Oliver Mills: Being kinder to yourself (iHeart Early Release)

*TW* This content discusses topics such as suicide and mental distress.

Jazz invites Oliver Mills back again for Season 3, and he updates us on his journey over the past 12 months and tells us how and why he learned to be kinder to himself.

Hope Is Real is a Podcast to help you feel a little less alone, a bit more inspired, and a lot more hopeful. Join Jazz Thornton every week as she speaks to empowering and inspiring people from around the world and shares their stories to normalise the way we talk about mental health in society.

Insta and TikTok: @hopeisrealpodcast

Personal Insta @JazzThornton

Personal TikTok: @JazzThornton_

ZM Podcast Network: @ZMOnline 

If you need help, in New Zealand you can contact 1737 by text or call at anytime, or if you are listening internationally you can find someone to contact here: https://findahelpline.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
The ZM podcast Network.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
My mind just like snapped and it took a long
time to recover. I really am just a boy trying
to enjoy himself. I do that non apologetically. All I
feel is just a deep sense of gratitude, Like I
am so overwhelmingly grateful for just existence.

Speaker 1 (00:22):
Hey, everyone, welcome back to another episode of Hope Israel,
the podcast. The podcast designed to help you feel a
little less alone, a bit more inspired, and of course,
as always, a lot more hopeful. Now, today's guest is
a guy that you will know. You will have seen
his face. He is the man behind the twenty two hat.

(00:44):
He is the man involved in I think one of
TikTok's most famous love triangles. It's Oliver Mills. Now Oliver.
For those of you who may have listened to last
season of the podcast, he was on last season. If
you haven't listened to the episode, please pause this one
right now, go back, listen to his other one, and
then come back to this one. Because the man who
is sitting in front of me today on this episode

(01:06):
is so different to the person who sat down with
me a year ago. The growth that Oliver's had has
been phenomenal, and his mental health journey is one. As
we all know, mental health goes up and down and
it's such a journey to kind of live with. But
he lived a lot of his life with depression. He
had hospital stays, and the last time that I sat
down with him, he was really in the mindset that

(01:28):
his depression was his identity and it's just who he
was and no matter what he did, it would never change.
But now he's began to realize a lot of the
stuff around self care and the importance of being kind
to yourself. And this episode we talking about everything from
of course, the iconic Taylor Swift moment, what happened, how
the heck did he get chosen for this hat, the

(01:49):
fact Taylor Swift thinks he's the funniest person on earth, like,
oh my gosh, what to this love triangle? To dealing
with mental health and the career that he's in. It's
really kind of an update on his life, but also
helping you understand that what you necessarily see on a
screen of maybe someone's life going really well doesn't always
mean that that is what's matching what's going on externally

(02:12):
or kind of internally. I guess that everyone is fighting
a beat or everyone is going through something, and Oliver
is amazing at articulating the things that he struggles with,
but how he manages to cope with those. So Oliver
Mills his story Taylor Swift twenty two hat all of
that's coming up right after this. Oliver Mills, Hey, goodness,

(02:34):
you're back. I think you were like maybe one of
two guests that I've had on twice, and I had
to do it because your life has changed a little
bit like jurassically changed. The last time you were here,
you were very different. You had a smashed phone that
you were trying to record your things on.

Speaker 2 (02:50):
You were run TikTok, no it on TikTok. For those
listening watching, is it we video and not?

Speaker 1 (02:56):
Yeah, yeah we are.

Speaker 2 (02:58):
As soon as me and Jay's finished our last part,
she gave me her home. So from that and from
that day forth, on the drive home, I was like,
I will vanquish her enemies until the day. I adore you.
I adore you such a force for light in New
Zealand especially but the world.

Speaker 1 (03:15):
Oh you're so sweet.

Speaker 2 (03:16):
Knock it out of the park.

Speaker 1 (03:17):
I mean, you're knocking out of the park right now,
And I really it makes me. Every time I see
you online, it just fills me with joy because the
person that I met the very first time we were
at Kessie Henderson's launch thing or party at whatever it
was album party thing and seeing this passionate I was
about to say little, but that's bold of me to
say when I can't touch the floor on this chair

(03:38):
that I'm sitting in. But this passionate kid who just
was so like you were so excited, the world was
soberg but there was also so much going on for you.
And who sits in front of me now is just
a different person to who sat in front of me
last time. So much has happened, lots and lots and
lots so like literally so much that okay, so I

(03:59):
need to I honestly don't even know where to start. Like,
first of all, I've never sabbed so much. When I
saw you get the twenty two hatch from Taylor Swift,
it was ridiculous.

Speaker 2 (04:10):
No, I don't. I actually still don't really know how
to talk about it. Like I've seen so many videos
of that happening and I forget that, like I have
the memory from my eyes and going back to that
is like what the hell is going on? I can't
believe that.

Speaker 1 (04:23):
Have you had a moment of like you literally nearly
missed that, Oliver, like lots.

Speaker 2 (04:29):
Of those, Like more than anything right now, all I
feel every day is just a deep sense of gratitude,
Like I am so overwhelmingly grateful for just existence. Really
I feel very, very lucky. I can't believe I get
to be here with you, Like this is truly, this
is a dream, very serious. I absolutely adore you. I

(04:52):
think you were so wonderful. I really adore you.

Speaker 1 (04:54):
And that's why, like from the moment that I met you,
I was like I just need Like you're gonna have
such a huge impact on this world, and your joy
is infectious and it's contagious. And to be able to
even look at Oliver that was sitting here last season,
and to be able to tell you, like, this is
what your life is going to look like in a
year and one year. The kid who sat here before

(05:15):
was still very unsure of life, was still very you know,
mental health was always up and down anyway, but like
didn't know what his purpose was, didn't know. And now
you're out here, you're traveling. You went to London, Yeah,
I had.

Speaker 2 (05:31):
I had a big brand deal in London, like my
first ever. That was my first ever brand deal. It's
the first time I got paid from anything TikTok or
and social media or anything.

Speaker 1 (05:40):
Yeah, you were like really broke when I saw you
last time as well.

Speaker 2 (05:43):
Yeah, my phone was cracked, like yes, how it happened
was Jazz was like, do you want to take a photo?
I was like no, no, sorry, Like my my TikTok
wasn't opening on that phone. It was like an iPhone ten.
But it was beat all hell and and you gave
me a phone and then it really has been up that. Yeah,
I went to London, like I've never traveled, Like I've

(06:04):
really not done much living really, I did most of
it in here for the first like how many years.
But now we're actually like going out and seeing the world.

Speaker 1 (06:14):
Can we can we do a bit of a recap
for those whom we didn't hear the last episode of
your Journey before this year, because this year has been
absolute Like I look at it and I so understand
it because I remember when this happened for me. Different
didn't have Taylor Swift telling me I'm the funniest person,
but I remember my life exploding and being like, oh

(06:34):
my gosh, like what has happened? But I would love
to go back, Like can you can you talk about
what your life was like before this? In the last
year and kind of leading up to that, you had
a really hard battle with your mind? Can you tell
us what happened? I?

