September 2, 2025 • 28 mins
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I was so excited to talk to you, and especially
when I found out that you say's screenwriting.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Yeah, that is freaking awesome.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
But also, is it harder to write for a TV
show or for a movie or for songs?
Speaker 3 (00:14):
Fabulous question.
Speaker 4 (00:15):
I think it's much easier to write a song than
it is to write a movie or a TV show.
I mean, granted, I'm young, I haven't had a ton
of experience, so I guess I can only just speak
for me, But I find a song to be much
easier to write. There's more of an immediate kind of
knowing of if it's good or not, just because it
requires like a melody that you find fun and good,
(00:39):
and then also lyrics. It's a just shorter than a
movie or TV show, and I think you have to
have a lot of inner strength and commitment to follow
through and actually write an entire episode of a TV
show or a movie.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
Yeah, I just think song is easier for me.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
What is it like putting out something? Because I feel
like with music, it's something that's very vulnera to you
versus like a TV show or something else you're writing for.
It's almost like more the character you have to get into.
Speaker 4 (01:06):
Yeah, It's interesting the vulnerability aspect because I never felt
vulnerable writing a song. I weirdly, I feel like that
was the combination of writing for TV and movies. I
always feel like I was crafting a story as opposed
to wearing my heart on my sleeve when I was
writing songs. But I guess there is the vulnerable part,
which is being the face of the stories. And yeah,
(01:29):
I mean, I still am learning about this job, so
so far I feel fine. And I also think it
can be curved by not looking so often at what
people are saying about you, which is I mean, if
someone comes up to you on the street and yells
in your face their opinion, that's one thing. But to
just try not to look online that is actually something
(01:49):
you can control. So I don't feel too vulnerable yet,
But who's to say what happened in the future.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Might just do you get Wait, do you get anyone
who yells at you like in the street a lot?
Speaker 4 (01:59):
Like? Oh no, not at all, but I could one day,
and I hope they're nice if they're raising their voice
at least.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
I mean, that'd be like the nice thing to do.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
But well, speaking of your album just came out last week,
who's the clown? How many people are you allowed to
show the album to, like top to bottom before it's
actually released?
Speaker 3 (02:20):
Kind of?
Speaker 4 (02:20):
I mean at my level, which was which is brand new,
whoever I wanted. I feel like there came a point
where I started to feel a little bit more protective,
just because I would send it to my mom and
she'd be like, can I send it to Gail Oka,
Debbie Tiff, you know other Debbie, and I'd always be like, yeah,
And then at a at a certain point, I started
to be like, let's hold on to it a little bit,
(02:42):
but yeah, I show. I showed all my friends and family.
I was super excited, just because I didn't yet have
the gratification of people out in the world listening, so
I was looking for praise wherever I could get it.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
I would send it to everyone.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
Have you gotten any feedback from listeners who like fans
of yours who have listened to the whole album and
just like on the street or while you're walking around
or randomly like that.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
Yet not on the street.
Speaker 4 (03:04):
But I did play a little radio show in Portland
yesterday and it was cool to have and I met
everybody afterwards who came in It was nice for the
first time to have people talk about the whole album
as opposed to just a few songs. And then just
the messages I've been getting online have been overwhelmingly thoughtful
and positive and heartfelt. So I'm flying high.
Speaker 3 (03:26):
Oh that's nice. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Your album is described as a pop slash alternative pop
that blends with vulnerability and filmic storytelling that features cinematic
vibes with emotional storytelling.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Would you say this is an accurate presentation of the
album or how would you describe it if different?
Speaker 4 (03:41):
I find that to be very complimentary. Cinematic, filmic are
totally you know, just compliments.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
I think.
Speaker 4 (03:49):
However, unless it's negative, I feel like however people want
to describe the music is totally fine. The only thing
I don't like is bubblegum pop.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
I don't think i'd like that either, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (03:58):
Because that just I think imply as like an airheadedness
that I, you know, feels annoying.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
You're like, not quite, but thanks exactly.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
I will say, when I was listening to your music,
it did feel very like storytelling vibes. There's a few
lyrics that I have of yours that I brought up
that later on. I wanted to like decode and go
through them first. Several when I was looking through it,
I was like, oh my gosh, wait a.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Second, I was like, why do I feel like I
just like watched a.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Movie or like literally went through a whole. It's like
in every single song. Also, I felt that way, So
thank you, I do.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
I think that's really cool.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
But also your album cover. Yeah, I have a really
big question about this. So your album cover. I printed
it because when I was younger, I really wanted to
be like the Jimmy's on the late.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
Night talk shows.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
Oh, totally.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
They have usually a vinyl Yeah, I don't have a
record player.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Yeah, but there's a clown.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Now, when you think of a clown, first off, in
a big As session in the studio the other day,
about this, When you think of a clown, do you
think of like a creepy, scary, low key be a
guy that has like candy and a van of guy
or a nice cute guy at birthday parties who like
blows up blue animals.
Speaker 4 (05:06):
Oh these are questions I have not been asked before.
I'm so appreciative. I it's both. I think both I've
experienced in person the latter kind of clown you described.
I've not yet in my life been around a really
legit creepy clown like the one on the album cover.
(05:27):
That was sort of my first experience. But I was
dead set on there being prosthetics and the clown being
legitimately scary. That was I knew I wanted scary imagery
on the cover of my album, just because I think
it grabs your attention, It makes you go, what kind of.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
Music is this?
Speaker 4 (05:43):
That pretty accurate, and so yeah, that was that was
always the plan from pretty early on in writing the songs.
I knew it would be called Who's the Clown? I
knew there'd be really scary clown on the cover.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
So is that what you wanted the album to be named?
First and foremost? Like the first thing you kind of
came up with was, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
Well it was I.
Speaker 4 (06:00):
I have a song on the album called Sex in
the City that I was the first song that I
worked super super hard on, and the night after I
finished it, that morning, I woke up sort of was
woken up very early, and I just had the cover
in my head, just the first the photo, and then
I thought a funny title to go with it would
be Who's the Clown? Because there's an actual clown on
(06:20):
the photo and then there's me and so and yet
yet I'm still left wondering. So it never changed that.
That was like I had written four songs at that point,
and I knew it would be called Who's the Clown?
And I knew, yeah, that would be the cover.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Was there someone actually on set that day who just
like fully put together or did they come in after
like later on and they just kind of like added
him in the picture?
Speaker 3 (06:40):
Oh the clown.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
No, I was taught with, worked with, like not worked with,
but was in talks with this prosthetics artist for weeks
before and she would send me molds and I sort
of Actually, there's this website that I'm forgetting the name
of that has all these like ready made molds for
clowns and scary things and stuff like that, and actually
(07:04):
this was one.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
That is like, it's the face of a really creepy.
Speaker 4 (07:07):
Man, and then we just added a clown nose on
to it, but it's all prosthetics, And yeah, I was
I could not. I was so excited when I saw
him fully done, because it took hours for that guy
to get into all the prosthetics and make up.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
He looked, I mean, he looks creepy to me, so
like he.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Did a good, great job. Yeah, but I didn't know
there's websites like that's kind of cool. Yeah, yeah, dang.
I also like how you're smiling in the front of it,
so I don't.
Speaker 4 (07:29):
Know, Yeah, I knew. I always knew i'd be smiling
at the camera too. That was like the what I
saw with the when I first had the idea.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Was there any thoughts throughout creating the rest of the
album where like, maybe I shouldn't call it Who's the Clown?
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Or is that just like set and Stone?
Speaker 3 (07:42):
It was set in Stone? It just was, And I
mean funny.
Speaker 4 (07:46):
My producer Ricky, who made the whole album with me,
he always thought it was called Who's the Clown Now?
