042324 500 FUNDRIVE

 When Jerry Jones makes words, should we just not worry about it? He spoke today and we don’t know how to feel.

Episode Transcript

(00:14):
You kind of love these guys.I'd love to see them, but I'll
bet they never tour or play liveor nothing. You meaning you're talking about
any concert or like a a Lubieseither. I'd like to see if it
a Lubies, Yeah, that'd befun, right, I'd go up to

(00:36):
them whip their ass questions. Yeah, Hey, let me get a bite
of that chicken fried steak. Askyou something. Yeah, tell me about
some of those synth sounds you guysuse man? Tell me about that to
deal with that? Yeah, wellthat'll probably never happened. No, you
could see the Crusaders somewhere. Yeah, I know, I could see the

(01:00):
cruise. Well is that their name? No, he's that's the next thing,
ye, Capital Cities. Yeah,Oh sorry, I'm not sure all
the Crusaders are still. I justlooked up at the screen and saw what
grooves had on it, and Ithought that was what was playing. But
that's what he's going to play next. Yes, that's what he's doing?
Or is he? Or is he? Hey, he's a shifty wood man.

(01:26):
You gotta watch him. He's awhat that's why they call me shifty
Shooty? Yeah, that's right,Shooty. Shot you know Shifty Shooting Fun

(01:55):
Drive is brought to you by ParkerUniversity. As you guys question, shoot,
yeah, go ahead. Do youthink when Jerry Jones makes words that
maybe we should just not worry aboutit? Yes? Do you think that
his will forever? Everyone will?Sometimes when he talks, I feel like,

(02:23):
Okay, he knows what he's saying. But sometimes I wonder if his
cognitive function is functioning. I mean, yeah, that's in his eighties,
And sometimes I wonder is it meanto talk about what Jerry Jones says and
make fun of him or is itfair game because I mean he's choosing to

(02:45):
put himself on radio and TV allthe time. Yes, it's he invites
this sort of thing. And asfar as we know, and if they
didn't want us to know, theycould certainly keep us from knowing. Yeah,
but as far as we know,he's never been diagnosed. No,

(03:06):
I'm sure he would tell us hehas the brain of a thirty six year
old or something. But sometimes hemakes his words and I'm just like,
oh, tough day for Jerry today. But he seems to really like it.
Yeah, talking in front of people. Yeah, he does seem to
like it. And he puts himselfout there and he's never been diagnosed.
So I mean that sounds like fairgame to me. Cool, Oh,

(03:27):
this is a homemade hot see thathe's functioning there. He's kicking ass right
there. He knows exactly what he'sdoing there. He's having a homemade hot
dog. Which it's obviously not ahomemade hot dog. It's a hot dog
at a high school game. Sothey pulled it. A homemade hot dog
at a high school game. Whatis a homemade hot dog? Like you
ground up pieces of animal that areleft over, put him in a tube

(03:51):
and what's get a weenie and stickit in the oven for a few minutes.
That's not a homemade hot dog.Yeah, microwave hot dog. Oscar
Meyer made that hot dog. Peoplecan make it or the companies like an
Oscar Meyer. Yeah. I mean, I guess if you really wanted to
try and do homemade, you'd haveto how to make a homemade hot dog.

(04:15):
What's what's the kind of meat?It's pig meat it is, So
you'd have to take the pig andyeah, we have to get a hold
of the pig. Yeah, they'llmake venison or whatever sausage with the deer,
it'd be like that. But makinga hot dog, yeah, we
could do. They say we couldmake our dog obviously. You know,
if you go to buy hot dogs, you can find all beef, you
can find poor hot dog. Youknow, whatever we got, we can

(04:38):
make a whole about ham. Wecould do a ham hot dog. Yeah,
that's a good question. That's ahome that's a homemade hot dog.
It ain't a homemade hot dog.It's not. It is absolutely positively not.
That's this a homemade was an oscar. Look, I have to tell

(05:00):
mess on the sticks, you don'teven better than the hot bug. This
is a guy that's just this isa hot dog bum a conversation. Was

(05:29):
that like an all or nothing orsomething that the Cowboys participated in. Yeah,
they think the Amazon one or whatever. They're not real people. I
love that the high school stadium hotdog bun. Oh, we gotta get
this at the stadium. How didthey make Guess one and whoever the other
family member probably Charlotte X or whatever, sit there and he's like, I

(05:51):
gets the foil that makes it likethat. I didn't think that was Jerry
Jr. Okay, because obviously it'sjust a soggy bun. Yeah, it's
been and foil and they're like,oh, there's a hot dog too.
So has Charlotte's ex been banished fromthe Kingdom? I believe so. Yeah.

