June 13, 2025 • 11 mins
We don't like to feel left out! Especially Skeery...
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Today's Daily Highlight from Elvis Duran in the Morning show.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
You know what, this is one of these topics we've
been talking about on the show for at least twenty
twenty five years, and it's friend hoarding for instance. You know,
it comes up in different forms. For instance, let's say
you introduce a good friend of yours to another good
friend of yours and they become friends, and then they
go out and do their own stuff without you, and
you're like, you feel like, well, I should have just
(00:26):
hoarded them. I should have just kept them to myself myself.
By the way, I'm not one of those people. I
really actually thrive on introducing friends to friends and they
have their own friendship going. But there's another reason why
sometimes it's good to friend hoard. Let's say when I'm
with Gandhi, she and I are like really menaces. We
(00:49):
talk about really really off the wall blue things. It
can get nasty, but to another friend exactly. But I
have both the friends I hang out with, which is
always sort of on the straight and narrow. We used
to talk about virtuous, wonderful, positive things. You know. So
I don't know if I want to introduce Gandhi my
you know, evil sister to a friend of mine who's
(01:13):
like an angel. You know, because I can be different
people with each one. You know, a different person with
each one, different side of me. Yes, So therefore I
try to keep them separate. Makes sense?
Speaker 3 (01:25):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Yes, understanding hoarding friends, You actually sent me an article
about this. I did. So.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
A lot of people hoard friends, and for these reasons
that you say. Some people are just kind of jealous
in general, they don't want the friends to become better
friends with each other than you are with them. But
experts are saying that this is causing even more loneliness
because people are already having a tough time just connecting
in general with technology, with how busy we all are.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
So if you have.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
Friends of friends and then your friend is hoarding, you
also find someone that you like and then you don't
get to hang out with them, which makes you extra sad.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
So don't be a friend hoarder, right, It's okay, open
the gates. So some people call it friend poaching. Well,
poaching is a different, a different scenario that means you
know you're friends with them, I'm gonna take you away
from them, and they can can't be with them as
friends anymore. That's what great are we in And people
that people do that, well, you know, okay, then maybe
(02:20):
they should examine themselves a little bit in my opinion,
But I don't know. We there is a case for
the different side of you that shines through when you're
with one person versus another. Right, maybe you don't want
those paths to cross. I get that. It's like, for instance, maybe, uh,
let's say, daniel your husband Sheldon has a friend at
(02:41):
work or he works with who's just you made things
a bad influence, right, he doesn't want you to hang
out with that person, even though even though he knows
how to run his life around that person and do
the right thing, he may not think that you trust
him when he's with them or and then I'm going
to see the real deal and happening. I don't think so. Well, no,
(03:03):
I know, I know, but he's an adult. You trust,
you trust, so it's gonna do You.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
Would be that friend you know when you first met
throwing chairs, throwing chairs off of a chip together.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
We never did that, Danielle. We never did that.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
It was all alleged.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Okay, we weren't.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
Throwing any chairs. That was a yeah, I was a
bad inf we were drinking. I don't know something happened.
If it had happened, it would have been because they're drinking. Yes,
that's what's that. Gandhi.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
There are a couple of people in my life who
I don't want to hoard the friends, but I do know, Okay,
this person and this person together are going to be
a liability when we go out, so I do need
to be careful. I'm not trying to not let them
be friends. I just don't know if I want to
be there when they are together, because that's insane.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
You know it's gonna come. Yeah, then you know it's
good to save some friends from other friends in that fashion.