And he would say it out loud to me all
the time, who's the clown now? And I just never
corrected him. I don't know, but no, it's just who's
the clown?
Speaker 1 (07:58):
That's actually to what he looks up now probably is
like I'm computing. Yeah, were there any songs that did
not make it an album? The album that you plan
to release one day.
Speaker 3 (08:06):
No, I wrote twelve songs.
Speaker 4 (08:08):
So these are the first twelve songs that I've written alone,
and they all made the album.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
Dang, that's exciting.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
How many versions typically of a song do you end
up creating?
Speaker 4 (08:19):
Usually the general bones of the song are always the same,
but I will write alternate verses, you know, And like,
writing a song takes me a long time. I'm always
trying to get it completely right. But usually in most
of my songs there are like five to ten versions
of a second verse, and I just second verses are
(08:41):
the hardest for me to write, So I just write
until I feel like it's it's perfect.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Are you someone who just needs to lock yourself in
a room and spend like hours in that room to
create a song or somebody like kind of just like naturally, like,
let's it. You go on a walk, you go do
drink red bull?
Speaker 4 (08:54):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (08:55):
Ye, yeah, it's both.
Speaker 4 (08:56):
I think I get a lot of ideas out on
walks or in the world or at parties or wherever.
But if I'm going to really really try and sit
down and write a song, I have to be locked
in my room.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Yeah, Like, no one bothered me. No one leave me alone?
Speaker 1 (09:11):
Yeah, fair, I actually saw a comment about one of
your songs, Bowling Alley, and it said, no one is
writing surreal mental spirals with this much elegance except Audrey Hobert.
Speaker 3 (09:20):
Oh that's so sweet.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
So how does that make you feel?
Speaker 1 (09:22):
And how does it feel to know that people are
connecting with your music and find it kind of relatable?
Speaker 2 (09:27):
Honestly?
Speaker 3 (09:27):
Like, yeah, I mean that's so sick. I love that.
Speaker 4 (09:30):
Yeah, because that's what that song is, I guess feels amazing. Honestly,
I'm just like anytime I get positive feedback, I just
feel really great.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Is there a song on the album that you like
more than the other It's like picking a favorite junk.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (09:45):
I have a song called Drive that I've just listened
to more than everything else, But I wouldn't even declare
it my favorite. I have a hard time saying if
I have a favorite song, because honestly, they all mean
an equal amount, with the exception of one song that
I just am not going to name right now, but like,
there's one song on the album that I just like
less than the others. But yeah, I've listened to Drive
probably more than anything else.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
Yeah, A lot of your songs are a mix of
like humor and heartbreak, and it kind of sounds like
I don't like I was telling you really like it's
very much like a story, but it's like it starts
off like humor something it goes like, oh, that kind
of like a like a heartbreak. But do you how
do you know when the there's like a fine line
when like you have like a funny verse or some
sort and you turn it into more serious.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
I can't really explain it.
Speaker 4 (10:26):
I think that's what keeps me coming back to songwriting
is it's just mystical. It's it's I mean, I definitely yeah,
it's like a place beyond being in my body that
happens to me. And it's interesting when I film myself writing,
you see it's like you watch my my soul exit
my body and it's just sort of floating above and
(10:47):
it's almost like a puzzle and it's like math and
it's completely based on instinct and feeling and it's hard
to explain.
Speaker 3 (10:54):
Honestly.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
I kind of like the visual you kind of just
gave though.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Yeah, you seem like a very visual definitely first, Yes,
so love that. That's amazing. But I guess so, like
when you are creating those songs, do you kind of
picture them out, like visually how you want especially because
you directed to many music videos. Yeah, do you kind
of picture exactly how you want that to go? And
does that change how you write the song in anyway?
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (11:16):
I mean I am sort of always trying to visualize everything.
Like I have a song called Don't Go Back to
His Ass that starts out with a girl crying in
bed with her and I just saw it like a
girl in her bed and the windows open and she
lives kind of in the center of town and she
can hear all the chatter coming from the bars, and
(11:37):
she's like, I'm not out there with those people, and
I describe all these things that the city sounds like.
And yeah, I mean every single song, it's like I'm
trying to place you in a setting and then take
you on a journey.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
What do you do first when you think of writing
a song, Like do you have to come up with
the like the chorus, the beat, the which one do
you do first?
Speaker 4 (11:56):
I definitely am words first, and I usually and I
always start a song right at the very beginning of it,
so I don't ever really write a chorus and then
build the song around that. Don't go back to his
ass is actually a chorus that I wrote kind of
like five months before. I ended up finishing the song
just because I had two more songs to write, and
I always remember that chorus. But usually when I'm writing
a song, I just start at the very beginning, and
(12:18):
then sometimes I'll write a bridge before I write the
second verse, because again it's I don't like writing second verses.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
But yeah, just right from the beginning.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
What made you want to cause you mentioned a minute
ago like this is the first time you wrote like
kind of by yourself, But what made you want to
go from writing with other people to now writing for
yourself by yourself, but like your own personal music rather
than just kind of writing and then like letting it
not be other people's music.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
But yeah, people sing it.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
I mean, I just I'm.
Speaker 4 (12:46):
A control freak, so it's the how I can have
kind of the most control.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
But also I do like to write with other people.
Speaker 4 (12:53):
I love to collaborate, but when it comes to telling
my stories or writing something that I'm like, okay, this
is a story about my slant on this situation. Yeah,
I just like to have complete control.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
Do you find it easier or harder to write with
other people?
Speaker 3 (13:08):
It depends.
Speaker 4 (13:08):
I find it easy to write with other talented people,
but I really do like writing by myself.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Do you ever have a song that you write and
you're like, hmm, that might be too much, Like maybe
I shouldn't put that out, or maybe I should like
were that differently, like people might like take that differently
in a certain way.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (13:25):
I mean there were times where I have felt conflicted
like that about certain lines on the album, and then
like recently, I've just you know, I haven't it's not
a full song yet, but I was writing this chorus
that I was like, oh, actually, that's I don't want
to sing that sort of explicit in a way where
I was like, I don't actually even stand behind this.
I just needed to get it out of my system.
But no, I don't like to filter myself too much,
(13:48):
just because I know I'm already doing that from a
place of wondering if the story is good enough or
you know whatever.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
But no, I just let it free flow out my mouth.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
I feel like a lot of your songs, like I
mentioned I just a minute ago, it's like the humor
and heartbreak. But do you think the humor in your
songs makes the heartbreak easier sometimes to digest?
Speaker 2 (14:08):
Yeah, I mean I think.
Speaker 4 (14:09):
It's like a coping mechanism for sure for most people.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
But also I don't know.
Speaker 4 (14:15):
I've just I have a very funny family and I
am a funny person, and it's kind of just mostly
not as much a coping mechanism as it is how
I've always like existed.
Speaker 3 (14:25):
In the world. And it's heart too to me.
Speaker 4 (14:28):
Like, I don't think there's a good movie or a
good TV show or book without heart, So it's I
think funny and heartbreak. It gives something heart.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Do you ever watch a movie and think, man, I
could have wrote a really good song for that movie,
or like I have an idea in my head, Or
does anyone ever come up to you with like their
shows or movies like that and say like, hey, right, yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:50):
I've been approached a little bit about that.
Speaker 4 (14:52):
But and usually when I'm watching a movie or TV show,
I'm not thinking like about a song I could write.
I'm more thinking about the line I could to write
in it, or the storyline I could write in it.
But maybe now I'll start thinking about it.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
Songs for movies.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
If you if your songwriting could be a movie genre,
what would it be?
