September 18, 2024 • 10 mins
We chat to Julia a private investigator specialising in infidelity, scams, and child custody!
- The sure fire sign your partner is cheating...
- What causes repeat offenders
- Her CRAZIEST story that involves nudity!
- What is the common reason someone strays?
- And most importantly... Can she find Ben's missing sock?
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
With the John and Ben Podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Cheers to Dilma making the world a bitter tea.
Speaker 3 (00:06):
Good morning to you, Julia, good morning.
Speaker 4 (00:09):
Lovely to have you, lovely to hear you adults at
tones again?
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Oh please?
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Have you missed us or you've been privately investigating us?
Speaker 3 (00:16):
On the side, I'm always investigating you, guys.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
You know that you found.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
Whole pile of sock?
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Have you found my sock? Julia? Because you know we've
got touch with you, like, look for my sock? Have
you found it?
Speaker 3 (00:31):
I found more than your sock?
Speaker 5 (00:33):
Got some dirty laundry? Is the main reason why people
get in touch with you.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Let's put socks aside for the moment. What's the main
reason people get in touch with you?
Speaker 3 (00:46):
Because they know something's wrong, They feel it with every
sense of their body, no matter what it is, and
they just want someone to confirm it for them.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
What percentage of people who come to you with an
inkling are actually correct?
Speaker 3 (01:03):
Pretty much? Ninety nine percent?
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Wow?
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
But the one thing is, and I don't know whether
I've mentioned this to you guys before, the reason probably
we tend to talk about men more, or people assume
men play around more, which they don't women play around
just as much men. Oh look, you're onto it, but
and guys just they are the ones that don't have
(01:28):
a plan and they get that's why they get caught,
whereas women tend not to get caught.
Speaker 4 (01:33):
So women are harder to catch.
Speaker 6 (01:35):
So do you get to the percentage of your clientele
Is it a split between you know, men and women
coming to you to investigate their partners or.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
Well, it's probably more women because they because men don't
realize it, but they give the show away quite quickly,
quite easily. They'll say things, and they'll say things that
make a woman think, oh, I wasn't even thinking about that,
but now you've mention of that. Maybe I should, you know,
whereas a woman knows, try and keep your behavior, this
(02:05):
behavior the same as it's always been. And if you
want to talk about it, talk about it to a girlfriend.
So you're not going to say anything you shouldn't at home.
Speaker 4 (02:13):
Women's intuition, she was the problems. We're dealing with the
smartest species and we cannot compect.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
Look, I'm do you know what? I'd like that to
go on record because that is actually the truth. And
I think as time goes on, more people will really
realize that.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
Alside, like men aren't. You're not great at picking up
on the cues, even down to you know, like us
dropping him and what we want for our birthday or whatever.
You're just not really picking up on the hints. So
that I guess that's part of it too.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
Oh totally. Look, you know, you know yourself. You could
come home and you've changed your hair or you've done
something and you and your husband or your significant other
just wouldn't even notice until you say, what do you think?
And they oh, well, I was going to mention that,
you know, as if they did notice it, but of
course if they didn't. So that is why women pick
up on subtle little things, really subtle things that men
(03:07):
just don't. And and look, we do deal with a
lot of men, but often they'll come to us when
it's perhaps the affair or the relationship is coming to
an end, because that's how long it takes them to
pick up on the cues. And I'm not and I'm
not being disparaging or it is just a fact of
the difference is between the sexes, that's all.
Speaker 6 (03:26):
What what is then? You know, you've caught so many
cheetahs over the years. What what is the common the
common theme, the common reason that people stray from the relationship.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
I think it's, well, look it's I think it's in
your DNA because often and other the way you say,
I have been doing this. I run the company, My
investigators are out there doing the catching.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
Don't get your hands dirty.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
I'm not silly, but I think what it is we
find it's I think it's more in your DNA, A
bit like people like Tiger Woods. You know, people like
that that it's there no matter what you do, it's
not going to stop. So I have clients that repeat clients,
and they might have started I've been doing this for
thirty years now, so they may have started off in
(04:13):
their thirties coming to me, but still dealing with the
same thing, you know, thirty years later. And what we
find as people get older stick. If you put up
with this, and you continually put up with it, and
you try and forgive and make it work, and that
your partner knows you can get away with it, usually
at the end they do leave you for the love
(04:36):
of one of their flings. They actually do leave you.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
What do you think about the old adage once to cheat,
it always a cheatah cheatah ever changes as spots.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
I think cheetahs can change their spots because but it
comes down to something really simple. You know, we do
a lot of Christmas parties and you see some odd
stuff going on.
Speaker 6 (04:56):
You do awkward conversation, not knowing how you to talk
to your boss, that sort of stuff.
