Full Show Podcast: 25 November 2024

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:09):
You're listening to a podcast from News talks'd be follow
this and our wide range of podcast now on iHeartRadio.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
Hello you, great New Zealanders, Welcome to the Matin Tyler
Podcast for Monday, the twenty fifth of November and the
Year of Our Lord twenty twenty for just a month
away from Christmas. And we thought we'd get stuck into vaping.
I'm now going to have to go into witness relocation.
After me coming out and saying maybe we're freaking out
a little bit too much about vaping, the text machine

(00:39):
fired up with wet lang and lang and you're irresponsible
and some angry phone calls. But it was a great
chat of all time.

Speaker 3 (00:46):
Great chat. Yeah, angry people, and it's been nice. We're
going with you, mate, when you go into witness protection,
we'll get you out broadcasting studio there and enjoy it.

Speaker 2 (00:54):
Enjoy And then Tyler we went to the Land of
Love and had a fantastic conversation after a great article
in The Herald from a thirty year veteran of psychology
and what he's learned about relationships, and he's basically saying
you need to give up the rom com idea of
love and that you know you're not going to find

(01:15):
that person that's going to be perfect all the time.
And so we talked to a whole lot of people
about that, including Morris, who came in a lot worth,
ten baby mammas and thirteen kids.

Speaker 3 (01:26):
Yeah he's a lover.

Speaker 2 (01:28):
He's a lover, but not a fan of contraception anyway.
Make sure you subscribe to the pot if you like it,
and share it and do those kind of things. But
you enjoy the next two hours. We certainly did and
give them a taste of kiwi from.

Speaker 1 (01:44):
Me talking with you all afternoon. It's Matt Heath and
Taylor Adams Afternoons you for twenty twenty four News Talk
zid be.

Speaker 3 (01:54):
Good afternoon to you. Welcome into Monday Afternoon Matt and
Tyler with you until four pm.

Speaker 2 (01:59):
Ghetto Maddie yet a Tyler. I feel like it didn't
even a weekend. I feel like we were just here
and there we're back. What happened over the weekend.

Speaker 3 (02:04):
It's that time of the year, though, wasn't it how
you started your Christmas shopping?

Speaker 2 (02:08):
If it's the twenty fifth of November, which it is,
that means Christmas by my calculations is roughly a month away.

Speaker 3 (02:14):
Yeah, correct, Yeah, well run.

Speaker 2 (02:15):
So yeah, I'm starting to think about that kind of stuff. Yeah, yeah,
this is an interesting question. But at what age do
you just start telling people what you want for your
Christmas present?

Speaker 3 (02:24):
Oh that's a great topic.

Speaker 2 (02:26):
I think that's better in a relationship, right, do you
just say you put them out of the misery so
they don't waste too much time going and looking for
the prison and you just tell them, Yeah, you tell
them this is what I want.

Speaker 3 (02:34):
Is there anything wrong with giving cash? This is what
I want. Here is the amount of money you need
to buy that thing?

Speaker 2 (02:40):
Yeah, Merry Christmas. Yeah, I mean that doesn't really work
if you've got sheared bank accounts, doesn't it. No. No, Also,
buying Christmas presents doesn't really help if you've got shared
bank accounts because they can see exactly where you've been
spent your money. But I think that if your partner,
the best thing, one of the best things your partner
can do can just list of like send an email
with five things that they possibly want with links to
them with increasing value.

Speaker 3 (03:00):
And put number one their favorite, or just just a mix.

Speaker 2 (03:05):
So there's a bit of mystery but you don't get
something they don't want. Yeah, what's on yours for Christmas?

Speaker 4 (03:09):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (03:10):
What do you give the man that has everything? I don't.
I don't actually, yeah, I don't think I don't need
anything at all. Absolutely no.

Speaker 3 (03:18):
There must be something that you've been high on. You've
got the inflatable tent that's sorted.

Speaker 2 (03:22):
Yeah, no, nothing. I don't need anything. Yeah, I don't
want anything.

Speaker 3 (03:25):
Don't give you anything, Just give me a listen, the
giving is.

Speaker 2 (03:27):
The present as far as I'm concerned. If my kids
just you know, give me a nice card, that's all
I care about. And maybe a pair of shoes. Yeah,
and I don't know, maybe maybe I don't know. A ring,
a gold ring. Yeah, yeah, no, No, I don't want anything.
I don't need anything.

Speaker 3 (03:46):
All right, now onto the show today after three o'clock,
we're gonna have a chat about Scott Razor Robinson. How
is his tenure gone after one year as All Blacks coach.
Started off with a lot of fan fear. Then things
became a bit hairy, and now he maybe steadied the
ship a little bit.

Speaker 2 (04:02):
Yeah that's right. Well, we all wanted him, didn't we
And we were and we were very mean to Fozzy.
I know I was, Yeah, I was very mean to
Fozzy because we wanted Razor in the first place, and
we felt like he wasn't given a fair trial, and
then Fozzy had some hairy results. Now we've got Razor,
he's had a year in the job, and I guess
the question is how much is the difference between what

(04:23):
players you've got and what the coach can do. If
the coach has got if you've got if you've got
Richie McCaw, Karen Reid and Dan Carter and your team,
then you're probably going to go very well. Haven't you
got any other coaches?

Speaker 3 (04:33):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (04:33):
But yeah, what do you think after a year? I mean,
that game against Italy was underwhelming at best, and of
course we lost to South Africa and Argentina and France
in the year. But we are building yep. Really, what
does it matter until we win the World Cup?

Speaker 3 (04:47):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (04:47):
Really, really, that's what we're doing. We've got to look
at how we are in three years from now in
my opinion.

Speaker 3 (04:51):
Yep, looking forward to that chat after three o'clock, After
two o'clock, What does it take to build a successful relationship?
A great story in the Herald Today but what makes
and breaks long term love? Matt, You've got some big
thoughts on this one on what it takes to build
a successful relationship.

Speaker 2 (05:07):
Yeah, this is a really ine article here and it
was a great read. But I think a good relationship
and I'd love to hear what people's thoughts are people
that are in great relationships that have lasted a long time.
One hundred and eighteen eighty nine to nine two is
the text number. But I think you've got people have
got to stop comparing their partner with the fantasy of

(05:28):
the perfect person out here, because that's impossible for anyone
to compare with. We can imagine someone incredible, and we
can imagine if we were single, we would get that person,
but it's just not the case. So you just need
to find someone you like and that you love and
they're two different things, and settle and then just just
invest your time into that person because you can just
you could spend ten years looking for that person scrolling

(05:50):
through the apps. But your partner doesn't have to be
the funniest person you know. They don't have to be
your best mate, they don't have to be your business partner,
they don't have to be your chauffeur. There can be
all these different things that can be different people in
your life. Your partner just has to be someone that
you like and love and then settle and then stop
stop getting angry when they're not the absolute perfect person
in the world.

Speaker 3 (06:10):
Yeah, what do they say about comparison? It's the thief
of joy? Is that what you're talking about? The e can't.

Speaker 2 (06:15):
Yeah, there's a great book by Allan debouton on this
and talking about love and how we have these unrealistic
expectations of the person we're with.

Speaker 3 (06:23):
Yeah, there's going to be a good chet after two o'clopper.
Right now, let's have a chat about vaping.

Speaker 2 (06:27):
Yeah, already making people angry. Just even the mere mention
of the word vaping fires people up. A survey has
found vaping frequency is decreasing. More students have given up
than taking it up in the last year. And I
just want to ask the question on eight hundred and
eighty ten eighty are we freaking out too much about vaping?
And will this have negative consequences? I'm why am I

(06:50):
not worried about it? It's nothing. Look, kids are going
to do some bad stuff, right, and vaping is nothing.
Like the kind of stuff I got up to when
I was a kid. I mean, I was smoking at
a very young age, yeah, and drinking. We're always going
to worry about our kids, But I'd rather my kids
didn't vape. Obviously, I'd rather they didn't vape. I'd rather
they just were absolutely perfect, But rather vape than some
of the other things they can get out there. I'd

(07:10):
rather they release their rebellion on vaping than smoking or
marijuana or something worse. And I think we can run
the risk of losing credibility when we absolutely freak out
as a nation on something as potentially well the words
not innocuous, but compared to other things vaping, And so

(07:32):
kids start to go, what's wrong with society when they're
absolutely freaking about this. We don't even know how bad
it is yet, and we're on there on our kids
asses about their phones, telling them not to vape. You know,
I think, just choose your battles. And I say, I
don't know. I might be wrong, but just vaping is
not one of the things in society that out of

(07:53):
all the things to worry about. I just think we
freak out at it disproportionately.

Speaker 3 (07:57):
Kids are going to be a rebel, and you would
prefer them to rebel with some vapes rather than say
alcohol and certainly cigarettes, And I agree with you there.
I'd far prefer younger people to be in the smoking cigis.

Speaker 2 (08:09):
Yeah, because if you completely get rid of vapes, do
you think kids are going to get rid of their
will to rebel?

Speaker 5 (08:13):
No?

Speaker 3 (08:14):
While they starting to use those zin I think is
the product that's a nicotine product that comes in a
week pouch. You put that in your lip and you
get your nicotine hit.

Speaker 2 (08:22):
Yeah. Well, I mean, you know, as as we all know,
nicotine isn't bad in itself. The problem with nicotine was
how we were taking it. In fact, there's a lot
of advantages in nicotine, but the problem was that the
nicotine was coming with cigarettes which were killing people.

Speaker 6 (08:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (08:37):
So I don't know. I just I think people have
to be realistic about this and that kids are gonna
do naughty stuff. They have to rebel in some way.
It's a it's a state as old as time. So
you just got to think of the unforeseen circumstances. If
you really crack down on vaping, what are they going
to do? They're gonna find something else and you're going
to freak out about that.

Speaker 3 (08:57):
Yeah, my only and this is my own personal experience
when it comes to being hooked on nicotine, and I
am and I get a lot of stick about this
that I'm I don't have the will power to quit
or I just need to try a bit harder. But
for whatever reason, for me, I can. It's incredibly hard
to quit nicotine. I quit the ciggies, I jumped on
the vaping. I've tried three times. Why do you need

(09:20):
to quit the nicotine because I don't think it's doing
good things for me anymore. I generally don't so the
amount of nicotine that I have through my vape. And look,
people listening know that we both vape from time to time.
I vape a lot. That was for me to get
off the sigis. But the fact that I've got to
worry when I leave the house and were's my vape?
Is it fully charged? I've I got my juice? Is
it in my pocket? If it's not in my pocket,

(09:41):
I start to worry all of those things. I look
at that and think that's crap doing that.

Speaker 2 (09:46):
I think you're stressing out over nothing.

Speaker 3 (09:49):
Yeah, but for me, it's to get the monkey off
my back. That is all it is. And part of
it is nicotine addiction. Part of it is psychological addiction.
But I for me, and it's just a personal situation.
It is a curse. I rew the day I picked
up a cigarette and go looked on the stuff.

Speaker 2 (10:02):
Well, well that's cool. Good when if you don't want
to do it, you shouldn't do it. And I thoroughly
I'll support you one hundred percent, and your attempts to
stop vaping, I know you will. This is the kind
of freaking out that I'm talking about here. That's just
come through on nine two nine two. This comment about
vaping is the comet of an uneducated and thoroughly irresponsible person.
You are completely wrong. So that's your response to it,

(10:22):
to just absolutely freak out that even someone suggests for
a second that they aren't worried. All I'm saying is
that I'm not particularly worried about. Out of all the
problems in the world that children are facing right now
and young people coming through are facing right now, and
society is facing right now, I think we have an
outsized reaction to vaping. And that text just proves my

(10:43):
point that it's hysteria.

Speaker 3 (10:45):
Oh, eight one hundred eighty t and eighty love to
hear your thoughts on this one. Are we getting a
little bit or freaking out a little bit too much
when it comes to vaping in schools? Nine two ninety
two is the text number. It is sixteen past one
back in a mow.

Speaker 1 (11:02):
The big stories, the big issues, the big trends and
everything in between. That Heathen Adams afternoons you for twenty
twenty four news talks.

Speaker 3 (11:11):
There be news talks. There be eighteen past one. Are
we freaking out a little bit too much as a
nation when it comes to vaping? Across the board? Oh
one hundred and eighteen eighty as the number to call.

Speaker 2 (11:21):
Yeah, let's go to Andrew. Your thoughts please, Yeah.

Speaker 6 (11:28):
Good good.

Speaker 7 (11:29):
I'll start off by saying, I'm a non smoker and
a non vapor good for you, but.

Speaker 4 (11:36):
I I.

Speaker 7 (11:40):
The possible health effects of vaping. I just don't think
it's all that beneficial or or can be beneficial for
you putting that much vapor, which is basically water into
your lungs all the time. And I think people who
vape are getting pigs if you like. Now, my son

(12:05):
whover that old now us spoke when you're a teenager,
and now he vapes. I suspect that it's better, but
he's just as addicted to the vapes as he was
to the smokes. And in the next bread, I have
to say I hate vaping on the motorway. You know,

(12:26):
people in the car in front of me, they opened
the window and they laid out this mess of cloud,
which I inevitably had to drive through, like I have
to breathe in thereafter effects.

