Full Show Podcast: 30 January 2025

On the Matt Heath and Tyler Adams Afternoons Full Show Podcast for the 30th of January - the Doomsday Clock is ticking close to midnight, but is the world really closer to destruction?  

The Afternoons duo then look at the touchy subject of when relationships between siblings turn sour and you have to walk away.

Plus, tattoos - has all the stigma round them gone now?  

Get the Matt Heath and Tyler Adams Afternoons Podcast every weekday afternoon on iHeartRadio, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:09):
You're listening to a podcast from News Talk sed B.
Follow this and our Wide Ranger podcasts now on iHeartRadio.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
Hello, are you great New Zealanders? And welcome to Matt
and Tyler Afternoon's Full Show podcast number fifty eight.

Speaker 3 (00:24):
Nice. You said you were going to do the homework
and you came through. You were counting fastidiously this morning,
one by one.

Speaker 2 (00:30):
Yep, number fifty eight. Did you say the number fifty eight?
That's show tattoos. We've had show tattoos. God, we've just
been talking about tattoos. It's a spoiler for the end
of the show and another spoiler in the show when
we talk about tattoos. For some reason, it went downstairs immediately.
There was three genital tattoos and one hundreds of texts
for people that have had poll ups tattooed during colonoscopiece. Yeah,

(00:50):
and what it wasn't where we thought the conversation was
going to go. No, yeah, but anyway, it was my
job to count up to fifty eight from now on.
Who's going to be the podcast counter? The official counter?
Can you remember that it's fifty night and tomorrow.

Speaker 3 (01:04):
I'm just writing down fifty nine right now. And I
suppose I've taken all that job. I can't get out of.

Speaker 2 (01:09):
That because that means a lot. Because the fact that
we've done fifty eight Tattoos Got Tattoos podcasts.

Speaker 3 (01:16):
That's coming up and about well it's very soon, Eiache
and you've got to love that too.

Speaker 2 (01:20):
Just dropped the back of an hour of talking about tatoos.
So fifty eight that's a lot, a lot. When we
started the show, you know, I remember the night before,
I was thinking, boy boy, I've got to start doing
Talkbauck Radio tomorrow. And now I've done fifty eight full shows.

Speaker 3 (01:32):
It was like kind of yused to.

Speaker 2 (01:33):
So it's exciting to be counting them down because at
some point in the not too distant future, we'll be
doing one hundred shows and we'll do some kind of
one hundred show celebration.

Speaker 3 (01:41):
Yeah, we've got to do something special for that one.

Speaker 2 (01:43):
Because my last job on Breakfast and Radio HURARKI I
didn't even notice when I've done ten years, like the
ten years went.

Speaker 3 (01:50):
Past goes there.

Speaker 2 (01:51):
It wasn't until I was asked to come up here
that I looked into how long I've been on the
other show, and it was eleven years and I was like, God,
damn it, we missed the ten year celebration. So on
the Matt and Tyler Afternoons, we're not going to miss
these these key moments like the one hundredth show and such.

Speaker 3 (02:06):
And just quickly we're going to come up with a
pun of slash reward for the way, and we talked
about that. We still haven't figured that out. So yeah,
we'll keep track of the number of podcasts and we'll
figure out our reward and punishment system.

Speaker 2 (02:16):
Yeah, but great show today, Sit to down load and
follow and such, and I hope you enjoy Matt and
Tyler Afternoon's number fifty eight. Good taste, KIWI.

Speaker 4 (02:29):
Talking with you all afternoon.

Speaker 1 (02:30):
It's Matt Heath and Taylor Adams Afternoon with the Volvo
X ninety US talks.

Speaker 3 (02:36):
Be good afternoon to you Thursday, Welcome into the show.
Seven past one.

Speaker 2 (02:43):
About that Dame Lisa Carrington, Oh, incredible amount of amount
of works you'll have to put on again.

Speaker 3 (02:48):
You just she's just an absolute beast. And I say
that with obviously a lot of love.

Speaker 2 (02:54):
She must love it. Yeah, well yeah, I suppose. I mean,
can you love that kind of training? I mean, it's
basically that's such hard training. I wonder if you can
actually I guess you can enjoy it after it.

Speaker 3 (03:06):
Yeah, I just couldn't comp How many hours do you
think she'd put in in a week and ahead of
the Olympics we talk the what like thirty hours of training?

Speaker 5 (03:14):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (03:14):
Oh I don't know. Yeah, I've got no idea.

Speaker 3 (03:17):
We get her on the show actually, yeah, we had her.

Speaker 2 (03:18):
On the show last year and she didn't give us
the scoop that she was going again.

Speaker 3 (03:21):
But yeah, very humble person, but an absolute legend and
great news that she's going to be competing again in
the next Olympics too.

Speaker 2 (03:27):
She's such a great New Zealander. Yeah, goat in the
boat love Dame Lisa Carrington. Big show today after three o'clock.
We're going to be talking about tattoos. Yeah, that's right
because where we got here, we got a the founder
of Here we Go, Here we Go, Steven Sinclair, talking
about twenty years of tattoos in New Zealand at two

(03:47):
Hands Tattoo. How have tattoo stigmas changed in New Zealand
twenty years ago two thousand and five. A lot of
tattoos around then, but there's so many tattoos around there
around I think New Zealand might be the most tattooed
country in the world.

Speaker 3 (04:03):
Well, that was one of his claims. The Stefan Spider
is his nickname. Hell of a nickname for a tattoo artist.
But sleeves were a big one. It wasn't too long
ago that the full tattoo sleeve on your arm would
be considered quite taboo. That was, you know, a little
bit risque and would challenge a lot of people. If
someone saw the full sleeve tattoo, they think gang member,

(04:25):
which is just not the case anymore. Quite trendy.

Speaker 2 (04:27):
Now, well, I've got a mate who's a very successful
lawyer that's just had a full sleeve done.

Speaker 3 (04:31):
Wow, that is interesting.

Speaker 2 (04:32):
Yeah, so I think it's the tab Well could be
wrong because I was asking you before, as mytylo was saying,
would you get a nick tattoo?

Speaker 4 (04:39):
Nah?

Speaker 2 (04:40):
And you said nahah. But would you not hire someone
if they had a nicktatto? Why do you think you
shouldn't get a nick tato? Because you know, I think
even twenty years ago or ten years ago, I think
seeing a neck tato was quite you know, it was
it was rare, but now they're everywhere. People have every

(05:00):
part of themselves tattoo.

Speaker 3 (05:01):
That's a great question, actually, because even now, if I
saw someone with a nick tattoo down the street, my
barber has a nick tattoo, and I love my barbies
a good But if I saw someone down the street
with a neck tattoo, part of me would be thinking,
is that a lovable rogue or is that a game member?
But that's going to be the chat after three o'clock.
After two o'clock, when to call time on a toxic

(05:22):
sibling relationship? Great story in the Herald about times where
grudges or arguments or maybe something a little bit further
than that wrecked the relationship between siblings, and it certainly
is if you've got a sibling, certainly something that can
come to the four on occasion in families. I know

(05:42):
with my older brother we had a bit of a
falling out over what was something really minor, but we
didn't chat for about three months until we came to
the conclusion that it wasn't that big of a deal
and what the hell are we doing. We're adults here.
But it is a big thing, right, Sibling rivalry?

Speaker 2 (05:57):
Yeah, I just can't see what my sisters could do
to me that would make me hate them and not
want to talk to them anymore, to cut them off
like this woman has. Because the reasons why she's talking
about cutting her sister off a minor was a bit selfish,
backstabbed her a little bit. I think my sisters could
backstam me a lot. They probably have. I don't care.
I still love them. Yeah, I think you've got to
be You've got to stick with family pretty much, no

(06:19):
matter what I mean outside. You know, you know, violence
and crime. Yeah, but even crime, I reckon if one
of my sisters robbed a bank, I'd probably still go
and visit the moncharism.

Speaker 3 (06:31):
Yeah, yeah, you've always got a well I think. Yeah,
for the most part. You've got to back your family,
unless that it is something really extreme, as you say,
But if you've had a falling out with your sibling,
love to hear from you after two o'clock, because right
now we won't to have a chat about the state
of the world right now. This is on the back
of the doomsday clock.

Speaker 2 (06:49):
Yeah, that's right. The doomsday clock, which symbolizes how close
humanity is to destruction, ticked one second closer to midnight
on Tuesday, over concerns about nuclear war, climate, and public health.
And this is put together by the bulletin of the
Atomic Scientists, which set the clock up at the start
of the Cold War. So they've shifted the clock to
eighty nine seconds to midnight, and they've sort of hoisted

(07:10):
themselves on their own potad if that's probably not the
right saying for it, but they can't take as big
as jumps because they've been chicken lickening for a very
long time. So now they're having to take it by
seconds when they first started the doomsday clock. So I
think this is a really good time to live. And
I was thinking about this other day, and I'd love
to hear people's thoughts on this one hundred and eighty

(07:31):
ten eighty, whether they think the world's about to end,
what the big dangers are for us, and how they
feel about the current era we live in, because I
was thinking the other day, I'm glad my kids are
growing up in this area. This seems like a very
good error to grow up in. You know, Starvation isn't
a problem like it was for most of the history
of humanity, you know, like a famine could just hit
at any time. Up until very very recently, I think,

(07:55):
you know, the in fact, the opposite is the problem.
You know, we have a much bigger problem than we
have with obesity as opposed to people not being able
to get food. I think that's a huge thing. I
think people have a lot of opportunities now that they
did in terms of travel, in terms of technology at
their fingertips. I think there's I think there's a great
time for kids to be alive.

Speaker 6 (08:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (08:16):
So, but am I just being a Am I too positive?
Is it really eighty nine seconds to midnight oclongs of
the doomsday clock?

Speaker 3 (08:25):
I'd actually be with you. I mean there not too
long ago that I would have accepted or felt that
we were in a precarious position as a planet. But
that's I think because I was been bombarded on all
sides by various news and information about this is going
to happen, and and you know, various aspects of geopolitical craziness,

(08:45):
is going to mean that sooner or later someone's going
to press the nuke button. But I don't feel that
way anymore. I being told that for the last thirty
years of my life, well since I started reading news.
I've been told that.

Speaker 2 (08:56):
When I was growing up in the eighties, is a
little kid, I was terrified of nuclear war. That's what
we hear about all the time, when the wind blows.
This book that was read to me terrifying by Missus
O'Leary at Marty Hill Primary School, terrifying, and there was
threads it was and the day after tomorrow I think

(09:16):
the name of these two movies that played on TV
about nuclear war. There was the Cold War was going on.
Reagan and was arguing with the Russians. It was a
terrifying time. Never happened. Yeah, so I'm less scared now
than I was when I was a kid in the eighties.

