September 26, 2024 • 25 mins
Warning: This podcast covers topics of depression, anxiety, and suicide. Listener discretion is advised. Please seek support if needed.
In light of Mental Health Week, Jono, Ben, and Megan open up about their experiences:
-
The stigma surrounding discussions about mental health with friends
-
Realising you can't always trust people you thought were your friends
-
The pressure to sell your personality to get a job
-
Adjusting to life after losing a friend
-
Going on anxiety medication
-
Being talked about publicly while going through something deeply personal
-
Imposter syndrome and the challenge of understanding someone else's experience
-
Advice the team has used over the years to support their mental health
Need to talk? Free call or text 1737 any time for support from a trained counsellor.
More links to help here: https://mentalhealth.org.nz/helplines
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This Gentleman Being podcast brought to you by Hello Fresh,
the Experts and Tastes that Kiwis Love.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Hello, Welcome to this very special podcast. This is Johnny,
Ben and Meghan here. We are talking mental health Mental
Health Awareness week let.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Speak weekend in New Zealand. We've covered it a little
bit on the radio this week, which you know, it's
been great talking to people like Die Henwood Jas Thornton
as well about their mental health journey and some tips
as well. But we just thought, well, hey, should we
jump on. There's no real agenda for this podcast. I
guess the agenda I didn't get that either, but it
was probably just to had chance to have a chat.
And if you're hearing it now, it means we thought
(00:37):
it was good enough to put out as a podcast
and if not, it doesn't it might not be a podcast. No,
I'll be honest with you. I'm fifty fifty on this
and it was my idea to do it.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
Fifty.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
It's fine, we need to talk about it more, but
it's not something we generally do as as a show
and maybe we should do it more.
Speaker 3 (00:55):
You know, it doesn't come naturally to us because we're
so like, yeah, let's have a lot.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
And that's not to say mental health it's hugely important,
we should talk about it more. But I know it's
very hard when you're doing a show every morning, and
you're doing a show that's meant to entertain an upbeat.
It's a real gear change to have these conversations. And
that's why we're doing it in a podcast form.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
And sometimes it can come across token. You know, there
are some wonderful shows out there that do do fantastic
things for mental health. Absolutely Morning Rumble one of them,
and many years great work with means mental health. And
so you don't want to be.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Like, oh, we're just just to jump on this, yeah yeah,
because yeah, but it does affect everyone and various forms everyone,
whether personally or people they know, often both as well.
So it's it's great to have weeks like Mental Health
Week where people can talk about this.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
It's hard for us too, because generally on the radio
we are restricted to like a four, four or five
minutes at a push, you know, so we might get
into a topic and then we're like right, no, coming out.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
The ouse, you know.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Yeah, and also the way you are feeling, I find it,
you know, necessarily like you can have a bad day.
You have days with personally mental health is not great.
But you don't want to be that person on the
radio where you know you can have those rareal chats
from time to time, but you can't have three hours
every morning of that. So you put on this mask
or you put on this performance. Ba.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Well, it's not the most it's not the most enjoyable radio.
For we come on with all our problems. She's bloody
Betlan today. So all you have to do is pretend
to be happy for three minutes at a time. Yeah,
because everyone has stuff going on in their lives.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
And everyone will know about pretending to be happy at
times and not say you shouldn't be your real self,
but everyone will know. I've got to go on to
this pick the kittens up, or do this thing, you know,
and you have to go, okay, I already feel like
doing this now. But I will contend and I will smile,
And that's kind of what the radio is sometimes sometimes
not all the time, with a lot more fake laugh
at that. Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
Sometimes I've had those days where you just you're like,
I don't feel like laughing and joking ground with everyone today.
But then you come in and that can be the
best medicine, you know, like having your mates around and
having a laughs. At the end of it, you feel
a lot better than when you went into it.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
For me, in life, you have to put on a mask,
don't you when you think about it. Yeah, everyone and
no one has probably genuinely one hundred percent themselves, even
with your partner at times, are you Yeah, I guess,
but you know you don't want to be a dearb downer,
(03:17):
do you, Yeah, and bring down the vibes of the
room if you're feeling in a bad way, so you
just put on a mask, and that's probably a large
part of the problem.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
But it's weird because hearing you say that, I'm like, well,
I would want you to tell me, But then if
I was feeling like that, I'd be like, well, I
don't want to burden John it. Yeah, maybe don't practice
what we preach at all. I'm like, well, I would
definitely want you to be like, dude, I'm having a
shit day, and I'd be like, you know, I'd want
to make feel better, But then I would never be like,
oh god, I'm saying you know, yeah, you want to.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Put that on someone else. Yeah, And sometimes people will
ask you how you are and you'll say I'm okay
or you know this, things are, but it's real hard
to go, well, when do you have that conversation? Yeah,
you know, if you are having some things, So when
does that?
Speaker 3 (03:59):
You know?
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Because you know this is not gonna be a quick conversation.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Yeah, this is not gonna and you are wary of
other people's time. You know, they've probably got a meeting
in five minutes or something. When it's the right time
to bring it up. I always find it interesting too,
because you have everyone gone through it themselves or have
friends in their group who have gone through mental health issues.
And sometimes you can they can come across being rude
(04:26):
or angry, can't They people going through their own struggles,
And that's because they're dealing with their own stuff, and
probably there's probably a level of frustration there. I know
that I've had a couple of friends where you're like, well,
I haven't said anything and I've just let them go
completely in a downward spiral, and you've gone, oh, they've
just been in a really shitty mood and I answering
my calls, they're not texting back, they've shut off. And
(04:50):
there's times where I've definitely had a friend pass away,
took his own life and I should have stepped in
multiple times.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
So the morning, you felt like the warning signs were
there for.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
You years, right, for years, and it was more cheese.
It was years ago now, and it was a lot
younger too, and you didn't feel like you had It
was awkward. It was awkward to bring up and it
shouldn't be. Yeah, but there's only speaking truthfully about preaches.