Speaker 2 (06:49):
Yeah, I was depressed at sixteen fifteen and sixteen from
a really bad breakup and my mind just like snapped
it and it took a long time time recover. And
then I struggled through and stumbled through existence for a
long time, and then was at university and moved around
there and I don't really like school and never really

(07:10):
liked school, so like there was going to university was
a bit silly. I have a degree that I haven't finished.

Speaker 1 (07:14):
What degree was it?

Speaker 2 (07:15):
Philosophy and psychology?

Speaker 1 (07:17):
That makes so much sense for vishah, Sorry, what an
arrogant thing? No, like literally, with the way that you talk,
it makes so much sense.

Speaker 2 (07:23):
I couldn't do so psychology great, like straight a's no
problem at all. Philosophy, what are we talking about? Like,
can we actually say something that has meaning and value
rather than like, here's what this white man thinks and
this white man disagreed and hadn't I what are we doing?

Speaker 1 (07:38):
Like, yeah, correct, I couldn't.

Speaker 2 (07:39):
I couldn't get into it, but then stumbled upon techtoc
like just started uploading random videos of me singing in
the car, and then it took off, and Christmas last year,
I was like, I'm just gonna We're just gonna do this,
like I'm gonna see what happens. And so I moved
home to them Mount with Lips, started living with Mum

(07:59):
and Dad, and then it all just started falling into place.

Speaker 1 (08:03):
And I really don't know where I am now, which
younger Oliver would have never believed because you were struggling
to even stay alive a while ago. Yeah, like like
really quite quite seriously was nearly not here. And the
amount of times that I just see you're posting or

(08:23):
just seeing stuff have you come up and just this
immense like I can't even explain how proud I am that,
like because I've seen you in that his space of
just like this is my identity, nothing's ever going to change,
and for you to experience what real hope is, like
you couldn't even answer that question last time. You couldn't
answer what the meaning of hope was.

Speaker 2 (08:43):
When you were like, like, so is there hope and
I was like, don't make me tell them that there's not.

Speaker 1 (08:49):
Well, you also believed that depression was just who you were.
H How has that shifted for you? No, you still
believe that's who.

Speaker 2 (08:55):
You are, not who I am. But like, God, this
is a step forward we're making strive. It's no, it's
more for me. It's that like I have a very
sensitive mind. Yeah, Like I broke my arm when I
was sixteen or seventeen or whatever, and it healed wrong,
and I have bad knees and so like I'm very
careful with them, and it's the same with my brain.
I take at the moment, I just take an incredible

(09:17):
amount of care with myself and my peace and what
allows me to get through. And a lot of the
time for me, that's doing nothing. Really, I don't do
a lot. I spend a lot of time just just
getting through. And I like that for me. I really
need that for me.

Speaker 1 (09:34):
Well, that also is such a significant difference, even though
it might kind of feel the same, the fact that
you're even able to be like I'm actually just really sensitive,
Like I've got you know, this stuff that just impacts
you a lot more than it might impact someone else,
just because of the way that you've developed and for
you to be able to see that and understand that
and take care of that.

Speaker 2 (09:53):
Yeah, I'm very I'm very gentle with myself. I know
a lot about what I need. And for the longest
time I fought against that because it felt like I
was fighting against the the illness. But it's no, it's
it's more like accepting what I am. And that's like
someone who will uh shray into really really dark thoughts. Yeah,

(10:17):
and so I'm just I'm just gentle with myself, trying
to try and be very kind with myself. I protect
my peace over pretty much anything good without being hedonistic.
That's that's always the worry. But like coming here, like
I drove here from Tott and I literally just drove in.
This is for me, Like I adore you. I can't
believe that I get to do this, and so and
I'm just I'm driving back.

Speaker 1 (10:37):
I can't believe you drove up here just for this.

Speaker 2 (10:38):
Of course. Yeah, no, I'll do I'll do anything for you.
Oh my gosh, I I owe you the world, I.

Speaker 1 (10:43):
Know, not at all, not at all. It's been my
my absolute greatest pleasure just watching you live this crazy life.
And I mean the moment with Taylor Swerth is like
we have we have to talk about Oliver because first
of all, every video I'd ever seen was children getting it.

Speaker 2 (11:03):
Yep, but should have been a kid.

Speaker 1 (11:05):
And suddenly it's Oliver. No, no, no, how iconic? Is
this right? Okay? Can you can you tell? Like what happened?
So get to this concert.

Speaker 2 (11:13):
Usually so Taylor Swift gives out a twenty two hat,
a hat signed with during her song twenty two too,
usually a child, usually a said child. So we got
there in the mediate last start finding all the you know,
all the maker Wish kids, and I'm pushing them out
of the way, shoving them care and getting all these
little things. And then I got to the stage and
I was like, hey, I'm here, and she saw me.
She was like, I think it was supposed to be

(11:35):
a child, but like you're here too, and that's fine.
It was ridiculous. It was the most unbelievable thing that's
ever happened.

Speaker 1 (11:44):
And Taylor specifically requested it to be you yeah, yeah,
which is I don't know, I don't know how no
one that is or if that's something you want to
be knowing. But like that was something that wasn't random,
Like she chose you, Oliver. That seems amable, Like it
wasn't her team that just saw you and was like,
oh we should bring Like she chose you because of

(12:06):
the light that you bring and how funny you are.

Speaker 2 (12:08):
I can't believe she should should have been a child.

Speaker 1 (12:10):
But happy, right, I mean, I'm thrilled for you. You're standing there,
You're what should have come towards you.

Speaker 2 (12:15):
She would have been a sick kid, But I'm happy
to take it right.

Speaker 1 (12:18):
What's going through your brain as you're standing there?

Speaker 2 (12:19):
Oh, nothing at all?

Speaker 1 (12:20):
Like what's going through your brain when you find out
you are going to get the twenty two hat I did?

Speaker 2 (12:25):
I mean nothing, Like what what do you mean? First
of all, like they they came and got us and
moved us to VIP and like even that, I was like,
what are we doing? Like this is so shue, But
this was so last minute. It was like we found out.
I found out I was going to Eras like a
week before we went wow and then yeah, one of
her teams said, well, we were walking down to VIP

(12:45):
like it's just leading me no this, and I was
like I don't know what to do about that or
with that at all.

Speaker 1 (12:54):
I would have just left. Yeah, I couldn't have handled it.
I would have just I would have just exited the building.

Speaker 2 (12:58):
Yeah. No. Yeah, So it was just like, okay, let's
just uh, let's just enjoy the concert. And it's eras is.
Have you seen have you been?

Speaker 1 (13:05):
I haven't. I couldn't get tickets.

Speaker 2 (13:06):
We have to go? Yes, please, It's the most unbelievable show.

Speaker 1 (13:11):
Yeah, I've seen every single video. I watch every video.

