041824 300 Jeff's Bucket of Crap

Antonio Brown got blocked on Twitter by Caitlyn Clark, and the reason is hilariously inappropriate! Why did all the old Greek statues have small weenies? It is Snake SZN in Texas, everybody!!! 

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
This is Lee Hbib And on thenext episode of America's Greatest Stories, we'll
take a look at the postal carrier'snew motto. Neither snow nor rain,
nor heat nor gloom of nights daysthese carriers from a swift completion of their
impointed realms. But we're not gettingout of the freaking car It's the Speakeasy
on ninety seven to one, TheFreak. The body was nice too,

(00:39):
and everybody look it after three o'clock. Sorry, this is the Speakeasy and
you're listening to it. On ninetyseven one the Freak. Just a little
bit, we're gonna do a littleHollywood swinging for you, as we always
do around three thirty ish or so. But right now, before we get

(01:02):
to that, we must do this. All we have to give is watching
in our bucket. Okay, buddy, No, I'm not so I don't
know what I'm excited for. Yeah, you guys know how sometimes something is
so incredibly inappropriate that it's funny eventhough it's not funny, not at all,

(01:22):
because too it's incredibly inappropriate. It'sway too inappropriate to be funny at
all. But that makes it funnybecause it's that inappropriate. All Right,
So you've run across something like thisthat much is readily apparent, what is
it? Okay, So we've talkedabout this guy before, and another reason

(01:48):
I shouldn't laugh is because it's themost clear and blatant case of CTE in
the history of sports. Okay,Okay, Antonio Brown, former Steelers wide
receiver Antonio Brown has all of theCTE. Yeah, yeah, when they
don't. If he donates his brainto science, they're gonna open it up
and they're gonna grab it and they'rejust gonna take a picture of the whole

(02:08):
thing and say, that's what ctlooks like. Everything that he hass selling
CT merch, I think. So, Yeah, he's he's trying to break
sports news. He has a newTwitter account that's called ctespn. Yeah,
and he tries to break sports news. He names this cracker of the Day
a lot of days, which ishis white person of the day. Oh

(02:31):
not like goldfish or animals. Soyesterday, my terrible admission is that I
will go look to see what he'shad to say lately, and sometimes it's
kind of funny, and usually it'sjust all completely unhinged, desperate cry for
attention to CTE everywhere. He justuses it out of his ears. Yesterday

(02:57):
he fired off this one. CaitlynClark looks like she keep it Harry.
Oh my god, Oh my god. It's not funny. It's very inappropriate.
It's not funny. Wow, that'sawful. So I was just wondering,

(03:25):
Mike, do you agreet No?So, yeah, that's what he
said. I have no thoughts onI think you do, so then I
don't know. She's very, verygirl. She had a hell of a

(03:46):
day yesterday, didn't Yeah, shedid. She got a Nike deal.
It's gonna make it more than twentymillion dollars. She's getting a signature shoe
and a former NFL wide receiver.With all the CTE fires off, Caitlyn
Clark looks like she keep it hairyand Greg Doyle hit on her and Greg
Doyle hit on her. Has heapologized yet? I think so? Yeah,
yeah, I gotta dig it up. But I did see something come

(04:08):
across saying he apologized and said I'mpart of the problem. It's me hi.
Uh So, if Caitlyn Clark runsher own Twitter account she blocked Antonio
Brown, But if someone runs itfor her. They blocked Antonio Brown for
her, and he noticed that,so he sent out the screenshot of you've

(04:30):
been blocked by this account and itsays cracker of the day hashtag CTESPN blocked
by cousin it. Oh my gosh, are you guys familiar with the Adams
family. Yes, So he's stillsaying she's Harry even after being blocked,

(04:54):
and he's talking about well, justfor the record, to me, yeah,
I don't get the vibe off ofher that things would be anything other
than quite orderly. You were takingthe high road talk at all. I

(05:16):
am taking the high road. Ithought you were gonna say without giggling,
like us idiots like this is incrediblyinappropriate and I'm ashamed of that. Man.
No, no, I never saythat. I don't take the high
road. I just jump on.Yeah. So yeah, that was That
was uncomfortable enough that throughout the break, just knowing that I was going to

(05:38):
bring it up, I couldn't stoplaughing. But it's not like that's super
entertaining and what a well crafted joke. It's like, my god, what
are you doing. It's crazy.You're just commenting on something that's going on
out there. That's what we do. I think we often speculate on puba
care situations of most athletes. It'snot like a thing that guys say to

(06:00):
each other. She looks like,yeah, we speculate, Yes, we
do see her over there, Mic, what do you take full bush?
What y'all do not look at thebar or something? Yeah? Yeah,
he's so excited to tell me thatthis is something that I'm telling you that

(06:24):
in a very matter of fact way. I'm not. I'm not excited about
it in the leaks, but you'rethe only one who's commenting you. Guys
met Marge. Definitely a landing stripgirl, Marge. So anyway, next
and Jeff's bucket of crap as wemake sure that you stay up to date

(06:46):
and keep it moving. Yes,we all needed to know that. We
had to be informed. That's whatwe do. I'm gonna go backwards for
a second. I think openly speculatingabout the the status of that situation on
a human on the internet is veryweird and creepy. But I do think

(07:08):
it's quite okay to objectify, uhthe sports people and be like, yeah,
I'm into that because that person's hot. Because I don't like that women
pretend that that's an US problem.You ever watch a baseball game with a
woman, she gonna talk about thatdude's ass. Mike Trout hits a double
look at his button, those pans, I look at that dump truck.

