August 26, 2024 • 10 mins
After a intense discussion in our Dear Megan segment, we had more questions and decided to consult with a reproductive lawyer to get the rundown!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This jonaman Being podcast brought to you by Hello Fresh.
The experts and Tastes that Kiwi's Law. Emotional scenes are
the Warriors on Friday night to the last home game
for Shawn Johnson, very very teary.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
It was when he walked out with his wonderful wife
Kayla and their children and started tearing up. I imagine
that would have been a big wave of emotion for him.
Totally stupid comment, John, Obviously it was, but and it's
hard to probably regather yourself from that moment then start
tackling mofos.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
Yeah, play a rugby league game, but yeah, really really sad.
It was a great scend off. You're right, Tam.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Meghan, Now someone's slid in to Meghan's TMS again worth
a very well juicy dilemma.
Speaker 4 (00:40):
I guess in some ways they're like insensitive, which they
address it sears. Hey, John, have Ben and Meghan. This
is a sensitive topic and involves my best friend. Long
story short, my friend and our ex husband were trying
to have a baby and they froze embryos during their
time together. They broke up and therefore didn't use them.
(01:01):
Fast forward and my friend ended up using one of
the embryos herself with the permission from her ex. As
long as she agreed, she raised the child herself. He
didn't want to be involved, But now the child is
too and she is asking for child support. I'm support
of her that he was very clear that he would
give her the gift of a child, but didn't want
(01:22):
to be involved. That included giving the child support. She
keeps asking me for my opinion and what she should do.
But I can't help but feel like she trapped him
a wee bit and it isn't really fair. But then again,
he is the father. Should he pay? Am I a
bad friend for feeling like this?
Speaker 2 (01:40):
My first instinct is they had an arrangement. He has
no obligation to pay. But then I've watched a lot
of judges duty over my years. She would say, take
the emotion out of it.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
What was the deal?
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Was it written down?
Speaker 4 (01:53):
Was it written?
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Was it contractual? Because then but if it was just
he said, she said, then arguably the eyes of the
law's he's got an obligation.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Yeah, you're right, it does feel like exactly what you said.
I don't need to repeat exactly.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
You're on my team. I am, actually Yeah, like that
does feel like it was the agreement.
Speaker 4 (02:13):
But did they did they get a contract, an actual
agreement drawn up?
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Well, that hasn't been mentioned, which would need you to
believe no, But is the.
Speaker 4 (02:22):
Verbal agreement enough in the eyes of the law in
this situation?
Speaker 3 (02:27):
Does he have some sort of obligation? You know, and
someone will not well.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
You would as even a bit yeah, because are you first, four, ten,
fifteen years in this situation and the child's growing up?
What do you do then, because this person might still
be in and around, Yeah, the house, and do you
like it gets messy? It does get very messy. But
the question we're asking is is he obligated to pay
(02:50):
child support off the back of this arrangement?
Speaker 3 (02:53):
I'd love to know what he has his thoughts changed
towards it.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
You know, has he met the child, does he feel
like maybe yeah, part of their life move.
Speaker 4 (03:01):
On from the friend obviously, Well, it sounds like they're
not at all in any kind of relationship.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
It reminds me of when I'm walking through Westfield More
and they're like, hey, sir, would you like to sign
up direct debit to save the starving chinchillas of Bolivia?
I'm like, yeah, okay, I'll help them, and then I
canceled the direct debbit a couple of months later. But
then they come knocking three years later and they're like
that chinchilla you helped save starving to death now wants
a house pay.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
Up just like that, right, questioning that example, No part
of me.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
You got lost your example lot doing that example.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
When you started. Okay, so what okay, what do we
want to know here, Meghan?
Speaker 4 (03:46):
What will the friend wants to know? Is she a
bad friend?
Speaker 3 (03:48):
Fulfilling like that?
Speaker 4 (03:49):
Should the father technically should he be paying? I guess
what is the legalities around that too?
Speaker 3 (03:55):
If you lawyer, and.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
So your friend probably wants to know she should say
something to her mate and so how you should back
asking for child support page.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
The hits that johnaan Ben podcast.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
We're in the middle of today's dem Megan, which has
got to do with the child support and an agreement.
We don't know how rock solid the agreement was, but
just a recap, Megan.
