November 26, 2024 • 45 mins
In this episode, Jazz and Gen answer your questions. Like how to deal with online bullies? How do you to tell your parents about self harm? And how to stop missing the sick you. And Jazz reveals to us what potato product she would be.
Hope Is Real is a Podcast to help you feel a little less alone, a bit more inspired, and lot more hopeful. Join Jazz Thornton every week as she speaks to empowering and inspiring people from around the world and shares their stories to normalise the way we talk about mental health in society.
Insta and TikTok: @hopeisrealpodcast
Personal Insta @JazzThornton
Personal TikTok: @JazzThornton_
ZM Podcast Network: @ZMOnline
If you need help, in New Zealand you can contact 1737 by text or call at anytime, or if you are listening internationally you can find someone to contact here: https://findahelpline.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
The ZM podcast Network. Hi guys, welcome back to what
is the last episode of season three, Hopes Were All
the podcast. I can't believe I'm saying that we've done
another season already. I can't even believe that I got
to do three seasons. But thank you so much for
coming on this journey with me. If there's any of
the episodes that you've missed it all, please go back
(00:21):
and listen. The season has been filled with some of
the most incredible people, some phenomenal stories. We've talked about
such a wide range of different things, and I really
think even if you personally aren't going through what is
talked about in the episode right now, it's so educational
and raw and kind of throughout the whole season, the
(00:41):
stories have just been amazing, and I just want to
thank you all for your support so far on this
podcast and on the season. It's been so it's been
so overwhelming. I can't believe that I get to do
this and there I get trusted with people's stories and
to be able to share them and share just a
little bit more hope in the world where everything is
going all there's so much happening at the moment and
(01:02):
for people to be willing to speak and to share
and to have these conversations and listen to these conversations
means everything. And as always, if anything in this triggers you,
please at any time you can stop, take a break,
come back to it, or talk to someone if you
need to. You're not alone. The bravest thing that you
can do right now is to talk to someone, is
(01:22):
to ask for help, whether that's from a friend, a
family member, or if you don't know who to talk to,
then if you live in Altieroa here you can call
or text one seven three seven at any time to
talk to a train counselor or if you live overseas,
go to dub dub dub dot the Voices of Hope
dot org for a list of international helplines. Remember that
(01:42):
no matter what it is that you're facing, no matter
what it is that you're going through, that in all things,
hope is real and change as possible. I wanted to
end the season by doing something that I've done the
last two season, which is a ask me anything, bringing
(02:02):
in my wonderful friend. All of you will know her
by now, the one, the only, the very tall Genevieve Mohra,
thank you, Hello, thank you for having me the giraffe.
The draft. You are literally a draft. I'm literally like
I just and people always say when they meet us
in person, yep, they're like, they always think I'm taller
than I am. They're like, you're very short, but you
are very tall.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Well, you're so tall?
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Yeah, you can't tell right now, obviously as we're sitting down,
you are. You're a bab tall and I'm very stroked.
I have you on here. I put up a question
box that there was thousands of questions that came through.
So we're not going to get to everyone's questions today,
but we're going to do as many as we possibly can.
There's one there I'm gonna say immediately caught my eye
that we must start with, and then we can have
(02:44):
a little of banter before we get really into the
other ones. If you were a potato products, Brown's Hot Chips,
et cetera, what would you be?
Speaker 2 (02:52):
And why there is such a story behind potatoes and
jazz and I oh, oh, I'm gonna go with.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
The French fry.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Why they're tall that long, crunchy on the outside, soft
on the inside, If it loves a French fry not Yeah,
but are you like a.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Like a like a real skinny French fry or.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Like a thick I'm a burger fuel French fry. Yeah, okay,
so that's not a French fry. Oh that's it.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
I wouldn't call that a French fry because it's thick,
hot chip, hot ship. That's what we call it in
New Zealand.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
It is.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
It's a hot hot ship and then the thin ones
a free Yeah, you're probably right, Yeah, a hot chip.
I wanted. Yeah, I want to know the definition for
Do Americans call it hot chips? No? No, what do
they call it? Fries? All of them? It's very valiquisiou.
They're not all fries. They're not what would you be.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
Mesh because that uh.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
Oh you know, no, I don't know. I mean I
can't say fries because you've said fries. I feel like,
obviously fries go with everything. What I do really love
is like a stuffed potato. Yeah, I think I'll be
a stuffed potato one because I'm just full of it.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
I'm full of stuff.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
There's a lot, there's a lot going on. Yeah, you know,
so I think I think I'll be a stuffed potato.
I just love stuff with lots of fillings, lots of fillings.
I do love stuff. Actually, now I'm hungry. Yeah, I
mean I was hungry beforehand, but now I really just
want potato. Before I get into a lot of other questions,
how are you? How you doing?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
I'm good, I'm good. Is that time of the year
it's all go? But no, I'm happy and healthy. And
I need to say this because I can't stop staring
at it. You've met your phone case?
Speaker 1 (04:39):
Oh my gosh, I do. It's the first thing that
caught my eye. Case to five bounce cases. I'm a
sucker for the sticky grips.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Yeah, I need one, to give you one.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
I need to I need to give you more sticky
grips lessons. If you didn't know, there's another one that
I just saw here. If you were an animal, what
would you be? And why? Well obvious I I've told
the story so many times. Were in Kenya? This girl
spotted a giraffe from literally like miles miles away and
sprinted over at by the giraffe.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
We got scent, and we got someone adopted. How does
that work? Adopted a draffe? Remember you got a sloth
and I got draft.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Yeah, I got a sloth man. This loss really for
those of you who weren't here in the early days
of when kind of we were first starting, and even
on social media. For me, I one time said that
I like sloths, and then suddenly I just got so
much sloth stuff sent to me.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
And a few adopted sloths. I mean, I still do
like sloths.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
I don't think that. I mean, I'm I'm you're be
a dog. I like being at dog parks or like
beaches is my favorite place in the entire world. Like
I told the story, coming around the corner right, Oh
(05:57):
my gosh, Okay, So where I used to live, we
live right next to this dog park and we would
go all the time, and I am the person was
very obsisted with talks, and I talked to dogs, all
of the dogs. And as we were walking into the park,
I saw this dog and I had a little jacket on,
and so I, without kind of plocking anything, go immediately
(06:18):
and just go oh, that's a nice jacket to the
dog in the exact tone, right, not realizing but first
of all that there is a man who was also
walking towards me and this dog in the jacket has
gone behind a bush so you can no longer see.
And this man is in like a like a rain
jacket thing, and he just looks at me and is like.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Y.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
And I made eyes with him like when I'm saying
the word jacket, and so I'm like, that's a nice jacket.
And I think this man is like to this day,
I'm traumatized by it.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Yeah, it's funny that dogs. I like, I'll walk down
the beach and someone will come to pet my dog
and I'll be like franky, say hi, Like she's gonna
be like, yeah, oh hey mate, I'm.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
The same thing. I'm like, say, hey they leap talk.
Oh no, but they I'm going to say hard on
them all, every single one of them. I would one
hundred percent be adult. Do you think dogs and dogs
dogs and would be friends. I think so. I think
that'd be a little buddy. I mean we're friends. We're friends. Yeah,
I'm like a tiny dog and you're a very tool. Okay.
(07:19):
Like I said, we've got thousands of questions at having SMAD,
so we're not going to spend too much time just
bantering around. There is a whole lot that are covering
a bunch of different topics, but one of them that
I think is going to be quite prevalent. As a
school You're here and alter it comes to an end.
As someone has asked on tips for people leaving school,
Oh do you have any?
Speaker 2 (07:41):
I think the one thing that comes to mind is
to focus on your own journey. I think when I
left school, a lot of my friends were going to
university and I was at a very different place in
my life having gone through my you know, my challenges
as a teenager or a university just wasn't on the
cards for me, and it wasn't something I was actually
that interested in doing at that point, and I spent
time sort of comparing myself, being like should I be
(08:02):
doing this?
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Should you know?
Speaker 2 (08:03):
Is there a certain way to live life? And I
think reminding yourself, especially if you've gone through trauma and
gone through challenges as a teenager, that your life will
look different and that's okay. Yeah, And to not compare
yourself to other people. I think also be really proud
of yourself. Finishing school is a big deal.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
I didn't finish school neither. Yeah. So first of all,
if you're finishing school and you're like graduating graduate freaking nations. Yeah,
because that's more than than I did. And I also
think that, you know, coming off the back of everything
that you've just said as well, is that you don't
have to have it all forget out. There's so much
pressure on teenagers, like pretty early on, you've got to
(08:41):
know what you need to what you want to do
for the rest of your life because you need to
not subjects you have to take, and then if you
don't take these subjects you can't get into university for this.
Then there's so much pressure and it's so unnecessary because
your brain is still developing. You don't know what you
want to do. Some of you will well and you're
gonna already you know, be on the path, but that's
not the case for everyone. Give yourself some race. Yeah,
(09:01):
be proud of yourself that you've done it and it's
all good, you know. I don't compare yourself to your
friends and what everyone else is doing, because I mean,
my few years after high school was spent in hospital
and so it's gonna look different for everyone. But yeah,
just don't don't try rush yourself or yeah, compare it's
probably he's still so young.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
I look back at like I thought I was so old,
and I was like, your friend, you were a child.
I really thought I thought I was so old.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
This question I want to see in a moment talking
about this. Someone has asked how to stop missing the
sick you? And this is something I think that is
not discussed enough. When you battle so deeply with mental
illness and the darkness, it can almost become a part
(09:49):
of who you believe that you are, and it becomes
your every day, it becomes your normalody. And when you
start to heal from that, there is a whole process
of grief this life that you kind of once knew.
And I know that for me personally, I lived so
much in the chaos, in the crisis of so much happening,
(10:10):
the darkness, and when I didn't have that or when
I was feeling okay, I didn't know how to deal
with it, like I didn't know. And I think that
for someone who grew up the way that I did
and the kind of beliefs that I had, and feeling
unlovable and like a burden and that kind of thing.
