May 20, 2024 • 15 mins
The New York Times published an article titled, "The Ages When You Feel Most Lonely and How to Reconnect", that shows loneliness is at epidemic levels. How do we combat it?
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Today's Daily Highlight from Elvis Duran in the Morning Show.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
All right, so there's an article.
Speaker 3 (00:06):
In the New York Post over the weekend called the
Loneliness Curve. It's interesting. It starts out by saying new
research suggests people tend to be lonelier not only late
in life, as we all assume, but also early in life.
Meaning for the first time ever in their research, they're
seeing that isolation is a part of growing up. It's
(00:26):
a part of being a kid now starting your life,
not really plugged into anything like community organizations or clubs
or religious groups, going to church, whatever. You're just kind
of off on your own and you're, you know, with
your phone. And then they say later in life, of course,
after your sixties, you start to experience loneliness as well,
especially after you turn eighty. That's when you're really really
(00:48):
lonely exactly. So we never really thought about that. We've
always dealt with loneliness mostly with people who are older,
are older family members, this and that we don't really
stop and remember that this loneliness factor with young adults
is running rampant. I mean, it's a huge deal. This
(01:10):
article was talking about the curve where you start out
life kind of lonely. Then you become less lonely in
middle aged because you interact with more people. You may
be parenting, you have to deal with your kids, friends
and teachers, or you know, you're in the workforce, so
you're dealing with people at work. But younger in life
you don't have that thing in that kind of life,
and older in life you don't have that kind of life.
(01:31):
Studies are suggesting that most people benefit from having a
minimum of four to six close relationships. How many do
you have? Have you thought about it? Wow, I think
I'm about four? Maybe, yeah, four to six. But it's
not only quantity that matters, it's also variety and quality.
They say different relationships can fulfill different kinds of needs.
So ask yourself, are you able to rely on and
(01:54):
support the people in your life? And are your relationships
mostly positive rather than negative?
Speaker 2 (02:00):
There you go join a group.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
Are any of us members of any groups outside this
group that we work with every day?
Speaker 4 (02:07):
Like an official group?
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Yeah, like a like a club.
Speaker 5 (02:11):
No, exactly, on the kickball team and it was awesome,
but I'm not anymore.
Speaker 4 (02:14):
I should probably get on another one.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Well, that's a group I don't have. It's funny how
you asked that question, Daniel. You're like, like an organization,
like a club, you know what, Maybe twenty thirty years ago,
it wasn't unusual for people of all ages to be
a member of something bigger than them, like a group
or going to church or a club where you read
(02:39):
books or so. I don't know, you know, And I
was thinking about this Rob waiting this article. I'm like, no,
I really don't have anything. Then I started thinking, maybe
I am lonely, more lonely than I thought.
Speaker 5 (02:50):
I could totally see how that age range, too, is
so lonely because you've been in school the entire time
up until then, right around then, and you're forced to
socialize people, and you don't realize how different the world
is outside of that when you're not in a classroom
with twenty other people. Plus for me, that was right
when I got my job in radio, and then my
schedule was completely opposite of all of my friends. So
(03:12):
even if I wanted to go out and play, I
couldn't because they weren't available.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
So it was like, huh, well, this is weird. I
totally get that.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
I definitely have not bounced back since pandemic pandemic days.
Of course. You know, we all experienced loneliness on different
levels depending on our situation.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
When we were locked down.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
You know, I was locked down in a farmhouse by
myself for sometimes, you know, over a week or maybe
two weeks at a time. It was the only interaction
with people I had was this in a zoom room
every morning, and then at ten am I turned it
off and I was just it was just crickets, right.
So I don't know if anyone else out there is
like me, where you haven't really readjusted to more of
(03:54):
a social life.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
You're lonely.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
People of all ages are lonely. But they're saying that
the these two groups early in life and late in
life are the most affected.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
That's why my husband wants to start a company that
just provides people to keep you company, to put a
smile on your face, someone just to come to your
house to sit down and chat with you if you
don't have anybody to chat with, like.