(06:14):
I think Shy's banished. For awhile he was making noise and it
was going to be a whole ordeal. But I think they figured it out.
But yeah, I used to runthe Desperados. Is that what they
were called there once? One time? They were Yeah, they Esperados.
Yeah. I did sidelines for themfor a little bit. Did you talk
to Will McLay there he was thecoach of the Despera probably yep. Not

(06:36):
a memorable experience, apparently, No, it was great. I only did
like a couple of games. Iremember the best advice that Brad Sham gave
me get out, never do becausehe was doing the games too. Yeah.
No, it wasn't quite get out, but I remember him saying,
don't ever have a report that saysthere's no report, like from the side

(07:00):
life, because sometimes they'd be like, let's send it down and be like,
well there's nothing to report, Likethat's the worst sideline report ever.
There's no reason to say there's nothingto report. Just don't throw it down
to the sideline reporter. And Iwas like, yep, okay, well
I'll probably just go home. SoBrad yelled at you because you said that
once he said there's nothing to report. I must have I don't remember.
Yeah. I think it was evenabout an injury or something. I don't

(07:21):
know, because he'll be accidentally mean. He doesn't realize he's giving some Brad.
Yeah, he's great, but he'llhe won't think anything about being like,
oh and by the way, here'swhere you fed up and all right
to have a great day. Yeah, and he's like, go hang out
with Christy for a while. Yeah, he squared away. Brad is great.
I don't think he's the one whofired me from the Cowboy Hour.

(07:44):
I don't think so he just hadto break the news. But you don't
know for sure. But he toldme it wasn't up to him. He
was like, obviously he's not upto me. And I think the man
who's making me tell you is acoward. But yeah, because I quit
their radio station, they I thinkwe're like, get him out of here.
He can't be doing cowboys stuff.That's silly. Seven one seven.

(08:07):
How is it fair? That ushardworking, intelligent people are where we are
and those hacied morons are billionaires.This is a hot dog bum. I
think it's very relatable. I betif you just had me micd up at
all times and sent me to ahigh school game, you'd get one hundred
and twenty seconds that or something likethat. I was hot dog too,

(08:31):
was fun, though, huh,can you give your diabetes? Well,
they had their the Dallas Cowboys hadtheir pre draft press conference today, and
I know what you guys are askingyourselves. You're asking, are the Cowboys
still all in the way they've beenall in? Yeahske's been wondering that.

(08:52):
I have been wondering it. Jerry. At one point in the pre draft
press conference, he said, we'revery proud of the roster. We feel
very very good about the promise ofthis roster this season. We feel great
about what we've been in free agency. We're all in. We're all in

(09:16):
on the draft. Is he makinga joke out of his own words we're
all in on the draft? Well, yeah, duh, I'm all in
on this press it says I'm allin on whatever's coming up next. My
favorite part is we feel great aboutwhat we've been in free agency. They
didn't sign anyone what we have been. Yeah, they've been a non factor.

(09:41):
They feel great about it. Idon't know he doesn't care. I
don't understand. He just cared moreMountains hot dog and he does care about
the hot dogs, and I thinkthat that's important. If they do,
do they have good hot dogs atat and T, Like, do we
know did they follow up and getthis stuff? Look? Did they get
the Highland Park High School hot dogs? Whatever game they were at there would

(10:01):
assume that was a was it Paxtonthe guy who went to Texas? Mm
hmmm, I think he played atHighland Park. No, but don't you
think people like that if they sayif they encounter anything that they like,
they're like, oh, we're gonnahave to get some of this for the
stadium. Yeah, because they can, like they think they can acquire,
Well, they probably can't acquire anythingthat they want, so they probably have

(10:22):
no intention of getting the hot dog. But makes them look cool and feel
cool to be like, oh,yeah, it's good, we're gonna have
to get some of this in thatbig giant stadium that I own that I
get to decide what goes on andwhat kind of food we serve. What
if Jerry did after that? Offcamera? He sent Steven and he was
like, no, seriously, gocheck them out. We're gonna get these
hot dogs in these buns. Stevenwalk down and he goes, obviously,

(10:43):
we'd like to get those hot dogsy'all got. And the person behind us
like, okay, all right,and he's like, so what are they?
What are y'all working with? Andthey're like, here you go,
sir, and it's the eight packof your Oscar Myers that you get at
Kroger or whatever. Yeah, andhe's like, we got to get them
buns to god, no problem,and it's the wonderbred white hot dog bun.

(11:05):
Yeah, square away, sir.Would you like some prenches mustard with
that? We got you covered.Also, at their pre draft press conference,
they did more of the stuff wherethey bitch about how much money their
players want to make because that's howthe world works. Oh you said they
were going to do that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.