For instance, with Nate, after a drink, he turns into
you know, doctor Jackyl, yes, or mister Hyde. He turns
into mister Hyde. Actually just yeah, fools around. Yeah, no,
I'm thinking about that. Elvis, like, that's a risk for
(04:10):
you if you take me and introduce me the normal
me to your friends, like, oh, this guy's pretty great
and I have one drink and they're like, what did
you do? Who did you bring? What is this monster
you've introduced into our midst? Then then that makes them
question me as a human.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
Like Nate, Oh God, I have a friend. You guys
have all met her. She is beautiful. When she gets drunk,
she will make out with whomever is standing next to her,
and it turns into chaos. Like she gets us into
the most ridiculous situations all the time, and you can't
stop her. She's like, I'm a grown up, I'm gonna
(04:46):
do what I want. And then she's calling you from
the back of some cab where she's like, I think
I'm being kidnapped.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
It's the worst.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
Her and Nate together, I cannot even imagine.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
God, it's like bringing on. So this article you sent
me about this friend hoarding, there's a book out called
Fighting for Our Friendships, The Science and Art of Conflict
and Connection in Women's Relationships, And this person who wrote
this article says that that book told her then, when
(05:17):
she was a high school teacher years ago, she often
hear students airing anxieties so and so ber friend and
my friend, or I think she's trying to take her
away from me as my friend. And we assume that
was a back then issue, a teenage issue, a high
school issue. It's not as Danielle pointed out earlier. It
(05:39):
goes on right now.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
My mother is in her seventies and it's still going on.
The stories I hear, I go, are you sure that happened?
Speaker 4 (05:46):
She's like, oh yeah, don't you think the hoarding happens though,
because of the potential to poach.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
I never want to get poached, so I hoard and
then but then there's okay, back up, back up, back up.
But what do you mean, why do you have a
problem with friends becoming friends.
Speaker 4 (06:02):
I don't have friends. I have a problem with friends
becoming friends. I'm just afraid of those two friends becoming
closer with each other than I am with the two friends.
And I'm like, you can't do stuff behind my back
and go places.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
So they're not If they become friends through you, that's cool.
They have to invite you always.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
Yes, I need to be included in the mix. You
can't come up, so they're not allowed to hang out
unless you're included. You must be a part of the equation,
at least asked just courtesy. Ask let's ask scary, so
you would be you'd be really upset if you introduced
friend A who you've known since you were in college
(06:44):
to friend b who you met at work and you
just met and you found out they were going out
to dinner and they didn't even tell you about it,
and you never you would have an issue with that?
Why is that? Why would you have an issue? A question?
Because why would why would they friends? That is not
a reason. Why does that bother? Well, okay, you're the
reason they're friends, But why is there a problem with it?
Speaker 4 (07:04):
Because I feel like I'm the response. I'm responsible, and
and I don't want them talking about me behind my
back because now they both know me. So you know,
it's like how introduced Jetski Brian, a friend of mine
to some of my friends. So I don't want them
hanging out with Jetsky Brian behind my back.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
So you don't want jets K Brian hanging out with
outhouse Alan, So so you're afraid they're gonna talk about
you behind your back? That could be what you say
that that's what you said? Well, what other what other
problems are there about new friends versus old with old
friends not including you in a dinner? They I don't
know if they plan trip, they could plan trips, they can,
(07:44):
they can get in business? What do they use money together,
and I'm like.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
What if road kill Roger and Jetski Brian wind not
making money together and he didn't make anything else.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
But I need to be good. Just ask. It's a
courtesy act. Why so you feel like you have somewhat
of a control and ownership over your friends and they
really I'm not it's not funny. It's not funny. I'm
being serious. You feel like you're claiming them as your
territory and people are not allowed into that territory without
(08:15):
you at the bridge, knowing who's coming in and who's leaving. Yeah,
you know what, it is a bit of a possession.
The thing. I don't know why.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
I have to say. There was a moment when I
introduced two people and then I kept saying no to
hang out with the one girl, right, so she went
and asked the other girl to hang out. And she
told me after the fact that I only did it
because I wanted to see if you would finally hang
out with me if I was also hanging out with her,
because you keep saying no to me, So in order
(08:45):
to get you to hang out, I had to like
poach your friend and get her to hang out with me.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
So that you would feel bad and want to hang
out with all of us.
