August 11, 2025 • 10 mins
Scotty is driving his daughter down to Florida to go to college and he has a peculiar way of releasing his urine...
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Today's Daily Highlight from Elvis Duran in the morning show.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
So as soon as the show's over, Scotty b hops
into his vehicle and drives Where are you driving? Where
are you taking your daughter to a college? Or she's
there anyway, but where's she going? Uf and Gainesville, Florida
and Gainsville. Okay, so you're driving on Florida. Yeah, you're
gonna stop buying seat froggy on the way back. Yes, okay,
he's gonna stay with me for three days on his
(00:25):
way back.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Whoah, that's so fun.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
So is he gonna bring his pepe apparatus into the
house if he needs probably cleaning out? You know that's
gonna be on the roadside. I'm in a garbage somewhere.
I'm not. Okay, let's talk about this. He actually brought
us a photo of his pea apparatus. So you don't
want to make any stops. Here's the thing, though, if
you're to drive all the way to Gainesville, Florida, you
need you need to make stops and get out and stretch.
(00:49):
So why don't you just use those opportunities to take
a pee. I'm absolutely gonna do that. But now that
I'm fifty. I feel like I have to peel a
little bit more often, and I drink a lot of
coffee when I drive, so I don't want to kill
twenty minutes here, twenty minutes there pulling up because when
I drove up from Jacksonville with Froggy and his son,
I had to go after like an hour, and so
I had a pee in a gatorade. Body bladder is
the size of a thimble. Sometimes sometimes I can go
(01:12):
four or five hours. Sometimes I can only go forty
five minutes. I'm like, I don't know why my body
does that. No, oh, maybe you do. No, I don't.
Does it stain when you pee? Does not? I'm good? Okay, Hey,
so Scotty brought a photo of his peepee apparatus. So
where'd you come up with this idea? Well, I was
in my garage and so I was supposed to do
(01:33):
one of those twenty four hour yurintests. You know, were
you peeing that orange container with their chemicals in it?
And I never did it, and I was supposed to
do it twice. So there were two of them sitting
in my garage. I'm like, wait a second, did you
ever throw anything away seriously, No, I said, that's a
pea container. I'm going to build something. So originally I
had asked my friend at the hardware store to make
me like a funnel thing that goes into a box.
(01:53):
So then that never happened. So what I did was
I cut the bottom off of a mini gatorade bottle
as the funnel, and it fits. It's right in the
top of that thing, so it actually is you know,
it's like a little container with a funnel. And I
can do it while I'm driving if I want to.
But I'll back up. Now, how is the funnel affixed
to the container. It's the perfect size for the hole
(02:16):
that's on the container. So it just goes and just
pops right inn pop out, Yeah, I can pop out. Yeah,
there's a screw top, so.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
I've got it's not gonna go all over them.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
I'll just screw the top on and if it you know,
I don't think i'll use it more than once. That's gross.
I'll do it once and I'll throw it in the
trash and I'll drive on and I have a second
one twice that's it. Well, no, I'll pee multiple times,
but I'll just these are like two interim ones like
in the middle between stops. It's it's got the biohazard
sign on it though, so I'm nervous to throw it away.
But wait, hold on, hold on. Okay, you're driving. Let's
(02:47):
say what's the speed limit. Let's say you're driving seventy
five miles an hour. Yeah, that's what I'm gonna average.
All right, So when it's time to pete you, do
you have a belt on?
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (02:57):
I have a belt. Okay, so you have to unbuckle.
By the way, it's seventy five miles per hour. You
have to cruise control. I guess is that gonna help you? Yah? Yeah, yeah, okay,
that doesn't scare me at all. So you're gonna you're
gonna push the cruise control. You're cruising at seventy five
miles per hour. You're going to unbuckle your belt. You'll
unbutton the button and you unzip your pants and just
(03:17):
unstand you you hold on, now, I'm I'm painting a picture,
and so you're just gonna unzip that's it. Yeah. The
problem is I'm not that no no, no, no's yes
or no quest. You're just gonna unzip and then you're
gonna read in there, and you're gonna pull your wanker
through the the underwear slit. No, I pulled the I
(03:38):
usually pulled the elastic down underneath over the fence, so
you had to under the fence. So you're gonna put
You're gonna pull your underwear down under your chandelier. Yeah,
all right, okay, so this is quite a visual. Look.
I'm guessing I'm only gonna need it while I'm in traffic,
you know, when I can't really, but you're at seventy
five miles per hour. Keep that in mind, you're a
huge piece of steel. Slow down, eyeing by, okay, and
(04:02):
then you take a pee in this thing. I don't see,
I don't see it happening. Does anyone else want to?