(11:28):
Jerry said, you may be workingon contracts and not moving anything, but
your eyebrows. I don't know what, don't I don't I guess he's saying
that they've been working on contracts butnobody would know it, and not moving
anything but your eyebrows. You're justwinking at people backwards, winking. Who
in the world would think that we'renot working on it? I work on

(11:50):
it. It pops up at twoin the morning. Sometimes what you're actually
questioning is why don't you have somethingdone and negotiated and put in the droll
pops up where on his phone andhis morning. I think he just counts.
I think he counts having a thoughtas negotiating. Okay, Yeah,

(12:13):
I was thinking about next contract lastnight. I was working on it with
who I thought of it. Iwas like, man, he's still on
got one. Well, just kindof tossing a few things about it around.
Well, we'd like to see somemore leaves fall, we'd like to
see some more action. So theyjust speak in generalities that don't mean anything.

(12:35):
And Michael Gelkin did a pretty goodarticle in the Dallas Morning News.
I remember if it was today oryesterday, that explained exactly what's happening right
now, Because exactly what's happening rightnow is just like it's easy to make
fun of him and punch him inthe dong and I like to do it
too. But all that's happening isthey already did all in. They just
didn't use the words then, andthey're paying for it. They're about to

(12:58):
pay for it next year. It'svery likely that there's gonna be like sixty
million dollars hitting their salary cap forplayers that don't exist on their football team.
They've already kicked all of the cansreally, really far, and the
bill is coming due. Tank Lawrencewon't be under contract next year. Zach

(13:18):
Martin won't be under contract next year, Dak Prescott won't be under contract next
year. Michael Gallup has already gone, Brandon Cooks won't be under contact track
next year. But all of themhave moneies that are gonna hit you next
year without them being on the team. That's what happened. Yeah, and
he can't just this is gonna bemean. I don't think. I don't

(13:41):
think he knows how the stuff works. If I'd guess, I don't think
Jerry has any idea of how thestuff works. So he's got people to
tell him, right, and ifhe like, you could just say at
a press conference and maybe it's justyou know, what's the point of getting
that into the MINU show to yourfan base of like, yeah, I

(14:03):
was stupid to say all in obviously, like we were all in last year.
Remember, like Michael Gallup wasn't evengood at football, and we moved
a bunch of his money to laterand then we had to cut him,
and it cost us money to cuthim, and it's cost us money again
this year to not have him teamnext year because we signed him to a
bad extension. We signed Terrence Steeleto a bad extension, which looks awful.
The guys who we did pay earlywere guys like Jalen Smith, Michael
Gallup, Terrence Steele, Ezekiel Elliottwho we had to cut. And so

(14:26):
now we're terrified of signing guys early. And so even though there are very
best players and some of the bestplayers in the league, it's too late
to sign them to the deal thatwe should have already signed them too.
So we're going to tell you thatwe're watching and waiting and we want to
see more. But what's really happenedis we ourselves right and by not getting
things done a year two ago,and so now we're fed and at the

(14:48):
mercy of these guys and their agents, who are the best at their position,
and they're almost out of contract,so they're like, why would I
do a deal now? They all, yeah, they aft everything up.
Let me realize that they're just tryingto kick it down the road even further.
They don't have to deal with ityet. Yes, because to sign
DAK or CD today is basically tocall their agent, pull down your pants

(15:13):
and say, let's get this overwith. Yeah, that's what that phone
call it is. Because you know, CD's happy to be like, yeah,
I know. Justin Jefferson needs acontract too, so does Jamar Chase,
and every one of them that signsis just more for the next guy.
So I'm cool. And Dak's like, you dumbasses. Literally, let
me get to the last year ofmy contract with a no trade cause I'm

(15:37):
going to enjoy free agency next yearif you don't money whip the hell out
of me. So they screwed themselvesand that's where they are right now.
Like Stephen Jones had a quote,you don't think the representatives of Justin Jefferson
and CD and Jamar Chase aren't talking. You don't think they got their eye
on something really big. Please,They're not ready to come in here.
Same thing with Micah, same thingwith Dan. It's a little cat and

(16:00):
mouse and total respect for them atthe end. He had to throw that
one in there. So what they'resaying is like, no, they don't
want to give us a good deal, so we can't call them. We
can't do that. But whatever,we'll be drafting on Thursday. It'll be
fun. Yeah, we'll have agreat time. We just have to get
all the good players. Okay,what's the number one? Need jack all

(16:23):
of it and when it's over,we'll all look at it and say,
there is no way that this thingwill not be in the super Bowl next
year after the draft. That's afterthe draft. That's not happening in this
year. After the draft, we'llall be safe. No we won't,
No, we won't. This isthe least interested, most eye rolling I've

