Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
You're listening to the downbeat on ninetyseven to one, the freakin God dreams.
I'm true and I wonder if youknow. There's a whole Wikipedia page
Danny for aviation accidents and incidents inthe Atlantic Ocean. Oh, we'll be
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going through these one by one onWednesday. As we say goodbye to Kevia,
we wish him Dale travels. Don'twish me Dale travels. That's the
worst thing you could do. Wewish you Dale travels as you had thirty
thousand feet in the air, probablyhigher, not Dale travels over a deep,
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dark ocean. It's gonna take.It just doesn't make sense if you
if you really think about it,getting on essentially a tiny flying tile and
all over the second largest ocean onEarth. You you're gonna be in that.
It seems like a bad plan,doesn't it. Yeah. That stupid
metal tube with some silly wings onit. Yeah, well the wings will
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stay on, Yeah, these wheelswill be fine. Yeah, when we
land, it's gonna work. It'sgonna work. There's one of those that
did stick with me though those incidentsas a kid, and it has created
a large part of my fear ofthe ocean. And I don't know which
one it was, but I rememberthem talking about finding the body and the
body was puffed up like a pufferfish. The bloating is incredible. Yeah,
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Like, plus you're gonna be flyingthrough clusters of Iranian drones. Yeah,
hey man, that was wild,wasn't it. Yeah? Well,
when you get your golf coverage brokeninto by a special report from CBS that
World War three is beginning, whoawhoops, back to the masters have a
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great day. I was like,well, is that all? Is there
anything else we need to know aboutit? Is there? Are they going
to respond? They were very quick, But that was that was That was
a wild way to learn. Idon't know. And then it just reminds
you of George Bush knocking the balldown the middle of the fairway. Get
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them terrorists. And watch this Tshot. I think I have it.
I'm looking love. This is oneof his favorite pieces of audio. He
says he doesn't go a week withoutthinking about I don't Matt. He would
creak me up for a minute.I think I have it? Oh me
once? No that's not no,it's not that one. This one.
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He can't take the high horse andthen claim the low road. That's not
it either. It'll take time torestore chaos. Okay, not that one.
This one. Maybe it's this one. I know what I believe.
I will continue to articulate what Ibelieve and what I believe, and I
believe what I believe is right.That's not the one. Sorry, it's
this one. I call upon allnations to do everything they can to stop
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these terrorists killers. Thank you.Now watch his drive and crushed two fifty
down the middle. Yeah, Birdietime, it was what a gangster under
restore chaos CBS special report though Israelis attacked by Iran back to Golf,
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I was like, heavy, whatthat's kind of big? Jim nantz is
going and we think our correspondence backin the newsroom working on the chaos in
the Middle East over the twelve Homafor Pond, I mean just crazy.
But yeah, I'm sorry, Noah, that's all. I just had one
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of those big fights that crashed intothe ocean, stuck with me as a
twelve year old, and you don'tforget it, you know. I think
we'll be fine, probably, butI mean, yeah, I'm hopeful,
luckily, I hope you were justtake off. Watch a movie nap Land
safely in Italy. Hope that's whatwe want. But even help if one
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of the two main companies responsible forall of our intercontinental flights were not cutting
corners right, actively cutting corners andhaving their CEOs retire, Yeah, they
just leave, leaving millions and millionsof dollars in salaries. You'd only do
that if you knew it was aboutto get worse. It's not like there's
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blood on our hands, because youwon't see the blood of the people who
disappear into the North Sea Bermuda Triangle. They say, the best way to
know when you're on a plane thatsomething's about to happen is if you feel
even the slightest bit of turbulence.Hush a little bit. Yeah, So
if you even feel like a littlebump or something, you know, get
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right with the man upstairs. I'mI'm taking a flashlight and I'm actually going
to find a way to maneuver ontothe tarmac and make sure all bolts are
tightened. Okay, I like that. You should do that tonight. Well,
I don't know the plane number yet. I have a little more recon
to do on that. We'll figureit out. See now, I'm nervous,
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Mattie. We hit the introth tamAtlantic bath. I won't like it.
I don't like it. You canjoke about my demise and then I'm
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gone, and you know, back, I wish I wouldn't joke so much
about the demise. Feel awful kiddingme? Pull the tape and play it
for years. It was so funnywhen that happened. Already called it if
you're taking an Atlantic bubble bath witha rubber sharky, that will be really
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really upset. So uh. Coachellawas this weekend and it was streamable on
the YouTube. So you get onYouTube and you can watch it all if
you wanted to. I actually watcheda lot of it on Today is It
and it's terrible. I watched someof it really not good. But all
I found video wise was like userfootage. Is there an official thing?
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Yeah, on the Coachella channel,but it's live. They don't go back
and show you what happened the daybefore. Because I watched some some Lona
del Ray stuff which I was interestedin, and I saw her performing with
Billie Eilish. It was really good, but you know, it was some
idiot with a phone yeah, Billyjumped out there with Lana del Rey on
Friday night your Saturday headliner. Iforgot who was Saturday. Actually, I
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know that No Doubt played on Saturdaynight. They run Olivia Rodrigo on stage.