Speaker 2 (12:38):
But you would, Andrew, I'm sure you would agree that
you prefer that your son was vaping to smoking cigarettes.
I don't think there's any I don't think there's inn
one out there saying, you know, there hasn't been any
really strong evidence to say that vaping's bad. And of
course that might come through because it hasn't been around
long enough for us to have I guess the longitudinal

(12:58):
studies to find that out. But I think, I mean,
there's no one suggesting that vaping's anywhere near as bad
for you as smoking cigarettes.

Speaker 7 (13:08):
Well, that's that's the thing. I think it is because
it hasn't been around for long enough, we don't know.
I think people who say vaping is terribly bad for you,
or baiting is terribly good for you, and anything in between.
I think they just grasping its struggles because it's new technology.

(13:30):
Quite frankly, we don't know.

Speaker 2 (13:32):
Yeah, but we don't know a lot about a lot
of things we can't sort of do you think it's
healthy too for us to get so worried and spend
so much time freaking out about stuff before we know,
because there's so many things out there we don't know about.
Don't you just shouldn't we wait till we have some
evidence that something's bad and then really worry about it.

Speaker 7 (13:51):
Well, it's not healthy to get worried and freak out
about anything, you know that?

Speaker 2 (13:55):
Agreed?

Speaker 7 (13:56):
Yeah, that's that's the biggest killer that we've got in
this soci idea is you know, it's worse than spoking,
and it's worse than alcohol, and it's it's worse than
dope as people freaking out worry.

Speaker 4 (14:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (14:10):
Yeah. The Cortersold leaders are through the roof with Tyler here,
my co host over here. Love You're like a brother,
but I think you're doing more damage. You're worrying about
your vaping than your actual vaping. You're saying before that,
you freak out if you're leaving the house, it's not there.
You worry about all this kind of stuff. You worry
that you're addicted.

Speaker 3 (14:26):
Then I am addicted, no doubt about it.

Speaker 2 (14:28):
Yeah, but it's being addicted to vaping so bad?

Speaker 3 (14:30):
Well it is if I forget my vape.

Speaker 2 (14:32):
Well yeah, I mean okay.

Speaker 3 (14:35):
But no, just just to your point, when we cell
phones first became a big thing and everybody had the
cell phone, remember there was all that evidence that you
should well not evidence claims that you shouldn't sleep with
your cell phone next to your pillow because it does
bad things to your brain, and guys shouldn't have it
in their trouser pocket because you'll never have kids. Again,
that all ended up being bunker. It just wasn't true.
So we freaked up about freaked out about that.

Speaker 2 (14:56):
What about microwaves, I mean, we could have everyone was
freaking about microwave ovens. We could have banned microwave ovens.
Not necessarily a bad thing in terms of practicality in
the kitchen. I'm not sure where the microwave oven sits,
but people will really really worry about that. Do you remember, Andrew,
when people were freaking out about televisions and the radiation
coming off televisions.

Speaker 8 (15:15):
Made I'm not that old.

Speaker 9 (15:21):
Yeah, but yeah, there is a tendency for people to
freak out about about technology.

Speaker 6 (15:31):
And you know, Michael microwaves are bad.

Speaker 7 (15:35):
If you don't if you don't keep them inside that
little box and.

Speaker 2 (15:40):
Books in there with your food.

Speaker 7 (15:43):
Yeah yeah, well worse if you put your disticles in there.
But the rest is everything in moderation. But you know,
ever saying my comment about vaping is one we just
don't know. And and too, I hate following cars that

(16:05):
where the person's vaping.

Speaker 4 (16:07):
Got to be.

Speaker 7 (16:08):
Fair, you know, I thought, I'm following you Tyler, I
don't want to be breathing your expirations.

Speaker 2 (16:13):
Yeah, but I mean Tyler could argue that when you
pass them, you've got a little bit of stuff coming
out your exhaust pipe that he doesn't want to breathe
as well.

Speaker 7 (16:20):
Well, Adam, I stongking great V eight there's probably quite
a bit.

Speaker 3 (16:23):
Yeah, bet Andrew, you're a good man. Thanks for giving
us a buzz text here. I had to get off
the vapes after years because I found spending half the
workday in the bathrooms vaping up a storm, couldn't go
ten minutes without it, felt like it was taking over
my life.

Speaker 2 (16:38):
Oh well, then an easy cure for that, allow people
to vape at their desks for it. Yeah, I mean,
I'm absolutely saying that that there's problems with vaping and
it can and you know, as you say, you freak
out when you leave the house and you have a
nick when you miss out on your nicotine, you have
a down buss. I'm saying that, sure, there's everything's got
good and bad to it, and maybe vaping has got
more good than bad. But I'm just thinking about the

(16:59):
energy that we use and and focus on the amount
of freaking out we're doing on kids vaping. I just
don't get to that level with it. I just think
that there's so many other things that are a problem
for children right now compared to vaping. And you know, look,
I wouldn't want to see a nine year old vaping.
But I'm just talking about like the study he is

(17:19):
talking about students. They're talking about sort of later teens
and into their twenties.

Speaker 3 (17:24):
Now, yep, nicely said, oh, eight hundred and eighty, ten eighty,
love to hear your thoughts on this one. Nine two
nine two. It's the text number.

Speaker 2 (17:30):
It's twenty four past one.

Speaker 1 (17:34):
Digging into the issues that affect you the Mike Hosking Breakfast.

Speaker 2 (17:38):
I think the worst was sticking a number next to it,
because twenty nine just reminds you there were twenty eight
other times it didn't quite come together the way they thought.

Speaker 10 (17:45):
Well, we have had it has been a necessary negotiation.

Speaker 2 (17:50):
So what is it? Is it behavior related? Is it
how they teach, what they teach, what's happened?

Speaker 11 (17:56):
I think it's a whole combination effects.

Speaker 2 (17:59):
Back tomorrow at six am The Mic Hosking Breakfast with
Mayley's Real Estate News Talk ZB. We're talking about vaping.
A study has found that people are taking it up,
then are giving it up.

Speaker 12 (18:10):
Now.

Speaker 2 (18:11):
I'm not freaked out about vaping, but there's a lot
of people on nine two nine two and one hundred
and eighty ten eighty that really want me to freak
out about it. High Team. Really enjoy your show. I
believe vaping is much better option than SIGs. I also
think live and let live with this. To be honest,
alcohol calls is way more problems for health than vaping.
I enjoy vaping as it calms me down. Nicotine helps me,

(18:31):
shears Sam. There's a lot of evidence for the benefits
of nicotine, which we can go into later. But let's
go to the phone. So have we got here, Julia.
You're a teacher.

Speaker 13 (18:41):
I am a teacher, and I would like to give
you my perspective on vaping in schools.

Speaker 2 (18:46):
I'd love to hear it.

Speaker 14 (18:47):
Yep.

Speaker 13 (18:47):
First of all, students will go ask to go off
to the bathroom.

Speaker 7 (18:51):
They will vape.

Speaker 13 (18:52):
It sets off fire alarms the whole times in schools,
which can be costly for the school.

Speaker 3 (18:56):
Yeah, that's embarrassing.

Speaker 14 (18:57):
Worst, yes, and.

Speaker 13 (18:59):
Worse than that is that a student will say they
want to go to the bathroom. Sometimes they don't even
do that. They'll just put their face down the front
of their shirt and then they will go off to
the bathroom, come back as white as a ghost, shaking,
almost passing out because they've obviously had way too much
nicotine in one go.

Speaker 7 (19:16):
And then you have to deal with that.

Speaker 13 (19:18):
It's disruptive to your class, not to mention, not that
good for the student.

Speaker 2 (19:22):
Yeah, I mean, in my defense, it was Tyler that
added schools to it. He said that my opinion was
based around schools that wasn't actually, But I mean when
I was at school, Julia, I was sneaking off to
smoke cigarettes. I mean, there's always going to be kids
like me that were looking for reasons to rebel. And
I guess my thing is in terms of all the
things that I'm freaking out about, and I'm not saying

(19:44):
vaping is call and I feel for you with the
disruption that's causing your class. I'm just saying, out of
all the things that we spend our energy freaking out
on in society, I'm not sure if vaping is the
one I want to spend my time on.

Speaker 13 (19:57):
I feel like though, that you can get a much
bigger hits of nicotine by vaping than you ever probably
could have by going and having a little bit of
a cigarette or something.

Speaker 12 (20:06):
And that's the problem.

Speaker 13 (20:07):
They literally come back class and you can tell straight
away what they've been up to. They go white as
a sheet. They're shaking sweeting you there. It can't be
good for them.

Speaker 3 (20:18):
Yeah. Well, just on that note, Julia, and I know
the Asthma Foundation is pushing hard for this, and I
actually agree with it. To limit the amount of nicotine
in the vapes. At the moment, it's fifty milligrams, which
is a lot of nicotine. They want to limit it,
limit it to twenty, which you can still get a
hit from if you are an adult that is using
it to get off cigarettes. Is that something you'd be
in favor of.

Speaker 12 (20:40):
Not really in schools.

Speaker 15 (20:41):
No.

Speaker 13 (20:41):
I mean, I'm not a smoker and I'm not a
vapor and I've seen too many people in our extended
family over the years who died of the effects of smoking.
Maybe if vaping's a bit safer, that would be good,
But I really don't think school cold should be vaping.

Speaker 2 (20:58):
I mean, as if I was running a school, if
I was a teacher, also wouldn't allow vaping at school,
because you just can't be doing that kind of thing
in the same way as I wouldn't allow kids chewing
gum and class or you know, you've got to have
rules totally respect that. I guess my point is that
I I just think that kids will find something naughty
to do, and I know that my brain when I

(21:21):
was a teenager was just so focused on rebelling in
any way I can, and I think that vaping is
the current currently the thing they do, and I'm just
glad that that's what they're rebelling with as opposed to cigarettes.

Speaker 13 (21:34):
Yeah, I feel like that maybe if they did put
this nicotine in them, that would be a good start.
But I still can't say I would be in favor
of it. But as you say, some students are going
to try, they'll try everything.

Speaker 14 (21:46):
In the book.

Speaker 2 (21:47):
I'm sure you've seen a lot of that over the years.

Speaker 11 (21:49):
That's what teenagers are exactly.

Speaker 2 (21:52):
And good on you for doing what you do to
bring up our young people. We appreciate that.

Speaker 3 (21:57):
Julia, Thank you very much. Oh one hundred and eighty
ten eighty is the number to call love to hear
from you on this. It is twenty nine to two.

Speaker 16 (22:07):
You talk said be headlines with blue bubble taxis, it's
no trouble with a blue bubble. Health New Zealand is
looking at more job cuts as it continues the hunt
to save one point four billion dollars. It last month
approved more than four hundred voluntary redundancy applications. Three men
have been arrested in the Bay of Plenty after a

(22:27):
man hunt for an aggravated burglary that put a person
in hospital and killed a family dog in Kuypra, north
of Auckland. One person's been arrested and another has moderate
injuries after reports of an assault in Addington this morning.
A Kiwi tourist who became sick in the mass outbreak
in Laos that is left six dead and many others

(22:49):
violently ill has returned home. It's thought they drank methanol
lace drinks. Stats and Z says we imported eight point
nine billion dollars of vehicles, parts and accessories in the
year to October. In New Zealand expects its first half
earnings to drop. It's putting some of it down to
globe engine maintenance delays as well as a shortage of aircraft.

(23:13):
Phil Goodford picks the areas where the All Blacks failed
and flourished in they're underwhelming when over Italy you can
read the breakdown at Enzen here all premium Back to
Matt Eath and Tyler Adams.

Speaker 3 (23:24):
Thank you very much. Raylean. We're talking about vaping in
New Zealand and what could be called the hysteria around vaping. Now,
I did you dirty, I said, vaping kids, vaping. That's
not what you said at all.

Speaker 2 (23:34):
No, you said you know what you did and what
you've got The entire education department on my ass. It
was you said that Matt was saying he wasn't freaking
out about vaping in school one hundred percent, that your
kids shouldn't be all of vapor in class now, as
if I would ever suggest that, Tyler, you throw me under.

Speaker 3 (23:51):
The busto, I did you dirty there.

Speaker 2 (23:52):
All I'm saying is, look, there's definitely going to be
something some bad parts of vaping, but all kids rebel
or a certain amount of teenagers will find something to rebel,
and I just I just can't bring myself to freak
out about vaping compared to all the other things in
the world. And you've just got keep in mind that
if you really crack down on vaping across the board
I'm talking about legally, then people will find some other

(24:16):
way to rebel, and you never know what that is
going to be.

Speaker 14 (24:18):
Yep.

Speaker 2 (24:19):
And it's certainly better that the kids are rebelling now
with vaping than they are with cigarettes like I did.

Speaker 3 (24:23):
And alcohol as well.

Speaker 2 (24:24):
Yeah, I mean, yeah, vaping is Differentely, it's definitely a
bit of a rebel with vaping than it is with alcohol.
But I mean I'm sure they'll do both.

Speaker 3 (24:31):
Yeah, Geene, how are you this afternoon? How do you
feel about this?

Speaker 15 (24:35):
Well, I don't like the idea, I was saying to
the person I was talking to. I listened to your
station all the time, and when the shaping first came in,
it was on your station. I heard it and they
said that over in London they had never ever seen
anything like it. Children six seven eight year olds. The
lungs were completely shot and they'd been using vaping, and

(24:58):
I think that should have been looked into. I haven't
heard anymore. But I was brought up in the house.
My dad was a chain smoker. My mum smoked. Dad
died before he was sixty with prostate cancer, all through smoking.
And my mum she died in the seema and now
she's passed it on to me. And I've never smoked

(25:19):
in my life.