Speaker 2 (13:14):
It's a ridiculus. I feel like a movie. And because
we were in VIP, sorry like this, sorry anyway, So
I was in VIP with my with my twenty two
hats and it's basically don Julio like that was like
Ben's full of and you know, it was ridiculous. It
was ridiculous. But I don't I I really don't know
how to speak about it quite quite earnestly, because it's

(13:35):
so unfathomable. You know. I had like people that bullied
me in school messaging me on Instagram like hey man, congrats,
and that's how you know, Yeah, that's how you know
I'm up right now. We good. It's been pretty high
after that, it was. It was ridiculous.

Speaker 1 (13:50):
I just I remember seeing the video and messaging you immediately,
and I'm pretty sure the first thing that I said
to you was, Oliver, you nearly missed this. Yeah, like
that was the first. Obviously you were still and you
still are now, just like literally, what the heck? No,
But as an outsider who knew your story and seeing
this and being like, boy, if you had gone through

(14:11):
with not being here and the way that you had
tried to and believe that you should not be here,
you would not be standing in front of Taylor Swift
getting this damn hat dancing along.

Speaker 2 (14:21):
Like. I had moments like that during Enchanted, where like
just literally looking up and this like it's like this
quasi religious song amongst one hundred thousand people, every single
person in the stadium is singing it, and I was
looking up and I was like, we made it. Like
I really can't believe I'm gonna cry. I'm here.

Speaker 1 (14:40):
I'm literally gonna cry.

Speaker 2 (14:41):
I can't believe I got there. I had. I had
lots of moments like that during the concert of just
like we I really nearly missed all of this.

Speaker 1 (14:50):
I think I'm legitimately there are tears forming in my eyeballs.
I'm so emotional about it because I also remember, and
it was not that long ago, having a similar moment.
I was at pank and which side note also insane
concert when you're flying around this is amazing, what are
you doing? Get doom, But just standing there and looking

(15:12):
up and I remember just starting to cry and having
this moment of like I really missed this, Like and
it's just those moments of like not even the big
crazy things that happen in life, but just a moment
of being amongst all of these people and being like,
holy crap, like I had.

Speaker 2 (15:31):
I'd had the adverse moments of like experiencing a pain
so great that like it this is so great that
it can't be worth it. And I had that at
the Swift content. I've had it many times since, of
like this is so good that everything is worth it.
That that during enchanted of me, like literally like looking
up and there's all these lights and it's all the

(15:53):
whole standium is purple. I got you one of these, actually,
I forgot to bring it for you. Yeah, Hella Swift's
touched this as well. It's long lived, which.

Speaker 1 (16:00):
Is Taylor fift just touched this.

Speaker 2 (16:01):
Yeah, this was one of the ones on my on
my hands. I had to forgot about it level of course,
of course.

Speaker 1 (16:08):
Oh my gosh, Oliver, Oh my godness, this is Oh
my gosh.

Speaker 2 (16:12):
I was in my room this morning, like which one, Like,
there's like a hundred I had. I had like a
you know, down to my elbows of and I'm like
screwing through.

Speaker 1 (16:20):
If you could look back at Oliver a year ago
and tell him what was about to happen, what would like,
how do you how do you talk to Oliver from
a year ago?

Speaker 2 (16:28):
I wouldn't tell him anything, you know, like he had
to be who he was to experience what he did.
And so yeah, no, I'd never betray my former self
with do this differently, like I you know, I'm.

Speaker 1 (16:41):
Just so thankful that your former self chose to fight
every single day to be here, and not just for
these massive, crazy successful moments, but just for you and
who you are and seeing you develop as just like
you're really coming into yourself and you're finding yourself and
you are finding your place in the world. And the
fact that you had to like, people will never understand

(17:04):
how hard you had to fight to just be okay
with yourself and to be okay in your own company.
And I think that happens a lot of the time
when people see people becoming successful in any area, but
especially online. You see these highlights. But you've been so
incredible as well at being so transparent about kind of
the ups and the downs and showing the whole journey,

(17:24):
and a lot of people can still be like, yeah,
it just kind of snapped and then it was great,
and now he's just lived this perfect life in the case.

Speaker 2 (17:30):
No, I was at Starship right. They locked me away.
They took my shoelacers and the drawer street from my ship.
I was there.

Speaker 1 (17:36):
Oh my god, did that I don't think we did.

Speaker 2 (17:38):
And I went to the and see if you was
that the child family unit.

Speaker 1 (17:42):
Yeah, I hang out with the kids through all the time.
I'd love to go back, but you got back together.

Speaker 2 (17:46):
Yeah, I love to. They had me in the in
the ward where like you're not allowed outside here. Yeah,
it was. It was bad.

Speaker 1 (17:52):
We did not talk about this shike psych Wold experiences.

Speaker 2 (17:57):
How old were you sixteen? I think maybe sixteen or seventeen,
I can't remember I got my tattoos at seventeen. I
can't remember if I had tattoo.

Speaker 1 (18:05):
What was it that legit into the psych Oh.

Speaker 2 (18:08):
It was just like a string of At some point,
your parents, like my parents, just couldn't do anything. We
tried everything, and then I think I had a quasi
attempt or something. I clearly have learned a new word
of said quasi like six times. Yeah, yeah, I think
I had an attempt. And then they just drove me.
It was the most like picturesque, picturesque horror story I

(18:30):
think you've ever seen. Like we drove. I was in
the hospital. I don't remember it because you know, I'm
all drugged. Yeah, absolutely, And then we drove Mum and
Dad will sound the story way worse in a storm
in a van and like a big in a white van.
They drove me from turn on the hospital to Starship
in a white van in Mum's tailing in the in
the ute and there's like through a massive storm. I

(18:51):
don't remember any of it.

Speaker 1 (18:52):
But then you woke up in c if so, do
you remember going into see if.

Speaker 2 (18:56):
You a little bit? I remember the fact I remember
being in there first night and screaming at the top
of my lungs, like like pushing everyone, running away, getting it,
finding the corner of the room, screaming at the top
of my lungs, like yelling at them. Just I was
just psychotic, and then being like the next day being like, man,
I can't believe I'm in here with these crazy people.

(19:18):
And I think about it. I'm like, wait, hold on,
and I'm looking around. I'm like, man, these guys are
these guys are crazy and it and I'm like, hold on,
I'm here too, like no shoelacers.

Speaker 1 (19:27):
The lacers. Honestly, I remember my first ever time getting
admitted to the psych ward and it was like two
o'clock in the morning when I got put in, and
so I was like taking through a back entrance and
I literally remember being like I'm in jail, like shoelacers gone,
hoot eastring gone, everything, phone charger gone. And I also
went into the high ka, which is like the one
on one like someone's looking at you all the time,

(19:48):
and I remember line for your drugs. Yes, everyone's like
but also just like like it was a good place
for me to be in regards to like stabilizing me.
But it's a wild experience.

Speaker 2 (20:02):
Yeah, you know, I I it needs more sunlight.

Speaker 1 (20:06):
Aren't you so glad that you weren't active on social
media as much when you were there? Like goodness, I'm
just so thankful crashed out.

