (03:33):
That's the way it works. So in this case, who's
to say they might win? But no, who's to say
the Taco Johns that it's not working for them and
it's it's not relevant. We don't live near Taco John's
to know the answer to that question, but they may.
Really what if they sink or swim by their Taco
Tuesday promotion?

Speaker 3 (03:52):
That's irrelevant though the term is now part of everybody's
common spoken word, and then it no longer has associateation
with their brand. In other words, when you hear when
you hear iPad, you think of Apple, right, you can't
have another iPad right?

Speaker 2 (04:07):
Right?

Speaker 3 (04:07):
Well, when you think of Taco Tuesday, nobody thinks of
Taco Johns because you just sell it's Taco Tuesday and
have tacos.

Speaker 2 (04:13):
It's Tuesday there's not enough Taco Johns in the country.
If Taco Johns was scale it up to the United
States all around.

Speaker 3 (04:20):
It's irrelevant. People call it Taco Tuesdays because of it's Tuesday.
It's a great name. I'm just saying legally, if Taco
Bell can prove it's commonplace that everybody just says it now,
then they're gonna say, welly can't we just say right?

Speaker 2 (04:33):
Well, they're challenging it, of course, because right now it is.
They can't use it because Taco Johns went ahead and
coined the phrase and copyrighted it, so right for them.

Speaker 3 (04:43):
Yeah, well, we'll see what happens. I'd like to the
ketchup thing reminded me.

Speaker 2 (04:48):
Taco john Taco. That'll be nice. So I had my
family over from Mother's Day. Oh at the at the
didja have them mowlling your little.

Speaker 3 (04:59):
Dinet, the one with the stack of papers? Yeah, I'm
still there by the way I'm looking. If you haven't
seen it, it was in my instant story on and
I think I saved it. If you go to the
was the highlight section of my Instagram page at David
Brody in the Brooklyn Boys videos. I think I saved
it scaries bad parking job and his stack of unsightly
papers which hasn't moved.

Speaker 2 (05:21):
I love how it's a highlight of your life. My
stack of papers is a highlight. Well, yeah, it's the
highlight of our show. It's not the highlight of my life.
If you notice in the background there you could see
it brody. No one else can. Nothing has moved. There
has been no paper added, nor shredded or thrown away
or put away that nothing I've accomplished zero. In fact,

(05:43):
if I was to lift up the stack, there would
be an outline of dust around it. So yeah, it's
it's just sitting there. But yeah, so no room at
the dynette because the papers are in the way. So
I had my family up in the wreck room.

Speaker 3 (05:59):
Now you have to understand it's not your apartment, this
is in your building.

Speaker 2 (06:03):
There's a room you could rent. Yeah, you know where
Sam's husband, William was giving me those rubdowns in the
sauna and the steam room. Yes, we were doing that
and he was working me out. Sure. Classic Well on
that level is a gym, a sauna, a steam room,
a conference room, a kitchen, and a main lounge with

(06:25):
an outdoor patio and wrap around deck. It's pretty much
the rooftop of my building. So for Mother's Day, because
I have no room here in my apartment because of
the stack of papers, right, I reserved the wreck room
and main lounge and the whole floor pretty much for
a party. Now you're allowed to do that. You put

(06:45):
down some money, you also secure it, back it up
on a security deposit so you don't wreck the joint,
and you could do whatever the hell you want with
the place. And so I had a reserved on Mother's
Day from one to seven pm, which is great, awesome,
good times. I had my catering come in, I had
you know, my family. The kids were running around.

Speaker 3 (07:03):
Now now this did this make up for the fact
that you have not given your mother any grandchildren?

Speaker 2 (07:07):
Now are you even please? Anyway? So it was so
much fun that you know, well, okay, let me back
up a second. The kids were in the kids playroom.
That's a public area. Can't block that off. Then there's
the outdoor deck, which again public area, can't block that off.
But the party was you know, no one was coming

(07:30):
into the kitchen or the main lounge ropes. Now, my brother,
my brother has a dog, Butters. Butters is a Corgie. Butters,
he's the human vacuum cleaner, and he makes no noise.
I've known this dog for eight years. Every family holiday,
every time we're hanging out, even when guests show up,

(07:51):
companies coming, you know, the dog is like, oh well,
just walk to the door and just sniff around a little.

Speaker 3 (07:57):
You've known this dog eight years, and you know him
so well you've actually thought about petting him once or twice.

Speaker 2 (08:02):
Oh, I've pet him, Corey, I listen, Butters is the man.
I love Butters. How when you when you pet Butters,
how do you talk to him? You talk to him?
You just pat him? Is a Collagie, he's know, he's
a Corgie.

Speaker 3 (08:15):
Oh okay, so tell me how you pet him, says
Corki is in front of you, Butters is in front
of you.

Speaker 2 (08:20):
Talks the dog. How you doing? You a good dog? Yeah? Yeah,
you want to treat Butters? Want to treat like that
kind of ship? Okay? Is that okay? Is it how
you talk to your your dog? Moots?

Speaker 3 (08:35):
Moots, I talked to Musi that way I talked to him.

Speaker 2 (08:39):
You talk to Percy, Percy, Percy, You're gonna do that.
Who's a good dog, good dog, Drew and Mutzi, you're
sleeping on the windows coming anyway. So yeah, so with them.
So I've known him to be a very quiet dog,
very docile. Even my mom, who hates dogs. It's like,

(09:01):
it's just a pleasure having having Butters around. Okay, now
fast forward to my party the other day. Well, all
of a sudden, all of a sudden, Butters gets ferocious
and it Scott starts going right right, right, right, right right,
and I'm like, what the fuck what this dog barks?
I didn't know what we ever made a sound. I
didn't know what the dog sounded like. Starts running over

(09:24):
because two Indian guys come off the elevator and onto
the patio for where the party was, because they have
Is that important to the story, by the way, Yes, okay,
So the guys were outside and they had have a
right to be coming outside to the you know, our party,
because that is a common area. Well, the dog was

(09:45):
barking uncontrollably, and my brother had to like, you know,
distract him, give him a treat, whatever, saying, Butters down, Butters, stop, whatever,
give it. Butters is a racist, but we have a
racist dog. You think the dog was barking because they're Indian. Absolutely,
And by the way, do you know for a fact

(10:06):
they were Indian? They could have been. No, they could
have been. They were of Indian descent, they were of
Asian descent, Southeast Day Southeast Asian descent. They could have
been Pakistani, they could have been. It doesn't matter. I
think Indian because I'm going Indian because my there's a
big Indian population in my I'm playing the numbers here,
playing the other numbers. But that doesn't matter. They were brown,

(10:29):
and I.

Speaker 3 (10:30):
Think that was scary Jones. By the way, what so
I'm saying, you're allowed to say that, Well, Butters is
not down with the brown apparently. You know how I
know this because rewind to the Christmas.

Speaker 2 (10:44):
Holiday and Thanksgiving when we're at my parents' house and
we're wherever. Whenever someone one of my friends, my white boyfriends,
walk in the door, Butters doesn't do anything. Butters never marks.
So Butters did not like these two Indian guys.

Speaker 3 (10:59):
Wait a minut, Wait a minute, how many people of
color do you have your house gathering?

Speaker 2 (11:05):
That's the point, that's why you have no sample size.

Speaker 3 (11:08):
It's not like It's not like if you said to me,
you have you have two guys in your group that
are black, one guy lost less Less is the best,
Less is the.

Speaker 2 (11:15):
Best, Lessons never Less has never met. Uh Butters, Okay,
then you can't go by anything.

Speaker 3 (11:20):
If you said to me, when I bring all my
friends over and less than one of them.

Speaker 2 (11:25):
Shows up, when baldfreak Ronnie comes through the door, my
boy j smoller, all my friends from Brooklyn. But you
can come in and been around.

Speaker 3 (11:33):
But maybe it's just these two guys he was barking
at because they're strangers, and he's defensive in an area
he's not familiar with. He's defensive about strangers. There's not
about this skin. Colored dogs are color blind.

Speaker 2 (11:44):
I think I think I think he's racist. I think Butters.
I told my brother, I said, dude, you got to
racist dog on your hands. You're laughing now.

Speaker 3 (11:53):
If it was a German shepherd, I could see it,
you know, maybe, but that's no.

Speaker 2 (11:56):
But okay. So I'm I'm just by the fact that
every time Butters meets a new friend or of ours,
the dog, he doesn't do anything. He'll just what colors
the dog. It's a he's orange and white orange, well
yeah whatever, brown and white, yeah.