Speaker 2 (25:20):
I'm sorry to hear that. I'm sorry to hear that.

Speaker 15 (25:22):
Jeane, my son, he was in band and I could
smell him coming before it even got inside the door.

Speaker 17 (25:28):
With the smoke.

Speaker 15 (25:29):
He inhales, So I mean, he doesn't smoke at all,
so God knows what his lungs are going to be like.
You know, he used to play in all the bars
and now smoky they were nobody thought of anything like
that then as you get older. But I just think
that's wrong to let kids. And they said that they
were sneaking them and off their older brother and sister

(25:49):
and that's how the kids do it.

Speaker 2 (25:51):
Yeah, well, I'd be Geene, I'd be Gene. I'd be
incredibly worried if I saw a six year old vaping.
I haven't said that that would be shocking, but I
don't think there's much of that going on. Hopefully we're
talking more about we're talking more about late teenagers and
early early twenties and with us the study that we're
going off now. But yeah, I mean, I think there's

(26:13):
not a person in the country that wouldn't see a
six year old vaping and think it was a bad thing.
But whatever, whatever the case is with cigarettes and vaping,
I think we're all agreed. And with the amount of
time they've had to study it, though, I would have
found out by now that vaping is definitely not as
bad as smoking cigarettes. There's not even a magnitude of comparison.

Speaker 3 (26:35):
Yeah, and I've just got to say, Gene, thank you
very much for your call. I've got to say with
my own vaping going from cigarettes, and I know my
lung capacity because it's been measured by my doctor, has
greatly improved, dramatically improved. So on the health side of things,
the vaping has been really good for me. It's not
great long term. I wish I wasn't vaping or didn't

(26:55):
have to vape, And I know people say, well, just don't.
I've got an addiction. But on the health spectrum side
of things, when I was smoking cigarettes versus vaping, my
health is dramatically improved.

Speaker 2 (27:05):
Yeah. And when you because you've taken it into the classroom, Tyler,
I'd also have to mention that when I was at
intermediate and high school, we used to sniff pens, that's
what we used to be into. And my mates used
to sniff sniff petrol. So kids will find something bad
to do. They will, they will, There's no doubt about it.

(27:27):
Glue sniffing used to be a serious thing, so.

Speaker 3 (27:30):
Yer asol cans and the beating, you know, that was
a thing at my school.

Speaker 2 (27:33):
Yeah, and there's no doubt that that's worse than vaping.
So I'm just all I'm saying is that out of
all the things at the moment to freak out about
and spend our energy on when it comes to focusing
on our kids, I just can't bring it bring myself
to freak out as much as other people are about vaping,
and I just worry about what the other options are.
If they can't release their rebellion valve with vaping, what

(27:57):
will it be percent not backing vaping in the classroom
or sneaking off at school and vaping.

Speaker 3 (28:03):
Yeap, Oh eight hundred and eighty ten eighty is the
number to call. It is bang on twenty to two.

Speaker 1 (28:10):
Your new home of afternoon talk man Heaton Taylor Adams
Afternoon Call, Oh eight hundred eighty ten eighty News Talk'd.

Speaker 3 (28:18):
Be eighteen to two.

Speaker 2 (28:19):
We're talking about vaping and new study says more people
are giving it up than taking it up, especially young people.
Here's a text here that goes to supports my point
about kids always doing bad things. You just gotta be
careful what you banned, because they'll find something else. Cigarettes,
rocket fuel and sniffing dry cleaning fluid with a go
to in the day at my intermediate school, I'll happily

(28:40):
take vaping over those. Thanks your text, James.

Speaker 3 (28:42):
Yep Fair point. I mean, and the more you think
about it, cough syrup. You know, there's always these trends
that pop up, even more so in the social media world.
I mean, kids who are holding their breath until they
pass out for goodness sake.

Speaker 2 (28:54):
Oh, I s to love doing that. Yeah, halfing, you'd
do that and then you'd fall on the floor and
you'd be unconscious, and you'd come around and even be
standing around you yelling at Hollywood. There's always going to
be idiot kids like me that do something like that.

Speaker 6 (29:05):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (29:05):
Yeah, but we'll find something. We'll find the level of
rebellion do it at that?

Speaker 14 (29:09):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (29:09):
And so yeah, we have to have something or we'll
go further and further, and you've got to be got
to be careful what it is. Yeah, I mean there's
an argument that you know, so won't go into that argument.
It's just going to muddy the waters.

Speaker 3 (29:22):
Oh, eight hundred and eighty ten eighty is the number
to call.

Speaker 7 (29:24):
Jane.

Speaker 3 (29:24):
Now you've got some experience with teenagers buying these products online,
have you?

Speaker 17 (29:29):
Yeah, so my son he's underage and he can buy
whatever vape he likes online. Never smoked, never been around it,
Never have smoking wasn't a thing at school, but he's
really addicted to the vaping now it's attached to him.
Twenty four to seven.

Speaker 2 (29:47):
How old is it? How old is your How is
your kid? Janell seventeen? Oh yeah.

Speaker 17 (29:53):
And his reasoning for find vaping was to give him comfort,
to allow him to do something. And I'm like, that's
not a reason to vape in any shape or form.
But because everyrun house does it, just like smoking, they
do it. They find their way to get it.

Speaker 2 (30:10):
Yeah, I mean, and that pear pressure part of it
is quite full on. We had another text from a
young person who said that they don't want to vape,
but they just feel like a loser around people that
are vaping, which is odd because I'm not coming out
in support of vaping. Like I've described vapes as a
douche fluke before. I think the douchery do They're They're
incredibly uncool.

Speaker 3 (30:30):
Yeah, absolutely, Yeah.

Speaker 17 (30:32):
I think I agree. We have staff that work here
and they're in their early twenties twenty nineteen to twenty two,
and they are addicted. They smoke vap during work, but
if they lose it, they have to go find it.
They can't work, they stop work and go look for
it because they're panicking because they can't find it. Just
shows how they're addicted to They are upholding the thing, yeah,

(30:52):
being with them so they can have it when they want.

Speaker 2 (30:54):
Well, well, that's the thing about vaping that cigarette don't have.
If someone's smoking a cigarette in a room, absolutely everybody knows.
But if someone can can quite sneakily vape at their desk,
and you know, and there's a good chance that no
one will, no one will notice it. But but I
think we could all all agree, and I keep I'm
repeating myself here that vaping is nowhere near as bad

(31:17):
for you as smoking cigarettes.

Speaker 17 (31:19):
No, it's just more addictive for the kids to have
something to hold, you know. Well, younger and I smoked,
you smoked the morning tea, lunchtime, and an afternoon tea.
Where they do it continuously all day and they have
to have it. It's that thing of having to have
it there.

Speaker 2 (31:33):
Yeah, there's there's I used to have my studio. I
would look out and I'd see where people are vaped,
and they'd sit in the window. They couldn't really see me.
And you see people out there, they'd be scrolling on
their phone, vaping, scrollings vaping, scrolling vaping, and you go, boy,
you were you were running two heavy addictions right here.

(31:54):
Could you not just sit and look off into the
distance for a little bit here scrolling vaping, scrolling vaping?

Speaker 3 (31:59):
Yeah, and what is your Yeah? Have you had a
chat to your your seventeen year old son about his vaping?
Is he Is he up for discussing that with you?

Speaker 18 (32:09):
Yeah?

Speaker 17 (32:09):
Yeah, he definitely is. And you know, like us is
all beds, we don't want to be told what to do.
So I can't tell them not to do it. I
can say, Look, nobody knows the side effects on it.
I'm glad you aren't smoking, but I don't think it's
right at the same time, but it is your choice.
But you could see how more addictivity is to hold
it into have it with him? Yeah, each day, you know,

(32:32):
it gets more and more so more there and I
think maybe, like you were stating before about the next
teen levels dropping, I feel that is a really good solution.

Speaker 2 (32:40):
Yeah, it is interesting though, but you know, we always
freak out every generation. We've talked about this on the show.
Before they go back to Roman times and before Greek time, Socrates,
people have always been freaking freaking out about what young
people are up to. But interesting stats around alcohol consumption,
and I think alcohol can do obviously is an incredibly
risky thing. I mean, I drink myself, but I started

(33:02):
drinking way too young. And it's good to see that
kids are drinking less than they used to. There's less
alcohol in some than they used to, and I think
that's something that's a very positive thing.

Speaker 17 (33:11):
Yeah, and it'd be harder to get Like alcohol is
harder to get vaping you can just buy it online
and say that you're eighteen. You take a box and
you can get it. You know, there's nothing to stop
you buying it, where alcohol is a lot harder to
buy online. There's a lot of checks and you've got
to put your driver's license in so they can't get
their alcohol as easy as they can.

Speaker 2 (33:30):
When does your When does your sun turn eighteen in February?

Speaker 17 (33:36):
So it's quite leankful to that.

Speaker 8 (33:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (33:38):
Yeah, because because I'm liberal sort of parent in a
lot of ways, and that I believe that you give
them a little bit of freedom and as long as
they don't go too crazy, then you know, I'm not
going to crack down on the too hard. I'm a
big fan of trust and stuff, but it did seem
insane to me when my son turned eighteen and he
could suddenly walk into a bottle store and buy whatever

(33:59):
amount of alcohol he wanted. I'm not suggesting changing the
alcohol ages or anything, but it is quite confronting when
you just realize that your son at any time can
just walk down the road and buy a one one
two five of gin. Yeah.

Speaker 17 (34:12):
Yeah, and there's no control. They don't know how to
deal with it. And what aftermath is going to happen
after drinking all that?

Speaker 2 (34:18):
Yeah, absolutely mean it's terrible, Yeah, terribly dangerous one one
two five of gin. That's for sure.

Speaker 3 (34:23):
You care. That is Janelle. You sound like a great mum.
Thank you very much. Oh eight hundred eighty ten eighty
is the number to call give us a buzz. It
is twelve to two.

Speaker 1 (34:33):
Matteeth Tyler Adams seeking your calls on Oh eight hundred
and eighty mad Eth and Tyler Adams Afternoons.

Speaker 3 (34:40):
Newstalksb Newstalks. The b it is nine to two.

Speaker 2 (34:43):
You're just talking about nicotine and vaping. A lot of
people bring up nicotine and lurering. The amount of nicotine.
It is interesting to look into nicotine as an actual
in itsself outside of cigarettes. It isn't actually bad for you.
It is addictive so that it will lead you to
do the thing that you do to ingest it a lot. Yeah,
that's that's what my people have problem with vaping because

(35:04):
you need the nicotine. See how you take it, and
you could take it with gummies. You could take it
with gum. But nicotine has interesting effects on parkinson and Parkinson's.
Non nicotine consumers three times more likely developed Parkinson's. Nicotine
has been shown to help with Alzheimer's patients with those
taking nicotention show statistically significant improvements and reaction time and
memory and attention. Nicotine has been shown to enhance memory

(35:25):
and healthy people. Nicotine has been shown to help control ADHD.
It has been found to have some benefits in relief
of depression, benefits in fighting obesity, delaying arthritis. So there's
lots of studies out there that say that the problem
with nicotine is that it happened to be found in cigarettes.
Nicotine itself isn't harmful, of course, if nicotine is leading

(35:45):
you to freak out because you haven't brought your vape
with you and en forcing you to have addictive habits
like always having to you know, if it's affecting your life,
any addiction that affects your life in a bad way
in whatever that is in terms of how much time
you have just been away from your deskool all those
kind of things. And then sure it can be a
bad thing. But nicotine in itself is not bad for humans.

(36:07):
In fact, there's a a lot of evidence suggests it's
very good for our brains.

Speaker 3 (36:10):
And when it comes to the addiction side of nicotine,
that's only half of the equation, right. The psychological addiction
is a big thing with smoking and vaping as well,
that it's got to be taken into consideration.

Speaker 2 (36:21):
Yeah, but this text here on nine two nine two
is kind of what I'm trying to say. We talk
about vaping, climate change, healthy foods, blah blah blah. Let
the goal for twenty twenty five be to get students
to school regularly and to be involved doing sports cultural activities,
and then at least be be literate. And that's kind
of my point. My point is that in the energies
that we're going to spend on freaking out about as

(36:42):
a country. I think vaping may not be as big
a problem as we are expending the energy on. I'm
not saying it's good, but I'm just saying that kids
will go for something bad. But let's focus on put
our energies into some really really positive things like that.
You know, and you can harangue kids into You can
haran kids a lot, but they will always find something

(37:03):
naughty to do.

Speaker 3 (37:04):
Absolutely, George, you've got a son who is vaping eighteen?

Speaker 10 (37:09):
Yeah, I do.

Speaker 6 (37:10):
I got a good subject here. I'm just wondering.

Speaker 10 (37:13):
We're about to send the lynch mob to come and
see you guys, just before.

Speaker 2 (37:17):
You continue, send them to me, Send them to Meyler.
Tyler's totally idiot.

Speaker 10 (37:24):
Yeah, I think you might have been sniffing a few
too many of those pins yourself got.

Speaker 15 (37:29):
Yeah.