Speaker 5 (05:01):
Probably more other than that, but that's right, that's slightly odd.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
And the thing is, it's you know, we had one
guy that did do something that he shouldn't have. But
what I thought was so good about him? Has he
actually fested up to his wife and he said, I
totally screwed up. I really did, And he told her
now that marriage survived and that marriage is fine. It's
really good. It actually got stronger because he fessed up.
(05:26):
She didn't have to find out, she didn't have to
plead with him to go to counseling. You know, he
made all the changes himself on his own. And that's
where you know you have got someone who is going
to work it out and not do it again.
Speaker 5 (05:41):
So you've got people obviously that work for you finding
evidence and stuff. What sort of evidence are they finding?
Is it sort of like they're taking photos? Was sitting
outside people's properties. I mean, how does that sort of
work these days?
Speaker 3 (05:52):
Well, it's interesting because the privacy actor is pretty tight here.
So the one thing that does work is surveillance, you know,
the eye on it. It is the best form of
investigating is to have the eyes of the investigator on
the subject. So it's actually, yeah, it's surveillance that's what
turns up everything. And like I say, at Christmas parties,
(06:12):
people tend to have a few drinks and wander out
to the car park and you know, open the car
door and perhaps keep their foot in the car with
leaves the lights on, and kisses someone that they shouldn't be.
It's you know, it's easy stuff like that, and bang,
there's your photo, there's your that's it.
Speaker 6 (06:30):
Has there been an instance where you've been on a
case and you've been tailing the person it's like, oh, no,
they just have a secret addiction to badminton or something
that they didn't want to share.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
Well funny you say that, because we had one case
that was quite funny where this guy would go through
a child's playground into the bushes and disappear and my
one of my investigators looked like a Viking, and he said,
I can't hang around here. I look like a bloody pedophile.
And but anyway, he followed this guy, and this guy
went on a twenty minute bushwalk out to a nudist speech.
(07:01):
And he for twenty five years had been married and
he was going to this nudist speech. His wife had
no idea he was a neudist, and so.
Speaker 4 (07:10):
Well the positive he wasn't having an a fear.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
That's right, he was just running around naked.
Speaker 4 (07:15):
Yeah, they wee, she might be into it. It must
be heart it must be heartbreaking for you.
Speaker 6 (07:22):
And I imagine it doesn't get any easier having to
go back to the person and confirm their their worst fear.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
Well fun, but you see, it's not really because that's
what I said in the beginning. These people actually know
they they have They have lived with this for months
or years before they call me. They really thought long
and hard about calling a private investigator. And it's got
to the point where they to save their sanity because
they've been guessed that they just know they need to
(07:50):
do something. And so for them it's like a relief
that they know, oh my god, I'm not nuts after all.
Speaker 6 (07:57):
Right, Yeah, what's one thing, one sure fire sign someone's straying.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
I was going to say, taking your phone into the toilet,
taking your phone everywhere you go, not allowing you've been
super protective of your phone, or deleting, deleting, deleting. You know,
that's that's that's pretty much because hey, look the old adage,
if you've got nothing to hide, you hide nothing great.
Speaker 5 (08:24):
Editge What if I'm planning a surprise party or something
like that, Oh, this Dick's coming through.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
What if that's you.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
Know, but you know what the thing is. You know
when there's something right and something wrong. You know, when
there's something wrong in your marriage or in your relationship,
you instinctively feel it and you just but you'll keep
trying to deny it and trying to justify it. But
I think we all know when things are not going right,
and no matter how much you want them to be better,
(08:51):
if that niggel just doesn't go away, you know you've
got to do something about it.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (08:56):
And and do people go to extreme links high affairs?
Speaker 3 (09:02):
Women do?
Speaker 4 (09:03):
Do they what's the most extreme cases?
Speaker 3 (09:06):
I think they kind of women just you always usually
get the help of a girlfriend, and that's a great
cover because you know, the girl's night out or the
girl's going away to the batch, or the girls are
doing this and it's not the girls at all. It's
only one only one girl really, so.
Speaker 4 (09:22):
The girls week in we need to be I'm more
suspicious of girls.
Speaker 3 (09:26):
Girls are really, you know, because look, you know as
a woman that we have great friendships, deep friendships with
our friends where you can tell them anything, and you
can disclose stuff, and you talk about stuff. You go
right down into the depths of situations where men tend
to flitter around on top on the surface, they don't
really go deep, whereas women go deep.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
I've got to bury my body. Friend, a friend that's
going to help me bury your body if I need
to one day.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
Well, we all have those friends, Yes we do.
Speaker 4 (09:58):
Yeah, she told us the first day she was working
with us too.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Which ye kind of put us off a little bit.
Speaker 4 (10:03):
But anyway, so we might be hiring your services.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
Well, my husband keeps wondering why there these humps in
our gardens odd mound and I have been married four times.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
Trying to mow the lawn.