Speaker 4 (15:09):
Probably what everyone's saying, which is coming of age, like
you know, messy female protagonist. I guess which that's I'm
not mad at that.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
I kind of like that. Yeah, it's kind of fun.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
Yeah, would you ever go back to writing or like
screenwriting or writing possibly.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
Like a short Have you ever seen like this?
Speaker 1 (15:26):
It's not a short film, but it's kind of like
a short film for an whole album.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
Yeah, i'd so, I would so do something like that. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (15:32):
I plan to return to TV and movies and all
that so eventually, but right now I'm doing this, I.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
Feel like not, well maybe it's just like me, but
like you just have so much more credit because you
I thought you became like an assistant for screenwriting and
then you became a writer on a TV show. Like
I feel like that's not like easy to do, Like
I think that's very hard, Like congratulations.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (15:54):
Yeah, I mean I think if you stick with it,
you'll you'll get there eventually. It's a hard it's a
hard industry to get it job, and it's very very
very competitive, and there's so many talented people out there.
But yeah, I think the it's like what they say,
which is the people who make.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
It are the people who never quit.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
I like seeing those people who Uh.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
I think someone told me recently that like, you don't
necessarily have to be like the best at something in
the room, but more importantly you have to would like
outwork everyone.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
Yeah, I feel like in a way that kind.
Speaker 3 (16:20):
Of yeah connects. That is the same thing.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
And I'm like, I was like, well that makes actually
a lot of more sense totally. I don't know, Like,
so do you want me just like work more?
Speaker 3 (16:26):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (16:27):
Okay, while you just released your first album, what is
the next thing I guess you're thinking about, like right now.
Speaker 4 (16:36):
Well, I'll definitely make one more music video and I'm
just thinking about a live show.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
So excited excited for both those things. It's it's it's.
Speaker 4 (16:43):
A never ending, really really exciting experience, this this whole job.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
Do you plan to direct that music video as well?
Speaker 3 (16:51):
Of course? Always?
Speaker 1 (16:52):
Do you have to put like a whole storyboard and
what not together when you're directing your own music video
or do you kind of just get it's.
Speaker 4 (16:59):
A little less work than when if you were to
pitch it to an artist, I think just because I
am the artist, but I am very thorough, and just
because you know, there's a whole crew on set that day.
Speaker 3 (17:10):
There are a lot of moving parts.
Speaker 4 (17:12):
So even though I know what I'm doing, it's in
my best interest and it goes over more smooth if
you're just as thorough as possible with everyone on set.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
I think, I know you've directed, like your own music
videos and then other people's music videos. Which one do
you find to be easier doing your own or other
people's both for different reasons.
Speaker 4 (17:32):
I like doing other peoples because I don't have to
be made up in front of camera and I can
just like look like shit and do the job that
I love. And then doing my own I feel sort
of at ease because I'm also executing and I just
trust myself. But also the people I've directed music videos for,
like my brother and Gracie, are like you barely have
(17:53):
to direct them, They're so good.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
But I like both. I like both so much.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
Would you say, whatever you are doing your own, do
you also I guess other people too? Do you have
to go through the editing process as well? And like
stick through the entire timeline or of a music video
or do you just kind of like direct it and
then you send it like an editor.
Speaker 4 (18:12):
I've done both, but with all my own music videos,
I edit them as well, So that wasn't something I
was planning on doing in the beginning. I always know
I would direct, but I did not think I would edit.
But for sue Me, I did a day with an
editor who's really awesome and talented. But I just found
I was like, it's not fair for me to stand
behind the shoulders of this really talented person just because
I know exactly what I want.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
So I have directed.
Speaker 4 (18:35):
I mean, I've edited all my own music videos since,
and it's the part of the job from the time
you conceptualize the time you shoot to the time you
edit it. It's like editing is actually what makes a
music video, which is why I also want to do it.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
That's awesome.
Speaker 4 (18:48):
Yeah, there's also a lot of work, so yeah, Oh
it doesn't feel like work. It feels so fun.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
Oh that's awesome though, that's even better.
Speaker 3 (18:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
Did you always knew that you wanted to be an
artist of some sort? Like within I guess the entertainment
world uneral or is there a different kind of job you.
Speaker 4 (19:02):
No, I always knew I wanted to do this. If
it wasn't writing or directing, I don't know what it
would have been, but I guess now it's this. But yeah,
I always wanted to be like a director writer.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
That's awesome.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
Well, the last thing I wanted to do with he
was decode some of your lyrics.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
Yeah, of course, So I.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
Have a few of them here.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
Yeah, which I'm very excited because I have thoughts on
some of these and like I think, I'm like, okay,
I think I kind of get it, but then I'm like,
I don't fully know.
Speaker 3 (19:24):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
So for your song Assumy, you have a line that
says You'll go to heaven and I'll go to I
kind of like want to sing it, but yeah, you
go to heaven and I'll go to hell in the meantime.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
Yeah, my question why does he get to go to heaven?
Like why can't?
Speaker 3 (19:36):
Okay, this is this is good.
Speaker 4 (19:37):
So I was proud of that one because it's like,
you'll go to heaven meaning like he is, He's done
nothing wrong in this situation. He has been nothing but
wonderful and nothing but lovely, has only ever loved me
and that's why he's going to go to heaven. And
I have taken his feelings and crushed them and not
(19:59):
and throwing them on the ground and left them for
the rats. And so I'm going to go to hell
in the meantime, like until he goes to heaven, which
hopefully he lives a long, great life. In the meantime,
I'll go to hell. Oh yeah, okay, yeah. It's like
it's instead of so like with heaven and for him,
it's like I'm actually speaking about heaven and with hell.
(20:19):
For me, I'm not speaking of actual hell. I'm speaking
of the phrase go to hell, you know.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Oh yeah, okay, yeah, okay, Well, like my next question
with that is because like the song isn't like assume me,
like I want to be one of like I'm sorry,
like I want to be like what's wrong with that?
Speaker 3 (20:33):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (20:33):
But so are you saying that to almost like another person,
so like you're crushing this guy's dream to go to
like that guy because like assume.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
Me, I want to know it's all the same guy.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
It's all the same guy.
Speaker 4 (20:42):
It's it's just I have spent the whole song talking
about me and myself and I and how I am
in the mood for validation, and he's a real human
being who was really, really a great boyfriend to me,
and so in the end I wanted to say sorry.
That's why that that whole outro is me being like sorry,
(21:03):
because that whole song is me basically like depersonalizing him
in my opinion, because that's a real relationship I had,
and he's a real person who's heard the song, and
so even though it's not as apologetic as I could
have been, I wanted to tell him that he is
a good person and will go to heaven and I'm
gonna go to hell.
Speaker 3 (21:19):
In the meantime, I wish.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
That went like so much, like do you realize my thoughts? Wait?
Speaker 3 (21:23):
I love that? Thank you did?
Speaker 2 (21:24):
Did you get a response from him like after he
heard it?
Speaker 3 (21:27):
No?
Speaker 1 (21:28):
Oh, okay, that's better, that's fun. That's yeah, Well for
your next bowling alley. The line is so wrong to
think everyone loves me but doesn't need to be a
round me at the time, But then later in the
song you changed to so wrong to think everyone loves
me and they need to be a round me all
the time.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
But I know in the middle of the song you
also say like that no one notices you until you win. Yeah,
so I was like, okay.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Part of that's like almost like industry, like everyone no
one notices you when you walk in the room, but
like when you walk in the room and like you're
a winner or like you just's being big, everyone's like
oh my gosh, like hey, yeah, so does that like
is that what those lines are about or something that's
pretty that's pretty accurate.