(16:45):
ever seen from the Cowboys fan base. And it ain't close like the number
of people who are just like whatever, there's nothing you can do to excite
me. And it's for a reason. It's the way this all. Wait
till wait, till left of thewait for the spin to come down,
wait for all those people to buythe way they always do. And then

(17:10):
see what they're saying. If theCowboys win the division with what they're going
to run out there, Dak Prescott'sgetting fifty billion dollars. I agree.
I go, yeah, yeah,there's a yeah, yeah, there's a
big part of the fan base thatit's just like optimism is fun, yes,
and once you've had your draft,now all of them are going to
be great. And here, okay, so here's the date. I looked

(17:30):
this up this morning. I wasjust having fun. So their biggest need
is a starting left tackle and astarting center, and a starting running back
and a lot of help at defensivetackle. That's probably their biggest needs.
And that's more than one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's more than
one. And so I looked itup. I went back and I was
like, okay, give me thelast five years of Cowboys drafts and how

(17:52):
many guys that they drafted started asrookies. And over the last five years
the answer is five players one peryear. Now, it didn't work out
as one per year. It waszero and last year zero five years ago.
The Mic no CD and Trayvon yearwas obviously two. But over a

(18:17):
five year stretch, the average findingone starter per draft. Now, if
you don't have anyone at a position, I guess whoever you draft could start.
But it doesn't mean they're will begood. It just means that you
were like, here you go,it's a person. Yeah we got a
person and here he is. Yeahwe got guys. So yeah, they
got a lot of stuff to do, and like, I'll have fun Thursday

(18:40):
and Friday and Saturday. I lovethe NFL Draft. I think it'll be
fun. You can get excited aboutwhoever they end up with, and if
it looks like they have a goodplan and if you think that they got
good players, that's always lots andlots and lots of fun. But yeah,
this year is absolutely positively. Themtaking their stack of papers that are
a little out of whack, theykind of tap them on the desk to

(19:00):
get them straight. That's what they'redoing with their salary cap right now.
They're like, guys, we areft next year, we owe a lot
of people money that aren't going tobe here. We have tightener belt.
You try to get this thing squaredaway and moving forward. Like that's what
they're doing right now, and that'sgoing to make your odds of being very
very good next year, go downsignificantly, man, and then we'll decide

(19:22):
is it the quarterback we already haveor a different quarterback? How wild would
that be? What if they pickeda quarterback in the first round, that'd
be fun, right, I'd bechaotic. Chaos is fun. Chaos is
super fun. They just announced theDallas Cowboys, number twenty four overall,

(19:42):
select Michael Pennix quarterback. Washington,You go, holy crap, this really
is DEXX farewell Tour. I thinkthat would excite people and be exciting.
Yeah. Mcneat, they're going todo something new and we'll see what happens.
How far out of the realm ofpossibility is that? I don't believe

(20:08):
it'll happen. Well, I don'tbelieve it'll happen, But just how far
out of the realm of possibility isit? It's not impossible. It's not
impossible that the Cowboys are looking atit and just going, look, we
got to where we got, andwe gave it our best shot, and
we did everything we could to havethe best team that we could have,
and we moved all our moneies around, and we had Dak for cheap and

(20:30):
we had Dak for decent. Amountof money. We had Dak for more
money and it never worked, andwe just need to redo the whole fing
thing. And it ain't him.I mean, I think there's people out
there that feel that way. SoI don't think it's impossible, But I
don't think anything about the way they'vemoved this off season nice to me believe

(20:51):
they would do it with a highpick. No, there's nothing to suggest
that'll happen, and I know itand understand it. But yeah, at
the same time, it doesn't seemso totally far fetched for me to to,
you know, count it in therealm of the impossible. No.

(21:12):
I think the biggest evidence you havethat it could be possible as this entire
offseason. Yeah, Like, thisentire offseason has not been done as if
you have a franchise quarterback on yourteam. Yeah, otherwise you would have
already extended him. That would havesaved you money, you would have put
more players around him, and you'dbe trying to win. And it's not
been done as in such a wayto lead anybody to think that you are

(21:33):
really planning on serious contention next year. Right, They're letting their quarterback become
a free agent in the NFL.In real life, you know who that
happens to, Only Kirk Cousins.That's who reaches free agency as a quarterback
in the NFL. Well, whereverhe went, he was worth it.

(21:55):
Damn right. He was a sweet, sweet man and he's a legend at
the bank. Anyway, cowboys crap, Sorry, wedged it in on you.
I just wanted to say, allright, I like cowboys crap from
you. There you go. Iwanted there. It is uh okay kicking,
that's fun. Drive. How aboutthat? We did it all right?
Coming up, nuts, let's getour asses in the lounge. Get

(22:18):
you ready for MAVs Game two.Party our nuts off.