Speaker 4 (04:13):
So this is a friend messaging in about her friend
and ex husband. They were trying to have a baby,
their froze embryos, which they didn't use when they were
in a relationship. Fast forward, she asked if she could
use the embryo to have the baby herself. The verbal agreement,
as far as we know, was that he didn't want
to be involved.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
Now that the.
Speaker 4 (04:31):
Baby's too, the child's too, she is asking for child support,
but he said he didn't want to do anything. I
didn't want to be involved in any way.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
And it's in his position I would be like again,
fast forward fifteen years and the kids growing up, and
he's joined a gang like the Tea Birds from Greece
or something, and he's like, you know, my best friend
wouldn't be Danny Zuker if you just paid child support.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
You know that would linger over me. Yeah, the guilt
of well you want to do? You want to help
out this kid? Eternal instinct you exactly. Yeah, That's why
I really love to know if he wants to be
more involved or not. What's the text machine saying there?
Speaker 4 (05:06):
Flooded He didn't actually have the physical situation to conceive
the child. She did that knowing he didn't want to
be with her or support her.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
No way.
Speaker 4 (05:16):
Should he have to pay child support? Someone said, surely
he had to sign off on it. Well, it sounds
like he did. And if they didn't have a contract
after that, then basically.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
He's agreed to do it.
Speaker 4 (05:28):
This is someone that said, quoting a lawyer, a verbal
agreement is passable in a court of law, and this
would be sufficient to swing in the favor of the
father not having to pay child right.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Well, but the question this morning, I guess is, does
this lady confront her friend and say, hey, back off
the child support demand's car?
Speaker 4 (05:44):
You're on?
Speaker 3 (05:45):
How are you?
Speaker 5 (05:47):
I'm good Now, my blood's not boiling so much?
Speaker 3 (05:50):
Were your blood? Your blood's boiling from?
Speaker 4 (05:54):
Who are you defending?
Speaker 5 (05:56):
I'm defending him? I heard a friendship. That friendship, Hell,
one hundred percent. It's not right.
Speaker 4 (06:03):
It's to me.
Speaker 5 (06:04):
I feel like this woman has gotten older and she's
going kind of getting at the end of her kind
of being able to have kids situation, possibly in the embryo. There.
He's done her a solid, you know, he's been a
good guy and said, yeah, okay, that's cool him and
heard the reasons, you know, were his his demands or
whatever you want to call them, and then she's just
(06:24):
got totally against that.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
True, he was pretty clear by the sounds, but pretty
clear with his.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
Communication agreement there.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Yeah, it's like if I is an example walking through
Westfield and they're demanding money for chinchillas.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
And Bolivia your blood boil.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
John, thanks for the chinchilla example.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
That really cleared things up for me.
Speaker 4 (06:47):
Martin.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
Yeah, good.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
Do you think the friends should confront her mate and say, hey,
child support payments? No?
Speaker 6 (06:56):
No, no, definitely, I mean I do want to text
it and it said, you know, you think they both
would have had to sign off on the ivy en
ye And in my eyes, surely.
Speaker 5 (07:11):
You'd get something written down to say that it's.
Speaker 6 (07:14):
Not technically it's not going to be my.
Speaker 5 (07:16):
Child kind of thing.
Speaker 6 (07:16):
But yeah, turn around and say pull.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
Your ahead and it's yeah, you.
Speaker 6 (07:23):
Know, it's un here on him if he didn't want
to him any more kids or if he's in another
marriage with kids.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Yeah, well he did a favor and it's come back
to bite.
Speaker 4 (07:33):
And do you know what, probably ninety percent of people
on the text machine are agreeing.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
So resolution, that's what we're going to say.
Speaker 4 (07:40):
But someone said, as his name on the birth certificate,
if it is, he probably has to.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
Pay Childs's that johnaan Ben podcast.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
Andra, We are tracked down The team tracked down a
reproductive lawyer.
Speaker 4 (07:53):
Someone who specializes in this kind of situation.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Xandra joins us on the phone. Good morning to you,
Good morning King Lovely. Now, just to clarify, we're not
paying per hour for this house.
Speaker 6 (08:05):
No, no, no, absolutely not.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
All right, okay, because it will come on Ben's credit card.
He's got sixty three million views on the internet at
the moment, any money, all of you. Xandra, Now you've
heard the scenario legally, we're just you know, quite interested
to know from a legal standpoint, where does everyone sit.