And then even after that fact, you're like, we're going
to be more over all, I was saying, they've been
more open to have more conversations and to be honest, haven't.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
You know it's hard Yeah, oh yeah. I mean I
struggle a lot with my mental health and I don't
talk to people about it, you know, and I don't
have those people that I kind of do, and you know,
and it is a hard thing to bring up, you know,
And you do feel for other people that are going
through that because I think the thing about mental health
is and I've kind of not learned. I'm not an expert,
but it doesn't it doesn't matter if you're successful not
successful we've got, you know, you have celebrities, they've got
(05:44):
millions of dollars like yourself of mental health. It doesn't
mean their mental health is any less you know, important, yeah,
than anyone else who's you know, it's a realis it's
a real problem around the place.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
Isn't that weird though, Because like any other thing you
go to the doctor for, Like I break my arm,
Everyone everyone you know could break their arm. The brain
is just another part of your body that has moments
where it's not working.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Right?
Speaker 3 (06:09):
Why is that? Why does it come with so much stigma?
Speaker 1 (06:13):
I shouldn't And that's why I guess what this week's about, right, Yeah?
Mental health weak? Yeah, yeah, it's.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
It's It is interesting because I I think I probably
struggle with anxiety sometimes. I've had panic attacks and stuff,
but I, for whatever reason, have never gone to a
doctor or anyone to sort it out, which is probably
a huge frustration for my partner. But I like, I
like to arrogantly think I control myself better now, like
(06:41):
I've gone to therapy, but I've never been medicated or
anything like that. And I've never had anyone say, yes,
you have anxiety. But I think I know that it is,
and I've never I don't know why. I don't know
why I've never had the confidence to sort it out.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Yeah. Do you see as a sign of weakness that
a few have to rely on medication or professional help,
because going back to my friend, he would refuse to
take his medication. Yeah, it's like, I don't feel like
I can do this myself.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
Full disclosure. After my divorce, I was on antidepressants and
I didn't like them. They made me feel like really
like spacey. Yeah, and I was trying to do radio
and I felt like I was real like not myself.
So I just went off them cold turkey, which I
now know you're not supposed to do.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
Plus you don't measure, you don't want to become reliant
on them. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
I had just had my all my own thoughts about it,
which was so dumb, and I got the shakes, I
had brain zaps, and I like was physically unwell. And
I told my boss at the time and he was like,
you're not supposed to do that, and he got me
extra help, but I like was just I had no
idea and I was like, I don't want to do
this anymore. So I just went off them. And I've
(07:54):
just always been really I don't know, like in my
head about all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
On the older you get to the the more like
I didn't used to worry about things as much as
I do now, you know, And there's and there's always
reasons why, you you know, like getting arrested at the
airport or getting shows canceled or all those things can
lead to the way you are now. There's always reasons
behind these things. They were like fifteen years ago, this
(08:20):
wouldn't affected me, but now it does because of this
thing I find. It's a big way. And this industry too,
you know. And I don't want to bitch about this,
and because we're fortunate to be in there, but the
TV industry in particular, it has always been the dream
of mine to be TV and radio and have that
huge part of my life just disappear. It has been hugely,
hugely hard for me to get home, and I reckon
(08:41):
most people I thought had my back and were my
mates are not and not I've clearly worked out they're not. No,
they're not. They're not friendly, but they're not they're not
fighting for you in the rooms that you're not in
for and that's been a real hard lesson to learn.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
From me, you know, and we've spoken briefly about it,
and I have.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
The same similar things you know in this industry as well.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
You know, it affix your confidence and who you are
because and like we're totally privileged to be this is
doing heart surgery. It's a very privileged.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
And that's why I feel we're talking about this because
it's come up, mate, You're on the right, you know, Like.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
But I totally know what you mean because we sell
our personalities like we are our own brand. So like
when people say they don't want you, it feels really personal.
It's like we don't like you literally don't want what
I personally bring to the table. So it hurts.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
So like you're not like just a terrible chef, where
like she's that person can't cook. Yeah, yeah, I see
what you're saying.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
Or your specific skill, someone else is better at that
skill than you. It's your personality, you know, Like it's
not personal, it's like it is.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
I get there.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
And I think a lot of people in this industry
and probably many others as well, they put so much
gravitas on who they are as a person, on their
job yeah, you know, you play so much importance on
the success and your happiness and well being for you know,
and that's correlated to how well you're doing in your
professional life. And it shouldn't be the way, but it is.
(10:09):
And in a lot of professions you're like, if I'm
successful in work, then everything's going well in life. It's
not necessary the.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Way, no, And like you see, I always think about
sports people, so they would you know, like say all blacks,
they spend their whole life from when they're young gearing
up to like being this all black and then your
career in terms of careers finishes pretty early, you know,
like you're pre forty usually, and then they're like, well
(10:35):
what next, what next? Because you spend your whole life
focusing on this one thing that ends, you know, and
then you've got to figure out a career path after that.
And you're right, people go into like this mental health
to like battle with what is my worth and what
is my place in the world.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Yeah, well that's and there's not nothing wrong with putting
a whole lot of word your worth and well being
and your professional career because that's you know, for many
people what they're passionate about and their hobby as well.
At the same time you look at like you're talking
about Daniel Ricardo, the Formula one driver. Yeah, for weeks
they've been like he's gonna go. He's terribly set, you know,
and he would.
Speaker 3 (11:10):
Be so in his head at that interview I showed
you where he'd just done the race and he knows,
he knows it probably is his last race in Formula One,
and they're like, how do you feel about it? And
he's like trembling his lips trembling, and he's like, yeah,
I was just trying to save the moment. So this
guy is like you imagine what that must be like.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Yeah, well yeah, it's not just yeah, it's not Formula one,
it's not just me. It's so many that those jobs
that you are.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
Yeah, but I mean he will learn a lot of
money and he's in a privileged position, but he's not
immune to a mental health struggling.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Yeah, it doesn't make it his mental health any less
than in someone else what they're going through as well.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
So being able to think I have separation between the
two parts of your life, the private and professional, is key, Yeah,
absolutely key. Yeah, Like how work's making you feel or
you know how you feel you're doing it work. You've
got to some how leave that at the door and
separate that from your personal life, because that is so special.
What's going on in people's personal life, friends, family and everything.
(12:08):
It's easily taken for granted, I think at times.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
But I also find it weird that we spend so
much of our life around people all the time. Even
in the street, I'm like always thinking we're walking past
all these people, we're all living the same experience, but
I don't. We don't even speak to people, you know, Like,
I find that weird. And then you go to work
and I see all these people.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
Here every day.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Going on.
Speaker 3 (12:34):
We're just like, hey, hey, and like some of the
people out there I've known for years and the only
conversation we ever have is like, how whuch we can?