Even you know the fact that when you're really unwell,
(10:33):
sometimes people will come in and they'll help you and
there's that kind of feeling to it as well, that
it makes sense to miss the sick you because for
so long that was part of your identity. That's all
that you knew, and everything that you did was basically
expecting and expecting that this is how things will always be.
You didn't know that there would be anything different, and
(10:56):
so I think, you know, for me, it was such
a process of having to actively choose every day to
stay in recovery and writing down lists of why, like
being in recovery is so much better than being unwell,
and like what are the things that I'm living for
and what are the things that I now get to do,
Like the fact I can go and walk down to
a cafe. Couldn't do that when I was in the
(11:17):
psyche board. Like, you know, that kind of thing was
really big for me. But yeah, I just I don't
think it's it's something that is really talked about hugely
in this space.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
What about you, Oh, I completely agree with everything you've said.
I think I kind of want to focus on what
you said around and sort of the support people, and
I think it's so important to be there for people,
you know, not just when they're at their worst. But
when they're best, you know they're at their best, because
I think, like you said, when you're struggling, there can
be these people, or if you're lucky enough, you have
people that rally around you, and you can almost miss
that aspect of having people there for you. And you
(11:48):
don't need to be sick to have people there and
love and care and support you. But I think a
big thing that I've discussed a lot recently and I'm
still trying to work through is the grief for the
years that I lost to my illness. I think it
affects me now than ever when I look back and
I'm like, I'm thirty now, like I missed a good
chunk of my teen years and I will never ever
ever get back, and I'm mad about that, and I'm
sad about that. But I saw something recently and I
(12:11):
think I shared it all my socials around You know,
you were surviving in the only way you knew how,
and I think that's really important to remember.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
You can choose this. It's not your fault.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
It is understandable, and in many ways, if you missed
that sick version of you, because like you said, it's
all you.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Knew in that moment. I also think I really want
to take a moment to validate people that specifically young
people that have been admitted into hospital with the mental
illness into psychiatric wards. There's this common thing that happens
and at the time it can be really confusing and
you can get really angry about it where people want
(12:44):
to stay in hospital, and that happens because, like you
just said, that's where you feel you're heard. People understand
that you're struggling. People are there that help. When you've
got the nurses that are there that are there in
your darkest moments and they're kind of helping you get
through that. When you get out of that and suddenly
it's you having to do this again, you can miss
(13:04):
that that kind of full wrap around support of it.
And you know, we both have been in psych wards ourselves,
but also have been you know, we talk and hang
out sometimes in the adolescent warden. You sometimes see those
patterns of when things are getting bad again and you
don't quite know how to ask for help, but you
know that if you escalate, then I can end up
(13:26):
back here and then people will know there are things
that you can do. It doesn't have to be that way.
And while you think that's the only place that you
can get that love and support and feel heard and
feel seen, it's not. And you know, been able to
ask for help earlier before it gets to that point.
And oh, it's just it breaks my heart knowing how
(13:47):
much of a pattern that that can become, and knowing
that was a pattern for me as well, that it's yeah, I.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Know, I hear you, and I think I felt I
completely relate to that. I felt at that time safe
in the hospital. I felt really really safe and supported,
and every time I was discharged, you know, part of
my mind was like, how do I end up back
here because this is where I feel, you know, like
I get the support I need and I guess something
(14:16):
that helped me. And again, you know, it wasn't always
sort of easy listening to this, but I had to
remind myself constantly that I couldn't live in hospital for
either that at some point I was going to have
to face that uncomfortable and work hard at home and
break those patterns.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
I remember, we have talked a lot and you're kind
of explaining it a lot to me as well, that
specifically when it comes to eating disorders, that there becomes
this mindset or there's almost goal to get into hospital
because then people know that you're sick enough, or like
you have to you know, lose a certain amount of
weight or whatever it maybe you have to be sick enough.
I'm not sick enough unless I'm there. Can you explain, like,
(14:54):
talk to people who are struggling with eating disorders that
are feeling like that, I'm not sick enough, I have
to be sicker. What was you saying?
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Yeah, absolutely, I mean eing disorders are incredibly complex, and
I think it's important to acknowledge that not everyone with
an eating disorder. Actually a smaller proportion of people with
an ending disorder are going to be medically diagnosed is underweight.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
It's a very small proportion.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
I think media and those sort of things portray an
eing disorder in accurately that it's a very malnourished, unwell
human being.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
And you said is a case for some people.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
But I think you know, there's as common belief as
you said that, I've experienced myself, and I hear from
lots of people I interact with around I'm not sick enough.
And I think my message to people that feel that
is that if you are struggling with your mind, your body,
your self worth. You know, if you were struggling, you
are sick enough. And I think something I had to
learn is that nothing was ever going to be enough
(15:45):
for my eating disorder. My eating disorder was not going
to be happy until it was dead. The goalposts were
going to keep on shifting, and so reminding yourself that
you were worthy and deserving of help, that it's not
a competition, that eating disorders aren't about. Look, it's a
physical sorry, it's a mental illness is really really important
to remember.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
Yep, it's I mean we see it now as well
all the time, especially with social media and especially on
tektok as well. There's just it can become such a
competitive thing. And I'm so thankful we talk about this
all the time, how thankful we are that social media
didn't really exist and when we are unwow, because it's
so hard to navigate it with that as well, and
(16:23):
I think that can also add to that feeling of
not being sick enough. And yeah, to just validate whether
it's you know, with with any disorders or anything else
that you're struggling with when you feel like you need
to get help you, it's okay, it's acceptable to get help.
At that point, you don't have to wait for stuff
to hit the fane.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
And the deeper you go, the more you have to
crawl out, you know.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Dang girl, dang yeah, yeah, no, it's true, that's very true.
This question here is another one that I get asked
quite a bit. How to tell your parents about self harm?
This is something that is so incredibly difficult for a
lot of young people to do and to understand as well.
(17:07):
I think that you know, I've done a few different
episodes that have touched on self harm and how misunderstood
it is and how people just think that it's attention seeking,
but really you're just trying to cope with this pain
that is inside. And the reality is is that, especially
when it comes to the older generation, they might not
understand that. But your parents love you, they want the
(17:29):
best for you, and I think that being able to
if you feel like you can't physically tell them, write
it down. I'm a big advocate for writing it in
a letter, say how you're feeling, and being able to
articulate it as much as you can, because if you
go straight into a conversation you can get jumbled, there
can be a lot more emotions, and obviously the emotions
are still going to calm, the conversations are still going
(17:50):
to be had, and it's more important that someone knows
what is going on than you being so afraid of
the response. And you know, if your parent doesn't understand,
there's also resources that you can point them to online.
But this isn't something that you have to battle with alone,
(18:11):
and it's not something that is going to have to
stay with you for the rest of your life. But
you do need help to get out of that. So yeah,
to someone, speak to someone. Yeah, absolutely, I think it's
it's just it's so important. Oh, Jen loves this one
favorite quote. Loves a quote. Oh, I love a quote.
Love a quote. I love a quote. I think you
all know, Ma, I'm kidding you don't.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
Something I always say and was one of my biggest
recovery motivators was the journey of a thousand miles begins
with a single step. Something that I continue to remind
myself or remind people, is that you're now doesn't have
to be you forever. You know, things can change. Like
Jazz says, change is possible.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
Hope is real, and change as possible. Oh my gosh,
there's so many questions, guys. There's oh, this is interesting.
How do you cope with getting the title of survivor?
Recently got the title myself? Is what this person has said?
Speaker 2 (19:07):
This is?
Speaker 1 (19:08):
This is actually I wow, this is a really interesting
question because I think, first of all, the shift from
victim to survivor is huge as well, because that is
also saying that this is not just like, this is
something that happened to you, that you were a victim of,
but now you were on the process of you like,
(19:29):
you freaking survived it. Whatever it was that happened to you,
you survived it, You got through it, and that is
a testament to your strength. And none of that, though, ever,
justifies what happened. I think that anyone who is a
survivor of any form of trauma, we always hear that
whole thing of like, your trauma makes you stronger, you're
(19:50):
a survivor, you're so much. We didn't ask to be traumatized,
We didn't need to be stronger, like, we didn't ask
for that, we didn't ask to be a survivor. But
I think those moments being able, you can be angry,
you can be frustrated. You can feel everything about what
happened to you while or so accepting the fact that
(20:10):
this has happened. We can't go back and change the past.
What we can do is change our responses, our emotions
and behaviors to make sure that what happened doesn't define
us going forward and doesn't have to have that grip
on us. And I also think survivor is such an
empowering thing as well, Like you, you survived it, You
did that. Yeah, be freaking proud. Is there anything you
(20:34):
want to say to that?
Speaker 2 (20:34):
No, it's a really I mean, it's a great It's
a complex question. I think I went through a period
of you know, my trauma is different there in terms
of you know, expect to that ED disorder and OCD,
and it has been quoted in articles, you know, even
disort of survivor, and personally, I don't feel connected necessarily
to the survivor word.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
And you know, I don't know. It's a complex one.
That's really interesting because I remember reading your hospital files
with you, and I have read a lot more. I
guess details of what has gone public and gen you're
eating just order nearly killed you like you. That's like
you survived one of the most deadly mental illnesses. Like
(21:16):
that's like I think that, I think that people often
associate survivor survivor with a traumatic event. But that's it's
interesting that you feel you don't connect to that, because
that's I think you should take a moment to go
christ like you did. You survived because you did the
work and that thing it literally nearly killed you, like it. Yeah,
(21:40):
I'm I'm just gonna let you. I need to sit
with that. And I think, no, you're completely right. I
did survive, and I think it's not only that I thrived.