Speaker 10 (37:29):
Yeah, Look, I've got a sign who started vaping when
he was eleven. He's now seventeen, and we've basically been
fighting this beast ever since then. I think it's kind
of dangerous when we start talking about something is more, yeah,
it is better than something else. That kind of rhetoric

(37:50):
I think plays straight into what the big tobacco companies want.
Because I do think they're laughing all the way to
the bank with this. You know, I think marking at
a marketing as a way of getting out of smoking
is probably a good thing. But I think we're we
start marketing it with strawberry flavors and candy floss flavors

(38:12):
and things like that. I don't think the big big
companies are actually looking at the people that are trying
to stop smoking. I think they're more looking at bringing
in new people and specifically children.

Speaker 2 (38:24):
Now, George, but George, would you would you? Would you
admit though, that kids will find a way to rebel.
You can't control what that's going to be. But they
will find teenagers, not all of them, but some of them. Me,
particularly when I was a kid, were looking for a
way to rebel. And when I was a kid, I
looked for a way to avow by basically smoking and

(38:45):
you know, trying to get hold of any alcohol I could.

Speaker 10 (38:47):
So yeah, I think they will, and I think they'll
always try and find something. I don't think that's a
good enough excuse to do nothing. And certainly my experience
is our son's high school is essentially doing nothing.

Speaker 2 (39:00):
Now.

Speaker 10 (39:02):
It's absolutely right, and we've tried everything, like we've been
the counselors, we've tried quit smoking hotlines. The hotlines don't
want to know him because he's under eighteen. They can't
deal with them, so they basically wash their hands. A
lot of a lot of the information that's out there.

(39:23):
I think, you know, there's all these goals about stopping
people smoking by twenty twenty five and stopping smoking by
twenty thirty that if they can shift people into vaping
the end, I've achieved their goal. But the problem is,
you know, we've got all these kids that have never smoked,
and all of a sudden they are vaping. But all
the information has kind of aimed at, well, it's not
as bad as smoking, so you know that's what we

(39:45):
hear back from our son. Well you know, it's better
than smoking, And I'm like, yeah, it is, but you've
never smoked.

Speaker 3 (39:50):
Mate.

Speaker 2 (39:51):
Hey, thanks, sorry, George, We've just we've got to go
to a break. But thank you so much for the call.
It was very interesting. And look, I would definitely be
concerned if my son. Don't get me wrong, if my
kids were voping at eleven, I would be concerned.

Speaker 3 (40:04):
Yeah, absolutely, Oh eight hundred and eighty ten eighty. We're
going to carry this on after two o'clock. Really keen
on your thoughts on this. One. Nine nine two is
the text number. Some great texts coming through, guys. There
was a TV program at one point on this. I'm
a skydiver and most of the younger jumpers were vapors.
I could see the clouds of bubblegum are coming through.

(40:25):
Quite funny. Keep those coming through A nine two ninety two.

Speaker 1 (40:30):
Your new home for insightful and entertaining talk. It's Matt
Heath and Tyler Adams afternoons on.

Speaker 2 (40:37):
News Talk Zebby.

Speaker 3 (40:39):
Welcome back into the show seven past two, and we've
been having a great conversation about vaping in New Zealand's I'm.

Speaker 2 (40:45):
Gonna have to go into a witness relocation program after this.

Speaker 3 (40:48):
Thy coming for you.

Speaker 2 (40:49):
They're coming for me because all I said. What I
said I said is of all the things we're freaking
out about kids, I'm not sure if vaping is the
big freak out and that kids that we need to
spend all our energy on freaking out on that. I
think kids will find a way to rebel. That's happened
for all of eternity. And all of time when I
was a kid, they rebelling by smoking and drinking. And actually,

(41:14):
when I was a kid, there's a lot of people
sniffing glue. So there's always going to be a vice
that kids are going for. But the amount of alcohol
consumption for young people is on the way down, which
is a positive.

Speaker 3 (41:25):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (41:25):
Absolutely, So I'm just saying, look, in terms of everything
that we freak out about, I'm not as worried about
vaping as I've been worried about a lot of other
things in the time. Yeah, but that is ye as
I say, witness relocation, death threats, a lot of anger.
I've really poked the hornous ness with that opinion.

Speaker 3 (41:42):
You certainly have plenty of texts coming through on nine
to nine to two. This one Gooday, guys, I agree
with you Matt's on this one. People will find something else.
There are a lot of reasons why people go to
addictions individually, need to address the root causes. But kids
will rebel.

Speaker 2 (42:00):
Yeah, I mean that's the thing, and you've just got
to You've got to be careful what you know, You
really crack down on something and they'll find something else.
And you don't know that that other thing they find
isn't going to be worse. And personally, I just think,
thank goodness, kids aren't smoking as young as they were
when I was a kid. I mean that was people
don't even know that. People don't even know like I

(42:20):
remember once I was at Christmas dinner and with myself
and my three sisters, and my mum said to my sisters,
why can't you be good like Matt? He doesn't smoke,
he doesn't drink. Why can't you be good like him?
And my sisters went, what are you talking about? He
is an absolute shocker. And so you don't really know.

(42:41):
But when I was into me that kids were smoking
it intermediate, that's when they took it up. And that
is terrifying that the idea that kids started smoking when
they were eleven and twelve, that was terrible and that
isn't happening. That isn't happening at and that's a good thing,
and that's something to be very happy with in a society.
So the next thing we do is we move on
to vapor and we absolutely freak out about it. And
I'm not saying it's a good thing, but I just

(43:02):
think we've got to be aware that kids will rebel.

Speaker 3 (43:05):
Yeah, absolutely, Dylan. You started vaping it seen, is that right?

Speaker 19 (43:10):
Yes, yeah, very young. I think mainly it's because I've
been I was around my parents when they i'd grown up,
you know, around smokers and around kind of like older groups,
so it was pretty easy to access got into it
because you know other people did, and then you know,
you get a head rush off negatine. It's like one

(43:31):
of the greatest things you ever fail. And then yeah,
I did it for years until the start of this year.
I decided that, you know, it's just I felt that
it's just well, you know, not made out for it.

Speaker 3 (43:46):
You know, you're just cutting out there a little bit, Dylan,
So just maybe moved to the left. But you're you're
nineteen years now and you've managed to quit vaping.

Speaker 19 (43:55):
Yes, yes, I've managed to quit vaping. And I did
that by actually taking up smoking, which a good bit backwards.
But I feel like it's easier to quit smoking that
it was to quit vaping.

Speaker 2 (44:08):
A minute that, Dylan, are you still smoking?

Speaker 19 (44:11):
No, Now, I've fully stopped smoking because I felt it
was easier to quit smoking cigarette.

Speaker 2 (44:18):
Well, I guess. I mean. The thing is with smoking
cigarettes is that smoking cigarettes is an incredibly full on thing. Yeah,
they stink, They make a drama. And one of the
reasons why it's so easy to vape And tell me
if I'm wrong, Dylan, but it is because you can
do it anywhere. It's so convenient. And I don't remember.

Speaker 19 (44:35):
Doing it in math class, you know, like the bang
of math class, and you could never ever do that
and with a cigarette because it would stink out the
entire room. So when I agree with you about when
you're talking about nicotine, you know, having it obviously has benefits,
but I feel like it also creates relates more of
like a reliant you know, people rely on it with

(44:57):
their stress relieve. I think it suppressed my appetite a lot.

Speaker 2 (45:01):
Yeah, I don't know if it's the.

Speaker 19 (45:02):
Same with other people, but yeah, I feel like, you know,
their benefit benefiting fact.

Speaker 2 (45:08):
But you know, yeah, I mean there's benefits. There's lots
of benefits in terms of enhanced memory. It helps ADHD,
It's been shown to help Alzheona's patients, Parkinson's and fighting diabetes.
But but the thing is, it's how you take it
exactly as you're saying, Dylan, Because you're addicted to it,

(45:29):
So it's not so much the nicotine. And like there's
a lot of people texting through that nicotine has kind
of have effects on heart rate and all that kind
of stuff. I'm not denying any of that, but I'm
just saying it's not. But the thing is, it's as
it was with cigarettes. The nicotine got you smoking the cigarettes,
and that was a bad thing. And if the nicoturitine
and the addiction to that is making you vaping and

(45:50):
that's not making you have that's an addiction that's making
your life worse, then of course the nicotine is not
a good thing because it's because it's getting you to
do something that you don't want to do and you
are dependent on it.

Speaker 19 (46:01):
And in vaping, I know that the amount of nicotine
in the vape liquid is significantly higher than in sea. Yeah,
I'm pretty sure one drag of a vape of fifty
or five percent, which is about fifty milligrams of nicotine,
is equal to her smoking I think seven cigarettes at once,

(46:21):
as in the nicotine side of it.

Speaker 3 (46:23):
Yeah, so why did changing to cigarettes help you quit? Dylan?
That you couldn't do it all the time, You had
to go out and have a cigarettes and perhaps you
didn't like the flat a taste of it. I just
can't understand why that got you off. Is that those
those are the core reasons.

Speaker 19 (46:38):
Mainly, Mainly that, and I feel like it was a
lot harsher on my lungs.

Speaker 12 (46:43):
It was a lot.

Speaker 19 (46:44):
It's a different type of smoke, you know, it's like tar,
It's not whatever cotton burning is in a vape. I
feel like, you know, maybe this it's just me, but
I know that vaping wets your lungs and then smoking
dries it out. So I feel like it kind of
just sweat as it sounds it kind of altered. And

(47:06):
then the smell of it, And then I was always
having to have gum, and it's all this effort. You know,
you can't just pully vape out your pocket and use it.
You have to go go outside and have a cigarette.
It just became not worth it and it was too
much of my lungs, and I just, yeah, I just
slowly stopped over time.

Speaker 2 (47:21):
That's an interesting thing. I mean, there's there's a lot
more Edmond around smoking, But how did smoking make you
feel compared to vaping.

Speaker 19 (47:31):
It's it's kind of like straight, like a like a whiskey.
You know, you kind of get like a taste for it.
You know, first year, first cigarette, Oh, it tastes disgusting,
it's all this, but then over time you get a
taste for it. I just felt that, you know, you
can have it strawberry, guava, vapor, beny, you get all
these flavors and colors, and yeah, it's a lot more

(47:53):
appealing to the eye and appealing to other people. But
then you have this cigarette in the packet that's got
these dried.

Speaker 10 (48:00):
Up lungs on it.

Speaker 19 (48:01):
It's just it's a lot of a social impression. I
feel like as well.

Speaker 2 (48:05):
It's interesting. I read this book on addiction and it
was both a neuroscientist called Dr Judson Brewer, and he
was talking about he'd have people that had smoked their
whole lives and they'd never concentrated on a cigarette, and
he used mindfulness to get people off the cigarettes. And
so he'd say, okay, smoke the cigarette and concentrate on
every flavor as it goes in. And generally speaking, he said,

(48:29):
people were disgusted by what they tasted as it as
it went in, and that's one thing that vape doesn't have.
I mean, if you really concentrated on the flavor of vape,
it's actually pretty good. Yeah, yereas if you actually as
much as we think that the taste of cigarettes is good,
if you actually super concentrate on it, it does taste
like poison.

Speaker 3 (48:48):
They were pretty faeral. Yeah, oh eight hundred eights.

Speaker 2 (48:51):
So much for you call Dylan, it was really interesting.
Thanks for sharing.

Speaker 3 (48:54):
One hundred and eighty ten eighty is the number to call.
Nine two ninety two is the text number. It is
bang on quarter past two.

Speaker 1 (49:02):
Your new home of afternoon torm Taylor Adams afternoon call, Oh,
eight hundred eighty ty News talk.

Speaker 3 (49:11):
Good afternoon, eighteen past two. We have been talking about
vaping in New Zealand.

Speaker 10 (49:15):
Die.

Speaker 3 (49:15):
You're a former smoker, I am, And do you vaporor
you just missed out vaping altogether?

Speaker 5 (49:23):
In fact, in fact, when vaping came out, I thought,
what the hell, how backward is that? And seriously like,
I'm right behind what Australia's doing. I think it's great.
There's so many better alternatives to do in life than
either smoking or vaping. But do you remember going back

(49:43):
to the days of when we had these synthetic cannabis yep.
And I was living in Australia when i'd come back
here on holidays to New Zealand, and I'd see that
young people could buy it from milk bars and things
or Darius, and I used to think, what the hell
is this? This is rubbish. Don't people realize the damage?

(50:05):
And you know, once people actually got on board and
said this is really bad, get rid of it. It's
all about mindset, and yeah, in terms of smoking, having
been a smoker and someone who's done a lot of
sport and enjoyed the outdoors and everything, it's about choices,
deciding that you know, you want to stop smoking, you

(50:29):
want to do X, y Z, and just getting on
with it.

Speaker 2 (50:32):
Hey, Die, how did you you know, obviously famously difficult
to give up smoking, how did you go about it? Die?

Speaker 5 (50:38):
Well, I've been smoking for many years and being really
healthy with it. So I just decided I got sick
of it. I did not did not want to do
it anymore. And so what I did. I actually smoked
the very weak ones.

Speaker 14 (50:52):
Yeah, and I cut them.

Speaker 5 (50:53):
Back from about ten a day down to six, down
to four, down to two. When I got down to one,
I just said that's it. I bought a packet. I
don't need it, I don't need to open it. I'm
not going to have another cigarette. And that was nearly
three months, agots, and I'm just determined. I don't want

(51:14):
to go back there. And I understand what you're saying
that about rebellious, but Matt, I've seen a lot of people,
you know, kids, adults, all sorts who are rebellious, got
that spirit, and that just means that someone needs a
bit more guidance or a different guidance into you know,

(51:36):
putting their energy where they're going to get a lot
better back from consequences of their actions. So I don't
think it's any reason not to ban. They think we
just need to get a whole different attitude to it.