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Good?
Speaker 1 (12:41):
You're good?
Speaker 3 (12:43):
It's so weird to me.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Yeah. No, Larissa, who works in the promotions department, she said,
for many years, all I would say to is hey,
you go mate, and she'd say good, and then that
was our in direction. Yeah, doesn't go any further than that.
Crazy weird people you see every day you're right like, and.
Speaker 3 (12:58):
You end up seeing them sometimes more in your family,
like that's not natural.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
It's unusual. Yeah, it's very unusual.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
But maybe we should just like try and you know,
talk a bit more. When someone's like obviously not having
a good time, just be like, hey, are you actually okay?
Speaker 2 (13:16):
What do you do when you're having a bad time?
You can't say drinking?
Speaker 1 (13:21):
What do I do specifically?
Speaker 3 (13:23):
You can't say drinking.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
I've been getting against I find like there's a lot
of thing for me in routine, like fresh air, exercise,
those things, you know, like just to trying to do that,
so things at least if I do some exercise, at
least it's something I feel like I can control and
I feel better for doing. You know, it doesn't solve
the world's problems, but at least I've just done that.
Because if you don't exercise or something, I feel like, oh,
that's another thing I now had to my list of things.
(13:49):
I'm like, I haven't done that either, done this other
thing you know in your environment.
Speaker 3 (13:54):
That's like Jazz Thornton's another day, like she was like, oh,
I hate it, but exercise is really good, and it
is like, you know, it's good for you. It actually
like releases good chemicals into the brain and.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
You've achieved something too, You're fine with that and.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
Just like focused your mind on yourself.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
Switching off your brain is something I was really struggling
to do. Yeah, to be or to be honest, because
that's just you know, with this job, all you're thinking
about is ideas, and all you're thinking about is content
when it's making you know, see, all you're doing all
for your life is you know, making videos and things
and its content. And then so that I use I
think you know, the times I have been to talk
to someone professionally, they're like, you're still you're using that
(14:31):
part of your brain to other things as well. You know,
you're going to those places that maybe because your brain's
just working over time because that's what you're used to
in your job. So you're probably thinking about all these
things that can potentially go wrong or other things in there. Yeah,
in those situations because your brain you used to. Your
brain's just like cool, let's let's go through a hundred
different things that you know that could happen to what happened,
(14:51):
might happen or do you know it's yeah, and that's
you know, it's fine when it's a work situation. But
when it's other stuff, you just go into those places.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
You go to worst case scenario every time, and that's.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
A huge yeah. But I because of traun me pa,
I didn't you know, I didn't go to worst case
scenario for the airport and then then learned that one
the hard way, you know, And you know, I went
that with the court case and huge fines and losing
work and like having the mortgage up for you know,
all this stuff and putting you know, straining on relationships
with friends and people colleagues and putting them through shit,
(15:22):
and it was that was worst case scenario for me,
and then being all over the media. So I was like, well,
that can happen for something that I didn't foresay, and
then I'm going to force I'm gonna put everything through
that folks now, you know. And so and as I
said before that I wouldn't have gone to that place.
But because of that, that means I'm like that now,
So there's a reason I guess for.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
Something really horrible and like you were worse than me.
But like when your name gets put that up there
and everyone's allowed to comment on you and your situation,
and you know what, you did, like the public is
shirts shirt. When everyone has a comment about you personally
and it's like a free for all, it is the
(16:03):
most horrible thing and it tears you down in the
most horrendous way. Were you look inside yourself and you're like,
does anyone actually like me?
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Like?
Speaker 3 (16:13):
Am I good at this? Like you know, like you
have this really raw, horrible moment where because you read
the comments, especially when you've got something public like what
Ben went through, and then.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
You look at someone like poor bloody Reagan, Yeah from
something as simil as breakdown yea.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
And the hate that she got for that, and yeah,
but now you go, well, how is she? How is
your mental health? It would not be good and your
She was out there just to spread joy and then
to be involved in something.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
You know. And also what she did, she didn't break
the law. She made us laugh. Like I think we
as a show come at those kind of things from
a very empathetic standpoint. It's like like even with the
Dave Grohl thing, I'm like, I mean, he didn't break
the law. Again, he broke the contract with his wife.
He screwed up, so he needs to they need to
(17:04):
deal with It's not for me to be like, you're
a terrible human because he's getting that anyway.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
Yeah, that's the other There's so much opinion everywhere which
can affect people too. Even you fall down rabbit holes
of information on TikTok and that can deeply affect your
mental health. You know, I've got a friend who falls
down those rabbit holes and you have really changed really
just from information just constantly coming at them. And because
(17:31):
he's clicked on one or two videos, now they think, oh,
this is the type of content he enjoys, so he
thinks that's his world. And then you get sucked into
this vortex of and you've got to pull yourself out,
go outside, get some exercise.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
And you're right like the media and the internet can't
be trusted because they build an algorithm around what you're
looking at, so you get into a little like bubble
of certain content and it's not Actually I don't.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
Want to talk here, transplants. I clicked on one ad
once just out of interest. What was going to happen?
I think the world has changed a lot where it
would have been interesting to see statistics on mental health
and not again years ago, eighties, nineties, wasn't spoken about
as much, but whether there were as many mental health
problems as there are nowadays, with the environments that were
(18:21):
in there.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
All people just told like, you know, sir John killing you.
I hugely admire what he's done, you know, like he
was being an all black. It was traditionally staunch, you
know that all those sort of things that we now
know shouldn't be the case. Yeahd make it out there.
He was suffering from it and probably is still, you know,
but to come out publicly and to talk about what
he's going through it's usually brave. Yeah, and to go hey,
(18:42):
you know, I'm not okay and stuff.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
It was.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
It was amazing what he's done and has continues to do.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
You know, he would be a pioneer yeah for that. Yeah,
in this country anyway.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
You're right, But back then there's probably other people and
the team going through the same sort of stuff might
not brave enough to talk about it, you know.
