040824 500 FUNDRIVE

 Don’t post your meat on the Internet! More plane stuff happened, this time involving a dog pooping in the aisle!   

Episode Transcript

(00:03):
Well, that's a marvel at nightfor a mond dance with the star boy.
Listening to Ao's weather forecast for tomorrowmakes me surely glad that this came
down today and we did this today. He said, we got big weather
on the wall. Take us abig weather weather. I don't think I

(00:24):
want big weather. Tired of it, let's just skip it. I always
use some wet weather. You guysever realized I'm glad it's not today.
Maybe I'm alone in this, buttoday is making me realize that the amount
of temperature conditions that I consider tobe good weather is a very very small

(00:45):
margin. That's why you gotta changeyour standards, because like today is what
eighty degrees. It's too hot.It's too hot, yeah, And then
I bet it's higher than that.Up until now it was. They say
it's eighty two now, so it'shigh. Was probably eighty four eighty five.
That's too hot, and it ain'tgetting cooler. And it does get

(01:07):
cooler. I think it's too cold. My window goes from about sixty to
sixty seven, and it's just likeit. Weather sucks, Yeah, but
we got it good here in thewinter time, usually too cold, yeah,
it's too cold and it's too hot. Yeah, but it doesn't stay
cold, it make it may getcold. Is this why San Diego is
expensive? Yeah? Yeah, it'sone of the reasons. All right,

(01:30):
I get it. But you cando a little life hack where you just
tell yourself that it's fun regardless.I think the heat is great. I
think the cold I can't really handle. I don't like it. I don't
like wearing a bunch of jackets.But whenever it's one hundred outside, as
long as you prepare the right wayand find lots of water based activities that

(01:52):
do Yeah, being outside during thesummer is awesome. Are you going to
celebrate by going to a water park? Yes? I do so. Like
I remember in high school, CoachGraham was the best at this. He
would when it was freezing cold outside, he would wear the short shorts,
shortcutton shorts and a T shirt andyou know, as old as cold as

(02:13):
you feel, feels great outside.And I'm like, oh, you're just
not protecting yourself from the element,so you're not happy. That's not good.
He was the guys who like towarm up before a cold playoff game
without their shirt. I'm like,you think you're playing a mind game.
But what you're doing is you're depletingyour body before you play at activity that
requires it to be in its bestshape. No, if you were doing
that, that's what you would bedoing. They are sharpening them. They

(02:38):
are whim hoff is it the breathingand the old guy? You got it?
They are wif they're getting ready forthe task at hand. That's right
f that task. Yeah, Iguess I am soft because even in high
school, if it was like coldoutside and it's a football game, I'm
like, guys, why are weplaying this? This isn't fun. I
like the summers here it's always hotenough to swim. Yeah, but as

(03:00):
it has a pool somewhere around Junethat don't cool you off, it's still
better than not being in it.Yeah, I guess. Yeah, the
pool water gets hot, that poolwater gets warm, Yeah it does.
It's still somewhat refreshing. And yeah, you know, move up to a
lake then level up. Okay,they just stay pretty coold, yeah,

(03:22):
I mean not like super cold.It depends I should up my money because
I uh yeah, I have beeninformed, like my pool does have a
heater. I'm informed. You canhave a cooler for a pool. You
really well in fountains. There's littlethings you can do. You can add
it in little fountains, keep thewater moving. My stays pretty cool because

(03:42):
it's really deep. Wow, Isaid something wealthy. You want to have
a pool off slide? Okay,Yeah, I have a diving board.
Yeah, I guess this discussion isover. It's barely hanging on for dear
life. But I'm a diving board. Yeah, you're well paid off.
I mean it comes with the house, right, we're still making payments on

(04:04):
it. Okay, do you haveDFW security in the back, because I
really want to see the video whenthat when the diving board gives way,
someone's gonna do it. I wantit's gonna be a large man that has
had a few too many drinks.Like, hey, check out what I
can do. I can do abackflip. It's way better than throwing a
barstool off of a sixth floor onthe street drunk. If you need me

(04:24):
to break it, I'd be happyto do that. I would give a
lot of money to see that.Yeah, if you got a diving board
and you're not forbidding me from usingit, I'm going to use it.
I just tell everyone to use itat your own risk. I mean you
should get a waiver. Really,it's been on there. It's like from
the eighties or something. Yeah,you need a waiver. Yeah, but
you have a slide, well,a blow up side. I need to