Speaker 2 (51:50):
Yeah, but I think I would say, though die because
I was an incredibly rebellious kid, but I had a
very loving family and every reason not to rebel. I
felt like I just had a rebellious gene in me
that made me wanted to do things that I shouldn't do.
And I'm and all I'm saying is I that manifested
in me taking up smoking at a very young age.

(52:11):
And I just think that vaping is better than that.

Speaker 5 (52:15):
I'm not saying your family wasn't loving it. It's a totally
different thing. But rebelliousness is you know, it comes from
a whole lot of different things in the spirit, right,
It just needs different set of guidance. I've seen people,
you know, I've done a bit of sailing, yep, and
I've seen some really hardline rebellious you know, boy, really

(52:42):
tough characters out at sea on yachts and you see
different all different sort of attitudes. And there's room for
everyone in life. But it's about different things inspire different
people to take a different path.

Speaker 2 (52:59):
Oh yeah. And there's no doubt if there was more
inspiring things for people. And we've had a few texts
on that that are kind of agreeing with me. But yeah,
if we if we focus on getting kids and giving
showing them opportunities and things that really really important and
inspire them and show them a different world, then vaping
will will will be way down on their list of priorities.

(53:22):
It's just a matter of finding that right thing for
each kid, and that's that's difficult to do. There's limited
resources out there.

Speaker 5 (53:30):
Thanks so much, guys, But I do think it begins
with doing what Australia is saying. Yep, you know zerohtolerance,
that's it, banning it from schools, bang, thank you.

Speaker 3 (53:42):
I'm just going to say, oh, thank you, die that's
a right. I'm just saying I needs to shoot off.
But for the vaping. For me, and I've had many
attempts to quit smoking in cigarettes, and for whatever reason,
vaping was the one thing that is meant that I
haven't smoked a ciggy in about five years, and I
think that's a good thing overall. But I know I'm

(54:03):
just one case of many. But to me, I think
vaping has been has been successful for a lot of
people to get off rats, which are far worse for
your health.

Speaker 2 (54:10):
This Texas good that's come through a ninety two nine
two Hi guys, vapors look like they're walking around sucking
on baby's bottles from Laurie. It is. I mean, there's
no doubt it's not cool because because look, smoking is
in pretty bad for you. But and this was orchestrated
by the smoking companies to get it into movies. But
there was a way you can smoke that looks cool.
It's terrible for you. And I don't support it. But
it looks cool. But there is absolutely no way you

(54:32):
can vapor and look cool. Now it is the least
cool looking thing you can do and look hopefully, maybe
people just need to look in the mirror when they
when they see themselves sucking on the douce flute.

Speaker 3 (54:44):
Yeah, oh, eight hundred eighty ten eighty is the number
to call. Twenty three pass.

Speaker 1 (54:47):
Two Matt Heathen, Tyler Adams afternoons cool Oh eight hundred
eighty ten eighty on us talk.

Speaker 3 (54:58):
ZB it is twenty five pass two.

Speaker 2 (55:00):
They've got a text here at ninety two nine two.
Really teach your kids self discipline. You've got to have
self discipline yourself to be a role model to your child.
And not all kids want for a our good kids
are good adults grow up. That's that's that's a that's
a very hopeful way to look at the world. I
think a lot of kids will rebel and a lot
of kids won't. And no point did I say that
the kids that don't rebel. I just said there's a

(55:22):
certain amount of kids that will rebel. And of course
role models are great and opportunities are great for kids,
and we need to offer them as many as they can,
but a certain amount of kids will rebel, and vaping
is the way they're rebelling. And all I'm saying is
vaping is not as bad as smoking in terms of rebel.
So let's put that in the band and say, look,

(55:42):
we've achieved something good. Kids are drinking less and they're
smoking less, and that that is something we can hang
a hat on. And as and this text center will
grow up. I will never grow up over, I can
promise you right now, text, I will never grow up.

Speaker 3 (55:56):
And how are you this afternoon?

Speaker 18 (55:59):
I'm really angry with you time oh with me?

Speaker 3 (56:01):
Okay?

Speaker 14 (56:02):
With that?

Speaker 18 (56:04):
Look, news talk is really the place of radio and
New zeal And. We hear the ads that the likes
of you and Marcus and Mike and we can trust.
And I'm really disappointed to hear you is one of
these people on z B that we trust say that
you are vaping and it's okay, even if you don't

(56:27):
like doing it, it's okay.

Speaker 2 (56:29):
And in this defense, you're actually angry at me. He
said it was he vaped and it wasn't okay. Yeah,
so you're actually angry at me, not Tyler, So that
that's unfairsh.

Speaker 18 (56:39):
Sorry, I'm angry at Tyler.

Speaker 2 (56:40):
No, no, you're angry at Matt. You're angry at me.

Speaker 18 (56:43):
I want to be angry at Tyler anyone.

Speaker 2 (56:45):
I'm going to tell you to be angry.

Speaker 3 (56:47):
You can be angry at both of them.

Speaker 18 (56:50):
I'm angry at anyone that vapes. Well, I mean, honestly,
to hear people say vaping is better than smoking is ridiculous.

Speaker 3 (57:00):
Well, and I just got to jump in here and
defend myself. Here is that I see quite clearly that
I want to get off the vapes. But for whatever reason,
this has been and the only thing that got me
off smoking cigarettes. That is why, in my personal situation,
I am in favor of using them as a device
to get off smoking cigarettes. It has worked for me,
and I've tried three different methods to quit nicotine, and

(57:21):
a lot of people will come through the text machine,
as they have for the last hour and a half, saying,
get hard, tier, you know, get some willpower, just quit
what's wrong with you? But for whatever reason, I cannot,
and I've tried all sorts of things. So for me,
vaping has been an effective way to get off the cigarettes,
and that's better for my health.

Speaker 14 (57:39):
YEP.

Speaker 18 (57:40):
And I accept that, and that's why I went on
to vaping after decades of smoking. And I'll tell you what.
After vaping, I ended up in the hospital. There is
something known as vaping pneumonia, and it's what I got.
I heard one of your earlier callers saying, gee, what

(58:01):
are the repercussions of sucking in this moisture? Now, not
only are you sucking in moisture, you are sucking in
the oil from that little vaping machine. And what it
does is it sits in the bottom of your lungs
and it destroys lung tissue. And people just are not

(58:22):
aware of this. People are dying in the United States
from vaping too much. So look, I admire you that
you're trying to get off cigarettes. But again, you can
vape without the nicotine, or you can slowly reduce the
nicotine and the vapes. But even if you've got down

(58:44):
to vaping with no nicotine in it, you are still
sucking in that oil, which is a killer. Now I've
now got COPD and that's going to live with me
for the rest of my life. I have antibiotics and
steroids sitting at home for every time my lungs flare

(59:05):
up because of the vaping that I did and the
damage it did to my lungs.

Speaker 2 (59:12):
Okay, well, thank you so much for your call. And interesting,
I'd love to see those studies around the effects of
vaping over smoking. We did a lot of research, and
we couldn't find anything that suggested that vaping was anywhere
near as bad as smoking cigarettes. But having said that,
I'm not saying that vaping isn't bad. I'm just saying
that we live in a world with his trade offs,

(59:34):
and vaping is better as far as I can see
in research then smoking cigarettes, and that there's a lot
of health benefits to nicotine. It's not to suggest that
you should you should just be vaping away, but it
would be very odd for me if you were just
vaping without the nicotine, because then you get in nothing exactly.

Speaker 3 (59:53):
And how did I call the fury of van I
mean it started off that everybody wanted to I tried.

Speaker 2 (59:59):
To convince her to put her fury on me, but
she had her eyes sit on you, and good on her.
Good on her for the call. Look, I'll take any
that are angry at Tyler absolute Let's bring them through. Hey,
but we are moving on from the subject. Now, we
certainly are, there's been a good discussion. Just get moving
on to the subject, or move myself into witness relocation

(01:00:20):
and we'll move on to a happy subject where people
aren't going to be nearly as angry at me.

Speaker 3 (01:00:26):
Yeah, well maybe which.

Speaker 2 (01:00:27):
Won't be nearly as fun for me.

Speaker 3 (01:00:29):
Yeah, that's coming up very shortly. It is twenty nine
to three.

Speaker 1 (01:00:35):
You talks, it'd be headlines with blue bubble taxis.

Speaker 16 (01:00:38):
It's no trouble with a blue bubble. Health New Zealand
has told staff it's proposing to disestablish roles, with one
on one meetings to be set up. It's pursuing major
savings and more than four hundred voluntary redundancy applications were
approved last month. Then, while GP practice owners say thus
still waiting for a new funding model a year after

(01:01:01):
the government formed with all its parties supporting change pre election,
Minister Shane that it Is says he anticipates seeing a
review this year. Phone data is being used to paint
detailed connections between murder accused King Jun Chau and his
alleged victim. It includes corresponding location and search data for

(01:01:21):
Yan Fei Bao and accused and a graphic photograph. Far
Mac changing its main funded brand of hrt estradial patches
from next July. Is hoping to combat a supply shortage
in New Zealand expects its first half earnings to drop,
partially blaming global issues with maintenance and fleet supplies. Prime

(01:01:45):
Minister Chris Luxen says inheriting a dysfunctional National Party in
twenty twenty one prepared him well for managing a three
party coalition. Seymore At ends at Herald Premium back to
Matt Eath and Tyler Adams.

Speaker 3 (01:01:58):
Thank you, Rayleane.

Speaker 2 (01:01:59):
We're going to move on from vaping to love now
before we go. There's something I just want to mention
before and to you too, Tyler. Yeah, in terms of addiction,
because you're horribly addicted to Veymac. Shocking, shocking. There's this
I always bring this up because it's the best thing
I've ever read on addiction, and it is a man
that's been incredibly successful getting people off smoking cocaine everything.

(01:02:20):
His name is doctor Judson Brewer. Put it up for
a few people are texting. The name of the book
is The Craving Mind by doctor Judson Brewer, and it
is just a look into why we have habits and
how we can fight them. And he argues that there's
not much difference between any of our addictions. They're kind
of the same things being repeated over and over again
with it's vaping or digital addiction, smoking cocaine, whatever it is,

(01:02:43):
other addictions in our life. We all have them, even
our eating addictions as well social media. So I thoroughly
recommend that to people if you're strugging with addiction. The
book is called The Craving Mind by doctor Judson Brewer.

Speaker 3 (01:02:55):
All right, that's my weekend, that's my reading this weekend.

Speaker 2 (01:02:58):
I should say you could argue that love can be
an addiction, certainly can be. That's not what we're arguing.
We're moving on to what This is a story that
you found today that excited you.

Speaker 3 (01:03:07):
Well, it's a great story in the Herald and its
in depth and well worth a read. The headline is
divorce trap. What kiwis get wrong about long term love?
So it is what many of us are seeking, of course,
but New Zealanders have a lot to learn about what
builds a successful long term relationship. According to psychologist Nick Beats,
he has had a thirty year career and worked with

(01:03:29):
hundreds of Kiwi couples. Most have been together for years,
and most have come to the painful realization that the
relationship that they've built their life around has developed some
serious structural defects. As he says, speed wobble. There's some
speed wobbles. So here's the quote. We've been bombarded by
the romantic mythos that if you just pick the right person,

(01:03:50):
it will be easy. He goes on to say, it
doesn't work that way. Marriage is a people growing machine.
You invest all this time and energy in a relationship.
You buy property together, you have children together, you have
friends in common, and inevitably your personal limitations are going
to threaten that relationship. Hence why we want to talk
about what is it for you that makes your relationship

(01:04:15):
so strong? What has been the tips in your your
own mythos to building long term relationships?

Speaker 2 (01:04:22):
Yeah, and what mistakes have you made that you've learned
from one hundred and eighty ten eighty, Because, as I
was saying before, in relationships, so often you see people go
from one relationship to another, and they go into the
new relationship and they see the same mistakes happening, and
then you realize, Ah, it was me. Yeah, it was
me all along. I've got a theory on relationships and
why they don't succeed, and I'll talk about that in

(01:04:46):
a bit. I won't just throw that out there now, Okay,
one hundred eighteen eighty. If you've had if you've got
a relationship that works, why does it work? And what
are your tips for making a relationship works? And if
it hasn't worked, why I love to hear from you
because I believe that in life it goes better if
in twos. I think being in a relationship and a
partnership against this world. The world is quite a punishing place,

(01:05:10):
and it's not for everyone. For me, it's much easier
in a partnership than it is on my own. And
so if you can get that going, and loneliness is
a terrible thing. And look, not everyone can find these
relationships with some people that will work better in a partnership,
but haven't managed to get that going. But things go better,

(01:05:31):
in my opinion and in my experience, as a partnership
againt you and someone else against the world, and you
and your friends against the world, you and your family
against the world. The more people you can have on
your side, the better, but that there's something about the
two of you going up against things. Even if it's
just the admin of life, there's a lot to say
for it. So it's worth finding out how you can

(01:05:52):
make that work.