Speaker 3 (09:33):
At the end of the world, yeah, oh e one
hundred eighty ten eighty is an amical nine two nine two.
Is there something that we've always as humans? We kind
of need to have problems, right, And the joke is
its first will problems, But the reality is we do
need things to try and solve. If we don't have
any problems, we're kind of not really happy with our life.
And I know that sounds weird, but that to me

(09:54):
is just that it's just a situation. You think.

Speaker 2 (09:58):
Talking about existential crisises to the world makes people happy
in a way.

Speaker 3 (10:03):
I think it's a human need. It's a human need
to try and find challenges and problem to solve, even
when life has never been better than it is today.

Speaker 2 (10:12):
Yeah, well, okay, well has it been?

Speaker 7 (10:14):
Was it?

Speaker 6 (10:14):
Though?

Speaker 2 (10:15):
Maybe peop don't think it is our eight hundred and
eighteen eighty Is this a good time to be alive?
Or are we about to all die in a fiery apocalypse?

Speaker 3 (10:22):
Eighty nine seconds away? Let's get into it. It is
fourteen past one. Beg very shortly. You're listening to Matt
and Tyler Good Afternoon.

Speaker 1 (10:30):
The big stories, the big issues, the big trends, and
everything in between.

Speaker 4 (10:35):
Matt and Taylor Afternoons with the.

Speaker 1 (10:37):
Volvo XC ninety, attention to detail and a commitment to
comfort news talks.

Speaker 3 (10:42):
They'd be good afternoon. Seventeen past one. Do we live
in the most dangerous times ever? Is that how you feel?

Speaker 5 (10:49):
Well?

Speaker 2 (10:49):
Yeah? The Dum's day clock people are saying it is
the end? Really nigh? I feel like it's quite a
good time to be having kids and bring them up.
But am I just a naive idiot?

Speaker 5 (11:00):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (11:00):
Eight hundred eighty ten eighty is the number on four. Craig.
You reckon it's not such a great world at the moment.

Speaker 8 (11:08):
No, I don't make it. And I heard what Matt said,
and maybe it is great for Matt's children, and I'd
like to think it was to my grand children being
brought up at the moment. But you know, if the
world was so great now, why do we have record
your suicide? Why do we have record children without fathers?
You know, when I was growing up, you know, I

(11:30):
was born in late sixties, and that kind of thing
very rarely did you hear of a fellow pupil at
the school. Well, I didn't hear of one. It took
us life. But I'd say every school possibly.

Speaker 4 (11:44):
He is of it.

Speaker 8 (11:44):
Now Quite often I think the world, who's shite for
our children? And it's our fault. We've created this world,
but it's you. I think it's a very dangerous world
for them.

Speaker 2 (11:59):
I think it's always been a dangerous world, and I
think there's always been hardships and tragedy. But what era
do you think was good? Good? Well, it was the
best time to bring up kids.

Speaker 8 (12:12):
Look, well, you're going to go by now, and what
you know, and I know my childhood basically through the
seventeenth we were free. We could, you know, we're on
our bikes from one called out at night for dinner.
We were we weren't having to be pleased and monitored,
and we weren't taught the troubles of the world. If

(12:33):
you mentioned you were scared of nuclear war, and we
all had that, that's what was on the news.

Speaker 5 (12:38):
At six o'clock.

Speaker 8 (12:40):
But I don't recall it being thrown down the throat
at primary school and that kind of thing. Whereas children
today you have been taught all the problems of the world,
the world's doomed, and you've been taught it from down
their daycare. They don't have a lot of hope. Yeah,
take it hope away from our jud.

Speaker 2 (13:01):
You say that interesting thing about you know, depression and
young people now. And as I said before, one of
the things that I think is quite incredible that this
time is the amount of you know, the digital technology
at the kids' fingertips. And as I was saying that,
I was thinking under it that is actually one of
the one of the worst parts for kids because we know,

(13:22):
you know, all the studies around being on Instagram, being
on TikTok. What it does to kids in terms of
their mental health, it's it's absolutely terrible. And you know,
people used to have a really clear purpose in life,
and maybe that's something that's missing now, where it was
pretty simple what you had to do. You had to
have a job, and you brought up a family, and

(13:44):
you had sort of quite a simple path that you
went on, whereas now kids look at all the stuff,
they think that they need to be superstars, they need
to be famous, They feel like failures, no about what
do they do, and then they just drift back and
they're looking in Instagram seeing everyone else in a fake
private jet or whatever.

Speaker 8 (14:00):
I think the big thing as well is we were
allowed to be kids. Yeah, I don't think they are
actually allowed to be kids. And that's the cuts of
the problem. You know, we're all born the safe. I
don't deny mental health, but there's a shitload of it
now than when I was a child. You know, we

(14:22):
didn't see that. I just think that we've taken trolls
on away from our children, and that's half the problem.

Speaker 2 (14:29):
Do you think that maybe there was a certain amount
of mental health that was problems that were around that
they weren't just talked about that. People just sort of
brooded on them quietly to and whereas now people have
the words to talk about it.

Speaker 8 (14:44):
I do, But I think that also created a bit
of resilience as well. I mean, we don't seem to
have the the resilience we used to have, you know,
and there seems to be a syndrome or something for
everything now no matter what you feel, there will be
a medical.

Speaker 6 (15:02):
Term for it.

Speaker 3 (15:03):
Yeah, sorry, Crat.

Speaker 8 (15:05):
I mean, I'm not a psychologist, but I'm not as
but I just think that there's too much influence, possibly
on mental health. It's not to be hidden, but there's
what It's tough. It's meant to be tough. That's why
you're enjoyed a good time.

Speaker 3 (15:20):
And does that come does that come back to Craig?
Children being bombarded with with information that is at times
pretty complex. You know, children, by their nature, there's a
lovely naivety about that and an ideology that they can,
you know, come into this world and make these differences
and then as you get older, you get a little
bit wiser. But children aren't protected by that anymore. You know,

(15:42):
very young children are exposed to some very complex ideas
and what on the surface a very terrifying ideas.

Speaker 8 (15:50):
Yeah, I've got a little example on that in the
sense that my sisters told me your story. When she
had a four or five year old he was at
the time, it's done, went to her and asked where
where the babies come from? And Jesus responded to where
do you think they come from? And he gave some answer,
and just say that's fine. You didn't have to get

(16:11):
into it. You didn't have to dwell into it, you know.
I just think kids might ask questions. But for some reason,
whether it happens at school or at home. Now, I
think we're a bit too bloom and honest and we
just burdened them with all this stuff that they don't.

Speaker 9 (16:27):
Need to know.

Speaker 2 (16:28):
Yeah, I think there is something in that. I was
talking to a friend that I grew up with in
Dunedin and we were talking about the idea of anxiety
and we were between it. We didn't really say we
were anxious, but you knew that some days you didn't
that you were scared to go to school, or you
felt there was a social occasion you didn't want to
where there was some sport that was coming up that
you were a little bit worried about. But we kind

(16:50):
of just had to do it. But we didn't call
it anxiety, but that's clearly what it was.

Speaker 3 (16:56):
And I think now.

Speaker 8 (16:59):
You go, Craig, Yes, no, I absolutely agree with you.
And I felt that often growing up. But you weren't
label was a condition, it was just how you felt.
And because you weren't label would you manage to board
a bit of a resilience instead of having something to

(17:20):
blame how you feel so you could lot yourself away.

Speaker 2 (17:23):
I think this is just a personal story. But when
I first met a girl, a girl that I wanted
to go out on a date with, right, I had
to ring up her, you know, her parents, and she
she was a Catholic girl, and she had like eight
brothers and sisters, and there was one phone in their house.
So I had to go down and ring up Jenny

(17:45):
was her name, and ring up and say hey, I'm
giving a whole name here. Actually I was going to say, hey,
mister Smith, is Jennifer there, please? And that was the
most terrifying thing I had to do. But I felt
like it was so important because I really wanted to
go on a date. I really wanted to to go
to the movies with me, so I had to ring
her terrified anxiety. But doing that created some resilience and

(18:08):
you could feel some pride that you pulled it off,
and you can learn something as opposed to now with
the you know, with the situation people have now with
social media and with text messaging. Even you don't you
can sort of hide away from that. You can hide
in your room and you don't have to. But if
I'd done that, I never would have got to go
on this date. So I had to do this really,
really hard thing. And I wonder if that was helpful

(18:30):
for mental health in a way that I had to
do that. If I wanted to go on a date,
I just had to do the most terrifying thing.

Speaker 8 (18:37):
Absolutely, you learned lessons, you learned. The mister Smith didn't
like you.

Speaker 2 (18:43):
Well, I think I think a couple of her brothers
didn't seem to like me.

Speaker 3 (18:46):
Did you get a second date?

Speaker 5 (18:48):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (18:48):
Yeah, we dated from when we were fourteen to twenty
one or something. But going to dinner around at that
house with all those other kids, that many brothers, jeez,
that was terrifying.

Speaker 3 (19:00):
Greig, thank you very much for giving us a buzz mate.
All right, have a good afternoon. O eight hundred eighty
ten eighty is the number to call. Nineteen nine two
is the text number. Love to hear from you on this.
It is twenty five past one. Beggery shortly here on
News Talk ZEDB.

Speaker 1 (19:16):
Putting a tough question to the newsmakers, the mic asking breakfast.

Speaker 10 (19:19):
The fossil fuel industry is increasingly worried about the attitude
of banks towards their industry resources Ministers. Of course Shane Jones,
as well as the banking sector has already got problems
with your government around margins and the commerce commissions that
they really need a fight like this or.

Speaker 11 (19:31):
Who bought this garbage to the table.

Speaker 9 (19:33):
The banks themselves are writing letters threatening to dbank god
fearing regional businesses. They are not breaking any commercial financial
statutory law. What they are doing is offending the luxury
beliefs of these directors and executives, spouting about climate change
whilst driving regional New Zealand to penury.

Speaker 4 (19:53):
I've got every right to take them.

Speaker 2 (19:55):
Off back tomorrow at six.

Speaker 10 (19:56):
Am, the mic asking Breakfast with Baby's Real Estate News
Talk ZEDB.

Speaker 3 (20:01):
After Noon, Glenn, do you think the world is more
dangerous than it's ever been.