Speaker 4 (04:15):
A Reuner front, yeah, kind of like a.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
Rener frond, but like yeah, and he has so many
people that said they would love to work for him
to do it, you know, and just go and sit
with someone who doesn't have someone to just vent to
or keep them company, or maybe take them to the
grocery store, you know, stuff like that.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
Well, like you, on both sides, even if you have
that company, you're also satisfying your need. If you're visiting
people who are lonely, you're now you're not lonely because
you're with a lonely people.
Speaker 6 (04:42):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
And also you know, I was very very intrigued, gandhi.
I know everyone in a while, you and uh Andrew
and others go to a church in food for people,
you're participating in an organization. I mean, that is exactly
where we need to be going doing.
Speaker 5 (04:59):
Oh my gosh, And let me tell you, not only
is it great because you're doing something for the community
and you're making all this food for people who need it,
but we have such a good time when we're there,
like playing with each other, not in a creepy way,
but like actually having fun and joking around.
Speaker 4 (05:13):
It's fulfilling for the soul. I love it. I would
do it more often if we could.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
If you're wondering why we're making such a big deal
about loneliness, and this comes out all the time, these
studies always suggest that people benefit from close relationships. But
loneliness is it's very dangerous. It's very unhealthy. I mean,
it's anxiety. It raises your anxiety levels, it can make
it can also increase your chances of dementia when you're
(05:41):
just kind of stuck in your own little bubble and
not interacting with people. When you interact with people, you're
working your brain, you're working your thoughts, you're working you
know everything in your head, and when you're alone, you
don't unless you have that voice that keeps talking to you,
like I do from time to time. But you have
a call, you want to go to a call or
something here, So what are your thoughts here in Nate
being lone? Are you lonely these days?
Speaker 2 (06:02):
I think a lot of us are. And it's you know,
it's hard because everybody I know spends hours on their phone,
and I can only imagine being fifteen sixteen now where
this is such a huge part of your life and
you're not making those connections that you need as a
(06:22):
human right, You're relying on your phone. And I think
it's going to be.
Speaker 7 (06:27):
The death of us.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
To be really honest, I do agree.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
I agree, and look here, we are living in a
city of millions, yet it is one of the most
loneliest places in the world. Walking up and down these streets,
there are so many people. I have someone here texting
you now, like, what about us who are totally and
always surrounded by other people, But we feel very lonely
every day. Well, you're not surrounded by other people. You
need to be surrounded by right. I've always been intrigued
(06:51):
and I used to live on what fourth Street? Which
street has the basketball court in the village. I live
there at the corner where people would just show up
at this basketball court the courts and just start playing
ball with strangers. They just knew where to go to
be picked up in a game and interact with strangers.
(07:13):
The importance of play for adults is such a vital,
vital part of being. I mean, we need to play, right,
You were talking about this earlier, right, Goda, you read
an article about playing. Why we need to be playing more?
Speaker 5 (07:26):
Oh yeah, not only for your mental health, because it
stimulates your brain, like you said, it staves off dementia,
it gives you this connection to other people.
Speaker 4 (07:35):
But for your physical health. They say that the.
Speaker 5 (07:38):
Act of just playing as an adult, whether it's basketball, kickball,
something goofy that you're doing with your friends like summer
camp activities. Going outside and playing is so important to
your physical health as well, because not only are you
getting exercise and you're getting activity, so it helps your
blood pressure, your heart rate, but it brings down your
stress level, which we know how bad stress is for
your body in so many ways. Saying is such an
(08:00):
important aspect of life in general that we really focus
on for kids. We don't focus on it for adults
because you're told you're grown up, stop playing around.
Speaker 4 (08:09):
You're supposed to play.
Speaker 5 (08:10):
You're always supposed to play and keep playing and it's
really good for you. So if you can go play
with your friends, it's important.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
So when I went on the slide at the carnival yesterday,
that big there you go one slide on that you know?
What is that? That the burlap sack rightath you?
Speaker 4 (08:25):
I was like, I'm a kid again. It was awesome.
Speaker 5 (08:29):
Isn't that? So?
Speaker 6 (08:30):
Fun?
Speaker 8 (08:31):
Is fun?
Speaker 3 (08:32):
Especially if you're sharing those moments with with people you.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
Love, you know, family and friends.
Speaker 7 (08:36):
What's up? Scary?