Speaker 3 (01:05:54):
And I'm no expert in this by any means, but
the one thing that I've found with my partner made
and generally it's a cliche, but she is my best friend.
I absolutely mean that. But the one thing, if I
have to sort of distill it down, is she makes
my life easy and hopefully I make her life easy.
So when I come home, very passionate, but that is

(01:06:15):
it to me. You know, I walk through the door
and I know that I'm going to see Mabe's beautiful
face and life is going to be easier. So I
walk through that door whatever issues that I'm facing out
in the real world, and then I walk through that
door and say, life's going to get easy.

Speaker 2 (01:06:30):
It's always like that, No, not always, not always.

Speaker 3 (01:06:33):
Say ninety nine percent, which is a pretty good ratio.
Maybe ninety, maybe ninety. Let's not get too crazy here.

Speaker 2 (01:06:39):
Ninety is pretty good.

Speaker 3 (01:06:40):
May he might disagree.

Speaker 2 (01:06:41):
Ninety is pretty good. We should listen to Tyler for
relationship advice. So he's getting ninety percent of the time.
He walks through his door when he gets home and
his partner is very happy with him, and everything's good,
and she makes a little bit of place and then
it sounds like you've cracked the code. Buddy.

Speaker 3 (01:06:56):
Maybe we need to get her on the phone. I
think I think.

Speaker 2 (01:06:58):
Relationships can probably get by it. Sixty five percent, sixty
percent good when you come.

Speaker 3 (01:07:03):
A dog helps as well. I've got to say a
dog absolutely helps. But I went a hundred eight ten
eighty is the number to call love to hear from
you on this one? It is twenty to.

Speaker 1 (01:07:12):
Three the issues that affect you and a bit of
fun along the way. Matt Heathan Taylor Adams afternoons you
for twenty twenty four.

Speaker 10 (01:07:21):
You've talk Sai'd.

Speaker 3 (01:07:22):
Be news talks, there'd be It is seventeen to three.
Great discussion we're having about relationships.

Speaker 2 (01:07:29):
Yeah, how do they work? Great article on the paper
about it today in the New Zealand Herald. This text
and Mike says, humble yourself and serve your partner and
the effort will be reciprocated. Easy. Nice, you said, Yeah,
I mean I think you can humble yourself too much.
You still don't. You still want to be a pillar
of strength and someone that they can depend on. Yeah,

(01:07:49):
and also an agent of chaos to a certain extent.

Speaker 3 (01:07:52):
Yeah, keep it spicy. But when I said make it easy,
and you're quite right, that doesn't mean that maybe or
me as some sort of doormat for the relationship that
we bend over backwards for the other person to make
their life as easy as possible. That is not healthy.

Speaker 2 (01:08:05):
What someone that you that you have to reckon with? Yeah,
someone that can.

Speaker 3 (01:08:08):
I love a good challenge. Uh, Jay, you were talking
about this with your work mates this morning.

Speaker 4 (01:08:17):
Yes, something how things happened? Yeah, we're just talking and
we need to learn about toxic exes and and they
are great ones we have now and and funny and
what and what what we've done to change and what
we wouldn't and what we wouldn't go back to and

(01:08:38):
so forth, and and it's funny topic before about addictions
and stuff. I think. Uh, so I was like a
twenty year mess head basically, and then three years clean
and then uh sort of toll y you So you've
get in and out relationships, you know, during their time,
and and then finally found this absolutely wonderful lady.

Speaker 14 (01:09:01):
We're you know, kind of.

Speaker 4 (01:09:04):
Like a family in a box, you know, and I's
got three kids, and we just enjoy a companionship, you know,
and like she's she it's like, you know, we both
like dogs, you know when you see your owner come
through the door. When we get home from work, and

(01:09:26):
it's quite nice, like feeling like like I'm a handyman
and she does the housework, and it's like there's nothing said,
but we just you know what I mean, it's it's
it's a good thing. And like we we both have
we have we have like a contract out agreement, so
it's like a prenup and so like so like I said,

(01:09:49):
like to her, like I don't care living in a tent.
It's not about the materials. It's about uh about us,
you know. Yeah, and yeah, you know, and when our parents.

Speaker 10 (01:10:04):
Are still together and always looking like what they have done.

Speaker 4 (01:10:08):
To keep a forty year marriage, you.

Speaker 3 (01:10:10):
Know, it's good role models. I mean, just in my
own circumstance, my parents divorce that when I was pretty young,
at about eleven, but it was pretty clear looking at that.
Now my parents won't mind me saying this, it's just
the truth that if they didn't get married so young,
they never would have got married. And that had, you know,

(01:10:30):
a bit of an impact on me on how I
look at relationships and what I think is important in
a partner. And that's why I'm so thankful that I
found me. And just to your point, when you walk
through the door and life is good, that's I think
what I mean about life is easy. And that's not
quite as articulate as I want to be, but that's
the only way I think I can say it is
that when I walk through that door, mav is there,

(01:10:51):
my life is easy. Of stumbed them ja, Thank you
very much. He's computing that one.

Speaker 2 (01:11:01):
Thanks you cool, Jay, And congratulations for getting off the
myth jeez and finding a happy, happy family situation. That's
fantastic to hear.

Speaker 3 (01:11:11):
Yeah, uh, Brian, you've got some experience and this is
a twenty five year old Vitrin in a relationship.

Speaker 6 (01:11:20):
Yeah, it'll be going on for about that, and uh,
you know, I'm previously a couple of found ones. But
but but I think the differences is that when you
find there the right tight and that you something about
a commitment, and it's you know, like my my my
tent is my sort of will and and and the

(01:11:43):
commitment does basically look, you know, I'm never gonna I'm
never gonna hurt it, I'm never gonna let it down.
And what happens is that the longer the relationship goes on,
that actually strengthens. You're sort of partnership in years old
and you're you're actually taking pride in your relationship together.

(01:12:04):
So so I think that's the biggest thing is you know,
the commitment to each other and then and that just
builds more and more as time goes on, and you
can actually take pride in that.

Speaker 19 (01:12:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:12:16):
Yeah, You've you've built something together as what you're saying
something with well yeah.

Speaker 6 (01:12:23):
Yeah, yeah, And it's just a commitment that you know,
it's never gonna have a you know, pull commitment, and
the other person knows that. Yeah, and you know, like
you said, like someone else mentioned in the comment, you
have durious if that's reciprocated, then it's the best thing either.

Speaker 18 (01:12:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (01:12:41):
Yeah, And that's where you probably hear these people that
you know, you get the old couples that have been
married sixty seventy years or something like that, you know,
and sure they might not have had every every smooth
sailing the whole time, but at the end of the day,
it's that commitment that will get you over you know,
a little rough patches or something like that, because you know,

(01:13:02):
it's a it's a no, it's non negotiable. Like you know,
you might you might have an argument, you might have
about something or other, but the non negotiable part of that,
you're you're you're committed, you know.

Speaker 2 (01:13:15):
Forevor basically, Brian, I'm gonna question you. You said that your
partner is your world, but do you do you have
a you know, family and good friends groups? Do you
both have friends outside of the relationship.

Speaker 6 (01:13:29):
To be fair, not really minimal, but that's that's that's
nothing unusual, you know, not neither of us be social people.
So you know, I like, I say, that's you. You've
probably got a point there that uh, you know, we're
largely do everything, you know, mm hmmm, we've lost Brian.

(01:13:55):
There were not groups.

Speaker 2 (01:13:58):
Yeah, thank you so much. If you called Brian, you're
just breaking up there a little bit. Yeah, that that
kind of because that's one of my theories and that's
not how true By Brian. But one of my theories
is really strong relationships are when both partners have strong
families and strong friend groups that they can unleash some
of their emotional baggage on or you know, spend some

(01:14:20):
time with and come back into the relationship with things.
Because especially it's I think it's particularly bad if one
person has a large friend group and the other person doesn't, definitely,
and then that person just gets completely brought into the
new friend group. Then I think that can be problematic.
I mean, I think it's great if people can keep
their friends and do their own things as well.

Speaker 3 (01:14:39):
I agree, I think.

Speaker 2 (01:14:40):
I mean it's not an absolute and clearly Brian saying
that that's not necessary in his relationship, but it always
seems the ones the relationships I see like that seem
to go pretty well often.

Speaker 3 (01:14:51):
Yeah, I mean it works for us that I actually
agree that if you do everything together, and some couples
can do that, and I take my head off to them,
But having that ability to go and do a weekend
away with with the lads, or a week in away
with the girls, or have those separate groups, to some
you know, to some extent, I think is incredibly healthy.

Speaker 2 (01:15:13):
Yeah, And I was just waiting for the text machine
to fire up because you said, everythink.

Speaker 3 (01:15:19):
Everywhere are gonna come. They are going to come on ZB.

Speaker 2 (01:15:22):
Everything everything, every piece of pronunciation or misusage of a
world word, we appreciate. I just could world instead of words,
so we'll get that one. But we're appreciate keeping us honest. Yeah,
but I quite like everythink everything.

Speaker 3 (01:15:36):
I don't encourage them. Here they come, Here they come.

Speaker 2 (01:15:39):
It's cute.

Speaker 3 (01:15:40):
Yeah. Oh, eight hundred and eighty ten eighty. Love to
hear your thoughts on what it takes to make a
great relationship. Last it is nine to three.

Speaker 1 (01:15:49):
The issues that affect you and a bit of fun
along the way. Matt Heath and Taylor Adams Afternoons you
for twenty twenty four you talk ZB News.

Speaker 3 (01:15:59):
Talks B it is six to three, and we've been
talking about what it takes to maintain a healthy relationship
long term.

Speaker 2 (01:16:06):
Hey, and look, as a person that is necessarily maintained
relationships for I've it's pretty much been in a monogamous
relationships for most of my adult life. Actually, our first
girlfriend was when I was fourteen till I was twenty one.
So you were doing well, Yeah, yeah, but I was
thinking about this thing I was going to share before,
and we'll keep this topic going on after after three o'clock.

(01:16:26):
So one hundred and eighteen eighty. If you're in a
successful relationship, how does it work? If you're not, why
didn't it work? This is all based on this Herald article.
But I read this really interesting book by this Australian
professor of philosophy called Robert E. Good Good and called Settling,
and he believes to have a fulfilliingeration that we must
settle for a period of time and an imperfect person.
It's also been written about by Oliver Berkman, another philosopher

(01:16:49):
in England, and Alan de Bouton. But the thing is,
we have this idea of the perfect person we're trying
to get, and this is what this article on the
hero's trying to say. And we often break up with
people for just the crime of not being perfect because
we can imagine everything. We can imagine the fantasy person.
We want someone that's exciting but also stable. We want

(01:17:09):
someone to be our best friend and the object of
our affections. We want someone comforting, you know, and someone
that will rip it up with us. And so often
we have partners that have to compete with everything we
can imagine, and that's impossible for someone to do. So
I just believe you need to find someone that you
love and like and then just put the work into

(01:17:30):
that and build on that, and just stop comparing them
with every other possibility that's out there in the world,
because no one can compete with that. And then people
break up relationships because someone's not perfect because they've watched
too many rom coms, or they've decided that Instagram pots
where you should be following your dreams and everyone should
be incredible, and then you can just end up being
alone for ten years when you look for this person
that doesn't exist. It's a crazy thing to do. You

(01:17:52):
just got to give up the fantasy and get over
yourself and just be with someone and work on the
relationship you've got. I mean, if it's a toxic and
horrible relationship, obviously you've got to get out. Yeah, I mean,
but barring that, you've got to realize that your partner
is your partner. They're not. They don't have to be
your best friend, they don't have to be the funniest

(01:18:12):
person in the world. You can have your best mate
can be the funniest person in the world, you know,
and another friend can be the most exciting person in
the world. But your partner doesn't have to be everything.

Speaker 4 (01:18:21):
You know.

Speaker 3 (01:18:22):
And I think once I came to the realization that,
believe it or not, I'm not a perfect person. You know.
I know you may think I am. But when I
was very happy to make a lot of sacrifices and
Mave would make sacrifices as well about you know, behavior
in that relationship. At that point I thought, Yep, I've
found there. But keen on your thoughts.

Speaker 2 (01:18:39):
I think you're a real catch.

Speaker 3 (01:18:40):
Tiler you mate you two oh eight hundred eighty ten
eighty is the number to call. Nine two nine two
is the text number New Sport and whether or on
its way. You're listening to Matt and Tyler. Good afternoon
is good afternoon. It is bang on twenty past three,

(01:19:06):
and we've been talking about relationships, yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:19:08):
Talking about love. After we read this quite interesting article
on the Herald today from Nick Beats, a psychologist. Over
his thirty year career, He's talked about what works for
Kiwi couple staying together, and he says we're being bombarded
by romantic mythos that if you just pick the right person,
it'll be easy. He says, it doesn't work that way.
How does it work? Wait? Hundred eighty ten eighty.

Speaker 3 (01:19:32):
Shane, you mate your rentend. You're gonna have a best friend.

Speaker 14 (01:19:37):
Yeap. She has to be your best friend. You're going
to be doing things with her that you're not going
to be doing with your male best friend, aren't you.

Speaker 3 (01:19:44):
Wow?

Speaker 2 (01:19:45):
Wow?