Speaker 12 (20:06):
No, I sunk a fu you know, back to our forefathers.
Different things may be worried us, but I think things
are much the same and always will be. And I
think it's Confucius. I'm not sure I might have the
wrong person, but I think it was Confucius who said
that you know, your children look to you as to
how you reacted to things. For instance, if their child

(20:29):
falls over and they skin their legs their knees, they'll
look to you. And if you start laughing, they're more
like letters sort of think, oh, well, that wasn't so bad.
But if you say, oh, darling, and they'll start to cry.
And I remember, I just think we've become a little
bit too protective. And believe me, I'm a big softy.
I'm not hard at all. But I just think it's

(20:52):
not preparing children for life the way we react to things. Now,
a while ago, there was an earthquake and it was
pretty near one of the local primary schools, and apparently
they sent two counselors to this primary school. It's sort
of country school, and for these primary school children who

(21:14):
were aged five to nine. Now, when I went to school.
I remember there was an earthquake. I know it's many
years ago, but there was an earthquake and we all
just thought this, you know, things moving around was quite fun.
I mean, we were taught what to do, but we
certainly weren't told lock down. And it's all right to
feel afraid. You know, this is normal. This is scary stuff.

Speaker 9 (21:38):
You know.

Speaker 12 (21:39):
Children are resilient. And another incident was at intermediate school
when I mean tragic, but one of the students who
biked home in his lunch I was hit by a
train and killed. And we had a meeting and assembly
at lunch time and we were told about this, and
yes it was tragic, but children of that age they

(22:02):
react differently unless they're told that it's a dreadful dreadfulness.
We just went out and can you playing in the playground.
I'm not undermining the fact the child died at all,
but I just think we, you know, let them be children,
and don't it all seems so dire. I just think, yeah,

(22:26):
I really do think children learn from I think this
counseling stuff has got out of hand. I truly do.
It's part of growing up and your brain are just
as you develop and maturity to deal with things in
an appropriate way. But children shouldn't have to be talking

(22:46):
to counselors. That's my opinion anyway.

Speaker 2 (22:49):
Yeah, it's interesting one with it. If you're if you're
a very if you're a parent that worries a lot
and is anxious about a lot of stuff, you are
likely to hand hand that over to your kids.

Speaker 12 (23:00):
You will, and children will pick it up.

Speaker 2 (23:02):
I don't remember my parents ever seem to worry about anything,
but I'm sure in other rooms they were worrying about me,
you know, but they never seemed to really hand there
onto me the worry that they had.

Speaker 3 (23:14):
But yeah, did you ever sit down and watch the
news with your parents?

Speaker 2 (23:17):
I used to always watch the news with my parents, and.

Speaker 3 (23:19):
There was no comments there about the state of the world.
I just, you know, I'm looking back now.

Speaker 2 (23:23):
I remember one where a jet was shot down. I
can't remember the exact news stories in the eighties, and
it was some kind of altercation between the Americans. And
I turned to my dad and I said, does that
mean there's going to be a nuclear war? And he goes,
I don't think so.

Speaker 3 (23:39):
That's reassuring.

Speaker 2 (23:40):
That was reasonably reassuring, But to be honest, I was
terrified of nuclear war right through my childhood because we
heard about it.

Speaker 12 (23:48):
Okay, when you see how much different age group was
together that I'm actually in my seventies and so my
dad was a prisoner of war from the Second World War.

Speaker 5 (23:58):
Wow.

Speaker 12 (23:59):
And I think because of my dad's resilience, he had
a pretty tough time. But I think he taught me
one of the things that Funny enough, my mother said
to me when I said, how did dad survive what
they had to go through? And he's still you know,
he's got a sense of humor and he's son to
be with, And she said, because he didn't project forward.

(24:21):
He didn't use the imagination to think, you know, all
this could have happened, or that could happen. He just
got through each day. And I think that's a very
good lesson. You know, you could drive yourself crazy thinking
about the world today and the possibilities.

Speaker 2 (24:37):
And they may not come true. You can worry about
it a whole lot of things that might may or
may not happen, and then you've wasted your time worrying
about something that may not happen. I've spent my whole
life worrying about nuclear war and it hasn't happened yet.
Might but I've wasted a lot of ours. I haven't
done anything to stop it.

Speaker 12 (24:51):
Actually, that was one of the best lessons I learned
from a Dale Carnegie course that I did in my
twenties called how to Stop Wearing and Start Living. And
they suggested that you're write down a list of ten
things that are currently worrying you, and then in ten
years or maybe five, take that list down and see
how many of them have come to fruish.

Speaker 4 (25:13):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (25:14):
Yeah, that's a brilliant Yeah, brilliant exercise.

Speaker 12 (25:16):
One of them may have done.

Speaker 2 (25:17):
Yeah, Gleen, I can mention with with parents that have
been through a war, they would lock at peacetime, and
you know that the perspective you, the perspective you would
have had you would have after being in war, would
be quite something compared to what people worry about now.

Speaker 12 (25:33):
Absolutely, thank you so much, very fortunate.

Speaker 3 (25:36):
Yeahk Oh, one hundred and eighty, ten eighty is the
number to call. We'll take some more fune calls very shortly.
Is the end. Nine headlines with railing coming up?

Speaker 13 (25:50):
You talk'd be headlines with blue bubble taxis. It's no
trouble with the Blue Bubble. Blood Service donor rules will
be changing next year, putting all donors under the same
regime and removing the three months stand down after six
for gay men. The Green say the Prime Minister US
clamped down on racist behavior from Cabinet ministers after comments

(26:12):
about immigrants by New Zealand firsts Winston Peters and Shane Jones.
Adanieda and Tine attacked with a hammer, is recovering from
emergency surgery after a road rage brawl. A teen's appeared
in the Youth Court charged with wounding with intent to
cause grievous bodily harm. A second has been bailed on
an assault charge. State Highway fifteen now Mangutarpare and all

(26:35):
Taika near Fargarde is reopening around two this afternoon following
an overnight police examination into the unexplained death of a motorcyclist.
Yesterday morning, a man's body was found in a creek
close to the highway. Police say his motorbike was found
on the side of the road. Deep Sekiai Deep seek

(26:55):
Ai answers controversial questions and then retracts its responses.

Speaker 2 (27:01):
You can see more at Insid Herald. Premium.

Speaker 13 (27:03):
Now back to matt Ethan Tyler Adams.

Speaker 3 (27:06):
Thank you very much, Ray Lean, and we ask a question,
do you think the world is more dangerous now than
it's ever been on the back of the doomsday clock?

Speaker 2 (27:14):
Yeah, I know we could question the doomsday clock the
bulletin of the Atomic Scientists measure saying that we've moved
to eighty seven eighty nine seconds to midnight. And look,
but we're not talking about them, because you know, they've
got their very political organization and they're making statements in
whatever way. But it just sort of raises the question,
is this a terrifying time to live? Are we as

(27:37):
the N nine or as I feel it's actually quite
a good time to be alive.

Speaker 3 (27:40):
Oh eight, one hundred and eighty ten eighty is the
number to call. Get a bob, Hi, guys.

Speaker 14 (27:47):
Yeah. My thoughts are that I'm almost eighty two years old,
and I've seen an awful lot of all this talk
and talk and talk and talk about what's going to happen.
Nobody knows what's going to happen. I spent most of

(28:07):
my life traveling around the world. I developed drilling tools
for the oil and gas drilling industry, and it was
up to me to market them and do live business.
And everybody's expecting everything to be wonderful. When the fun

(28:28):
comes up in the morning, that is the first day
of the rest of your life. Get up and enjoy
it and deal with the world as it comes to you.

Speaker 3 (28:41):
It's nicely said, Bob. Did you always feel that way?
You mentioned you're eighty two. I take it you know
you had to go through a good chunk of your life,
probably pretty anxious about the state of the world before
you came to that philosophy.

Speaker 14 (28:54):
Never felt anxious, so I was always full of ambition.

Speaker 2 (28:58):
Yeah, I mean there was a thing about that in
terms of just taking a moment, because you can lie
around worrying about everything, and people sometimes confuse worry with
actually doing something, because if you're worrying and you can
imagine every possible terrible scenario, but that isn't actually doing anything.
That's just spinning your mental wheels on a spot.

Speaker 14 (29:19):
Think about that you're not going to be able to
change it.

Speaker 2 (29:22):
Yeah, yeah, I mean, you definitely shouldn't worry about things
you can't change. If you're spending any time about something
that you aren't going to be able to influence. Then
then that is that is wasted time, isn't it. You know,
it's the serenity prayer, isn't it?

Speaker 3 (29:37):
What you can't do anything, Give me the courage to
accept the things I cannot change. Something along those lines.

Speaker 2 (29:48):
Yeah, God, grant me the serenity to accept the things
I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Speaker 3 (29:54):
Yeah, it's a good line. But like you know, the
war in Ukraine for example, and when that first started,
I got a little bit anxious about what's going to happen,
But then very i think hopefully very quickly realized there
is nothing I can do about that. There is absolutely
I'm not going to change the political landscape of the world.
So you've just got to get that out of your head.
That years it might not be a good situation. And

(30:15):
you feel for some of the people in Ukraine and
that situation, but you cannot do anything about it.

Speaker 14 (30:21):
Well, think about like the kids in in Gaza. You
think the kids are suffering, ye, or.

Speaker 2 (30:31):
You know, any time in the past, you know, like
people look back and say, you know, what was it?
You know, some dream time in the nineteen fifties depends
where you are, really and there were there were a
lot of problems there, a lot of things you had
to face back then. And of course people always bring
up five point thirty six, which is widely considered the
worst year in all human history, where in a slandic

(30:53):
volcano covered most of Europe and Asia and darkness for
a year and all the crops failed. And that was
after three hundred years since the Roman emperor had gone down.
Empire had gone down about two hundred year, so there's
anarchy right through that area as well. Then your crops fail,
and then on the back of that, because of the
disease caused by that, the black plague comes in.

Speaker 3 (31:11):
Well, they are some real problems. They are real problems.

Speaker 2 (31:13):
I'd rather have now than then, much rather be around
now than five point thirty six.

Speaker 3 (31:18):
We've got timu how good. One hundred and eighty ten
eighty is the number to call. It's eighteen to two
back very shortly, the.

Speaker 4 (31:25):
Issues that affect you, and a bit of fun along
the way.

Speaker 1 (31:28):
Matt and Taylor afternoons with the Volvo X eighty innovation,
style and design, have it all youth talks said.

Speaker 3 (31:35):
Be We've asked question, do you think the world is
more dangerous now than it's ever been? This is on
the back of the doomsday clock moving one second closer
to midnight, But it's more just in general, whether you
feel that today is more dangerous than ever And Matt,
you certainly are very happy to be alive in twenty
twenty five.