Speaker 8 (08:38):
But it takes two people to play, right, So I'm
I don't want to say no.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
But.
Speaker 8 (08:48):
People don't. Thing that sucks is people don't want to
talk to you. So it's like it takes two to tangle, right,
It takes So if I'm let's say, I'm alone, all right,
and I'm walking down the street, people are looking at
the friggin floor. People are like looking away. So you
have to actually in order to have this conversation, in
my opinion, about you know, you know, decreasing your loneliness.
(09:10):
It starts from a ones inward being that you have
to make the initiative. But you also need to be
receptive to someone who may start a conversation with you.
Because if I'm the person that's gonna be like, Okay,
I'm alone and I want to play. So I and
I start talking to people the straight, They're gonna look
at me like I have three heads, like who the
hell are you?
Speaker 3 (09:30):
You know it scary, You're painting a picture as if
everyone is like that. That's not true. Not everyone is
going to like run from you and shirk in horror.
Speaker 4 (09:39):
And those people aren't anyway, right.
Speaker 8 (09:42):
My experience is that if you approach I approach anyone
I've ever approached, even just in a casual conversation could
be in an elevator, they're like, the hell is this
person talking to me? For like, it's it's always the
first instinct is for the person to shut down. So
they're the problem is larger than I think that you know.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
Well, no, but scary wanting to like play basketball with
strangers on an elevator. I would say, maybe you know,
going to a park where people are playing. Maybe you
know what I'm saying. I see what you're saying, because
we all tend to want to shut people down when
they want to invade our space, right, That's what it is.
Speaker 6 (10:22):
Like.
Speaker 3 (10:22):
For instance, we're talking earlier about Gandhi flying from New
York to LA. She's like, please don't talk to me,
person in the seat next to me, and the guy
started talking to her and then ended up turning into
an interesting conversation.
Speaker 7 (10:32):
Yeah, I like talking to strangers. I know that's probably
what we were taught the complete opposite as a child. However,
I do. I enjoy like talking to somebody new and
learning something new, or learning something about a new place
or something that I don't that I don't know about.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
And I love this text, they say, and this is
so true. This is why pit cole ball is so
popular these days. You can always find a pick a
ball game. It's like because pickle ball, you know, they
don't play it too seriously, Come, hey, let's go play
some pickle ball. Hey, I think Melissa is she's still
on Lane nine team. Yeah, hey, Melissa, welcome to the show.
Where do you want to fit in in this conversation?
Speaker 2 (11:06):
It's kind of interesting.
Speaker 6 (11:08):
Good morning? First of all, good morning, or I can't
even tell you how many years, but I texted in
saying about how I haven't adjusted back to like normal
life since the lockdown because once that happened, my job
sent a soul home to work, and now I work
from home five days a week. So and then all
(11:32):
my friends are well married, having kids, so they really
don't have time and it's hard to make friends as
an adult.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
So you're living, you're living. You're living a life of isolation,
is what you're saying. Yes, yeah, well what can you
do about that self and your mental health and maybe
your physical health to get out there and play?
Speaker 6 (11:58):
Yeah, well I started to you guys actually got me
motivated enough to like take control back over my life,
to try and like try new things, and so far
I've gotten. I've lost all of my COVID weight that
I gained because what else were we doing besides eating?
(12:21):
But I'm slowly getting there. It takes time to adjust
back into that normal life of socializing with people.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
Well, you got to be careful. It's a slippery slope.
And I say this from personal experience. The longer you
stay isolated, the more your friends will fall away. They
will slowly get into their own things that It's not
that they don't like you, it's just they're not in
a rhythm of friendship with you. Friendship is a rhythm.
(12:51):
You know, a lot of people in our lives, we
can go, you know, years and years and we see
them and as if we never were apart. Right, That's
not always the case. With the people we see. We
need to say every day or at least once a week.
If you're not in a rhythm with them, they'll just
assume that you've got other things going on and they
won't call you again. You do, as scary as talking about,
you do have to make the effort. You have to
(13:11):
from within find the energy and the strength to get
out there and mingle and do things that are uncomfortable.
Sometimes right, CONDI.