Speaker 2 (20:13):
You know what was then? When I was there though,
Pokemon Go. So Pokemon Go was just there and there
was a remember the gym, you'd like fight at the gym.
There was a gym just outside and so I was
in the corner like reach trying to get that, trying
to get jiggly path or whatever or.

Speaker 1 (20:28):
Like, did you play the volleyball outside with the you know,
they didn't.

Speaker 2 (20:31):
I don't think they let me. Oh no, they did
let me over there. And there was a drum set
and I was on the drum set.

Speaker 1 (20:35):
Oh yes, the drum set is still there.

Speaker 2 (20:36):
Yes, yeah, and it was beat to shirt and I
I think I know it was fun. Yeah. They let
me through the doors to the other to the other side.

Speaker 1 (20:44):
Could you imagine little all of us sitting in there
in their site called like knowing the life that you
were about to have, like not just like I often
think about this with myself and like those moments of
being like nothing's gonna change this as who I am
like and when you I don't think people understand when

(21:05):
you live a life genuinely believing you are going to
die young. Like everything else that comes after that is
it feels unreal. Like you had your next birthday and
you're like, I wasn't supposed to be here.

Speaker 2 (21:18):
Yeah, we were working on borrow time, and that's beautiful.
I'm happy to I.

Speaker 1 (21:22):
Mean when I just start paying bills and I was like,
I wasn't planning on being here.

Speaker 2 (21:25):
How lucky to be able to pay bills? What an
incredible thing to be able to experience.

Speaker 1 (21:36):
You've been able to just do so many freaking things,
And obviously t Swift was one. You went to the
UK and then you you're this triangle thing blew up
and I was so confused for so long as to
what was going on. But I was like, it's me,
and then it's her name Aar and then Yuval and

(21:58):
just triangle and then suddenly you're the nixt version of
Bridges and what happened? Do you even know?

Speaker 2 (22:05):
It was ridiculous? Yeah, No, he really found my house
by the way, he'd like, he did send those flowers
to my house. Talking is not okaycourage that I met
im on on this Audible shoot and we got along
really well. I think about that a lot actually, Like
on that Audible shoot, Aarme and Brittany and were the

(22:27):
first two friends I made in the industry through a job.
Like I can't believe. I mean, two of the most
incredible women you've ever come across, really and I get
to call them friends? What a what a blessing? But yeah,
I met Im through this thing and she had a
thing going on with u vaile some online where they
would he would find her or whatever, and she made

(22:49):
some videos with me and then they brought me and
it was you know, it was fun at the start.
It really was fun and it was good. It just
it got ridiculous, Like it was very I'm quoted in
Time magazine. Wow, Like there's an article and I have
a quote in Time. What do we do it? Like?
That was ridiculous, but I had it was very like
I had no idea what was God was very like,

(23:10):
I mean all of my content, I just opened my
phone and pressed play. There's nothing planned. And that was
the Bridgeton speech. It was just like, was.

Speaker 1 (23:16):
It not planned?

Speaker 2 (23:17):
No, of course not.

Speaker 1 (23:17):
Oh my goodness. Actually that doesn't surprise me at all,
no speak.

Speaker 2 (23:21):
And I'm leaning into it to be ridiculous because like
ridiculous is fun. But then it just got they got
a bit the best thing out of it. Like I
feel so blessed to have been a part of that.
They raised our man, you've all raised somewhere near half
a million dollars for Palestinian families.

Speaker 1 (23:38):
It's incredible, Like what a you know.

Speaker 2 (23:41):
So like I can't believe I was lucky enough to
be a part of that.

Speaker 1 (23:45):
Was it ed all hard on your mental health? Having
this sudden yeah, of course, like everyone watching, Yeah, yeah,
I find I find the notoriety of whatever we do
quite unbearable. Yeah, yeah, it's weird, right, It's weird because
it then starts to translate into the real world, like
when it's online and then you start to go out

(24:06):
and you get stopped all the time and you're like, wait,
people actually know me.

Speaker 2 (24:11):
I like when people come up to me. I prefer
I have a lot of like problems with self hate,
and so when people are like pointing and steering and
like taking photos from a distance, you can you can
tell like you like, we know, we know what's happening.

Speaker 1 (24:28):
We can see it.

Speaker 2 (24:29):
Yeah, that freaks me out because in my head I'm thinking,
like they just thinking, look at that loser tech talk
doc over there with his stupid shoes, you.

Speaker 1 (24:39):
Know, and me now ye yeah, those of you who
can't see that's where wearing the same shoes, just different fonts, and.

Speaker 2 (24:45):
It's dumb haircut like where do you get their hair
at the toilet stool? And I'm just in my head
like they hate me, this goob from Meet the Robinson's,
like they all hated me.

Speaker 1 (24:54):
Where does the self hate come from?

Speaker 2 (24:55):
I don't know, I really don't. I have no problems
with self esteem, like a my self worth is non existent,
but self esteem no problem. Like I can be ridiculous
and sing online clearly, but when it comes down to it,
like I struggle to I don't know. I think I
know all the things wrong with me, and they're the

(25:16):
loudest in my head. Yeah, but I've been doing a
lot recently to I mean, attempt to see myself from
someone else's shoes. I'm quite like, you know, I'm quite nice,
quite kind. Yeah you are from there?

Speaker 1 (25:34):
Yeah you do really like the amount of time that
you need to be able to sit and understand the
person you might. But I also understand, like when you've
had the life that you have had, like the self worth,
the self worth and the like being able to just
be out there and be extravertied and be yourself Like,
I understand that dynamic and it's so confusing. And I
think being in the world that you are now, where

(25:55):
you have people every single day being like I love you,
but you know that they don't actually know you personally,
and I think that can then impact it more because
you're like, well, you don't actually know me, and you're
hearing millions of people be like I love you, And
I think that can also really affect your self worth
because people are seeing a version of you. And I
know that's something that I struggle with a lot, is

(26:17):
feeling like I was hearing I love you more from
random people around the world than people in my life.
That the self worth can struggle in that environment. Have
you found it more or less as your kind of
profile has grown? The self worth?

Speaker 2 (26:36):
Yeah, not real, Like I really at the moment, what
I'm really doing is just I really am just a
boy trying to enjoy himself and I do that non apologetically, right.

Speaker 1 (26:56):
Now tell me that the top three things that you
love about yourself.

Speaker 2 (26:59):
Oh God, I'm really funny. I'm really funny. I am kind,
I am kind, and I do love unapologetically and I'll
never stop. It's not love bombing when I actually love
you and I do love you.

Speaker 1 (27:19):
There is definitely a line between love bombing and love.
So I'm I'm clarified.

Speaker 2 (27:23):
I don't do it though, I mean it. I really do. Okay,
I really do.