Speaker 2 (31:55):
Well, I don't worry for my kids starving to death.
And famine used to be a thing that would hit,
you know, at least major famine would hit at least
every twenty years across most of the history of humanity.
But now we have a bigger problem with obesity than
we do with starvation exactly.

Speaker 3 (32:11):
Peter, how are you this afternoon?

Speaker 6 (32:14):
Yeah, Look, I.

Speaker 15 (32:16):
Really, I really think we do need to be a
bit worried because I mean, it's like when the Japan
when they made Corollas and Toyotas and Rara motorcycles and
we thought they were all junk. We don't think that
today because they're erasing those motorcycles that we're all driving,
Toyotas and even those cars they are getting made in China. Now, China,

(32:41):
China is a very very major concern now because what's
coming out of Australia.

Speaker 6 (32:48):
Is coal, iron ore and it's all going to China.

Speaker 15 (32:53):
And China is just making production of everything because they
are just burning coal and making electricity to build what
they want. They have just put in the water.

Speaker 6 (33:05):
They have just put it in the water.

Speaker 15 (33:08):
The fourth aircraft carrier. They have developed a new fighter aircraft.
And when that fourth aircraft carrier came out of the drydock,
they started building their fifth one. Now Donald Trump knows
all this because in America, if you're a CEO and

(33:28):
you want to keep on hanging on to you hundreds
of thousands, and they don't do that in China, then.

Speaker 6 (33:33):
You take all your business.

Speaker 15 (33:36):
You take all your business to China because I'll make
what you need, and that CEO he'll keep hold of
his salary. I mean, mate, it's and that's why I say.
And even Donald Trump, he's worried about China. He's worried
about trying a big time because they have got the

(33:58):
biggest military in the world. They've got more aircraft and
strategic fighting, so then they can really be in the battle.
And the thing is that everybody wants to have a
look when you go and buy anything made in China,
made in China, a belt or anything, and it might say,

(34:22):
you know, this is what it is, but you'll find
that there's a little tag down the bottom, made in China.

Speaker 2 (34:30):
So, Peter, do you are you worried about China economically primarily?
And of course New Zealand incredibly dependent on China because
they're our biggest trading partner. But are you also worried
about China and New Zealand militarily?

Speaker 6 (34:48):
Well, look put it this way. Put it this way.

Speaker 15 (34:51):
China has got submarines, They have got heaps of military stuff.

Speaker 6 (34:58):
If they submerged in the middle of Auckland.

Speaker 15 (35:01):
And they sent down and they have already said they
want Thailand back, They've.

Speaker 6 (35:08):
Already said that.

Speaker 15 (35:10):
And I mean it's like Australia, like Albow has turned around.
He said, we'll give you guys over here in Indonesia,
will give you six hundred million dollars to set up
an NRL team over here. Well, that's political. It's got
nothing to do. It has got nothing at all to

(35:30):
do because Australian government's worried about it. They know we
have any New Zealand. If you think in New Zealand,
if you think in New Zealand. But China turns up
on the shore of New Zealand, you think that America
is going to come over and help you.

Speaker 3 (35:47):
No, they're not, Peter. You're calling from Queensland and you
think a part of your huge concern over China and
we've got to think about that and be part of
the discussion, no doubt about that. But the fact that
you are in Australia and the information you get from
your media and the government heightens your fear in terms
of what the real situation is because clearly Australia has

(36:10):
had its add its barneys, small barneys with China in
the last couple of years.

Speaker 6 (36:15):
We'll put it this way.

Speaker 15 (36:16):
You know, Australia's got nothing to put on the table,
but China has because it's like they've gone away and it's.

Speaker 6 (36:26):
Like, you know, have you ever heard of that old
saying that the horse has bolted? And I mean everybody
you know, I mean.

Speaker 15 (36:33):
They're the largest, they're the largest in the world now
of car manufacturers.

Speaker 2 (36:41):
Yeah, so you're saying that just before Peter. But do
you think so We've got this text here that's come
through Peter on nineteen nine two. Worry is a misuse
of the imagination. So on a philosophical level, so you're
quite worried about about China, is there anything that you
can personally do about that? Or is that outside your
remit Because there's an argument that if we if we

(37:02):
don't have so much time on this planet, so if
we can't change the outcome of something personally, then we're
kind of spinning our wheels and making our life less
enjoyable and less fruitful by worrying about things outside our control.

Speaker 15 (37:17):
If you know what I mean, Well, if you keep
on kicking the guts out of China, they're going to
get pissed off and they're not going to play around
because they have got like I said here there before,
if they turn up on the doorstep there of New Zealand,
what's New Zealand got the fight?

Speaker 2 (37:37):
But Peter is what can you do about it? Personally?
So I think there's two things. Is worry an action, right,
So if you can influence the outcome of what you're
worried about, then that's one thing. But if you can't,
if you spending your time worrying about something that you
have no influence over it, all, that can make for

(37:57):
a pretty a pretty uncomfortable. Well, the Buddhist will say,
a life of suffering.

Speaker 6 (38:05):
We'll put it this way, right, put it this way.

Speaker 15 (38:07):
China is bringing out right a bike that is a
six seven five triple. Now it's a copy of the Triumph, right. Okay,
Everything that China has bought out so far has been brilliant.
I do that motorcycles, I get rings, I get pistons,
I get bearings, I get everything out of China, and

(38:31):
it is we're buggarall compared to if I go down
the road to Karlasaki or Yamaha, and everything that they've
seen me fits and it's brilliant. There's nothing wrong with it.
And a lot of those places are like Karlosaki, Yamaha,
and all of them are all getting China to make
their stuff now because.

Speaker 2 (38:51):
We're we're thank you, Peter. I think I think we
get that. I think we get that point there that yeah,
China is a very I mean, thank you so much
for your call. We've got to move forward, But yeah,
we get it. With China's obviously the manufacturing is going
at a great rate. But I guess I was trying
to make this more philosophical point that unless You're going
to do something about it because.

Speaker 3 (39:12):
Peter's very worried about China. We can hear that Peter
absolutely worried about China. But I think to your point Matters,
can Peter change that maybe maybe not, probably to the
maybe not. And if that's the case, Peter, it's going
to be all right, mate, you know, just live your life.
You're suffering a bit there, mate.

Speaker 2 (39:26):
Yeah, I mean we're going a bit philosophical here.

Speaker 3 (39:30):
News Talks b OH eight hundred eighty ten eighty is
the number to call Begary shortly. It is seven to two.

Speaker 1 (39:38):
Matt Heath Taylor Adams taking your calls on eight hundred
and eighty ten eighty Matten Taylor Afternoon with the Volvo
XC ninety to every box, a seamless experience awaits.

Speaker 4 (39:49):
News Talks NB.

Speaker 3 (39:52):
Five to two. Great discussion because text here on nine
two nine two dumb argument.

Speaker 2 (39:55):
The Glipoli troops couldn't influence world affairs, but they live
the nightmare. I think that you're misunderstanding what I'm saying here.
What I'm trying to say here is that worry about
what you can actually influence. So the Glipoli troops, even
though I'm may not have helped them. Could worry about
their gear, they could worry about their training, They could
think about what was ahead of them, rather than probably
sitting worrying about the wider global or any of the

(40:18):
other things they quorry about. Wouldn't have helped so much. Yeah,
all I'm saying is you can waste your whole life
worrying about a whole lot of stuff. And as Glenn
said to us when she rang up, she's like, you
don't even know if that stuff's going to come true. Yeah,
so if you can influence it, maybe you can worry
about it, but probably don't even worry about it. Do
something about it.

Speaker 3 (40:36):
Yeah, it's a message, good message. Thank you very much
for all your texts and phone calls. Right after two
o'clock we're going to be talking about sibling rivalry. When
have you got into an argument with your sibling to
the point where you no longer speak to each other?
Have you fallen out with your brother or sister? Love
to hear from you on O eight hundred and eighty

(40:56):
ten eighty. That text number, if you prefer, is nine
to nine two New Sport and where they're coming up.
Great to have your company as always you're listening to
matt and Tyler. Good afternoon to you.

Speaker 1 (41:09):
Your new home for insightful and entertaining talk. It's Mattie
and Taylor Adams Afternoons with the Volvo x eighty on
News Talk seb.

Speaker 3 (41:26):
Sex Fast Too, Welcome back into the show. I'm great
to have your company.

Speaker 2 (41:30):
As always, I felt like I did quite get my
philosophical angle across, judging by the texts that have been
coming through in the rate from the last hour when
I was talking about worry. Yeah, And what I was
trying to say is that worrying is just a spinning
of the mental wheels. It's not doing anything.

Speaker 4 (41:44):
Much.

Speaker 2 (41:45):
Planning is this human superpower that built civilization and these
amazing cities and amazing things that all human beings have done.
So on a very basic level, you can sit in
your house and worry that the water is going to
start coming through the walls and the paint's peeling off,
or you can make a plan to paint it and
go and paint it. And unless you're going to actually

(42:06):
make a plan and going painted, you're not doing anything.
You're just spinning your mental wheels. And so you've got
people that are worrying about what's going to happen with China?
Are you doing anything about it? Are you?

Speaker 5 (42:17):
Or are you?

Speaker 2 (42:18):
As Peter was still buying stuff for his parts whilst
worrying about China, there's a text here from someone I've
made the ethical decision to stop buying from countries that
aren't democracies. So on a very small level, they're doing something.
It might not make a huge difference, but they are.
Actually they've had to worry and they've taken an action.
And if you just have the worry and don't take
any action, then you're not actually doing anything. You're just

(42:39):
living in your imagination. You're just rolling things around in
your head.

Speaker 3 (42:43):
And as much as Peter was a good fellow, you've
got to say that text is probably got less suffering
in their lives than Peter, because I've taken a little
bit of action.

Speaker 2 (42:52):
Yeah, and on a less global scale. I always think
of the quote from Seneca, the famous philosopher and Roman statesman,
a Roman states and he said the only safe harbor
in life's tossing troubled seas to refuse to be bothered
about the future, what the future will bring, and to
stand ready and confident squaring the breast to take without
skulking or flinching whatever future hurls at us. And what's

(43:16):
that saying is, if you've got the power to live
right now, and you're you're dealing with what's now, then
you'll probably be able to deal with what comes your way.
And the very least you can just.

Speaker 3 (43:25):
Stand unflinching, squaring the.

Speaker 2 (43:28):
Chest towards the future, saying bring it on.

Speaker 3 (43:31):
And he would know. Wasn't it Narro that told Seneca, Hey,
I just want you to injure life, and Senega's that, Yeah,
I can't change it.

Speaker 2 (43:37):
Yeah, narrow, narrow, Yeah, it's not going to He was
a bad guy. Narrow. Seneca did have to take his
life at the hands of Nero, but you know, he
didn't spend his life worrying about it, and he didn't
get angry because he couldn't change it.

