Welcome to Flava Breakfast’s Off the Record – an exclusive short, sweet and a little bit juicy chat you won’t hear anywhere else. In today’s episode Stace and Azura realise how unfair being a wife can be and decide to make a change.
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Episode Transcript
It's the Flavor podcast Network.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
You're listening to Stacissura and Charlie's Off the Record puts
your record.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Welcome to off the Record with stations and Charlie, will
we bring the things here because they don't go on? Yeah? Hey, Ryn,
So you know.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
We're not always you know, super traditional people and us
or us I think, and you know, like you're married,
Charlie in the elements of tradition and culture in all
of our lives. But is there you know, one thing
about getting married that I didn't expect is for one
thing people might say answer piece of paper or whatever.
One of the things is how other people regard you,
(00:42):
Like calling someone your husband or your wife just gives it,
just validates it in other people's views.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Do you know what I mean, Chellie?
Speaker 2 (00:49):
I do.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
Yeah. Like if you see so if you say, oh,
my boyfriend's set, people go oh yeah. But if you say,
if you say my wife said, you're like, oh, okay,
do you need to go home or something? It just
upgrades everything. But then the other thing I didn't know
that came with the territory is that why do I
have to remember not only all the all the family
birthdays for our own family, but also for my family
and also for my husband's family.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Like why is that because female work? I think you
just naturally did it right in the beginning and it's
just became too late now.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
No no, no, literally every that's the thing, isn't it?
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Challenge?
Speaker 2 (01:22):
So I think Saney is similar. You know, she knows,
but it gets to a point where I forget my
mom's birthday. No no, no, no, serious, like because I
get the dates mixed up. I know that it's in September,
but I don't know whether it's September the fourteenth or
the sixteenth. Bro. But I'm telling you this, Saney knows
my mom's birthday, I know it's my dad's birthday.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
And gets all the presents and she.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
She organizes everything. So talking about traditions, I think she
is and going back to what Zora was saying as well,
I feel that that has a part to play as well,
like that she's that person that no one's given this role,
like to organize all the gifts, saying and know everyone's birthdays.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
But for some reason, I'll tell you why. Because most women,
I'm not going to say every single one of them,
they give more shits than men do. And that's where
it came from, is right at the beginning, they care
like women naturally literally biologically care more and are more
empathetic than men. So something like a birthday, something like
a birthday, you're like, who gives a shit about a birthday?
(02:26):
It's you know, that's not what you're saying. I'm not
saying men don't care or care about those things. I'm
just saying, you know, we do tend to be more.
We're nurturers. We're literally nurturrous. You're like, you're meant to
be going out there and getting that bread and butter,
help and survive, you know, whereas we're we're raising. Yeah, yeah, so.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
I have to say you're not trad wife.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
But then but no, oh, I have to say. One
of my friends Emily, and this is well, this is
what she did with her husband now husband. She made
a really good point at us girls that one day
she realized, why am I taking on that role? I
don't even want to do it, but I'm doing all
these things that woman and she realized I actually hate that.
(03:07):
She's always been a really independent woman. I mean, she
was always going to keep her last name when she
got married, was I'm sure she was gonna have kids.
That was just how she operated, by the way, those
things have changed anyways, But she what she would do.
This is as simple as say, doing a task that
she realized that her husband would do the vacuuming or
empty the dish washer and come and tell her.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
Yeah, nah.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
She don't go, you know, thanks for doing that, or
should notice that he's done his own wash and go, oh,
thanks for doing No, what do you mean thank you?
What do you mean?
Speaker 3 (03:37):
What do you mean that which is a computer contributing
human in this house?
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Yeah? Yeah, yeah, exactly, that's a that's an US thing anyway, vacuuming.
So why should she go, well, well done, you did
what I do most of the time. Done, So you
stop rewarding the bare minimum then you do that's and
that's the same with remembering her birthday. To be honest,
she does the same thing he starts to. If she realizes, oh,
(04:02):
his mom or his grandma's birthdays coming up, she will
say na da nada, and he will miss those birthdays
and those occasions. Guess what he did the next year,
not freaking forget. And it's about like why you naturally
women take on that mental load most do. Sorry sorry
to say, but that, in my opinion, that's that is
what happens. They take on it mental load. So what
(04:23):
do guys do. They switch out. They don't need to
be taken on that that they're like, sweet, that's covered
in our in our world. I don't need to do that. So, yeah,
thirty twenty years on, you can't tune around and to
speak Scotty, to just start remembering birthday, remember that.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
But yeah, and he's really good at getting the kids
ones presents and stuff like that. It's like, are you
gonna go or I'm gonna go whatever, That's all good,
but it's just random ones that I'd feel bad about it.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
You're right, because I don't feel.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Bad if we forget our sister in law's birthday, which
we nearly did.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
You know that kind of purpose though, and your defense,
Charlie and Scottish the fact it's on purpose, like subconsciously
his brain is told him this is not important for
you to remember because someone else has sorted it. Like
it's not a conscious decision he's making to forget birthdays.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
And then and you know, when you look at the
bird's i view of that, you have to respect what
is on their mind instead, Like, if you're thinking about
something that's actually important, I go, Okay, it's okay because
Charlie's got these things to think about.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
That's good.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
But if I go, you know, Charlie is literally sitting
there go. How do you say humanitarian? You can just
look at birthdays you're very much.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Yeah, yeah, it's all about trainings. Nice.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Nice, you're quite passionate about this, considering you're not married.
Well done.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
It's just I have to imagine. It's just how it
is these days. Like you you wait till you hear
the gen Z starting to talk about how their relationships
are going to go. Oh, it's going to be different.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
On my sixteen year old with her be a minimum,
that is, be a minimum. My own speak on it says,
you go.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Go, thanks for listening to stay a. Zorah and Charlie's
off the record.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Catch them live every weekday from six am on yuh
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