Speaker 1 (27:28):
Yeah, I mean you do. And and I ask you
that because I also think that that's the kind of
thing that's important to remember when, especially when you're talking
about trying to see yourself from other people and how
other people experience you and interact with you and in
your presence. Like every time I've been around you, I'm like,
this guy is awesome. Like you're so fun you're so kind.
When you came over to get the phone, and you're

(27:49):
just sitting on the floor with my dog, like she
loves you, by the way, she's we've got another one now.

Speaker 2 (27:53):
Animals. Animals love me. That's my thing recently. Actually, it's like,
uh yeah, when you're pad a dog and walk off.

Speaker 1 (28:01):
Highly recommend just standing in a dog park and then
they all come to you and you're like, drink. This
is the best thing.

Speaker 2 (28:06):
I live at the mountain. The beach is just riddled
with dogs.

Speaker 1 (28:08):
I love them out. It's such a beautiful place, my favorite.
What are the things that you do for yourself when
you are struggling mentally? I do you like going out,
being at the beach, being in nature? Do you sit
by yourself? Do you I know, you listen to a
lot of music. You sing because you can sing, I.

Speaker 2 (28:24):
Think at the moment, like it's less so like one
particular thing. It used to be like, you know, I
need to exercise or I need to do this, but
I just I just take great care with being really
kind to myself, like the whole thing of you know,
when you get really bad and then you have to
celebrate brushing your teeth. Yeah, really truly celebrate that. And

(28:45):
I just do that, you know, I really do that.
If I have two days pray, do nothing but scroll
and taketok, Hey, that's fine. Like it's one great long
life and falling to the wayside for the period is
just not as big of a drama as you're going
to try and make it out to be.

Speaker 1 (29:04):
Well, also being in a world where everything that you're
seeing is like all those videos are like here's my
five to nine before my nine to five, and being like, oh,
I didn't wake up at four am. Therefore I'm so unproductive.

Speaker 2 (29:15):
So that stuff doesn't work for me.

Speaker 1 (29:17):
No neither.

Speaker 2 (29:18):
Yeah, Well, like I you know, I had a month
where I was going a bit at like two and
that's what I needed at the time, and I have
no problem with that. And then I had sometimes where
I'm like incredibly introverted and I and you know, the
people around me respect that and understand. They're like, he's
just doing this thing. But then I have times where
I'm like I want to see a lot of people. Now,
I just I'm just that's my thing at the moment.
Like for my mental health, it's I just notice myself

(29:41):
as someone going through the world really giving it there all,
Like I really, I really believe that, like everyone is
trying their hardest all the time, and be kind to
yourself about that. You know. It's so I used to
so much like I should be doing this, and then
all of the stress was like I'm doing not doing
the things that I want. But I'm you know, I'm existing.

Speaker 1 (30:04):
Which is so freaking important to everyone who's listening to this,
who also is flooded on TikTok with this, like feeling
like you're not doing enough and you're not enough and
oh should I should be doing all these things? Like
if all that you did is brush your teeth, like
that's it's it's your existence.

Speaker 2 (30:19):
Yeah, you take that at your own pace.

Speaker 1 (30:21):
Yeah, well, what else do you think in the last
year since we last spoke, What else has changed in
your life?

Speaker 2 (30:28):
My relationship with my parents has never been better.

Speaker 1 (30:31):
Oh I love that.

Speaker 2 (30:32):
Yeah that'll that'll kill me. Hold on, Yeah, now I
moved home. I moved home for Christmas too, because I
was just like our flat disbanded. I didn't really know
where to go, and I was like, I'll go home
for Christmas and then we'll see I haven't left. And yeah.
The biggest thing with that is like they really seem
to appreciate what I am and I've never really felt

(30:55):
that because I've been so lost forever and maybe this
is the first time in a long time I haven't
truly felt lost, And so, yeah, mate, my relationship with
my parents, both individually and then as a as a unit,
has never been better and that oh my god, that.

Speaker 1 (31:12):
It's really beautiful. Has it been like literally moving home
is what's done?

Speaker 2 (31:17):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think I think we we have
like a greater respect for each other. I just love
them dearly. And they're really good, you know, they're just
they're just they're actually just good people. And yeah, that's.

Speaker 1 (31:32):
So sweet and such, like it's such a huge thing.
And to have that, especially in the career that you
have and to be such a public life and to
just have that stability and to feel understood and I
mean the gravity of what you just said of feel
like feeling the way that you do now and that
you've never felt like that before is huge. And it
is also like so testament to you and you kind

(31:56):
of choosing to go back home and obviously like then
choosing to stay and all of that, Like, especially when
you are an adult, I feel like there's so much
stigma attached to that as well of like having to
go back home for a bit. It's all good.

Speaker 2 (32:08):
Yeah, it's I think we all understand that it's an
in between, but it's more that like they just have me.
Like the people in my life that I call family
of friends that have had they just have me, like
my unit is unseparable, and they all know I require
a bit of care, like a bit, a bit more
of a gentle, delicate care, and they offer that like

(32:29):
tough love doesn't work on at all. You know, I'll disappear,
You'll never hear from me again, tough love and I've
lost I've lost relationships because of because of the fact
that I require a greater level of care. And at
the time that's tragic and like it has been so devastating,
but I need to look after me in the way
that works for me. And yeah, how do you.

Speaker 1 (32:51):
Think other people, like in your unit specifically, that have
stuck around this whole time, how do they view you?

Speaker 2 (32:57):
Ridiculous? I'm ridiculous. I'm ridiculous, Like I have no plans
ever for anything. I'm cow polk. I float with the wind.
I wouldn't have it any other way. I don't. I
don't make plans for anything. I can't. It's it's stressful
some things, obviously, you know.

Speaker 1 (33:15):
But when you look at your self worth and the
things that you believe about yourself, and then you realize
that these people have stuck around for good reason. Why
have they stuck around.

Speaker 2 (33:25):
They have to, you know, we don't have to. I'll
show up on their doorsteps. No, it's my visterer. And Flynn,
he's not a friend, he's you know, he's family. And
he was saying that the other day. He's like, I've
been around too long, Like there's really nothing that we
could do that would separate. But yeah, it's they have

(33:47):
a patience with me that I am just very grateful for.

Speaker 1 (33:50):
How important have those relationships been within your mental health journey?

Speaker 2 (33:53):
What's everything to me? No, I am only alive because
of the people around me. Really, you'll you'll throw that
back on me and say like, no, it's you, and
I understand.

Speaker 1 (34:04):
No, no, no, I can. I can absolutely understand. Those people
are important forever.

Speaker 2 (34:09):
I just thought that, like you know, happiness or like
peace was something like entirely internal and it's just such
a it's wrong, like it's such a we cannot separate
ourselves from the greater unit. And I think figuring out
your place and that is what you need to do.

Speaker 1 (34:30):
It's so huge. And I know that you said that.
I'll just throw it back at you what you just said,
but I'm not going to because one thing that I noticed,
I do a lot of I get to do a
lot of travel, and I'm so lucky to do that.
And amongst that travel, I've ended up in a lot
of like very deep out villages and like Cambodia or Africa.
And what's been really striking to me is that these

(34:52):
people who have absolutely nothing are the happiest people I've
ever met. And that's because their entire life is operating
on this family. Like everyone, it's about people. You know,
your neighbors. If someone sudden happens to someone's parents, the
whole village takes them in, whereas here in the Western
world we don't even know our neighbors half the time.