Speaker 3 (43:48):
Great man, Yeah, fantastic place to leave it.

Speaker 15 (43:51):
Right.

Speaker 3 (43:51):
Let's have a chat about sibling rivalry even a little
bit further than that. A great story in the Herald
When to call time on a toxic sibling relationship, and
it detailed a couple of personal stories about siblings who
had got into an argument or something significant, fairly significant,
and happened, and they'd stopped talking with each other, which

(44:13):
is to me a heck of a thing to do
to a sibling. I am trying to think of what
may need to happen between me and my brother to
stop talking for a big length of time.

Speaker 2 (44:25):
So you've got an elder and a younger brother.

Speaker 16 (44:27):
Yep.

Speaker 3 (44:27):
So Dylan's the oldest and Luke's the youngest by some Marginie,
she the difference between me and Dylan is about three years.
Luke is seven years younger than me, and me and
Dylan actually, now that I said that that, I can't
think of what the bar would be me and Dylan.
It was about five years ago during Mum's wedding to
her new polder, younger, older, older, yet older, And I

(44:49):
guess that is that sibling rivalry that me and Dylan
grew up and I was always the youngest, so him
being the oldest, always thought he knew knew better. But
I can't even remember what happened. But we had some
form of argument after Mum's wedding, which was freaking lame
in the first place. It's Mum's weekend. You know, she's
getting married to her new love. We got into an
argument and then we stopped speaking to each other for

(45:09):
about three months.

Speaker 2 (45:10):
Juvenile.

Speaker 3 (45:11):
It was juvenile, and there we both got to the
point is I think we both kind of message each
other at the same time and saying, why are we
doing this? This is stupid. We can't even remember what
the argument was about. Yes, let's grow up a little
bit and put it to side. We're brothers for goodness sake.

Speaker 2 (45:24):
Yeah, I mean outside violence or you know, horrific crimes.
I think you've got to it's got to be pretty
freaking major to not stick with your siblings.

Speaker 6 (45:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (45:38):
I think that family is so important, and there comes
a time in your life when when family can sometimes
be all you've got. So if you've burnt your family
a family member out on some small thing and you
might need them in the future and they might need you.
I mean this situation here that that's coming off. When
when it's time to call on a toxic sibling relationship.
Whenever I heard the word toxic about anything on my alarm,

(46:00):
bells go off.

Speaker 3 (46:03):
Excuse me choking on my coffee? There, it is a
mess of buzzword, isn't it toxic? Overused beverages.

Speaker 2 (46:09):
I did the sisily thing and let her move in
with us for a while after her marriage imploded, but
later found out she was bad mouthing me and my
husband to mutual friends. Standing up to her just resulted
and roused when I unfriended her on Facebook after one
too many sneery responses to my post. She often tried
to turn my adult children against me, I realized just
just couldn't trust her. Enough was enough. I cut off

(46:32):
full contact. So im, I don't know about that.

Speaker 3 (46:35):
It's a heck of a thing.

Speaker 2 (46:36):
But I've got three lovely sisters. Yeah, I can't even
see them really causing me too many problems?

Speaker 3 (46:43):
Isn't it with siblings though? Is there's few people I
think that genuinely love confrontation, right is. Maybe there are
some people out there that love it, but I think
most people don't really like to be screaming and yelling
at somebody else. But when it comes to siblings, I
think surely there's more of a chance to be more
honest with your sibling. Right So, in that scenario, which

(47:04):
is a terrible way to behave to your brother or sister,
would it not be easier in that stance if you're
that person on the receiving end to say, what are
you doing? Pull your frickin head and we're going to
have a barnie about this and get to that and
sort it out once and for all, rather than just
cutting off contact and saying I'm done with you for good.

Speaker 6 (47:20):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (47:21):
I think there is a part of sibling hood where
you're like kittens and dogs and little tigers fighting each
other to get your strength up for society. And I
think they have done some studies just to find that. So,
you know, a lot of that niggle you have when
your kids is all about getting yourself ready for social
and the politics of actually being an adult. So I

(47:41):
think you know, when you're in the back seat and
you know, punching your sister in the arm so she
screams and tells you off to your mum, I think
that's kind of natural. But as you go into adulthood,
I think you've got it. You've got to do everything
you can to keep the family together. But you know,
I haven't experienced None of my sisters have ever done
any I don't think any of my sisters. I've got
three wonderful sisters, Catherine and Luis and Imogen, I don't

(48:03):
think either of them have done anything bad to me,
or maybe or they might say that you're so zoned
out that you don't even notice. They might have been
trying to slight me the whole time. I wudn't say it.

Speaker 3 (48:13):
I'm going to keep these people anonymous, but family members,
and I'm not going to say how close they are
to me. But two family members that haven't spoken to
each other in sometime, and I've got to say, I
look at that and think, why, why, why why? And
maybe it's sometime they will start to talk to each
other again. But yeah, no, to me, I just can't see,
particularly because I know what the argument was about. I

(48:36):
can't understand why they can't just get over themselves and
have a chat. But I know, judging by the text
machine that it is fairly common.

Speaker 2 (48:43):
Yeah, one hundred and eighty ten eighty. So if you
want to tell a story about the problems that you've
had with your siblings when it was one step too far,
or how you finally got over that problem with your
sibling and patched it back together, one hundred and eighty
ten eighty or nine two nine two is the text number.

Speaker 3 (49:01):
It is fourteen past two back very shortly.

Speaker 1 (49:04):
Wow, your new home of afternoon talk in Taylor Afternoons
with the Volvo XC ninety turn every journey into something special.

Speaker 4 (49:13):
Call Oh, eight hundred eighty eight news Talk said, be.

Speaker 3 (49:18):
Good afternoon. We've asked a question, when is it time
to call an end to a toxic sibling relationship? On
the bank of an article in the heralds some great
texts coming through on nine two ninety two.

Speaker 2 (49:30):
Na, I think you're off on this one, Matt. Family
or not, no one has the right to make your
life harder. It probably doesn't always have to result in
cutting off of your contact. But you owe a family
member your sanity. Yeah, I mean, do you owe your
family more than you owe a friend, because I kind
of think you do. I'd agree, I think you owe
I feel like within reason and look this, I don't

(49:52):
really want to go into the realm of the terrible
things that can happen in families, because we know that
absolute horrors can happen in families, So I'm not really
talking about that type of stuff. But I think you do.
Generally speaking, Oh, your mother and father a debt because
they've brought you into the world and they've made sech
f sister bring you up for us. You would just
be on the street, you know they have. They must
have shown you some kind of love to get where

(50:13):
you are. Yeah, but I think you do owe more
to your family than you're than just your friends. Yeah,
that's what I believe. But but I might be naive
as I say.

Speaker 3 (50:22):
Well, I've always said I don't think i'd ever give
up on a family member. But I also granted that
I haven't been in a situation where something, you know,
kind of major it's happened where I've had to make
that choice.

Speaker 2 (50:33):
My mother and brother went to their grave without talking
to each other over sixty years, and my two sisters
haven't spoken to each other for thirty years. Wow. So
that Eleanor from Huntley, that that family is feuding hard.

Speaker 3 (50:47):
Yeah, I keep those seats coming through on nine two
nine two, Johnny, you reckon, You've got a doozy of
a sibling story.

Speaker 5 (50:55):
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 17 (50:56):
Basically, my family broke up when I was three in
the mid seventies. And the difference between my brothers is
they were born in the early sixties and I was
born in the early seventies, and they didn't come back
into my life until my mother got to dementia and

(51:17):
it was to get money and.

Speaker 5 (51:18):
Take over a house. And then my father died and.

Speaker 17 (51:26):
It even became an issue to get him cremated, and
the behavior of my siblings has even gone to the
point of trying to have my children removed, and all
of this to gain lots of money. The behavior, of course,

(51:49):
resulted in and even bigger separations. So I thought that
we were coming back together to help mum and to
get her house sold and do it up and all
that sort of stuff, but it just became a money
grab and they're living off the respect of that. The

(52:10):
relationship that I was waiting for all those years that
I thought, you know, that would happen, never.

Speaker 5 (52:16):
Came, and they've made it clear that they don't want
anything to do with me or my kids.

Speaker 17 (52:25):
And I had to realize that, you know, I'd been
monts to a father and wanting brothers and knowing that
I had of family all my life, and it had
affected me.

Speaker 5 (52:34):
And as a human being. So for me, my siblings
have really.

Speaker 17 (52:44):
Prodressed anything good other than the dream, and that's disappointment
and my own unique experience. I have met other people
or the similar story.

Speaker 5 (53:00):
I think.

Speaker 17 (53:03):
The only good I can take from that relationship is
that I know want not to install in white children.
And luckily for me, my in law was.

Speaker 5 (53:14):
Really really good with a large funder with lod of
love in it. So that's how to restore that.

Speaker 2 (53:21):
Sorry to hear about the situation with your siblings, and
and that's that's great to hear about that that situation.
But were you and so did you stay in your
mother's life right up to the sort of dementia problem,
whereas the other two brothers hadn't been around.

Speaker 5 (53:36):
The other three brothers hadn't been around, so yeah at all?

Speaker 2 (53:42):
And they did they acknowledge? Did they acknowledge that in
the the negotiations around the house. They just heard that
it was happening, and then came up and thought that
they were owed a certain and owed something for the time.

Speaker 17 (53:56):
And one, yeah, one became a wealthare guardian and then
paid the other himself a lot of money, and the
other two and got all nasty and you know, made
up of his lives and things. So all that kind
of draft resulted from greed and irrespective of blood. And
I come from Scottish and Irish heresies, and I thought,
you know, we were pretty tight, but it's in terms

(54:20):
of like our family history and you know, but it's interesting.
I'm tired with my cousins that I am with my
own brother and I don't really know my brothers, but
I've known my cousins because I made a point to
go and find my family when I was young, and
now I've got time to actually get to know them.
So yeah, cousins can be really really good people when

(54:46):
you don't have brothers.

Speaker 2 (54:48):
Johnny, do you think so what I said before? Do
you think that you tried hard harder with or you
thought you should try harder with your brothers because they
were your brothers, then you would say, for example, they
were just friends.

Speaker 17 (55:05):
Absolutely, like the extra mile and and that's kind of
my car and my my system of belief, So you know,
that's where it's at.

Speaker 3 (55:16):
Do you still talk to them, Johnny, even if your
relationship has been broken?

Speaker 17 (55:21):
Now I'm blocked and we're in court and the Supreme Court,
so I can't say too much.

Speaker 5 (55:25):
You know, there's a lot going on.