Speaker 14 (01:19:49):
So the relationship is more intimate. I've been married thirty
seven years. Okay. I tried to avoid my wife like
the plague in the early days because I knew she
liked me. But the thing is, I'm a Christian, so
you know, I meaned it up marrying us. She wasn't
the woman I wanted. He was the woman I needed,

(01:20:14):
you know. And I would tell most young people, make
sure you have the person you were going to spend
your life with as a friend before you do it.
Have sex with her, wow, because what's going to happen
is if you have lots or sex with other people,

(01:20:36):
you're always going to be judging your partner by previous relationships. Right. So, anyway,
I had, she was my best friend, Sae.

Speaker 2 (01:20:51):
If you don't mind Shane, if you don't mind me asking,
and you don't have to answer this because it's about
personal So she was your first She was the first
person you were intimate with.

Speaker 14 (01:21:01):
I let me start. My dad and mum got divorced
in nineteen sixty eight, sixty four, now right, and then
Dare got married. Three points when I got married. When
I got married to my wife, I vowed and declared
that my children will never have to go through the

(01:21:24):
anxiety that I went through as a child, growing wondering
which parents care invite to the wedding? Who's coming Christmas?

Speaker 3 (01:21:33):
Just quit, Shane, Sorry to jump in there. How old
were you when your parents divorced? Eight eight? And I
take it it was a challenging divorce for your parents.

Speaker 2 (01:21:43):
It was.

Speaker 14 (01:21:43):
And I looked after three of my siblings while dad
did three jobs. We stayed with dad. So you know,
my wife and I'll be married thirty seven years. The
thing is you've got to take them walks and all
as they have to do with you. As long as
a man has respect, is given respect and the woman

(01:22:07):
has given love. You love your wife, but just as
long as I have respect, so.

Speaker 3 (01:22:14):
You said before, Shane, and I think you've answered it
pretty well. But you said that she wasn't the woman
that you wanted, but it was the woman that you needed.
What did you need?

Speaker 14 (01:22:25):
Well, I needed someone I innestally wanted someone who would
argue with me and all that and looked a certain
way and all that sort of stuff. The thing is,
your body is going to deteriorate over time. So what
you have, you've got to have somebody that you can

(01:22:47):
live with and your soulmate. That that's what you look at.
You're not looking at their body and how the sort
of changing. You're looking at the person you married, the
person who is your best friend, the intrinsic being of
that person, because a physical is going to change. My
wife is just had cancer and had them the secretly

(01:23:10):
I still love that woman.

Speaker 3 (01:23:14):
That's beautiful.

Speaker 14 (01:23:14):
Shame. She is the mother of my children, you know,
the grandmother. She is perfect for me. You know, she
knew how to put up with me and how to
put me in my place without being obnoxious about it.

Speaker 3 (01:23:32):
Yeah, Shane, thank you very much. Mate.

Speaker 2 (01:23:36):
Got a text here from an Amelia, Matt and Tyler.
The key to a good relationship is your husband doing
his thing and you doing your own. Thing as much
as possible. So this kind of an opposing opinion that
we've just had. You can't be in each other's pocket.
Time a part makes the heart go stronger. Although we
are only twenty three, so things might change.

Speaker 3 (01:23:55):
Yeah, nice.

Speaker 2 (01:23:58):
I started reading that text. I thought it was someone
that had been together for twenty three years. They are
only twenty three. Sure, can you crack the TA cod?
I mean, how long have they been married? They're only
twenty three.

Speaker 3 (01:24:08):
Hey, if it's working for them, it's working for them.

Speaker 2 (01:24:10):
We've been married for two months and I've cracked the code.
It's not spending any time with your partner.

Speaker 3 (01:24:14):
Oh eight hundred eighty ten eighty is a number to call.
It is twenty five past three.

Speaker 1 (01:24:23):
Matt Heathen, Tyler Adams afternoons call oh eight hundred and
eighty ten eighty on News Talk ZB.

Speaker 3 (01:24:29):
What is the key to a long and healthy relationship?
That's a question. We're asking a.

Speaker 2 (01:24:33):
Bit of a pushback on the call just said before?
What was that guy? I forget? His name is Shane Shane, Shane,
Matt and Tyler the man who said your wife needs
to respect you, but you only need to love her.
I would never stay with a man who loved but
didn't respect me. I love my dog, but I don't
respect his opinion. That is silly. That is from imagen Emogen.

Speaker 3 (01:24:52):
Yeah, yes, good text.

Speaker 2 (01:24:53):
Yeah, so Shane was saying that he absolutely loves and
adores his wife in every part of her and she
respects him. Yeah, but I'm not sure if he said
that she doesn't love him and that he doesn't respect her.
But yeah, I might have to unpack that.

Speaker 3 (01:25:07):
Call a good pushback via the text image and thank
you another text to you get our guys asigned from
many other things. You need to have a compatible attitude
to money from Felicity, And that is true.

Speaker 2 (01:25:19):
A compatible attitude to money. What does that mean?

Speaker 3 (01:25:22):
Well maybe not because now the more that I think
about it, me and may have are kind of polar
opposites when we come to money. I hate spending money
and she loves us. And you know, both of us
are wrong that I'm too much of a scrooge and
maybe she's a bit just too free on things.

Speaker 2 (01:25:37):
Are you stillly with her spending money? Like do you
hastle her about his expenditure? Are you checking the credit card?
Are you are you are you turning your nose up
when boxes arrive.

Speaker 3 (01:25:49):
We've still got separate accounts I have you, So you
know that's I mean, that's ano topic in herself, isn't
it whose accounts?

Speaker 6 (01:25:55):
Bugge?

Speaker 3 (01:25:56):
Definitely my, definitely my. I add one hundred.

Speaker 2 (01:26:01):
Does she respect that?

Speaker 14 (01:26:03):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (01:26:04):
Yeah, she enjoys it?

Speaker 12 (01:26:05):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:26:06):
I add one hundred eighty ten eight years a number
to call Morris. How are you mate?

Speaker 19 (01:26:11):
Oh?

Speaker 12 (01:26:12):
Pretty good?

Speaker 4 (01:26:12):
Boys?

Speaker 8 (01:26:13):
Well, and I like saying I'm exactly the opposite for
I've got a story for you. I have twelve kids
to nine different women.

Speaker 2 (01:26:20):
Wow. Wow.

Speaker 12 (01:26:21):
And I had the thirteenth one about six weeks ago.
And I'm fifty seven.

Speaker 2 (01:26:25):
Wow. So you've got twelve kids to nine different woman
and now you've had a thirteenth.

Speaker 12 (01:26:29):
Thirteenth Yeah, but is that a tenth woman or.

Speaker 2 (01:26:32):
Is that a tenth woman or is it the ninth woman?

Speaker 12 (01:26:34):
It's the thirteenth woman. And we've been together for seven years,
saying can I get this right?

Speaker 2 (01:26:38):
So that you've had thirteen kids with nine women or
thirteen kids with ten women?

Speaker 12 (01:26:42):
Now, I had twelve kids with nine women.

Speaker 2 (01:26:45):
Yep.

Speaker 8 (01:26:45):
Between the age of twenty five and fifty and twenty
five years, I meet someone when I was fifty one.

Speaker 12 (01:26:50):
We've been together since, we've got we've just had a child. Wow,
So I think I know how it works. It just
took me a wee while to work it out.

Speaker 2 (01:27:00):
What do you know how it works?

Speaker 8 (01:27:03):
In the judge a book by its cover, it was
about you know, the book was the color. I never
read the never read the book, and start the story
off just the book by the cover.

Speaker 12 (01:27:12):
Usually a bar.

Speaker 8 (01:27:13):
Sol bar was a great place, and there was a
whole host of them. And then next thing know, four
months later you're in in love for four months, she's
up with us, and then you think, then the last
two years right until you work out, I can't I
write this anymore. So you just pay the mate that
sort of out, move them on and make sure they're fine,
and you become a parent separate parents, and well it
sort of took me st of my relationships and twelve

(01:27:35):
kids before you worked it out, and hey, this is
not working, which wasn't that great?

Speaker 12 (01:27:40):
And I can show you the guys who rang in
about the way I employed people. They'll rung out and
say because I've met half of them, and I.

Speaker 8 (01:27:46):
And say they were lovely girls, but they just weren't
for me. So the one I've got now, she's actually
we have our own life.

Speaker 12 (01:27:53):
She does her things, I do mine.

Speaker 8 (01:27:56):
I go to the pub on a Saturday and we're
into race horses and have a few bets of the boys,
have a few beers.

Speaker 12 (01:28:01):
She doesn't mind. She spends time with her mates. We
have her own thing.

Speaker 8 (01:28:04):
We have our things together, and I have my things
with the young kids, you know, and we do that
together with the fand and everyone's inclusive.

Speaker 14 (01:28:10):
And she has I.

Speaker 8 (01:28:12):
Respect her opinion, you know, like when your Cinda is
and she was a fan of you, Cinda, believe you me,
that was so hard to agree with. So I just
didn't say anything, but I respect that was her belief.
And you must respect your opinion and you must respect them.
And you've also got to have that into connection because
if you don't have that in tenderly look and able
the scene straight away and in.

Speaker 12 (01:28:31):
What I found is not only is the best mate.
We go and hang out together, We go and watch
movies together.

Speaker 8 (01:28:36):
We even go walking down the beach because that's what
we quite enjoyed them with the dogs. But we respect
each other and we enjoy each other's company. At the
same time, we have our own lives, which is really
really important. And on finances, I just said, this is
how much we have to spend each week. I need
this much out of that.

Speaker 12 (01:28:53):
What do you need? You is I need this much?

Speaker 8 (01:28:54):
Well, that's what we get and whatever else is best
day we save and it goes into this system.

Speaker 12 (01:28:58):
We agree on it. We do an annual budget. We
agree on what we require, and that's what we do.

Speaker 8 (01:29:04):
And money's ever been in issue because we're financially pretty
well there. But at the same time, like you, almost
as pilot, who's like to spend I like a little
few constraints on that. I don't mind spending within a degree,
But I don't like abservices.

Speaker 2 (01:29:18):
You know, well you must have if you've got that
many kids, though you must your disposable income must be
being taxed heavily by the other.

Speaker 8 (01:29:27):
See, it's all about negotiations. So I will contribute to
the house. I will pay the house. I'll give you
somewhere to live. I'll contribute that. I'll put the kids
through school, through private school.

Speaker 12 (01:29:37):
I'll pay for the clothes.

Speaker 8 (01:29:38):
You get a job and feed them right, I'll pay
for daycare and and and all the girls, and I've
had all the women i've had children live are actually
all good sorts. But we just didn't get on.

Speaker 12 (01:29:49):
And they're all quite.

Speaker 8 (01:29:50):
They don't want to sit on their hands and knees
and wait for the check to come each month. They're
all quite want to work on all the rest. So
I'd pay for daycare. I'd make sure there's a roofs
over the head. That's your obligations as a parent, and
I make sure the kids went to the right school.
And if you take those costs out of raising children,
they're feeding them and that that's quite.

Speaker 12 (01:30:07):
Reasonable, you know, And that's in seriously, it's worked.

Speaker 8 (01:30:12):
Out Of all those nine women, there's only one who
hates me. She was the first one.

Speaker 12 (01:30:18):
She genuinely loads me. Well, I don't know what I
think that was.

Speaker 8 (01:30:21):
We got we had twins first up, she was the
twins are three months old.

Speaker 12 (01:30:25):
Just pinged them again. It's not my fault. Christian will
be rich now.

Speaker 2 (01:30:30):
So my question for you, Maris is before we go
so not a fan of contraception.

Speaker 12 (01:30:36):
Odd Catholic.

Speaker 3 (01:30:38):
That'll explain it.

Speaker 2 (01:30:39):
Okay, there we get all right.

Speaker 3 (01:30:40):
Then we've got a lot of kids to look after
you when you're in the retirement home. I've got to say, Morris,
so well done there, thank you very much. A rout
twelve kids to nine different women and one hates them.

Speaker 2 (01:30:52):
No, I didn't that know. I think was there was
twelve kids to nine women and then one to one.
So now there's ten women and thirteen kids, I believe.

Speaker 3 (01:30:59):
So he was pretty busy between the ages of twenty
five and fifty. He reckoned.

Speaker 2 (01:31:03):
He really gave it a good nudge. The did he.

Speaker 3 (01:31:05):
Certainly heads One hundred eighty two is a number to call.
It is twenty six minutes before headlines coming.

Speaker 2 (01:31:12):
Up US talks.

Speaker 16 (01:31:16):
It'd be headlines with blue bubble taxis. It's no trouble
with a blue bubble, the opposition says. Announcements more jobs
are likely to go at Health New Zealand are awful.
Timing staff have been told of proposals to disestablish more roles.
The Prime Minister is expected to announce a new police
station in Auckland in Federal Street today, a move from

(01:31:38):
College Hill. Fargarday's mayor is a fan of a new
plan to build a terminal for Bitumen stores at Marston Point,
saying it'll be great for the region. A number of
proposals have been made for reinvigorating the moth balled facility.
Two separate gps who, when appropriately issued medical COVID vaccine
exemption certificates, have been ruled to have breached consumers' rights codes.

(01:32:02):
A forty eight year old man already charged with arson
over a fatal fire in Fargardes Dickypung in April, has
now also been charged with murder. Project jonah So's thirty
six whales stranded at Rukaka Beach was saved by a
huge Northland community effort. Three adults and the calf didn't
make it, but most of the pod made it back offshore.