Speaker 1 (04:07):
You have a lot of questions?
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Yes, gandhi go. You're gonna have a great question. You
can't tell.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
So you're then going to screw the top back on
while it's full of pea, and you're going to move
it over to the passenger seat or wherever it was right. Yes,
Now you said that this bottle is just a fixed
to it. It fits perfectly.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Is there any chance of it flying off if you
hit like a speed bump, or if you swerve and
just pe goes everywhere, if.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
You hit like a dead deer. Oh, I don't want
to do that. That's damn go ahead, I.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Just I you're sure that it can't. You didn't tape it.
There's no way, there's nothing keeping it on. Besides, no, it.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
Fits right in there, perfect It fits it like clicks in.
It's perfect size. Okay. Okay. By the way people are asking,
the daughter is not in the car, No, no going
going alone. She's flying down right, Yes, that's correct. Her
dad's gonna drive down with his pee apparatus. Okay, yeah, Danielle,
what's your what's your question? Is intriguing? There's no tape whatsoever?
(04:58):
Is because I'm worried about the tape getting more and
then that's it. No, it doesn't. It doesn't need to
be taped. I'm telling you. It fits right in perfectly.
Why do you just wear a diaper? Well, see Gandhi
suggested that, But I don't want to drive around sitting
and piss ye in it when you're done. Yeah, no,
that's warm girl. No? No, okay, yeah, more questions, yes, Nate.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
Okay, I found a fatal flaw when Scotty sent me
a picture of the whiz rig. Uh huh oh, it
is potentially very dangerous. Did you notice the edges of
that gatorade bottle? Yeah, you gotta file those down. Yeah,
you're gonna castrate yourself on ninety five.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
I did not. It was just like put put something on,
like tape around the type or something. I have Girlla tape.
I'll do some of that, Okay. I mean you shouldn't
be driving down the highway and telling your gatorade bottle
not to use its teeth. Wash the teeth.
Speaker 4 (05:48):
If this thing is really small, then he probably doesn't
have to worry about the edges.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
It won't even reach it. Look, I was gonna say,
I'm not that blessed, but so there's gonna probably be
a little bit of a dribble. I'm not gonna get
someone on my hands. Experiment, it's an experiment.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
There's going to be p all over that car by
the first are correct?
Speaker 2 (06:04):
First speaking of it? Wasn't that a race car driver's name? Trickle? Yes, okay, okay,
I'll get back to the question. I just love that
you're prepared. Something tells me you're not going to use
it once I don't have that feeling. I think I
will if I'm sitting in traffic and I really have
(06:26):
to pee, I will use it. Although I'm not an exhibitionist,
so I don't want people to watch me. But if
I have to do it, I have to do it. It
is what it is. I have another one. Well hold on, wait, wait,
what does he do with the urine When he's done
with throw it out? I put the cap on and
I'll throw it the next stop. That biohazard. I don't
think you're allowed to throw p into a trash bit
(06:47):
people throw in bottles on the side of the road.
I mean, at least I'm putting it in a proper container.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
Oh whatever, Now that I see the picture of the rig,
I have more questions.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
What.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
Yeah, go ahead, So when you say you screw off
the top off the top of what you take the
funnel off and then put it.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
Yeah. See that's the thing. I feel like there's gonna
be a little bit of residual in the gatorade bottle.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
There is.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
There's gonna be everywhere. Scot this is the worst play.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
You're gonna be all over the place.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
Do you see this thing?
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Yes? I did, look a look at that. He's he said,
us all a photo of it. It looks now. Hey,
what about our friends and nurse the comedian, Nurse Matteo, No,
Nurse John, Yeah, there's John. No, No, it's not John. Oh.
Nurse Ben oh, god, Nurse Blake. Yes, yes, didn't he
(07:37):
bring one of those? It was like a condom catheter.
It's an ex call you slip it over your unit.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
Yes, isn't that the stadium pal or something like that.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
It's called that was a female catheter if he had
a you know, magine that.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
I think it would work. Do something they do have.
They do have a wearable urinal for men.
Speaker 3 (07:58):
It's latex material all and it comes with the bag
and trap it on.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Yeah, that seems better.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Amazon. You gotta pay for that one, Scott.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
You're gonna have bleeding and pee everywhere.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Yes, that thing's gonna eat you up. A first aid kit.