Speaker 5 (13:20):
Yeah, absolutely, And this could be one of the things,
like Elvis was talking about, where you find a group
that has your common interest share like a shared common interest,
because let's say you're into gardening. At the very least,
you know you already have something to start talking to
people about, and who knows what kind of friendships can
form from there.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
In your neighborhood, do they have any like groups or
anything that you could like just at least try to,
like maybe check out.
Speaker 6 (13:44):
I've actually been slowly researching because I got back into reading,
so I wanted to try and join like a book
club and get back together. I at least have that
to look forward to. I'm not really a sports kind
of person, but I have been looking into like different
little things. It's just I'm an introvert, so it's very
(14:05):
hard for me to like make that first.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
But I'm the same, I believe, or not as loud
mouthed as I am. I'm an introvert as well, and
there are many introverts listening and maybe even in this room. Hey,
you know what, there's another thing to consider, Melissa. There's
a whole world out there of people who need help,
they need support, They need support. I mean we're talking
earlier about Gandhi and her friends. Every once in a
(14:32):
while they'll show up at a church in Jersey City
and they'll make dinners for people who need food, and
you know there's a need there, and joining other people
who recognize their importance in this world to help other people.
Being a part of that circle is good for you too,
So just consider it. Just consider things as easy as
(14:53):
that walking in that first time into a room, a
kitchen rather full of strangers and like, okay, hi, I'm
here to help. I'm toasting bread. What's my goal in
this session? You know that first time you walk in
through that door is going to be the hardest. But
once you're in there, you'll start meeting people. But you're
also taking care of other people that really need your help.
So best of luck with that.
Speaker 6 (15:14):
Absolutely, it's like your first day on a new job.
That's the hardest part is walking through that door.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
Exactly. All the best you willis say and believe me,
you have touched a nerve with many people, including myself,
who are sort of in that same boat. And thank
you for listening to us. So what have we learned here?
We're lonely and we're not playing enough. Shame on us.
Speaker 4 (15:34):
But there are ways to fix it, and that's a
good thing.
Speaker 7 (15:36):
Yeah, there are ways to fix its, like Gandhi playing
around all the time.
Speaker 4 (15:41):
Yeah, play around all the time.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
Yeah, get out and play
Today's Daily Highlight from Elvis Duran in the Morning Show.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
All right, so there's an article.
Speaker 3 (00:06):
In the New York Post over the weekend called the
Loneliness Curve. It's interesting. It starts out by saying new
research suggests people tend to be lonelier not only late
in life, as we all assume, but also early in life.
Meaning for the first time ever in their research, they're
seeing that isolation is a part of growing up. It's
(00:26):
a part of being a kid now starting your life,
not really plugged into anything like community organizations or clubs
or religious groups, going to church, whatever. You're just kind
of off on your own and you're, you know, with
your phone. And then they say later in life, of course,
after your sixties, you start to experience loneliness as well,
especially after you turn eighty. That's when you're really really
(00:48):
lonely exactly. So we never really thought about that. We've
always dealt with loneliness mostly with people who are older,
are older family members, this and that we don't really
stop and remember that this loneliness factor with young adults
is running rampant. I mean, it's a huge deal. This
(01:10):
article was talking about the curve where you start out
life kind of lonely. Then you become less lonely in
middle aged because you interact with more people. You may
be parenting, you have to deal with your kids, friends
and teachers, or you know, you're in the workforce, so
you're dealing with people at work. But younger in life
you don't have that thing in that kind of life,
and older in life you don't have that kind of life.
(01:31):
Studies are suggesting that most people benefit from having a
minimum of four to six close relationships. How many do
you have? Have you thought about it? Wow, I think
I'm about four? Maybe, yeah, four to six. But it's
not only quantity that matters, it's also variety and quality.
They say different relationships can fulfill different kinds of needs.
So ask yourself, are you able to rely on and
(01:54):
support the people in your life? And are your relationships
mostly positive rather than negative?
Speaker 2 (02:00):
There you go join a group.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
Are any of us members of any groups outside this
group that we work with every day?
Speaker 4 (02:07):
Like an official group?
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Yeah, like a like a club.
Speaker 5 (02:11):
No, exactly, on the kickball team and it was awesome,
but I'm not anymore.