They had a lot of stuff goingon, But one of the people
who was asked to perform at CoachElla on Saturday was Grimes. Mike,
do you know who Grimes is?Uh? Yeah, I know that was
uh Elon's X. Yes. Ithink they have fresh babbies together. I
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think they have two. And they'vegot weird names, yeah, with numbers
and x's in their names. SoGrimes used to sing and maybe she still
does. But this was a DJset, which I didn't know, and
this just happened to be on becausethey had like a four screen thing and
you can kind of just jump around. Well, I just happened to go,
okay, what I don't even knowwhat Grimes looks like. Let's see,
you know, and it's techno EDMtype music going on, right.
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But I happened to see this liveand I had no idea at the time
that it was going to take theInternet by storm the next day, but
it did catch me a lot.I was like, this is insane.
What now. Fortunate timing on yourpartly because number one that you're even watching
Grimes, right and then you tunein just for the melt down. I
was waiting on Blur to start.Here's a little bit of Grimes first.
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I didn't know she had a crazylist either. Okay, I hate to
do this. Oh my track,this is insane, Oh my track.
I'm sorry. Sorry, what justhappened, Kevin? She said something left
up. It is very unclear tome. There we go. Now this
is You're gonna hear a scream though. Oh wait one second, Okay,
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there are many screams. Now,here's her trying to explain another thing going
wrong. I'm gonna show you myrage right now. Okay, before I
said any more songs, I justwant to say, in the very classic
Crimes fashion, I'm having the Thisis very hard to explain because it's a
complex technology. But the thing hasbeen put to a double tempo, so
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I'm doing a lot of internal mathin my mind to make the tracks go
together, and having to it's harderexplain what it is. My fault for
handing in the last track about anhour and half ago, So I take
responsibility for this because yes, yes, yes, that's a responsibility because yes,
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oh my okay, what does thatsound? That sounds like fat bastard's
tummy growley? And then a murderin the crowd, lady, witness of
murder. Here's a couple of differentyells. You'll get here. We finished
that song like eight hours ago.She stopped a major technical difficulty. I'm
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trying to think I'm not good enoughfor math. Here we go, like,
who cares? Just play it?Right? Yeah, stop apologizing?
Owe knows she stops six times,six different times. There's another one.
Will continue, and just don't blameme, not my fault, partly my
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fault. That's all your fault.Fine, right, we're good. Play
it the best one, one ofthe best ones. Okay, someone made
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a scream compilation. That's awesome.Does she sing or does she just play?
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Used to play music DJ now itwas amazing. What a mass that
was so funny saying it's the worstperformance in the history of and perhaps all
music festivals. It was so bad. Was playing it just by the thing
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caravan's on two speed, like itmight drive you crazy, but no one
knows. A bunch of dumb dumbsin the crowd at Coachella. I just
want to shake their ass anyway.He's like, we handled this in an
hour and a half ago. It'snot my fault, but it is my
fault, but partially my fault.It's fine. Do you guess whuch Hot
Ones at all? Ever? Youknow? Like, no, I don't
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know anyone. The next episode,I've never watched it, but I just
so. It's when they get celebritiesto eat different heat levels of wings.
Occasionally it'll pop up on the YouTube. Was it always wings? It's wings,
always wings, and it's good andsometimes you got through it's like I
know someone's gonna be on there,like, okay, I want to catch
this. Well, Conan's been makingthe rounds again. He's got a new
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show coming out on HBO on theeighteenth. I on Thursday, so he
was on Hot Ones for the seasonfinale. I learned. I'll tell you
what. It was weird seeing Twitterbecause I honestly, at first I thought
did Conan die because it seemed likethe outpouring of Conan loves popular was very
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you logistic. Well, when hewent on The Tonight Show last week too,
it was a big deal. Okay, his return to the Tonight Show
or whatever. It's kind of funny. He was walking around the stage.
He's a giant god, he's sotall. But Hollwics is good because the
guy's a good interviewer. Sean Evansis a good interviewer. And so they're
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eating hot so so Conan's gonna handleit, like, here's the first wing.
That but he did mention I'm fromthe Northeast and I'm irish. There
were spices at my house. He'slike, we didn't. The food I
ate growing up didn't have taste toit. He ate boiled potatoes. So
here's the first wing. All right, get nothing here, nothing, absolutely
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nothing, and just what you got, I guess is where you start,
right. I don't fear your wingsman, bring what you got okay,
finishes the wing, puts the wingin the talk out of his jacket,
A nice jacket. Good bit.Okay, now it is so good.
He also brought a fake doctor tohe goes he's not great, but he's
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affordable. He had the doctor comelike check his pulse every one as a
while, wing too. Are youready to move on? Here to sauce
number two on that note please,because that first one I got nothing.
What's this? What kind of sauceis this? So this one is called
smokey J. Here, okay,smoky J. I like it so far.
I am unfazed. Okay, Sotwo down, no problems. Third
one again it's called plump ones goingon. This is nothing. I'll remember.
