041224 500 Julie’s Audio Boxes

 It’s Friday during FUNDRIVE so let’s enjoy another wonderfully silly edition of Julie’s Audio Boxes!!!

Episode Transcript

(00:03):
Faster falling, we're stopping all in, we're running in circles again justice things.
We're kid kill kill k little bitat for five o'clock. This is
the speakeasy at pga OMBI up herein what is it more in Frisco,

(00:28):
baby, yeah, Frisco. Iget the northern burbs really really whacked up.
You did see something about prosper asI was driving here. Yeah,
yeah, I mean you got prosperdon't you have one or two? And
we're so and you'll get to mchinni. We're always told to put prosper on
our roster. It's amazing. Igotta play Frisco into Brisco. I don't

(00:57):
know. That's stupid dumping that groupsdisapproves. We're even too stupid for groups.
That's the problem. I do likethe idea of anything y'all do really
bad. I just dump that wasn'tfunny, not good enough for it.
I like that groovy. At leastwe know you're looking out save us from

(01:18):
ourselves, don't what a can beon? Alert here in the last hour?
All right, Well, it isa little after five o'clock. It
is Friday, and if it's alittle after clock, it is Friday.
That could mean one thing and onething only, that being that it's time
for jay Audio Boxes. Yeah boxes, juayo boxes, go home. If

(01:51):
I'm taking these strip cards, thankyou Strip Mall Steve and fake strip Mall
Steve for that introduction. It istime for Julie's audio Boxing, where we
revisit some of the highest and lowestmoments from the past broadcast week. This

(02:13):
is one of my favorite parts ofthe week. We can kind of wrap
everything up, put a bow onit, and go on with our weekend.
We were clean this week, right, we shouldn't be on there,
Jeff, all right, We're neverclean, all right, we should be,
should be? I thought we hada good week. That's the beauty
of the freak though, nailed it. We're never clean, and we have
fun, and all of these areus having fun, which is pretty amazing.

(02:36):
Let's go back to Monday, though, because y'all remember what went down
on Monday. God, I don'tremember. It seems like a long weekday,
you remember fifteen minutes ago, sonobody knows what happened Monday. Come
on Monday, Monday, Monday,Monday. We were coming off of a
weekend. Yeah, Monday we weren'there. Guys, I can't with you
too. I can't tell if they'redoing a bit or not groups. I

(02:59):
don't think they're doing nobody clips.No, I did not. I you
could have given me eight hours,I would remembered the eclipse. Yvonne made
two little circles with his hands.They were they were overlapping in front of
your faces, trying to give youhints. It was. It was so

(03:21):
fun out at Clyde Warren Park whenthe Freak had a really awesome setup there
right in the middle of everything,probably the best place we could have been
set up in all of Dallas totake in the eclipse. This once in
a lifetime experience with so many otherpeople, and as you could imagine,
when this went down, we allkind of freaked out, like everybody experienced.

(03:43):
Most people probably stepped outside and experiencedthe eclipse. If you were in
the path of totality, it's somethingthat you don't want to miss. I
imagine most people screamed one way oranother, because I think that's what people
did. But it's funny. Wewere lucky enough to have Mike's on and
we were being broadcast live on theradio. When we screamed, and when
we got excited about the moon coveringup the sun in the middle of the

(04:10):
afternoon, and we have audio toprove it. Thirty seconds everybody, it's
about to get really weird. Itdoes look like night rain right now.
Your boys got so high because Ifeel like eat me quiet because people are
hating us. Right now we areeight seconds away from your life being changed
forever. Ladies and gentlemen, soakit in. It's the path of totality.

(04:35):
It is, I swear girlfriends withpubic hair is heavier than that.
Yeah, there's no sexual morality inthe path of totality. It's so weird
that people are clapping for the sun. Who are they clapping for the moon?
Everywhere is a question? Whose sad? Are we? All your glasses

(05:00):
off? And look around at howdark it is? My legal dark?
Most there, almost there, arealmost there, almost there? Are you
kidding? Cristada? Look at howdark it is. What has happened?
Show? No glasses were yourtrta lookat it? Look at the scary dias

(05:31):
and this is completely orgasmic. Shootme, Oh my god, look at
how well let me cosina is thisis nuts? Oh my god. Sh
show glasses were you? Oh mygod, Wow, sound like we're on

(05:59):
the Titan. We're all insane.Hold me and everyone out here. It's
confused, PGA. There's a writtenFrisco around like everything there. This is
reviewing audio from the eclipse for anybodythat's concerned. Everything's okay. We're not
currently screaming and freaking out. Thisis Monday when it went dark in the