You know, why do you think the word survivor makes
you feel uncomfortable for you for your journey?
Speaker 2 (21:54):
No, this is a great question, and instantly what comes
to mind, and I would be the first person to
shut someone down that said this is it doesn't feel
I don't know if I feel worthy of that title,
which is you know, and you've just broken it down
for me is so interesting because how, yeah, I survived,
(22:16):
Yeah you did.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Like you think of like nineteen year old gen who
is doing also for you with OCD all of these
rituals and stuff, but like for me, literally reading those
hospital notes there were moments where you didn't want to
wake up, but also that you physically, if you kept going,
it would have claimed your life. You literally survived one
(22:40):
of the most deadly mental illnesses that there is, and
I think you need to give yourself more credit for that.
But I also think this is really interesting because there
is so much stuff around around being a survivor being
tied to traumatic events and that it's not big enough
where it's not bad. And I literally just had this
(23:01):
conversation real with Brie, which was on the last episode
of this podcast. I remember when she told me about
her traumatic event that she went through where she was kidnapped.
Well not sorry, she wasn't. Oh my god, let me
reword that she was not. She was she was threatened
to be kidnapped. And when she first told me the story,
she was like, oh, but it's not like as bad
as what you'd been and I was like, I was.
(23:23):
I was shocked, and I was like, oh my gosh,
this is nuts. But there's so much comparison that can
happen of like, well it wasn't as bad as this,
or yes it was, yes it was well, and for
you and your experience and your life and what you
went through it was And I think that happens all
the time when it comes to like any kinds of
(23:44):
trauma of like, well it wasn't as bad as this
or like but and you were like yeah it was.
Yeah for you it was yeah, you're right. You can't
compare trauma. No. Well, thank you to the person that
asked that question.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
I'm going to just be driving home about this, like, wow,
that was uponto that.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
But thank you. That was a yeah, what a beautiful question. Yeah,
Oh my goodness, this is a good question for you. Okay,
how do you handle public speaking anxiety?
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Wow, this is a great question for me.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
I do more of more of it, more public speaking
than you know, I've probably ever done, you know, And
I think having jazz lead the way has been really
helpful for me. I think someone said something to me once,
you know, you get nervous because you care, Like every
time I go out and speak, I want to do
a good job. I want someone to take something for it.
I you know, have this in a critic and you know,
I don't think I'm again it's that worthy thing.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
I'm good enough.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
How dare you stand up on the stage and tell
these teenagers, you know what helped you through your struggles,
and you know, is it bad enough? And is anyone
going to relate to that story? And again that's something
I continue to work on. But I think it's one
of those things. And I learned this throughout my journeys,
is that exposure piece. Right, the more you do something,
the less scary it becomes. And so it's putting myself
in those uncomfortable positions, and she trying to flip the
(25:00):
narrative and be like, how lucky am I that I
get to share my experience and hopefully help someone.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
Yeah, I love that, And I think you know, a
lot of people wouldn't have seen them behind the scenes
for you. But like you used to have to write
everything down word for word on a piece of paper
before you spoke, and I wouldn't sleep for like three weeks.
And now she can just get up and just talk.
And I think that really does come from that, like
knowing you're you know the purpose of what you're speaking.
But even if people when it comes to like school
(25:27):
speeches and stuff like that, the big thing that still
really helps me and it counts can sound really cliche.
And you'll know this with with your battles with anxiety,
as well as the box breathing techniques. I've breathing for four,
hold for four, out for four, hold for four. This
is something that even some of your top athletes will do.
When people are at the peak of the performance. People
(25:47):
are still doing that to calm their nerves down. And
while I personally don't get anxious speaking anymore, weirder only
because I've done it five million times, I did get
very nervous when I had to go after someone bias.
It was, oh my goodness, and I was in high
heels and then my earring dropped off in the stage.
Lad read of the title wrong. Oh my gosh. Yes,
(26:12):
there's also this one time. Okay, I want to tell
the story, and I really hope that you're okay with
it from me. So the reason this actually came up
is that I was listening to the radio the other
day and Flick Thwna Haley, who hosts the breakfast show
for ZIM. We're talking about mispronouncing words and like when
that's been an issue for you, And there was this
one time that we were speaking in a intermediate school
(26:34):
and there's a bunch of like very young kids there right,
and Gina's getting up. She's getting real confident at this point,
she's speaking her little heart out, and then she's starting
to talk about tools, and at one point she stops
and she says, just grab your tit. I wanted to
(26:56):
crawl into a ball. I'm standing on the side of
the stage, catch her out the side of my eye.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
Go And so basically what I was trying to say
is this breathing technique where you squeeze your fists. So
I think I was saying, just squeeze your fist, but
I said squeeze your tits.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
And then I was like, I need to go home.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
It was the funniest thing, no, And thankfully I think
it went over most of their heads, but.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
I just the teachers. But I want to I want
to share that because we've all had. We've all had,
I've said a couple of times, and now I'm so
cautious when I say it. It was I don't know
it was a school or a corporate conference. It may
have been a corporate conference. And I was talking about
(27:43):
the whole concept of it, start surviving, start fighting.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
And.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
Shot chart to short surviving you know what a shot?
And then I just couldn't like trying to recover from that,
and so.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
That happens, and you actually taught me something because I'd
often like if I fumble my words while I'm talking,
They're like sorry, and you like, stop saying sorry because
it makes more obvious.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
Just continue faked, you make it? This is I feel
like this All of these questions are making me really
ponder a lot of things this person has said. Is
the reason we can't love ourselves because of other people's actions?
Or is that selfish to say that other people are
the reason that we can't love ourselves? It's dang, I'm
(28:30):
going to say. I'm going to say, I want to
say yes. To be honest, I think I'm not gonna
What I will say from personal experience is that a
lot of my time, like for me, my inability to
love myself has come from a mixture of things that
(28:51):
has come from not getting that when I was super
young growing up. And if I can't be loved by
those who are supposed to love me, then why what
I be? It came from trauma, it came from bullying,
it came from all of that. And then see this
is funny because then I say, and then it also
came from the things that I did and my reactions.
(29:12):
And that also, I like, because I would hate myself
for certain things with ways that I would cope were,
especially when I was constantly kind of that crisis mode
or feeling like I had to make something up to
be to still you know, feel momentary love or things
like that. And then when I go back to the
core of that, those behaviors, those responses, those things that
(29:33):
I couldn't love myself because of was a response to
the things that happened to me. Yeah, and the things
that are going on in the world, And I think that, yeah,
I don't think that's something that is like, you're not
born hating yourself. No, you're not born with an inability
(29:53):
to love yourself. No, And then no, I completely hear you.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
And then I look at my situation and where I
was so privileged and I am so privileged to have
been surrounded and so much love, Like there wasn't anything
external that made me feel Did you.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
Ever feel like you didn't love yourself, well, that you
couldn't love yourself?
Speaker 2 (30:14):
I think it was probably that came as part of
my experience, you know, through more specifically tied to my
eating disorder.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
I don't think it was something I experienced apart from
that different for everyone. Yeah, that's man, that some of
these questions are are good. I mean I have like
a million answers. As soon as I leave here, I
feel it. Oh my god, I've just seen for those
of you who listened to zenim Ross boss, who is
(30:45):
the boss of zenim Networks? Do you know the muffin Man?
Do you know? Do you know the muffin Man? The
Muffin Man, the Muffin Man? Do you know them? Man
who lives on Dreury Lane? How do you deal with
online bullies?
Speaker 2 (30:56):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (30:57):
You get more of these? And that is not an invitation, girl,
and I will cry. Yeah. I mean I've been getting
bullied on the engineer since I was in Bibo days,
and I mean to be I don't think i'd shared
the story red so oh man, people that I went
(31:19):
to high school are going to absolutely girl me for this.
But so when I was younger, when we were younger,
there was this app that a lot of you probably
won't know. It wasn't even an app, it was a website, Bbo.
We all had Bibo. Exactly what you're gonna say, yeah,
and back on Bebo, there was a thing where you
could have someone as your other half, and everyone had
(31:40):
someone as your other half. I didn't have any friends,
and so I just made a random faced it so
that I could for them. Do you remember their name? No? No,
I don't remember at all.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
Bibo was the worst. I would have your other half
and you'd have your top five or ten, the fight
with someone at school, and.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
They'd move down this.
Speaker 2 (32:01):
Oh my gosh, you can move them down, change them
as much as you want to.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
I was convinced. I was having a conversation with Ashley
Tidstar once on me anyway. To go back to the
question online police, that's it is something that you know,
I've experienced since before I kind of got the profile
that I do now, and I definitely deal with it
a lot better than I used to. I think that
the block button is the most powerful thing that you
(32:25):
could possibly have. I think that, you know, for me,
what I've learned as well is that what you don't
see can't hurt you. So I try to not actively
seek out some of the you know that kind of
stuff and and do block it as fast as I can.
And I think that's hard when it comes to people
that are in school and you're kind of having to
(32:45):
go face to face with his people every day. But
I think also talking to people is so powerful and
reporting it, reporting it like it's not when when you
know your parents were at school, they would get bullied
at school and then come home and it would not
follow them home or as now it doesn't. Mis seeing
case after case after case of that. Especially you know,
(33:07):
we've seen a string of suicides in Australia of these
young kids that have been bullied online and I think
I hate snapchat. I hate it because it also gets
rid of all of the evidence of stuff that happened.
As well, kids use it as an excuse. We used
to do things like ask if him or like those
anonymous things, but.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
You'd put one up on your own platform and then like, no,
you're going to get.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
Bullied do it? Just yeah? Terrible. Yeah. I think my
biggest piece of advice is what other people say about
you does not define who you are. It does not
define your self worth at all. The people who are
closest to you know you, they love you for who
you are, and block report you don't have to stand
for it. And also if you see it happening, and
you're not the one being bullied, or you're not the
(33:50):
bully themselves. If you see it happening, you have a
responsibility as well to jump in this issue. We cannot
be the people that we see these kids that are
dying suicide, and then we're posting going, oh my gosh,
you have to stand up to bullying, Oh my gosh,
And then you're seeing other people get bullied and you're
not doing anything about it because you don't want to
step on toes or you don't know. This is everyone's
(34:12):
responsibility and if we want to see this issue change,
it's not just on the victims. Yeah, no, I completely
hear you in that.