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You've got nothing. I'll remember thesewords. This isn't even I've yet
to have any spice at all.And you know what, I've got a
little eye watering. I think you'regonna meet your idol. I think I
get that from just about everyone inyour demographic. Right. He's fully taking
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this on as I feel nothing.Okay, Moore, I don't think there's
a wing here that I can't eatlike it's ice cream. I seriously,
I don't think there's a wing onthis table that I cannot devour like it's
cool whipped cream on in August afternoon. Okay, you're like a Rick Flair
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cutting off promo right now, right, that's the energy that I'm yeah.
Okay, four down. Then onthis one, he starts getting the sauce
and dabbing more onto the wing,and he starts rubbing it on his tongue
in his mouth. That's the fifthone. What's gonna happened? What's wrong
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with you people? You don't knowwhat real danger looks like anymore. My
question to you is is there apoint when he's getting warm just talking as
full denial? Does I feel nothing? Feel nothing? He should have like
an eye dropper that he brought withthe red. He's like, like,
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you know what, I've decided totake this one straight to the eyeballs.
He keeps doing that, rubbing iton his face, on his shirt.
Next week, Oh my gosh,okay, so that he dabbed a ton
on it, put it on hishands, starts rubbing him, and he
starts licking his hands. And that'swhen Sean Evans goes, oh my gosh,
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Like it starts to affect Sean Evans, who's used to this stuff.
Oh my gosh, come on,man, are we doing this or not?
Yeah? No, I'm are wedoing it or not? I'm on
the same page it even being aline. If we can't do that right
now, I really do feel alive. I might hiccup through this yout thing.
This one. I'm not gonna lie. I'm feeling it a little bit.
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I'm feeling it with us president.Do you think would be the best
podcast? Guest? I con itover you. You tried to talk,
yeah, but your lips have beenparalyzed. And what I heard was I've
had time. I'm going by soundrat pop, all that off. I
got that out. I think maybeyou're having a problem, nor got Just
take a second and say, thisis starting to hit. Okay, finally,
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finally, the hottest one. Idon't have a lot of regrets in
my career pouring this onto the windright and then licking it off. I'm
starting to feel some sensations. WhateverI do, I have to go on.
Und I know, you gotta getit to the bit, to commission
a bit. This is life,this show, not a bit, it's
your show. Don't take commit tothe bit. This is light right,
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you gotta grab it by the bulls. Good lord. It's so insane.
So at the end they always lethim plug what they have and you did
the thing, you passed the test, whatever, plug your stuff, and
then Coach starts freaking out on him, and Conan looks crazy. Now it's
all over his face, rubbing hisnipples and screaming, you know, and
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we're wearing a nice suit and justplanning to just is there anything funnier than
putting a half eaten wing in yourpodcast? So funny, and the jacket
was so nice. He kept collectingthem in there. He's taking these bones
with me. I'm not what he'shere. Whoa, whoa. These aren't
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the rantings of someone who's had somebad chemicals. I don't. Never did
it to be funny and relevant topeople who are at least fifty years younger
than him. This is a guywho's just being on a show, letting
people know what you're going on inyour life. I have a show.
It's on Max. They used tocall it HBO, but people found that
too popular, so now it's Maxbecause that really rolls off the tongue.
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You can check it out April eighteenth. That's right, My attestants have turned
into acid. April eighteenth. Checkit out. It was beautiful. I
wonder if he just went insane toovercompensate, to take his mind off the
fact that what he was eating wasactually really effing hot. That was absolutely
the plan. I mean, hey, I'm put on a good show for
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everyone, but b what better wayto do it? Just freak out in
the moment I know for thirty minutesthat I'm gonna be on one. Yeah,
because man, he's right those NewEnglanders that don't grow up eating that
type of stuff when it hits them, it's pretty funny. Ooh, this
is like no selling it for thefirst half and then going nuts. That's
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the hottest thing you've ever tried.But he did all right. That show
is so simple, but it's sogenius because when they go from not eating
the wing, they actually like goodinterview questions, like you ask, what's
the worst thing I guests could doin your show? And he's like,
when they look at the camera andtell the audience that it's not going well,
I can see the whole audience becausepeople are here for a show.
And I was like, that's actuallyreally good advice. Like if we had
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an a guest on and they andthey said it's not going well, I
would be mad at them. Likeif the guests said that the interview wasn't
going well, Yeah, I thinkthat's kind of funny. Actually, maybe
his whole point is like everything peopleare working hard for a show, do
it for them, and it's soright. I do agree with that.
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I don't think that would bother meat all. No, it'd be tense,
funnier. No, but they'd bebeing funny if they did it.
But if they meant it, Iwould just give them the option. Well,
you know, you can always justhang up Kenny loft in him absolutely,
which would make it even more kickass. Then you're a legend,
and that that's what we all wantto be anyway, right in this business
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or legends. We're getting there.It's Monday, so we're not off to
a great start. Wait till tomorrow, tomorrow, insane. We usually get
cranked up on Tuesdays. Coming upnext, Danny's gonna tell us about everything.
Why would you get cremated if you'reguaranteed to burn in hell? Anyway?
(20:29):
The latest don't oj and wait,that's not me it's so one good. Here's commercials