(04:46):
get a Legits, did I godown it? You can put on the
blow There's nothing better than a slidefor a pool that does twisties. I
know they're so expensive. If Ihad to power rank things in the world,
one slide to the pool, Ibelieve that you think that's the number
one thing in the world. Cheese? Oh, okay, expensive? What

(05:06):
just things he loves the most?No? Yeah, the two best things
in this world slides that do twistiesand cheese. Have you ever tried going
down a twisty slide with cheese?To be clear, this isn't achievable by
most humans, but a twisty slidethat is enclosed on the top for part
of your slide is number one one. That is nice, very much the

(05:28):
best. As far as trying tohave a refreshing pool during the summer,
the amount of water. If yougot more in there, that's definitely gonna
help. Then some well placed trees. I don't know how you're looking back
to trees. Okay, we'll gottrees. That's gonna give you a little
bit of a leg up. Buddies, A buddy of mine's wife made us
cut down a bunch of them.She was like, we should really have
some more sun. And as mybuddy Mitch, his wife does she live

(05:50):
there? You got some tools andI was like, I guess, and
so we just started packing stuff down. What yeah, what not? For
me? It's bribe people to bemy friend. The ladies like, son,
you want to come over to thehouse, but you'd want the pool
to be done to your standards.You've got it, it was. It
might as well been your ninety twothousand dollars. It's not paid off yet,

(06:12):
you know sure, Let me tellme what else? Boy, try
it these days. Text in ifyou've put in a pool in the last
few years. You paid on arecent Matt and Shane, Shane Gillis was
bragging about my buying his Mama pooland it was like two fifty and I
was like, boy, that's insane, rich guy pool. I bet Jeff
had a reasonable price there is comparedto fifty you did? This was probably

(06:34):
three years ago. And I wouldsay at the time, I was advised,
if you are going pool hot tubcombo, just know it starts north
of eighty starts. And I neededa waterfall, gosh man, and I
needed a table built in next tothe hot tub in the pool. You
got a built in table. Ohyeah, oh he doesn't it nicely done?

(06:57):
For what everyone playing? You've playedcards against humanity there? Yeah,
you will ruin the carts. Didthat gets you north of one hundred?
No? No, no, ninetytwo total nineteen ninety three. Okay,
okay, but how many ladies stampedconcrete I've made love to Okay for having
that pool? Is the launch,am I? But how much is love

(07:17):
making worse? If it's worth lessthan twenty thousand dollars a pop. I
have not paid off that pool,Okay, so you're like three and a
half ladies. Stop doing that.Stop doing math. The fool's wrong about
halfway. No, didn't get there. It is not paid off yet.

(07:43):
So anyway, so one drive partI have a question to ask you.

(08:26):
And obviously I'm using guys. It'sjust an inclusive human term. Julie,
you are one. So when Isay gods so there's a gender exclusive term.
Correct. I'm removing gender from theequation when I say, guys,
dudes, y'all, you ever postanything on the Internet that you've regretted?
Not once, honestly, all right, everybody's clear. Julie's at least thinking

(08:48):
about it. Yeah, like,hold on something in my mind, A
couple of things. Oh really,Yeah. I posted one picture a long
time ago when I was my firstvisit to Vancouver, when I first started
dating my now husband, and itwas like malfunction. Yeah, it was
like one of those look through thelike look at this beautiful view from our

(09:09):
hotel window, or you're in thephoto reflected in it. Yeah, it
was just like post shower. Therewas a talent hall okay, but still
like that. I wouldn't want toput that out there for the world to
see. You wouldn't post a towelphoto for fun. It depends how I
feel about my bod at the time, you know. Yeah it might have

(09:33):
been I don't know, I don'tremember, but yeah, it was something
that made me regret that I didit. So we'll just leave it there.
Mike, you have a regret anythingyou've posted on the Internet, I
can think of so many things you'veposted and then delete it. I'm sure
I have, Yeah, but Ican't think of any that come to mind
readily. Can you shoot be youposted? I think early on time at

(09:58):
the station here. You made apost about the other station's attendance of like
an event or something. Oh yeah, that got taken down fairly quick by
you. Little shot fired across thebow. Yeah, that might have been
a little Jack Blackfield or some such. Yeah, a couple of Moscow mules.