(06:24):
middle of the afternoon and nobody knewhow to react, so we screamed random
things and got very excited. Somany beautiful moments from that particular clip,
but we have a couple of moreso this second clip from the eclipse day.
Jeff found out that he actually wasquite impressed with this whole thing,

(06:45):
and Ben asked everybody to tell usthe most inappropriate thing that we've ever done,
something we regretted, and this iswhat it all sounded like. It's
crazy, right, man, Thisis pretty cool. It does look like
armagedding up there. Wow, lookat that. Yeah. I thought this
is gonna be so stupid, butit's actually super cool. It incredible,
so you don't have to crap oneverything. Yeah, he's been down playing

(07:10):
this for weeks, really, andnow he's crying. It's just the stuff.
But you know everybody used this weirdoccasion to admit the worst thing you've
ever done. Christina, Well,I did just burwun air, but I
turned my mic off some fantastic neighborspool quite a bit as a kid.
Okay, well to steal everything,man, I watched you and your wife
having said Chatterbay, I hooked upwith my best friend's mom. Oh my

(07:35):
gosh, I think he's serious.James just drove off the road. Oh,
don't look that hurt. I waslooking, Wait, what are you
guys cheering the sun? Wow,this is happening really fas Yeah, guys,

(07:55):
I think I looked at not totalitytoo much to burn your Yeah,
I got some spots. Oh,jeff, I'm a changed man. After
that. I think I want togo commit some crimes. All right,
Oh my gosh, so much happening. That's a lot. I liked it.
Ben tried to say whatever he saidabout his best friends whatever his best

(08:22):
friend's mom. Yeah, and thenSkin was like, oh yeah, that
guy's driving off the road, likesaying I'm not your best friend. So
it wasn't skins. Skin was like, oh yeah, I bet that guy's
mad skin wanted everybody to know,not me though. Yeah, we're just
been in skin. But you're notyour best friend. We're just reasonable friends,

(08:43):
right, I know you? Ohmy gosh. Okay, I'm afraid
we've got one more. We've gotone more. And this is a question
that I think everybody wanted to know. Do people do it during the eclipse?
Okay, we have some time here. Ben. Earlier, you were
saying during a commercial there were someamazing ass out here at Clyde Warning and
you wanted to rank it. Yeah. I told you that in complete confidence.

(09:07):
I just want some of the guyshere look like they work out.
Guy, They really do. Theyreally do. Man. I feel like
all these people are universally bonded togetherforever. Yeah. Do you think any
children were conceived during that? Yes? Not out here. You know some
people timed it out. But nowyou can't guarantee you're making a child.
I guaranteed that someone within our lineof sight. That's what I was not

(09:31):
pregnant during. Not at the park, but in one of those buildings,
one of those building. Yes,someone made a love explode. Someone got
the bid. Sounds like someone fillin the pool there. What I love
it. People are just like huggingand celebrating what just went down. I'm
really glad I got to experience thisoutside of you guys. This was really

(09:54):
cool. That was beautiful. Thenyou treat him like such a need to
I need to go on for itand be like, am I an a
hole? Groovy? I don't controlit. It's only Ben that Julie just
tease off. That's because I knowhe can handle it. He can.

(10:20):
Children everywhere laughing at you. Ilove Ben, well, Ben, I'm
messing with Ben, and it wasbeautiful what he said. And I too,
was very grateful that I got toexperience that moment with all of you,
something we'll remember forever. Yes,thanks Julie, we'll be bonded together

(10:41):
for I was nice to be there. Okay, I'm glad you were nice
to be there. All right,Well, let's move forward because Monday was
really awesome. But then we hada whole nother week of broadcasting to get
to Bobby. This particular clip Idefinitely cannot skip. I didn't mean to

(11:03):
rhyme that, but I did.This is from Today on the Downbeat,
and Mike Siroy has a really greatparty trick Mike. I think, Mike
Reiner, I think yours is President's. Yeah, probably your party trick,
ye. Mike Soroy's party trick isthat he can name every single Master's winner
since nineteen thirty four. This iswhat it sounded like. I present to

(11:26):
you from memory every single Master's winnerfrom nineteen thirty four to present. That's
to be a long time. Andbefore you hear this, I'd like to
remind you that you're hearing someone broadcastingan incredibly high level and someone using about
sixty five percent of their brain power. You two, and everyone listening maximum
seven ten percent. Maybe at anygiven moment we're at sixty five percent.