Speaker 4 (22:03):
I mean yeah, the like flipping of the lyrics and
the choruses were more about I think before you show
up somewhere, how you can sort of catastrophize it and say,
like that's one of my favorite lines in the whole
song is so wrong. I think everyone loves me but
doesn't need to be around me all the time, Like
it's as confident. It's more of a confident line to
(22:24):
me than it is anything. It's like I know people
like me, but I don't need to be everywhere all
the time, Like I don't need to be with them
all the time to know that they like me or
for them to continue.
Speaker 3 (22:35):
To like me. It's like my mom would always say,
it's good to be missed.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
So that's that.
Speaker 4 (22:40):
And then the lyric change in the chorus so that
the second chorus is just because I went I went
to the bowling allway and realized everyone does like being
around me, and they do need to be around me
all the time.
Speaker 3 (22:51):
I feel both ways.
Speaker 4 (22:52):
I feel sometimes like I should make myself scarce, and
then I sometimes feel like if I'm not around the
people in my life who love me, they're gonna die.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
Oh okay, but see, I feel like that's like relatable.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Like your album is like very I feel like I
felt like of what you kind of described throughout the album.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
It's like what I thought.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
I feel like I have felt that way at one
moment or another. Yeah, So that's like one of the
reason why I personally love your album.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
Oh thanks.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
The next song shooting Star because it hurts me and
I'd rather be hurt when I'm drunk at the club
on the Thursday. The way right before that is he
treats me like shit, but I promise you, baby, it's
worth it.
Speaker 3 (23:27):
Yeah, I have a question, Yeah, but like.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
Why would you rather be going to a club on
a Thursday? But like, also, why would rather be hurt
when you're going to the club?
Speaker 3 (23:36):
Is it?
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Because in a way.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
I have an answer to this.
Speaker 4 (23:39):
Oh, I find it much more interesting to be drunken
out if there's something that I'm upset about, Like I
if I'm in a really great place, I can get
I think pretty bored in that setting.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
But if I'm in that setting.
Speaker 4 (23:53):
And there's a crush who, I'm wondering he might show
up here tonight, he might text me, he might be
out with someone else. Like that to me is I'll
stay at the bar till closing if I'm in that state.
But if I'm just like feeling good in general, I
want to go home and go to bed and go
to night, get a good night's rest. So that's that's
kind of It's like that song is kind of about
(24:15):
staying in something just because of the way it sort
of makes you feel bad.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
And I think that's like something that people our age
do a lot.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
Okay, And is there a reason why I picked Thursday
and not Friday.
Speaker 4 (24:28):
Drunk at the club on a Thursday it just brings
better than drunk at the club on a Friday.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
Yeah, it's kind of like a better I feel. Also,
on college, everyone used to go at the bar on Thursday. Yeah,
your classes is just kind of it just is what
it is on Yeah, totally okay, thirst Trap, I used
to be so super cool Now I'm a box with
all the tools that line or also I really like
the line yes I forgive, but I don't forget it all,
which I do love that you're not You're not suffering
(24:55):
a fool. I know it's why you want me to.
Speaker 4 (24:57):
Yeah, so okay, all three of those lines the I
used to be so super cool Now I'm in a
box with all the tools. I just always from the
time actually I started doing like session songwriting I had
I really wanted there to be a line and a
song about Like I had this line that I would
pitch in rooms that I was like they make sheds
for tools like me. I think it fit better in
(25:20):
the way I did used it in thirst Trap, but
like it's just pertaining to like being someone who takes
pictures of themselves all day. It's like I'm in a
box with I just think you're a tool if you
do that. Sorry, Like I maybe I'm not progressive in
that way, but if you're someone who's like constantly flicking
themselves up, like I don't, I have less respect for you. Ultimately,
no hate, but yeah, that's why I just said I'm
in a box with all the tools. I'm like, oh,
(25:42):
now they're boxing me. Now I've boxed myself in and
I'm with all the tools. But it's also like a toolbox,
you know, like there are those things toolbox. And the
second one was yes, I forgive, but I don't forget
at all. It's like I am a forgiving person, but
sometimes I don't forget that you did that to me there, yeah,
and then what was.
Speaker 3 (26:00):
The last one?
Speaker 2 (26:00):
You're not suffering a fool.
Speaker 3 (26:02):
Oh, you're not suffering fool.
Speaker 4 (26:03):
It's like that's like a common phrase is you know,
this person doesn't suffer fools, and it means like you
can't if you're like a bullshitter or a fibber. It's
like if a person doesn't suffer fools, it means that
they don't buy what that person is selling, Like you know.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
I'm not getting your bullshit, like I'm not.
Speaker 4 (26:23):
It's like you can't fool me basically, so it's like
you're not suffering a fool.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
Like okay, yeah, that makes more sense. I was like wait.
I was like, hey, no, I do have to ask
because I'm kind of okay.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
That makes more sense. Yeah, it's a common phrase.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
Okay, wet hair, Yeah, showed up with wet hair.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
I assumed you were there, but you weren't, so I
stood full of shit like I'm scared.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
I like the wet hair part, but so like you
show up the way I picture it, It's like you're
showing up tell someone's house, but you weren't there, so
you stood there full of shit like I'm scared.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
Why are you scared? Because he wasn't there?
Speaker 1 (26:53):
Uh.
Speaker 4 (26:54):
And honestly, what I was thinking of was the phrase
scared shitless, which.
Speaker 3 (26:58):
Is like and also the phrase that when someone's full
of shit.
Speaker 4 (27:02):
Yeah, it's it's sort of similar to the suffer fools thing,
like full of shit, like that person's just a bullshitter,
but then scared shitless.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
It's like I'm really scared, so full of shit, like
I'm scared. I don't know. That was the first song
I wrote, So just roll off the tongue.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
Oh that's fun.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
Okay, Wow, I feel like I could ask you, like
so many more questions about like IR songs, because that's
kind of fun.
Speaker 4 (27:21):
To like, yeah, like kind honestly, are the first person
to go through And I really want to do that
with like everybody.
Speaker 2 (27:26):
Now, well, it's like really interesting.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
I feel like people like when they write their songs,
it's like they're thinking of so many different things.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
But you can when you're just listening to it.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
Sometimes a you either don't listen to like all the
lyrics out once or be like when I ran through them.
Speaker 3 (27:37):
I was like dang.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
I was like, okay, I was like, now, I have
like so many questions.
Speaker 3 (27:40):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
That's the last question I have for you. It is random.
Speaker 3 (27:44):
Yeah, so I apologize that that's okay.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
But I am very curious.
Speaker 3 (27:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
I saw somewhere when I was doing my research that
you were a big Disney fan, more so with like
Wizard Way they Places and Hannah Montana.
Speaker 3 (27:55):
Yes, yeah, I was a huge.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
Wizards fan still am.
Speaker 4 (27:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
Thing my question is who did you vote for in
the Wizard competition and would you ever want to write
for the New Wizard series a song or like an episode?
Speaker 3 (28:08):
I mean, to be involved in that, it all would
be so cool.
Speaker 4 (28:10):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (28:10):
Yeah, it was definitely my favorite Disney show. I just like,
who did I vote for? Alex?
Speaker 4 (28:16):
Oh? Obviously Alex I still want to be her. I
still tell that show on and think she's like the
coolest person on the planet.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
So, Alex Russa, have you ever met her in person?
Speaker 4 (28:24):
Selena, I've been around her, but I've not like formally
met her, but she's I know her to be the coolest.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
Oh yeah, that's that's like awesome. Okay, well that's like
all the questions. Thank you so much for coming in,
going over the music and very excited if you go
on tour or anything like that.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
Yeah, yeah, thank you so much.