Speaker 6 (08:27):
Well, look, absolutely, and whom's not the ex husband who
I think is one of your listen has just said
did her favor? You know, he is exposed. He's exposed
for to pay chart support in terms of he's consented
to her using the embryo and I assume is on
(08:48):
the birth partificate, which then of course makes him a
father and a guardian. In saying that, though there would
be grounds to argue that with IDA and apply for
what's called and it's been reviewed. But yeah, I mean,
I'm not going to sound like annoyed it here, but
it's exactly what I am. It's so important to get
(09:10):
these to get something documented and get an agreement and
get the independent advice before so that everybody knows, get it.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
In writing, and get it and write, because what's the
thing a vo agreement? I guess it is kind of
like he said, she says, or whatever the situation is.
Speaker 6 (09:25):
Right, Yeah, absolutely, but also to just get that two
lawyers each, get your own lawyer, get independent legal advice,
get it documented in an agreement. It doesn't cost a lot.
We do these quite regularly with beef. They call donor agreements,
and everybody knows where they stand that. You know, you're
not going to be a parent who's got the responsibility
(09:46):
day to day. You're not going to go on the
birth certificate. You're not going to apply at a later
stage to be a guidian. But you know important for
the guy in this scenario not going to be responsible financially.
Speaker 4 (09:57):
So I've heard from the friend and we know that
there was no official contract, so it was a verbal agreement.
But she's not sure if he is on the birth certificate,
say he's not, but they only have a verbal agreement.
Where would they stand with child support in that scenario?
Speaker 6 (10:15):
Yeah, that it would be really difficult for her to
get child support in that scenario and so that's key.
That's the key. But is he unburstificate or not. If
he's not, then that's going to make it very difficult.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Well, Xandra, if anyone finds their life falling apart, how
do we get.
Speaker 6 (10:30):
Hold of you? Just just google my name, you know,
just look me up. It's quite unique.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
Great now, I've never heard the name Xandrew.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
It's a wonderful name.
Speaker 4 (10:41):
Thank you.
Speaker 6 (10:41):
Yeah, it is good.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
It is good.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
Good name, good name.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
You love the name being.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
It's like you had a personalized plate and said I
couldn't get Sandra, so I just get the Z version.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
It was good. I like it.
This jonaman Being podcast brought to you by Hello Fresh.
The experts and Tastes that Kiwi's Law. Emotional scenes are
the Warriors on Friday night to the last home game
for Shawn Johnson, very very teary.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
It was when he walked out with his wonderful wife
Kayla and their children and started tearing up. I imagine
that would have been a big wave of emotion for him.
Totally stupid comment, John, Obviously it was, but and it's
hard to probably regather yourself from that moment then start
tackling mofos.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
Yeah, play a rugby league game, but yeah, really really sad.
It was a great scend off. You're right, Tam.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Meghan, Now someone's slid in to Meghan's TMS again worth
a very well juicy dilemma.
Speaker 4 (00:40):
I guess in some ways they're like insensitive, which they
address it sears. Hey, John, have Ben and Meghan. This
is a sensitive topic and involves my best friend. Long
story short, my friend and our ex husband were trying
to have a baby and they froze embryos during their
time together. They broke up and therefore didn't use them.
(01:01):
Fast forward and my friend ended up using one of
the embryos herself with the permission from her ex. As
long as she agreed, she raised the child herself. He
didn't want to be involved, But now the child is
too and she is asking for child support. I'm support
of her that he was very clear that he would
give her the gift of a child, but didn't want
(01:22):
to be involved. That included giving the child support. She
keeps asking me for my opinion and what she should do.
But I can't help but feel like she trapped him
a wee bit and it isn't really fair. But then again,
he is the father. Should he pay? Am I a
bad friend for feeling like this?
Speaker 2 (01:40):
My first instinct is they had an arrangement. He has
no obligation to pay. But then I've watched a lot
of judges duty over my years. She would say, take
the emotion out of it.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
What was the deal?
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Was it written down?
Speaker 4 (01:53):
Was it written?
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Was it contractual? Because then but if it was just
he said, she said, then arguably the eyes of the
law's he's got an obligation.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Yeah, you're right, it does feel like exactly what you said.
I don't need to repeat exactly.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
You're on my team. I am, actually Yeah, like that
does feel like it was the agreement.
