#323: Casket Shopping with the Cuz

#323: Brody was caught in a moral dilemma at the cash register after ordering one sandwich and being given two; Skeery was asked by his cousin to help him handle his future funeral affairs and go casket shopping; Brody demands common decency from strangers; a restaurant receipt auto grat Scamboni you need to watch out for; Skeery might have a kink for being belittled and degraded

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Start Up, dot Up, start Up, Brooklyn Boy, Start Up,
Brooklyn Boys, start Up Up, They Making Noise Up start
Up Up.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
Episode three twenty three, The Brooklyn Boys Podcast. Hey, what's up?
David Brody? What's up? Scary Jones? How are you feeling?
I'm not good? Yeah. So in case you guys slices,
if you've been wondering where the episode is, a lot
of people have, Yeah, today's Wednesday. We are officially a
week late on the episode. Yeah, I have been six

(00:39):
since Wednesday. Of luck, it's a week already. Yeah, we
were about to get on last week and you know,
reenactment of what happened. As we were about to sign on,
the music came on and Brodie was like, what there
it is and I'm like okay, and then we cut

(01:00):
it and we should have. We should have actually issued
that as the podcast. So then that would give the
reason why we didn't issue a podcast. But we try.
It's our new spinoff podcast, cough Time. We got it. Hi,
Oh we got it. We did get in there. Uh
but uh, we tried, but we failed. But you feel
you look better, We'll call it cough Time. I got

(01:20):
a cough on the left. Y'all got a cough on
the right, y'all got a cough got everybody wrote the song.
Very few, very few people know that song. Yeah, great song,
great song. How many people know White Lines that we
did slice time exactly? Not many. It's not about the
original song, it's about how great the parody sounds. This

(01:42):
is true. So let's get the people know. You don't
think people know the song set it off more than
White Lines. I think White Lines a little more. But anyway,
it's all eighties free style stuff and yeah, let's let's so.
I'm glad you're doing well. You look great, your your
complexion is back, uh sort of, and uh, but you're
still gonna to push it and go play pickleball. I
don't understand. You tried playing pickleball Monday and somebody says

(02:03):
to me, god, you look pale. I go, that's because
I'm a jew, right, like no, no, like paler than normal.
So I said, oh yeah, and I uh he was, oh,
no problem, I'm fine, I'm gonna try it. And I said,
scary of well. Podcast Monday night after I come back
for pickleball, He's like, guy, i's no problem. Yeah. Uh again,
I got up to like three points and pickleball, and

(02:24):
I started going. The cold air was rushing in my
lungs like baby I was. I was in Beverly Hills
because I was weezer. Well yeah, so yeah, but uh
and oh, let's get the eight hundred pound gorilla out
of the room. What's stretch that? Happy birthday? Happy Berry's down,

(02:46):
Scary's down a seven hundred and eighty pounds. Yea hioh, Well,
happy birthday, that's what I wanted to show. Oh yeah, yeah,
David Brody's birthday. Everybody, Well, not yet, but by the
time you hear this, it'll be David Brodie's birthday. And
the story come on, depends on when you hear this.
You may hear it six months from me. You gonna
hear it on Thursday. Most people listen to day after
we issue it. So here we are, happy birthday. Okay, Well,

(03:08):
I appreciate that. I just uh, I appreciate all the
thank yous in advance. It's fine, get any presents. You
announcing my birthday was the greatest present of all. Wow,
all right, it's not my birthday yet. You can't say
it's my birthday already because people are going to listen
to this in three days or four days or a
week in my life as we record this, it's not

(03:30):
my birthday yet, so you're not even in the birthday
frame of mind. Even though it's six hours birthday frame
of mind six seven hours away. It's not six or
seven hours away. It's seven and twenty minutes. Yeah the
love seven hours. No, I'm not I'm not in the
h I'm not in the frame of mind. Okay, not yet.
All right, we'll get this. I've been sick. I've been sick.

(03:51):
To me, it's like a week ago like this. This
whole week's been a blur of me in bed most
of the day and staying away from people and coughing
and wheezing. And so you have plans for the weekend
at least birthday, big birthday weekend coming up? A pickleball,
maybe pickleball? All right, No, I got it's been so popular.
I didn't get in this weekend. Oh I'm on the

(04:11):
wait list. Yeah, I don't know what my plans are.
I don't know. I got dinner, I got dinner, plants
on my birthday, obviously, duh. But I don't I don't
know what I'm doing this weekend. Because I'm not excited
about my birthday coming up. That's my birthdays on a
Thursday and mine's on Monday. So I I gotta tell you,
not really looking forward to it. I don't I don't know,

(04:31):
I don't really care. Yeah, well, I guess your problem
is that you're you're on this diet planned, which, by
the way, I'm looking at you, guys, if you haven't
seen Scary Jones on social media, ron, I'm looking at
him in a webcam. He's looking good. Thank you. You're
not my duff anymore looking he's looking spelt well sort of.

(04:52):
I'm only halfway there. Go ahead, finish it. There you go.
I knew you living on a prayer, living on you know,
not living on a prayer, living on boil chicken and
no oil or butter. So rockley. Yeah. So it'll eventually,
you know, I'll make it another hopefully fifteen twenty pounds,
and then we'll call it a day, and then I'll
you know, start all over again. And then you know,
people are asking me, why don't you try it? Why

(05:14):
don't you just keep it off this time? Like it's
that easy. I said it to you. Yeah, I know
what everybody does. Everybody says it to me, but they
don't ask what I see. I know you better, and
I know the plan better. What I said the scary
was first, I said, Scary, you have such willpower, because
when when I lose weight, it's very difficult. I have to,
you know, but I don't. I don't go on this
hardcore crash diet. I just start eating sensibly, smaller portions,

(05:37):
not snacking, and I lose the weight a little slower
than Scary does. But what Scary does? It takes so
much willpower? Is it? Scary? You have this willpower? Why
not when you become third quarter scary like you sometimes do?
Why not do another couple of weeks of detox in
the summer. I could, and scar and Scary says to me, oh,

(05:58):
I could, mentally, but dude, I'm gonna be at the
beach and at rooftop bars and on vacation. I can't.
I can't not eat right now. It's the winter. I
don't give a ship. I got it so right exactly,
now's the time to do this stuff. So then I said, Scary,
how about this? How about just you pick like one
or two days a week that you eat this way

(06:21):
and then five days a week, like the weekend, Thursday
and Monday, or Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday and and and Wednesday.
You eat like a pig, not like a pig, but
like you normally do, like give on like a gov
on then and said, if you if you eat healthy
just two days a week, you might be able to
keep off most of the weight and it might be
good for your heart and your and your cholesterol in

(06:43):
your heart. He's like, you know what, that's not that's
not a bad idea. I don't know. I don't know,
so I I I admire scary now. But you know
he loves he loves those restaurants. Yeah, I really do.
It's my way of communication. I mean, that's how I
communicate with people is through food and drink. So that
that's that's my social life. That's my world, right. You know.

(07:05):
He goes up his girlfriend on Friday and he's like, hey, Robin,
this weekend. H yeah, we played our dinner for Saturday night.
We play on a Sunday brunch Italian food. Yeah, okay,
I'll come out and see you. All right. It's it's
gotten so bad. My girlfriend does he want to see me?
She's literally took took took a knee on hanging out
last week. Yeah, I said, Scary calls me on Saturday night.

(07:26):
I said, scary, what's wrong? He's like, what do you mean?
I go, Skar's scary. It's a Saturday night. What are
you doing? Whatever? There's everything okay, He's like, yeah, man,
I'm just chilling. What do you mean you're chilling this?
Uh well, Robin's doing dry January, so we can't drink
and I'm not eating, so she doesn't want to see me.
I go, scary, there's not you don't want to cuddle,
you don't want to like watch them. Eh no, there's

(07:47):
no food, no drink. He's out. It's because, if you
think about it, I don't want to put her through this.
Why she's not she doesn't have to lose weight. Look
at her. You can see right through her when when
she well, no, she's perfann she's no, she's she's very
healthy and and uh you know the week before I'm
like cooking all healthy for us, and I'm like, you know,
she's going along with the program because she doesn't one

(08:08):
insult me. And I cooked made dinner for both of us,
and she was like money. It's very crazy. Ross. Sweet,
I'll let you come over and we'll have some Broccolian
carrots and a nice cold glass of water. Yeah, I'll
be right over. Yeah. So yeah, yeah. The Scary Jones
calls you on a Saturday, you know something's wrong. So right,
So there's combine that with football Sunday, watching the two

(08:31):
games of who's going, you know, to decide who's going
to the super Bowl. There was no way she was
hanging out. She fucking detests football. She can't stand watching football.
There's nothing that interests her. Lettuce so sold you say
nothing that interests her lettuce less? Oh you said lettuce
let us that's what I'm having for dinner. With having

(08:52):
lettuce wraps with Scary is having lettuce on a bed
of lettuce. No, I'm having Buffalo Buffalo Soldier. Not not
Buffalo tenders or Buffalo Chicken. I'm having a Buffalo Buffalo
bills else had them the Chiefs? Did they? Sure? Did
they ate their lunch? God, I'm so pissed about that.