I was so excited to talk to you, and especially
when I found out that you say's screenwriting.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Yeah, that is freaking awesome.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
But also, is it harder to write for a TV
show or for a movie or for songs?
Speaker 3 (00:14):
Fabulous question.
Speaker 4 (00:15):
I think it's much easier to write a song than
it is to write a movie or a TV show.
I mean, granted, I'm young, I haven't had a ton
of experience, so I guess I can only just speak
for me, But I find a song to be much
easier to write. There's more of an immediate kind of
knowing of if it's good or not, just because it
requires like a melody that you find fun and good,
(00:39):
and then also lyrics. It's a just shorter than a
movie or TV show, and I think you have to
have a lot of inner strength and commitment to follow
through and actually write an entire episode of a TV
show or a movie.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
Yeah, I just think song is easier for me.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
What is it like putting out something? Because I feel
like with music, it's something that's very vulnera to you
versus like a TV show or something else you're writing for.
It's almost like more the character you have to get into.
Speaker 4 (01:06):
Yeah, It's interesting the vulnerability aspect because I never felt
vulnerable writing a song. I weirdly, I feel like that
was the combination of writing for TV and movies. I
always feel like I was crafting a story as opposed
to wearing my heart on my sleeve when I was
writing songs. But I guess there is the vulnerable part,
which is being the face of the stories. And yeah,
(01:29):
I mean, I still am learning about this job, so
so far I feel fine. And I also think it
can be curved by not looking so often at what
people are saying about you, which is I mean, if
someone comes up to you on the street and yells
in your face their opinion, that's one thing. But to
just try not to look online that is actually something
(01:49):
you can control. So I don't feel too vulnerable yet,
But who's to say what happened in the future.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Might just do you get Wait, do you get anyone
who yells at you like in the street a lot?
Speaker 4 (01:59):
Like? Oh no, not at all, but I could one day,
and I hope they're nice if they're raising their voice
at least.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
I mean, that'd be like the nice thing to do.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
But well, speaking of your album just came out last week,
who's the clown? How many people are you allowed to
show the album to, like top to bottom before it's
actually released?
Speaker 3 (02:20):
Kind of?
Speaker 4 (02:20):
I mean at my level, which was which is brand new,
whoever I wanted. I feel like there came a point
where I started to feel a little bit more protective,
just because I would send it to my mom and
she'd be like, can I send it to Gail Oka,
Debbie Tiff, you know other Debbie, and I'd always be like, yeah,
And then at a at a certain point, I started
to be like, let's hold on to it a little bit,
(02:42):
but yeah, I show. I showed all my friends and family.
I was super excited, just because I didn't yet have
the gratification of people out in the world listening, so
I was looking for praise wherever I could get it.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
I would send it to everyone.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
Have you gotten any feedback from listeners who like fans
of yours who have listened to the whole album and
just like on the street or while you're walking around
or randomly like that.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
Yet not on the street.
Speaker 4 (03:04):
But I did play a little radio show in Portland
yesterday and it was cool to have and I met
everybody afterwards who came in It was nice for the
first time to have people talk about the whole album
as opposed to just a few songs. And then just
the messages I've been getting online have been overwhelmingly thoughtful
and positive and heartfelt. So I'm flying high.
Speaker 3 (03:26):
Oh that's nice. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Your album is described as a pop slash alternative pop
that blends with vulnerability and filmic storytelling that features cinematic
vibes with emotional storytelling.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Would you say this is an accurate presentation of the
album or how would you describe it if different?
Speaker 4 (03:41):
I find that to be very complimentary. Cinematic, filmic are
totally you know, just compliments.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
I think.
Speaker 4 (03:49):
However, unless it's negative, I feel like however people want
to describe the music is totally fine. The only thing
I don't like is bubblegum pop.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
I don't think i'd like that either, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (03:58):
Because that just I think imply as like an airheadedness
that I, you know, feels annoying.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
You're like, not quite, but thanks exactly.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
I will say, when I was listening to your music,
it did feel very like storytelling vibes. There's a few
lyrics that I have of yours that I brought up
that later on. I wanted to like decode and go
through them first. Several when I was looking through it,
I was like, oh my gosh, wait a.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Second, I was like, why do I feel like I
just like watched a.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Movie or like literally went through a whole. It's like
in every single song. Also, I felt that way, So
thank you, I do.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
I think that's really cool.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
But also your album cover. Yeah, I have a really
big question about this. So your album cover. I printed
it because when I was younger, I really wanted to
be like the Jimmy's on the late.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
Night talk shows.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
Oh, totally.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
They have usually a vinyl Yeah, I don't have a
record player.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Yeah, but there's a clown.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Now, when you think of a clown, first off, in
a big As session in the studio the other day,
about this, When you think of a clown, do you
think of like a creepy, scary, low key be a
guy that has like candy and a van of guy
or a nice cute guy at birthday parties who like
blows up blue animals.
Speaker 4 (05:06):
Oh these are questions I have not been asked before.
I'm so appreciative. I it's both. I think both I've
experienced in person the latter kind of clown you described.
I've not yet in my life been around a really
legit creepy clown like the one on the album cover.
(05:27):
That was sort of my first experience. But I was
dead set on there being prosthetics and the clown being
legitimately scary. That was I knew I wanted scary imagery
on the cover of my album, just because I think
it grabs your attention, It makes you go, what kind of.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
Music is this?
Speaker 4 (05:43):
That pretty accurate, and so yeah, that was that was
always the plan from pretty early on in writing the songs.
I knew it would be called Who's the Clown? I
knew there'd be really scary clown on the cover.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
So is that what you wanted the album to be named?
First and foremost? Like the first thing you kind of
came up with was, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
Well it was I.
Speaker 4 (06:00):
I have a song on the album called Sex in
the City that I was the first song that I
worked super super hard on, and the night after I
finished it, that morning, I woke up sort of was
woken up very early, and I just had the cover
in my head, just the first the photo, and then
I thought a funny title to go with it would
be Who's the Clown? Because there's an actual clown on
(06:20):
the photo and then there's me and so and yet
yet I'm still left wondering. So it never changed that.
That was like I had written four songs at that point,
and I knew it would be called Who's the Clown?
And I knew, yeah, that would be the cover.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Was there someone actually on set that day who just
like fully put together or did they come in after
like later on and they just kind of like added
him in the picture?
Speaker 3 (06:40):
Oh the clown.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
No, I was taught with, worked with, like not worked with,
but was in talks with this prosthetics artist for weeks
before and she would send me molds and I sort
of Actually, there's this website that I'm forgetting the name
of that has all these like ready made molds for
clowns and scary things and stuff like that, and actually
(07:04):
this was one.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
That is like, it's the face of a really creepy.
Speaker 4 (07:07):
Man, and then we just added a clown nose on
to it, but it's all prosthetics, And yeah, I was
I could not. I was so excited when I saw
him fully done, because it took hours for that guy
to get into all the prosthetics and make up.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
He looked, I mean, he looks creepy to me, so
like he.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Did a good, great job. Yeah, but I didn't know
there's websites like that's kind of cool. Yeah, yeah, dang.
I also like how you're smiling in the front of it,
so I don't.
Speaker 4 (07:29):
Know, Yeah, I knew. I always knew i'd be smiling
at the camera too. That was like the what I
saw with the when I first had the idea.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Was there any thoughts throughout creating the rest of the
album where like, maybe I shouldn't call it Who's the Clown?
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Or is that just like set and Stone?
Speaker 3 (07:42):
It was set in Stone? It just was, And I
mean funny.
Speaker 4 (07:46):
My producer Ricky, who made the whole album with me,
he always thought it was called Who's the Clown Now?