Speaker 2 (34:18):
And I think something that's been really sort of opening
to me is the fact that there's websites that literally
literally exists to bully people online. And I think the
way that I try and frame it is I actually
look at that and I just go, that is so sad,
the fact that people take time out of their day, Like,
how low and how unhappy must they be to go
and take time to type on a website awful things
(34:40):
about other people. Yeah, Like, I just really unfortunately think
that's potentially a reflection of them and what they're going through.
Speaker 1 (34:44):
Yeah. Yeah, I also think it's a reflection of society
that we think it's okay, like when you think of
back of like even all the women's magazines and stuff.
I think New Zealand's a bit better with that. But
all the American minds that you grow up with, all
the gossip forum gossip forums like you grow up with
be eight people like criticism and bullying is normal and
it shouldn't be, and it's yeah, it's got to stop.
(35:06):
It's so insane. I like this question. If you had
one minute of everyone's attention in the entire world, what
would you tell them? And you only had one minute
to tell them? Oh my goodness.
Speaker 2 (35:18):
I needed these questions prior to this.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
I already asked last night, and there's so many that
have come through that are just like, oh my goodness,
Oh my gosh, I feel.
Speaker 2 (35:31):
Like I'm going to miss important stuff and then be like,
why did I do?
Speaker 1 (35:33):
I mean, I would say I think I say the
same thing everywhere that I go because for me, this
is my purpose in life. And before I get up
on any stage, before I direct any campaign, any show,
write any book, is that at the end of each
(35:54):
of those things, I want everyone to know that no
matter what it is that they're facing, hope is real
and change is possible. And that's why this podcast is
named Hope is Real. But I think that we underestimate
the power of hope and that no matter what it
is that you are going through, things can change. Because
(36:16):
I think that's where we lose majority of our people,
is that they just they there's no ability for them
to ever see change. And sometimes you can be living
in it for so many years it is so it
feels impossible to see that. I was in it for
nine years. But yeah, I would say, hold on, hold on,
(36:37):
hope is so freaking real and change is possible.
Speaker 2 (36:39):
You've just got to be here to see it. What
would you say? And the world is better with you
and you. Gosh, there's so many things I want to say.
The first things that come to mind is that you
are not the exception to healing. I think I talk
to people every single day that are like, yeah, but
that's you.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
I can't do that.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
We've had the privilege of meeting so many incredible people
through our work and through sharing our own stories, have
healed and that have found peace after you know, their
their battles, and I think it's really important to remember
that you are capable. You're stronger than you even know,
and I think I really want to validate that. I
know it's incredibly exhausting. I know it's daunting, I know
it's overwhelming. I know that sometimes it feels like it
(37:17):
would be easier just to stay the same and stay.
Speaker 1 (37:19):
Where you are now.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
But I can promise you from my experience, from the
amount of people I've spoken to, that no one ever
regrets healing. It'll be the best thing you ever do
for yourself.
Speaker 1 (37:29):
And you're not alone.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
And as Jazz said, or as I said for Jazz,
the world is better with you in it.
Speaker 1 (37:36):
That's that I need to write that out. Put it
on a T shirt. Well, don't ask me saying again,
because put it on Oh my goodness, that's no. I
really love that. And you know, there's there's so many
there's so many questions that I want to get to
and I can see, you know how much people are
There's so many different things that people are struggling with.
(37:56):
And we have the honor and the privilege of just
being a part of what we get to do when
we get to be honest and open. And I actually
laugh the other day when I was sharing the full
story of the whole Stalker situation because the laws finally
getting past it, Stalker was becoming a leader. Yeah, And
someone commented and said, oh my god, there's almost so
much drama on your page, no offense, And I just
(38:18):
sat there and I was like, that's because I have
the honor and the privilege of sharing everything that happens.
Most people don't do that. Yep. Most people only present
one side of themselves or you know, So it does
feel like there's always drama, but that's because I'm just sharing, yeah,
you know, and seve of the times, it's like stoff
having two years ago that I'm a talking.
Speaker 2 (38:37):
About now, but completely it's almost like that, being like
you're always so vulnerable.
Speaker 1 (38:41):
Yeah, someone, It's another question that we get asked a lot,
but I want to see if you've got any any
new answers to it. As we're beginning to slowly wrap up,
there's so many more questions I want to get to.
I'm going to sew many weeks squeeze in, but what
is a moment for you that has stood out in
the recent years of like why you keep doing this?
(39:02):
What it's like your proudest I don't want to there,
those are two different questions. I don't want see your
brand's a team in. Yeah, I want to say, what's
like a moment for you that has stood out to
you in this advocacy work where you've gone, Oh my gosh,
I'm making a difference. Oh my goodness.
Speaker 2 (39:18):
I had a moment recently where I was in the
car park at Newmarket Mall and a dad came up
to me and said, thank you for writing your book.
Isaac was with me, and he sat me down. Afterwards
he goes, do you know what a big deal that is?
That dad walked over to you. His daughter was standing
there and she looked like she was just didn't want
(39:39):
to have anything to do with me in that moment,
which is fine. But yeah, I think that was a
moment where I went because the book writing journey was
so vulnerable and so scary, but also to know even
if it just helt that one dad, yeah, that it
helps someone.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
That was cool for me.
Speaker 2 (39:58):
So that's kind of more, I guess a personal one
something that I love. So I run support groups every
fortnight and they've been running for sort of four or
five years now, and they eating to sort of support
groups and throughout those years, and it happened recently someone
messaged me saying they're pregnant, and I just was like,
how freaking cool is this? And I understand not everyone
wants to have a baby, but I think if you've
(40:18):
been through an eating disorder, you know the damnage it
does have on your baby, on your on your baby,
on your body, and those moments, I'm like to have
been part of your journey, even.
Speaker 1 (40:27):
If it was this small, it was so freaking cool. Yeah. Yeah,
I don't even feel like I can put it down
to one moment. There's so many, so many moments where
it just reminds me why I'm doing it. And I
think that, you know, for me, last year was so hard,
(40:50):
and there were so many points where I considered stopping
all of this. I mean stopping in general, but so
many times I consider stopping this all. And even when
the stalker situation happened and the conversations around taking everything
offline and not like, you know, because there was so
much fear around it, but then just looking back at
all of these different interactions and going, holy grab this
(41:11):
is why and I think, yeah, I mean I have
it is the parents always get me. I was speaking
at an event in Tasmania that I was about to
say recently, and that was wild Festival because it's in
a different country, but I just remember this mother coming
up with their child and the moms just bawling her
(41:32):
eyes out and just is like saying thank you, thank you,
thank you again, like my kid is here. Because of
the fact that you guys are so open with your stories,
and that's that happened as well, like a few years
ago at a different conference, I was speaking and it's
something that for me when you see that impact and
you see people choosing hope, everything else doesn't matter. The
(41:57):
haters don't matter, the fear of putting yourself online doesn't matter,
like nothing else matters, because these people are finding hope
and it's so cool that you get to just be
this tiny little part of it. And I want to
emphasize that that's what it is like people. And I've
(42:17):
told other's a lot that people will be like, oh,
like Jas and Gin, you saved my life and we
did not save you. When you say that someone or
something saved your life, You were the one that chose
to stay. You were the one that chose to listen
to them. You were the one that chose to take
the opportunity of hope that was presented to you and
run with it. You were the one that did all
(42:38):
of the hard work. All that we do is go, hey,
there's hope, and then there's counselors who go, hey, here's
some things that you can practically do, and there's family
hook hey will be around you. But at the end
of the day, it's your decision. And that for me
seeing people choose to fight and choose to stay, Oh,
(43:00):
every time I can, I completely understand.
Speaker 2 (43:02):
Then I think you know, and I think I learned
that from you because I get comments like that, being
like you saved my life. No, you saved your life.
And it's such an honor and a privilege to have
been a small part of that journey.
Speaker 1 (43:11):
Yeah, tiny part, it's a tiny part. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (43:15):
I get incredibly inspired by the people within our communities.
It's a pretty unique position to be in where you
are interacting or seeing the most resilient human beings on
a daily basis.
Speaker 1 (43:28):
And we, I mean, we love all of you, like
so much, and we see you. We know so many
of you by names. We talk about it. I know,
we literally do. We talk about you. We stalk you,
not in the illegal sense, but you know we I
cannot even say how much we appreciate this platform that
you've allowed us to give to share our stories. Like
we get to do this because you trust us, You
(43:51):
trust the advice that we give, you, trust the way
that we're able to speak. And I don't think I'll
ever ever take that for granted. Like there's some of
you that we see a whole bunch of different events
that we go to, and I've seen a few times
he'll be like, I don't want to be annoying. No, No,
this is every reason that we do it, and it's
(44:13):
every reason that we jump on and we go through
crazy traffic to come and record a podcast and then
we go and you know, we're so thankful to be
able to do it, and it's yeah, it's everything. I
completely agree. Hey, first, we all Jen, thank you so
much for it coming on and closing out another season
of Hope is Real the podcast, And again, thank you
(44:33):
guys so much for hanging out with me this season
and for the seasons beforehand. Like I said earlier. If
there is anything that you've messed or you haven't listened
to an episode, please go back listen. And as always,
if anything in this episode or any of the questions
that we were speaking to has brought up anything for you,
please no. Remember that the best thing that you can
(44:54):
do is to ask for help, and if you don't
know how to do that, if there's not anyone in
your direct world that you feel like you can talk to,
there are helplines that exist all around the world as well.