Speaker 3 (08:52):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
So I was like, this is a lot goes into this.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
I'm like, oh oh yeah, Scary sort of acting like
an agent, like, Okay, so I introduced you, so I
get a cut of this deal business deal. I introduce you,
I get some You're going on a trip. I introduced you,
I get to go.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Yeah, exactly, I need a cut. He wants a cut
of your friendship.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
Yeah, a percentage all his friends are signed to him.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Yeah, it is it. It's definitely. I think it's a
controlling thing. It's the need to be in control because
it is very selfish on Scary's part two, because I'm
thinking about this if like pizza parlor Paul and uh
Harry hemorrhoids yeah, and avatuire Alex, right, like what if
they would be like best best friends, like they were
(09:35):
just looking for that person in their life. It's Kay's
keeping them apart. Okay, Okay, you can move this to
another level. Let's say you are dating someone right, really
liked him a lot, and then it goes south. But
a friend that you met through them then becomes your
next your next relationship. Yeah, and then you get married,
(09:58):
then you have kids, and then well isn't that just
kind of a part of life? You know, we connect
with people, it's all. It's about mingling with people. It's
about uh uh, networking, I guess in a way, and
networking through business and through relationships. I guess it all
makes sense in a way. This happened. I introduced a
guy to a girl. They got married.
Speaker 4 (10:19):
Now they're divorced, but they lie together and they blame
it all on you everything, And Alvis, you know them too,
they're they're you know, one of them is a radio
friend of ours.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
But they're living in other cities. But yeah, but honestly,
I'm cool with that. I'm okay. I'm a very sharing person.
But just don't go double cross. Just don't go double
cross me, though. Don't. What you're saying is exactly your
definition of double crossing. You introduced them and now they
got married, and so you feel double cross no a relationship.
(10:51):
I'm cool with that. I'm okay with that. Yeah, go
go for it. I want all my friends to get laid.
I want all my friends.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
No, but I just don't want two guys to be
friends behind your back.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Do that okay, oh wow wow
Today's Daily Highlight from Elvis Duran in the Morning show.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
You know what, this is one of these topics we've
been talking about on the show for at least twenty
twenty five years, and it's friend hoarding for instance. You know,
it comes up in different forms. For instance, let's say
you introduce a good friend of yours to another good
friend of yours and they become friends, and then they
go out and do their own stuff without you, and
you're like, you feel like, well, I should have just
(00:26):
hoarded them. I should have just kept them to myself myself.
By the way, I'm not one of those people. I
really actually thrive on introducing friends to friends and they
have their own friendship going. But there's another reason why
sometimes it's good to friend hoard. Let's say when I'm
with Gandhi, she and I are like really menaces. We
(00:49):
talk about really really off the wall blue things. It
can get nasty, but to another friend exactly. But I
have both the friends I hang out with, which is
always sort of on the straight and narrow. We used
to talk about virtuous, wonderful, positive things. You know. So
I don't know if I want to introduce Gandhi my
you know, evil sister to a friend of mine who's
(01:13):
like an angel. You know, because I can be different
people with each one. You know, a different person with
each one, different side of me. Yes, So therefore I
try to keep them separate. Makes sense?