(10:20):
Yeah, I was ill advise thatyou're right there, there's not Yeah,
I did that over the summer,I think where kind of drunk threw
a little shot at uh our previousemployer for maybe not paying super well at
times? Were you drunk? WhatHey, you had a point. I

(10:41):
wasn't wrong. Yeah, I stilljust shouldn't have posted it. Yeah,
yeah, yeah. Mine's usually ifI'm just drunk and I end up in
like a sports fight on Twitter,and I wake up the morning like that
was dumb and just go delete itall. Yeah, Or if you scroll
back and like Facebook tells you youposted this fifteen years ago, you're like,
god, I know. Yeah.The blessing and the cursive memories.
Uh huh, Well, I willsay this, I haven't done it in

(11:05):
a long time. Yeah, wheneverI get I've done this in a while.
But whenever I get messed up,I don't post anything ill advised.
I usually just asked Charlie Sheen abouthis Babe Ruth memorabilia. They used to
be a real trend. He wouldnever reply he does. He have a

(11:26):
lot of baby yeah, Like he'sa big baseball history buff, and there's
a what's he got he has?Like his original Yankee contract I believe still
like the highest championship rings ever beensold was a Charlie selling Babe Ruth's World
Series ring that Charlie had. Sohe's got enough that when he goes through

(11:48):
it in stages, he's got stuff. He can just sell one thing and
be like and I'm good for acouple of years. Yeah. Yeah,
Yeah, he made a lot ofmoney. Yeah, that's a nice thing
to be able to fall back on. Well, the reason I asked it
is because this has been in thequeue for a little while, and he
does this a lot. I don'treally follow politics, so you're welcome,

(12:09):
listener if you want that. I'msure there's a place you can find it.
But I do follow when people postthings on the Internet, and the
entire Internet is like and Senator JohnCornan loves to post his brisket. People

(12:30):
don't like it very much. AndSenator John Cornyan does not know how to
make a brisket. And I justthought this would be a good time to
tell everybody that posting your meat onthe Internet is a bad idea. It's
controversial that barbecue barbecue Internet. They'rerough, they're tough. Yeah, that's

(12:50):
how you know though, if theyapprove, then you know you've done real
good. If they approve, you'reone of a million. Yeah, but
you can they approve off the waythat you smoked your brisket. Yeah,
yeah, I know that. ButI mean this is very very subjective.
Well, sometimes you gotta have thebar, you gotta have the smoke ring,
Yeah, the smoking, but maybethe smok ring isn't unnecessarily is that
subjective? Guys, it's a deal, Mike. Is that subjective? That

(13:13):
looks like a brisket six times?Yeah, he just keeps reposting it.
I think is it the same pictureof the time, so it's like a
different holidays. He posts the familybrisk Yeah, it just looks like it's
basted and ketchup. Yeah, that'slike he's got a couple of pounds of
rag you on top, and thatthe brisket was pulled about twenty four hours
too late. And I don't knowif he's trolling or if he's proud of

(13:37):
his family stuff. I think initiallyhe was proud, okay, and then
he found out the kind of leanedinto it. To his credit, I
guess, Yeah, it's making ajoke. Was like, hey, we're
having fun here. Yeah, I'mthe funny politician. Yeah, you get
credit if you're able to post thosethings and not go into the replies.
Because if you post stuff and thenyou check the replies, you're not going
to be in a good space.It's brutal. You're just not So.

(14:00):
Yeah, if you like, there'sa reason that people make a bunch of
money to take pictures of the WhopperJunior to make it look appealing, because
making the food look appealing can bea challenge. Yeah, and you think
it's good because you made it andyou're happy and you're enjoying the taste and
you're like, here's my chicken wings. But those pictures of the whopper junior
are like, not really a whopperjunior. It's like made of clay or

(14:22):
whatever? Are they not even madeof beef generally? Not for the food
picks they So you're saying it's nota real whopper junior. No, you
try to bite into that, it'sgonna be a problem for you. Or
it's a cake. The cake?Is it cake? It's cake? What
can be more appealing than a pictureof a nice wapper junior? Literally not?
I don't know. Well, aslide that goes into a fool and

(14:45):
does twisties and cheese with cheese?Way, And what do you think are
the best things in the world Ifyou're ready to go up against my take
of slides that do twisties and cheese? I think sometimes on a show,
just throw something stupid out there andyou might have fun. And what are

(15:05):
we here for if it's not tohave fun? I like to have fun.
Two other things in fun drive thatI have for you because it has
become a tradition for me. AndI don't know if this is algorithm or
it's just what is news, butboy, I see playing stuff every day
and I don't Maybe it's that Iclick on plane stuff. I know,
it's just on one and it's like, oh I was thinking about or a

(15:26):
lot of playing stuff. There's somuch plain stuff. Ever since that exit
door, did did you feel nervousand like more? Do you usually feel
that way? Or was it morenow? It was more now? Wow?
Yeah? Did you check the exitdoor and stuff? No? I
didn't go like rattle it around beforewe took off. Would you walk past
it? Did you at least lookat it like okay, yeah? Did