Speaker 3 (55:27):
Have you have you forgiven? Have you forgiven them?

Speaker 6 (55:30):
Absolutely?

Speaker 17 (55:31):
There are any human and people will do wicked things
and behave irrationally, especially if they've not worked hard to
the point where they know how to actually deal with
money and slight winning a lot of some people when
a person died, and that's where you see some distinct behavior.

Speaker 5 (55:48):
So just soldier on.

Speaker 2 (55:49):
And it's really tragic. It's a really tragic part of
the passing in a family that that a time that
could you could come together around, you know, the passing
of a parent, and then that becomes a point of
contention around around the money. That's that's really tragic, and
that's obviously caused so many problems over you know, probably

(56:13):
the entire history of us having an economic system where
money money went to you know, was divided up. So yeah,
I'm sorry to hear about that. That, Johnny.

Speaker 17 (56:22):
Oh, that's all good, like common a positive frame of mind,
and we have a lot to look forward to in
our future. And you know, the doors always sort of
open the jar because I'm not the one shutting it.
So and I have got faith in the public trust
system as well, so the people in my situation. You know,
there's the public trust when people can't sort out their
disputes and administering probate and stuff. But even with getting

(56:44):
people cremated. My dad was just cremated this morning after
being in a funeral home for more than two months
while people have arguments. So it's incredible the links people
will go to to be rotten, but it's also mating
the goodness of the people at the funeral home and
in the public trust to assist us in this situation.

Speaker 3 (57:06):
Johnny, thank you very much for giving us a buzz
and and it sounds like you've been through the ringer,
but your philosophy, I mean, we take our hat off
to you mate.

Speaker 5 (57:16):
This story relevant to me.

Speaker 3 (57:18):
Yeah, ye, thanks Johnny hearing. I think you know Johnny's
point there that the door's always open, and I think
when I you never give up on family, there's never
given up on family. Clearly, if the door's always open,
doors brothers, if they want to come and have a
chat and see if they can get through that, then
that possibility still remains in Johnny's mind. And I think
that's where I'd always be, that there's always if we

(57:39):
have a falling out, there'd always be a possibility. I'd
never give up on a family member.

Speaker 2 (57:42):
It's a funny situation though, what Johnny is saying there
as you always imagine. You see other families and you think, oh,
everyone's got this amazing. I've got this problem with my brothers,
but look at all these families with this incredible relationship
with their brothers. We're always looking around other families and
comparing and as ours the perfect family?

Speaker 5 (57:57):
Is this right?

Speaker 2 (57:58):
If I've got the right relationship with my parents and
my siblings, and really, I mean, you know, comparison to
Thief of.

Speaker 3 (58:05):
Joy, Yeah, life is missy. Oh eight hundred ac ten
as he loved to hear from you. If you've had
a falling out with your sibling, what happened? Did you
manage to make up? Oh eight hundred eighty ten eighty
is the number to call. It's twenty six past two
back very shortly here on News TALKSB.

Speaker 1 (58:23):
Matt Heathen, Tyler Adams afternoons call oh eight hundred eighty
ten eighty.

Speaker 4 (58:27):
On News Talk z EDB.

Speaker 3 (58:32):
News Talk zed B, we've asked the question when to
call time on a toxic sibling relationship on the back
of a story in the New Zealand Herald about various
siblings who got into an argument for various reasons with
their brother or sister and voided all contact.

Speaker 2 (58:49):
Yes, so someone here said, whoever chooses your topics as
a very depressed and tortured soul, that would be me.
That would be my apologies. But this one from Jody
here TeX's come through. I haven't spoken to my old
man in twenty five years. Very nasty old fella better
off without him. When my partner I lost our child,
he said it wasn't it was probably for the best.

(59:10):
Always always doing nasty stuff. I mean, yeah, there's no
doubt that people and families are capable of it. I mean,
there's nasty people in the world, and those nasty people
are from families. So it is a bit naive to
say that you should always stick with your family, obviously,
because there are some people where it's just you can't.
But I guess I'm saying that you should tend towards

(59:32):
sticking with your family because you know, after the break,
I'll share a I'll share the results from this longest
you know, or the longest study that's ever done on
human happiness and how important family was to that.

Speaker 3 (59:45):
Yeah, but that's an interesting text, and I know I
can't comprehend what that would be like if my old
man said that to me or mayven if we're in
that situation. But I think if Dad was to say that,
would I I'd be incredibly incredibly hurt. I don't know
if I'd cut him off. I would forgive him, but
he wouldn't be as much a part of our lives

(01:00:07):
as he would have been. A few was a good person.

Speaker 2 (01:00:09):
But I've seen a good things of things that seen
the things in family where people someone says something not
quite right, they don't quite get the words right, and
then that is taken a certain way because these are heightened,
dramatic parts of life when when tragic things happen, and
some you can just get the words slightly wrong, and
then it goes down in history that you said that,
and there's no coming back, there's no convincing them that

(01:00:29):
you didn't say it. I'm not saying that's the case
in that situation, but sometimes feuds are misunderstanding, so you
can't understand that.

Speaker 3 (01:00:36):
Yeah, text number is nine two and nine two. We're
late for the headlines, but we're going to get to
some more of your cause as well. Oh eight hundred
and eighty ten eighty. It is being on two thirty
listening to Matt and Tyler. Very good afternoon to you
headlines with Raylene coming.

Speaker 13 (01:00:51):
Up you talk said the headlines with blue bubble taxis,
it's no trouble with a blue bubble fine. DA Police
say they treating a motorcyclist death yesterday as a homicide
and are asking for sightings, so if there's blue and
silver road bike late choose day or early Wednesday. His
body was discovered in a creek by State Highway fifteen.

(01:01:13):
His bike was found on the road between Mangwatarpari and Ortaiker.
A rule change from next year will allow gay men
to donate blood, bringing them under the same rules and
questions as all donors. A teen attacked where a hammer
is recovering from surgery after a road rage brawl in
Dunedin yesterday. A person's appeared in a youth court and

(01:01:35):
other teens being bailed. The government's putting almost thirty million
dollars into buying an MRI scanner and linear accelerator for
Hawk's Bay Hospital, which will double CT scan capacity and
improve radiology and cancer treatment. Auckland Deputy Mayor Desley Simpson
says a new website labeled Desley for Mayor dot CO

(01:01:57):
dot Nz was set up by her son as a
bit of a laugh over Christmas. She hasn't decided whether
to run for the city's top job. Ripples of backfilm
Who's Moving Auckland CBD Officers.

Speaker 2 (01:02:10):
You can find out more at inzid Herald Premium.

Speaker 13 (01:02:13):
Back to matt Ethan Tyler Adams.

Speaker 3 (01:02:14):
Thank you very much, ray Lean.

Speaker 2 (01:02:16):
We're talking about when it's time to call time on
toxic sibling relationships and Jerry, you've got a story to
share with us.

Speaker 18 (01:02:26):
Oh yeah, it's just a quickie.

Speaker 16 (01:02:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 18 (01:02:29):
Years ago, it would have been My brother was going
through a bit of a stage where he's been a
bit of a dick and we were talking on the
phone one day and yeah, I just had enough and
I hung up on him. Three months later, he rings
out of the blue and we just carried on as
if nothing had happened. And it's been the same ever since.

Speaker 2 (01:02:51):
So how long was the gap? Sorry?

Speaker 18 (01:02:54):
Three months?

Speaker 2 (01:02:54):
Three months? Yeah, I mean that's that's a good that's
a good calling off period, it is. Yeah, and you
were you still chewing over the issue or it's just
a disappeared.

Speaker 18 (01:03:06):
Well, I just wasn't going to be bothered with him. Yeah,
Bluck said he was being a bit of a dick,
so I couldn't be bothered. But when he rang me
three months later, and yeah, we just carried on as
if nothing happened, and it turned out he wasn't being
a dick anymore, so it was fun.

Speaker 3 (01:03:26):
Yeah that's nice. I mean it can be, Jerry, isn't
it when it's something's happened and you've avoided contact for
in this case, three months. But sometimes when you go
back to try and mend that relationship, it can spark
things up again. When you go with all you know
forgiveness and say, hey, look, brother, you were wrong in
that scenario. You know you were, and boobal was sudden

(01:03:47):
it flears up again. I wasn't in the wrong, you
were in the wrong. I'm glad that didn't happen in
your case.

Speaker 18 (01:03:53):
No, no, it would have eventually ended. There's just me
and him, so it would have eventually ended. But I
just couldn't be bothered with him. So yeah, but I
but I didn't robust him when you know he made contact,
So yeah, I.

Speaker 2 (01:04:07):
Will think so much if you call Jerry, appreciate that.
And I'm glad that you and your brother are getting along.
Apologizing is quite a good thing, isn't it. If you
can I apologize to my younger brother, says this Texter.
I apologize to my younger brother for being a jealous
little sister, and the other day I'm twenty eight. There
is strength of us never cut in contact.

Speaker 3 (01:04:27):
Yeah, there is something can apologizing, Absolutely big power in it.
If you can see that even if you still thought
you're on the right side of the argument, that the
way that you approached it was a bit of a
dick move, or you're a bit more aggressive, or you
said something that you didn't really mean. I mean, there
is a lot of power in saying, hey, I'm really

(01:04:47):
sorry I was a dick.

Speaker 2 (01:04:49):
Well, there's yeah, absolutely, and there's definitely as I say,
and a lot of these texts coming through, which isn't
quite the focus of what we're talking about here, but
where people have done and families have done truly evil things,
because evil things are done by people that are in families.
So there is obviously lines that cannot be crossed where
you don't want to have anything to do with someone, right, certainly,
but you've got to ask yourself when you're holding a grudge,

(01:05:11):
you gotta go, is this worth it? Is it really
worth it? Because you can hold a grudge on just
a tiny little thing and it just burns and burns
and burns. He goes, is the original sin worth the
years and years of this grudge? Or is that just
being born upon itself over and over over again?

Speaker 5 (01:05:27):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:05:27):
And also you've got to put yourself just try steal,
meaning the brother or sister's opinion right, what they might
have seen from it, right, because maybe you are the dick.
You've always got to ask the question, am I actually
being the dick in this situation? Because someone's probably being
the dick could love you and and.

Speaker 3 (01:05:45):
It can be both. Yeah, oh one hundred eighty ten eighty.
If you've had a falling out with a family member
or sibling, love to hear from you what happened and
did you manage to make up?

Speaker 2 (01:05:54):
Growing up, my dad used to have this spiel about
how you'll always have your brother, etc. You've got to
be friends, says this textra a nineteen nine two screw that.
We had an argument because my brother assumed he would
be the best man at my wedding. This is a
man I have nothing in common with, or barely talk
to when he was told he wasn't he decided not
to come. Friends are so much more important than family.