Speaker 4 (02:14):
I should probably get on another one.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Well, that's a group I don't have. It's funny how
you asked that question, Daniel. You're like, like an organization,
like a club, you know what, Maybe twenty thirty years ago,
it wasn't unusual for people of all ages to be
a member of something bigger than them, like a group
or going to church or a club where you read
(02:39):
books or so. I don't know, you know, And I
was thinking about this Rob waiting this article. I'm like, no,
I really don't have anything. Then I started thinking, maybe
I am lonely, more lonely than I thought.
Speaker 5 (02:50):
I could totally see how that age range, too, is
so lonely because you've been in school the entire time
up until then, right around then, and you're forced to
socialize people, and you don't realize how different the world
is outside of that when you're not in a classroom
with twenty other people. Plus for me, that was right
when I got my job in radio, and then my
schedule was completely opposite of all of my friends. So
(03:12):
even if I wanted to go out and play, I
couldn't because they weren't available.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
So it was like, huh, well, this is weird. I
totally get that.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
I definitely have not bounced back since pandemic pandemic days.
Of course. You know, we all experienced loneliness on different
levels depending on our situation.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
When we were locked down.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
You know, I was locked down in a farmhouse by
myself for sometimes, you know, over a week or maybe
two weeks at a time. It was the only interaction
with people I had was this in a zoom room
every morning, and then at ten am I turned it
off and I was just it was just crickets, right.
So I don't know if anyone else out there is
like me, where you haven't really readjusted to more of
(03:54):
a social life.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
You're lonely.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
People of all ages are lonely. But they're saying that
the these two groups early in life and late in
life are the most affected.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
That's why my husband wants to start a company that
just provides people to keep you company, to put a
smile on your face, someone just to come to your
house to sit down and chat with you if you
don't have anybody to chat with, like.
Speaker 4 (04:15):
A Reuner front, yeah, kind of like a.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
Rener frond, but like yeah, and he has so many
people that said they would love to work for him
to do it, you know, and just go and sit
with someone who doesn't have someone to just vent to
or keep them company, or maybe take them to the
grocery store, you know, stuff like that.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
Well, like you, on both sides, even if you have
that company, you're also satisfying your need. If you're visiting
people who are lonely, you're now you're not lonely because
you're with a lonely people.
Speaker 6 (04:42):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
And also you know, I was very very intrigued, gandhi.
I know everyone in a while, you and uh Andrew
and others go to a church in food for people,
you're participating in an organization. I mean, that is exactly
where we need to be going doing.
Speaker 5 (04:59):
Oh my gosh, And let me tell you, not only
is it great because you're doing something for the community
and you're making all this food for people who need it,
but we have such a good time when we're there,
like playing with each other, not in a creepy way,
but like actually having fun and joking around.
Speaker 4 (05:13):
It's fulfilling for the soul. I love it. I would
do it more often if we could.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
If you're wondering why we're making such a big deal
about loneliness, and this comes out all the time, these
studies always suggest that people benefit from close relationships. But
loneliness is it's very dangerous. It's very unhealthy. I mean,
it's anxiety. It raises your anxiety levels, it can make
it can also increase your chances of dementia when you're
(05:41):
just kind of stuck in your own little bubble and
not interacting with people. When you interact with people, you're
working your brain, you're working your thoughts, you're working you
know everything in your head, and when you're alone, you
don't unless you have that voice that keeps talking to you,
like I do from time to time. But you have
a call, you want to go to a call or
something here, So what are your thoughts here in Nate
being lone? Are you lonely these days?
Speaker 2 (06:02):
I think a lot of us are. And it's you know,
it's hard because everybody I know spends hours on their phone,
and I can only imagine being fifteen sixteen now where
this is such a huge part of your life and
you're not making those connections that you need as a
(06:22):
human right, You're relying on your phone. And I think
it's going to be.