Speaker 5 (10:18):
Private investigator, Thank you so much for your time, but
answer our questions.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
We really do appreciate it.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
You guys are welcome
With the John and Ben Podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Cheers to Dilma making the world a bitter tea.
Speaker 3 (00:06):
Good morning to you, Julia, good morning.
Speaker 4 (00:09):
Lovely to have you, lovely to hear you adults at
tones again?
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Oh please?
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Have you missed us or you've been privately investigating us?
Speaker 3 (00:16):
On the side, I'm always investigating you, guys.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
You know that you found.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
Whole pile of sock?
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Have you found my sock? Julia? Because you know we've
got touch with you, like, look for my sock? Have
you found it?
Speaker 3 (00:31):
I found more than your sock?
Speaker 5 (00:33):
Got some dirty laundry? Is the main reason why people
get in touch with you.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Let's put socks aside for the moment. What's the main
reason people get in touch with you?
Speaker 3 (00:46):
Because they know something's wrong, They feel it with every
sense of their body, no matter what it is, and
they just want someone to confirm it for them.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
What percentage of people who come to you with an
inkling are actually correct?
Speaker 3 (01:03):
Pretty much? Ninety nine percent?
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Wow?
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
But the one thing is, and I don't know whether
I've mentioned this to you guys before, the reason probably
we tend to talk about men more, or people assume
men play around more, which they don't women play around
just as much men. Oh look, you're onto it, but
and guys just they are the ones that don't have
(01:28):
a plan and they get that's why they get caught,
whereas women tend not to get caught.
Speaker 4 (01:33):
So women are harder to catch.
Speaker 6 (01:35):
So do you get to the percentage of your clientele
Is it a split between you know, men and women
coming to you to investigate their partners or.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
Well, it's probably more women because they because men don't
realize it, but they give the show away quite quickly,
quite easily. They'll say things, and they'll say things that
make a woman think, oh, I wasn't even thinking about that,
but now you've mention of that. Maybe I should, you know,
whereas a woman knows, try and keep your behavior, this
(02:05):
behavior the same as it's always been. And if you
want to talk about it, talk about it to a girlfriend.
So you're not going to say anything you shouldn't at home.
Speaker 4 (02:13):
Women's intuition, she was the problems. We're dealing with the
smartest species and we cannot compect.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
Look, I'm do you know what? I'd like that to
go on record because that is actually the truth. And
I think as time goes on, more people will really
realize that.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
Alside, like men aren't. You're not great at picking up
on the cues, even down to you know, like us
dropping him and what we want for our birthday or whatever.
You're just not really picking up on the hints. So
that I guess that's part of it too.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
Oh totally. Look, you know, you know yourself. You could
come home and you've changed your hair or you've done
something and you and your husband or your significant other
just wouldn't even notice until you say, what do you think?
And they oh, well, I was going to mention that,
you know, as if they did notice it, but of
course if they didn't. So that is why women pick
up on subtle little things, really subtle things that men
(03:07):
just don't. And and look, we do deal with a
lot of men, but often they'll come to us when
it's perhaps the affair or the relationship is coming to
an end, because that's how long it takes them to
pick up on the cues. And I'm not and I'm
not being disparaging or it is just a fact of
the difference is between the sexes, that's all.
Speaker 6 (03:26):
What what is then? You know, you've caught so many
cheetahs over the years. What what is the common the
common theme, the common reason that people stray from the relationship.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
I think it's, well, look it's I think it's in
your DNA because often and other the way you say,
I have been doing this. I run the company, My
investigators are out there doing the catching.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
Don't get your hands dirty.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
I'm not silly, but I think what it is we
find it's I think it's more in your DNA, A
bit like people like Tiger Woods. You know, people like
that that it's there no matter what you do, it's
not going to stop. So I have clients that repeat clients,
and they might have started I've been doing this for
thirty years now, so they may have started off in
(04:13):
their thirties coming to me, but still dealing with the
same thing, you know, thirty years later. And what we
find as people get older stick. If you put up
with this, and you continually put up with it, and
you try and forgive and make it work, and that
your partner knows you can get away with it, usually
at the end they do leave you for the love
(04:36):
of one of their flings. They actually do leave you.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
What do you think about the old adage once to cheat,
it always a cheatah cheatah ever changes as spots.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
I think cheetahs can change their spots because but it
comes down to something really simple. You know, we do
a lot of Christmas parties and you see some odd
stuff going on.
Speaker 6 (04:56):
You do awkward conversation, not knowing how you to talk
to your boss, that sort of stuff.
Speaker 5 (05:01):
Probably more other than that, but that's right, that's slightly odd.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
And the thing is, it's you know, we had one
guy that did do something that he shouldn't have. But
what I thought was so good about him? Has he
actually fested up to his wife and he said, I
totally screwed up. I really did, And he told her
now that marriage survived and that marriage is fine. It's
really good. It actually got stronger because he fessed up.