Speaker 3 (18:57):
So yeah, I mean, you're right, everything has changed so much,
but like you can, the best thing we could do
is talk about it, just talk about how.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
But it's hard, Yeah, And I guess its hard because
I don't preach always what what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
That's the thing. I sometimes feel typocritical where you're like
go and talk to it and being listening here when
you're like, well, I probably don't do that enough with
my own friend group. So it's something that you need
to be active on, isn't it.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
But also like, rather than being like, well I just
need to go and listen to someone else, maybe you
can start by like talking to them about you first
and being more vulnerable with you, and then they will
feel safe to do it back. I don't know that
it's good.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
And sometimes when you start the conversation, the starting of
is the most daunting. As soon as you're in the conversation,
it's absolutely fine.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
Like this, we're all like, oh god, what are we
going to do?
Speaker 1 (19:50):
What are we going to talk about? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (19:52):
True, you had a fifty to fifty split on this
at the top. Where are your thoughts now?
Speaker 1 (19:55):
Mate?
Speaker 2 (19:56):
Where you're sitting? Percentage was a minutes.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
I don't. Yeah, I go around in circles because I'm
kind of like, who, we're not expert? What do you
shut up? You know? In my head, I'm like, again,
my brain's going shut up, just shut up. What are
you saying? You don't know? You know, do you know
what that is.
Speaker 3 (20:09):
That's from what you've experienced in the past. You're reading
those comments back in your mind about what you're doing now,
because I get that too every time I talk now
or think, you know, that's what you know, like, yeah,
I don't like listening back to anything I've done on
here because I'm like, who wants to listen to you?
Just shut up? Like you suck?
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Like you know all of that Poster syndrome. It's a
huge thing, you know, like when you don't feel like, yeah,
you're quite you know, like you still I still get that,
you know most most weeks, you know, when you're like,
oh jeez, I felt like I'm I meant to be here,
and I guess we're coming from things when your confidence
is low. We're getting knocked back again, that rejection thing,
and it makes that stuff worse. It's just a cycle
(20:49):
of like, you know, you can see what it happens, but.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
There's a finalite of using that as a driver too,
isn't it imposter syndrome? Yeah, yeah, it's having that balance
in your head of that's what makes you strive to
keep working hard in whatever industry you're in or whatever
you're trying to achieve in life.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
But like, I get my imposter syndrome. But to hear
you say that, I'm like, you guys have had like
a very long career and media. You're very well recognized
for all of the successful things you've done. Like, I
don't understand your imposter syndrome, do you know what I mean?
I'm like, why are you going forward? Being like, oh,
I've got to know here, And I'm like, how many
(21:25):
yearses have you had though? And how much success have
you had? You know? And even the airport scenario where
it ended up getting you, you know, all of that
went down, it was in the first instance, it was
still very entertaining, Like do you know what I mean?
And I don't know if I'll get in trouble for
saying that, but it was it was a great idea
and it was entertaining. And you mean, well, well it wasn't.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
It was never exactly at which I should have thought
through a lot more.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
But yeah, your intentions were to entertain people, and you did,
and you've had a very successful career subsequently. So yeah,
Like to hear other people talk about imposter syndrome, you're
always like what, Yeah, Like Taylor Stoft Scott Imposter syndrome,
and everyone does.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
Everyone does. Yeah, No, one probably feels like they need,
they deserve to be where they are what they're doing. Yeah,
we're all just been making our way through life, making
things up, aren't we.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
I've got a theory that no one in this business
knows actually what they're doing.
Speaker 3 (22:21):
A lot of people generally in life don't know. Like
a kid and I've got two kids, you.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
Just got to say things with confidence.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
So do your parenting with confidence.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
She's got a ship together. That's the key life doesn't
that deal with confidence. But they're also the half thingcause
you can't keep living in the past either to move forward.
Spoke to die today again. We quote him all the time,
Die Henwood, and he's like, you can't control what's even
in the past. You don't know what's coming in the future.
All you can do is be living in this moment
that you're in right now. Obviously, you can organize yourself
(22:55):
in some regard, put people up at three o'clock from school,
or you know, you just got to live in what
you're doing now. This is all you can control. What
we're doing right now. You know that's a that's a
really simple, nice way to look at life.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Yeah, again, it's yeah, it's great. I try and be
better at that, but I do struggle with that.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
But yeah, yeah, I'm it as easy as such.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
Yeah, but it's great. It's a great way to be
and if you can do it, I love to it,
you know, like more.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
And there's not to say, don't learn from what's happened
in the past. Yeah, but you can't change it now. Yeah.
All you can do is control what you're doing now.
Really does simplify things down and worrying about stuff that's
happening in the future it hasn't happened yet, Yeah, so
you can't change what's going to happen. Right.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
Well, I find my kids help me with that because
they're still little, so everything's like blows their mind. So,
like we find a ladybug out in the backyard and
it's like the coolest.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
Yeah, I want to see it.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
I'm just like, yeah, it is pretty cool. It's like
really shiny blue, you know, like like simplifying life down
to like, man, the sun feels good on my skin. Yeah, wow,
look at that shiny lady you know, Like.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
John Kellen talks about that again. He talks about the
coff his coffee in the morning and a shower. Yeah,
those are the two things where he takes a moment
to go, Okay, I'm going to feel the water on
my back and I'm taking a moment and it's hot
and it's nice and that's my and whatever it is.
He's like, it might not be the shower of the
coffee for you, maybe anything else, but the thing it
may be the appreciate the sun or whatever it is.
You know, you go, okay, that's it's just a moment
(24:21):
to go okay, Yeah, that's cool. I get to do
that and then just have a sip for me and
it's good and this is my moment.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
You know. I like. Yeah, But you know, my wife
was saying she went to some therapy and stuff. And
if you're in a moment too, you can just go
breathe in and then hold your finger and your thaw
four thumb together and then work your thumb down your
fingers and taking a breath in each time, so you
do eight in total, and that apparently recalibrates yourself if
(24:48):
you're in a fluster. Yeah, that was a really terrible
thing to describe in an audio form. I saw you
doing it Fingerbase, just think of you. Yeah, you're gonna
have to do a lot of man making up there.
Speaker 3 (24:59):
Yeah, want to die. I say, he has a cold shower.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
And he's temperature.
Speaker 3 (25:03):
Yeah, that's clearly the shock of yeah cold water.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
Yeah, obviously a shower handy for that hum in the ocean.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
Yeah, I guess that would kind of work as well.