Speaker 4 (08:12):
God, the juice is not worth a squeeze for me.
I would just find I will. This really is for
it's for an emergency. Never ever say that ever again, Scary.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
The jews is not worth the squeeze. It's more it's
more for an emergency than anything else. I probably will
use it maybe once when I have to.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
There's not wear it on the gatoride top, so you're
it's just gonna sit there.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
No, I brought the lid with me. I brought the cap.
I got an idea.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
Boy just takes a balloon and remember like filling water
balloons as a kid.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
He just fills it up and ties it off. It
throws out the window in another car and just hope
it doesn't burst. Yeah, okay, Scott, there's nothing good about
any of these ideas, Gandhi none. Anybody want to come
with Come on, I gotta see No, oh god, oh
my god. People are texting in the funniest stuff. He said.
(09:06):
This person has just used a thirty two ounce gatory bottle.
Then dump them outside before you throw the bottles away.
This apparatus's rookie status. No worry, this is advanced.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
No, it's not.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
No, it's not very crude. Well, you know what, truck drivers?
You should turn to truck drivers. You know, Nate, your
dad's a truck driver. Doesn't he have any advice? Did this?
Speaker 3 (09:25):
They all over and go to a rest stop like
any normal human being.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
I will at some point, I'm just gonna need it
in between. Oh god, all right, well keep us informed.
I will. I don't know, I will, all right. So
that's happening with Scotty. Scotty's driving down taking all of
his daughter's things down to a Gainesville, Florida and check
it out. You can start her college career. My waffle
house coupon for my birthday. You're so excited, so excited.
(09:53):
Your birthday was a several days Agoah, but it's go
to the twenty fifth. Don't tell him. I printed all
four of them. Oh wow, I'm gonna tell them.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
He printed the coupon in color.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Okay, So this is this is if you have to pee?
What if you have to you know, do number two.
Then I go to BUCkies because they got great bathrooms.
I'm waiting till South Carolina to do that. I know,
I'm waiting till South Carolina. Yes, South Carolina. You're gonna
wait till. I don't know I even thought of that.
Your gp ass is gonna go go all right on
(10:24):
South Carolina or somewhere. I don't know where you go.
We'll I'll let you know. I'll keep you all right,
all right, plan on my story if you want. I
think We've squeezed all the juice out of this, all right.
Look at you, Megan, all the way down to Florida,
Today's Daily Highlight from Elvis Duran in the morning show.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
So as soon as the show's over, Scotty b hops
into his vehicle and drives Where are you driving? Where
are you taking your daughter to a college? Or she's
there anyway, but where's she going? Uf and Gainesville, Florida
and Gainsville. Okay, so you're driving on Florida. Yeah, you're
gonna stop buying seat froggy on the way back. Yes, okay,
he's gonna stay with me for three days on his
(00:25):
way back.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Whoah, that's so fun.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
So is he gonna bring his pepe apparatus into the
house if he needs probably cleaning out? You know that's
gonna be on the roadside. I'm in a garbage somewhere.
I'm not. Okay, let's talk about this. He actually brought
us a photo of his pea apparatus. So you don't
want to make any stops. Here's the thing, though, if
you're to drive all the way to Gainesville, Florida, you
need you need to make stops and get out and stretch.
(00:49):
So why don't you just use those opportunities to take
a pee. I'm absolutely gonna do that. But now that
I'm fifty. I feel like I have to peel a
little bit more often, and I drink a lot of
coffee when I drive, so I don't want to kill
twenty minutes here, twenty minutes there pulling up because when
I drove up from Jacksonville with Froggy and his son,
I had to go after like an hour, and so
I had a pee in a gatorade. Body bladder is
the size of a thimble. Sometimes sometimes I can go
(01:12):
four or five hours. Sometimes I can only go forty
five minutes. I'm like, I don't know why my body
does that. No, oh, maybe you do. No, I don't.
Does it stain when you pee? Does not? I'm good? Okay, Hey,
so Scotty brought a photo of his peepee apparatus. So
where'd you come up with this idea? Well, I was
in my garage and so I was supposed to do
(01:33):
one of those twenty four hour yurintests. You know, were
you peeing that orange container with their chemicals in it?
And I never did it, and I was supposed to
do it twice. So there were two of them sitting
in my garage. I'm like, wait a second, did you
ever throw anything away seriously, No, I said, that's a
pea container. I'm going to build something. So originally I
had asked my friend at the hardware store to make
me like a funnel thing that goes into a box.