You can go here in altaioa once even three seven
is an amazing helpline. We've got youth line, or if
you live overseas, got a dub dub dub dot the
Voices of Hope dot org. There's a list of international
helplines on there as well. But thank you guys so
(45:15):
much for hanging out with me this season. It's been
an absolute honor and a privilege, and I will see
you soon.
The ZM podcast Network. Hi guys, welcome back to what
is the last episode of season three, Hopes Were All
the podcast. I can't believe I'm saying that we've done
another season already. I can't even believe that I got
to do three seasons. But thank you so much for
coming on this journey with me. If there's any of
the episodes that you've missed it all, please go back
(00:21):
and listen. The season has been filled with some of
the most incredible people, some phenomenal stories. We've talked about
such a wide range of different things, and I really
think even if you personally aren't going through what is
talked about in the episode right now, it's so educational
and raw and kind of throughout the whole season, the
(00:41):
stories have just been amazing, and I just want to
thank you all for your support so far on this
podcast and on the season. It's been so it's been
so overwhelming. I can't believe that I get to do
this and there I get trusted with people's stories and
to be able to share them and share just a
little bit more hope in the world where everything is
going all there's so much happening at the moment and
(01:02):
for people to be willing to speak and to share
and to have these conversations and listen to these conversations
means everything. And as always, if anything in this triggers you,
please at any time you can stop, take a break,
come back to it, or talk to someone if you
need to. You're not alone. The bravest thing that you
can do right now is to talk to someone, is
(01:22):
to ask for help, whether that's from a friend, a
family member, or if you don't know who to talk to,
then if you live in Altieroa here you can call
or text one seven three seven at any time to
talk to a train counselor or if you live overseas,
go to dub dub dub dot the Voices of Hope
dot org for a list of international helplines. Remember that
(01:42):
no matter what it is that you're facing, no matter
what it is that you're going through, that in all things,
hope is real and change as possible. I wanted to
end the season by doing something that I've done the
last two season, which is a ask me anything, bringing
(02:02):
in my wonderful friend. All of you will know her
by now, the one, the only, the very tall Genevieve Mohra,
thank you, Hello, thank you for having me the giraffe.
The draft. You are literally a draft. I'm literally like
I just and people always say when they meet us
in person, yep, they're like, they always think I'm taller
than I am. They're like, you're very short, but you
are very tall.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Well, you're so tall?
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Yeah, you can't tell right now, obviously as we're sitting down,
you are. You're a bab tall and I'm very stroked.
I have you on here. I put up a question
box that there was thousands of questions that came through.
So we're not going to get to everyone's questions today,
but we're going to do as many as we possibly can.
There's one there I'm gonna say immediately caught my eye
that we must start with, and then we can have
(02:44):
a little of banter before we get really into the
other ones. If you were a potato products, Brown's Hot Chips,
et cetera, what would you be?
Speaker 2 (02:52):
And why there is such a story behind potatoes and
jazz and I oh, oh, I'm gonna go with.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
The French fry.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Why they're tall that long, crunchy on the outside, soft
on the inside, If it loves a French fry not Yeah,
but are you like a.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Like a like a real skinny French fry or.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Like a thick I'm a burger fuel French fry. Yeah, okay,
so that's not a French fry. Oh that's it.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
I wouldn't call that a French fry because it's thick,
hot chip, hot ship. That's what we call it in
New Zealand.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
It is.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
It's a hot hot ship and then the thin ones
a free Yeah, you're probably right, Yeah, a hot chip.
I wanted. Yeah, I want to know the definition for
Do Americans call it hot chips? No? No, what do
they call it? Fries? All of them? It's very valiquisiou.
They're not all fries. They're not what would you be.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
Mesh because that uh.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
Oh you know, no, I don't know. I mean I
can't say fries because you've said fries. I feel like,
obviously fries go with everything. What I do really love
is like a stuffed potato. Yeah, I think I'll be
a stuffed potato one because I'm just full of it.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
I'm full of stuff.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
There's a lot, there's a lot going on. Yeah, you know,
so I think I think I'll be a stuffed potato.
I just love stuff with lots of fillings, lots of fillings.
I do love stuff. Actually, now I'm hungry. Yeah, I
mean I was hungry beforehand, but now I really just
want potato. Before I get into a lot of other questions,
how are you? How you doing?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
I'm good, I'm good. Is that time of the year
it's all go? But no, I'm happy and healthy. And
I need to say this because I can't stop staring
at it. You've met your phone case?
Speaker 1 (04:39):
Oh my gosh, I do. It's the first thing that
caught my eye. Case to five bounce cases. I'm a
sucker for the sticky grips.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Yeah, I need one, to give you one.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
I need to I need to give you more sticky
grips lessons. If you didn't know, there's another one that
I just saw here. If you were an animal, what
would you be? And why? Well obvious I I've told
the story so many times. Were in Kenya? This girl
spotted a giraffe from literally like miles miles away and
sprinted over at by the giraffe.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
We got scent, and we got someone adopted. How does
that work? Adopted a draffe? Remember you got a sloth
and I got draft.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Yeah, I got a sloth man. This loss really for
those of you who weren't here in the early days
of when kind of we were first starting, and even
on social media. For me, I one time said that
I like sloths, and then suddenly I just got so
much sloth stuff sent to me.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
And a few adopted sloths. I mean, I still do
like sloths.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
I don't think that. I mean, I'm I'm you're be
a dog. I like being at dog parks or like
beaches is my favorite place in the entire world. Like
I told the story, coming around the corner right, Oh
(05:57):
my gosh, Okay, So where I used to live, we
live right next to this dog park and we would
go all the time, and I am the person was
very obsisted with talks, and I talked to dogs, all
of the dogs. And as we were walking into the park,
I saw this dog and I had a little jacket on,
and so I, without kind of plocking anything, go immediately
(06:18):
and just go oh, that's a nice jacket to the
dog in the exact tone, right, not realizing but first
of all that there is a man who was also
walking towards me and this dog in the jacket has
gone behind a bush so you can no longer see.
And this man is in like a like a rain
jacket thing, and he just looks at me and is like.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Y.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
And I made eyes with him like when I'm saying
the word jacket, and so I'm like, that's a nice jacket.
And I think this man is like to this day,
I'm traumatized by it.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Yeah, it's funny that dogs. I like, I'll walk down
the beach and someone will come to pet my dog
and I'll be like franky, say hi, Like she's gonna
be like, yeah, oh hey mate, I'm.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
The same thing. I'm like, say, hey they leap talk.
Oh no, but they I'm going to say hard on
them all, every single one of them. I would one
hundred percent be adult. Do you think dogs and dogs
dogs and would be friends. I think so. I think
that'd be a little buddy. I mean we're friends. We're friends. Yeah,
I'm like a tiny dog and you're a very tool. Okay.
(07:19):
Like I said, we've got thousands of questions at having SMAD,
so we're not going to spend too much time just
bantering around. There is a whole lot that are covering
a bunch of different topics, but one of them that
I think is going to be quite prevalent. As a
school You're here and alter it comes to an end.
As someone has asked on tips for people leaving school,
Oh do you have any?
Speaker 2 (07:41):
I think the one thing that comes to mind is
to focus on your own journey. I think when I
left school, a lot of my friends were going to
university and I was at a very different place in
my life having gone through my you know, my challenges
as a teenager or a university just wasn't on the
cards for me, and it wasn't something I was actually
that interested in doing at that point, and I spent
time sort of comparing myself, being like should I be
(08:02):
doing this?
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Should you know?
Speaker 2 (08:03):
Is there a certain way to live life? And I
think reminding yourself, especially if you've gone through trauma and
gone through challenges as a teenager, that your life will
look different and that's okay. Yeah, And to not compare
yourself to other people. I think also be really proud
of yourself. Finishing school is a big deal.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
I didn't finish school neither. Yeah. So first of all,
if you're finishing school and you're like graduating graduate freaking nations. Yeah,
because that's more than than I did. And I also
think that, you know, coming off the back of everything
that you've just said as well, is that you don't
have to have it all forget out. There's so much
pressure on teenagers, like pretty early on, you've got to
(08:41):
know what you need to what you want to do
for the rest of your life because you need to
not subjects you have to take, and then if you
don't take these subjects you can't get into university for this.
Then there's so much pressure and it's so unnecessary because
your brain is still developing. You don't know what you
want to do. Some of you will well and you're
gonna already you know, be on the path, but that's
not the case for everyone. Give yourself some race. Yeah,
(09:01):
be proud of yourself that you've done it and it's
all good, you know. I don't compare yourself to your
friends and what everyone else is doing, because I mean,
my few years after high school was spent in hospital
and so it's gonna look different for everyone. But yeah,
just don't don't try rush yourself or yeah, compare it's
probably he's still so young.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
I look back at like I thought I was so old,
and I was like, your friend, you were a child.
I really thought I thought I was so old.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
This question I want to see in a moment talking
about this. Someone has asked how to stop missing the
sick you? And this is something I think that is
not discussed enough. When you battle so deeply with mental
illness and the darkness, it can almost become a part
(09:49):
of who you believe that you are, and it becomes
your every day, it becomes your normalody. And when you
start to heal from that, there is a whole process
of grief this life that you kind of once knew.
And I know that for me personally, I lived so
much in the chaos, in the crisis of so much happening,
(10:10):
the darkness, and when I didn't have that or when
I was feeling okay, I didn't know how to deal
with it, like I didn't know. And I think that
for someone who grew up the way that I did
and the kind of beliefs that I had, and feeling
unlovable and like a burden and that kind of thing.
Even you know the fact that when you're really unwell,
(10:33):
sometimes people will come in and they'll help you and
there's that kind of feeling to it as well, that
it makes sense to miss the sick you because for
so long that was part of your identity. That's all
that you knew, and everything that you did was basically
expecting and expecting that this is how things will always be.