Speaker 3 (25:13):
Well.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
I don't know if this has been helpful at all
for anyone, but it's it's been.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
It has been. It has just hearing someone like you
and John O like open up about yourself vulnerability.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
Yeah. It's not something that comes naturally. Yeah, but it's
nice to Yeah, I guess to put it out there,
and it's great. It's a great week to be talking
about the sorts of stuff.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
So if you are going through an other stuff, we
are thinking of you, and if you have people you
can talk to, it's a really good place to start.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
I thought, I just played this music. I don't know
else We're going to end it here, we go
This Gentleman Being podcast brought to you by Hello Fresh,
the Experts and Tastes that Kiwis Love.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Hello, Welcome to this very special podcast. This is Johnny,
Ben and Meghan here. We are talking mental health Mental
Health Awareness week let.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Speak weekend in New Zealand. We've covered it a little
bit on the radio this week, which you know, it's
been great talking to people like Die Henwood Jas Thornton
as well about their mental health journey and some tips
as well. But we just thought, well, hey, should we
jump on. There's no real agenda for this podcast. I
guess the agenda I didn't get that either, but it
was probably just to had chance to have a chat.
And if you're hearing it now, it means we thought
(00:37):
it was good enough to put out as a podcast
and if not, it doesn't it might not be a podcast. No,
I'll be honest with you. I'm fifty fifty on this
and it was my idea to do it.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
Fifty.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
It's fine, we need to talk about it more, but
it's not something we generally do as as a show
and maybe we should do it more.
Speaker 3 (00:55):
You know, it doesn't come naturally to us because we're
so like, yeah, let's have a lot.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
And that's not to say mental health it's hugely important,
we should talk about it more. But I know it's
very hard when you're doing a show every morning, and
you're doing a show that's meant to entertain an upbeat.
It's a real gear change to have these conversations. And
that's why we're doing it in a podcast form.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
And sometimes it can come across token. You know, there
are some wonderful shows out there that do do fantastic
things for mental health. Absolutely Morning Rumble one of them,
and many years great work with means mental health. And
so you don't want to be.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Like, oh, we're just just to jump on this, yeah yeah,
because yeah, but it does affect everyone and various forms everyone,
whether personally or people they know, often both as well.
So it's it's great to have weeks like Mental Health
Week where people can talk about this.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
It's hard for us too, because generally on the radio
we are restricted to like a four, four or five
minutes at a push, you know, so we might get
into a topic and then we're like right, no, coming out.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
The ouse, you know.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Yeah, and also the way you are feeling, I find it,
you know, necessarily like you can have a bad day.
You have days with personally mental health is not great.
But you don't want to be that person on the
radio where you know you can have those rareal chats
from time to time, but you can't have three hours
every morning of that. So you put on this mask
or you put on this performance. Ba.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Well, it's not the most it's not the most enjoyable radio.
For we come on with all our problems. She's bloody
Betlan today. So all you have to do is pretend
to be happy for three minutes at a time. Yeah,
because everyone has stuff going on in their lives.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
And everyone will know about pretending to be happy at
times and not say you shouldn't be your real self,
but everyone will know. I've got to go on to
this pick the kittens up, or do this thing, you know,
and you have to go, okay, I already feel like
doing this now. But I will contend and I will smile,
And that's kind of what the radio is sometimes sometimes
not all the time, with a lot more fake laugh
at that. Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
Sometimes I've had those days where you just you're like,
I don't feel like laughing and joking ground with everyone today.
But then you come in and that can be the
best medicine, you know, like having your mates around and
having a laughs. At the end of it, you feel
a lot better than when you went into it.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
For me, in life, you have to put on a mask,
don't you when you think about it. Yeah, everyone and
no one has probably genuinely one hundred percent themselves, even
with your partner at times, are you Yeah, I guess,
but you know you don't want to be a dearb downer,
(03:17):
do you, Yeah, and bring down the vibes of the
room if you're feeling in a bad way, so you
just put on a mask, and that's probably a large
part of the problem.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
But it's weird because hearing you say that, I'm like, well,
I would want you to tell me, But then if
I was feeling like that, I'd be like, well, I
don't want to burden John it. Yeah, maybe don't practice
what we preach at all. I'm like, well, I would
definitely want you to be like, dude, I'm having a
shit day, and I'd be like, you know, I'd want
to make feel better, But then I would never be like,
oh god, I'm saying you know, yeah, you want to.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Put that on someone else. Yeah, And sometimes people will
ask you how you are and you'll say I'm okay
or you know this, things are, but it's real hard
to go, well, when do you have that conversation? Yeah,
you know, if you are having some things, So when
does that?
Speaker 3 (03:59):
You know?
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Because you know this is not gonna be a quick conversation.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Yeah, this is not gonna and you are wary of
other people's time. You know, they've probably got a meeting
in five minutes or something. When it's the right time
to bring it up. I always find it interesting too,
because you have everyone gone through it themselves or have
friends in their group who have gone through mental health issues.
And sometimes you can they can come across being rude
(04:26):
or angry, can't They people going through their own struggles,
And that's because they're dealing with their own stuff, and
probably there's probably a level of frustration there. I know
that I've had a couple of friends where you're like, well,
I haven't said anything and I've just let them go
completely in a downward spiral, and you've gone, oh, they've
just been in a really shitty mood and I answering
my calls, they're not texting back, they've shut off. And
(04:50):
there's times where I've definitely had a friend pass away,
took his own life and I should have stepped in
multiple times.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
So the morning, you felt like the warning signs were
there for.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
You years, right, for years, and it was more cheese.
It was years ago now, and it was a lot
younger too, and you didn't feel like you had It
was awkward. It was awkward to bring up and it
shouldn't be. Yeah, but there's only speaking truthfully about preaches.
And then even after that fact, you're like, we're going
to be more over all, I was saying, they've been
more open to have more conversations and to be honest, haven't.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
You know it's hard Yeah, oh yeah. I mean I
struggle a lot with my mental health and I don't
talk to people about it, you know, and I don't
have those people that I kind of do, and you know,
and it is a hard thing to bring up, you know,
And you do feel for other people that are going
through that because I think the thing about mental health
is and I've kind of not learned. I'm not an expert,
but it doesn't it doesn't matter if you're successful not
successful we've got, you know, you have celebrities, they've got
(05:44):
millions of dollars like yourself of mental health. It doesn't
mean their mental health is any less you know, important, yeah,
than anyone else who's you know, it's a realis it's
a real problem around the place.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
Isn't that weird though, Because like any other thing you
go to the doctor for, Like I break my arm,
Everyone everyone you know could break their arm. The brain
is just another part of your body that has moments
where it's not working.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Right?