Speaker 4 (02:13):
But did they did they get a contract, an actual
agreement drawn up?
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Well, that hasn't been mentioned, which would need you to
believe no, But is the.
Speaker 4 (02:22):
Verbal agreement enough in the eyes of the law in
this situation?
Speaker 3 (02:27):
Does he have some sort of obligation? You know, and
someone will not well.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
You would as even a bit yeah, because are you first, four, ten,
fifteen years in this situation and the child's growing up?
What do you do then, because this person might still
be in and around, Yeah, the house, and do you
like it gets messy? It does get very messy. But
the question we're asking is is he obligated to pay
(02:50):
child support off the back of this arrangement?
Speaker 3 (02:53):
I'd love to know what he has his thoughts changed
towards it.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
You know, has he met the child, does he feel
like maybe yeah, part of their life move.
Speaker 4 (03:01):
On from the friend obviously, Well, it sounds like they're
not at all in any kind of relationship.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
It reminds me of when I'm walking through Westfield More
and they're like, hey, sir, would you like to sign
up direct debit to save the starving chinchillas of Bolivia?
I'm like, yeah, okay, I'll help them, and then I
canceled the direct debbit a couple of months later. But
then they come knocking three years later and they're like
that chinchilla you helped save starving to death now wants
a house pay.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
Up just like that, right, questioning that example, No part
of me.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
You got lost your example lot doing that example.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
When you started. Okay, so what okay, what do we
want to know here, Meghan?
Speaker 4 (03:46):
What will the friend wants to know? Is she a
bad friend?
Speaker 3 (03:48):
Fulfilling like that?
Speaker 4 (03:49):
Should the father technically should he be paying? I guess
what is the legalities around that too?
Speaker 3 (03:55):
If you lawyer, and.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
So your friend probably wants to know she should say
something to her mate and so how you should back
asking for child support page.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
The hits that johnaan Ben podcast.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
We're in the middle of today's dem Megan, which has
got to do with the child support and an agreement.
We don't know how rock solid the agreement was, but
just a recap, Megan.
Speaker 4 (04:13):
So this is a friend messaging in about her friend
and ex husband. They were trying to have a baby,
their froze embryos, which they didn't use when they were
in a relationship. Fast forward, she asked if she could
use the embryo to have the baby herself. The verbal agreement,
as far as we know, was that he didn't want
to be involved.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
Now that the.
Speaker 4 (04:31):
Baby's too, the child's too, she is asking for child support,
but he said he didn't want to do anything. I
didn't want to be involved in any way.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
And it's in his position I would be like again,
fast forward fifteen years and the kids growing up, and
he's joined a gang like the Tea Birds from Greece
or something, and he's like, you know, my best friend
wouldn't be Danny Zuker if you just paid child support.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
You know that would linger over me. Yeah, the guilt
of well you want to do? You want to help
out this kid? Eternal instinct you exactly. Yeah, That's why
I really love to know if he wants to be
more involved or not. What's the text machine saying there?
Speaker 4 (05:06):
Flooded He didn't actually have the physical situation to conceive
the child. She did that knowing he didn't want to
be with her or support her.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
No way.
Speaker 4 (05:16):
Should he have to pay child support? Someone said, surely
he had to sign off on it. Well, it sounds
like he did. And if they didn't have a contract
after that, then basically.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
He's agreed to do it.
Speaker 4 (05:28):
This is someone that said, quoting a lawyer, a verbal
agreement is passable in a court of law, and this
would be sufficient to swing in the favor of the
father not having to pay child right.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Well, but the question this morning, I guess is, does
this lady confront her friend and say, hey, back off
the child support demand's car?
Speaker 4 (05:44):
You're on?
Speaker 3 (05:45):
How are you?
Speaker 5 (05:47):
I'm good Now, my blood's not boiling so much?
Speaker 3 (05:50):
Were your blood? Your blood's boiling from?
Speaker 4 (05:54):
Who are you defending?
Speaker 5 (05:56):
I'm defending him? I heard a friendship. That friendship, Hell,
one hundred percent. It's not right.
Speaker 4 (06:03):
It's to me.
Speaker 5 (06:04):
I feel like this woman has gotten older and she's
going kind of getting at the end of her kind
of being able to have kids situation, possibly in the embryo. There.