(01:06:15):
You get to choose your friends. Yeah, okay, but I
mean so that's really not worth an argument, is it.
Growing up, my dad said we had to be friends.
By bah. We had an argument because my brother assumed
he would be best man at the wedding. This is
a man I have nothing in common with. Well, you
do have a common with that. You he's your brother
and he wanted to be best man at your wedding.
You could, you could, You could look at it that
way and go, isn't it nice that my brother wanted

(01:06:36):
to be best man at my wedding? Because you don't
want to be best man at a wedding because because
you hate the person. Yeah, you want to be best
man at the wedding as a gesture you do not
owed it. Yeah, but I don't know.

Speaker 3 (01:06:47):
It's a funny thing about grudges. And as you mentioned before,
you know, grudges, is that causing you more suffering by
holding that grudge versus the person that you're really angry with,
even if you were in in the right. Oh, eight
hundred and eighty ten eighty is the number to talk
to ring rather, I think we got Julian on the line. Actually,
we're gonna have a quick break and we'll come back

(01:07:08):
to Julian very shortly. It is twenty one to three.

Speaker 1 (01:07:13):
Mattie Tayler Adams with you as your afternoon rolls on
matt and Taylor Afternoon with the Volvo XC ninety attention
to detail and a commitment to comfort news talks.

Speaker 3 (01:07:23):
They'd be good afternoon eighteen to three.

Speaker 2 (01:07:26):
Boy, I'm just reading so many texts coming through on
nine two nine two of these and depth stories about
people's life. It's quite falling. Actually, I'm getting a little
bit emotional, Tyler.

Speaker 3 (01:07:36):
There are some yeah, pretty powerful stories coming through. Keep
them coming though. On nine two ninety two. Let's go
to the phone, though, Julian, good afternoon to you.

Speaker 17 (01:07:44):
Good, let's say again, very good.

Speaker 3 (01:07:46):
So you had a bit of a breakdown in a
sibling relationship, you could say that.

Speaker 19 (01:07:51):
Look, I'm a twin I was in business with my
twin brother about thirty years ago. One day I just
decided I didn't want to work with him anymore, and
we sold the company. And he hasn't talked to me since.

Speaker 2 (01:08:06):
How long ago. Was that Julian years ago? Oh wow, right,
so have you have you have you reached out to him?

Speaker 19 (01:08:15):
I did for the first couple of years, and it
was totally ignored. And then I had a bit of
a patient epiphany one day that I realized that it
wasn't me that had a problem, it was him. If
he didn't want to resolve it, it's fine, and he
gave me, I would say a certain amount of closure.

Speaker 8 (01:08:35):
I Look, I.

Speaker 19 (01:08:37):
I always thought one day that we'll get back to
it together. Even when my mother passed away last year,
that never happened. But all I can say is, people, look,
sometimes you do have to reach a point where you
you've done enough to try to repair that. It's not
going to do you any good try trying to carry
on to repair it. You just have to let go.

(01:08:58):
So that would be my only bit of advice.

Speaker 2 (01:09:01):
Can you see anything in his opinion? Was he just
the business was important to him and he felt like
you took something away from him by breaking up the business.
Do you think that's what his problem is?

Speaker 19 (01:09:14):
Look, I can honestly say I have no idea because
we never you know, once we decided to sell a company,
netwook most probably sort of a couple of months to
get all the finances sorted out, and even to the
point when we went to see the accountant to sign
the papers. I'm sure he thought that I was going
to change my mind, but I never did, and I

(01:09:37):
carried on. I ran what I think was a pretty
successful business in the same line. But yeah, you know,
he had issues, and I'm sure they went back. I mean,
I learned afterwards they went back to our high school
school days. I blame my parents to a certain extent
because they let all this go on with They always

(01:10:00):
wanted to sit on the fence with the two of
us and not agree or disagree with anybody. And I
guess that the only that made me when I, you know,
with it with my kids. I always listened to their
opinions and gave them my opinion of who.

Speaker 5 (01:10:16):
Was right and who was wrong.

Speaker 19 (01:10:19):
And I felt better for that of my experiences. But yeah, look,
you know, it was it's very it was very sad.
And as I say, you know, once I had realized
that you know, he had the problem, not me, it
made it made things a lot easier for me.

Speaker 3 (01:10:36):
Well, thank you for being really candid with us, Julian,
did do you have other siblings or is it just
you on your twin?

Speaker 19 (01:10:42):
No, just me and my twin. And I think, look,
you know, people think I always think twins are very close,
and I'm sure some are. We were very very close
up until high school. And then you know, I think
when in different directions.

Speaker 3 (01:10:56):
Yeah, well, I suppose the reason I asked that, Julian,
and you mentioned your parents before that that said on
the fence as you as you said, there was no
other mediator within the family to try and help meant
what had happened?

Speaker 19 (01:11:11):
No, No, And look, you know, the issue was between
me and him. I guess you know, you know, there
was obviously with kids, there's a lot of a lot
of history there, and we were the only two people
that knew that sort of history. So it was really
up to me and me and him to sort out.

Speaker 2 (01:11:29):
Yeah, what kind of twins are you?

Speaker 16 (01:11:31):
Are?

Speaker 13 (01:11:31):
You?

Speaker 2 (01:11:31):
Are you identical ones?

Speaker 19 (01:11:32):
This is just I'm just I was I was two
hours I was two hours younger.

Speaker 2 (01:11:36):
Right, and you're identical yep?

Speaker 5 (01:11:39):
Wow in every way?

Speaker 2 (01:11:40):
Wow, identical tes wow. And and the end that has
I mean, I mean, like just you don't have to
tell us anything you don't want to tell. But was
he less successful after you split up in the business.

Speaker 5 (01:11:53):
I have no idea. I didn't.

Speaker 19 (01:11:55):
I didn't worry about that, to be honest. I mean,
I guess with my my fault I was, you know,
although we were identicals and I was I was slightly younger,
I always felt that I empowered him to do the
things that he did. So it was, you know, it
was partly my fauledoman those those bitter feelings about parting

(01:12:16):
had been building up for some time. It wasn't just
something I woke up one day and decided. I was
very lucky that I had the support of my wife
because it was a huge decision to leave a very
well established family business to go out on your own.
But I always had her support and the you know,
the the family support and Julia that served me helped Julian.

Speaker 2 (01:12:40):
If your identical twin brother reached out to you, now,
would you would you welcome them with them with an
open heart? Or has it been too long?

Speaker 19 (01:12:49):
Look at this, There's so much happened in that time. Look,
I honestly, I don't know. I say no, but I yeah,
I don't know. I mean, it's it's never going to happen.
After thirty years, he's not going to turn around and
want to discuss anything. But yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:13:08):
I might, I might let you know what I might
let you know if it does happen, Julian, I'd I'd
love to know, because I don't know all the details
about it, and we've only heard what you've said today.
But I strongly want you guys to get back together,
that definitely be friends again. I I'd love to see that,
but of course I don't know all the details.

Speaker 19 (01:13:27):
Look, I'll tell you one other thing. When during that
time when I was trying to reconnect, I was diagnosed
with non hoskinsimp fhoma. There was very strong possibility that
what I was going to have to have a bow
male transplant, which would have meant that I would have
ended up if he was willing with his DNA. Wow,
And I really seriously thought, what do I really want

(01:13:52):
to have this person that hates me that much in
my body?

Speaker 2 (01:13:56):
Wow, That's that's a cinematic situation you've got right there.

Speaker 19 (01:14:02):
And look, it didn't it didn't come down to it, luckily,
but there was that sort of possibility, and yeah, better
history there.

Speaker 2 (01:14:09):
Gosh, yeah, my god, what a story.

Speaker 3 (01:14:11):
Yeah, Julian, thanks for being so frank with us.

Speaker 2 (01:14:13):
Well yeah, and absolutely absolutely one hundred get back to
us if you're identical twin brother reaches out to you
because I love only some closure as well, Julian, so
much for you very much.

Speaker 3 (01:14:28):
Wow. So I know I've had some problems with my brothers,
but you know that really puts things into perspective, doesn't it.

Speaker 2 (01:14:34):
For some reason, I'm quite quite affected they're there identical
twins because you do you do see that from the outside.
You think identical twins will just be close for their
whole life. But it's interesting who's the older twin because
my mum and her sister were twins, right, ye, not identical,
but twins and ones like just a few minutes older
my mum, and as a result, she was always the

(01:14:56):
older sister. Yeah, even though it was only moments, because
you've always told you came out first, so you become
kind of the older twin even though it's seconds. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:15:03):
And that must have been particularly half of Julian, because
you do hear that those twins have their connection wherever
they are in the world, there's just that connection if
you're a twin, whether that's straw or not. I'm not
a twin, I don't know, but yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:15:14):
Well you think that you're asking me, is you think
it's true that they've got a psychic connection?

Speaker 3 (01:15:18):
Yeah, what do you reckon?

Speaker 2 (01:15:21):
It's funny though, because you know that's not true. You
know that twins. Twins don't have a psychic connection, but
we all think they do. Yeah, we all imagine.

Speaker 3 (01:15:28):
Movies have lied to us. One hundred eighty ten eighty.

Speaker 2 (01:15:31):
That was a great story from Julian.

Speaker 3 (01:15:33):
Yeah, one hundred eighty ten eighty is the number to call.
It is ten to three.

Speaker 1 (01:15:38):
The issues that affect you and a bit of fun
along the way. Matt and Taylor Afternoons with the Volvo
xc N eighty Innovation, Style and Design, have it all
News Talk.

Speaker 3 (01:15:48):
Said, be afternoon, Phil. Have you had a moment where
you fell out with a sibling or other family member?

Speaker 4 (01:15:57):
No?

Speaker 15 (01:15:57):
No, okay, mate.

Speaker 5 (01:16:00):
And mess No.

Speaker 19 (01:16:02):
No, Unfortunately I haven't got any an idy child. But
there's a couple of things I wanted to touch on.
Onezo a bit different, but the same sort of thing.
But yeah, Firstly, my mother had three brothers and she
had a couple of issues with a couple of them,
and we always used to go there and stay on
holidays and that, and they were always glad to see

(01:16:23):
her and they loved her. But she kind of got
a few things, you know, issues in her mind with them,
that sort of thing. And I always felt that it
was such a shame, so sad because being an only
child and these were my uncles. I used to look
at it like, Gee, I wish I had brothers and
sisters that loved me, you know, and we might have
differences in that, but they're always glad to see her,

(01:16:45):
and yeah, she I don't know how to say it,
but sometimes couldn't see that, you know, But I could
because I was sort of even though it was a
son and a grand grandchild, I could see it from
the outside of someone's perspective of looking in without brothers
and sisters saying, Gee, they love you. Why can't you

(01:17:07):
see it? And why are you so angry at them?
At times?