Speaker 3 (12:17):
Okay, so he's a self loathing dog. I'm just saying,
I think I think that these were shifty people. Maybe no,
they're not. They were two guys. They were my neighbors.
These guys are awesome.

Speaker 2 (12:33):
Yeah yeah, other names. No, I don't, but it doesn't.

Speaker 4 (12:37):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (12:38):
All my neighbors is two hundred and eighty five apartments
in my buildings. But these guys are awesome. You think
you say hello, Well, they were cool. They were just
you know, they're just like everyday neighbors that I see
on the elevator and in the lobby and whatever. I'm
just saying, I think I can a dog be racist?

Speaker 4 (12:53):
Is that?

Speaker 2 (12:53):
First of all? Is that a question? That's a question.
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (12:57):
Maybe there's aromas that maybe these guys smell differently than you,
not because they're Indian. You just may have given off
a scent that he didn't like. I don't think he
looked at them and went off to South Asian to say,
I know.

Speaker 2 (13:08):
I don't think so. And it was were the only minorities.
Of course, it's your family. There were no other the minorities. Again,
nobody else walked in during that time, so then you
can't maybe see again, what if a white person walked
he would have barked at them too. You should, but
he doesn't do it at my parents' house. He knows
everybody when my friends walk into my parents' house, because
they assume your parents let them in, they must be cool.

(13:30):
You took them to the rooftop.

Speaker 3 (13:32):
Now I think it's I think you're you're imagining. I
think you didn't like them, so you assume the dog
doesn't like him for the same I called up that
merity yourself.

Speaker 2 (13:40):
I just don't understand why you think you need a
bigger sample size. You need to have a parade of
people walking through of all shapes and sizes and commogies.

Speaker 3 (13:47):
You can't say he doesn't like minorities. If he barked
at the only two strangers at the party, that's all.

Speaker 2 (13:54):
You gotta have another white stranger or a couple O
the wak I can control group like this is a
it's excuse me, right. It's like if you if you
if you take a bottle of water and you drink
it and you go, oh, that's bad water.

Speaker 3 (14:07):
You can't say all water is bad. You have to
have all the bottles of water. Okay, you know whether
it's white milk and chocolate milk.

Speaker 2 (14:15):
And I'm only saying white milk for the point of
this conversation. I don't mean white milk milk. But you can't.

Speaker 3 (14:20):
You can't have only two Indian people and say, I
don't know, I have to meet this dog. Maybe it
doesn't like Jews. You definitely had no Jews at the
party either. How would he know when was the last
time your parents had a Jew in the house?

Speaker 2 (14:31):
Exactly? They're friends with Jewish people, Yes, yeah, yes, right,
Derek Countans during tax season and Brodie, uh.

Speaker 3 (14:43):
I want I want you to tell me if I
should be worried. Oh boy, I got an email from
someone I don't recognize and it says you are the
letter you are? You are webcam Onanism was so repulsive
that I almost had the turn my head. In case
I discovered the depths of your repugnant nature. As someone

(15:05):
near to you, I would halt greeting the letter you
what the gaining entry to you our devices is quite effortless.
It's essential to take action concerning your Internet safety by
accomplishing the requirements dash Cooin within three days after pursuing
the letter, you can sustain a positive image in the

(15:28):
eyes of your loved ones. Your visual displaying you are
interest shall be forwarded to all your contacts. Yeah, don't
test me. I'll delete the email for security reasons.

Speaker 2 (15:39):
Right. So, what he's gonna do is he's gonna if
you don't pay with the bitcoin within the time if
it expires, he's gonna he's gonna send He's gonna send
uh pictures of you jerking off to the entire my webcam,
your your webcam pictures and video because you know, you
know you you whack it in front of a webcam. Yes,

(16:01):
what you do.

Speaker 3 (16:02):
That's why I have duct tape to put over the webcam.
But so I shouldn't be worried, is what you're saying.

Speaker 2 (16:06):
Well, if you take those words and highlight them and
put them in a Google search engine, you'll see thousands
and thousands of that come up under a scam, A
popular that is a popular scam to get you. I
heard that specific one makes millions and millions of dollars,
that specific one. And and Brody, if you remember, might
have been on a previous episode several years back that

(16:30):
happened to me, And it was when that was a
new scam, and I actually went to one of the
engineers at the radio station, like, hey, what is this?
Where is this from? And I believe it was you,
Brody who told me to put the words in the
search engine and see what happens. It was you who
relieved me, if you know what I'm saying. So here's

(16:50):
what not on camera.

Speaker 3 (16:52):
If somebody said to you, were you on Fourteenth Street
on Thursday and did you punch a woman? Would you say,
oh my god, I've never punched a woman? Or would
you go Thursday? What was they doing Thursday?

Speaker 4 (17:04):
Right?

Speaker 3 (17:05):
What was your response if you told the cops I
don't never hit a woman in my life, right, you
wouldn't start thinking about what you were doing Thursday because
you're like, was I.

Speaker 2 (17:14):
In that area on Thursday? Did I hit a woman?

Speaker 3 (17:16):
You would say I don't even care when I've never
hit a woman. If somebody sends you an email scary,
whether it's a scam or not, and they say they
have your webcam footage of you doing disgusting things, your
first response was to go to the engineers at the
radio station to see if someone could actually access your webcam.
Instead of saying this can't be real. I don't whack
it in front of a webcam, you just admitted to

(17:37):
all of the slices that.

Speaker 2 (17:39):
You do whack it in front of a webcam. And
that's why that is not true. It is not true
because you would have said this fake immediately. Okay, So
I guess in the format that they sent me back
in the day, and this was several years ago. Yeah,
you as in your own deal. No, no, no, not, Uh.

Speaker 3 (18:00):
What I'm what we would tell you is, sir, did
you go to shop write and steal one hundred dollars
worth of steaks on Wednesday? Well, let me think I
think I was at the dentist on Wednesday. No, you go,
I don't steal.

Speaker 2 (18:12):
I see where you're coming from. No, I said they
saw where you were coming from. I set you up
for that one, and you know it. All I'm gonna
say is this, Okay, why did you Why was if
they could do it? Because no, No, what I was
was I what I was concerned with was at that time,
I was still doing my speaking Volumes podcast on video.

(18:33):
I was I was doing that back since two thousand
and what are you a shared of doing that you're
worried about. No, it's like before we get going, you
know how the two of us we talk a little
bit on camera before we we go. Same thing with chair,
and sometimes there's some ship talking that goes on it.
It's not so much about pornography as it is about
maybe I've said some things, you know, on camera that

(18:57):
I don't want people hearing. You know, It's more about
my language or something, or maybe I said something off color,
or we were joking around, because we have that kind
of relationship where we you know, you know whatever, and
and you know we always share each other.

Speaker 3 (19:10):
What is it you think you said to share that
would be repugnant nature?

Speaker 2 (19:14):
As someone near to you, I would halt greeting you now.
I the only reason why I went to the engineers
was because I wanted to make for shit sure that
this was indeed a scam and that there's no way
they could have any footage or audio of.

Speaker 3 (19:30):
Anything, because you doing something that was so repulsive that
I almost had to turn my head that that's the
kind of thing you.

Speaker 2 (19:37):
I want to see footage of what you were talking.
I love I love by the way I love the
the the poor attempt at English. Yes, the way the
sentence structure. Someone tried to use Google Translate and it
or an app that was a ripoff of it, because
that doesn't translate perfectly at all.

Speaker 3 (19:56):
Not even close, not even close. But but thanks for confessing
on your end.

Speaker 2 (20:02):
That's great. I didn't confess to ship. And by the way, yeah,
I think yeah, I think it's safe to say you're
you're okay, okay, good, all right, I'll tell you what
I did do. Oh if it's gross, I don't want
to know. Well, no, I you know, this is just
a little throwaway if you live in Morris County or
if you live in Short Hills, New Jersey, New Jersey.

(20:25):
I was my My feature is out and your name
is dropped in it prominently in the article feature And
is it David Brody?

Speaker 4 (20:34):
I hope.

Speaker 2 (20:35):
I'm the cover of of two magazines and it was
just released today. I'm really excited about this. Oujie Holmes
and Gardens. It's it's a bougie magazine.

Speaker 3 (20:44):
Yeah, it's Short Hills are Well, No, it's called.