Speaker 2 (35:13):
Since it's unbearable there's too much going on all the time.

Speaker 1 (35:15):
Yeah, but it's also become so like based on things,
and we're not happy if we don't have the certain things,
and we've taken away that kind of the need for
human connection, which is for me when I go to
these places, I'm like, these people are happier than we
ever will be, Like they know pure joy because they're
not comparing anything to anyone else. All they know is

(35:36):
that they love hard, and they are so loved by
every single person around them. Yeah, but how like to
be able to take that kind of concept and bring
it into our lives and like understand the importance of
friendships and community and connection, and it is something that
when you're struggling like you were and probably at times
still are, Like mental health is a nonlinear journey.

Speaker 2 (36:00):
That was my move. Yeah me too, yeah, my my,
what do you call it? Trauma? Response was I would
just isolate and you know, disappear as much as I can.
And that has its place, certainly, But you need someone
to go to. You need because you have to say
things to people. I find talk therapy like unbelievably helpful.

(36:23):
Some people don't.

Speaker 1 (36:24):
Are you still in therapy now?

Speaker 2 (36:26):
Yeah? I pop in it out. I have the same
therapist as I've had since I was sixteen. God, when
I was sixteen, like starting therapy, I ran through them.
I just obliterated therapists and psychologists and psychiatrists. You know.
They kicked me out of cams like you know we
had Oh my.

Speaker 1 (36:43):
Gosh, we got kicked out of cams. That's hard to do.

Speaker 2 (36:46):
I didn't respect them, I hated them. They were reading
from a book, you know, and I can't have a
conversation with a textbook or an idea. And then I
sat down with my therapist in a and I think
within five minutes I've been through like seven at this point.
Within five minutes he swore and I said up. I
was like, oh, you might be a real person. And

(37:09):
then later on, like ten minutes later, he called. He
was like, don't bullshit me. And he called me out
because I was taking a pass, you know, and I
was like, oh, hold on, and he was a you know,
he he he was a forklift driver, was his Wow,
you know who came into counseling and.

Speaker 1 (37:24):
Finding the right therapist is so important. I literally feel
like I've only just found the right one be with
her for a few years now.

Speaker 2 (37:31):
That's the problem. It's so hard to attempt to go
and find one, and people get so put off when
it doesn't work immediately because it doesn't a lot of
the time, you keep pushing. It's a person like, you
have to find the person that gets you. A lot
of them don't know, a lot of them don't. But man,
when you find that one, yeah, unbelievable.

Speaker 1 (37:50):
And it's so like, obviously every therapist is so different,
and some people really like the like and how does
it make you feel like the real soft thing. I
can't do it. I can't soft like it.

Speaker 2 (38:00):
He grabs me and it's like, let's sit in there. Yes,
I'm like tough life, and I stare at it and
like look at the minutes or it's very intense.

Speaker 1 (38:07):
Yeah. My therapist a while ago, I've been doing a
lot of trauma therapy, which is so fun and it's
been a wild time. But I remember her saying a
while ago, like I every time that the emotions would
come up, I would turn away from her and do
everything I could to not feel it. And she was like, Jazz,
you have this tendency to block anything that's related to sadness.

(38:30):
And I was like, no, I don't, and she was like, no,
you do. There's something that's so like you're so afraid
of it. And we began to realize that for me,
growing up the way that I did, and especially the
mental health journey that I was on, sadness was so
intricately linked with not wanting to be here that I
was so afraid that if I felt emotion of sadness,
I would not be able to get out of it,

(38:50):
and it would like overtake me and four me. To
then have someone who would sit there, I would lose it.
I would bore my eyes out. You would just sit
with me, and then I would be fine and she
would be.

Speaker 3 (39:03):
Like we're still here, Like you're okay, You're gonna be okay.

Speaker 1 (39:07):
And it made so much sense when I realized that
I had been doing that and blocking it because for
so long it meant crisis for me, Like for so
long if I felt these things, I'm not getting out
of it. I'm running to the nearest something.

Speaker 3 (39:19):
And like so when something like no, I know all
too well, like edit, Yeah, it's a weird thing to
then kind of grow up and mature and be able
to recognize those trauma responses that you have and finding
a therapist who can understand that.

Speaker 1 (39:37):
Is so important. How old were you when you met
your therapists?

Speaker 2 (39:40):
Sixteen or seventeen. We really tried everything, like we were
going as spiritual healers. Towards the end, Mum was like,
let's just do whatever anyone, you know, like throwing stuff
at the wall.

Speaker 1 (39:51):
At this point, I mean you kind of have to eigh.

Speaker 2 (39:53):
We ran out of you know, It's like at some point,
maybe the guy with magic hands that you know, all,
maybe he will help and he did. Yeah, and he
did a little bit.

Speaker 1 (40:04):
Well you literally we had someone a phenomenal Maulti girl
who went through a spiritual healer and worked for her.
And I was like, this is amazing. Depending on who
you are as a person and kind of the things
that something that works for me is not going to
work for you, and vice versa, and so finding that
person that you can click with, and the therapist like
for you to be able to like find that person

(40:24):
who will just bring you and be like, I'm calling
you on your bullshit. Isn't it so good to find
that person?

Speaker 2 (40:29):
Your healing journey is your own, and you have to
stick around long enough to find out what works for
you because something.

Speaker 1 (40:37):
Really well, Oliver, you would have never said that last year.

Speaker 2 (40:42):
No, of course not. No, maybe I won't say it
next year. What's how we go? No?

Speaker 1 (40:45):
You will? You will because you've experienced now. And I'm
not talking about again, like I need to make it
so abundantly clear, I'm not talking about like career excess success, sorry,
but the moments that you've had, like at the at
the Taylor Swift concert, not getting the hat, but the
moment of looking up and being like, oh my gosh,
like I'm here. Like, because you've experienced those moments, you'll

(41:08):
know what that is the next time that life depths,
because life does, you will know what it is that
you're aiming towards getting back to you and you will
know that that's what hope is, because last time you
didn't know what hope was, it wasn't just very lost. Yeah, well,
what do you think hope is to you now?

Speaker 2 (41:26):
I think it's just like a faith like belief that
it will get better like it is. And I say
faith not in a religious way, but in a way
that's like when you get that bad that you like
lose hope, it's you have to just really believe that
it will get better. And it's so impossible to see

(41:47):
when you're that bad.

Speaker 1 (41:48):
If you could be in the same room as little
sixteen year old Oliver, you could be in that high
care psych wood sitting opposite him, what would you say
to him?

Speaker 2 (42:02):
Yeah, just listen.

Speaker 1 (42:04):
What do you think he would say?

Speaker 2 (42:06):
He'd probably screamed for like twenty minutes and then and
then he just say I'm tired and it hurts. Yeah,
and that's okay?