(09:13):
Don't complain about the refs. Score fifty points like the
Eagles did, So don't let it come down to one
one call by a ref and it's by the way,
it's it's it's It's absolutely impossible to rig an NFL game.
It's the most bet on sport in the world. Stop it. No, no, no,
it's not it's not rigged. It's just stupid by the
call by the refs. You know, whyn't they just check

(09:35):
that out again? Like I don't understand who made that
final Okay, you know you know, you know who didn't
complain about the spot of the first down that Josh
Allen didn't get. You know who didn't complain about chis
no the Bills. The Bills, Oh, the Bills. The Bills
could have thrown a challenge flag and challenged the spot
of the ball. And then what they did on fourth
down was they ran the Toush push to the left side,

(09:56):
which is all they did all game. Toush push to
the left side, Tousch push to the left sid. I
would have killed them to hand the ball off to
James Cook, who's one of the best running backs in
football and do something a little different. So don't please,
I don't overdo the non football fans, all right, but
stop whining about the refs. The Eagles went out and
scored fifty points against the Commanders. That's how you win

(10:16):
a playoff game. Won go to the World Series. Fucking score,
and don't blame the fucking refs. You know, didn't you know?
He didn't blame the refs. The Bills didn't blame. Bills
didn't blame But yet everybody's crying about, oh thee the
poor Bills. The Bills didn't didn't throw a penalty flag.
The Bills didn't complain about it, then filed a grievance
with the league. So all right, all right, all right, hey,
speaking of football, when the Eagles went listen, the Eagles

(10:40):
fans have a reputation of being brutal. And I've been
to a lot of Eagles football games. Oh, don't forget
last year at this time, I went to see the
Giants play the Eagles with Giants jerseys in their territory,
and it well, did you see the video going around
of the redskin fan who was leaving the playoff game
and then he was surrounded by Eagles fans walking to

(11:00):
the parking lot. No, they took his hat, they took
his redskins. Well that's not I want to talk about
something that's that's sad. And also ironic and I'm not
making fun one of the things they do in Philly,
And I don't know why. Like you, you want your
team to win, you're excited, I get it. They burn
the city down. Well not this time. Don't. First of all,

(11:24):
don't fire guns in the air. There was video of
a guy saw that shooting the gun. Stop it. You
know what happens to bullets that get shot in the air,
They come down. People have been killed by bullets that
fall back down to earth. Stop it. Uh that That's
been a public service announcement from David Brody the Brooklyn
Boys podcast. All but the big thing in Philly, and
I don't know why this is, is they climb the

(11:46):
flight poles, the lamp poles, right, So in Philly they
grease them. Yep, they grease them. But instead of that
being a deterrent, it becomes a challenge. But he's knuckleheads.
Oh they're gonna grease the Paul for my safety. Fuck that,
I'm going up to poul anyway. Well, a kid, yes,

(12:06):
a kid Sunday, I guess during the game or after
the game. Eighteen year old kid goes to went to
Temple University from Canada, not even a Philadelphia area guy. Now,
like got he grew up an Eagles fan. He's a
gymnast for a temple gymnastics team, and he figured, you
know what, I'm a gymnast. I got this. He got this.

(12:27):
So he climbs the pole, he slips off the pole
and falls. Now I have to assume he was inebriated,
because again he's a gymnast. Did he bend his way
and land? Uh no, he's dead awful. This is said
horrible way to go to commercials. My point is, be

(12:47):
safe when you celebrate for the Super Bowl. We don't
want to lose anybody. Right. If you hate the Chiefs
and they lose and you're like, oh my god, I'm
going out and I'm gonna climb a flag pole or a lamp, put,
don't do that. We love you. Be safe. I feel
terrible for the kid and his family. But he wasn't
even an Eagles fan. That's the worst part. He just
wanted to prove a point. But yeah, so as we

(13:08):
go to commercials, H scare who you're rooting for in
the Super Bowl. This kills me. Gus a Giants, a
Giants fan. I want to I want to I want
to root for the Chiefs because I'm a Giants fan,
but you can roof because I'm a Saquon guy, because
he was from the Giants and now he's on the Eagles,
and because I hate the Chiefs even more than the Eagles,

(13:28):
and I don't want to see the three peete I
think it's it's it. I'm gonna have to I'm gonna
have to root for the Eagles. So if you're a
Giants fan and you're like, what I mean, actually, I don't.
This is there's no winning for me and and Giants
fans and you we all know that. But I'm gonna
have to eat crow eat bird eagle, all right? What

(13:51):
about you? Well, I like the Eagles, and the Eagles
owner Jeffrey Lauria is the founder of the Ronald McDonald
House Charities. All right, where I as a camp counselor,
and he did a lot of goods, got a lot
of good work in Philly at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia.
On the other hand, Patrick Mahomes, his father, pitched for
the Mets Okay at a time when Mahomes was was

(14:13):
an eight to twelve twelve year old boy. Mahomes grew
up a Mets fan. This pictures him online running in
the outfield with the Mets. He wears a Mets jersey
all the time. That's not a strong enough connection for me.
The dB hold on, he's a Mets fan, and I
gotta respect that, you know, I happened to I like
the team. I like Andy Reid. I think I think

(14:36):
the way they ran him out of Philadelphia, he was
the longest, I think the most for you all are
You're going to say the Chiefs, But no, I'm saying
it's very tough for me. I haven't said, yeah, okay,
think of it this way. The Eagles versus Tailor Swift fans. No.
I like Taylor Swift though her fans are my daughters.
So what are you saying, oh and so is a

(14:57):
bad example. I don't know. I feel like that would
make more people. I think it's scary. You're the problem.
It's you. I'm the problem. It's and Brody. I gotta say,
you're gonna make one more football reference. You can make
it football reference. Oh you want to continue the football references?
You said if the Chiefs win will be the first

(15:17):
time in the in NFL history, that is a three
p three. Now, the three peat is a great word,
right because it's repeat, but three peat correct, So three
times over the history of that word. I do not
a guy named Pete.

Speaker 3 (15:34):
No.

Speaker 2 (15:34):
No. The Los Angeles Lakers, who at that point were
being coached by Pat Riley, were going for their third
consecutive NBA championship and head coach pat Riley came up
with the name the word three pete, trade marked it,
trademarked it, and he gets money every time it's used.
He owns it. Yeah, I love that, believe that's correct.

(15:57):
So how about that he invented a great word we
think is like, oh, it's an obvious word, of course. Yeah. Repeat.
Does that mean we owe him money for this podcast
right now? Because we don't. We don't. But like if
shirts are printed officially, like if they if the NFL
prints three peat shirts, I believe he gets money for that. Wow.
He's now the president of the Miami Heat. He doesn't

(16:20):
coach anymore, but it was his word. He came up
with the word, I believe, and if the Heat win
a couple of times, they could be a Heat peat
and he can trademark that or a three peat. Three
Pete I'm sorry, that's all right. Listen. I was going
down a rabbit hole as I often do on TikTok,

(16:42):
were you're that hungry for the rabbit? And I'm kind
of upset because I realize now it was an old
video and this place doesn't exist anymore. But do you
remember a place or ever hearing about a place called
Karen's Diner. There's a place that was. Is that where
everybody goes in? As for the manager, No, it's a
bunch of Karen's that work there. So I was watching

(17:02):
a family play a joke on Grandma. They took Grandma
to Karen's Diner. It's an Australian and UK kind of
chain establishment, and as soon as they walk in, like then,
they start cursing at the grandmother. They're like, hey, let's
show you your table. Oh, you want your menus? And
they drop them on the floor and they make the

(17:23):
family pick up the menus, and the grandmother's beside herself
like and someone's taping her, like what the fuck's going on?
They didn't let Granny in on the joke that they
that you're there for the uh, you know, a side
order of you know, as a nasty yeah, rudeness, arrogance. Stick, Yeah,
the stick. So, like you know, obviously places like Dick's
Last Resort they do that or member Cravty Country Club

(17:49):
a cheap beer and lousy food, warm beer and lousy food. Yeah,
there was a place in our old neighborhood on next
in bay Ridge, the neighborhood over Crazy Go and it'd
be a guy who looked like Uncle Fester from the
Iris family there and they would like pick one of
your group out. You go with a group and they
were like making it out of a dog bawl yeah,
and be belligerent, nasty y you. Yeah. So so Karen's

(18:10):
Diner has since closed. I think at twenty twenty three
they closed and now they do some pop ups. So
I was obviously watching an old video. But there aren't places.
I mean, yeah, okay, Dick's Last Resort I believe does that,
and Krabby Dix is the other place that people have
been saying. But I, for whatever reason, have this fascination
with wanting to go there. Is that weird of me,

(18:32):
like I want to go and be like demean like
demeaned and like remember that time I went to Wiener's
Circle in Chicago, the place where I think we talked
about it on this podcast in one of the earlier
episodes where they literally start cursing at you and just
the nastiest, rudest service ordering hot dogs. Does a hot

(18:53):
dog stand in Chicago? Oh yeah, yeah, yep, Wiener Circle.
Apparently they still are like that, and you know they
pride themselves on that for whatever reason. I'm kind of
upset that Karen's dying or closed and now I got
to find a Dick's last resort because I want to
go there have a meal, and for me, it would
be entertaining to sit there and just take it. I

(19:15):
want to And and I was telling Elvis in the
Morning Show this and they were like, well, that says
a lot about you, you know. Yeah, you're like one
of those guys that pays women to walk on their
back with stilettos. Yeah, they're saying, it's like a kink
on you. It's like a kink you need to be dominated?
Is that a king of Nothing wrong with that, I mean,
it's it's I guess it's defined as a kink. But
if if you need to be shipped on, not literally

(19:36):
or abused, maybe that's why you know, you enjoy when
Elvis yells at you. Sometimes I want to sit there
and take it. He probably knows you like it. And
by the way, he doesn't yell at you. He just
kind of like, yeah, teases you. But maybe you like that.
I don't know. I feel like I want to go
to a restaurant like this and just sit there and enjoy.
For me, what would be entertaining if people want something
like your dad yelling at you a lot as a cad?