(15:48):
you have a bad feeling? Didyou know have a bad feeling? I
actually listened when they told you aboutthe flotation devices and the mass under your
seat. I was like, okay, mental note before the kids. No
one listens to that most important spielyou could ever listen to in that very
moment. I think it's pretty selfexplanatory. Though, also to the mask
drops from above me, I thinkI'll be like, oh, I bet

(16:11):
I should put this. There's likethe pull thing you have to pull,
and then you got to make sureyou do this, and then you do
that, and the same with theflotation devices. There's a little like little
strap thing. Yeah, but that'sthat's one that I feel like you're just
counting on somebody to have listened.I know you'll watch somebody pull out there
and we're all just sitting there likein the falling into the ocean, like

(16:32):
why do we Yeah, stewardesses knowhow to do it. They're trying to
take care of themselves. They're notgonna sir, flight attendants. Okay,
sorry, you think they're just walkingup and down giving inges? No,

(16:56):
geez, stewards. This is thissexist, misogynistic a bit is doing a
bit. I hope you know thata lot of people still say stewardess.
No, this is consistently anybody saythat in at least thirty years at least.
Yeah, well, I'm happy tobreak the seal. There are some

(17:17):
words we just don't say anymore.Yeah, the n word stewardess is But
don't come out there and say stewardessis prepared for departure. Yes, it's
the way I know. The yearnot telling the truth is you're still willing
to say stewardess rather than calling itthe esk work. Yeah, okay,
we're on that scale. Does midgetfall? Oh? Because sometimes I'm told
but I feel like it's not offensiveenough. Are we playing? How offensive?

(17:40):
Is this. Yeah, like,there are some words it's not going
to say, and there's someone inthe world that would hear me say midget
and be like, oh, butI don't think the number is high enough
that we would do any sort ofcorrect behavior. Do you think the stewardess
really care that much? I don'tthink they do. Some dude, not
many. I don't think they care. Not many. I'll be a bunch
of them protesting out utter station tomorrow. Do you think the midget's really cud?

(18:06):
I don't know. I need toask, like I think I think
it is less offensive than little Person. Yeah, honestly, little Person doesn't
seem like an improvement. Right.That sounds bad, Right, You're just
a little person. Oh that's dismissive, Right, I'm a whole person.
I think it's part of the insanityof people correcting you for a long time
about it. Is like like ifit was something that was obviously less offensive,

(18:29):
then you'd be like, oh,okay, Yeah, I don't want
hurt anyone's feelings, right, Butno, no, no, don't call
them offensive thing, call them somethingmore offensive. Yeah, I think little
People is way more offensive. Ithink Dwarf makes me think of Gimli,
Like that's a whole separate race ofcreatures, of course, pretty much like
magical powers things of this nature.Oh, gam we had toss Legolis that
one time. And you remember thatgiant axe. Yeah, but he's just
talking about that United flight had todivert because a dog pooped in the aisle.

(18:55):
Oh oh wow. They are soafraid of poop on fight and so
they can't have it out. Huh. Well, so how far into the
flight were they? Okay, I'dlove your line of thinking, Mike,
good job shooting. So dog poopsin the aisle. They were on a
flight from Houston to Seattle. Theydiverted to Dallas less than an hour after

(19:19):
takeoff, so they had been inthe air less than an hour, and
they decided, we got to putthis thing down in Dallas and we're not
going to be able to make therest of this flight. And here's my
newest thing. With airplanes, likethe ones that have pieces falling off,
y'all suck at your job. Youshould probably make planes that stay in one

(19:41):
piece, and that would be betterfor everyone. But boy, what is
our tolerance for what it takes todivert a plane? I know, if
that dog pooped in my lap,get us to Seattle. I don't care.
I mean, I can't. Thatdog pooped in my lap, I
find something to pick it up with. I go to the bathroom and I

(20:02):
flush it. Yeah, poke itwith a stick. Yeah, maybe it
was a special well you know thebit today. I don't want to out
any of my friends, but thereare certainly multiples of them out there,
and you know who you are.It don't take much to get something designated
as a service animal, even thoughthey're not. You just want your dog.