(07:28):
Yeah, we're allowed to see hotstuff too. The end, Well,
that is not him seeing hot stuff. I know. That's why I made
sure to specify. This is alittle bit of a different veer off of
the road. Although I guess,like if if I were dating someone,
which will never happen in my life, but if I were and they walked
in the room a little buddy andlike jose Le Clark were pitching right,

(07:54):
uh huh? Like I bet hedon't even have any hair down there?
Maybe not? No, Yeah,that wouldn't happen. Woun't all right?
And I have never watched a baseballgate. Well we'll probably start there.
I've never I haven't watched too manybaseball games with girls. But you don't
check out their butts. When Ihave never heard a girl say look at
his ass, I haven't. Idon't know if it's that we're not that

(08:18):
into like asses in general, orwomen love baseball butts, do they?
I speak for women. They lovethe baseball. But I've never thought about
it. I just watched baseball.I've never heard had one comment on that
to me. Yeah, yeah,Jeff, Like, right now, look
at Hobby Bias's butte. He's atthe plate, he's got a dunk.

(08:39):
He's one of the many guys thatsmashed a baseball off of Jack Lder earlier.
Nice a sack. But I don'tknow, man, a couple eggs
in a towel. Oh, youguys ever wonder about the old Greek statues
of neked men? No, it'sgonna be a weird one. What would

(09:01):
we wonder about? So they makethere's a lot of old Greek the song
let's celebrate. Just don't play thesong. Oh I don't have it,
Thank god. I feel like alot of people have noticed that you have
a yeah, six songs once.Oh gosh, I'm hungover. A question

(09:37):
that many people ask, much likethe baseball butt thing, is how come
on all of the old Greek statuesthe dudes have tiny pain? There are
no none of those statues have adude that's blessed? Is that just how
they were back then? A fairquestion, and that is what people have
often wondered, was that just youknow, what we were working with back

(10:01):
in the day and over time wehave grown, or what's going on if
you will? Historian Paul Crystal.Historian Paul Crystal went to work on this,
which could you imagine that? Like, if you're a historian, this

(10:24):
is my life's work. Yeah,what am I going to do this month?
I'm going to dig through the scrollsabout these Greek statue penises see what
I can find. The answer isthat the small pene was in line with
Greek ideals of male beauty. Itwas a badge of the highest culture and
a paragon of civilization. It wasa badge of the highest honor in a

(10:50):
paragon of civilization. Yeah, tobe not so well endowed, Yes,
to be micro like Hitler was,he had a microdome. So yeah,
you know how if you're like watchinga TV show or a movie, you
could probably have the sound off andjust based on the way that they'd portray

(11:13):
things, you could tell who's thegood guy and the bad guy, Like
they can make the bad guy lookmenacing and the good guy looks I don't
know, wholesome or whatever. Yeah, Apparently back in the day in ancient
mythology, anything that was rendered withvery large or excited that part of the

(11:35):
body was usually the bad guys orevil or up to no good. That's
how they displayed it. It waswith bigger dome, and so the small
one was just showing that this guy'sa good guy, and the bad guys
were more blessed often than not.Actually turgid, yes, yes, yes,

(11:56):
heft and turg both. Yes,yes, even like fools and comedies
would be displayed with a large appendage. So it was like this, it
was that was bad. Yeah,like stupid or bad like over a year.
Yeah yeah, like you're an ogreyeah yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah yeah. Interesting. When didthe tables turn? It's a great question.

(12:20):
When did it become cool too?Probably the porn boom of the seventies.
Uh maybe was there a was thatwhen porn, really porn really boomed
it was it was when it crossedover a little bit more into the mainstream
than it had been. M Yeah, I can confirm that in the early

(12:43):
nineties that at your standard video store, that section was very popular because when
we were poor, my dad triedto open a video store and he had
the little set that was through thehanging beads. You had to walk through
the beads to get back there.Yeah, the magic beats. And I

(13:05):
didn't know what was back there.I never found out n till I was
an adult. Back there, Iwouln't lie back no, But as an
adult I found out because my dadwas like, remember when I had that
video store and it was like,uh huh, And he's like, do
you know why I had to sellit for no profit? And I was
like, huh huh, And he'slike, because they started cracking down on
the porn, Like that was thewhole profit profit. The prophet was in
that room and everything in the frontof the store was just there for show.