Speaker 2 (20:49):
Apparently they drop I'm gonna hold us up to the camera. Brody.
You could see him a little bit there to the
two magazine covers. Yep, I'm on the cover of both magazines.
You're stretching on one of them. That's me in the
iHeart hallway on and then and then this is the
other one is me at the in the studio. So yeah,
I made the cover of both for Morris and Chathman

(21:10):
Short Hills. Uh, three areas you're not from. It's City
Lifestyle magazine. And I just want to shout out to
Anna Meyer, who is in charge of the magazine publisher
and all that.

Speaker 4 (21:25):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (21:25):
Three months ago, they came over to the radio station,
they did a whole photo shoot with me, and and
then they decide they took a whole an hour to
do an article on me. I said, but I live
in Jersey City in an apartment. What the hell do
I have to do with haughty h A U T E. Lifestyle?
Because these magazines get dropped on like doorsteps of where

(21:48):
the servants come get them five exactly five million dollar houses,
and I'm like, and then and then other places as well.
It will be available online next week for the entire
country to see. It's nationwide. But she's said to me, look,
you have a great story. You live in New Jersey
and a lot of times we have people on the
cover and people we do story. That doesn't mean they

(22:11):
live in New Jersey or they had that lifestyle, but
they but we want we find them interesting, and we
find you interesting. I'm like, that's awesome. I think the
last person who just called you out of nowhere? Who did?
I can't believe it's not butter commercials in the nineties.
A lot of people I don't know who was like
the famous anyway, he was on the cover a couple
of a couple of months ago where it worked for

(22:33):
his career. Don't remember who it is exactly anyway, So
we'll look be on the lookout for that. It's city lifestyle.
But anyway, I'm kind of excited about it because I've
never been on the cover of magazine. Oh well, that's
very good. How did they get out and get in
touch with you? I was out in both magazines. I
was out at an event in Short Hills for the
grand opening that that was the that was the night

(22:55):
that you were supposed to join me at that store,
the grand opening of that store. Oh my car accident night?

Speaker 1 (22:59):
Ye?

Speaker 2 (23:00):
Yeah, that like you like you'd like to forget the
woman was there reporting on the opening of this, uh
this shade store, and she's like, oh my god, it's scary.
I've listened to you my whole life and all this
and how was that? So I'm the King of New York.
We talked about that, and as the woman.

Speaker 3 (23:22):
Does the woman work for a publishing company that owns
numerous magazines.

Speaker 2 (23:25):
Yes, oh okay, so they double dipped you. I got you. Yeah,
very nice, So tell tell us slices.

Speaker 3 (23:31):
There really important part of the story where you mentioned me,
because I'm a kid from benson Hurst, Brooklyn who made
it rain.

Speaker 2 (23:39):
I mentioned, I mentioned the podcast, and that I plugged
our podcast. That's what I did. So there, that's all
more more about you said you mentioned me, Well, yeah,
I mentioned my podcast partner, David Brody. You know, yeah,
you're in there. I made a quote about you. Yeah,
what what I mean? I wish I wanted. I was

(24:02):
trying to angle it to do an article about the
Brooklyn Boys, but in a magazine about New Jersey that
was not going to fly. So I tried.

Speaker 3 (24:10):
Yeah, but most of the places we talk about are
in New Jersey. That's relatable. It is, it is, it
is in fact, I'm going to talk about a New
Jersey bakery. When you give me a chance, go for it.
There's a place in South Orange, New Jersey that I
have to that many years ago my family fell in
love with. It's a bakery right near the train station
called Kate and Abbey's c a kateen Abbey's.

Speaker 2 (24:32):
If you're from that area, and I'm not, but I've
heard of it.

Speaker 3 (24:37):
My kids heard about it and they drive there on
occasion and they love the cookies. Well, my daughter was
coming home from college and her birthday was last weekend
and I was given an assignment on Friday. She's coming
home from school, right it's her birthday. My wife says
to me, all she wants is cookies from Kate and Abbey.

(24:59):
So while I'm at work, since you're not at work
at the moment, please go pick up the cookies. This
is what she wants. Just go pick out the cookies.
And my daughter texts me the day before and says,
I'm excited. I'm getting the cookies for my birthday.

Speaker 4 (25:15):
Thank you.

Speaker 2 (25:16):
These are the ones I want. Here's a picture.

Speaker 3 (25:19):
Okay, great, put it in my phone. Get to Kate Abbey's.
You know, at some point on Fridays. So I go
to the store. I get there at three ten because
I had to go look around for a parking space.
It's near the train station, very busy. I get the
space and I go up to the door and then
closed lights are off. They're done. I look at the sign.

(25:42):
It says we're open until three pm.

Speaker 2 (25:45):
Now is it my.

Speaker 3 (25:46):
Fault that they closed at three pm? And I didn't
know it, Yes, it's my fault. No one will blame
but me. I looked up to the skies and I
went no. Because I had promised my daughter one thing.
It's all she wondered forever.

Speaker 2 (26:03):
Kate and Nabby's cookies. Kate and Nabby's cookies.

Speaker 3 (26:06):
And she was coming home in a few hours and
we're all meeting at a restaurant for dinner, and I
was supposed to come with the box of cookies.

Speaker 2 (26:13):
Scary.

Speaker 3 (26:14):
Every thought in my head raced through my brain, and
I thought, well, maybe there's someone in the area that
sells these cookies. You know, sometimes you're like, you're like, oh,
we feature Kate Nabby's cookies.

Speaker 2 (26:25):
Yeah. So I start.

Speaker 3 (26:28):
Googling, like, who else sells their cookies? Where can I
get these cookies. What am I gonna do? They don't
open un till seven am the next morning. I got
to cushoup cookies tonight. And at this point it's three fifteen,
three twenty now, and I'm panicking in front of the bakery.
And I got to meet my my family for dinner
in a few hours. I'm like, oh my god. So
I call my daughter on the phone, she's driving home
from college, and I said, listen, you know I love you.

Speaker 2 (26:49):
You know, hope, you know that.

Speaker 3 (26:51):
I don't have the cookies. You're prime of the pump
for the prime and the pumps for the big let down.
So she was very disappointed and not happy.

Speaker 2 (26:57):
Race called. I called my wife at work and I said, hey, listen,
I closed. Oh I got shit, and I deservedly, So
I deserve the shit. So I go on Instagram and
I DM the company just as me, not as you know,
anybody who used to be in radio. And I said, listen,

(27:19):
do you guys sell your cookies anywhere? Here's the story.
I don't know what to do.

Speaker 3 (27:23):
I'm having dinner with my family at seven o'clock tonight,
and I don't know what I ought to do. Nothing,
I don't hearing anything back, I'm done, So I like,
fuck it. So I rushed to the restaurant. I get
a parking space. At seven o'clock, my wife texts me
and says, your daughter's running late because she hit traffic.
She just got in she got to do makeup and hair.

(27:45):
We're probably looking at seven point thirty. So I'm like, oh,
I got a half hour. I'm got to sit in
this parking space. I'm looking on my phone. I'm like,
what am I doing? I'll just say to look at
my phone. I look at Instagram. They wrote me back.
They said, we live twenty five minutes from the Baker.
We will come there right now and reopen the store
at seven p thirty.

Speaker 2 (28:04):
Shut up. If you will come right now, shut up.
So I said, yes, I'm coming right now. I'm leaving
right now.

Speaker 3 (28:11):
Here's my phone number. I'm coming right now. So I
get I'm sitting in the car. So I leave the
parking space and I and I drive multiple towns over
and I get there before she got there, and sure enough,
at like seven thirty five. So my wife texts me
and says, we're probably seven thirty right. So I get
there at seven twenty seven seven fifteen, and it's I'm

(28:35):
like fifteen minutes away from the restaurant. So I'm like,
if she gets here on time, I grabbed the cookies.

Speaker 2 (28:39):
I run.

Speaker 3 (28:41):
She shows up with her daughter, the owner's daughter and
her daughter show up, very nice woman named Gabby. She says, oh,
how are you nice to meet you? And she opens
the store up and she turns the lights on and
the register stops.

Speaker 2 (28:54):
She gives me, she gives me the cookies. I paid
for the cookies.

Speaker 3 (28:56):
I gave her at little cash taste a little thank
you note, which she was very appreciative of it. She's like,
you don't to do that, Like, who does That's scary?
Nobody does that. So I get to cookies. I like,
I fly back.

Speaker 2 (29:09):
To the restaurant.

Speaker 3 (29:09):
I get back to the restaurant at seven thirty five,
So I text my wife, I'm running a couple of
minutes late, but it's for a good reason.