(19:58):
You know, well, that's the Does this harken back to
a time in my youth? Is this something? Is this
like a psychology money? Stupid Anthony? I don't need an
electric garbage pail in my kitchen. Get out of here.
He's stupid. Where's doctor Phil? I mean? Why is it
that I crazy to see what doctor Phil is? Yes?
I did, I saw Doctor Phil is. I love But

(20:19):
we talk about it. I just quickly landed doctor Phil. Yeah,
we'll talk about it later. Yeah. So, But but I
just want to know why is it that I have this?
And maybe maybe you don't. How do you feel about that?
Would you? How would you? David Brodie in The Dick's
Last Resort or Karen's Diner. What would how would how
would it go down? I don't think you would take it.

(20:40):
I think you would bark back at them and you
would take it personally because I wouldn't. I would go
as as an as a challenge assignment to outdo them,
or I would go there to get like a get
a job to do it like for the day, like hey, hey,
can I work here for a day for free? And
I would like abuse people. That would be a great
job for me. I think that. I think that staff
loves working those places because they get to a steam

(21:01):
whole day. Yeah. But to go there and be like
verbally abused by somebody, I don't That's not what I
would look for in life. Now, if a comedian did
it at a comedy club, they were very clever, you know, like, oh,
you know, like if I went with my wife to
a comedy club and they're like making fun of the
fact that she's better looking than me, you know, they'd
be like, Okay, I get that. Yeah, But if I
go to a comedy club and the guy's like, you know, hey,

(21:24):
you're fucking ugly, that's not clever to me. So if
I went to this one of these places and they're like,
you know, insulting me. It wasn't clever, and I found
it to be accurate. I don't think I would enjoy that,
but I feel like you would be like, oh, yeah,
my nose is a little bitger than normal. Yeah, okay,
I'm not saying.

Speaker 4 (21:40):
You know.

Speaker 2 (21:41):
As an example, we got a text mess she just
said they went to one of these places. I don't
know if it was Krabby Dick's or Dick's last resort,
and he, you know, he said that, you know, he
was with his boyfriend or whatever the case, and they
they gave the hat that said free parking and rear
No but you know, yeah, that's insulting, Like, you know,

(22:02):
did you take that personally? I think if he laughed,
found it hilarious. I think if two gay men go
to a place like that, I think they're they're going
knowing they're gonna get shit for going there, and they
get right picked on a little bit. I think that's
what you expect. Yeah yeah, But for whatever reason, I
feel like you and I need a road trip to

(22:23):
Dick's last resort. I don't know where the nearest one is.
I have heard the nearest remember Lisa Lampinelli, our friend,
the comedian, of course you remember her. Yeah, she was
an insult comic. Her whole shtick was insulting people. So
she would insult you based on your race or ethnicity, whatever,
and then she'd come on our show and she'd call
you a terrorist because you look like you were Middle
Eastern and must saying that's her accurate, but that's what
she'd say. And she'd she'd call Elvis' names for being gay, whatever,

(22:45):
and then people would call up them like, hey, I'm
Puerto Rican, insult me, insult me like they wanted, like
hey I'm I'm Indian and Chinese? What do you got?
What do you got? Right? So she would insult people, right,
but she was doing an equal opportunity not to be hurtful,
and people were enjoying it. If you're in the mindset
to enjoy it, that's great. But ever every uh Indian

(23:07):
person she insulted on the phone who want to be insulted.
I'm sure there were Indian people listening who were offended
by it and didn't want to be insulted. But if
you're going into it, go to those place. Yes, if
you're voluntarily like going into these restaurants. You know what
you're gonna get side? If I would run, I don't
know if i'd run there so fast unless it was
for like a bachelor party for you, where I knew

(23:28):
you'd be the target. I want a side of SaaS, please,
we gotta go. You should sit to one meal with
me there, and it would be hysterical. I think it would.
Are you inviting me to a meal? Yeah, you know what,
I'm gonna get your steak dinner there? How about that? No, No,
that it's okay. I don't need I don't need a
rubber steak. I don't go to a steak dinner. It
was it was a sirloin burger. Come on. I don't know.

(23:51):
We'll figure something out, but I would love something out.
I would love to go to Dick's. You know what
I'm saying, Hey, maybe you can get some Zeman on
your face and then go there. The zaman of the injection,
the injection or whatever. Yeah, that's my botops injection that
I got that one time, which, as you could see,
looks like they need to stick me with a second dose.

(24:14):
The wrinkles that come you know what, while you're getting
wrinkles you're losing weight, so the fat and your forehead's gone.
That's not keeping you tight anymore. Oh that's what's going on. Yeah,
I gotta fill it back up again. I gotta get weight.
You're getting loose skin. Yeah, that's right. You get loose
skin now from the that's why you get wrinkles, loose skin,
loose skin. Did mornings on that rock station in that

(24:35):
loose is loose skin and the boarded el skin for
you locals. So you just you just hit yourself on
the microphone. I just hit my I hit my nose
on the mic. I don't know how that happen. I'm
just scary bent down for a second after I made
my comment and he went, bo't right like that. I said,
your nose is big. I said, that's gonna I got

(24:56):
a Roman nose, and it's yeah, yeah, you're doing the Romans. Yeah,
I get it. I get it. Hey. I saw on
Facebook a guy said he was hoping with the Jets
hiring a new head coach. He says, maybe we'll finally
see a light at the end of the rainbow. What
that's not, that's not the expression. It's a light at

(25:17):
the end of the tunnel. Or a pot of goal
at the end of the rainbow. So he can, yeah,
he can. This will be our light at the end
of the rainbow. You know, that wasn't the stupidest thing
I heard all week, though it was. It was the
Philly mayor trying to spell eagle. Should we play that
for them? And you have the audio, I'm sure. Let
me set up while you're looking. Let me set up

(25:38):
while you're looking. So the Jets chant is jay E
T S jets, Jets, jets. The eagles chant is the
same exact chant. It's e A G L E S eagles,
which some of you may have realized is the same chant.
You have to be able to spell jets, which is
only four letters, and then you say jets jet jets
to make it seven, right, But the Eagles you have

(26:00):
to you have to spell e A G L E
S Eagles. Well, the mayor, so I saw one late
night comedy show, I think it was Colbert. When they
showed it, they put the letters on the screen as
she was spelling it. Said it in night Live did
it and didn't show the letters, so you couldn't follow

(26:20):
along as easily. Have it. Scary Philly, he said, We've
got to do this.

Speaker 1 (26:25):
Let me hear you all saying, he.

Speaker 2 (26:28):
E what E L C S E S l L
excess lays el. They cracked me up. I'm sorry, where
were we? I sidetracked us? How do you funk that up?

(26:54):
It's yours, it's your town, simmy. You should be practicing
that every week. But I'm sure we Okay, hold on,
here's Ki's Kevin Hart doing a spoofie. Hold on, Oh,
hold on up, you hear me. It's got time fresh
off the bird to see the bird.

Speaker 3 (27:12):
You already know what it is, E A G L
E S Eagles. If you want to spell it the
other way, we can do it that too. Shout out
to the mate of E L G L e A
E B S Eagles. Okay, it's got tom baby bird.

Speaker 2 (27:30):
How do you fuck that up? Anyway? How do you
not get re elected as the mayor of the city
you spell the football team's name wrong. Yeah, I'm a
big Eagles fan. You're in the middle of G L
S E S And just like that, we're back on football.
No what we we're talking about. You're in the middle
of something. We were talking about the dumbest things we

(27:50):
heard this week. Oh, that's right. Yeah, but before the
light at the end of the rainbow. Light the light
at the end of the rainbow, Okay, And then I
saw a guy, white guy. He's talking about I think
it was a sports show. I didn't get the audio,
and he says, uh. He kept saying, you know what
I mean, but you know people like ya. I was
down at the store and I was hungry, and I
was blah blah blah. You know what I mean. This

(28:11):
is what he said. You know what I mean. The
guys want He says, uh, you know, I like the guy.
You know what I mean. If you say I like
the guy, where is the confusion in that I like
the guy? You know what I mean? So you're you're
pretty much right, because you really need to confirm and explain.
There's some confusion there. I like the guy, you know

(28:34):
what I mean? Yeah, I know you mean you like
the guy. It's too much, but you know what I means,
save him for like at least three word sentences. You
gotta take a break, you know what I mean? Five
word sentences. I like the guy is four sods particular
break Boys podcast. We will be right back. You take
breaks just when I'm having fun. Why do you fight
me on these things? You know, we have to do them,