Speaker 3 (06:09):
Why is that? Why does it come with so much stigma?
Speaker 1 (06:13):
I shouldn't And that's why I guess what this week's about, right, Yeah?
Mental health weak? Yeah, yeah, it's.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
It's It is interesting because I I think I probably
struggle with anxiety sometimes. I've had panic attacks and stuff,
but I, for whatever reason, have never gone to a
doctor or anyone to sort it out, which is probably
a huge frustration for my partner. But I like, I
like to arrogantly think I control myself better now, like
(06:41):
I've gone to therapy, but I've never been medicated or
anything like that. And I've never had anyone say, yes,
you have anxiety. But I think I know that it is,
and I've never I don't know why. I don't know
why I've never had the confidence to sort it out.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Yeah. Do you see as a sign of weakness that
a few have to rely on medication or professional help,
because going back to my friend, he would refuse to
take his medication. Yeah, it's like, I don't feel like
I can do this myself.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
Full disclosure. After my divorce, I was on antidepressants and
I didn't like them. They made me feel like really
like spacey. Yeah, and I was trying to do radio
and I felt like I was real like not myself.
So I just went off them cold turkey, which I
now know you're not supposed to do.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
Plus you don't measure, you don't want to become reliant
on them. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
I had just had my all my own thoughts about it,
which was so dumb, and I got the shakes, I
had brain zaps, and I like was physically unwell. And
I told my boss at the time and he was like,
you're not supposed to do that, and he got me
extra help, but I like was just I had no
idea and I was like, I don't want to do
this anymore. So I just went off them. And I've
(07:54):
just always been really I don't know, like in my
head about all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
On the older you get to the the more like
I didn't used to worry about things as much as
I do now, you know, And there's and there's always
reasons why, you you know, like getting arrested at the
airport or getting shows canceled or all those things can
lead to the way you are now. There's always reasons
behind these things. They were like fifteen years ago, this
(08:20):
wouldn't affected me, but now it does because of this
thing I find. It's a big way. And this industry too,
you know. And I don't want to bitch about this,
and because we're fortunate to be in there, but the
TV industry in particular, it has always been the dream
of mine to be TV and radio and have that
huge part of my life just disappear. It has been hugely,
hugely hard for me to get home, and I reckon
(08:41):
most people I thought had my back and were my
mates are not and not I've clearly worked out they're not. No,
they're not. They're not friendly, but they're not they're not
fighting for you in the rooms that you're not in
for and that's been a real hard lesson to learn.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
From me, you know, and we've spoken briefly about it,
and I have.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
The same similar things you know in this industry as well.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
You know, it affix your confidence and who you are
because and like we're totally privileged to be this is
doing heart surgery. It's a very privileged.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
And that's why I feel we're talking about this because
it's come up, mate, You're on the right, you know, Like.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
But I totally know what you mean because we sell
our personalities like we are our own brand. So like
when people say they don't want you, it feels really personal.
It's like we don't like you literally don't want what
I personally bring to the table. So it hurts.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
So like you're not like just a terrible chef, where
like she's that person can't cook. Yeah, yeah, I see
what you're saying.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
Or your specific skill, someone else is better at that
skill than you. It's your personality, you know, Like it's
not personal, it's like it is.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
I get there.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
And I think a lot of people in this industry
and probably many others as well, they put so much
gravitas on who they are as a person, on their
job yeah, you know, you play so much importance on
the success and your happiness and well being for you know,
and that's correlated to how well you're doing in your
professional life. And it shouldn't be the way, but it is.
(10:09):
And in a lot of professions you're like, if I'm
successful in work, then everything's going well in life. It's
not necessary the.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Way, no, And like you see, I always think about
sports people, so they would you know, like say all blacks,
they spend their whole life from when they're young gearing
up to like being this all black and then your
career in terms of careers finishes pretty early, you know,
like you're pre forty usually, and then they're like, well
(10:35):
what next, what next? Because you spend your whole life
focusing on this one thing that ends, you know, and
then you've got to figure out a career path after that.
And you're right, people go into like this mental health
to like battle with what is my worth and what
is my place in the world.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Yeah, well that's and there's not nothing wrong with putting
a whole lot of word your worth and well being
and your professional career because that's you know, for many
people what they're passionate about and their hobby as well.
At the same time you look at like you're talking
about Daniel Ricardo, the Formula one driver. Yeah, for weeks
they've been like he's gonna go. He's terribly set, you know,
and he would.
Speaker 3 (11:10):
Be so in his head at that interview I showed
you where he'd just done the race and he knows,
he knows it probably is his last race in Formula One,
and they're like, how do you feel about it? And
he's like trembling his lips trembling, and he's like, yeah,
I was just trying to save the moment. So this
guy is like you imagine what that must be like.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Yeah, well yeah, it's not just yeah, it's not Formula one,
it's not just me. It's so many that those jobs
that you are.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
Yeah, but I mean he will learn a lot of
money and he's in a privileged position, but he's not
immune to a mental health struggling.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Yeah, it doesn't make it his mental health any less
than in someone else what they're going through as well.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
So being able to think I have separation between the
two parts of your life, the private and professional, is key, Yeah,
absolutely key. Yeah, Like how work's making you feel or
you know how you feel you're doing it work. You've
got to some how leave that at the door and
separate that from your personal life, because that is so special.
What's going on in people's personal life, friends, family and everything.
(12:08):
It's easily taken for granted, I think at times.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
But I also find it weird that we spend so
much of our life around people all the time. Even
in the street, I'm like always thinking we're walking past
all these people, we're all living the same experience, but
I don't. We don't even speak to people, you know, Like,
I find that weird. And then you go to work
and I see all these people.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
Here every day.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Going on.
Speaker 3 (12:34):
We're just like, hey, hey, and like some of the
people out there I've known for years and the only
conversation we ever have is like, how whuch we can?
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Good?
Speaker 1 (12:41):
You're good?
Speaker 3 (12:43):
It's so weird to me.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Yeah. No, Larissa, who works in the promotions department, she said,
for many years, all I would say to is hey,
you go mate, and she'd say good, and then that
was our in direction. Yeah, doesn't go any further than that.
Crazy weird people you see every day you're right like, and.