Speaker 2 (29:15):
So I'm like, they're.

Speaker 3 (29:16):
Gonna get there at seven thirty. I'm gonaet this some there.
She text me and says, we're running late. We're looking
at like closer to like seven fifty eight o'clock. So
not only did I get the cookies. But now I'm early.

Speaker 2 (29:25):
I thought it was light. So shout out to Kate's, C. A. T.
And Abby Neither woe. Neither owner is Kate or Abbey.
Those were all old owners.

Speaker 3 (29:34):
But the women, the people who owned the place, came
back four and a half hours after they closed to
open the bakery so they could get me cookies for
my daughter's birthday.

Speaker 2 (29:44):
God bless and delicious cookies.

Speaker 3 (29:46):
So if you're in the area South Orange, New Jersey,
which is not that far Myry's bougie neighborhoods. My brother
lives in South Orange, I'm gonnaell him to go to
Kate and Abbey's. These are the businesses even support. And
again they had no clue where I used to work.
Oh you know that, I whatever. They were just like, oh,
you're a customer. We want to make your daughter happy
and we will come back. So there are good people

(30:06):
in the world. It was the blue check mark, wasn't it. Yes,
probably boys podcast we will be right back.

Speaker 2 (30:16):
I'm telling you that that blue check more on Instagram, Like, no,
he must be somebody He's gonna check on my.

Speaker 3 (30:24):
Profile and seeing where I used to work. No, it
wasn't the blue check.

Speaker 2 (30:27):
How they were so willing to do that. That is awesome.
Oh my god, it warms the cockles of my heart.
My cockles will Yeah.

Speaker 3 (30:35):
By the way, if you're gonna warm your cockles, don't
do it in front of your webcam.

Speaker 2 (30:41):
Hey.

Speaker 3 (30:41):
Oh, my buddy told Darren. Oh three, that's the saga
I've told Darren. Okay, you available this in England. He
can't come on the phone, you avail.

Speaker 2 (30:53):
Uh Okay, Remember this is the guy, this is my
friend told Darren who had that story dog penis problem. Yeah,
he was going to tell the story, which I oh,
didn't we tell the story? We did? We tell the story?
I think we did. I don't think we need told
Dan anymore.

Speaker 4 (31:09):
I don't know.

Speaker 5 (31:12):
Oh, hey, tall Darren, how are you?

Speaker 3 (31:19):
You're on the Brooklyn Boys podcast. I love that you
call him that on the phone. Hey Darren, it said's
David Brody.

Speaker 2 (31:26):
How are you.

Speaker 4 (31:28):
Good? How are you?

Speaker 3 (31:29):
But you ever wake up in the morning and just
wish you were Darren at this point?

Speaker 4 (31:35):
The funny thing is I do.

Speaker 2 (31:38):
Yeah. But was there ever a short Darren in the
mix in the group? No? I don't think he was
always just told Darren he was I don't know why.
He always was You'll always do it forever.

Speaker 3 (31:52):
The median who died he was in the movie Punchline
named dom I Irera, and he used to do a
bit about his neighborhood. There was Big Pete, Little Pete,
fat Pett. There are too many pets in the neighborhood,
so they nicknames everybody. But you're just told Darren. I
feel like that's I don't know if it's offensive. It's
sort of like you have other traits, Darren, I've met you.
There's other good things to say about you.

Speaker 4 (32:12):
I know. Apparently that's the only thing people remember.

Speaker 3 (32:15):
I mean, it's not like you're six sixty six. How
tall are you, Darren?

Speaker 4 (32:20):
I'm six eight?

Speaker 2 (32:21):
Yeah, he's so yeah, that's why he earns the title.
So it is six five or six hours ahead right now,
because you're in London, right how many hours ahead of us?

Speaker 4 (32:33):
I am? I'm five hours ahead of you? All.

Speaker 3 (32:35):
Well, Darren, can you settle this for people listening? London
is a city, not a country.

Speaker 4 (32:41):
Correct, It is a city.

Speaker 3 (32:45):
The reason I bring this up I constantly see on
social media people saying like, oh, what country are from?
You sound like you're from London, right, are they like
what you're from?

Speaker 4 (32:53):
Law?

Speaker 3 (32:53):
What they assume that London is a country because they
can't name any other place in England and people can't
figure out the England and uh and the great Britain
thing in the UK. Have you figured it all out?

Speaker 4 (33:05):
Now?

Speaker 2 (33:05):
As an American, are you good?

Speaker 4 (33:08):
Well? You know, I think I'm good. But then when
I'm in America, which everybody here calls it America, so
not everybody in America calls it America. Right, we call
the US here. Everybody refers to it as America. But
when I'm in America and I talk like I'm talking
to you all, I.

Speaker 2 (33:22):
Can't you can't what you can't keep the connection from? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (33:28):
We lost you half your sentence. Yeah, when you're in America.
When you're in America, you.

Speaker 2 (33:31):
Can't want.

Speaker 4 (33:34):
When I'm in American and I talk like I'm talking
to you all now, after about ten minutes, inevitably somebody
will ask me what part of the UK or what
part of England are you from? Because I love your
accent and I'm looking around like what are you talking about?
Apparently I talk with a British accent.

Speaker 2 (33:52):
Is from here and moved to the to the UK.
So yeah, so but but uh yeah you forever before. Yeah,
a question, Darren.

Speaker 3 (34:00):
You said, people in in the UK call our country America,
and we call it the US. Except I've never heard
anyone refer to this country as the US, except if
on television, if they're saying the US economy is up
or down. This is America. We say America. Don't in
England or in the UK, they don't. Don't they refer
to US as the US or the States?

Speaker 4 (34:22):
They said, they say the boat.

Speaker 2 (34:24):
Okay, okay, so this is America, Merca America. So anyway,
so so so toll Darren. He has a dog and
and now who was it? That was Dougs. This is
a non visual podcast. He can just be Darren for now. Okay, Darren,
you have a dog. You you're someone was babysitting your

(34:45):
dog or dog sitting. Now Brody can relate. I don't
know if Brody can relate to what happened to your dog.
But explain what happened. You were away on vacation. We'll
take it from there, and you get a phone call.

Speaker 4 (35:00):
Yeah, so I'm on vacation in Spain on the beach,
and I left my dog with our I know, I
left my dog with our cousin or my wife's cousin,
who is British. So the dog stays here in London
and we're in Spain on the beach. And about three
days in I'm sitting on the beach drinking and trying
my day and I get a text or a or

(35:24):
a message with a photo and I'm looking at the
photo and I'm like, what is this that I'm looking at.
It's like unlike anything I've ever seen. I show it
to my wife and she's like, I don't know what
that is. And I'm looking at it, and then I
see the rest of the text. It's from the person
watching our dog, and she goes, we have a problem.

(35:47):
Now I'm sitting there going what is the A? What
is the problem? And B? What is this photo? Because
I don't know either. So it turns out I'm looking
at it and she says that the dog's penis will
not retract it sticking.

Speaker 2 (36:00):
Out that came on.

Speaker 4 (36:08):
So now I'm like, you sent me a doggy dick pick?
Who does that? I'm looking at it now, I see
it right, It's like an abstract picture, but when you
see it, you can't unsee it. So I'm looking at
my dog eth Dick.

Speaker 2 (36:26):
Now, now this was an ongoing problem because apparently it
hadn't retracted in a long time. Right, how long was
it the time? Not the penis.

Speaker 4 (36:41):
About four hours?

Speaker 2 (36:43):
Four hours? Now, Brody, has that ever happened to any
of your animals? Not unless I get them drunk first.
So what was the remedy that needed to happen? And
did you pay extra to your cousin for watching your
dog after that weekend ended because of what he had
to do because of the advice he was given. Why

(37:05):
don't you explain that part of the story.

Speaker 4 (37:10):
So I called her up and I said what's going on?
And she said, well, I probably should take him to
the vet. And I'm like, okay, that's fine, go do that.
And then you know, everything was fine. But then when
I came back to London, we had lunch with her
and her husband and we had got the dog back,

(37:30):
and then she proceeded to tell me what transpired before
she ever got to the vet. She because that happened
before she ever called me, before she got to the vet.
She took matters into her own hands and became literally
vet herself. Literally, she said. And this I didn't know
until later. She said, Well, I tried to, you know,

(37:51):
I put you know, vasilin on my hand and I
went in to try to lubricate the area. And I'm
sitting there and I almost spit out in my beer
and go, I don't think this is going to help
the situation. If anything, it's going to exacerbates.