(28:55):
you know, But I'm here for the people as am I.
But it's not my I'm just happen to be the
one running the equipment. So I it's like, okay, I
have to be referee and jump in there. Yeah, right,
all right? Scary? Do you believe in being nice to
strangers always? Because you never know who you get talking to?
You never know, right, And if you have an opportunity
to help a guy out or make your life lootle easier,

(29:16):
you would you would do that always. So I had
to go to one of the many post offices in
my area, and one of them, you pull into the
parking lot, and when you get out of the car,
you have to walk along a path and then you
go around a large bush. You make a left around

(29:40):
the bush, you walk straight the bush, the hedge keeps
going and then you make a left, and there's the
door to the post office. So when you're getting out
of your car, you cannot see the door to the
post office because it's around the bush. Make a left, yep, Okay,
So I'm pulling into the parking lot at the post
office on Saturday, and oh, I want to say, it's

(30:03):
one fifty nine. And the post offices in my area
all close at different times, and I don't always remember
which ones close at four on Saturday, which ones closed
at five, one of them closes at noon. Whatever. I
can't keep track all the times. All I know is
I had a large box. I had a ship. So

(30:24):
I'm going to the post office. So I got I
get out of my car. I go to the side door,
you know, the rear door. I get this giant box
that I'm holding, you know, with both hands, and it's
it's a little lower than my chin, but it's a
big box, you know. And I'm walking and I'm walking
along the make the turn by the bush, and I

(30:44):
got to walk, you know, maybe ten feet along the
bush before I make the left where I can see
the doors. Okay, And a woman comes around the bush,
customer just left the post office with what looks to
be a small package in her hand. Uh huh. And
she sees me, makes eye contact, walks by me, and

(31:08):
I don't think anything of it. I keep walking. I
make the left, I walk up to the doors, and
I'm struggling to get the door opens. I got these
this large box in my hand. Huh. And the door's
going boom boom, door's not opening. Huh. And I look
and it says we close at two o'clock. They closed

(31:29):
it too. It was one fifty nine when I one
fifty Saturday, I said it was Saturday. Was Saturday? Okay?
So all right, So the woman with the small package
in her hand already fucking knew the doors were locked.
Has she yelled at you? No, the fact that she
walked by me and didn't mention while I was carrying

(31:51):
the large box by the way, sir, rather than walk
up the path and make a left and then struggle
open the doors, what you do? And she knew she
had the knowledge, and she could have warned you and
saved you all that grief and hey, hey, struggles they're closed,
just so you know they're closed. Yeah, I would give

(32:12):
them the courtesy. But wait a second, what if it was, uh,
you know, one of those two way locks where walking out,
she pressed pushes the door out and leaves. That's an
interesting idea. But no, I go to that post office.
It's a regular old door. Wait a second, she got handled,
there's no flappity flaps. She got out, no go in.

(32:33):
She knew the doors were locked, that's why she was
holding her I thought, I'm so sorry she would I
thought maybe she had just come from Look make an
excuses for the lady. Well, I want to think. I
want to believe that that people have your best interest
at heart, and that I want in this world. Have
you not been paying attention? I want to think about
the the best, the good in this world, that good

(32:53):
people out there. So I thought, maybe she was just
walking out of the post office and the door was
locked on the way in, but not on the way out,
because you could walk out but not in. But you're
telling me she clearly too got turned away because she
had the package in her hand. You assumed that that
was the case, and she didn't give you any warning either.
When I walked past her and saw the package, I thought, maybe,

(33:15):
all right, maybe she was there to pick up a package. Well,
maybe she was, And maybe that's what I'm saying. How
do you you're assuming she didn't get in. You didn't
see her walk out of the place or walk You
didn't see her walk up to the place. You only
saw her halfway back to her car, So you don't
know for a fact that she did that. She did

(33:36):
get in or you know, didn't get in. So scary
that the shrubs are not higher than I am. The
bush and the shrubs block the door, but you could
see if the door at the top of the door,
you would see the door open. My point was the
lights were already off in the post office. She knew.
That was all I'm saying is she didn't give you
the courtesy. She didn't give you the courtesy right. I

(33:58):
went to a post office once, so the doors were closed.
I went back down the steps, got in my car,
and as I was leaving, I saw someone was pulling up.
So I and I said, there was an old person
in the car. So I waited. I rolled down my window.
I waited from the stop, turned the engine off, rolled
down the window. I excuse me, And I said, don't
bother going up the steps, ma'am, because it was an
old lady. And don't bother going up those steps because
they're closed. You want to do that, I've seen you

(34:20):
in action with that stuff. But to her polite to
her defense, uh, you look shady. So I don't want
to get involved. Box. Why would I would have had
she had, she said, sir, the doors were closed, I
would have dropped my box and assaulted her right there.
That's that's the vibe people give what you one looking
there like, I don't want to talk to this guy.

(34:41):
I'm not gonna get involved. I'm gonna ignore, says angry
belligerent person than this face the post to the podcast.
You're the poster child for that. Yeah, exactly. Well, let
me give you another postal story. Can I give you
another postal story unless you have something? I mean I
have something, but we'll wait for No, it's just something
a little bigger. Oh no, the bigger is better. You

(35:03):
go with your bigger ones. Now one is a little thing. Look,
give me a little thing. Okay, speaking of on the
bing of my pants, I'll tell you a story about
the bathroom experience. I'll tell your bathroom experience. I didn't
get to tell you about last episode because it was
a couple of weeks ago. Remember I told you I
went to see an off Broadway show my friend Jeff.

(35:25):
And it's in the village and it's this little old,
like nineteen twenties theater, very old school like everything's like
built from like in the thirties. It's old, it's old place.
Well I went, I went to use the bathroom, and uh,
I said, where's the excuse me, sir, where's the men's room?
And the guy said it's right there. So I was, okay,

(35:47):
it's right there. We were in the balcony and there
was a concession stand and I went to the door.
I went in the bathroom and it's an old bathroom,
has like the radiators by the window and whatever. Has
it got the urinal all the way down to the
floor one of those? No, it didn't, it didn't. It
didn't have the old urinals which I found. Uh uh
uh it didn't. You know what it did have? It

(36:08):
had one of the ur urinals, if I remember correctly.
I don't remember if there were two, but I think
it was for the ladies out there. Urinals are just
usually these small, half sized things, and now the old
school ones, old ones from your shoulders all the way
down to the floor. It's crazy. It's like it's like
a body size urinal, like a man sized urinal. And

(36:30):
again I don't I gotta pronounce you. It's blurry. I
didn't need to peace. I don't remember if it was
a urinal or not. So I go in the stall,
very nice stall, I do my business. I come back out.
I'm washing my hands at the sink, and the other
stall door opens. Oh, okay, do we have and a
very pretty woman walks out. Uh who had just been

(36:51):
in the stall? Okay, and she comes to wash your
hands next to me. Now, I want to set the
stage here. I'm sure anyone who listens this podcast knows
I have no problem with women in the men's room
because I've been to football games where women come into
the men's room all the time. But it was weird
because I was at a play, I was at a show,

(37:12):
and you know, I'm washing my hand. It's just if
you don't expect it, it's unusual. And I was like,
and you know, because when you're in the bathroom, as
you know, I don't know how women are in the
bathroom by themselves. But the men are like, they're farting
and making noises and they don't care. They're not like,
they're not courtesy flushing, they're not trying to cover up
the noise. They don't give it. They don't like whatever

(37:33):
you hear all kinds of bathroom It was, yes, but
I didn't realize that. Okay, if you don't know it
in advance, but did you for a second they didn't
have urinals there? Because they did not. Now I said,
I don't remember the being Europe. They couldn't have been,
because then it would have been an all men's bathroom
because when it's well, it had to have been built

(37:54):
at some point. My point is, there may be two
bathrooms on the mezzanine level, right, but the one I
went into used to be a women's bathroom. I'm assuming.
I just don't remember if there were urinals there, or
these individual doors that each door there's a toilet and
a door, there's a door behind. So if someone's behind
a stall, I mean really, I have no reason to
care one way or another who's in the stall, male

(38:15):
or female. As as a man, I'm saying this. I'm
just saying it was weird to look over my shoulder,
like normally expect some burly looking fact that to come
out of their Yeah, who's like, ye, don't that shit up?
You know, because that's what guys do in the bathroom.
They like they awkwardly like brag about how they blew
it up. And this woman came out and she's powdering
her nose, and I'm like, well, this is refreshing. It's

(38:36):
actually nice to see a pretty person in the bathroom
as opposed to some big, fat guy who just blew
it up. Yeah, so that's all. I just yeah, it
was one of those stories. I was like, you know what,
that was an interesting story. It was a pleasant change
this And she said, you know what, she said to me.
We showed me the bathroom, washed my hands. What you say, shit, hello,
hi hello. She smiled and went and washed her hands.

(39:00):
Other guys usually don't do that. They always go, they
don't say hi, they just go fucking thing doesn't turn on.
Oh I got a scambony for you. Oh this is
fairly quick. You got the jingle let's get a bone.
And this is something that's happened to me several times before.