Speaker 3 (12:58):
You end up seeing them sometimes more in your family,
like that's not natural.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
It's unusual. Yeah, it's very unusual.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
But maybe we should just like try and you know,
talk a bit more. When someone's like obviously not having
a good time, just be like, hey, are you actually okay?
Speaker 2 (13:16):
What do you do when you're having a bad time?
You can't say drinking?
Speaker 1 (13:21):
What do I do specifically?
Speaker 3 (13:23):
You can't say drinking.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
I've been getting against I find like there's a lot
of thing for me in routine, like fresh air, exercise,
those things, you know, like just to trying to do that,
so things at least if I do some exercise, at
least it's something I feel like I can control and
I feel better for doing. You know, it doesn't solve
the world's problems, but at least I've just done that.
Because if you don't exercise or something, I feel like, oh,
that's another thing I now had to my list of things.
(13:49):
I'm like, I haven't done that either, done this other
thing you know in your environment.
Speaker 3 (13:54):
That's like Jazz Thornton's another day, like she was like, oh,
I hate it, but exercise is really good, and it
is like, you know, it's good for you. It actually
like releases good chemicals into the brain and.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
You've achieved something too, You're fine with that and.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
Just like focused your mind on yourself.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
Switching off your brain is something I was really struggling
to do. Yeah, to be or to be honest, because
that's just you know, with this job, all you're thinking
about is ideas, and all you're thinking about is content
when it's making you know, see, all you're doing all
for your life is you know, making videos and things
and its content. And then so that I use I
think you know, the times I have been to talk
to someone professionally, they're like, you're still you're using that
(14:31):
part of your brain to other things as well. You know,
you're going to those places that maybe because your brain's
just working over time because that's what you're used to
in your job. So you're probably thinking about all these
things that can potentially go wrong or other things in there. Yeah,
in those situations because your brain you used to. Your
brain's just like cool, let's let's go through a hundred
different things that you know that could happen to what happened,
(14:51):
might happen or do you know it's yeah, and that's
you know, it's fine when it's a work situation. But
when it's other stuff, you just go into those places.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
You go to worst case scenario every time, and that's.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
A huge yeah. But I because of traun me pa,
I didn't you know, I didn't go to worst case
scenario for the airport and then then learned that one
the hard way, you know, And you know, I went
that with the court case and huge fines and losing
work and like having the mortgage up for you know,
all this stuff and putting you know, straining on relationships
with friends and people colleagues and putting them through shit,
(15:22):
and it was that was worst case scenario for me,
and then being all over the media. So I was like, well,
that can happen for something that I didn't foresay, and
then I'm going to force I'm gonna put everything through
that folks now, you know. And so and as I
said before that I wouldn't have gone to that place.
But because of that, that means I'm like that now,
So there's a reason I guess for.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
Something really horrible and like you were worse than me.
But like when your name gets put that up there
and everyone's allowed to comment on you and your situation,
and you know what, you did, like the public is
shirts shirt. When everyone has a comment about you personally
and it's like a free for all, it is the
(16:03):
most horrible thing and it tears you down in the
most horrendous way. Were you look inside yourself and you're like,
does anyone actually like me?
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Like?
Speaker 3 (16:13):
Am I good at this? Like you know, like you
have this really raw, horrible moment where because you read
the comments, especially when you've got something public like what
Ben went through, and then.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
You look at someone like poor bloody Reagan, Yeah from
something as simil as breakdown yea.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
And the hate that she got for that, and yeah,
but now you go, well, how is she? How is
your mental health? It would not be good and your
She was out there just to spread joy and then
to be involved in something.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
You know. And also what she did, she didn't break
the law. She made us laugh. Like I think we
as a show come at those kind of things from
a very empathetic standpoint. It's like like even with the
Dave Grohl thing, I'm like, I mean, he didn't break
the law. Again, he broke the contract with his wife.
He screwed up, so he needs to they need to
(17:04):
deal with It's not for me to be like, you're
a terrible human because he's getting that anyway.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
Yeah, that's the other There's so much opinion everywhere which
can affect people too. Even you fall down rabbit holes
of information on TikTok and that can deeply affect your
mental health. You know, I've got a friend who falls
down those rabbit holes and you have really changed really
just from information just constantly coming at them. And because
(17:31):
he's clicked on one or two videos, now they think, oh,
this is the type of content he enjoys, so he
thinks that's his world. And then you get sucked into
this vortex of and you've got to pull yourself out,
go outside, get some exercise.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
And you're right like the media and the internet can't
be trusted because they build an algorithm around what you're
looking at, so you get into a little like bubble
of certain content and it's not Actually I don't.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
Want to talk here, transplants. I clicked on one ad
once just out of interest. What was going to happen?
I think the world has changed a lot where it
would have been interesting to see statistics on mental health
and not again years ago, eighties, nineties, wasn't spoken about
as much, but whether there were as many mental health
problems as there are nowadays, with the environments that were
(18:21):
in there.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
All people just told like, you know, sir John killing you.
I hugely admire what he's done, you know, like he
was being an all black. It was traditionally staunch, you
know that all those sort of things that we now
know shouldn't be the case. Yeahd make it out there.
He was suffering from it and probably is still, you know,
but to come out publicly and to talk about what
he's going through it's usually brave. Yeah, and to go hey,
(18:42):
you know, I'm not okay and stuff.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
It was.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
It was amazing what he's done and has continues to do.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
You know, he would be a pioneer yeah for that. Yeah,
in this country anyway.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
You're right, But back then there's probably other people and
the team going through the same sort of stuff might
not brave enough to talk about it, you know.
Speaker 3 (18:57):
So yeah, I mean, you're right, everything has changed so much,
but like you can, the best thing we could do
is talk about it, just talk about how.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
But it's hard, Yeah, And I guess its hard because
I don't preach always what what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
That's the thing. I sometimes feel typocritical where you're like
go and talk to it and being listening here when
you're like, well, I probably don't do that enough with
my own friend group. So it's something that you need
to be active on, isn't it.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
But also like, rather than being like, well I just
need to go and listen to someone else, maybe you
can start by like talking to them about you first
and being more vulnerable with you, and then they will
feel safe to do it back. I don't know that
it's good.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
And sometimes when you start the conversation, the starting of
is the most daunting. As soon as you're in the conversation,
it's absolutely fine.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
Like this, we're all like, oh god, what are we
going to do?