Speaker 5 (38:12):
It became a a larger problem. So it got larger,
exactly so, so his cousin had to imagine, Cousin, this, what,
how big is the dog?

Speaker 4 (38:28):
Oh, it's not very big. It's a so it's relatively small.

Speaker 2 (38:32):
But imagine that. Imagine that. The cousin immediately thought, well,
I gotta, I gotta. You know, the only way this
is just the pictures are scary, would have helped. The
only way this is gonna go down is if I,
you know, to help it, help it along. I mean,
did she google it? What do you do?

Speaker 4 (38:50):
Like?

Speaker 2 (38:51):
Well, her first instinct was to lub it up.

Speaker 4 (38:58):
Yeah, I think she googled it and then went went to town.

Speaker 2 (39:03):
Hold on slices, do not google dog with a heart arm. Apparently,
that is, if you if you were to google it.
Those are the instructions that Google tells you to do,
and you and his cousin just said, fuck it, I'm
just going in. I'm gonna do it. Did you use
glo W A good thing?

Speaker 4 (39:28):
I don't think she used gloves, would.

Speaker 2 (39:31):
Have had to Jack Russell. The lights came on, the
lights came went down, and the music was like.

Speaker 4 (39:39):
She turned on some seating. Seating music.

Speaker 2 (39:45):
Was scary.

Speaker 3 (39:47):
Talk to do me a favorite, scary talk to your
your brother's dog right now?

Speaker 2 (39:52):
Oh hey, butterers, give me your butterers, give me my
little man. Yeah, did she talk like that? Who's a
good boy? Who's a good boy? Did she play some
snoop doggy dog bow wow? Well, yep o ye pa.
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (40:07):
Needless to say, it had the reverse effect, as you
can imagine.

Speaker 2 (40:11):
Yeah, so they had a bigger problem on their hands.
So finally, what what was the final prognosis? In case
any of the slices listening, We all know how this
story ends. Scary, We've all been there. How did how
did you need a new carpet? How did it retract?
How did the antenna go back into the uh into
its pouch?

Speaker 4 (40:32):
Well, they eventually did the same thing, except they you know,
did it properly and damned it in there? I guess
the exact Yeah, I don't really know. All I know
is that that charged me for that. You would think
that you paid for your.

Speaker 2 (40:47):
Dog to get a hand job. You paid dog to
get a handy. That's expensive. Man, woo, what is this?

Speaker 4 (41:00):
I mean?

Speaker 2 (41:01):
I tought my dog to give me his paw. That's
about it. A couple of massage parlors could have brought
a massage parlor for half the price. Right, holy ship,
your dog got a happy ending at the vet. Yeah,
they're usually not happy when they come out of the vet.

Speaker 4 (41:22):
And from the babysitter.

Speaker 2 (41:24):
Now what's the dog's motivation not to get a four
hour boner again?

Speaker 4 (41:30):
Right?

Speaker 2 (41:30):
This could become a habit.

Speaker 4 (41:33):
I don't think he has any problem and being babysit again.

Speaker 2 (41:39):
I don't know. I just I want to know how
the problem started to begin with.

Speaker 3 (41:42):
I want to know how much you pay your babysitter
and can she fly to America?

Speaker 2 (41:47):
Bertie, Bertie's gonna start barking in a second, come babysitting me.

Speaker 3 (41:56):
I would just like to see a video of the
dog's face, not anything going on the dog's face, when
she's took out the vasoline and started the process.

Speaker 2 (42:05):
Is the dog's got to be going, what the fucking
where has this been all my life? And then and
then when you come home, he's got to look at
you like, go away, go back to where you came from.
I'm staying we are exactly.

Speaker 4 (42:21):
He was a happy dog after that.

Speaker 3 (42:22):
Yes, holy shit, I've heard of given a dog a bone,
but a boner.

Speaker 2 (42:28):
Hi o, Darren, That's that's why you are the man.
I love you, man, I love you brother. We we
had a great time in Paris. And uh, hold on skin,
there's more questions. There's more questions are in the slices.
Want to know how much is a doggy hand job?
How much you did the vet charge you? If you
don't mind sharing.

Speaker 4 (42:49):
About one hundred dollars?

Speaker 3 (42:50):
One hundred dollars that's about the going right, all right?
And did they admit to you that they did what
your babysitter did to get the job done.

Speaker 4 (43:03):
Yeah, But for some reason it sounded a lot more
clinical when they were talking about it.

Speaker 2 (43:08):
That's because they had gloves on that was exotic, but
they weren't on the Brooklyn Boys podcast. But what words
did they use when you when you asked them, how
did you do it?

Speaker 3 (43:15):
What did you do? Did they say we manipulated the area?

Speaker 4 (43:19):
Do you like.

Speaker 2 (43:19):
Tweezers or what? Tweezers? Scary?

Speaker 3 (43:22):
It's not your dick, it's the dogs. Hey, Well what's
the terminology?

Speaker 4 (43:27):
And well there was anesthesia involved?

Speaker 2 (43:32):
Anesthesia because it would hurt.

Speaker 4 (43:35):
Yeah, apparent, I don't know. Maybe maybe no dog likes
to be touched in that way. So in order to
relax him, they gave him a senator.

Speaker 2 (43:46):
Little mood music, red wine. What are we talking here?

Speaker 4 (43:51):
I mean it's a clinical setting, an event, the veterinarians office.

Speaker 3 (43:54):
So how would you describe the dog's overall demeanor when
he came out of the veterinarians room there?

Speaker 2 (44:01):
When you saw him again, was he smoking a sick extremely?

Speaker 4 (44:06):
It was extremely relaxed.

Speaker 2 (44:08):
I would imagine, imagine so too.

Speaker 3 (44:11):
Now did he roll over and go to sleep or
did he want to make sure that the vet was happy?

Speaker 4 (44:18):
I did a lot of sleeping for sure.

Speaker 2 (44:20):
Okay, so he's a male dog. I got you? Okay,
all right, wow, wow, there you go. See it was
worth the wait. Three weeks we've been waiting on this.

Speaker 3 (44:29):
Uh one more questionsket one more question, keep going, Darren.
The next time this happens, and I know you do well,
you make a nice living. But the next time this
happens and you're in the apartment, uh, and the dog's
got a four hour boner, do you think about how
much it's going to cost to get it taken care of?
Or do you think about how cheap vesline is?

Speaker 4 (44:55):
Both cross my mind. It'll it'll be a tough call.

Speaker 2 (44:58):
Okay, fair enough?

Speaker 3 (45:00):
See you dog gets a pig, all right, Darren, Thank you,
Thank you so much, Darren.

Speaker 2 (45:04):
I love you.

Speaker 4 (45:05):
All right, guys, take care.

Speaker 2 (45:09):
There you go, told six eight told Darren's the man. Yeah,
but there you have it. See I told you well
worth the wait, Dear David Brody, jeezu, I got to
smoke a cigarette after that one. I already made that job.
You know.

Speaker 3 (45:27):
We just dealt with the dog penis dilemma. Yeah, I
want to run a dilemma by you. I told you
on Facebook. I get the riddles popping up on my
page a lot. Yeah, so this was a riddle. It's
not It shouldn't even be a riddle. It should be
fairly simple what to do? But this is the question
I've I've heard the riddle before. It's a one hundred
year old riddle, maybe seventy five years fifty years. And

(45:49):
if you want, I can read you some of the answers,
or I can get your answer first and then tell
you what some of the answers were. Here's the riddle. Hit,
it's a brain test. Ready, you are locked inside of car,
scary but nothing but a baseball bat.

Speaker 2 (46:02):
How do you get out? I mean the obvious I
mean you have the obvious answer. The tell me your answer.
I'm locked inside a car with a baseball back to
be metal or would whatever?

Speaker 4 (46:18):
You want?

Speaker 2 (46:19):
A baseball bat? Yeah, how do you get out of
the car? I popped the lock and I walk out
the door, Thank you very much. What so when you're
inside a car you pop a lock open and you
walk out?

Speaker 4 (46:34):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (46:34):
So, one person said, I would try to break I
would break the window with the bat and then use
the bat to get rid of all the glass a
on the window, and then yell for help. I think
the I think the operative yell for help. They wouldn't
reach over and open the door from the outside. They
would break the window and yell for help. This person says,

(46:55):
I can't believe you were all saying you would open
the door. It clearly says you're locked in.

Speaker 2 (47:00):
Okay, oh my god.

Speaker 3 (47:02):
This person says some newer cars locked down as soon
as the car engine is turned off.