(39:24):
But also it was reminded. I was reminded because I
saw it on TikTok. A guy don't ask you for
train money. No, no, no, no, this is a scam.
Dollars no, no no. A lot of places when you
go to hotels and have sit down at the bar
or a restaurant usually attached to a hotel or in
a big tourist area, sure, specifically talking about South Beach, Miami,

(39:50):
where they they include the gratuity in those bills. So
if they they they jump, they put the twenty percent
on there for you. Okay, So now I remember this
happening quite a bit when I was in South Beach,
and now I'm wondering if I fell for it a
couple of times inadvertently. Whenever you get an answer is yes.
Whenever you get the check, what are you The first

(40:12):
thing you see is the itemized receipt. Then usually you
give them your credit card and they take the whole
thing away and they come back with your credit card.
But if they don't include the itemized bill on the
second go round, they've fucked you. They've scammed you because

(40:33):
they had the twenty percent built in, which you would
have seen on the itemized check. But now that it's
not in front of you and you just see the
total amount and then a gratuity line and your signature,
because that's like the secondary receipt, you would be more
prone and tricked into leaving a twenty percent gratuity because

(40:54):
you just you're you know, the knee jerk reaction is
what let me add twenty percent when you have already
left a forty percent tip at that point, because you
didn't you didn't realize that. In a lot of hotels, restaurants,
and places that are touristy, the gratuity is built in
and the only time it's listed is in the itemized

(41:16):
receipt in the very beginning, and they'll say twenty percenttuity.
So if you didn't notice it in round one, they
take your card away, you sign it, they bring it
back to you, you're kind of you're, you know, be
suspicious if they don't give you the receipt back with
the itemized copy again. A lot of times they'll just

(41:38):
remove that itemized copy. So they're like, it's like the
old bait and switch. Right. Well, you see, but you
had to paint the proper picture of that one hundred percent.
What you're saying is the warning that your tip is
included is correct, and then they put a line in
it that says additional tip. Right. You know who doesn't
fall for that? David Brody doesn't fall for that, right,
because David Brody looks immediately and knows that it if

(42:00):
the tip is already added. Because I want to know
I want to know, like, oh, is the eighteen to
twenty percent already included? Is this why the service sucks
because they know it's included already. Buyer beware if they
don't include the itemized bill on the second go round,
that means that means there's something something in the milk

(42:21):
clean No, no, it's not that they don't take it.
Guess what, But there's an opportunity to fuck you. You know,
it's those it's one of those well, like you know,
we won't tell them, but if it happens, it happens.
But most bars in restaurants though, let me finish here,
most bars and restaurants will give you. We'll keep it
there for you. So you get you get two three copies,
You get two and the third. Okay, there's no reason

(42:45):
to take the itemized bill out unless you want to
do something a little Yeah. Slices here here is here's
your homework slices. If you've ever been a server and
the tip was included and then somebody left the full
tip not realizing it, what have you done? What would
you do? Not tell them? And if you and if
you weren't a server, what would you do if you
were never been a server before. But let's say you are.

(43:06):
You were the server here and you got a twenty
three dollar tip, and then the personally went and put
a twenty one dollar tip one because they clearly didn't
realize it. Would you be like, wow, they must really
like me. You're like, oh, they fucked up, but I'm
not gonna tell them. Yeah, I hope there's some honest slices,
but will so leave us your what your real thoughts are. Yeah,
we're gonna have some different opinions of our slices. I

(43:28):
also have to tell you about my cousin Carmine and
what I am responsible for doing now And wait a minute,
did you get this? Did you get his ashes? I
got something to tell you in the slices, And it's
it's hard for me to talk about, but easy for
me to talk about in this podcast because we've gone
down this road in this podcast. All right, very good

(43:51):
and scary. But thefore the commercial break, did you insinuate
that my cousin Carmine has passed away? Yeah? I think
I could. Well. Which is the cousin That is the
painter who died. That's my great uncle Gino oh gino
them mind who could keep track slices of my right
Italian name is Vinny Guido. I don't know. I thought

(44:14):
you were talking about this is the one who has
the members only jackets exactly. They all sound like they
own pizzerias. I actually asked him. I asked because you
mentioned his ashes. I'm like what wait a second. Yeah,
But like I was like, oh, I got when I
said it. I'm like, oh, I think he's dead. Well,
so I no, my uh no, I'll say this. That's

(44:37):
what the story is about. It's it's about preparing for
his death. I mean, this morbid history of doing things
that are I don't know. Well, yeah, the headstones with
almost everybody's name on it, right, you remember when my
parents got that a couple of years back, and you know,
there's all this stuff to swirling around My aunt mill

(45:00):
Remember my aunt Millie the Emil story with my She
didn't we didn't tell her that her family member, yeah,
that her sister in law is dead. So we just
revealed it. We kept the ruse going for a while
that she was still alive. And then she Emily came
to Thanksgiving and we told her there at the table, like, oh,
where's Jenny, Oh, she died. What I told you? I

(45:24):
told you We lied to my my grandmother, right, yeah, yes,
my aunt her daughter died and we didn't tell her
because you know, medically they were told us like, oh,
my grandmother had like six months to live, so we're like, well,
don't tell her because you know why why upset her
for six months? And then she lived for a couple
of years. But to keep the lie going, why isn't
my daughter calling me? So you know she the phone's

(45:44):
not working?

Speaker 4 (45:46):
Right?

Speaker 2 (45:46):
So all kidding aside for a quick second, and there'll
be humor in this. You watch you wait and see
awkward humor. My cousin Krmine called me and said, hey,
look on the they all sound like they can own pizzias,
all the genos, the Commines and Joe. So my uncle
Joe and aunt Jenny both passed. Jenny was the one

(46:08):
who we lied to my aunt Milli about. Joe and
Jenny are the parents of Carmine. Okay, Carmine is a
single guy and bachelor. Yeah, bachelor and uh. He basically
came to me and said, yo, so I want you
to be the man. I'm like, what do you mean
to be? The man. Now, we were tight growing up.

(46:30):
He's a huge Met fan. So we've seen some games together,
we've gone, we we that's where we meet, that's our
common ground, that's where that's where we are weird. And
the bachelor thing, well, I guess so I But but
for the you know, living well living, he lives lived
at home. He still lives at home. He lives in
the same house he grew up, in his same bedroom
he had as a kid, and he never left the

(46:52):
nest and now he's in the nest by himself. So
being the closest person to him in my side of
the family, he like, Yo, I want you to be
the executor of my will. I want you to be
power of attorney. I want you to Look, this is
like heavy stuff, but he said, look, the thing is,
I need you to come to the funeral home with

(47:13):
me because everything's going to be set up. I don't
want to have to pay one you have to pay
a penny out of your pocket. I don't want anyone
to think about it when I pass. I just want
all the notes to be just you know, written, you know, unleashed,
and everything is going to be written out and everything's
gonna be paid for and it's all good, but I
just need you to be there to like kind of

(47:34):
facilitate things because someone has to be named. So I said, sure,
Carl will come down. So I went with him to
the funeral home a couple of days ago. This is wild,
brody and weird, it is. And we're sitting there with
the funeral director and we're talking about the future of
you know, Carmine's future death and how it's going to

(47:56):
play out, and you know the type of ceremony he wants,
you know, does he want these mass cards and like
the funeral directors holding up all this stuff, and you know,
he picked out a casket. So so you know, I
signed all the papers and I get through all of
it with some jokes, and you know Carmine, you know,
he's just like he's he's a barrel of laughs. He's

(48:19):
I wish he would have come on the podcast. He
didn't want to come on, but he said, yeah, I
tell the story. So one ques at the very end, sorry, one,
you get a discount for this stuff? Yeah? Do you
get twenty twenty five pricing for Yeah, he lives on
the twenty so and that's that's a public service to
the slices. The the major advantage you have of doing
all this. Here's your big win for listening. Here's the win.

(48:42):
Here's it. You want Boggins, you want discounts, you want coupons. Yeah,
I'm aware of this. Yeah. Plan at your funeral from front,
in its entirety, from beginning to end, everything that would
any cost that would affiliated with it. And you are
locked in on prices for things for a lot of
the stuff. So and it's going to be there for

(49:05):
you in a separate fund. By the way, the funeral
home doesn't hold it. It goes to like a funeral
fund where you can choose to use the credit anywhere
you want. But anyway, it's good and it's important to
have your place put where your final resting place, maybe
because you're locking in at twenty twenty five prices, and
all these prices do is go up. In fact, he

(49:27):
showed me like like my grandparents planned their stuff. My
aunt Milly planned this stuff in the nineties, and we
buried her two years ago, and we conceive the disparity
of how much the price would have been if it
was tim today's world. So it's Brody Brodie, this this guy,
your name written all over login. Hey my aunt died,

(49:47):
but boy did I save some money. So everything was
going well up until after all the papers were signed
and I got through it and we were laughing and whatever,
and then the funeral director goes, well, so you want
to pick out your your your casket? Oh god, I couldn't.
And I'm like, I'm looking at him, and he's like,
he goes, yeah, what the hell? So he, the funeral director,

(50:12):
takes the both of us downstairs to a room where
all these it's like a showroom of caskets. I felt
like I was in a a in a a car dealership.
You know, You're walking around and he's seeing all the models.
You've seen all the model caskets, and they're all all
been of course, there's nothing in them. They're they're brand new,
and they're He didn't. He didn't get in to see

(50:32):
how they feel, right. He joked that he wanted to go.
And I'm like, you're not going in this now, No
you're not. But you know, and he didn't. You have
to understand calmine to really grasp the story, because this
is the kind of guy he is. He just get
this straight. This catch, this is this is a catch.
How is he still single? Ladies, he's on the market.