(01:32:25):
Gang expert doctor Jared Gilbert aren't lanes the pros and
cons of the government's controversial new patch ban. You can
read the full column it ends in Herald Premium. Back
to matt Ethan Tyler Adams.

Speaker 3 (01:32:36):
Thank you, Aileen, it's twenty two to four and a
fascinating discussion about what makes a relationship work long term
and a great phone call from Morris.

Speaker 2 (01:32:44):
Yeah, Morris is really fired up the text machine. Here's
something from Susie thirteen kids with ten women Marris no
I am Catholic. There are methods available to you exactly.
But you know, all these thirteen kids that he's got
with these ten women, they're probably all fantastic people and
we're happy to have them on the planet.

Speaker 3 (01:33:01):
Yep, yeah, absolutely nicely, said a quick text here from
Susan as well. I would hate to be with that
man as all those kids. I am older. They're my husband,
and so we enjoy doing things together. My husband will
often phone me up it is lunchtime. He is a
builder and works very hard, which I do appreciate that
love the lunchtime phone calls.

Speaker 2 (01:33:20):
Oh yeah, okay, Yeah, I think I think a phone
call is important thing, isn't it? You know, communication, telling
people what's going on in your life. Yeah, you know,
I think I think that's probably quite quite a good
thing for relationships.

Speaker 3 (01:33:31):
Do you do that during the day? We are we
romantic text here and there.

Speaker 2 (01:33:36):
If I see something funny, I might send a picture.

Speaker 3 (01:33:38):
Yeah, it's good. Humor is important. Andrew, how are you
this afternoon?

Speaker 20 (01:33:44):
Good?

Speaker 21 (01:33:44):
Tyler?

Speaker 10 (01:33:45):
How are you?

Speaker 14 (01:33:45):
Yeah?

Speaker 12 (01:33:45):
Good?

Speaker 3 (01:33:46):
What's your thoughts?

Speaker 21 (01:33:48):
As I listen to people talking often saying that when
a relationship beens, there's a feeling that I don't know
you have to hate the other one. And I think
it's important to think of there, how are you gonna
have a relationships Hair? Your weeks are that as and

(01:34:09):
is as important as how.

Speaker 19 (01:34:11):
You enter it.

Speaker 21 (01:34:12):
So you and I'm only speaking from personal experience, and
I think everyone's got to find their own ying and
yang and xing with a partner. But my either twenty
seven year old son to a different woman than my
current partner, and I have two children to my current partner.
My ex partner is the god godmother of my two

(01:34:35):
children with my new one, and I look, it takes
out all that I guess arguing over visitation rights and
all of that sort of things. It's just we are
still a family unit, but just different. I guess what's
the normous And it is a reflection of Hair. Myself

(01:34:57):
and my ex ended that furse relationship, and it was
with the same love and respect that we ended it with.
We worked there very quickly that whilst we love each other,
it's the worst thing for the world was for us
to be a couple. And I think if you acknowledge
that to yourself and you're honest with the person who

(01:35:18):
are techning with then you can exitent with with respect
and love. You know, have to go and cheat and
find someone else as your method of breaking up with someone.
I just I've never understood cheating. I just I just don't.
If you love someone, you're just how can you do

(01:35:39):
that to them? And if you've fallen for someone else,
you've got to front up and be honest about at
early doors.

Speaker 2 (01:35:48):
Yeah, yeah, I.

Speaker 21 (01:35:50):
Just knew we shouldn't be together.

Speaker 2 (01:35:51):
There's a lot of you know, talking about relationships, but
a lot of people don't really know how to end
relationships when they have to, or behave when a relationship
has been end ended on them and asking someone about
this the other day. And the most important thing that
you've got to do, I believe when a relationship ends
is keep your dignity. Yeah, you got hold onto your dignity.

(01:36:13):
And that involves not being an idiot, not yelling, screaming,
not over texting, not hang out in front of workplaces,
the whole bunch of things that people can do. And
so then they've not only lost their partner, but they've
lost their dignity. So if anyone's going through a breakup,
I think that's the thing they've got to always just
hold on to remember, keep your dignity, Keep your dignity,
it's all you've got. You behave in a way that

(01:36:36):
you can feel proud of yourself once you've gotten over
this person, because if you look back and you've not
only lost someone, but you've made an absolute fool of yourself,
then you not only hate them, you hate yourself as well.

Speaker 3 (01:36:47):
Exactly just on that and my long term partner before mate,
we were together about six years and the way that
that ended. I wasn't that happy to lose dignity. No,
I didn't lose my dignity, but my partner. I'm not
going to mention her name. She was very upset with me,
and I thought the best approach there was that you

(01:37:08):
ever to be ah yeah, yeah, looking back, we were
not compatible, were definitely not compatible. But I thought the
best approach was a clean cut, that I stop all
communication and have that clean cut. I look back now
and I regret that because now we're not on speaking terms.
We may you know, I saw her about three years
ago and we were okay chatting to each other, but

(01:37:30):
part of me deeply regrets that that I should have
done that in a better way. Has kept those communications
lines open. If she was angry at me, let her
be angry and with you know the once time goes on.
That we could have remained some sort of friendship there,
but we are. We're not friends anymore, and part of
me I'm good at about that.

Speaker 2 (01:37:49):
You Heartbreakerson says, Hey, Matt and Tyl left. That guy
with the thirteen kids, nine mothers was such a good Catholic.
He would have married who got married to the first
baby moment and still be with that. How unfair to
those children to have all those siblings split over multiple
households or the part time dad spreads so thin as
regards Tracy, Yeah, context not my trace is a different spelling.

Speaker 3 (01:38:10):
Yeah Morris again though, man, people love.

Speaker 2 (01:38:12):
Them when Marris rings, saying only we've only talked to
him twice, but both times he've got the text between
going on. He's a controversial figure, but he's full of confidence.

Speaker 3 (01:38:21):
We love him. Seventeen to four.

Speaker 1 (01:38:25):
Mattie Tyler Adams with you as your afternoon rolls on,
Matt Tyler Adams Afternoons used talk said, be.

Speaker 3 (01:38:33):
Youse talk said, is fourteen to four really interesting conversation
about relationships of what makes a relationship work, and I'm
none the wiser really, I mean after Morris is convo
and I love Morris, but holy.

Speaker 2 (01:38:48):
Yeah, that's right. So as someone said, a let's peak
the interest Maris with his thirteen kids with ten women. Yeah,
this text nine two high boys. Can you organize a
Q and a segment with Morris? My curacy has been
peaked that.

Speaker 3 (01:39:02):
We definitely will do that.

Speaker 2 (01:39:03):
But also, hey, Tyler is should have not should of?
That's from hither.

Speaker 3 (01:39:08):
Oh there's a smiley face there.

Speaker 2 (01:39:11):
But look, we're we're here, you and me, Tyler, we're
here to become better people. And the includes horrific pronunciation
and and our grammar and addiction. It's terrible, particularly yours.
Mine's pretty good unless you get me talking about milk.
That that really gets the text machine going when we
talk about milk prices.

Speaker 3 (01:39:32):
Yeah, they love that Southern twining, don't they. It's milk,
it's milk, milk, it's milk, Tyler, Sarah, how are you this.

Speaker 20 (01:39:39):
Afternoon glass thing?

Speaker 3 (01:39:41):
Guys, Now you are forty eight years old and carry on,
You've got a story to tell us.

Speaker 20 (01:39:49):
Yeah, yeah, we're in formed two when I meet my
daughter's stead. So we we're frings. Hook up was something
when I was lying teen and got pregnant. Uh, I
need to do it to o the day because I
got house problems, he believes. See, so I couldn't raise

(01:40:10):
wake it up by myself. Yep, yes, you see. So
we've always been friends and we still have friends here
today and it's like three years of friendship. Yeah, he believes.

(01:40:30):
So I couldn't raise up for myself. She leaves dead.
You see.

Speaker 3 (01:40:35):
Are you still together now, Sarah?

Speaker 20 (01:40:38):
No, we broke up. We're still friends because of my daughter.

Speaker 16 (01:40:44):
You know.

Speaker 20 (01:40:44):
It's a private thing. Well a long time.

Speaker 3 (01:40:47):
Yeah, And why did you break up?

Speaker 20 (01:40:51):
A good last generations, you know, and we've asn't got
good parents. It's just not me and nn as our
parents and my parents are being together all my life.
His parents are been together. Lesson comes from stable families.

Speaker 3 (01:41:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 20 (01:41:13):
One song. One song was really influenced when I was
growing up as a teenagers Madonna's Madonna Mother's.

Speaker 3 (01:41:25):
Own preach don't yep, that's good.

Speaker 20 (01:41:29):
Yeah, because I'm keeping my baby and I did. I
hate too. I needed to do itself. I didn't want
to bring it up on my own and someone would
these days, I think, oh, we'll stop for good. I'm off,
you know I need because I see.

Speaker 3 (01:41:51):
Yeah, well, Sarah, you sound like a good mum, and
good on you for staying friends. Father.

Speaker 2 (01:41:57):
I think this Texas from the controversial Morris.

Speaker 6 (01:42:00):
Sure.

Speaker 2 (01:42:00):
Yeah, but it seems to be just to clarify, all
the kids are very close. Four went to the same school,
and every second year we all do Christmas together on birthdays.
The oldest kids are in their thirties, are still make
it make time for their siblings.

Speaker 3 (01:42:14):
Oh that's nice if that is from Morris.

Speaker 2 (01:42:16):
Yeah, I'm assuming it's from Mars. Yeah, well that's that's
the main person people are talking about in the text machines.

Speaker 3 (01:42:24):
Yeah right, we're going to wrap this up very shortly.

Speaker 2 (01:42:27):
Another one hundred the other persons. There wasn't Morris the
same guy who let rip in the truck he cooked
the Dutch ovens, no wonder everyone took off. Yeah, Morris
was the one that said that he couldn't work with
someone because she couldn't handle that he liked to break
wind in the yute on the way to work. So Marris,
he's he's a controversial figure, but ring any time, Morris.

Speaker 3 (01:42:50):
We love your course. One hundred eighty. Ten eighty is
the number to call. It is ten to four.

Speaker 1 (01:42:57):
The big stories, the big issues, the big trends, and
everything in between. That Heath and Tyler Adams Afternoons you
for twenty twenty four US talk, said B said B.

Speaker 3 (01:43:08):
Six to four. We're talking about relationships.

Speaker 2 (01:43:11):
Yeah, after a great article that you'll find in the
Herald from psychologist Net Beats talking about his thirty year
career and hundreds of Kiwi couples. Chris, your thoughts on
a successful relationship, Well.

Speaker 11 (01:43:23):
I think it's pretty plasic.

Speaker 18 (01:43:25):
Really.

Speaker 11 (01:43:25):
You've got to have trust, You've got to grow together
because you know you hopefully will be together for quite
a long time. You've got to have a good sense
of humor, share the same sense of humor. But I
think values and goals are very important. And I also
think that you can't really get ahead unless you share
your money.

Speaker 2 (01:43:43):
Ah right, Yes, that's what Tyler's not doing. He's squirreling
his money away and not sharing it with his partner
because he thinks she's been too much.

Speaker 3 (01:43:50):
Wow, you guys might think that even though we've got
separate account she gets all one money, all my money.
How long have you been married Chris.

Speaker 11 (01:44:01):
Fifty two years.

Speaker 2 (01:44:02):
Oh I see, there you go. So you need to
listen to Chris other than your scroogey ways.

Speaker 3 (01:44:08):
Thank you very much, Chross. Right, I think that's all
my stars.

Speaker 2 (01:44:10):
Oh yeah, I just thought I found this great reading
from a book that I found called a Lifeless Punishing
Thirteen Ways to Love your Life forgot by a It's
by a guy called Matt Heath.

Speaker 3 (01:44:19):
Oh yeah, I feel that's okay, yeh yeah yeah, good
good read if you.

Speaker 2 (01:44:23):
Are reading from it. It's the number one. It was
the number one best seller, this book from Matt Heath.
If you spend your life searching for a person who
doesn't exist, you're going to spend a serious amount of
your time on your own. And his life changing book
The Course of Love, British author Alan Debuton argues that
is infantile to expect someone to be simultaneously a best friend,
a lover, a co part a coach, chaffair, and a

(01:44:45):
business partner. This idea leads to resentment and disappointment and
ruins marriages that could otherwise have been fruitful and rewarding.
A partner doesn't need to fill all of these roles
in your life. Your mates can be your best mates,
your business partner, your business partner, and your lover. Your lover.
All you have to do is find someone you like
who loves you, and you love back once you're done,
settle sensible.

Speaker 3 (01:45:06):
Yeah, I love that though. That's a beautiful quote. So
what's the book again?

Speaker 2 (01:45:09):
It's a lifeless, punishing Thirteen Ways to Love Your Life
you got by A mad Heath available and all good
bookstores number one be selling.

Speaker 3 (01:45:16):
Can I just borrow that copy?

Speaker 2 (01:45:17):
No, you can buy one off me.

Speaker 3 (01:45:21):
Thank you very much for today. Love the conversation that
is us though.

Speaker 2 (01:45:26):
Yeah, and hey, until tomorrow, give them a taste of
keyw from me.

Speaker 10 (01:46:13):
Mad and Tyler.

Speaker 1 (01:46:16):
For more from News Talk st B, listen live on
air or online, and keep our shows with you wherever
you go with our podcasts on iHeartRadio

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