You didn't know that there would be anything different, and
(10:56):
so I think, you know, for me, it was such
a process of having to actively choose every day to
stay in recovery and writing down lists of why, like
being in recovery is so much better than being unwell,
and like what are the things that I'm living for
and what are the things that I now get to do,
Like the fact I can go and walk down to
a cafe. Couldn't do that when I was in the
(11:17):
psyche board. Like, you know, that kind of thing was
really big for me. But yeah, I just I don't
think it's it's something that is really talked about hugely
in this space.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
What about you, Oh, I completely agree with everything you've said.
I think I kind of want to focus on what
you said around and sort of the support people, and
I think it's so important to be there for people,
you know, not just when they're at their worst. But
when they're best, you know they're at their best, because
I think, like you said, when you're struggling, there can
be these people, or if you're lucky enough, you have
people that rally around you, and you can almost miss
that aspect of having people there for you. And you
(11:48):
don't need to be sick to have people there and
love and care and support you. But I think a
big thing that I've discussed a lot recently and I'm
still trying to work through is the grief for the
years that I lost to my illness. I think it
affects me now than ever when I look back and
I'm like, I'm thirty now, like I missed a good
chunk of my teen years and I will never ever
ever get back, and I'm mad about that, and I'm
sad about that. But I saw something recently and I
(12:11):
think I shared it all my socials around You know,
you were surviving in the only way you knew how,
and I think that's really important to remember.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
You can choose this. It's not your fault.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
It is understandable, and in many ways, if you missed
that sick version of you, because like you said, it's
all you.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Knew in that moment. I also think I really want
to take a moment to validate people that specifically young
people that have been admitted into hospital with the mental
illness into psychiatric wards. There's this common thing that happens
and at the time it can be really confusing and
you can get really angry about it where people want
(12:44):
to stay in hospital, and that happens because, like you
just said, that's where you feel you're heard. People understand
that you're struggling. People are there that help. When you've
got the nurses that are there that are there in
your darkest moments and they're kind of helping you get
through that. When you get out of that and suddenly
it's you having to do this again, you can miss
(13:04):
that that kind of full wrap around support of it.
And you know, we both have been in psych wards ourselves,
but also have been you know, we talk and hang
out sometimes in the adolescent warden. You sometimes see those
patterns of when things are getting bad again and you
don't quite know how to ask for help, but you
know that if you escalate, then I can end up
(13:26):
back here and then people will know there are things
that you can do. It doesn't have to be that way.
And while you think that's the only place that you
can get that love and support and feel heard and
feel seen, it's not. And you know, been able to
ask for help earlier before it gets to that point.
And oh, it's just it breaks my heart knowing how
(13:47):
much of a pattern that that can become, and knowing
that was a pattern for me as well, that it's yeah, I.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Know, I hear you, and I think I felt I
completely relate to that. I felt at that time safe
in the hospital. I felt really really safe and supported,
and every time I was discharged, you know, part of
my mind was like, how do I end up back
here because this is where I feel, you know, like
I get the support I need and I guess something
(14:16):
that helped me. And again, you know, it wasn't always
sort of easy listening to this, but I had to
remind myself constantly that I couldn't live in hospital for
either that at some point I was going to have
to face that uncomfortable and work hard at home and
break those patterns.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
I remember, we have talked a lot and you're kind
of explaining it a lot to me as well, that
specifically when it comes to eating disorders, that there becomes
this mindset or there's almost goal to get into hospital
because then people know that you're sick enough, or like
you have to you know, lose a certain amount of
weight or whatever it maybe you have to be sick enough.
I'm not sick enough unless I'm there. Can you explain, like,
(14:54):
talk to people who are struggling with eating disorders that
are feeling like that, I'm not sick enough, I have
to be sicker. What was you saying?
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Yeah, absolutely, I mean eing disorders are incredibly complex, and
I think it's important to acknowledge that not everyone with
an eating disorder. Actually a smaller proportion of people with
an ending disorder are going to be medically diagnosed is underweight.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
It's a very small proportion.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
I think media and those sort of things portray an
eing disorder in accurately that it's a very malnourished, unwell
human being.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
And you said is a case for some people.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
But I think you know, there's as common belief as
you said that, I've experienced myself, and I hear from
lots of people I interact with around I'm not sick enough.
And I think my message to people that feel that
is that if you are struggling with your mind, your body,
your self worth. You know, if you were struggling, you
are sick enough. And I think something I had to
learn is that nothing was ever going to be enough
(15:45):
for my eating disorder. My eating disorder was not going
to be happy until it was dead. The goalposts were
going to keep on shifting, and so reminding yourself that
you were worthy and deserving of help, that it's not
a competition, that eating disorders aren't about. Look, it's a
physical sorry, it's a mental illness is really really important
to remember.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
Yep, it's I mean we see it now as well
all the time, especially with social media and especially on
tektok as well. There's just it can become such a
competitive thing. And I'm so thankful we talk about this
all the time, how thankful we are that social media
didn't really exist and when we are unwow, because it's
so hard to navigate it with that as well, and
(16:23):
I think that can also add to that feeling of
not being sick enough. And yeah, to just validate whether
it's you know, with with any disorders or anything else
that you're struggling with when you feel like you need
to get help you, it's okay, it's acceptable to get help.
At that point, you don't have to wait for stuff
to hit the fane.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
And the deeper you go, the more you have to
crawl out, you know.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Dang girl, dang yeah, yeah, no, it's true, that's very true.
This question here is another one that I get asked
quite a bit. How to tell your parents about self harm?
This is something that is so incredibly difficult for a
lot of young people to do and to understand as well.
(17:07):
I think that you know, I've done a few different
episodes that have touched on self harm and how misunderstood
it is and how people just think that it's attention seeking,
but really you're just trying to cope with this pain
that is inside. And the reality is is that, especially
when it comes to the older generation, they might not
understand that. But your parents love you, they want the
(17:29):
best for you, and I think that being able to
if you feel like you can't physically tell them, write
it down. I'm a big advocate for writing it in
a letter, say how you're feeling, and being able to
articulate it as much as you can, because if you
go straight into a conversation you can get jumbled, there
can be a lot more emotions, and obviously the emotions
are still going to calm, the conversations are still going
(17:50):
to be had, and it's more important that someone knows
what is going on than you being so afraid of
the response. And you know, if your parent doesn't understand,
there's also resources that you can point them to online.
But this isn't something that you have to battle with alone,
(18:11):
and it's not something that is going to have to
stay with you for the rest of your life. But
you do need help to get out of that. So yeah,
to someone, speak to someone. Yeah, absolutely, I think it's
it's just it's so important. Oh, Jen loves this one
favorite quote. Loves a quote. Oh, I love a quote.
Love a quote. I love a quote. I think you
all know, Ma, I'm kidding you don't.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
Something I always say and was one of my biggest
recovery motivators was the journey of a thousand miles begins
with a single step. Something that I continue to remind
myself or remind people, is that you're now doesn't have
to be you forever. You know, things can change. Like
Jazz says, change is possible.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
Hope is real, and change as possible. Oh my gosh,
there's so many questions, guys. There's oh, this is interesting.
How do you cope with getting the title of survivor?
Recently got the title myself? Is what this person has said?
Speaker 2 (19:07):
This is?
Speaker 1 (19:08):
This is actually I wow, this is a really interesting
question because I think, first of all, the shift from
victim to survivor is huge as well, because that is
also saying that this is not just like, this is
something that happened to you, that you were a victim of,
but now you were on the process of you like,
(19:29):
you freaking survived it. Whatever it was that happened to you,
you survived it, You got through it, and that is
a testament to your strength. And none of that, though, ever,
justifies what happened. I think that anyone who is a
survivor of any form of trauma, we always hear that
whole thing of like, your trauma makes you stronger, you're
(19:50):
a survivor, you're so much. We didn't ask to be traumatized,
We didn't need to be stronger, like, we didn't ask
for that, we didn't ask to be a survivor. But
I think those moments being able, you can be angry,
you can be frustrated. You can feel everything about what
happened to you while or so accepting the fact that
(20:10):
this has happened. We can't go back and change the past.
What we can do is change our responses, our emotions
and behaviors to make sure that what happened doesn't define
us going forward and doesn't have to have that grip
on us. And I also think survivor is such an
empowering thing as well, Like you, you survived it, You
did that. Yeah, be freaking proud. Is there anything you
(20:34):
want to say to that?
Speaker 2 (20:34):
No, it's a really I mean, it's a great It's
a complex question. I think I went through a period
of you know, my trauma is different there in terms
of you know, expect to that ED disorder and OCD,
and it has been quoted in articles, you know, even
disort of survivor, and personally, I don't feel connected necessarily
to the survivor word.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
And you know, I don't know. It's a complex one.
That's really interesting because I remember reading your hospital files
with you, and I have read a lot more. I
guess details of what has gone public and gen you're
eating just order nearly killed you like you. That's like
you survived one of the most deadly mental illnesses. Like
(21:16):
that's like I think that, I think that people often
associate survivor survivor with a traumatic event. But that's it's
interesting that you feel you don't connect to that, because
that's I think you should take a moment to go
christ like you did. You survived because you did the
work and that thing it literally nearly killed you, like it. Yeah,
(21:40):
I'm I'm just gonna let you. I need to sit
with that. And I think, no, you're completely right. I
did survive, and I think it's not only that I thrived.
You know, why do you think the word survivor makes
you feel uncomfortable for you for your journey?
Speaker 2 (21:54):
No, this is a great question, and instantly what comes
to mind, and I would be the first person to
shut someone down that said this is it doesn't feel
I don't know if I feel worthy of that title,
which is you know, and you've just broken it down
for me is so interesting because how, yeah, I survived,
(22:16):
Yeah you did.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Like you think of like nineteen year old gen who
is doing also for you with OCD all of these
rituals and stuff, but like for me, literally reading those
hospital notes there were moments where you didn't want to
wake up, but also that you physically, if you kept going,
it would have claimed your life. You literally survived one
(22:40):
of the most deadly mental illnesses that there is, and
I think you need to give yourself more credit for that.