(13:28):
But really all that mattered was theporn section behind the beasts. Yep
ye Well anyway, and other news. If you watch the TV news today,
you may see a video of aof a mother and son walking out
of their home and there's an aggressivesnake that does a lot of slithery slithery

(13:48):
snapping at him. Yeah, I'veseen it. Yeah. That is being
accompanied by the warning that we arehere in Texas in snake sison. It
is upon it, and it isincumb upon all of you. To realize
that we are here. Yes,and we do have them, and it
is that time. Did you knowthis, mic? Oh, yeah,
you knew that we had entered snakes, isn't Yes, Yes, I know

(14:09):
this. I didn't know that.I'm ready for them. What do you
mean you're ready for them? I'mon the lookout for them. Yeah.
What will you do if you seeone? Get away from it? Oh,
I will do. I'm doing thesame as Mike on the first half.
My second half is a little different. But I am on the lookout.

(14:31):
But if I see one, Ilike to drop down to all fours
and prepare for combat. Ah.I like to get down on their level
and make my intentions known. It'sjust going to strike you then, and
we'll win. No snake is goingto win a fight against a human.

(14:52):
Yeah, it'll bite you and eatyou, cook you. That's right,
it'll cook you like a giant squid. Yes, love to see a snake
cook a human arms. See whatit looks like. How does that work
out? Maybe if you pick itup from behind and start slinging it around
and everything. Yeah, yeah,maybe you can, you know, disoriented

(15:16):
to where you can you know,put it back down to the ground,
pick it up again and and itsnap off off. Well, the boy
in the video that you're going tosee on the news was hurt a little

(15:39):
bit in a couple of different places. But it's because while they were freaking
out about the snake, Mom pickedhim up and tried to run away and
they fell in the yard. Hisinjuries are actually from mom, But she
tried to pick up the snake,pooped up her son to run away,
and then they fell in the yardbecause the snake was just like waiting for
them on it on their board,was sunbathing, Yeah, and then when

(16:02):
they came out, the little lawnchair with his little sunglasses on. Yes,
a little margarita and a book cherry. That's with his little lawn chair.
We do have this margarita, yeah, cools. Yeah, but a

(16:26):
third of his little snake body ishanging off the bottom of the chair towards
the ground. It's frustrating. Hecan't keep like the top tilted at the
right angle where he can really relax. You know, he's chair. I
wish it, man. It's definitelynot made for me, was it?

(16:48):
What a snake chair looked like?The ground A real long stretch from fatric
h I pretend not to be.Yeah, it would be like you take
a dog bed, but then justshrink it down to the width of the
snake and as long as a snake, and it's just the little skinniest thing.

(17:11):
We do have many snakes in NorthTexas, dozens of different kinds.
Some of the more common venomous snakeswe have, or the cotton mouth,
the copperhead, and the coral snake. Do you guys know how to identify
what's what? You can do this? Let's see. Come on, if

(17:38):
red touches black, throw it back? If oh, yeah, yeah,
you're right. If he's in theballpark, red touches yellow, kiello,
yeah, ki fellow, red touchyellow, kill a fellow red and black
friend of Jack, red touch black, friend of Jack. Yes, so

(18:00):
let's not throw it back. Thatworks because I wouldn't know what throw it
back mean? Is that good orbad? Right? Throw it back mean
get it away from me because it'spoisonous, because that would be wrong.
Right, it's friend of Jack.You don't have to kill it. Who's
Jack? I don't know, justa guy. I'm just trying to figure
out. Lot of snake friends.They say, if you see a snake,

(18:22):
it's important to stay calm. Movingtoo fast will get it to go
and bite you. Oh that's agood pace. Keep your lawn cut low
and remove brush or debris where theymight hang out. They like debris.
Huh. I do like the ideaof what the CDC recommends. If you're

(18:45):
bit by a snake, take apicture of it. How do you take
a picture of it when you're busybeing bit by a snake? Just supposed
to be incredibly calm after you getbit by a snake, and then follow
it from a safe distance until itchills out and poses, and then take
a picture so that they can identifywhen you get to the hospital what sort
of thing you've been bitten by.You can't get your phone open because they're

(19:07):
trying to use the face ID butit's not taking, So then you have
to try to remember your password,and nobody knows that it's a whole thing
been bit by a snake. Thenyou get to the hospital and they charge
you like one million dollars for thespecial venom sucker outer drug. I remember
I was a little kid, Iran across a copper head one day in
my grandmother's front yard, and soI started screaming and everything that came out

(19:33):
and looked at me and wondered whatwas wrong. I said, there's a
copper head down there. And mygrandfather went around to the to the barn
and got out a hoe and cameback and just it's like a Dancy Sneggas,
snap right off. It's a greatstory. Yeah, I turned my

(19:55):
mic up, so you brought meWiel did our part? We did.
That's a great story, Mike,compelling and rich. Coming up NeXT's time
for Hollywood swinging. Oh yeah,vasectomies are having a moment. What that's

(20:19):
right, What a good moment.Find out next