Speaker 7 (06:27):
The death of us.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
To be really honest, I do agree.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
I agree, and look here, we are living in a
city of millions, yet it is one of the most
loneliest places in the world. Walking up and down these streets,
there are so many people. I have someone here texting
you now, like, what about us who are totally and
always surrounded by other people, But we feel very lonely
every day. Well, you're not surrounded by other people. You
need to be surrounded by right. I've always been intrigued
(06:51):
and I used to live on what fourth Street? Which
street has the basketball court in the village. I live
there at the corner where people would just show up
at this basketball court the courts and just start playing
ball with strangers. They just knew where to go to
be picked up in a game and interact with strangers.
(07:13):
The importance of play for adults is such a vital,
vital part of being. I mean, we need to play, right,
You were talking about this earlier, right, Goda, you read
an article about playing. Why we need to be playing more?
Speaker 5 (07:26):
Oh yeah, not only for your mental health, because it
stimulates your brain, like you said, it staves off dementia,
it gives you this connection to other people.
Speaker 4 (07:35):
But for your physical health. They say that the.
Speaker 5 (07:38):
Act of just playing as an adult, whether it's basketball, kickball,
something goofy that you're doing with your friends like summer
camp activities. Going outside and playing is so important to
your physical health as well, because not only are you
getting exercise and you're getting activity, so it helps your
blood pressure, your heart rate, but it brings down your
stress level, which we know how bad stress is for
your body in so many ways. Saying is such an
(08:00):
important aspect of life in general that we really focus
on for kids. We don't focus on it for adults
because you're told you're grown up, stop playing around.
Speaker 4 (08:09):
You're supposed to play.
Speaker 5 (08:10):
You're always supposed to play and keep playing and it's
really good for you. So if you can go play
with your friends, it's important.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
So when I went on the slide at the carnival yesterday,
that big there you go one slide on that you know?
What is that? That the burlap sack rightath you?
Speaker 4 (08:25):
I was like, I'm a kid again. It was awesome.
Speaker 5 (08:29):
Isn't that? So?
Speaker 6 (08:30):
Fun?
Speaker 8 (08:31):
Is fun?
Speaker 3 (08:32):
Especially if you're sharing those moments with with people you.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
Love, you know, family and friends.
Speaker 7 (08:36):
What's up? Scary?
Speaker 8 (08:38):
But it takes two people to play, right, So I'm
I don't want to say no.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
But.
Speaker 8 (08:48):
People don't. Thing that sucks is people don't want to
talk to you. So it's like it takes two to tangle, right,
It takes So if I'm let's say, I'm alone, all right,
and I'm walking down the street, people are looking at
the friggin floor. People are like looking away. So you
have to actually in order to have this conversation, in
my opinion, about you know, you know, decreasing your loneliness.
(09:10):
It starts from a ones inward being that you have
to make the initiative. But you also need to be
receptive to someone who may start a conversation with you.
Because if I'm the person that's gonna be like, Okay,
I'm alone and I want to play. So I and
I start talking to people the straight, They're gonna look
at me like I have three heads, like who the
hell are you?
Speaker 3 (09:30):
You know it scary, You're painting a picture as if
everyone is like that. That's not true. Not everyone is
going to like run from you and shirk in horror.
Speaker 4 (09:39):
And those people aren't anyway, right.
Speaker 8 (09:42):
My experience is that if you approach I approach anyone
I've ever approached, even just in a casual conversation could
be in an elevator, they're like, the hell is this
person talking to me? For like, it's it's always the
first instinct is for the person to shut down. So
they're the problem is larger than I think that you know.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
Well, no, but scary wanting to like play basketball with
strangers on an elevator. I would say, maybe you know,
going to a park where people are playing. Maybe you
know what I'm saying. I see what you're saying, because
we all tend to want to shut people down when
they want to invade our space, right, That's what it is.
Speaker 6 (10:22):
Like.
Speaker 3 (10:22):
For instance, we're talking earlier about Gandhi flying from New
York to LA. She's like, please don't talk to me,
person in the seat next to me, and the guy
started talking to her and then ended up turning into
an interesting conversation.
Speaker 7 (10:32):
Yeah, I like talking to strangers. I know that's probably
what we were taught the complete opposite as a child. However,
I do. I enjoy like talking to somebody new and
learning something new, or learning something about a new place
or something that I don't that I don't know about.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
And I love this text, they say, and this is
so true. This is why pit cole ball is so
popular these days. You can always find a pick a
ball game. It's like because pickle ball, you know, they
don't play it too seriously, Come, hey, let's go play
some pickle ball. Hey, I think Melissa is she's still
on Lane nine team. Yeah, hey, Melissa, welcome to the show.