(50:54):
There's there's still timet time, his funeral is all paid
up and ever mean he's paid for. You're sliding to
a situation, you know. So he basically we went downstairs
and he's kind of like, all right, so maybe this
model here is they inexpensive by the way they arrange
from like three thousand dollars to like you could spend
like twenty five thirty thousand dollars maybe more on a casket,

(51:17):
depending on if you want you know, uh, steel like
stainless steel versus copper, or you want you want subwoofers
and amps and they have extra speakers. Yeah, and he's
like looking around, he goes, he goes, what the hell
do I care? I mean, Dad, no one's gonna even
say this damn thing. And I'm like, well, wait a
second call. You know you are connected to the church.
He still is. He does a lot for the church.

(51:39):
I said, you can you get a church discount? No,
I said, why do Why don't you you would think,
but I said, you know, you do have a lot
of these people from the church that may come see you,
So maybe you want to you want something a little
bit you know, has some like etched things on the side,
because there's because there's all kinds of styles and each
style has oh you know, you know it has like
he could start to go fund the dead met maybe

(52:03):
that could be like a new thing. So he settled
on a nice, moderately priced casket, and I looked at
him like, dude, what the hell are you might as
well go out in style, bro, I'm like, you know,
want to be the richest guy in the cemetery, Just
you know, get one of the more expensive ones. So
he got maybe he leaves you in the whale, dumb ass, dude,
who's gonna get all Who's gonna get all his millions?

(52:25):
I'm not thinking about that right now. He's got to
sell that house someday. I'm not thinking about that right now.
I have nephews, don't forget. I got nephews, I got cousins,
we got people. You're an executour, I know. So all right,
So anyway, nephews, we picked out something. I helped him
pick out a moderately priced something that was kind of like, yeah,

(52:45):
this is this is respectable. Let me ask you a question.
If the caskets were cars. You obviously didn't get the
BMW of caskets, and you didn't. I'm not going to
insult anyone who owns a cheap car, but you didn't
get a cheap key is a very nice the logo
is not kidding. Let's go from key to BMW. I'm

(53:07):
kind of like at ah, I think he picked out
the the the souped up Honda Accord. All right, well
that's nice Toyota Camry. He wait, a fully loaded Toyota Camry.
All right, but key is these days are more expensive
than than the camera. Then it's a bed, all right.
Then maybe it's maybe it's more maybe maybe it's a Lexus,

(53:29):
Maybe it's a lect maybe maybe you know, maybe like yeah, yeah, okay,
BMW is in the top of the line either, So
it's like no, but I'm in this scenario. It is
because you're a guy. You're a BMW guy. Yeah, well,
you got a Dodge charger that you're saying anyway, I was,
I kind of tell you it's no, it's made of
like a stainless steel. It's it's like a yeah that

(53:50):
would protected himself from the elements. Yeah, it's not. Yes, Next,
levels no worms nice next level? Yeah that would so yeah.
I mean I don't know how to feel about this,
but like I in the moment, as awkward as it was,
I got through it. But I don't know, man, this

(54:11):
this is a lot for me to take on to
just what kind of casket would you get? No, that's
the whole point of this, Like, I don't I'm not
thinking about this. Do you want to be? You want
to be? But yeah, you want the tire package on
the casket, But would you do that? Would you go
around picking out your future your future home? If anyone,

(54:36):
If anyone's listening, and I listen, I don't have plans
on dying, but I got a knock on wood? Yeah,
I like a nice cherry wood, nice dark wood? Or
do I do like a baseball batwood? You know, like
a like a lighter wood, like a you know, but
I would I think a darker wood. I don't like blackwood. Okay,
although the metal thing keeps the worms out kind of

(54:58):
like that? Has any of the slices been through this?
Oh a kiss casket. You're there with living people and
you're picking out something for your future when you're not
going to be living. But that I've had enough. I've
had a hard time picking out caskets for people that
are no longer here, right because you're like, because you're thinking,

(55:20):
because there's I'll be honest with you, when you're picking
out a casket for someone, that's because you didn't plan
ahead on the casket right way. You're like, huh, what
would they buy? Well, I know they were brugal, so
you know, yeah, so I'm not going to go with you.
I had myself, and no one's going to see it

(55:41):
after five minutes. That's true. And it's done. Once it's
in the ground, its permanent, so right, once you take
all the pictures and video. But the process of you know,
going through this, these motions, not doing that, not doing that.
I meet the car shopping, I'm not going a funeral shop,
right and and you know he was. He's right now,

(56:04):
he's like perfectly fine, and he's walking around and he's
doing his thing. He's like he's in his early sixties.
But like I said, hopefully you don't have I said,
hopefully you don't have to deal with this for like,
you don't have to see this for like thirty years,
you know, forty years, God willing but is he financing
it or just payd cas No, just no, he's retired.

(56:24):
He's good. But he did the whole thing. He's right
right writing checks for them. So, and what happens if
this funeral home goes away before again? It goes into
a fund where you're see. That was what it was
explained to me, and that's what that's questions. I had
to understand that it goes to a fund that basically
when at the time comes and I get a phone
call to like, oh hey, buddy, you're up at bad here.

(56:47):
What are we doing? I get to choose either stay
with this place or go somewhere else because it's in it.
It's in almost like escrow. What the escrow is for
funeral Now, look, I'm not going to hit yeah, I'm
knocking on wood. Do you have a backup? No, I'm no.
I mean, like, if he lives to like one hundred

(57:08):
and five, God forbid, something happens. I don't want to
think about these things. This is really tough to talk
about it right now, Jones, I'm stumbling my way through
this conversation. Who would you pick Robin? You'd pick Robin
right to be your executor of everything. Yeah, I guess.
Or no, someone has to be someone probably younger. No,
it would have probably one of my nephews, next of kin.

(57:29):
It can't be somebody that's on your timeline. Oh no,
I guess it could. Well, it can be, but you know,
you may have to redo the whole damn thing. So
it may be null and void. So you're supposed to
pick like a next null and voids your nephews. No,
my nephews would be like like where Like I just
I just asked you if your nephews were null and void.

(57:50):
It was a joke, hyo to Italian to Italian nephews
noll and void and void. But yeah, yeah, anyway, I
don't know had he hold me ahead of time that
we would be doing all of that, I probably would
have been like maybees all the time. And so did
you go looking at locations like plots and stuff? No,
so you don't know where he's being buried. No, No,

(58:12):
that's all said and done. That's all taken care of
for him. Now he's part of his family's thing. Yeah, okay,
oh all right, it's got chills? Are they multiplying? I listen, slice,
So what do you think slices leave his talkbacks. How
do you feel about that radio app behind the microphone
button that moves around every time you update the app on?

(58:33):
I think it's your phone. It's a red circle these days. Okay,
all right, so yeah circle, let us know what you
would you would have done? Is this a great move
to save money? Or uh kind of creepy and weird?
And would you do it for a friend or a
family member? I don't know. Oh, I don't all right.

(58:55):
I got a sound clip from this weekend's football game
and uh it just it. I posted the video on
Twitter and right away Shady jew Mobster was like, oh
my god, I heard that. I was like, podcast, so
I have to play this because, uh it's Tony Romo
and he's calling a play during the Bills Chiefs game.
Although I guess it's technically the Chiefs Bills game, but
it's involving the quarterback of the Bills. Hold on the second,

(59:22):
Josh Allen on, you see to pretend fake? And you
to lie here again, what kind of plays you see
to pretend fake? And it's a pretend pretend fake that's
like a does that make it real? That's redundant, right,

(59:45):
it's no because a fake is a fake is a play.
So it's a pretend to fake. No, but he actually
did a fake. You can't pretend fake. He faked it. Oh,
so faked the play he went through with was a fake. No,
he fake fake fake to hand off. He faked hand off,
the hand off and then ran the ball. But you

(01:00:07):
can't have a pretend fake no, No, because how would
you How would you do a pretend fake? Would you
pretend to give him the ball, then not give him
the ball, then give him the ball? Fake? Right? You can't.
I can't pretend fake. Yeah. Yeah, so Tony Ramol, Sorry,
we're done. Fake, We're done. Here is my big this

(01:00:29):
will be the big finish for the for the podcast.
But I need your help. I don't think I'm wrong here. So, uh,
my friend Eric and I went to lunch from the
It's Eric Nagel Show. Check it out if you have
a chance. And he says, oh, let's try someplace new
like He's like, I saw this place on Instagram. We

(01:00:49):
should go. I said, okay, great, Well, let me let
me check out the menu. They serve meats, meat, sandwiches,
and known for Yeah, I said, let me check out
the menu online and I'll see if there's something you
know that I like and then we'll go. So I
look and I go, okay, I want the two meat combo. Right,
they have like strami and corn beef and turkey and

(01:01:13):
something else a brisket, And I was like, you know what,
I'm gonna get corn beefrom pistrami. Those are my two
favorite of the hot meats. I'm gonna order a two
meat combo. It's it's I know what the price is,
sixteen ninety five. This way when I go, I don't
have to like look at the menu. I'm ready to go.
And by the way, if I was with you, I
would have to get the three meat combo because I
like pastrami, corn beef, and brisket. All it is like

(01:01:37):
does brisket is like like a third cousin. Like brisket's
like like brown meat, and it's like it's beefy tasting.
The brisket is corned beef, except it's prepared differently, right,
it's different corned beef. It's corned. The brisket is put
in the oven. Right. Anyway, I like all three, but
my favorite combo with like corn and it's on the menu.