Speaker 2 (47:07):
No, they don't, No way that would be a safety hazard.
I don't know what. Show me one car where the
engine is off and you're inside the car and you
can't get out. There's no there is no such thing.
In fact, they're thinking. Their brain is saying it's the

(47:29):
they gotta break the window that But the brain is saying,
I'm outside the car locked out. I need to get in.
I have to know that base brain is saying.

Speaker 3 (47:38):
Their brain is saying they hear the word locked, they
see the word locked, I'm locked in, So that they're
saying they think the doors don't open because they're locked in.
There's nothing but a baseball bat. So now they have
a physical object to break the windows. And eighty percent
of the people are saying, well, I take the bat,
and I would or they say I would take my
shirt off and I would wrap the shirt around the

(47:59):
back so that the glass wouldn't hit me. They all
have these intricate explanations.

Speaker 2 (48:04):
Get all bloodied. I'll make a tourniquet with my sweater. Right, Okay,
you passed that test. Okay, thanks? Are there more? Well,
I'm not going to read all of them. That was
just some of them. Okay. Well, you know some people
gave me credit for you rubbing off on me. By
the way, it was back to the dogs. We're not

(48:26):
back to the doggy conversation. Let's be clear about this.
This isn't that I rubbed off on you actually, or
I rubbed off on you it take this as a compliment.
Oh you're no, you're rubbing off on me. Actually, that's
the way it goes, Brodian scary. So a couple of weeks,
actually last week, I was in Miami, and did you

(48:47):
beat that woman? I was? I was in Miami, Okay,
Gandhi was there. She was staying at a fancy hotel.
I was staying. I was not staying at that hotel.
You were staying a different fancy hotel. But anyway, I
wanted to go swim in her pool and she was there.
Can we continue to focus on this, please? Thanks? Did
you actually swim or did you stand there with a

(49:08):
drink in your hand? Standing with a drink in my hand.

Speaker 3 (49:11):
I've been and I would say, except for my pool,
I've been in I don't know, seventy five one hundred
pools with you.

Speaker 2 (49:16):
I've never seen you swim. Never, No, because I mean
you kind of float with a drink in your hand.
You don't float. You stand in the in the kiddy
end and you standing with a drink, lean out the kit.
I sit down the kidding on a step. Right.

Speaker 3 (49:31):
You've never you've never swam. You sit on the ledge sometimes,
but you don't swim. I cool off, right, So you
were chilling in Gandhi's pool, yeah, So, but I was.

Speaker 2 (49:38):
On my way there and I and uh, Gandhi's like,
oh yeah, shit, you know, don't have don't have a wristband.
I gotta go find a wristband for you. So I
come prepared. I collect pool wristbands from fancy hotels, and
I collect room keys. So I actually knew that she

(50:00):
was going to be staying there. So I brought it
down with me and I and I had it in
my pocket and I took I took a screenshot of it.
I'm like, is this the wristband? And she screenshoted me
back and she goes, Yep, there it is, and they
were a match because the fancy of the hotel, the
fancy of the wristband, and they don't really think about

(50:21):
changing the color. It's was one of those silk jobs,
you know that they went with with with a little ball,
the little not thing. How did you get it? I
always whenever I go to a pool now, I always,
I always keep it really loose. No, they don't they
give you the thing. This isn't a nightclub, they don't,

(50:41):
you know, walk in and yeah. So so I've saved.
So for instance, uh, certain hotels they have different colors.
So I've now collected like your brother's dog on the
box in the dark ones exactly four different colors. And
then I, you know, and then I have a room key.
I have room keys from certain places because you don't
have to scan it, you just have to show it.

(51:03):
So so I've a mastered a collection. So I talked
about this briefly on the On the Big Show. Elvis
ran show the other day, and no less than three
people texted in and said, oh my god, that's what
Brody would do. Holy shit, that's great, Oh my god,
that's so genius. Brody Brody is finally getting through to
you about you know, being able to take advantage. Now,

(51:26):
the rest of the show was against me and said
that I was stealing. But I'm trying to understand how
me being on their property in a body of water,
spending money on cocktails, by the way, is stealing anything.
It's not. It's not like I'm eating their goods or
food or drinks for free. What am I doing. I'm

(51:47):
just there. I'm just existing. If you're a brody level,
you would have found food and drinks for free. But right,
but what do you agree to you disagree? You are
not stealing. Stealing the pool is stealing.

Speaker 3 (51:58):
If the pool is crowded and your presence in the
pool makes it more crowded where people don't want to
go in, then you don't belong there. However, if there's
eleven people standing in the shallow end and it's there's
plenty of room and you're paying for drinks, they're making money.
I don't have a problem with it exactly. Now, if
Gandhi was knew you were going to do that, she
could have just asked for a second room.

Speaker 4 (52:18):
Case.

Speaker 2 (52:19):
Well she you know, whatever, It's okay. She was about
to go help me out, but I said, just save yourself.
I love that you have a collection. Yeah, well that's
exactly it. That was what was discovered that I've done
this before, and I have not gonna lie. There were
some other hotel brands, all the popular South Florida hotel
brands that I have their their you know, I would.

Speaker 3 (52:41):
Like to see you get a peel box or a
storage unit of some kind to keep all of it
down there. So at any moments notice, you could go
to any hotel you wanted, not just the one you
plan for. Well, I mean I could just you know,
I mean, I don't have too many.

Speaker 2 (52:53):
I have like a collection of ten or eleven different
and then and I have a couple from Asbury Park,
uh oh Dasberry Park, Long Branch, New Jersey, down the
Jersey Shore, certain places with pools, I collect them. So
what I said it, I said what I said, I
did what I did, I stand behind it.

Speaker 3 (53:12):
What went through your head the first time you did that?
In other words, I understand when you have eleven now
when you had none.

Speaker 2 (53:18):
My denial of entry the time before that at another place,
there was one time we couldn't get in, and I'm like,
you know what. From now on, anytime I go to
a place with a desirable pool, I'm going to hold
on to the wristbands. Now. Of course, you may not
get a color match if it's a place that change
their colors. But we're not talking about the paper wristbands.
Those paper these are the ones that al though, usually

(53:39):
the plastic ones. But I make sure that I put it,
and they don't put it on you. They hand it
to you, so you put it.

Speaker 3 (53:44):
They trust you like an adult, and you fuck them.
So now I want you to slices.

Speaker 2 (53:49):
Hear me out.

Speaker 3 (53:50):
This is why I can't invite security to my pool,
because he will keep the wristband and then just sneak
in anytime he wants with a room key and a
wristband and come in and be like, oh no I'm
staying today.

Speaker 2 (54:00):
But am I hurting anyone at that point?

Speaker 3 (54:02):
Bo, Yes, uh, you might bothering stealing.

Speaker 2 (54:06):
I'm not stealing. No, you're You're not me existing in
a place stealing. It's not, it's not.

Speaker 3 (54:12):
I'll tell you what the difference is between between you
and me. I would do it because I like free shit.
I would like to be able to get in there
and feel special because I normally couldn't afford that hotel.
You do it because you don't like being said no to.
You don't like being kept out. No one's gonna stop
me from getting But here's the thing. You're getting in

(54:33):
with the Brodie way. But you know you'd rather get
in because you're scary Jones. You'd rather they no, no, no,
come on, man, what do you think? I amuse you
live in my life now. You're like getting in because
you were clever, but you prefer if you didn't have to.
You'd prefer if you were like, oh, I'm at this

(54:53):
hotel where I stay at a lot.

Speaker 2 (54:54):
They should know me.

Speaker 3 (54:55):
Oh blue check mark right this way, come right in.
I feel that would be more your your lively, your lifestyle,
your lifestyle would like you. You're getting in the broady
way of getting in, which I appreciate, definitely rubbed off
on you. I definitely definitely feel like you're getting in,
but you would prefer I'm surprised you didn't drop Elvis's name.

Speaker 2 (55:16):
No, that's an old school way. I don't play that.
I really have you made dinner reservations as him? I don't,
I really don't. I don't have you. Uh, we have
used his name to get some dinner reservations at that
impossible New York City high Thank you, thank you very much.
But again, am I stealing?

Speaker 4 (55:36):
No?

Speaker 2 (55:36):
What am I getting any thing for free? No? All
I want is access, and access is not to be
equated with stealing. People are texting in that I was stealing.
People were texting in the you know then you.