(20:25):
And so I bet that it wasa quote service animal that does no
service except for existing and hanging outwith their owner. Sums to be around
his dog. Yeah, anybody cansay that they're a little bit mentally unstable
and they need the dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. My dog
is my my safety blanket. It'sa therapy dog, if you will.
Okay, So, yeah, dogpoops in the aisle and uh. Reddit

(20:47):
user gig Wizard said that yep,Houston to Seattle. The crew spent over
two hours trying to clean the carpetwith paper towels. Oh my god,
that doesn't make any sense. There'sno way that's true. It's like the
one where the guy pooped and thepilot said it was what do you say?
All throughout the plane? It coveredthe plane somehow. Danny and Stripma

(21:08):
Steve both wrote songs about it,diarrhea plane, Yeah, and so like,
I don't I don't know how much. But there's not a dog out
there that is thrown out enough todivert my airplane. Also, it's two
hours to clean it up, Like, how would you clean anything for two
hours? It's just not that bigan area that apparently they're just mushing paper

(21:33):
towels into it over and over again. But how if I did that for
ten minutes, I'd be like,well, isn't going to be cleaned more?
Some dog pooped? Though, itcan linger like that smell, Oh
yeah, and it is. Itcan be very very bad smelling. I'm
on an airplane and a million timesworse, and it's gonna linger although we're
gonna start vomiting, and then youhave vomiting passengers, people are gagging,

(21:56):
can't get rid of the smell.You try to get it up off of
the ground, but you're really justrubbing it into the ground. I could
see it. It wasn't on aplane, but I whenever I was in
the rehabit kid vomited on me andthey made me laying it for like two
hours. What why? Why?What? Why did you laying it?

(22:18):
All? Right? Answer, allright, let's let's start it. It
wasn't a plane and it wasn't poopbut one time. But let's start at
the top here. Yeah, sayeverything again. I was in I was
in the rehab I went to forhigh school because I was one of those
bad kids in high school. Yeah, and we were in like we were

(22:40):
sleeping, so like you know,whenever we were lights out or whatever,
like you'd be locked in there,shut in there, and you guys are
sleeping like dorms and stuff like that. We had a dorm and the dorm
would be locked. Is this yourdorm mate? Well, these were like
it's like twenty kids to a room. Okay, pure ko not a lot
of mass for going on, hopefullynot. But the record isn't as good

(23:02):
as he'd like it to be.Uh. And so to prevent the free
movement, like you didn't want youdidn't want chaotic bad kids from one room
to go and hang out with chaotickids from another room. So someone would
have to sleep in front of thedoor to the bathroom, and so anytime
you had to go to the bathroom, you'd have to wake up the trusted
kid and be like, hey,watch, you know, make sure I'm

(23:26):
not doing anything bad on my tripto the bathroom. And I was that
guy. The kid had the puke. You were the trusted kid. Yeah,
yeah, i'd been there for thankyou. It's impressive, that's right.
Yeah, and PC stands for trustedand uh yeah, kid got sick

(23:48):
and he had the puke and I'ma notoriously heavy sleeper, so I did
not wake up in time for himto make it to the bathroom. He
just puked by me. And thenwe get on the radio, and because
we could radio to the staff,you know and be like, hey,
we've had a bit of a disaster. Here come help. And instead of
turning the plane around, they said, we'll be there at the time we're

(24:11):
normally there. Figure it out.Oh your flight should have been divers see
that note. You should have theopposite opinion. No, I think No,
I'm all I'm saying is that theirline is not far enough, Like
they just go figle matter bio.Hezard put the plane down, and I'm
like, it's a little bit ofcrap, Like, we're gonna pick it

(24:33):
up, and when we get wherewe're going, you're gonna spray that with
whatever and clean it up for thenext flight. We're all gonna move on
with our days and we're gonna belike, man, that sucked at that
dog poop, Tom, Like,we don't have to put on our parachutes
and jump because a dog took adookie. I am starting to think about
this more. Now. What dothey do whenever they are diverted, like
whenever they get back, everybody offthe plane, like stepping over the dog

(24:56):
crab? Yeah, and it wasoutside the first class bathroom, so that's
everybody going by it. So howis a biohazard? How did they fix
it by having everyone walk in it? I told you they adapted it with
paper towels for two Yeah, no, I heard that, but like they
probably have to do that. Theyprobably tell everybody that it's there and tell
them to step over it, becareful and don't step in it. Well,

(25:18):
then it's fine to step over itin Seattle. Agree, Mike,
Why are you defending Big Airline?Yes? Shoot me, what are you
doing? I'm not. I'm justtrying to add a little logic to this
TC. And you still want tobe in big United in America. Yeah,
show us your money. Coming upnext, it's time for the Sunset

(25:41):
Lounge Juice, sons of bitches,We'll see you there