Speaker 1 (19:50):
What are we going to talk about? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (19:52):
True, you had a fifty to fifty split on this
at the top. Where are your thoughts now?
Speaker 1 (19:55):
Mate?
Speaker 2 (19:56):
Where you're sitting? Percentage was a minutes.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
I don't. Yeah, I go around in circles because I'm
kind of like, who, we're not expert? What do you
shut up? You know? In my head, I'm like, again,
my brain's going shut up, just shut up. What are
you saying? You don't know? You know, do you know
what that is.
Speaker 3 (20:09):
That's from what you've experienced in the past. You're reading
those comments back in your mind about what you're doing now,
because I get that too every time I talk now
or think, you know, that's what you know, like, yeah,
I don't like listening back to anything I've done on
here because I'm like, who wants to listen to you?
Just shut up? Like you suck?
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Like you know all of that Poster syndrome. It's a
huge thing, you know, like when you don't feel like, yeah,
you're quite you know, like you still I still get that,
you know most most weeks, you know, when you're like,
oh jeez, I felt like I'm I meant to be here,
and I guess we're coming from things when your confidence
is low. We're getting knocked back again, that rejection thing,
and it makes that stuff worse. It's just a cycle
(20:49):
of like, you know, you can see what it happens, but.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
There's a finalite of using that as a driver too,
isn't it imposter syndrome? Yeah, yeah, it's having that balance
in your head of that's what makes you strive to
keep working hard in whatever industry you're in or whatever
you're trying to achieve in life.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
But like, I get my imposter syndrome. But to hear
you say that, I'm like, you guys have had like
a very long career and media. You're very well recognized
for all of the successful things you've done. Like, I
don't understand your imposter syndrome, do you know what I mean?
I'm like, why are you going forward? Being like, oh,
I've got to know here, And I'm like, how many
(21:25):
yearses have you had though? And how much success have
you had? You know? And even the airport scenario where
it ended up getting you, you know, all of that
went down, it was in the first instance, it was
still very entertaining, Like do you know what I mean?
And I don't know if I'll get in trouble for
saying that, but it was it was a great idea
and it was entertaining. And you mean, well, well it wasn't.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
It was never exactly at which I should have thought
through a lot more.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
But yeah, your intentions were to entertain people, and you did,
and you've had a very successful career subsequently. So yeah,
Like to hear other people talk about imposter syndrome, you're
always like what, Yeah, Like Taylor Stoft Scott Imposter syndrome,
and everyone does.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
Everyone does. Yeah, No, one probably feels like they need,
they deserve to be where they are what they're doing. Yeah,
we're all just been making our way through life, making
things up, aren't we.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
I've got a theory that no one in this business
knows actually what they're doing.
Speaker 3 (22:21):
A lot of people generally in life don't know. Like
a kid and I've got two kids, you.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
Just got to say things with confidence.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
So do your parenting with confidence.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
She's got a ship together. That's the key life doesn't
that deal with confidence. But they're also the half thingcause
you can't keep living in the past either to move forward.
Spoke to die today again. We quote him all the time,
Die Henwood, and he's like, you can't control what's even
in the past. You don't know what's coming in the future.
All you can do is be living in this moment
that you're in right now. Obviously, you can organize yourself
(22:55):
in some regard, put people up at three o'clock from school,
or you know, you just got to live in what
you're doing now. This is all you can control. What
we're doing right now. You know that's a that's a
really simple, nice way to look at life.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Yeah, again, it's yeah, it's great. I try and be
better at that, but I do struggle with that.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
But yeah, yeah, I'm it as easy as such.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
Yeah, but it's great. It's a great way to be
and if you can do it, I love to it,
you know, like more.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
And there's not to say, don't learn from what's happened
in the past. Yeah, but you can't change it now. Yeah.
All you can do is control what you're doing now.
Really does simplify things down and worrying about stuff that's
happening in the future it hasn't happened yet, Yeah, so
you can't change what's going to happen. Right.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
Well, I find my kids help me with that because
they're still little, so everything's like blows their mind. So,
like we find a ladybug out in the backyard and
it's like the coolest.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
Yeah, I want to see it.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
I'm just like, yeah, it is pretty cool. It's like
really shiny blue, you know, like like simplifying life down
to like, man, the sun feels good on my skin. Yeah, wow,
look at that shiny lady you know, Like.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
John Kellen talks about that again. He talks about the
coff his coffee in the morning and a shower. Yeah,
those are the two things where he takes a moment
to go, Okay, I'm going to feel the water on
my back and I'm taking a moment and it's hot
and it's nice and that's my and whatever it is.
He's like, it might not be the shower of the
coffee for you, maybe anything else, but the thing it
may be the appreciate the sun or whatever it is.
You know, you go, okay, that's it's just a moment
(24:21):
to go okay, Yeah, that's cool. I get to do
that and then just have a sip for me and
it's good and this is my moment.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
You know. I like. Yeah, But you know, my wife
was saying she went to some therapy and stuff. And
if you're in a moment too, you can just go
breathe in and then hold your finger and your thaw
four thumb together and then work your thumb down your
fingers and taking a breath in each time, so you
do eight in total, and that apparently recalibrates yourself if
(24:48):
you're in a fluster. Yeah, that was a really terrible
thing to describe in an audio form. I saw you
doing it Fingerbase, just think of you. Yeah, you're gonna
have to do a lot of man making up there.
Speaker 3 (24:59):
Yeah, want to die. I say, he has a cold shower.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
And he's temperature.
Speaker 3 (25:03):
Yeah, that's clearly the shock of yeah cold water.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
Yeah, obviously a shower handy for that hum in the ocean.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
Yeah, I guess that would kind of work as well.
Speaker 3 (25:13):
Well.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
I don't know if this has been helpful at all
for anyone, but it's it's been.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
It has been. It has just hearing someone like you
and John O like open up about yourself vulnerability.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
Yeah. It's not something that comes naturally. Yeah, but it's
nice to Yeah, I guess to put it out there,
and it's great. It's a great week to be talking
about the sorts of stuff.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
So if you are going through an other stuff, we
are thinking of you, and if you have people you
can talk to, it's a really good place to start.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
I thought, I just played this music. I don't know
else We're going to end it here, we go
Popular Podcasts
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.