(01:02:01):
It's called the two meat Combo and it says pick
two meats excellent, yep, okay. So we go and it's
one of these places where you have to go up
to the counter and order. So Eric says, I'll sit
at the booth, you go up to the counter and order.
All right. We've never been there before, and is it's
a it's a working class kind of place, lunch pale,
kind of crowd, right, and it's not that busy. So

(01:02:23):
I go right up to the counter and there's a
guy there behind the counter and he like the countertop
is like you know, chin level, where like you can
make eye contact with the guy. And you could see
the cutting board. Uh right, you know you could see
it's all glass. You can see the cutting board that
right he stands in front of and he doesn't speak
English tremendously well. He said, uh, what do you want?

(01:02:49):
And I said, uh, I'll have the two meat combo here.
Come on, yeah, I said, h the two meat combo.
Oh buy? So I said, yeah, the two two. I
hold up my fingers too. I go two meat combo
corn beef and pistrami. So he slices the pistrami, and

(01:03:11):
he puts that. He puts down two pieces of rye bread,
and he starts slicing the pistrami and he gives me
a little on a plate and I'm like, oh, little taste.
That was so good, so good, scary, and and I said,
you know, and corn beef, and he says, I'm both.
So I'm like, yeah, of course I'm both has because
he's you know, he's figures making me right, Okay. So

(01:03:34):
I'm not really watching him, and I said, oh, I
look to my left while he's making the sandwiches and
and and is the people making the soup or at
least doing like the side orders? So I said, so
I'm like, should I get massa ball soup or I
get a candish or something? I said, you know what,
give me matz of ball soup. So I'm talking to
the other people behind the counter and I'm not really

(01:03:55):
watching what he's doing. And uh, he says, uh, what
do you want on it? Mustard? I said, no Russian dressing.
So I he takes the Russian dressing and I see it.
I trust him, which is a little bizarre for some
cornstra but each talking about a ruben comes with Russian
dressing and samakrawt. You're going to tell a Jew how
to eat corn beefstrangen, it's gotta be with mustard. But okay,

(01:04:17):
it doesn't Russian dressing anyway, So I go and can
you melt some Swiss on there? Okay? So whatever he's
doing fair enough, I'm not paying not paying attention anyway.
He didn't ask me if it was to stay it
a go. And I see he's like he's wrapping up
stuff and he throws it in the bag and he
hands me the bag. So I'm like, uh, fuck it,
you know, because it's he wrapped the sandwiches in that
that tinfoily like metallic metal, not aluminum foil, but that

(01:04:39):
standard sandwich to go rap where one side is white
and the other side is the foil metal to keep right, okay,
classic right. And he throws it, puts in the bag
and whatever. So I get the food and and and uh,
the soup comes up. I said, the soup's for here,
I said, Uh, he goes, oh, it's sandwich to me here.

(01:05:01):
I said, Now, don't worry about it. Don't wry about it,
because I'm right, I don't want to. I don't want
to get into it. Just it's fine. So I take
the bowl of soup in the plate and the bag,
and I'm looking for someplace to pay. And I look
to my right and it's like at the end of
the counter. Connected to the end of the counter is
like a half dome column and it's plexiglass where it
looks like somebody might stand behind it. But there's no

(01:05:23):
slot like to hand money. I don't see stickers like
we accept credit cards. I don't say anything, so I'm like, God,
I'm gonna go sit down and I'll let Eric figure
it out when he goes up to order. So I
sit down and go Eric, Look, I don't know where
to pay, so just when you go up there, when
you pay, let me know and I'll go pay. So
I sit down and I'm watching people and they're all
ordering food at the counter at the at the countertop,

(01:05:45):
getting the food and going to sit down. Sure I
don't see anybody paying, and there's nobody there besides the
guys in the cooks that don't speak English making the food.
So I'm like, I don't figure it out. So I
eat my soup. It's pretty good, not too much, No dill,
which was good. And I reach into the bag and

(01:06:05):
I feel, I feel there's two things wrapped and they're heavy.
So I take one out and I'm like, oh, he
must have wrapped each half separately because they're so fucking big.
He puts so much meat on it. So I open
it up and it's it's a whole sandwich. So I go,
it's weird. Oh boy. So I reach in the reach

(01:06:26):
in the bag and I see there's another sandwich made.
He made me two sandwiches. But what did you pay for?
I haven't paid found anything. You're not listening. Oh pay?
So Eric comes back and I said, Eric, did you pay? No?
I don't know way to pay. There's no place to play.
This is not a big restaurant. You walk in. There's
like three booths on the left, a couple of tables

(01:06:48):
on the right, and a counter in the back, like
a Chinese takeout place. Not very big. Oh okay, I'm
trying to picture it. Okay, all right. So we're eating,
I'm like, holy shit, I got another huge ass sandwich here.
First of all, I didn't order it. Second of all,
I'm not paying another seventeen dollars plus tax for something
I didn't order and I can't give it back. It's

(01:07:08):
got Russian dressing on it. They can't take it back.
So I'm like, well, I'll figure it out. I don't.
I don't know what I'm gonna do. Figure it out.
So then I hear somebody say what do you pay here,
as the guy the next table goes, I don't know.
So nobody knew like how to pay. So some woman
is coming by. There's no place to throw a garbage out.
They don't have a garbage box, so she's sweeping the

(01:07:29):
floor and she's picking up garbage off a couple of
tables as people get up, and the guy says, excuse me,
where do you pay? And by the way, there's a
refrigerator where you walk over, get a can of soda, potato, salad,
whatever you want. It's all there in this big refrigerator
that suits you perfectly. You're very used to just opening
up refrigerators and shut up, shut up. I grabbed free soda, okay,

(01:07:51):
one time, stop it, okay, So I say he She goes, oh,
I'll take the money. So I'm like, all right, well,
I guess she's the one you pay. So she goes
behind this call this little semi circle, and he goes,
what did you have? And I hear him say I
had this, this, and this, and she goes, okay, she
takes his word for it, so then she goes back
to sweeping. And then the other guy says, do people

(01:08:15):
just walk out here all the time and don't pay?
I don't think so she says, never seen it, And
I'm thinking to myself, well, that's the whole point. You
wouldn't have seen it, Like Eric and I could have
gotten up and left. We didn't even see it yet.
System at a place, and I would never leave. I've
been to places like that where there's not even a
sign that says, because it's understood, you're gonna order, you're

(01:08:37):
gonna sit down, you're gonna eat, you can enjoy your meal,
and then you settle up. Afterwards, you just stand up
and you go over. That's what any decent human being
would do. Yes, well, here comes the problem because you're indecent.
No I'm not. I'm very decent, very honest and moral.
When when something's right, it's right, and what's wrong it's wrong.
So I go up, I say, excuse me, I need
to pay for my food.

Speaker 4 (01:08:58):
What you have?

Speaker 2 (01:09:01):
So I said I had a Matza bowl soup bowl.
She says, okay, she hits it in the register, and
I said, I had a two meat combo with call
me from a STRAWMI. So she says, you had two sandwiches.
I said two meat combo. Yeah, but you said two.
So I said, yeah, but on the website you call

(01:09:23):
it a too meat combo. Yeah, but you said too,
so I assumed you had too. You had one, I said, yeah,
I ordered one. So she wrings here for one, and
I sell about the can of soda and I paid
twenty four dollars whatever it was right, And I go
back and I sit down, and eric's what happened? I go. I.
I told her what I ordered, Just what did you order?
I ordered a two meat to meat combo. But when

(01:09:45):
I said it to her, she also thought I meant
two sandwiches, because she also didn't speak one hundred percent
of mean while you're about to walk out with the
sandwich you didn't pay for. Well, there's my question. If
I tell her, now, hold on, if I tell I
got a second sandwich, either, she's gonna ask me to
pay for it, which I didn't order. She's gonna take

(01:10:05):
it back. Hold on, She's gonna take it back and
throw it away, which is which is a damn shame,
or the cook's gonna get in trouble for giving me
an extra sandwich. This is the only way everybody ends
up happy. There's no way was she getting money from me.
So the only way we knew what to believe me,
we all assumed that that was definitely not. That's forego

(01:10:27):
this podcast. Hold on show. I am a very honest person.
I didn't realize I had a second sandwich. I already
started eating first one, and I can't give the second
one back. And by the way, just to clarify here,
when I think two meat combo, I think the pastrami
and the cornby. He didn't mistakenly do a sandwich of
all pastrami and a sandwich of all cornby, right, No,

(01:10:49):
he put half cornby fa pastrami on bolt. So I'm
wondering where the translation of the two two meat combo
I've gotten lost, especially since they did, I mean have
a limited and they deal with the same items every day.
All I could think of, remember that phone tap I
did on that on that on that guy the twenty
two pound twenty He wanted a twenty two pound turkey,

(01:11:10):
and I called him and said, yeah, you're twenty two
pounds turk. Okay. I I think now in retrospect, he
may have thought, I said I want two meat combos. Ah,
but on the menu it's actually called a two meat combo.
It's if you're reading it en off the menu and
you wanted two of them, I would have to say