Speaker 3 (01:25):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Yes, understanding hoarding friends, You actually sent me an article
about this. I did. So.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
A lot of people hoard friends, and for these reasons
that you say. Some people are just kind of jealous
in general, they don't want the friends to become better
friends with each other than you are with them. But
experts are saying that this is causing even more loneliness
because people are already having a tough time just connecting
in general with technology, with how busy we all are.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
So if you have.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
Friends of friends and then your friend is hoarding, you
also find someone that you like and then you don't
get to hang out with them, which makes you extra sad.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
So don't be a friend hoarder, right, It's okay, open
the gates. So some people call it friend poaching. Well,
poaching is a different, a different scenario that means you
know you're friends with them, I'm gonna take you away
from them, and they can can't be with them as
friends anymore. That's what great are we in And people
that people do that, well, you know, okay, then maybe
(02:20):
they should examine themselves a little bit in my opinion,
But I don't know. We there is a case for
the different side of you that shines through when you're
with one person versus another. Right, maybe you don't want
those paths to cross. I get that. It's like, for instance, maybe, uh,
let's say, daniel your husband Sheldon has a friend at
(02:41):
work or he works with who's just you made things
a bad influence, right, he doesn't want you to hang
out with that person, even though even though he knows
how to run his life around that person and do
the right thing, he may not think that you trust
him when he's with them or and then I'm going
to see the real deal and happening. I don't think so. Well, no,
(03:03):
I know, I know, but he's an adult. You trust,
you trust, so it's gonna do You.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
Would be that friend you know when you first met
throwing chairs, throwing chairs off of a chip together.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
We never did that, Danielle. We never did that.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
It was all alleged.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Okay, we weren't.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
Throwing any chairs. That was a yeah, I was a
bad inf we were drinking. I don't know something happened.
If it had happened, it would have been because they're drinking. Yes,
that's what's that. Gandhi.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
There are a couple of people in my life who
I don't want to hoard the friends, but I do know, Okay,
this person and this person together are going to be
a liability when we go out, so I do need
to be careful. I'm not trying to not let them
be friends. I just don't know if I want to
be there when they are together, because that's insane.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
You know it's gonna come. Yeah, then you know it's
good to save some friends from other friends in that fashion.
For instance, with Nate, after a drink, he turns into
you know, doctor Jackyl, yes, or mister Hyde. He turns
into mister Hyde. Actually just yeah, fools around. Yeah, no,
I'm thinking about that. Elvis, like, that's a risk for
(04:10):
you if you take me and introduce me the normal
me to your friends, like, oh, this guy's pretty great
and I have one drink and they're like, what did
you do? Who did you bring? What is this monster
you've introduced into our midst? Then then that makes them
question me as a human.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
Like Nate, Oh God, I have a friend. You guys
have all met her. She is beautiful. When she gets drunk,
she will make out with whomever is standing next to her,
and it turns into chaos. Like she gets us into
the most ridiculous situations all the time, and you can't
stop her. She's like, I'm a grown up, I'm gonna
(04:46):
do what I want. And then she's calling you from
the back of some cab where she's like, I think
I'm being kidnapped.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
It's the worst.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
Her and Nate together, I cannot even imagine.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
God, it's like bringing on. So this article you sent
me about this friend hoarding, there's a book out called
Fighting for Our Friendships, The Science and Art of Conflict
and Connection in Women's Relationships, And this person who wrote
this article says that that book told her then, when
(05:17):
she was a high school teacher years ago, she often
hear students airing anxieties so and so ber friend and
my friend, or I think she's trying to take her
away from me as my friend. And we assume that
was a back then issue, a teenage issue, a high
school issue. It's not as Danielle pointed out earlier. It
(05:39):
goes on right now.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
My mother is in her seventies and it's still going on.
The stories I hear, I go, are you sure that happened?
Speaker 4 (05:46):
She's like, oh yeah, don't you think the hoarding happens though,
because of the potential to poach.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
I never want to get poached, so I hoard and
then but then there's okay, back up, back up, back up.
But what do you mean, why do you have a
problem with friends becoming friends.
Speaker 4 (06:02):
I don't have friends. I have a problem with friends
becoming friends. I'm just afraid of those two friends becoming
closer with each other than I am with the two friends.
And I'm like, you can't do stuff behind my back
and go places.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
So they're not If they become friends through you, that's cool.
They have to invite you always.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
Yes, I need to be included in the mix. You
can't come up, so they're not allowed to hang out
unless you're included. You must be a part of the equation,
at least asked just courtesy. Ask let's ask scary, so
you would be you'd be really upset if you introduced
friend A who you've known since you were in college
(06:44):
to friend b who you met at work and you
just met and you found out they were going out
to dinner and they didn't even tell you about it,
and you never you would have an issue with that?