Where do you want to fit in in this conversation?
Speaker 2 (11:06):
It's kind of interesting.
Speaker 6 (11:08):
Good morning? First of all, good morning, or I can't
even tell you how many years, but I texted in
saying about how I haven't adjusted back to like normal
life since the lockdown because once that happened, my job
sent a soul home to work, and now I work
from home five days a week. So and then all
(11:32):
my friends are well married, having kids, so they really
don't have time and it's hard to make friends as
an adult.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
So you're living, you're living. You're living a life of isolation,
is what you're saying. Yes, yeah, well what can you
do about that self and your mental health and maybe
your physical health to get out there and play?
Speaker 6 (11:58):
Yeah, well I started to you guys actually got me
motivated enough to like take control back over my life,
to try and like try new things, and so far
I've gotten. I've lost all of my COVID weight that
I gained because what else were we doing besides eating?
(12:21):
But I'm slowly getting there. It takes time to adjust
back into that normal life of socializing with people.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
Well, you got to be careful. It's a slippery slope.
And I say this from personal experience. The longer you
stay isolated, the more your friends will fall away. They
will slowly get into their own things that It's not
that they don't like you, it's just they're not in
a rhythm of friendship with you. Friendship is a rhythm.
(12:51):
You know, a lot of people in our lives, we
can go, you know, years and years and we see
them and as if we never were apart. Right, That's
not always the case. With the people we see. We
need to say every day or at least once a week.
If you're not in a rhythm with them, they'll just
assume that you've got other things going on and they
won't call you again. You do, as scary as talking about,
you do have to make the effort. You have to
(13:11):
from within find the energy and the strength to get
out there and mingle and do things that are uncomfortable.
Sometimes right, CONDI.
Speaker 5 (13:20):
Yeah, absolutely, And this could be one of the things,
like Elvis was talking about, where you find a group
that has your common interest share like a shared common interest,
because let's say you're into gardening. At the very least,
you know you already have something to start talking to
people about, and who knows what kind of friendships can
form from there.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
In your neighborhood, do they have any like groups or
anything that you could like just at least try to,
like maybe check out.
Speaker 6 (13:44):
I've actually been slowly researching because I got back into reading,
so I wanted to try and join like a book
club and get back together. I at least have that
to look forward to. I'm not really a sports kind
of person, but I have been looking into like different
little things. It's just I'm an introvert, so it's very
(14:05):
hard for me to like make that first.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
But I'm the same, I believe, or not as loud
mouthed as I am. I'm an introvert as well, and
there are many introverts listening and maybe even in this room. Hey,
you know what, there's another thing to consider, Melissa. There's
a whole world out there of people who need help,
they need support, They need support. I mean we're talking
earlier about Gandhi and her friends. Every once in a
(14:32):
while they'll show up at a church in Jersey City
and they'll make dinners for people who need food, and
you know there's a need there, and joining other people
who recognize their importance in this world to help other people.
Being a part of that circle is good for you too,
So just consider it. Just consider things as easy as
(14:53):
that walking in that first time into a room, a
kitchen rather full of strangers and like, okay, hi, I'm
here to help. I'm toasting bread. What's my goal in
this session? You know that first time you walk in
through that door is going to be the hardest. But
once you're in there, you'll start meeting people. But you're
also taking care of other people that really need your help.
So best of luck with that.
Speaker 6 (15:14):
Absolutely, it's like your first day on a new job.
That's the hardest part is walking through that door.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
Exactly. All the best you willis say and believe me,
you have touched a nerve with many people, including myself,
who are sort of in that same boat. And thank
you for listening to us. So what have we learned here?
We're lonely and we're not playing enough. Shame on us.
Speaker 4 (15:34):
But there are ways to fix it, and that's a
good thing.
Speaker 7 (15:36):
Yeah, there are ways to fix its, like Gandhi playing
around all the time.
Speaker 4 (15:41):
Yeah, play around all the time.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
Yeah, get out and play
Popular Podcasts
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.