(11:46):
This is a very smart person atwork. Nineteen thirty four, Horton Smith
nineteen thirty five, Jeens sarahs Innineteen thirty six, Horton Smith nineteen thirty
seven, by ronels In nineteen thirtyeight, Henry Picard nineteen thirty nine is
Ralph gouldal. Nineteen forty is Jimmyde Merritt, forty one is Craig Wood,
forty two is Byron Nelson forty three, forty four and forty five.

(12:09):
No Masters played because of World WarTwo, nineteen forty six, Wait for
one for two for three four nineteenforty six. Was Herman Kaiser nineteen forty
seven, was Jimmy Demrrett nineteen fortyeight. Is Claude Harmon winning the Master's
nineteen forty nine? Sam Sneeth twentytwenty two, Dallas's own Scotti Shuffler won
the Masters, and you're defending champion. The twenty twenty three Master's Champion's named

(12:30):
John Wrong. Thank you my god? Where was I? Where am I?
So? I got out about threeminutes of him naming the rest of
those years? It was really damnimpressive. Was anybody checking? Like?
Was he right? Oh? Ihave no idea, because he's right.
He could have made up every oneof them, and who's gonna stop him?

(12:52):
Like KT might have known five orten of them. But for the
most part, you could say whateveryou want. If I told you guys
that in twenty thirteen, Max Homowon the Masters, like you're not gonna
fight me, I can do whateverI want. Yeah, but I've heard
him do this with a tougher crowdand everyone everyone approved and signed off on
everything that he said. Why dowe just get rid of the Masters?

(13:13):
Because of World War Two. There'speople who aren't fighting. They could golf.
Like those people are fighting so thatwe can golf. Well no,
not wow, they're fighting. Everyone'sall disheveled or freedom. But what do
they want us to do? Justsit at the house, Yes, stare
east, yes west? Maybe justnot golf. I don't know. My

(13:35):
trick's better than his. Oh atrick off? Oh I see it coming.
Let's sell tickets. Fight night.How do those two things fight though,
the President's battle and the master's battle. Well, it would be both
of them like going head to head. They'd each have like a little podium

(13:56):
and they'd stare at each other straightin the eye while we're siving dead pan.
There's no smiling, and they justlook at each other and go back
and forth. Okay, one ata time, yes, one at a
time, first president to current president, first Master's winner to current Master's winner.

(14:16):
I think it'd be pretty amazing,Radio, Mike Weul getting to sit
there quietly for a long time.You're thinking about it too hard. Okay,
let's just let it happen. Okay, Yeah, Well, how many
Masters winners are there? I don'tknow, from thirty something to from thirty
four, yeah, minus three?Yeah, so calling minus three called eighty

(14:37):
seven, give or take one ortwo has I'm not great at math.
How many presidents? Forty something?Forty something? Right? Yeah, we
could do it onn' trumpet forty fiveor something like that. Yeah, something
like forty six. Yeah, okay, yeah, he's going to be forty
forty six? Is a week numberweek number week president? Oh wow,

(14:58):
wow, Mike wuld basically have tosay to masters winners, to each president
to kind of make this work.Who do you think is gonna be number
forty seven? Mike? Oh,I don't want to think about it.
Mister Dallas, I'd vote for him. Let's see here, vote for mister

(15:20):
d Do you all know anything aboutthe movie Stripes? That was a Bhil
Murray or movie military movie that wasfunny, right, yeah, funny.
Phil Murray was in it. Wouldyou understand a reference from the movie Stripes?
Maybe? Okay? Well, Skintried that, and let's see if
his coworkers understood the only good thingabout this dumb radio station. Christina k

(15:41):
Ray Cornbread Ray, Hello, guys, I was standing too earlier. Why
don't you stand with us? Becausethe board's down here and Chuck. Do
you see how far this is?God love you. I don't see how
far it is because there's a reflectionand you're in another room. When's your
next show this Friday? At LeeHarvey's Actually Lee Harvey? You are a

(16:04):
madman. The time that you andyour friends stole that cow and your friend
tried to make it with the cow. I want to party with you,
cow girl. Bend's with me.He's eating stripes. Hey, dude,
good move, dude. You canwait till the break. What are they

(16:26):
doing, y'all? That is skinOkay? First of all, I think
if you want to make an obscurereference for not very many people, I
think that's fine. I think theworst part is the person who you think
you've got a shot with is eatinga sandwich while you're on the air.
Your bestie, your bestie who's allegedlygoing to have your back about leaving hang

(16:49):
out to hanging out to dry.It's the Ben and Skin show. Ben
left Skin out to dry because hewas eating a sandwich. Yeh, that's
all he can thought he had areally great reference. Poor Kray's just trying
to figure out what's going on.That's kind of her permanent role. Before
the reference even started, she wastrying to figure out what he was doing.