And he would say it out loud to me all
the time, who's the clown now? And I just never
corrected him. I don't know, but no, it's just who's
the clown?
Speaker 1 (07:58):
That's actually to what he looks up now probably is
like I'm computing. Yeah, were there any songs that did
not make it an album? The album that you plan
to release one day.
Speaker 3 (08:06):
No, I wrote twelve songs.
Speaker 4 (08:08):
So these are the first twelve songs that I've written alone,
and they all made the album.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
Dang, that's exciting.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
How many versions typically of a song do you end
up creating?
Speaker 4 (08:19):
Usually the general bones of the song are always the same,
but I will write alternate verses, you know, And like,
writing a song takes me a long time. I'm always
trying to get it completely right. But usually in most
of my songs there are like five to ten versions
of a second verse, and I just second verses are
(08:41):
the hardest for me to write, So I just write
until I feel like it's it's perfect.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Are you someone who just needs to lock yourself in
a room and spend like hours in that room to
create a song or somebody like kind of just like naturally, like,
let's it. You go on a walk, you go do
drink red bull?
Speaker 4 (08:54):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (08:55):
Ye, yeah, it's both.
Speaker 4 (08:56):
I think I get a lot of ideas out on
walks or in the world or at parties or wherever.
But if I'm going to really really try and sit
down and write a song, I have to be locked
in my room.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Yeah, Like, no one bothered me. No one leave me alone?
Speaker 1 (09:11):
Yeah, fair, I actually saw a comment about one of
your songs, Bowling Alley, and it said, no one is
writing surreal mental spirals with this much elegance except Audrey Hobert.
Speaker 3 (09:20):
Oh that's so sweet.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
So how does that make you feel?
Speaker 1 (09:22):
And how does it feel to know that people are
connecting with your music and find it kind of relatable?
Speaker 2 (09:27):
Honestly?
Speaker 3 (09:27):
Like, yeah, I mean that's so sick. I love that.
Speaker 4 (09:30):
Yeah, because that's what that song is, I guess feels amazing. Honestly,
I'm just like anytime I get positive feedback, I just
feel really great.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Is there a song on the album that you like
more than the other It's like picking a favorite junk.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (09:45):
I have a song called Drive that I've just listened
to more than everything else, But I wouldn't even declare
it my favorite. I have a hard time saying if
I have a favorite song, because honestly, they all mean
an equal amount, with the exception of one song that
I just am not going to name right now, but like,
there's one song on the album that I just like
less than the others. But yeah, I've listened to Drive
probably more than anything else.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
Yeah, A lot of your songs are a mix of
like humor and heartbreak, and it kind of sounds like
I don't like I was telling you really like it's
very much like a story, but it's like it starts
off like humor something it goes like, oh, that kind
of like a like a heartbreak. But do you how
do you know when the there's like a fine line
when like you have like a funny verse or some
sort and you turn it into more serious.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
I can't really explain it.
Speaker 4 (10:26):
I think that's what keeps me coming back to songwriting
is it's just mystical. It's it's I mean, I definitely yeah,
it's like a place beyond being in my body that
happens to me. And it's interesting when I film myself writing,
you see it's like you watch my my soul exit
my body and it's just sort of floating above and
(10:47):
it's almost like a puzzle and it's like math and
it's completely based on instinct and feeling and it's hard
to explain.
Speaker 3 (10:54):
Honestly.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
I kind of like the visual you kind of just
gave though.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Yeah, you seem like a very visual definitely first, Yes,
so love that. That's amazing. But I guess so, like
when you are creating those songs, do you kind of
picture them out, like visually how you want especially because
you directed to many music videos. Yeah, do you kind
of picture exactly how you want that to go? And
does that change how you write the song in anyway?
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (11:16):
I mean I am sort of always trying to visualize everything.
Like I have a song called Don't Go Back to
His Ass that starts out with a girl crying in
bed with her and I just saw it like a
girl in her bed and the windows open and she
lives kind of in the center of town and she
can hear all the chatter coming from the bars, and
(11:37):
she's like, I'm not out there with those people, and
I describe all these things that the city sounds like.
And yeah, I mean every single song, it's like I'm
trying to place you in a setting and then take
you on a journey.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
What do you do first when you think of writing
a song, Like do you have to come up with
the like the chorus, the beat, the which one do
you do first?
Speaker 4 (11:56):
I definitely am words first, and I usually and I
always start a song right at the very beginning of it,
so I don't ever really write a chorus and then
build the song around that. Don't go back to his
ass is actually a chorus that I wrote kind of
like five months before. I ended up finishing the song
just because I had two more songs to write, and
I always remember that chorus. But usually when I'm writing
a song, I just start at the very beginning, and
(12:18):
then sometimes I'll write a bridge before I write the
second verse, because again it's I don't like writing second verses.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
But yeah, just right from the beginning.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
What made you want to cause you mentioned a minute
ago like this is the first time you wrote like
kind of by yourself, But what made you want to
go from writing with other people to now writing for
yourself by yourself, but like your own personal music rather
than just kind of writing and then like letting it
not be other people's music.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
But yeah, people sing it.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
I mean, I just I'm.
Speaker 4 (12:46):
A control freak, so it's the how I can have
kind of the most control.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
But also I do like to write with other people.
Speaker 4 (12:53):
I love to collaborate, but when it comes to telling
my stories or writing something that I'm like, okay, this
is a story about my slant on this situation. Yeah,
I just like to have complete control.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
Do you find it easier or harder to write with
other people?
Speaker 3 (13:08):
It depends.
Speaker 4 (13:08):
I find it easy to write with other talented people,
but I really do like writing by myself.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Do you ever have a song that you write and
you're like, hmm, that might be too much, Like maybe
I shouldn't put that out, or maybe I should like
were that differently, like people might like take that differently
in a certain way.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (13:25):
I mean there were times where I have felt conflicted
like that about certain lines on the album, and then
like recently, I've just you know, I haven't it's not
a full song yet, but I was writing this chorus
that I was like, oh, actually, that's I don't want
to sing that sort of explicit in a way where
I was like, I don't actually even stand behind this.
I just needed to get it out of my system.
But no, I don't like to filter myself too much,
(13:48):
just because I know I'm already doing that from a
place of wondering if the story is good enough or
you know whatever.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
But no, I just let it free flow out my mouth.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
I feel like a lot of your songs, like I
mentioned I just a minute ago, it's like the humor
and heartbreak. But do you think the humor in your
songs makes the heartbreak easier sometimes to digest?
Speaker 2 (14:08):
Yeah, I mean I think.
Speaker 4 (14:09):
It's like a coping mechanism for sure for most people.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
But also I don't know.
Speaker 4 (14:15):
I've just I have a very funny family and I
am a funny person, and it's kind of just mostly
not as much a coping mechanism as it is how
I've always like existed.
Speaker 3 (14:25):
In the world. And it's heart too to me.
Speaker 4 (14:28):
Like, I don't think there's a good movie or a
good TV show or book without heart, So it's I
think funny and heartbreak. It gives something heart.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Do you ever watch a movie and think, man, I
could have wrote a really good song for that movie,
or like I have an idea in my head, Or
does anyone ever come up to you with like their
shows or movies like that and say like, hey, right, yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:50):
I've been approached a little bit about that.
Speaker 4 (14:52):
But and usually when I'm watching a movie or TV show,
I'm not thinking like about a song I could write.
I'm more thinking about the line I could to write
in it, or the storyline I could write in it.
But maybe now I'll start thinking about it.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
Songs for movies.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
If you if your songwriting could be a movie genre,
what would it be?