Why is that? Why would you have an issue? A question?
Because why would why would they friends? That is not
a reason. Why does that bother? Well, okay, you're the
reason they're friends, But why is there a problem with it?
Speaker 4 (07:04):
Because I feel like I'm the response. I'm responsible, and
and I don't want them talking about me behind my
back because now they both know me. So you know,
it's like how introduced Jetski Brian, a friend of mine
to some of my friends. So I don't want them
hanging out with Jetsky Brian behind my back.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
So you don't want jets K Brian hanging out with
outhouse Alan, So so you're afraid they're gonna talk about
you behind your back? That could be what you say
that that's what you said? Well, what other what other
problems are there about new friends versus old with old
friends not including you in a dinner? They I don't
know if they plan trip, they could plan trips, they can,
(07:44):
they can get in business? What do they use money together,
and I'm like.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
What if road kill Roger and Jetski Brian wind not
making money together and he didn't make anything else.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
But I need to be good. Just ask. It's a
courtesy act. Why so you feel like you have somewhat
of a control and ownership over your friends and they
really I'm not it's not funny. It's not funny. I'm
being serious. You feel like you're claiming them as your
territory and people are not allowed into that territory without
(08:15):
you at the bridge, knowing who's coming in and who's leaving. Yeah,
you know what, it is a bit of a possession.
The thing. I don't know why.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
I have to say. There was a moment when I
introduced two people and then I kept saying no to
hang out with the one girl, right, so she went
and asked the other girl to hang out. And she
told me after the fact that I only did it
because I wanted to see if you would finally hang
out with me if I was also hanging out with her,
because you keep saying no to me, So in order
(08:45):
to get you to hang out, I had to like
poach your friend and get her to hang out with me.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
So that you would feel bad and want to hang
out with all of us.
Speaker 3 (08:52):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
So I was like, this is a lot goes into this.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
I'm like, oh oh yeah, Scary sort of acting like
an agent, like, Okay, so I introduced you, so I
get a cut of this deal business deal. I introduce you,
I get some You're going on a trip. I introduced you,
I get to go.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Yeah, exactly, I need a cut. He wants a cut
of your friendship.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
Yeah, a percentage all his friends are signed to him.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Yeah, it is it. It's definitely. I think it's a
controlling thing. It's the need to be in control because
it is very selfish on Scary's part two, because I'm
thinking about this if like pizza parlor Paul and uh
Harry hemorrhoids yeah, and avatuire Alex, right, like what if
they would be like best best friends, like they were
(09:35):
just looking for that person in their life. It's Kay's
keeping them apart. Okay, Okay, you can move this to
another level. Let's say you are dating someone right, really
liked him a lot, and then it goes south. But
a friend that you met through them then becomes your
next your next relationship. Yeah, and then you get married,
(09:58):
then you have kids, and then well isn't that just
kind of a part of life? You know, we connect
with people, it's all. It's about mingling with people. It's
about uh uh, networking, I guess in a way, and
networking through business and through relationships. I guess it all
makes sense in a way. This happened. I introduced a
guy to a girl. They got married.
Speaker 4 (10:19):
Now they're divorced, but they lie together and they blame
it all on you everything, And Alvis, you know them too,
they're they're you know, one of them is a radio
friend of ours.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
But they're living in other cities. But yeah, but honestly,
I'm cool with that. I'm okay. I'm a very sharing person.
But just don't go double cross. Just don't go double
cross me, though. Don't. What you're saying is exactly your
definition of double crossing. You introduced them and now they
got married, and so you feel double cross no a relationship.
(10:51):
I'm cool with that. I'm okay with that. Yeah, go
go for it. I want all my friends to get laid.
I want all my friends.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
No, but I just don't want two guys to be
friends behind your back.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Do that okay, oh wow wow
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