(05:26):
She didn't have to find out, she didn't have to
plead with him to go to counseling. You know, he
made all the changes himself on his own. And that's
where you know you have got someone who is going
to work it out and not do it again.
Speaker 5 (05:41):
So you've got people obviously that work for you finding
evidence and stuff. What sort of evidence are they finding?
Is it sort of like they're taking photos? Was sitting
outside people's properties. I mean, how does that sort of
work these days?
Speaker 3 (05:52):
Well, it's interesting because the privacy actor is pretty tight here.
So the one thing that does work is surveillance, you know,
the eye on it. It is the best form of
investigating is to have the eyes of the investigator on
the subject. So it's actually, yeah, it's surveillance that's what
turns up everything. And like I say, at Christmas parties,
(06:12):
people tend to have a few drinks and wander out
to the car park and you know, open the car
door and perhaps keep their foot in the car with
leaves the lights on, and kisses someone that they shouldn't be.
It's you know, it's easy stuff like that, and bang,
there's your photo, there's your that's it.
Speaker 6 (06:30):
Has there been an instance where you've been on a
case and you've been tailing the person it's like, oh, no,
they just have a secret addiction to badminton or something
that they didn't want to share.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
Well funny you say that, because we had one case
that was quite funny where this guy would go through
a child's playground into the bushes and disappear and my
one of my investigators looked like a Viking, and he said,
I can't hang around here. I look like a bloody pedophile.
And but anyway, he followed this guy, and this guy
went on a twenty minute bushwalk out to a nudist speech.
(07:01):
And he for twenty five years had been married and
he was going to this nudist speech. His wife had
no idea he was a neudist, and so.
Speaker 4 (07:10):
Well the positive he wasn't having an a fear.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
That's right, he was just running around naked.
Speaker 4 (07:15):
Yeah, they wee, she might be into it. It must
be heart it must be heartbreaking for you.
Speaker 6 (07:22):
And I imagine it doesn't get any easier having to
go back to the person and confirm their their worst fear.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
Well fun, but you see, it's not really because that's
what I said in the beginning. These people actually know
they they have They have lived with this for months
or years before they call me. They really thought long
and hard about calling a private investigator. And it's got
to the point where they to save their sanity because
they've been guessed that they just know they need to
(07:50):
do something. And so for them it's like a relief
that they know, oh my god, I'm not nuts after all.
Speaker 6 (07:57):
Right, Yeah, what's one thing, one sure fire sign someone's straying.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
I was going to say, taking your phone into the toilet,
taking your phone everywhere you go, not allowing you've been
super protective of your phone, or deleting, deleting, deleting. You know,
that's that's that's pretty much because hey, look the old adage,
if you've got nothing to hide, you hide nothing great.
Speaker 5 (08:24):
Editge What if I'm planning a surprise party or something
like that, Oh, this Dick's coming through.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
What if that's you.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
Know, but you know what the thing is. You know
when there's something right and something wrong. You know, when
there's something wrong in your marriage or in your relationship,
you instinctively feel it and you just but you'll keep
trying to deny it and trying to justify it. But
I think we all know when things are not going right,
and no matter how much you want them to be better,
(08:51):
if that niggel just doesn't go away, you know you've
got to do something about it.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (08:56):
And and do people go to extreme links high affairs?
Speaker 3 (09:02):
Women do?
Speaker 4 (09:03):
Do they what's the most extreme cases?
Speaker 3 (09:06):
I think they kind of women just you always usually
get the help of a girlfriend, and that's a great
cover because you know, the girl's night out or the
girl's going away to the batch, or the girls are
doing this and it's not the girls at all. It's
only one only one girl really, so.
Speaker 4 (09:22):
The girls week in we need to be I'm more
suspicious of girls.
Speaker 3 (09:26):
Girls are really, you know, because look, you know as
a woman that we have great friendships, deep friendships with
our friends where you can tell them anything, and you
can disclose stuff, and you talk about stuff. You go
right down into the depths of situations where men tend
to flitter around on top on the surface, they don't
really go deep, whereas women go deep.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
I've got to bury my body. Friend, a friend that's
going to help me bury your body if I need
to one day.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
Well, we all have those friends, Yes we do.
Speaker 4 (09:58):
Yeah, she told us the first day she was working
with us too.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Which ye kind of put us off a little bit.
Speaker 4 (10:03):
But anyway, so we might be hiring your services.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
Well, my husband keeps wondering why there these humps in
our gardens odd mound and I have been married four times.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
Trying to mow the lawn.
Speaker 5 (10:18):
Private investigator, Thank you so much for your time, but
answer our questions.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
We really do appreciate it.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
You guys are welcome
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