But I also think this is really interesting because there
is so much stuff around around being a survivor being
tied to traumatic events and that it's not big enough
where it's not bad. And I literally just had this
(23:01):
conversation real with Brie, which was on the last episode
of this podcast. I remember when she told me about
her traumatic event that she went through where she was kidnapped.
Well not sorry, she wasn't. Oh my god, let me
reword that she was not. She was she was threatened
to be kidnapped. And when she first told me the story,
she was like, oh, but it's not like as bad
as what you'd been and I was like, I was.
(23:23):
I was shocked, and I was like, oh my gosh,
this is nuts. But there's so much comparison that can
happen of like, well it wasn't as bad as this,
or yes it was, yes it was well, and for
you and your experience and your life and what you
went through it was And I think that happens all
the time when it comes to like any kinds of
(23:44):
trauma of like, well it wasn't as bad as this
or like but and you were like yeah it was.
Yeah for you it was yeah, you're right. You can't
compare trauma. No. Well, thank you to the person that
asked that question.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
I'm going to just be driving home about this, like, wow,
that was uponto that.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
But thank you. That was a yeah, what a beautiful question. Yeah,
Oh my goodness, this is a good question for you. Okay,
how do you handle public speaking anxiety?
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Wow, this is a great question for me.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
I do more of more of it, more public speaking
than you know, I've probably ever done, you know, And
I think having jazz lead the way has been really
helpful for me. I think someone said something to me once,
you know, you get nervous because you care, Like every
time I go out and speak, I want to do
a good job. I want someone to take something for it.
I you know, have this in a critic and you know,
I don't think I'm again it's that worthy thing.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
I'm good enough.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
How dare you stand up on the stage and tell
these teenagers, you know what helped you through your struggles,
and you know, is it bad enough? And is anyone
going to relate to that story? And again that's something
I continue to work on. But I think it's one
of those things. And I learned this throughout my journeys,
is that exposure piece. Right, the more you do something,
the less scary it becomes. And so it's putting myself
in those uncomfortable positions, and she trying to flip the
(25:00):
narrative and be like, how lucky am I that I
get to share my experience and hopefully help someone.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
Yeah, I love that, And I think you know, a
lot of people wouldn't have seen them behind the scenes
for you. But like you used to have to write
everything down word for word on a piece of paper
before you spoke, and I wouldn't sleep for like three weeks.
And now she can just get up and just talk.
And I think that really does come from that, like
knowing you're you know the purpose of what you're speaking.
But even if people when it comes to like school
(25:27):
speeches and stuff like that, the big thing that still
really helps me and it counts can sound really cliche.
And you'll know this with with your battles with anxiety,
as well as the box breathing techniques. I've breathing for four,
hold for four, out for four, hold for four. This
is something that even some of your top athletes will do.
When people are at the peak of the performance. People
(25:47):
are still doing that to calm their nerves down. And
while I personally don't get anxious speaking anymore, weirder only
because I've done it five million times, I did get
very nervous when I had to go after someone bias.
It was, oh my goodness, and I was in high
heels and then my earring dropped off in the stage.
Lad read of the title wrong. Oh my gosh. Yes,
(26:12):
there's also this one time. Okay, I want to tell
the story, and I really hope that you're okay with
it from me. So the reason this actually came up
is that I was listening to the radio the other
day and Flick Thwna Haley, who hosts the breakfast show
for ZIM. We're talking about mispronouncing words and like when
that's been an issue for you, And there was this
one time that we were speaking in a intermediate school
(26:34):
and there's a bunch of like very young kids there right,
and Gina's getting up. She's getting real confident at this point,
she's speaking her little heart out, and then she's starting
to talk about tools, and at one point she stops
and she says, just grab your tit. I wanted to
(26:56):
crawl into a ball. I'm standing on the side of
the stage, catch her out the side of my eye.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
Go And so basically what I was trying to say
is this breathing technique where you squeeze your fists. So
I think I was saying, just squeeze your fist, but
I said squeeze your tits.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
And then I was like, I need to go home.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
It was the funniest thing, no, And thankfully I think
it went over most of their heads, but.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
I just the teachers. But I want to I want
to share that because we've all had. We've all had,
I've said a couple of times, and now I'm so
cautious when I say it. It was I don't know
it was a school or a corporate conference. It may
have been a corporate conference. And I was talking about
(27:43):
the whole concept of it, start surviving, start fighting.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
And.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
Shot chart to short surviving you know what a shot?
And then I just couldn't like trying to recover from that,
and so.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
That happens, and you actually taught me something because I'd
often like if I fumble my words while I'm talking,
They're like sorry, and you like, stop saying sorry because
it makes more obvious.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
Just continue faked, you make it? This is I feel
like this All of these questions are making me really
ponder a lot of things this person has said. Is
the reason we can't love ourselves because of other people's actions?
Or is that selfish to say that other people are
the reason that we can't love ourselves? It's dang, I'm
(28:30):
going to say. I'm going to say, I want to
say yes. To be honest, I think I'm not gonna
What I will say from personal experience is that a
lot of my time, like for me, my inability to
love myself has come from a mixture of things that
(28:51):
has come from not getting that when I was super
young growing up. And if I can't be loved by
those who are supposed to love me, then why what
I be? It came from trauma, it came from bullying,
it came from all of that. And then see this
is funny because then I say, and then it also
came from the things that I did and my reactions.
(29:12):
And that also, I like, because I would hate myself
for certain things with ways that I would cope were,
especially when I was constantly kind of that crisis mode
or feeling like I had to make something up to
be to still you know, feel momentary love or things
like that. And then when I go back to the
core of that, those behaviors, those responses, those things that
(29:33):
I couldn't love myself because of was a response to
the things that happened to me. Yeah, and the things
that are going on in the world, And I think that, yeah,
I don't think that's something that is like, you're not
born hating yourself. No, you're not born with an inability
(29:53):
to love yourself. No, And then no, I completely hear you.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
And then I look at my situation and where I
was so privileged and I am so privileged to have
been surrounded and so much love, Like there wasn't anything
external that made me feel Did you.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
Ever feel like you didn't love yourself, well, that you
couldn't love yourself?
Speaker 2 (30:14):
I think it was probably that came as part of
my experience, you know, through more specifically tied to my
eating disorder.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
I don't think it was something I experienced apart from
that different for everyone. Yeah, that's man, that some of
these questions are are good. I mean I have like
a million answers. As soon as I leave here, I
feel it. Oh my god, I've just seen for those
of you who listened to zenim Ross boss, who is
(30:45):
the boss of zenim Networks? Do you know the muffin Man?
Do you know? Do you know the muffin Man? The
Muffin Man, the Muffin Man? Do you know them? Man
who lives on Dreury Lane? How do you deal with
online bullies?
Speaker 2 (30:56):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (30:57):
You get more of these? And that is not an invitation, girl,
and I will cry. Yeah. I mean I've been getting
bullied on the engineer since I was in Bibo days,
and I mean to be I don't think i'd shared
the story red so oh man, people that I went
(31:19):
to high school are going to absolutely girl me for this.
But so when I was younger, when we were younger,
there was this app that a lot of you probably
won't know. It wasn't even an app, it was a website, Bbo.
We all had Bibo. Exactly what you're gonna say, yeah,
and back on Bebo, there was a thing where you
could have someone as your other half, and everyone had
(31:40):
someone as your other half. I didn't have any friends,
and so I just made a random faced it so
that I could for them. Do you remember their name? No? No,
I don't remember at all.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
Bibo was the worst. I would have your other half
and you'd have your top five or ten, the fight
with someone at school, and.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
They'd move down this.
Speaker 2 (32:01):
Oh my gosh, you can move them down, change them
as much as you want to.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
I was convinced. I was having a conversation with Ashley
Tidstar once on me anyway. To go back to the
question online police, that's it is something that you know,
I've experienced since before I kind of got the profile
that I do now, and I definitely deal with it
a lot better than I used to. I think that
the block button is the most powerful thing that you
(32:25):
could possibly have. I think that, you know, for me,
what I've learned as well is that what you don't
see can't hurt you. So I try to not actively
seek out some of the you know that kind of
stuff and and do block it as fast as I can.
And I think that's hard when it comes to people
that are in school and you're kind of having to
(32:45):
go face to face with his people every day. But
I think also talking to people is so powerful and
reporting it, reporting it like it's not when when you
know your parents were at school, they would get bullied
at school and then come home and it would not
follow them home or as now it doesn't. Mis seeing
case after case after case of that. Especially you know,
(33:07):
we've seen a string of suicides in Australia of these
young kids that have been bullied online and I think
I hate snapchat. I hate it because it also gets
rid of all of the evidence of stuff that happened.
As well, kids use it as an excuse. We used
to do things like ask if him or like those
anonymous things, but.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
You'd put one up on your own platform and then like, no,
you're going to get.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
Bullied do it? Just yeah? Terrible. Yeah. I think my
biggest piece of advice is what other people say about
you does not define who you are. It does not
define your self worth at all. The people who are
closest to you know you, they love you for who
you are, and block report you don't have to stand
for it. And also if you see it happening, and
you're not the one being bullied, or you're not the
(33:50):
bully themselves. If you see it happening, you have a
responsibility as well to jump in this issue. We cannot
be the people that we see these kids that are
dying suicide, and then we're posting going, oh my gosh,
you have to stand up to bullying, Oh my gosh,
And then you're seeing other people get bullied and you're
not doing anything about it because you don't want to
step on toes or you don't know. This is everyone's
(34:12):
responsibility and if we want to see this issue change,
it's not just on the victims. Yeah, no, I completely
hear you in that.