Speaker 1 (42:15):
Was it? A. I don't know if you ever found
out or not, Like with with your depression and the
stuff that you were dealing with, was it it like
a chemical thing for you or was it situational because
obviously it came from like started, I guess from the
breakup that you had was something that had been there beforehand.

Speaker 2 (42:29):
I'm not sure it's bad enough that like it must
be chemical, yeah, just because it was. You know, it's
so ridiculous. I have I have a good life really
on paper, like, yeah, a very good life, but I
have a brain that attacks itself yeah, and quite aggressively.

Speaker 1 (42:46):
And so yeah, what's so interesting is that with a
brain like yours and like mine as well, I mean
not mine came from a lot of trauma stuff as well,
and these beliefs that kind of develops with me. But
also the way that your brain functions and does go
into these really lows is also the exact same brain
that has this wild creativity and these beautiful moments and
can see things that other people can't see, and like

(43:08):
carries this lightness and this kindness that you have, Like
I know that for me. So I've got ADHD and no,
what I know, shut up, do you have ADHD.

Speaker 2 (43:23):
Who knows, I've got a whole bunch of stuff.

Speaker 1 (43:25):
You should get tested.

Speaker 2 (43:27):
I can find out on TikTok, now, can't you? You just
like that?

Speaker 1 (43:30):
I mean, that's legitimately how I found out.

Speaker 2 (43:32):
If you see hashtag ADHD on TikTok means you have.
But I think that's how it works, right.

Speaker 1 (43:35):
They probably would go a little bit further to say
you should talk to someone. I started seeing these videos
and was like this. I just thought this is who
I was like as a person, like this is just me,
And I was like, no, this is a disorder. And
but the thing is right, my HD brain that like
I struggle to do so many normal everyday things, is

(43:56):
the same brain that my impulsivity is what has broke
through most of my career and has allowed me to
do so much of the things. And there was a
thing that I saw or some psychologist says that people
with ADHD don't just think outside the box, they create
an entire new one. And without saying you have ADHD,
I feel like you are that person as well, who

(44:17):
has this wildly creative brain that you don't just think
outside of the box like you do create an entire
new thing, and I love like you post so unapology, unapologetically,
like twelve million times a day sometimes and then not
at all other times. When I first met you, you
were posting like six even eight times a day.

Speaker 2 (44:38):
It was a lot. Yeah, it was just like whok is.

Speaker 1 (44:40):
Because your brain was just going and you were like, post, post,
post post.

Speaker 2 (44:43):
It's fun. I find it. I do what I feel
like I should do at the time.

Speaker 1 (44:47):
Do you feel like you have Do you have gratitude
for your the way that your brain works in that?

Speaker 2 (44:51):
Oh? Yeah, My ability to improv is for my ability
to what's it called when you bring things on to
yourself manifest Yeah, my my skills. I went to the
Travis Kelcey's School of Manifestation. Like, I'm right up there
like everything. I really do believe that everything happens exactly

(45:11):
when it's supposed to.

Speaker 1 (45:16):
What do you think of the first signs for you
that you need to take moments for yourself? What starts
happening in your world that you're like, oh, Oliver, I
just I do it.

Speaker 2 (45:26):
I intrinsically, I act. I act out what I need.
Most of the time. I find myself acting out what
I need most of the time. Yeah, so I'll just start.
It's it's more the mental shift of accepting that because
before I would I realized now that like, that's what
I need if I'm doing nothing, if I'm scoring on

(45:46):
tiktalk for days at a time, that's what I need
for me.

Speaker 1 (45:49):
Right now, that's your screen time on TikTok before.

Speaker 2 (45:51):
Do you want to know it?

Speaker 1 (45:52):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (45:53):
Really?

Speaker 1 (45:53):
Yeah? Right now? Cheerfull them up? Okay, hang on, Oliver's
Oliver's going to get his phone because we need to
find out from two people that spend their lives on
TikTok what our what our screen time is a way
that I'm nervous, don't understand this is a very important
information that we must find I'm actually kind of nervous,

(46:14):
to be honest. Who do you think's gonna have higher?

Speaker 2 (46:16):
My last week's OAT of screen time was fourteen hours
and thirty minutes.

Speaker 1 (46:18):
That's not terrible. No, mine was ten hours and thirty
eight Yeah.

Speaker 2 (46:23):
But that doesn't make any total total screen time of
one hundred and one hours?

Speaker 1 (46:26):
And wait last week? Hang on, how do I let
me go to the week before? Oh?

Speaker 2 (46:33):
What was the week before? Is this daily average?

Speaker 1 (46:37):
My week before.

Speaker 2 (46:40):
More than fourteen and a half hours.

Speaker 1 (46:42):
Thirty three hours, thirty three hours.

Speaker 2 (46:47):
Talking about Oh that's total screen time, babe, I'm blowing that.

Speaker 1 (46:50):
Oh okay, we're just talking about TikTok. We're just.

Speaker 2 (46:55):
I'm different all of that. I'm like done one of
the My god, let's got brain rot for brain rock.

Speaker 1 (47:02):
Can I can I read your time out of your
total screen time? Oliver's total screen time last week? One
hundred and one hours even one hundred and one hours
and a week.

Speaker 2 (47:12):
Oh, let's find out two four six.

Speaker 1 (47:16):
That's like you've spent almost four consecutive days. I am
this is the life of people who live their lives online.
That's that's that's impressive. I'm really Oh you still want
the same phone cases when I gave you the phone?
Of course please it gave me this phone that's really cute.

Speaker 2 (47:34):
Until the end of time, I will vanquish your enemies
and come what you call like, I really am here.

Speaker 1 (47:42):
Oh my gosh, this is Taylor Swift. You look like
you're worshiping Taylor Swift.

Speaker 2 (47:47):
Yeah, I mean she is to be worshiped.

Speaker 1 (47:50):
I still cannot I feel I'm now one degree away
from Taylor sworft By that's my girl, that's honestly, and
being in those moments, Like the only thing I can
ever even slightly related to is when I was in
Vegas and got to go backstage with Lady Gaga and
was just, Oh, what did I tell you this? I
hung out with her. I'll throw up so oh my gosh.

(48:11):
So I worked with her mum for a while and
I was going to Vegas with my friend and she
Gaga's my message and was like, Hey, do you want
to come backstage? It's her final jazz concert that she
was doing her residency in Vegas, and so we were
like yeah. So we go backstage thinking that we would
like maybe get to like see her quickly, like take
a photo with Gaga. If thatt no, we could give

(48:31):
it a family wristband. We go into this little family room.
There's like four of us in there, and Gaga comes
in before the show and she's chilling in there for
like an hour. She's got a track set on, She's
sitting there talking to me about mental health and like
all the stuff that we do. She's so I was
just like in awe, And then I was like, I
can't ask for a photo that this is such an
inappropriate time to ask for a photo, but I do have,

(48:53):
like there's like this sneaky like little thing that I
took on my phone just to prove I was there,
because no one's gonna believe me when I'm like I
was backstage with it.