He's done her a solid, you know, he's been a
good guy and said, yeah, okay, that's cool him and
heard the reasons, you know, were his his demands or
whatever you want to call them, and then she's just
(06:24):
got totally against that.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
True, he was pretty clear by the sounds, but pretty
clear with his.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
Communication agreement there.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Yeah, it's like if I is an example walking through
Westfield and they're demanding money for chinchillas.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
And Bolivia your blood boil.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
John, thanks for the chinchilla example.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
That really cleared things up for me.
Speaker 4 (06:47):
Martin.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
Yeah, good.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
Do you think the friends should confront her mate and say, hey,
child support payments? No?
Speaker 6 (06:56):
No, no, definitely, I mean I do want to text
it and it said, you know, you think they both
would have had to sign off on the ivy en
ye And in my eyes, surely.
Speaker 5 (07:11):
You'd get something written down to say that it's.
Speaker 6 (07:14):
Not technically it's not going to be my.
Speaker 5 (07:16):
Child kind of thing.
Speaker 6 (07:16):
But yeah, turn around and say pull.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
Your ahead and it's yeah, you.
Speaker 6 (07:23):
Know, it's un here on him if he didn't want
to him any more kids or if he's in another
marriage with kids.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Yeah, well he did a favor and it's come back
to bite.
Speaker 4 (07:33):
And do you know what, probably ninety percent of people
on the text machine are agreeing.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
So resolution, that's what we're going to say.
Speaker 4 (07:40):
But someone said, as his name on the birth certificate,
if it is, he probably has to.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
Pay Childs's that johnaan Ben podcast.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
Andra, We are tracked down The team tracked down a
reproductive lawyer.
Speaker 4 (07:53):
Someone who specializes in this kind of situation.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Xandra joins us on the phone. Good morning to you,
Good morning King Lovely. Now, just to clarify, we're not
paying per hour for this house.
Speaker 6 (08:05):
No, no, no, absolutely not.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
All right, okay, because it will come on Ben's credit card.
He's got sixty three million views on the internet at
the moment, any money, all of you. Xandra, Now you've
heard the scenario legally, we're just you know, quite interested
to know from a legal standpoint, where does everyone sit.
Speaker 6 (08:27):
Well, look, absolutely, and whom's not the ex husband who
I think is one of your listen has just said
did her favor? You know, he is exposed. He's exposed
for to pay chart support in terms of he's consented
to her using the embryo and I assume is on
(08:48):
the birth partificate, which then of course makes him a
father and a guardian. In saying that, though there would
be grounds to argue that with IDA and apply for
what's called and it's been reviewed. But yeah, I mean,
I'm not going to sound like annoyed it here, but
it's exactly what I am. It's so important to get
(09:10):
these to get something documented and get an agreement and
get the independent advice before so that everybody knows, get it.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
In writing, and get it and write, because what's the
thing a vo agreement? I guess it is kind of
like he said, she says, or whatever the situation is.
Speaker 6 (09:25):
Right, Yeah, absolutely, but also to just get that two
lawyers each, get your own lawyer, get independent legal advice,
get it documented in an agreement. It doesn't cost a lot.
We do these quite regularly with beef. They call donor agreements,
and everybody knows where they stand that. You know, you're
not going to be a parent who's got the responsibility
(09:46):
day to day. You're not going to go on the
birth certificate. You're not going to apply at a later
stage to be a guidian. But you know important for
the guy in this scenario not going to be responsible financially.
Speaker 4 (09:57):
So I've heard from the friend and we know that
there was no official contract, so it was a verbal agreement.
But she's not sure if he is on the birth certificate,
say he's not, but they only have a verbal agreement.
Where would they stand with child support in that scenario?
Speaker 6 (10:15):
Yeah, that it would be really difficult for her to
get child support in that scenario and so that's key.
That's the key. But is he unburstificate or not. If
he's not, then that's going to make it very difficult.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Well, Xandra, if anyone finds their life falling apart, how
do we get.
Speaker 6 (10:30):
Hold of you? Just just google my name, you know,
just look me up. It's quite unique.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
Great now, I've never heard the name Xandrew.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
It's a wonderful name.
Speaker 4 (10:41):
Thank you.
Speaker 6 (10:41):
Yeah, it is good.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
It is good.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
Good name, good name.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
You love the name being.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
It's like you had a personalized plate and said I
couldn't get Sandra, so I just get the Z version.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
It was good. I like it.
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Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.