Speaker 2 (34:18):
And I think something that's been really sort of opening
to me is the fact that there's websites that literally
literally exists to bully people online. And I think the
way that I try and frame it is I actually
look at that and I just go, that is so sad,
the fact that people take time out of their day, Like,
how low and how unhappy must they be to go
and take time to type on a website awful things
(34:40):
about other people. Yeah, Like, I just really unfortunately think
that's potentially a reflection of them and what they're going through.
Speaker 1 (34:44):
Yeah. Yeah, I also think it's a reflection of society
that we think it's okay, like when you think of
back of like even all the women's magazines and stuff.
I think New Zealand's a bit better with that. But
all the American minds that you grow up with, all
the gossip forum gossip forums like you grow up with
be eight people like criticism and bullying is normal and
it shouldn't be, and it's yeah, it's got to stop.
(35:06):
It's so insane. I like this question. If you had
one minute of everyone's attention in the entire world, what
would you tell them? And you only had one minute
to tell them? Oh my goodness.
Speaker 2 (35:18):
I needed these questions prior to this.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
I already asked last night, and there's so many that
have come through that are just like, oh my goodness,
Oh my gosh, I feel.
Speaker 2 (35:31):
Like I'm going to miss important stuff and then be like,
why did I do?
Speaker 1 (35:33):
I mean, I would say I think I say the
same thing everywhere that I go because for me, this
is my purpose in life. And before I get up
on any stage, before I direct any campaign, any show,
write any book, is that at the end of each
(35:54):
of those things, I want everyone to know that no
matter what it is that they're facing, hope is real
and change is possible. And that's why this podcast is
named Hope is Real. But I think that we underestimate
the power of hope and that no matter what it
is that you are going through, things can change. Because
(36:16):
I think that's where we lose majority of our people,
is that they just they there's no ability for them
to ever see change. And sometimes you can be living
in it for so many years it is so it
feels impossible to see that. I was in it for
nine years. But yeah, I would say, hold on, hold on,
(36:37):
hope is so freaking real and change is possible.
Speaker 2 (36:39):
You've just got to be here to see it. What
would you say? And the world is better with you
and you. Gosh, there's so many things I want to say.
The first things that come to mind is that you
are not the exception to healing. I think I talk
to people every single day that are like, yeah, but
that's you.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
I can't do that.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
We've had the privilege of meeting so many incredible people
through our work and through sharing our own stories, have
healed and that have found peace after you know, their
their battles, and I think it's really important to remember
that you are capable. You're stronger than you even know,
and I think I really want to validate that. I
know it's incredibly exhausting. I know it's daunting, I know
it's overwhelming. I know that sometimes it feels like it
(37:17):
would be easier just to stay the same and stay.
Speaker 1 (37:19):
Where you are now.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
But I can promise you from my experience, from the
amount of people I've spoken to, that no one ever
regrets healing. It'll be the best thing you ever do
for yourself.
Speaker 1 (37:29):
And you're not alone.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
And as Jazz said, or as I said for Jazz,
the world is better with you in it.
Speaker 1 (37:36):
That's that I need to write that out. Put it
on a T shirt. Well, don't ask me saying again,
because put it on Oh my goodness, that's no. I
really love that. And you know, there's there's so many
there's so many questions that I want to get to
and I can see, you know how much people are
There's so many different things that people are struggling with.
(37:56):
And we have the honor and the privilege of just
being a part of what we get to do when
we get to be honest and open. And I actually
laugh the other day when I was sharing the full
story of the whole Stalker situation because the laws finally
getting past it, Stalker was becoming a leader. Yeah, And
someone commented and said, oh my god, there's almost so
much drama on your page, no offense, And I just
(38:18):
sat there and I was like, that's because I have
the honor and the privilege of sharing everything that happens.
Most people don't do that. Yep. Most people only present
one side of themselves or you know, So it does
feel like there's always drama, but that's because I'm just sharing, yeah,
you know, and seve of the times, it's like stoff
having two years ago that I'm a talking.
Speaker 2 (38:37):
About now, but completely it's almost like that, being like
you're always so vulnerable.
Speaker 1 (38:41):
Yeah, someone, It's another question that we get asked a lot,
but I want to see if you've got any any
new answers to it. As we're beginning to slowly wrap up,
there's so many more questions I want to get to.
I'm going to sew many weeks squeeze in, but what
is a moment for you that has stood out in
the recent years of like why you keep doing this?
(39:02):
What it's like your proudest I don't want to there,
those are two different questions. I don't want see your
brand's a team in. Yeah, I want to say, what's
like a moment for you that has stood out to
you in this advocacy work where you've gone, Oh my gosh,
I'm making a difference. Oh my goodness.
Speaker 2 (39:18):
I had a moment recently where I was in the
car park at Newmarket Mall and a dad came up
to me and said, thank you for writing your book.
Isaac was with me, and he sat me down. Afterwards
he goes, do you know what a big deal that is?
That dad walked over to you. His daughter was standing
there and she looked like she was just didn't want
(39:39):
to have anything to do with me in that moment,
which is fine. But yeah, I think that was a
moment where I went because the book writing journey was
so vulnerable and so scary, but also to know even
if it just helt that one dad, yeah, that it
helps someone.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
That was cool for me.
Speaker 2 (39:58):
So that's kind of more, I guess a personal one
something that I love. So I run support groups every
fortnight and they've been running for sort of four or
five years now, and they eating to sort of support
groups and throughout those years, and it happened recently someone
messaged me saying they're pregnant, and I just was like,
how freaking cool is this? And I understand not everyone
wants to have a baby, but I think if you've
(40:18):
been through an eating disorder, you know the damnage it
does have on your baby, on your on your baby,
on your body, and those moments, I'm like to have
been part of your journey, even.
Speaker 1 (40:27):
If it was this small, it was so freaking cool. Yeah. Yeah,
I don't even feel like I can put it down
to one moment. There's so many, so many moments where
it just reminds me why I'm doing it. And I
think that, you know, for me, last year was so hard,
(40:50):
and there were so many points where I considered stopping
all of this. I mean stopping in general, but so
many times I consider stopping this all. And even when
the stalker situation happened and the conversations around taking everything
offline and not like, you know, because there was so
much fear around it, but then just looking back at
all of these different interactions and going, holy grab this
(41:11):
is why and I think, yeah, I mean I have
it is the parents always get me. I was speaking
at an event in Tasmania that I was about to
say recently, and that was wild Festival because it's in
a different country, but I just remember this mother coming
up with their child and the moms just bawling her
(41:32):
eyes out and just is like saying thank you, thank you,
thank you again, like my kid is here. Because of
the fact that you guys are so open with your stories,
and that's that happened as well, like a few years
ago at a different conference, I was speaking and it's
something that for me when you see that impact and
you see people choosing hope, everything else doesn't matter. The
(41:57):
haters don't matter, the fear of putting yourself online doesn't matter,
like nothing else matters, because these people are finding hope
and it's so cool that you get to just be
this tiny little part of it. And I want to
emphasize that that's what it is like people. And I've
(42:17):
told other's a lot that people will be like, oh,
like Jas and Gin, you saved my life and we
did not save you. When you say that someone or
something saved your life, You were the one that chose
to stay. You were the one that chose to listen
to them. You were the one that chose to take
the opportunity of hope that was presented to you and
run with it. You were the one that did all
(42:38):
of the hard work. All that we do is go, hey,
there's hope, and then there's counselors who go, hey, here's
some things that you can practically do, and there's family
hook hey will be around you. But at the end
of the day, it's your decision. And that for me
seeing people choose to fight and choose to stay, Oh,
(43:00):
every time I can, I completely understand.
Speaker 2 (43:02):
Then I think you know, and I think I learned
that from you because I get comments like that, being
like you saved my life. No, you saved your life.
And it's such an honor and a privilege to have
been a small part of that journey.
Speaker 1 (43:11):
Yeah, tiny part, it's a tiny part. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (43:15):
I get incredibly inspired by the people within our communities.
It's a pretty unique position to be in where you
are interacting or seeing the most resilient human beings on
a daily basis.
Speaker 1 (43:28):
And we, I mean, we love all of you, like
so much, and we see you. We know so many
of you by names. We talk about it. I know,
we literally do. We talk about you. We stalk you,
not in the illegal sense, but you know we I
cannot even say how much we appreciate this platform that
you've allowed us to give to share our stories. Like
we get to do this because you trust us, You
(43:51):
trust the advice that we give, you, trust the way
that we're able to speak. And I don't think I'll
ever ever take that for granted. Like there's some of
you that we see a whole bunch of different events
that we go to, and I've seen a few times
he'll be like, I don't want to be annoying. No, No,
this is every reason that we do it, and it's
(44:13):
every reason that we jump on and we go through
crazy traffic to come and record a podcast and then
we go and you know, we're so thankful to be
able to do it, and it's yeah, it's everything. I
completely agree. Hey, first, we all Jen, thank you so
much for it coming on and closing out another season
of Hope is Real the podcast, And again, thank you
(44:33):
guys so much for hanging out with me this season
and for the seasons beforehand. Like I said earlier. If
there is anything that you've messed or you haven't listened
to an episode, please go back listen. And as always,
if anything in this episode or any of the questions
that we were speaking to has brought up anything for you,
please no. Remember that the best thing that you can
(44:54):
do is to ask for help, and if you don't
know how to do that, if there's not anyone in
your direct world that you feel like you can talk to,
there are helplines that exist all around the world as well.
You can go here in altaioa once even three seven
is an amazing helpline. We've got youth line, or if
you live overseas, got a dub dub dub dot the
Voices of Hope dot org. There's a list of international
helplines on there as well. But thank you guys so
(45:15):
much for hanging out with me this season. It's been
an absolute honor and a privilege, and I will see
you soon.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com