Speaker 4 (15:09):
Probably what everyone's saying, which is coming of age, like
you know, messy female protagonist. I guess which that's I'm
not mad at that.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
I kind of like that. Yeah, it's kind of fun.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
Yeah, would you ever go back to writing or like
screenwriting or writing possibly.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
Like a short Have you ever seen like this?
Speaker 1 (15:26):
It's not a short film, but it's kind of like
a short film for an whole album.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
Yeah, i'd so, I would so do something like that. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (15:32):
I plan to return to TV and movies and all
that so eventually, but right now I'm doing this, I.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
Feel like not, well maybe it's just like me, but
like you just have so much more credit because you
I thought you became like an assistant for screenwriting and
then you became a writer on a TV show. Like
I feel like that's not like easy to do, Like
I think that's very hard, Like congratulations.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (15:54):
Yeah, I mean I think if you stick with it,
you'll you'll get there eventually. It's a hard it's a
hard industry to get it job, and it's very very
very competitive, and there's so many talented people out there.
But yeah, I think the it's like what they say,
which is the people who make.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
It are the people who never quit.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
I like seeing those people who Uh.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
I think someone told me recently that like, you don't
necessarily have to be like the best at something in
the room, but more importantly you have to would like
outwork everyone.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
Yeah, I feel like in a way that kind.
Speaker 3 (16:20):
Of yeah connects. That is the same thing.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
And I'm like, I was like, well that makes actually
a lot of more sense totally. I don't know, Like,
so do you want me just like work more?
Speaker 3 (16:26):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (16:27):
Okay, while you just released your first album, what is
the next thing I guess you're thinking about, like right now.
Speaker 4 (16:36):
Well, I'll definitely make one more music video and I'm
just thinking about a live show.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
So excited excited for both those things. It's it's it's.
Speaker 4 (16:43):
A never ending, really really exciting experience, this this whole job.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
Do you plan to direct that music video as well?
Speaker 3 (16:51):
Of course? Always?
Speaker 1 (16:52):
Do you have to put like a whole storyboard and
what not together when you're directing your own music video
or do you kind of just get it's.
Speaker 4 (16:59):
A little less work than when if you were to
pitch it to an artist, I think just because I
am the artist, but I am very thorough, and just
because you know, there's a whole crew on set that day.
Speaker 3 (17:10):
There are a lot of moving parts.
Speaker 4 (17:12):
So even though I know what I'm doing, it's in
my best interest and it goes over more smooth if
you're just as thorough as possible with everyone on set.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
I think, I know you've directed, like your own music
videos and then other people's music videos. Which one do
you find to be easier doing your own or other
people's both for different reasons.
Speaker 4 (17:32):
I like doing other peoples because I don't have to
be made up in front of camera and I can
just like look like shit and do the job that
I love. And then doing my own I feel sort
of at ease because I'm also executing and I just
trust myself. But also the people I've directed music videos for,
like my brother and Gracie, are like you barely have
(17:53):
to direct them, They're so good.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
But I like both. I like both so much.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
Would you say, whatever you are doing your own, do
you also I guess other people too? Do you have
to go through the editing process as well? And like
stick through the entire timeline or of a music video
or do you just kind of like direct it and
then you send it like an editor.
Speaker 4 (18:12):
I've done both, but with all my own music videos,
I edit them as well, So that wasn't something I
was planning on doing in the beginning. I always know
I would direct, but I did not think I would edit.
But for sue Me, I did a day with an
editor who's really awesome and talented. But I just found
I was like, it's not fair for me to stand
behind the shoulders of this really talented person just because
I know exactly what I want.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
So I have directed.
Speaker 4 (18:35):
I mean, I've edited all my own music videos since,
and it's the part of the job from the time
you conceptualize the time you shoot to the time you
edit it. It's like editing is actually what makes a
music video, which is why I also want to do it.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
That's awesome.
Speaker 4 (18:48):
Yeah, there's also a lot of work, so yeah, Oh
it doesn't feel like work. It feels so fun.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
Oh that's awesome though, that's even better.
Speaker 3 (18:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
Did you always knew that you wanted to be an
artist of some sort? Like within I guess the entertainment
world uneral or is there a different kind of job you.
Speaker 4 (19:02):
No, I always knew I wanted to do this. If
it wasn't writing or directing, I don't know what it
would have been, but I guess now it's this. But yeah,
I always wanted to be like a director writer.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
That's awesome.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
Well, the last thing I wanted to do with he
was decode some of your lyrics.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
Yeah, of course, So I.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
Have a few of them here.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
Yeah, which I'm very excited because I have thoughts on
some of these and like I think, I'm like, okay,
I think I kind of get it, but then I'm like,
I don't fully know.
Speaker 3 (19:24):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
So for your song Assumy, you have a line that
says You'll go to heaven and I'll go to I
kind of like want to sing it, but yeah, you
go to heaven and I'll go to hell in the meantime.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
Yeah, my question why does he get to go to heaven?
Like why can't?
Speaker 3 (19:36):
Okay, this is this is good.
Speaker 4 (19:37):
So I was proud of that one because it's like,
you'll go to heaven meaning like he is, He's done
nothing wrong in this situation. He has been nothing but
wonderful and nothing but lovely, has only ever loved me
and that's why he's going to go to heaven. And
I have taken his feelings and crushed them and not
(19:59):
and throwing them on the ground and left them for
the rats. And so I'm going to go to hell
in the meantime, like until he goes to heaven, which
hopefully he lives a long, great life. In the meantime,
I'll go to hell. Oh yeah, okay, yeah. It's like
it's instead of so like with heaven and for him,
it's like I'm actually speaking about heaven and with hell.
(20:19):
For me, I'm not speaking of actual hell. I'm speaking
of the phrase go to hell, you know.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Oh yeah, okay, yeah, okay, Well, like my next question
with that is because like the song isn't like assume me,
like I want to be one of like I'm sorry,
like I want to be like what's wrong with that?
Speaker 3 (20:33):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (20:33):
But so are you saying that to almost like another person,
so like you're crushing this guy's dream to go to
like that guy because like assume.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
Me, I want to know it's all the same guy.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
It's all the same guy.
Speaker 4 (20:42):
It's it's just I have spent the whole song talking
about me and myself and I and how I am
in the mood for validation, and he's a real human
being who was really, really a great boyfriend to me,
and so in the end I wanted to say sorry.
That's why that that whole outro is me being like sorry,
(21:03):
because that whole song is me basically like depersonalizing him
in my opinion, because that's a real relationship I had,
and he's a real person who's heard the song, and
so even though it's not as apologetic as I could
have been, I wanted to tell him that he is
a good person and will go to heaven and I'm
gonna go to hell.
Speaker 3 (21:19):
In the meantime, I wish.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
That went like so much, like do you realize my thoughts? Wait?
Speaker 3 (21:23):
I love that? Thank you did?
Speaker 2 (21:24):
Did you get a response from him like after he
heard it?
Speaker 3 (21:27):
No?
Speaker 1 (21:28):
Oh, okay, that's better, that's fun. That's yeah, Well for
your next bowling alley. The line is so wrong to
think everyone loves me but doesn't need to be a
round me at the time, But then later in the
song you changed to so wrong to think everyone loves
me and they need to be a round me all
the time.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
But I know in the middle of the song you
also say like that no one notices you until you win. Yeah,
so I was like, okay.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Part of that's like almost like industry, like everyone no
one notices you when you walk in the room, but
like when you walk in the room and like you're
a winner or like you just's being big, everyone's like
oh my gosh, like hey, yeah, so does that like
is that what those lines are about or something that's
pretty that's pretty accurate.