(17:11):
Yeah, oh my gosh, themajor radio bumper cars there. I
don't know anything about this movie,and I wouldn't have understood the reference either.
Would you have understood the reference?I don't think so. Yeah,
and you said you thought you knewthe movie. Yeah, but I haven't
seen it a long long time.Yeah, Hey, why not try it's
funny back in the day. Whynot go for it? As hell?

(17:33):
Got to take a shot? Almostsaid something else, shuts uh. It's
been a banner week for skin.He also was doing a Frankel live spot
and fumbled around with a pretzel bag. They are voted best in Town by
their peers. They were voted bestin town by stopping you know, they
went all these different works. Canyou stop that and start over? Because
tell me if it doesn't sound likeBen's eating again at the very beginning of

(17:55):
this, like he's trying to swallowto start the live spot. They air
voted best Intown by their peers.They were voted best in time by their
clients. You know, they wonall these different awards, and so what's
happening over here? Nothing what areyou doing to focus? I can't focus.
What are you trying to trying toopen it? For? Mark Scott
and Gane? Damn it? Itry to get this pretzel bag open?

(18:18):
What are you putting pretzels on yoursalad for? I'm not putting pretzels on
my salad. I need a condiment. So the thing side piece. The
thing about the Frankels, though,is that they're so good? Why can't
you open it? Do you wantme? Tobody want? I can open
it. It's been open. Doyou want to eat a pretzel? Eat
a pretzel? Listen? I gotin a horrible wreck, one more than

(18:40):
I called the Frankels from God?That is glad. What's them? Okay?
What's these guys? Deals? Arethe answers? No, they're not
okay. I'm comfortable with that answer. I wonder if the pretzels were good.
I wonder if the pretzels were worthit. I love pretzel, God,
I love pretzels. The only questionis is it better to have the

(19:03):
little twist or is it better tohave the little Steaks? Because they're both
either eight and can do either.It's not a usual treat, but if
you have the full pretzel rods andsome French onion dip. Boy, you
are working at that point, that'sliving. Yeah, yeah, the full
rod. Not a pretzel person,that's right. I'm not a fan of

(19:25):
dry mouth. I let it gowhen you were kind of dismissive of the
grilled cheese earlier, and now Ican't help but notice that you're targeting pretzels.
That's right. Grilled cheese and pretzelsmeal. No, thank you God,
what a meal that would be.I would put pretzels on that grilled
cheese. Nope, sure would.Well, at least give it a little
something. We said, grilled cheesedoesn't have something. That's what I'm saying.

(19:47):
Oh my gosh, what I'm saying. I think we have time for
one more quickie one here, groovy, let's go to the last one,
the last audio box where Reiner caughtus all off guard when I was talking
about out sleep divorce yesterday. Yeah, it's just kind of this interesting thought.
It's like, you marry this personand you're just supposed to do everything
with them, including sleep, bein the same bed every single night,

(20:10):
even though you both have different desires, you have different things you want to
do. Who knows, like,what if you don't want to go to
bed at the same time? Whatif somebody wants to watch TV? I
think go ahead and sleep. Divorcea natural logical progression to me, Yeah,
sleep divorce, aren't we we havepoop divorce? Right? What are

(20:30):
you saying? What did you say? Nothing? Yes, you did?
What is a poo We can reviewthe tape? What is a poop divorce?
Do you go there and do thatby yourself? Don't you? Okay,
don't you allow your spousal unit todo that? Well, girls don't

(20:55):
do it so right, you know? Right? Okay, No, I
follow. No, you're saying it'spoop divorce because married people don't poop together
because but they never would. There'sno way to do that unless you had
side by side. Well, Hallof Famer Rider, everybody, Mike Wrider,

(21:22):
everybody. When I wander out toofar out on that limb and you
guys just let me twist in thewind, those are my favorite moments when
you just go for it. Ican't find a way to blame us for
that. You know, you saidpop? I know, I know.
Look, I'm not as if that'ssomething that couples do together. I'm not
blaming you, and you've decided thatgoing forward, we're no longer going to

(21:45):
know. And look, I'm notblaming you, I'm not blaming anybody except
myself. Okay, just just wantto make sure, oh, Mike,
never change, Never change. There'smore, and I think we might have
to extend this into the next segmentbecause we do have a lot of What
about Ham's okay, sunset lounge audiobox, what about Ham Ranger home run

(22:07):
pick parties next