Speaker 3 (55:49):
Know it was no if you if you got a
free drink or some oiler derbs that were going around,
that's technically not you know, if you went in for
the Continental breakfast and grab a couple of croissants, well that's.

Speaker 2 (55:59):
What the other day, Oh my god, he would we
we have a we have a very large hotel which
hosts a lot of large gatherings for conventions in the
corporate world. And it was the middle of the afternoon
when he went to go get his car, and it said, oh,
this convention right this way, Lunch will be served at

(56:20):
this time. So Nate tucks his shirt into his pants,
rolls downstairs and grabs a brown bag lunch and walks
out with it. Is that stealing, that's stealing, yep, Diah,
that's terrible. That's awful. He should be shamed. F Wait
a second, if they you know that they throw away
three quarters of those lunches anyway, because nobody you do you.

Speaker 3 (56:42):
Donate them to a homeless shelter. See, there's always another scenario.
It's it's a convention from homeless.

Speaker 2 (56:50):
It's a convention for it's a Nike convention and they're
having it at a hotel. All you can do it
then just steal it. Just steal it. So it's a
Nike convention. Now what it's like? He where Nike? Do
you feel bad any run off with it? Do you
feel bad? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (57:04):
I feel bad because you're not stealing from Nike. You're
stealing from the hotel.

Speaker 2 (57:07):
No, at the Holly Like it's paid for, everything's paid
for in that room. Ah please, Nike just says, well,
I've been known to take a cookie or two when
I see a display of you know, some convention or
something at a hotel, might take a cookie. The best time.
The best time to do that is midday, by the way,
middle afternoon lunch. Yeah, if there's a lot of going around,

(57:29):
if you're dressed nice enough, you they don't know who
you are, you could be part of it. Maybe you're not.
It doesn't matter, and there's not there's no big high
falute and security. It's not like there are big bouncers
there staring at you. Down there's usually a table where
people are checking people who went name tags, and they're
half paying attention. Right, I've I've done. I've snuck into
two things.

Speaker 3 (57:50):
One time, we were at a birthday party and my
uh we were down the hall and it was one
of these hotels that every room is another another function,
and so we went to there's a table bulls. A
guy sitting out in front of a table checking people
in the next party looked like that good food.

Speaker 2 (58:04):
So I went up to them.

Speaker 3 (58:05):
I said, I'm here for the I'm here and check
in and he says, you're here for the psychic Convention.
And I said, you should already know the answer to that,
and he let me find true story. The other time,
the other time I snuck in, my friend Billy and
I at the time were freelance comedy writers for The

(58:27):
Tonight Show with Jay Lenno. So it's a while ago
and he had flown his show to New York for
a week. I don't know if I've told this story before.
If I have, I apologize. And so he did a
week in Manhattan at thirty Rock, and so we contacted
the people at the at the show. This is before
I was in radio, and we said, hey, we are
part of his freelance team. We send in jokes that

(58:48):
he pays us for and he did buy jokes from me.
We'd like to attend the show, so they got us tickets.
So all we heard online was that they were having
a big party at the Rainbow Room, which is at
the top of thirty Rock restaurant.

Speaker 2 (59:01):
And we're like, well, we're not invited to this big party.

Speaker 3 (59:03):
Well, let's just go up to the top floor, whatever
floor it's on and try to get in.

Speaker 2 (59:08):
So we go there and there's.

Speaker 3 (59:10):
A long, long table and the hallway is huge, and
it's got you know those uh clear plastic name tags.
They have a pin on the back and you can
pop in piece of paper, just slide in the paper.

Speaker 2 (59:22):
Yeah, of course it will fold over. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (59:24):
The table is covered with everybody who works at NBC,
everybody's names with a little NBC logo. There is names
and people are picking up their names, putting the pin
into their shirt and walking in. So he goes well,
we can't go win. Our names aren't going to be here.
So we looked and it was alphabetical. Our names weren't there.

Speaker 2 (59:43):
I said, nobody's checking.

Speaker 3 (59:44):
Take a pin sure, So he went in as somebody
who works at NBC. I grabbed Chris Farley's name tag.
I went in his Chris Farley, and I grabbed another
one that wasn't Chris Farley, just in case I got caught.

Speaker 2 (59:58):
I grabbed two and we walked right in.

Speaker 3 (01:00:01):
And then for the rest of the night we were
those people that's hysterical and and so we we got
to say, how did Jay leto Bill Cosby? Was there
before he was Bill Cosby the criminal? So we talked
to Bill Cosby. We did everything, but we just grabbed
the name tag, pinned it on our shirts and walked in.

Speaker 2 (01:00:17):
That's awesome.

Speaker 3 (01:00:18):
And sometimes Marley's he was still alive back then, obviously,
uh and uh.

Speaker 2 (01:00:23):
Yeah, just walk right in. Sometimes you got to be
a little assertive. Sometimes it's okay to pull up Brooklyn,
as I like to say, because that's a very Brooklyn move. Absolutely.
So you know what else, podcast, I love how you
start talking right before I had a punchline out an hour.
I was gonna say, you know what else is a
very brook Let's let's do it again. We're not okay, okay, ready,

(01:00:46):
go ahead? What else is Brooklyn Brody? No, No, you're
supposed to say that's very Brooklyn. Yeah, like you that's
very Are we gonna edit this? Probably now we don't edit. Okay,
all right, you know so, uh, that's very Brooklyn. You
know what else is very Brooklyn?

Speaker 3 (01:01:02):
What's that hitting the Brooklyn Boys jingle to make money?

Speaker 2 (01:01:05):
It's podcast. It's not worth the wait at that point,
it's not it's.

Speaker 3 (01:01:12):
Not speaking of going to commercial. Yes, sir, I listen
occasionally to another app that isn't iHeartRadio because I listened
to a sports show here in New York WFN and
they are on the Odissey app not a sponsor. And
you can listen to every segment of the show. So

(01:01:33):
once they do the show, you can go back and
listen like from ten to ten thirty, and it'll say,
like they talked about this at this minute, and you
can go back and sure it's all. It's all in chapters.
And what happens is once it ends, the chapter ends,
they go to commercial. And when they go to commercial.
You can't change chapters. You're locked in and you can't
do anything but listen to the commercials. And if you

(01:01:54):
hit any buttons, it says you can't change the station
that's off, can't do anything when.

Speaker 2 (01:01:59):
The commercial is running. So I realized two things.

Speaker 3 (01:02:05):
One, when they go to commercial, I just close the
app and reopen it, so fuck that. And number two,
whenever they go to commercial, they do a live read.
In other words, the host of the show do a commercial. Yeah,
so they'll go, oh, we're going to be down in
Jersey Shore this weekend, a kickoff for more of the weekend.
Come on, I know that they're wrapping up, but by

(01:02:25):
doing the advertisement for their weekend. So then I, as
soon as they do that, I just skipped to the
next chapter. So I don't have to listen to commercials.
They telegraph when they going to commercial.

Speaker 2 (01:02:35):
I love that.

Speaker 3 (01:02:35):
So thank you guys for inadvertently tipping off this radio expert.

Speaker 2 (01:02:39):
Now I'm giving the slices a little end. Uh, don't
do that.

Speaker 3 (01:02:42):
With all commercials, because our commercials are important and we
don't lock you in. If you're in the commercial, you
don't have to you not locked in. You could skip
go back, change, go back. Uh, you know, but especially
when we run the commercial for Hello Fresh, you should
listen to that because it's scary. In fact, that's talking
about to talk to everyone about we should we should
definitely talk about HelloFresh.

Speaker 2 (01:03:04):
Now we're gonna give them some extra love here because
I'm not a commercial. This is not a commercial. I
just I brought them up because.

Speaker 3 (01:03:10):
I am so enjoying, yeah, cooking the food that is
already pre portioned and pre bagged and pre on a
laminated map that I can look at.