Speaker 4 (22:03):
I mean yeah, the like flipping of the lyrics and
the choruses were more about I think before you show
up somewhere, how you can sort of catastrophize it and say,
like that's one of my favorite lines in the whole
song is so wrong. I think everyone loves me but
doesn't need to be around me all the time, Like
it's as confident. It's more of a confident line to
(22:24):
me than it is anything. It's like I know people
like me, but I don't need to be everywhere all
the time, Like I don't need to be with them
all the time to know that they like me or
for them to continue.
Speaker 3 (22:35):
To like me. It's like my mom would always say,
it's good to be missed.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
So that's that.
Speaker 4 (22:40):
And then the lyric change in the chorus so that
the second chorus is just because I went I went
to the bowling allway and realized everyone does like being
around me, and they do need to be around me
all the time.
Speaker 3 (22:51):
I feel both ways.
Speaker 4 (22:52):
I feel sometimes like I should make myself scarce, and
then I sometimes feel like if I'm not around the
people in my life who love me, they're gonna die.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
Oh okay, but see, I feel like that's like relatable.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Like your album is like very I feel like I
felt like of what you kind of described throughout the album.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
It's like what I thought.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
I feel like I have felt that way at one
moment or another. Yeah, So that's like one of the
reason why I personally love your album.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
Oh thanks.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
The next song shooting Star because it hurts me and
I'd rather be hurt when I'm drunk at the club
on the Thursday. The way right before that is he
treats me like shit, but I promise you, baby, it's
worth it.
Speaker 3 (23:27):
Yeah, I have a question, Yeah, but like.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
Why would you rather be going to a club on
a Thursday? But like, also, why would rather be hurt
when you're going to the club?
Speaker 3 (23:36):
Is it?
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Because in a way.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
I have an answer to this.
Speaker 4 (23:39):
Oh, I find it much more interesting to be drunken
out if there's something that I'm upset about, Like I
if I'm in a really great place, I can get
I think pretty bored in that setting.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
But if I'm in that setting.
Speaker 4 (23:53):
And there's a crush who, I'm wondering he might show
up here tonight, he might text me, he might be
out with someone else. Like that to me is I'll
stay at the bar till closing if I'm in that state.
But if I'm just like feeling good in general, I
want to go home and go to bed and go
to night, get a good night's rest. So that's that's
kind of It's like that song is kind of about
(24:15):
staying in something just because of the way it sort
of makes you feel bad.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
And I think that's like something that people our age
do a lot.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
Okay, And is there a reason why I picked Thursday
and not Friday.
Speaker 4 (24:28):
Drunk at the club on a Thursday it just brings
better than drunk at the club on a Friday.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
Yeah, it's kind of like a better I feel. Also,
on college, everyone used to go at the bar on Thursday. Yeah,
your classes is just kind of it just is what
it is on Yeah, totally okay, thirst Trap, I used
to be so super cool Now I'm a box with
all the tools that line or also I really like
the line yes I forgive, but I don't forget it all,
which I do love that you're not You're not suffering
(24:55):
a fool. I know it's why you want me to.
Speaker 4 (24:57):
Yeah, so okay, all three of those lines the I
used to be so super cool Now I'm in a
box with all the tools. I just always from the
time actually I started doing like session songwriting I had
I really wanted there to be a line and a
song about Like I had this line that I would
pitch in rooms that I was like they make sheds
for tools like me. I think it fit better in
(25:20):
the way I did used it in thirst Trap, but
like it's just pertaining to like being someone who takes
pictures of themselves all day. It's like I'm in a
box with I just think you're a tool if you
do that. Sorry, Like I maybe I'm not progressive in
that way, but if you're someone who's like constantly flicking
themselves up, like I don't, I have less respect for you. Ultimately,
no hate, but yeah, that's why I just said I'm
in a box with all the tools. I'm like, oh,
(25:42):
now they're boxing me. Now I've boxed myself in and
I'm with all the tools. But it's also like a toolbox,
you know, like there are those things toolbox. And the
second one was yes, I forgive, but I don't forget
at all. It's like I am a forgiving person, but
sometimes I don't forget that you did that to me there, yeah,
and then what was.
Speaker 3 (26:00):
The last one?
Speaker 2 (26:00):
You're not suffering a fool.
Speaker 3 (26:02):
Oh, you're not suffering fool.
Speaker 4 (26:03):
It's like that's like a common phrase is you know,
this person doesn't suffer fools, and it means like you
can't if you're like a bullshitter or a fibber. It's
like if a person doesn't suffer fools, it means that
they don't buy what that person is selling, Like you know.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
I'm not getting your bullshit, like I'm not.
Speaker 4 (26:23):
It's like you can't fool me basically, so it's like
you're not suffering a fool.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
Like okay, yeah, that makes more sense. I was like wait.
I was like, hey, no, I do have to ask
because I'm kind of okay.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
That makes more sense. Yeah, it's a common phrase.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
Okay, wet hair, Yeah, showed up with wet hair.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
I assumed you were there, but you weren't, so I
stood full of shit like I'm scared.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
I like the wet hair part, but so like you
show up the way I picture it, It's like you're
showing up tell someone's house, but you weren't there, so
you stood there full of shit like I'm scared.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
Why are you scared? Because he wasn't there?
Speaker 1 (26:53):
Uh.
Speaker 4 (26:54):
And honestly, what I was thinking of was the phrase
scared shitless, which.
Speaker 3 (26:58):
Is like and also the phrase that when someone's full
of shit.
Speaker 4 (27:02):
Yeah, it's it's sort of similar to the suffer fools thing,
like full of shit, like that person's just a bullshitter,
but then scared shitless.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
It's like I'm really scared, so full of shit, like
I'm scared. I don't know. That was the first song
I wrote, So just roll off the tongue.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
Oh that's fun.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
Okay, Wow, I feel like I could ask you, like
so many more questions about like IR songs, because that's
kind of fun.
Speaker 4 (27:21):
To like, yeah, like kind honestly, are the first person
to go through And I really want to do that
with like everybody.
Speaker 2 (27:26):
Now, well, it's like really interesting.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
I feel like people like when they write their songs,
it's like they're thinking of so many different things.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
But you can when you're just listening to it.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
Sometimes a you either don't listen to like all the
lyrics out once or be like when I ran through them.
Speaker 3 (27:37):
I was like dang.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
I was like, okay, I was like, now, I have
like so many questions.
Speaker 3 (27:40):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
That's the last question I have for you. It is random.
Speaker 3 (27:44):
Yeah, so I apologize that that's okay.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
But I am very curious.
Speaker 3 (27:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
I saw somewhere when I was doing my research that
you were a big Disney fan, more so with like
Wizard Way they Places and Hannah Montana.
Speaker 3 (27:55):
Yes, yeah, I was a huge.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
Wizards fan still am.
Speaker 4 (27:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
Thing my question is who did you vote for in
the Wizard competition and would you ever want to write
for the New Wizard series a song or like an episode?
Speaker 3 (28:08):
I mean, to be involved in that, it all would
be so cool.
Speaker 4 (28:10):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (28:10):
Yeah, it was definitely my favorite Disney show. I just like,
who did I vote for? Alex?
Speaker 4 (28:16):
Oh? Obviously Alex I still want to be her. I
still tell that show on and think she's like the
coolest person on the planet.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
So, Alex Russa, have you ever met her in person?
Speaker 4 (28:24):
Selena, I've been around her, but I've not like formally
met her, but she's I know her to be the coolest.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
Oh yeah, that's that's like awesome. Okay, well that's like
all the questions. Thank you so much for coming in,
going over the music and very excited if you go
on tour or anything like that.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
Yeah, yeah, thank you so much.
Host
Jubal Fresh
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