Speaker 2 (49:00):
Have to believe you. You know what you're life.

Speaker 1 (49:02):
It's such an insane moment.

Speaker 2 (49:03):
That'sulady Gaga's belief. I love her and she's yeah, she's
the she is one of the queens. Yeah, like she
really paved the way and.

Speaker 1 (49:12):
She's so she's so genuine, Like I was at an
event the night before. I won't know her, but as
another aid list SLIBS event who's also quite quite bigger
mental health and just it was quite a striking contrast
between someone that looked like they were possibly how do
I say this, like tick a box kind of thing,

(49:34):
like this is social responsibility to probably do this, whereas
Gaga was so human genuinely invested and like wanted to
create change and wanted to like see what we could do,
and like before her concert she does this like preer
circle side stage, she invited us down like holding hands
with her and this bloody praer circle I'm like, what

(49:54):
is this is crazy?

Speaker 2 (49:56):
It's Gaga and like Chapel Rome.

Speaker 1 (49:58):
Yeah, those type people.

Speaker 2 (50:00):
I love Chaperone so much. They make me feel encouraged
to indulge in ridiculous and I just adore that. I
just find that just to be so wonderful because it's good.
We don't have a lot of that New Zealand. We
don't have there's no characters in New Zealand to like
model like you know, anything off.

Speaker 1 (50:17):
Have you experienced tool poppy syndrome of New Zealand, Yeah,
of course I have.

Speaker 2 (50:22):
It's weird island nation. It's going to happen, you know,
it's it's going to happen.

Speaker 1 (50:26):
It's a weird it's a really weird thing. For those
of you who aren't from New Zealand, we're obviously so
far away from the world and there's a thing called
tool Poppy syndrome, which is basically like no one is
allowed to rise above the rest, and so if anyone
has seen to be succeeded in any kind of way,
New Zealand kind of tends to cut them down quite fast.
And it's really weird. When you then go to America,
like I got so used when people would ask me

(50:47):
what I did, or like, I love America what I do,
and I would just be like, I work in mental health.
And then my friend Nix, who like she just wanted
dancing with the stars, and I was like.

Speaker 2 (50:56):
King about I walk your shitsness.

Speaker 1 (51:00):
I'm learning to us Americans.

Speaker 2 (51:04):
I love them, I love I love I love Americans.
I find them so wonderfully optimistic. Their optimism comes with
delusions of grande. But I will take it. I will
take the delusion if it means the optimism truly, I will. Yeah.
I Bobby they they they they like Trojan Horse Tour

(51:27):
Bobby in with under the guise of humility. Hey me humble,
Hey man, I'm I'm winning though. Yeah, Like I'm up
right now, like rather than like trying to make me humble,
come up here with me, dude. It's great.

Speaker 1 (51:41):
And you also not with people like us? What's keeping
us the most humble our own damn brains? Like, trust
me when I say we don't need to be.

Speaker 2 (51:49):
I hate me more than you ever could, sir, So
I'll stop you right there.

Speaker 1 (51:52):
It's not gonna Yeah, what does the next year look
like for you?

Speaker 2 (51:56):
Ridiculous? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (51:58):
Can you tell us anything.

Speaker 2 (51:59):
I need a Ariana Grande. That's my it's my day.
One that'll happen.

Speaker 1 (52:05):
I love this for you.

Speaker 2 (52:06):
No, whatever, what is the next year? Look like I
might do a show. I think I'm going to do
a show. I had plans to do a show called
The Olive Show.

Speaker 1 (52:13):
Yes, I saw this, but to do this, yeah, I
just felt there.

Speaker 2 (52:16):
It just wasn't ready and I had a bunch of
stuff move around in my life that I wasn't ready for.
And so yeah, I think I will. I think I
will do that, but I might move overseas for that.
I might move somewhere to do that, or you know,
or maybe sell the show to something. It's quite it's
quite hard. Yes, it was just me, like I have
it set up in my garage where I was going

(52:39):
to do it. But you know, I found quite quickly
I was lacking a lot of the skill required. Yes,
I mean like we have producers out there that know
how hard it is to create anything, yeah, and also.

Speaker 1 (52:52):
Creatives.

Speaker 2 (52:53):
Yeah, and I was like, I'll just do that, and
I was like, no, I have no idea what I'm doing,
so but no, that'll that'll happen. I just need to
figure out what it is.

Speaker 1 (53:00):
Can you get around with other creatives and they help
you figure it out?

Speaker 2 (53:03):
Yeah, no exactly, but otherwise, like I really am just
where I'm supposed to be, exactly where I'm supposed to
be there, I'm just I'm just pottering.

Speaker 1 (53:12):
And I have already asked you kind of what I
always do. Is the last last question in regards to
what Hope means to you, So I'm not going to
make you answer that again, but I would love you
to give advice to any person that is listening to
this or watching this, whatever platform they may be doing. So,
people that are struggling with their own minds, that feel outcasts,
that feel like there is no hope for them, that

(53:35):
feel like you did in that ward and like you
did last year, what would you say to them?

Speaker 2 (53:42):
It's dreadful. You just have to hold on, you really do.
Just have to hold on. There will come a day
soon where you won't recognize the pain you feel now,
and that is worth all of the strife. Just get
there and then we'll be good.

Speaker 1 (54:03):
I love that, love you, I love you. Thank you
so much for coming up and for doing another episode.
Another season of Hope is real. Honestly, it's been yes,
come we actually, of course we need to. There's so
much that happens in your life in a year, like
it's so it's so wild seeing it unfold, and I
am so like, I know that you obviously have achieved

(54:23):
so much in the last year, but just for who
you are, Like, I'm so freaking proud of you. You
fought so hard, harder than most people will comprehend to
have the life that you have, to be able to
be in the situations that you are, to be able
to face the things that you do. It hasn't been
easy for you. And you have freaking, like tooth and nail,
fought this shizz and you have done it, and you're

(54:46):
here and you have more optimism, you have more hope.
You're not the same person that was sitting here a
year ago, and that's just testament to your freaking hard
work and the people around you and the people you've
surrounded yourself with. But you did that, all of it.
You did it. Oh my gosh, thank you so much
for coming, happy to be here always well there you

(55:06):
have it, guys, thank you so much for staying and
for listening to this episode. And like I've said, at
the beginning, and I always say, if anything in this
episode that's been talked about has brought anything up for
you, you feel like you need to talk to someone, then
please remember and know that the bravest thing that you
can do right now is to talk to someone, is
to ask for help, whether that's from a friend, a

(55:28):
family member, or if you don't know who to talk to,
then if you live in Alta Doola here you can
call or text one seven three seven at any time
to talk to a trained counselor. Or if you live overseas,
go to dub dub dub dot the Voices of Hope
dot org for a list of international helplines. Remember that
no matter what it is that you're facing, no matter
what it is that you're going through, that in all things,

(55:50):
hope is real and change is possible. I'll see you
guys next week.