(01:11:31):
that you would have ordered to two meat common combo. Yeah,
two two meat combos, right. But when I said it
to her and him, they both took it as two
meat combos. Oh shit, But it's on I checked the menu, ma'am.
That happens every day at that place. I could already
tell that happens every day. Well that don't call it

(01:11:51):
a too meat combo, or ask me how many sandwiches
I want, or just call it. Just call it the
pastrami co you know, pastrami, corn beef comba. Call it that, right,
call it right. But again, I went on the website
the night before to check it, and it's called so
slices number one. Would you have given the sandwich back
the minute you realized there was two or would you

(01:12:11):
have just paid for the second one, because he got
the second one even though you didn't order it, and
I'm not going to eat it for a couple of
days now. I already had the one, you know, it
was so big, scared, I had half of it and
half of the first one. I ate to half of
the second one today and the second one. I mean,
I eat for two or three days. It's so friggin big,
and it's very good. I think all right. Personally, I

(01:12:35):
think you should have told her at the time of
the ringing up of the bill. I didn't want to
get him in trouble and I didn't want to pay.
That's for you to decide, just to clear your conscience.
I would say, my conscience is fine, Oh of course
it is. But my conscience would have been, like, I
can't lie to this woman because I am in possession

(01:12:57):
of two sandwiches, one of the other one. Nope, she said,
what did you order? I ordered ah to meat combo. Right, well,
I would have say what did you have it? I
would have I would have said, look, I ordered a
to one to meat combo, but they handed me two sandwiches. Uh.
And I would show her the second sandwich and and

(01:13:18):
and say I'm not going to pay for this other sandwich,
what would you like me to do with it? And
then ask her what you would like her to do
with it, and then leave it in her hands. What
she because then at leaves were open to saying you
know what, take it, and the alternative is you know what,
I'll take it. So you didn't want to lose that

(01:13:41):
free sandwich. No, No, that's what is. I didn't want
to get charged for it. And I thought if I
said I got two sandwiches, she'll go we'll have to
charge you for it. I didn't want to get into
an argument someone that doesn't speak fluent English. So then
then then you would have given it back and said no,
I didn't order this, so here take it. You're not
charging me, and I would have walked out without the
second sandwich. All right, that's an option, but you are

(01:14:03):
You're like, no, well, I got to answ with you.
The first one was so good, so good, I'll go back.
I'll be a customer again, for sure. But I wasn't
trying to take advantage. As much as I know you
fell into it. It'll it just happened. It happened, and
I fall into these things. Speaking of court, and before
we get out of here, a couple of things, some housekeeping.

(01:14:25):
First of all, I the Super Bowl is going to
feature a reunion between Billy Crystal and who was when
Harry met Sally. When Harry met Sally was was Meg Ryan?
Meg Ryan? Right? So it's going to have them at
CATS's Deli. Because I saw the behind the scenes, the

(01:14:46):
shooting of the video of the of the commercial.

Speaker 4 (01:14:49):
Yeah, it's is this a client of some kind of Nope, okay, nope, nope, nope,
this is this is a travesty that's gonna unfold because
if I'm gonna I'm gonna pay pointed now that we're
going to be having this cover this argument on Super
Bowl Monday.

Speaker 2 (01:15:05):
So in the filming of this commercial, Harry and Sally,
the characters are sitting at the table at kats His
Deli where it was originally filmed in the eighties, and
that's where the classic conversation happened, where she was having
an orgasm, and then the woman in the next table
says the famous line, not neither of one, I'll have

(01:15:27):
what she's having. That's the famous line, which by the way,
is not uttered by neither of the two primary characters.
It's a it's an old woman. Double negative, it's an
old woman. I'm just trying to say, it's Rob Ryiner's mother,
Rob Reiner's mother. In this case, it's Sydney Sweeney, right,
she delivers the line. But here's the thing. He's eating

(01:15:48):
a pastrami on rye. But you know what the product
is that they're advertising. And what is clearly in the
scent in the in the center of the table the
whole reason for the commercial and who paid the bill
for it? No, Helman's mayonnaise. Yeah, you don't put mayonnaise

(01:16:08):
on anything, That's what I'm saying. So people are gonna
the world is gonna see this commercial. Oh it's vomit.
And two am sitting across from each other, you know,
and he's he's literally eating a pastrami. I could see
the pastrami on rye or cornby fun rye. I think
it was pastrami mayonnaise. And and they're like, and then

(01:16:29):
do the whole bit. Oh, we're back here at this place,
and I'll have what she's having, I mean, and the
Helman's mayonnaise. And by the first of all, kats Is
does not from what I remember, put mayonnaise on the table,
but on this specific table at Kats's Deli, there's a
bottle of mayonnaise. There's no mustard or or catch are

(01:16:50):
they implying a billy crystal? A Jewish man went to
Kats's Delight, ordered a pistrami on rye and put mayonnaise
on it. Okay, to be continued because they did show
They didn't show the whole commercial in full. They showed
outtakes and some scenes and I couldn't see what was
on the sand At one point, the top of the

(01:17:13):
sandwich came off and there was nothing. I didn't see
anything on the sandwich. It was it was just a
pstrong like like the top half of the bread. The
rye for the top half fell off as he's talking
and and there was nothing on there. So I can't
accuse him of putting mayo on there. But talk about
like wrong place, wrong time, or wrong product. There's will

(01:17:36):
talk about this after the Super Bowl slices and why
you start thinking about this? Okay? For me, mayonnaise on
a pistrami sandwich is like, oh my god, how could
you do that? Right? What is it that you eat?
In your part of the country, your culture. Like if
you're from the South and someone put ketchup on ribs,
you'd vomit, right, Yeah, Like you can't put ketchup on
barbecue ribs. Well, you live in Texas. There must be

(01:17:59):
some like you. You can't put a garlic a holi
on corn bread, Like there must be something where you go,
oh no, you can't do that. Heleland Helman's spent a
lot of money to be part of the Super Bowl
and get these two actors back and Sydney Sweeney and
to go to the original Catches Deli where it was
filmed and do those lines and literally just just kind
of wax nostalgic. But but I feel like their product

(01:18:21):
is misplaced because you would not see I just don't
think you see mayonnaise on a table in Kats's deli.
You just don't. It's I mean, it's mustard and ketchup.
You know. Maybe, you know, maybe if Heines wanted to
do a bit, then maybe you gotta you know, or
Gouldin's then now you got it. Now you got something there. Now,
in all fairness, I did not see what Meg Ryan

(01:18:43):
was eating. There was a sandwich there it didn't look
like PASTRAMI say, she could be eating the mayo. Maybe
that mayo. See here's the thing scary. If the mayo
gave her the orgasm, which is why she's so good
bullying the food. So a right, Maybe she put the
mayo on a chicken salad sand sandwich. It was maybe
it was turkey, I don't know, something with lettuce, but anyway,

(01:19:04):
maybe it was something that what mayo is is permissible.
That makes more sense now because she's the one having
the orgasm. In Sydney Sweeney, we'd go, I'll have what
she's having. Yeah, okay, now I feel better, But slices
still tell us what you can't put that on that.
Then if that's the case, then they were very smart
to not make her eat corn beef because they're like

(01:19:25):
America would be like were you kidding me? Well, not
all parts of America. Some people put mayonnaise on everything.
I want to hear about it. If you put mayonnaise
on corn beef for prestrom listen, I noticed people who
put corn beef on mayonnaise on roast beef sandwiches and
ham sandwiches. Well to be continued, because I didn't see
the Who commercial. I just saw the outtakes of it.
And finally, and finally, we need a favor. If you've

(01:19:48):
listened this far into the podcast, that you got all
the way to the end, that means you are a
true fan. You are a slice for life, and we
appreciate you, okay so much so that we need our
slice army to go to the iHeartRadio app and drop
a review for your Brooklyn boys because we're at a
four point six. On the Apple podcast we're four point eight,

(01:20:12):
but our hometown homegrown app iHeartRadio, we are at a
four point six. Now, I didn't go into depth. I
didn't see any of the reviews. I'm asking you kindly.
Brody's asking you if you could kindly drop a five,
drop five stars for us, like you just had the
uber ride of your life. Please. I don't think that's

(01:20:34):
too much to ask for. The Yeah, I mean we gave,
we gave, we gave Funeral Advice today free four point six?
How the mighty have fallen on our hometown native app.
Come on, and it's over five hundred reviews too that
are on there, so you know you know what it is.
We must get exposure from people that aren't Brooklyn Boys
listeners and some of them don't get it. Yeah, I

(01:20:55):
saved it till the end because I know the true
warriors will go to battle for us, and we appreciate
you for that. If you could maybe up until you
set your Harry met Sally story by the way, you
see the way they do the Harry met Sally where
they're like, oh, they're so old now they're in their seventies. Yeah,
we need hot young Sydney Sweeney to lean over. So
like in the movie they had an old lady saying it,

(01:21:16):
now they have a younger girl saying right, because it
was right exactly. Yeah, the hot girl with the big boobs.
Once Mayonnaise, that's that ship, seld.

Speaker 3 (01:21:26):
I go.

Speaker 2 (01:21:28):
Through the roof right now, So see as soon, boys, boys,