(01:53):
So then that never happened. So what I did was
I cut the bottom off of a mini gatorade bottle
as the funnel, and it fits. It's right in the
top of that thing, so it actually is you know,
it's like a little container with a funnel. And I
can do it while I'm driving if I want to.
But I'll back up. Now, how is the funnel affixed
to the container. It's the perfect size for the hole
(02:16):
that's on the container. So it just goes and just
pops right inn pop out, Yeah, I can pop out. Yeah,
there's a screw top, so.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
I've got it's not gonna go all over them.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
I'll just screw the top on and if it you know,
I don't think i'll use it more than once. That's gross.
I'll do it once and I'll throw it in the
trash and I'll drive on and I have a second
one twice that's it. Well, no, I'll pee multiple times,
but I'll just these are like two interim ones like
in the middle between stops. It's it's got the biohazard
sign on it though, so I'm nervous to throw it away.
But wait, hold on, hold on. Okay, you're driving. Let's
(02:47):
say what's the speed limit. Let's say you're driving seventy
five miles an hour. Yeah, that's what I'm gonna average.
All right, So when it's time to pete you, do
you have a belt on?
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (02:57):
I have a belt. Okay, so you have to unbuckle.
By the way, it's seventy five miles per hour. You
have to cruise control. I guess is that gonna help you? Yah? Yeah, yeah, okay,
that doesn't scare me at all. So you're gonna you're
gonna push the cruise control. You're cruising at seventy five
miles per hour. You're going to unbuckle your belt. You'll
unbutton the button and you unzip your pants and just
(03:17):
unstand you you hold on, now, I'm I'm painting a picture,
and so you're just gonna unzip that's it. Yeah. The
problem is I'm not that no no, no, no's yes
or no quest. You're just gonna unzip and then you're
gonna read in there, and you're gonna pull your wanker
through the the underwear slit. No, I pulled the I
(03:38):
usually pulled the elastic down underneath over the fence, so
you had to under the fence. So you're gonna put
You're gonna pull your underwear down under your chandelier. Yeah,
all right, okay, so this is quite a visual. Look.
I'm guessing I'm only gonna need it while I'm in traffic,
you know, when I can't really, but you're at seventy
five miles per hour. Keep that in mind, you're a
huge piece of steel. Slow down, eyeing by, okay, and
(04:02):
then you take a pee in this thing. I don't see,
I don't see it happening. Does anyone else want to?
Speaker 1 (04:07):
You have a lot of questions?
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Yes, gandhi go. You're gonna have a great question. You
can't tell.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
So you're then going to screw the top back on
while it's full of pea, and you're going to move
it over to the passenger seat or wherever it was right. Yes,
Now you said that this bottle is just a fixed
to it. It fits perfectly.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Is there any chance of it flying off if you
hit like a speed bump, or if you swerve and
just pe goes everywhere, if.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
You hit like a dead deer. Oh, I don't want
to do that. That's damn go ahead, I.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Just I you're sure that it can't. You didn't tape it.
There's no way, there's nothing keeping it on. Besides, no, it.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
Fits right in there, perfect It fits it like clicks in.
It's perfect size. Okay. Okay. By the way people are asking,
the daughter is not in the car, No, no going
going alone. She's flying down right, Yes, that's correct. Her
dad's gonna drive down with his pee apparatus. Okay, yeah, Danielle,
what's your what's your question? Is intriguing? There's no tape whatsoever?
(04:58):
Is because I'm worried about the tape getting more and
then that's it. No, it doesn't. It doesn't need to
be taped. I'm telling you. It fits right in perfectly.
Why do you just wear a diaper? Well, see Gandhi
suggested that, But I don't want to drive around sitting
and piss ye in it when you're done. Yeah, no,
that's warm girl. No? No, okay, yeah, more questions, yes, Nate.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
Okay, I found a fatal flaw when Scotty sent me
a picture of the whiz rig. Uh huh oh, it
is potentially very dangerous. Did you notice the edges of
that gatorade bottle? Yeah, you gotta file those down. Yeah,
you're gonna castrate yourself on ninety five.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
I did not. It was just like put put something on,
like tape around the type or something. I have Girlla tape.
I'll do some of that, Okay. I mean you shouldn't
be driving down the highway and telling your gatorade bottle
not to use its teeth. Wash the teeth.
Speaker 4 (05:48):
If this thing is really small, then he probably doesn't
have to worry about the edges.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
It won't even reach it. Look, I was gonna say,
I'm not that blessed, but so there's gonna probably be
a little bit of a dribble. I'm not gonna get
someone on my hands. Experiment, it's an experiment.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
There's going to be p all over that car by
the first are correct?