Speaker 2 (01:03:20):
I'll tell you what. We're really excited to have them
on as one of our first of the New year,
firste people. They actually of twenty twenty three who actually
believe in us as hosts. So we especially companies like
that like HelloFresh, we want you to support if you can.
We have that code. Again, this is not an official

(01:03:41):
commercial that they're paying for, but they are a partner
of ours. It's what was the code, Brody, It's Brooklyn
Boys sixteen sixteen yep, so you get sixteen free meals.
Use that code of checkout that will also instruct HelloFresh
that you heard on the Brooklyn Boys. See, that's their
little you know, a little behind the scene. I just
pulled the curtain back. So when you get started with HelloFresh. Now,

(01:04:04):
if you don't know what HelloFresh is, you know, we
hope that you do by now. But it's basically all
fresh ingredients delivered to your door and they give you
just the right amount, just the right portion size, so
this way there's no waste. And they make some kick
ass meals and they turn any bad cook into a
five star chef. You would be amazed at what you

(01:04:27):
can do in twenty five to forty five minutes, depending
on the recipe using HelloFresh. So try it out. Get
your sixteen free meals. But you got to use the
code Brooklyn Boys sixteen in the checkout and they'll get
you started the meal. And then you get to customize

(01:04:48):
the box. Now that's like a newer thing where you
could select. You say, oh, I'm not a fish guy,
only want chicken, only want beef. Perfect. They'll make sure
to do that. You get to pick and choose things
that you do and don't want. And they now have
desserts too, some amazing looking desserts.

Speaker 3 (01:05:04):
And because I'm the one making it, if I want
to leave out an ingredient. I listen, Uh, I got
a zucchini sitting on my counter that I don't want
to eat, and I'm gonna give to my friend who
likes his wife likes zucchini's whatever.

Speaker 2 (01:05:18):
Whatever. I don't know what she's doing it. You should
do whatever you want. Put an ay kind of meal
she wants to make. I don't have to eat it.

Speaker 3 (01:05:24):
So I got the sausage pasta with zucchini, I just
didn't put the zucchini in. Thank you all the Fresh
to give me that in Hello Fresh dot com slash
Brooklyn Boys and then use the code Brooklyn Boys sixteen.

Speaker 2 (01:05:37):
I think it is. I don't know. I don't have
it because this is not an official commercial. I don't
I don't have the uh information in front of me,
but I think that's what it is, right, Brody, I
believe I feel like you should have it in front
of you. But yeah, uh, Brooklyn Boys, it's HelloFresh dot
com slash Brooklyn Boys and then use Brooking Boys sixteen
at checkout? All right, what else do you want to
talk about? And then we got to get out of here.

(01:05:58):
I'm going to see Blink wid eighty two tonight I
don't about you. Well, I would have gone, but I wasn't.

Speaker 3 (01:06:04):
I wasn't invited In a second, Now, hold on, even
when you had a cancelations weren't for your tickets cost money?

Speaker 4 (01:06:11):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:06:11):
I have money, You have money. You don't strike I'm
sorry you don't strike me as the biggest Blink fan.
Oh I'm not. Huh okay, then you are? Well. I
mean I'm a pretty big fan from way back. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:06:30):
Why well, I'm just saying you assume that I'm I'm
not a fan, but you know, damn it? I mean,
what's my age again? Am I too old to go?
This is growing up?

Speaker 2 (01:06:40):
Yeah? Ye had all.

Speaker 3 (01:06:42):
The small things I say to you about liking Blink
Twinity too. How about the most clever album name of
all time? Take off off your pants and jacket? Would
you take off your pants and jacket? I mean unless
your edge a c K, unless you're edging like the dog?
I mean, I'm feeling this now. I want to go,
But no, not now, not now, I don't get to go.

Speaker 2 (01:07:01):
Damn it. What's your age again? What's your age? Age again?
Do I have a d D? Are you feeling this?
Are you feeling this? No?

Speaker 3 (01:07:08):
After midnight. I'm gonna call you tonight. Sorry, you weren't
invited to the rock show. Always, always you forget to
invite me. Every time I look for you, you're not there.

Speaker 2 (01:07:18):
I thought I was down. Well, i'll tell you what,
we'll miss stay home board to death. We'll miss you now.
I really wish I hated you.

Speaker 4 (01:07:25):
I don't.

Speaker 2 (01:07:27):
I have a dark side, and that may come out indifference.
Here is, I'm doing this shit off the top of
my head, and you're reading off their website, so all
of this I am not okay, you're pulling the song title.
I'm pulling them out of my ass because I'm just
coming up with names with reckless, abandoned that I do.
I'm a true fan, you asshole, and you okay you

(01:07:50):
love the wordplay and honestly give me a concert. Where
can we meet in the middle here? Like, what is
a concert that both of us love? Obviously? You know
the name behind you on the steppen Repete says it
all the Brooklyn Boys, the Beastie Boys. But they will
never play again.

Speaker 3 (01:08:07):
By the way, speaking of the Beastie Boys, if you
go see Guardians of the Galaxy Volume three, not a
spoiler but no sleep till Brooklyn is in the is
in the movie, and a couple of people tweeted at
me and saying all they could think about was our podcast,
which is great.

Speaker 2 (01:08:19):
I always have seen as fantastic this. I also want
to thank the twelve hundred of you who sent me
the Oppenheimer flyer that Oppenheimer is coming out, Yeah, the movie. Oppenheimer.
The movie is coming out based on my phone tap
character of the same name. What are the odds? Who's Oppenheimer? Anyway?

Speaker 3 (01:08:38):
So anyway, well, he was a scientist who invented the
nuclear bomb. Who knew I remember correctly, I didn't know that,
but you didn't know? Well, I mean I know now
because of this film coming out, But whatever, Okay, is
that all we have to cover? Because I gotta go.
You're kidding me, Well, I gotta take a shower. I mean,

(01:09:01):
I don't want to stink for Tom Deng What Tom
DeLong Tom Tom Tom is back in the band?

Speaker 2 (01:09:10):
Yes, I mean, that's part of partly why I'm so excited,
because because people are like, well, what's the big deal?

Speaker 3 (01:09:15):
They've been touring all these years and deal. I'm also
I'm also a fan of Angels and Airwaves. Okay if
you must know, No, it's okay. What show can we
see together?

Speaker 2 (01:09:25):
The rock show? We need to do that. Taylor Swift.

Speaker 3 (01:09:29):
I'm even a fan of his British accent when he
goes in my head, in my in my head, I'm
a big fan. I seriously, I love them. Okay, Well,
I'm going to see Taylor Swift.

Speaker 2 (01:09:39):
You want you going to that? I'm trying to get
into that show?

Speaker 4 (01:09:42):
Now?

Speaker 2 (01:09:42):
What's the name of the tour? Big the Easiest? Uh,
it's the Ears Tour. Very nice? Come on, Borty, what
are you trying to? Very nice?

Speaker 3 (01:09:51):
I'm going my wife and kids and I are going.
We're excited. We got we're able to get tickets.

Speaker 2 (01:09:56):
Very lucky. I don't have those yet. Oh I'm sorry,
but you'll probably is one of your connect You'll figure.
I'm gonna try. I'm gonna try, all right.

Speaker 3 (01:10:01):
I'm gonna see Kiss in December for that last ever show.
I have tickets, last ever ever.

Speaker 2 (01:10:08):
This time is for real.

Speaker 3 (01:10:08):
Maybe that's the show that I should see with you. Oh,
I may have an extra ticket if you want to go.
They're not cheap.

Speaker 2 (01:10:15):
May you know? Is this a show that I want
to you might be able to name two songs. God,
name two songs, and one of them can't be rock
and roll all night. Okay, I'm dead. I don't know
too many of their songs.

Speaker 3 (01:10:32):
I know them, but I don't know too never mind
too many, don't I finished this title Detroit Rock City.

Speaker 2 (01:10:40):
There you go? Oh okay, okay, come on, give me
another one. I was made for Loving you Baby. There
you go. Okay. See I know their songs. You know
the backhands of titles of two songs. I was made
for loving you Baby, very good? Okay, I could sing
it too. What else? That's it? You go to the

(01:11:03):
name the song with the woman's name.

Speaker 3 (01:11:05):
Give mean the Grammy Award winning nineteen seventy six hit Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:11:08):
That one off of the uh yeah, Beth Beth. That's
the song. I knew that one too. All right. I'm
not a big fan. I'm a okay fan. But it's
an event, and I want to be part of events.

Speaker 4 (01:11:21):
You know that.

Speaker 2 (01:11:21):
If it's an event, it's like their last show.

Speaker 3 (01:11:23):
Take you and and real kiss fans find out that
I had a ticket to their last show ever when
they retire after fifty years of being a band, and
I took you, they'd kill me.

Speaker 2 (01:11:33):
Well, I'll just show if you want to pay me
over face value so I can deduct the cost of
my ticket. I just you should show up and make
up so nobody recognizes you. Then how about that? Yeah,
I'm no, we're a full KABOOKI makeup like the band does.

Speaker 3 (01:11:47):
By the way, Yeah you know where Gene and Paul
are from? The Guys and Kiss Queen clean Boy.

Speaker 2 (01:12:00):
I tried super cla