Speaker 2 (06:04):
First speaking of it? Wasn't that a race car driver's name? Trickle? Yes, okay, okay,
I'll get back to the question. I just love that
you're prepared. Something tells me you're not going to use
it once I don't have that feeling. I think I
will if I'm sitting in traffic and I really have
(06:26):
to pee, I will use it. Although I'm not an exhibitionist,
so I don't want people to watch me. But if
I have to do it, I have to do it. It
is what it is. I have another one. Well hold on, wait, wait,
what does he do with the urine When he's done
with throw it out? I put the cap on and
I'll throw it the next stop. That biohazard. I don't
think you're allowed to throw p into a trash bit
(06:47):
people throw in bottles on the side of the road.
I mean, at least I'm putting it in a proper container.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
Oh whatever, Now that I see the picture of the rig,
I have more questions.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
What.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
Yeah, go ahead, So when you say you screw off
the top off the top of what you take the
funnel off and then put it.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
Yeah. See that's the thing. I feel like there's gonna
be a little bit of residual in the gatorade bottle.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
There is.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
There's gonna be everywhere. Scot this is the worst play.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
You're gonna be all over the place.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
Do you see this thing?
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Yes? I did, look a look at that. He's he said,
us all a photo of it. It looks now. Hey,
what about our friends and nurse the comedian, Nurse Matteo, No,
Nurse John, Yeah, there's John. No, No, it's not John. Oh.
Nurse Ben oh, god, Nurse Blake. Yes, yes, didn't he
(07:37):
bring one of those? It was like a condom catheter.
It's an ex call you slip it over your unit.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
Yes, isn't that the stadium pal or something like that.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
It's called that was a female catheter if he had
a you know, magine that.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
I think it would work. Do something they do have.
They do have a wearable urinal for men.
Speaker 3 (07:58):
It's latex material all and it comes with the bag
and trap it on.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Yeah, that seems better.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Amazon. You gotta pay for that one, Scott.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
You're gonna have bleeding and pee everywhere.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Yes, that thing's gonna eat you up. A first aid kit.
Speaker 4 (08:12):
God, the juice is not worth a squeeze for me.
I would just find I will. This really is for
it's for an emergency. Never ever say that ever again, Scary.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
The jews is not worth the squeeze. It's more it's
more for an emergency than anything else. I probably will
use it maybe once when I have to.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
There's not wear it on the gatoride top, so you're
it's just gonna sit there.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
No, I brought the lid with me. I brought the cap.
I got an idea.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
Boy just takes a balloon and remember like filling water
balloons as a kid.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
He just fills it up and ties it off. It
throws out the window in another car and just hope
it doesn't burst. Yeah, okay, Scott, there's nothing good about
any of these ideas, Gandhi none. Anybody want to come
with Come on, I gotta see No, oh god, oh
my god. People are texting in the funniest stuff. He said.
(09:06):
This person has just used a thirty two ounce gatory bottle.
Then dump them outside before you throw the bottles away.
This apparatus's rookie status. No worry, this is advanced.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
No, it's not.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
No, it's not very crude. Well, you know what, truck drivers?
You should turn to truck drivers. You know, Nate, your
dad's a truck driver. Doesn't he have any advice? Did this?
Speaker 3 (09:25):
They all over and go to a rest stop like
any normal human being.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
I will at some point, I'm just gonna need it
in between. Oh god, all right, well keep us informed.
I will. I don't know, I will, all right. So
that's happening with Scotty. Scotty's driving down taking all of
his daughter's things down to a Gainesville, Florida and check
it out. You can start her college career. My waffle
house coupon for my birthday. You're so excited, so excited.
(09:53):
Your birthday was a several days Agoah, but it's go
to the twenty fifth. Don't tell him. I printed all
four of them. Oh wow, I'm gonna tell them.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
He printed the coupon in color.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Okay, So this is this is if you have to pee?
What if you have to you know, do number two.
Then I go to BUCkies because they got great bathrooms.
I'm waiting till South Carolina to do that. I know,
I'm waiting till South Carolina. Yes, South Carolina. You're gonna
wait till. I don't know I even thought of that.
Your gp ass is gonna go go all right on
(10:24):
South Carolina or somewhere. I don't know where you go.
We'll I'll let you know. I'll keep you all right,
all right, plan on my story if you want. I
think We've squeezed all the juice out of this, all right.
Look at you, Megan, all the way down to Florida,
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