Speaker 2 (01:17:09):
You know, I was just sort of saying that before
everyone looks out other families and go wish mine was
like that, there's something wrong with mine. I had three sisters,
always wanted a brother. But then you talk to other
people that had their brother and they had massive problems
with their brothers. You don't have any brothers and sisters,
so you think that people falling out of their brothers
and sisters. You've got this opportunity to have this relationship
that you don't, so you, for you, it must be like,

(01:17:31):
come on, just get together. You've got this amazing opportunity.

Speaker 17 (01:17:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 19 (01:17:35):
Yeah, it is because for me a lot of times,
like I'm fifty six now and both my parents are gone,
and so for me, I always sort of the world
can be a very lonely place at times, you know,
and for me, like you say, like sometimes all you
have is family to fall back on, you know, or
be to support you. But the other thing I wanted

(01:17:57):
to say, and that's why I think it's so sad too.
And now the thing because I understand things happened, you know,
we know you we're human beings, an emotional and that,
and it's hard to control those at most sometimes. But
the other thing, the slightly different thing was that I
was wanting to say too, was that my grandfather was
from Northern Ireland and I don't have no much history
and he got killed and I was a baby and

(01:18:18):
no one want to talk here, and no one sort
of talked about about Granddad and his home in Northern Ireland,
where he came from, what happened and why he left
in that but he came out with her brother. So
uncle Sam, who I was always told was my uncle
and I was one of Granddad's brothers, and he lived
in the same town for years and years as my
father and my father got a set too, and the

(01:18:40):
great distubborn, bloody Irish as they say, got a set
to and a grudge against Sam and blame them for
some kind of thing to do with the death of
his mother. And he wanted to talk to him and
for years and years, and he never took me around
to see him. So I missed out. And Sam died,
and funnily enough, the old man ended up going to
his funeral after being in the same town for twenty

(01:19:02):
years and never talking to him. Are going to see
him or thirty years? This was just down in Gore,
So I missed out. That denoyed me the opportunity to
go around to see him, find out about Yeah, my
grandfather and family and that.

Speaker 2 (01:19:15):
Well we've got to go now. Phil. Thank you so
much for your story. But that's a good point, and
you know your grudges mean that other peoples can miss
out on family members as well. When we come back
in a couple of minutes, I'll share the results of
this eighty five year old Harvard study around family and grudges.

Speaker 3 (01:19:32):
Yeap, looking forward to that. It is four minutes to three,
New Sport and weather on its way. Thank you very
much as always for your company. Listening to Matt and Tyler.
Good afternoon to you, talking with.

Speaker 4 (01:20:11):
You all afternoon.

Speaker 1 (01:20:13):
It's Matt Heathen Taylor Adams Afternoons with the Volvo X
ninety News Talks.

Speaker 3 (01:20:18):
Be good afternoon, Welcome back to the show. Six past three.
We've had for the past hour are pretty confronting but
also a very good discussion about times that sibling relationships
have broken down. And we had some pretty powerful texts
came through on nine two nineteen.

Speaker 2 (01:20:36):
Yeah, we're going to move on, but before we did,
people have gone to the effort. This hundreds of texts
being sent through and people have gone to the effort.
They're quite long text and I thought, come, we've got
to read some of them out. Yeah, got it. We're
too busy. Last it feels unfair if we don't read
some of these out right.

Speaker 3 (01:20:50):
Absolutely my past hours. So let's get to some of
them now. This one says my brother is a pastor.
I smoke and drink and I ended up being the
blank sheep of the family. Is my family said I'm
a sinner. None of us will change, and we had
many full fallouts over time. We get together and I
don't say any think now about religion, and my brother
doesn't say I'm a sinner. It is working, all right

(01:21:12):
from Steve. That's tough.

Speaker 2 (01:21:17):
That's funny. Yeah, so that seems like there's a classic
story that one isn't It certainly is.

Speaker 3 (01:21:24):
Yes, the family.

Speaker 2 (01:21:25):
Yeah, my brother made some stupid decisions that meant he
ended up in jail, and after he got out he
finally changed et cetera. But we had no contact for
about four or five years. Now we get on fine.
He has a young family and they love hanging out
with each other.

Speaker 3 (01:21:39):
That's nice.

Speaker 5 (01:21:40):
There you go.

Speaker 2 (01:21:40):
It's a positive one. This one here jail.

Speaker 3 (01:21:43):
Kay, guys, I haven't spoken to my sister now for
three years. When my mom died, her wishes were to
be cremated and then have her ashes put in a
box and buried under a tree in the cemetery. So
what did my sisters do? She scattered them, which made
me incredibly upset. Sisters, Ah, I prefer my friends from Marlene.

Speaker 2 (01:22:02):
That's a that's a bold move. So when my mom
she wanted her, it's just put in a boxing and
she's got Yeah. Okay, that's out of spite.

Speaker 3 (01:22:11):
That is Yeah, that's incredibly topic.

Speaker 2 (01:22:14):
Isn't it.

Speaker 5 (01:22:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:22:17):
I was going to tell a story about someone that's
asked me to commit a vengeful act on someone else
with his eshes. He's sworn me I'm not going to
give them the details actually, because yeah, ever.

Speaker 3 (01:22:28):
Think about that one.

Speaker 2 (01:22:29):
That sounds like I know someone, when they die, we're
going to cremate him, and then I'm going to commit
a vengeful act on someone else with the HI guys
would love to call but bad reception. I think because
you both appear to have wonderful families, it's hard for
you to get your head around cutting them off. Tyler
just made the point that his dad said it's for

(01:22:50):
the best. He would be upset, but he couldn't cut
him off. Tyler, what if your dad said such an
insensitive thing constantly? Could you be patient enough to constantly
forgive him, but I bet eventually you would snap and
your life would be better without him. That's from Craig.
I mean that that's true, that that is the elephant
in the room for both of us commenting on this
and going, well, I think you should patch it all together,

(01:23:12):
and you can. And stuff is that we've both got good,
you know, good relationships with their families, and we've been
lucky in that regard. So me me saying I would
never have a grudge with my sisters and never stopped
talking to them as a testament to what great sisters
I've got, which is pure luck.

Speaker 5 (01:23:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:23:28):
Yeah, and easy for me to say as well, you're
quite right.

Speaker 2 (01:23:31):
Or maybe they're great because I'm such a great brother. Hey, guys,
I think before you grudge, I lost my best Hey guys,
think before you grudge. I lost my best friends suddenly.
One year ago. I lost my best friend suddenly, brother
one year ago. I'm absolutely devastated. I thank god we
never had one argument. He was fifty eight and I'm
in my sixties. That's Kathy. Yeah, I mean, that's the

(01:23:52):
other thing with a grudge is you don't know what's
going to happen in the next You've got to make
sure that their grudge is worth it, because you can't
you can't really do much about it once they've gone.

Speaker 20 (01:24:01):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:24:01):
Absolutely. Now you mentioned before the news when it comes
to grudges, there was a particular study that was done
on the effects of holding a groach.

Speaker 2 (01:24:10):
Well, this study is it's the longest study that's ever
been done on human happiness. It was an eighty five
year old, eighty five year Harvard study, and so it
found one thousand young people in Boston and followed them
for their entire life eighty five years. And it was originally, interestingly,

(01:24:31):
it was originally commissioned by a department store that wanted
to find out if happiness made better employees. But they
was taken on by Harvard University and it was kept
going eighty one years. And the psychiatrist that ran it
as a guy called Robert Walmdanger, and he ran it
for some of it. There'd been a few others, but
it went for so long. But in the end, after

(01:24:52):
all of the happiness everything, they summed up exactly what
the difference between happiness and a lack of happiness in
life was. After eighty five years and all the different things.
And this is a quote from from Robert Waldinger. Contrary
to what you might think, it's not career achievement, money, exercise,

(01:25:13):
or a healthy diet. The most consistent finding we've learned
through eighty five years of study is positive relationships up
keep us happier, healthier, and help us live longer. Period.
And his advice was get over grudges. Yeah, so after
an eighty five year study, he found that the people
that keept grudges were less happy, and the people that

(01:25:35):
got over them were happier on the whole. And obviously
there's ones you can't go. There's terrible things people do.
But if you can tend towards getting overgrudges and patching
up relationships with people, be their friends and family, then
you have a happier and healthier life. That's a great
according to an eighty five year study.

Speaker 3 (01:25:50):
Yep, that's a great way to end that. Right after
we play some messages, we won't have a chat about
tattoos and whether they are still to be in New Zealand.
If you've got tattoos yourself, I've.

Speaker 2 (01:26:03):
Got some sweet tats.

Speaker 3 (01:26:04):
You do have some sweet test how many tattoos? Have
you got all up five? I can see two of them.
Where are the other three?

Speaker 2 (01:26:11):
You can see two of them. It's just one here.
I've got this dinosaur with the getto Blaster. That's a
pretty cool tat That is.

Speaker 3 (01:26:16):
A great story behind me.

Speaker 2 (01:26:18):
That actually might be the worst tattoo that anyone in
the entire world has. That tattoo I've got on my
on my left shoulder of a dinosaur or the getto Blaster?

Speaker 3 (01:26:25):
What does that say on the coat of arms? It's
almost like a coat of arms?

Speaker 2 (01:26:28):
But has it got some sort of it says Matt
Heath is the greatest?

Speaker 17 (01:26:30):
Does it?

Speaker 3 (01:26:31):
Hex thing?

Speaker 5 (01:26:31):
Yeah? It might be.

Speaker 2 (01:26:34):
It's the worst ttoever. It's not even factually true.

Speaker 3 (01:26:37):
Well what's the story behind that?

Speaker 2 (01:26:38):
Well, it's just at one point in my life I
thought a dinosaur or the getto Blaster would be a
cool thing to get tattooed on me, and then I
changed the message on it. At one point it used
to say something else. And on this the arm I've
got like a I mean, I can go on, but
this is just a sailing ship.

Speaker 3 (01:26:55):
There's very popeye, isn't it.

Speaker 17 (01:26:56):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (01:26:57):
Yeah, I love your style, mate, that's great, But.

Speaker 2 (01:27:01):
Anyway, tattoos are they are they still to taboo after
this this, this, this article today Tyler.

Speaker 3 (01:27:07):
Well, this particular guy, he's the founder of two Hands
Tattoo Studio. His name is Stefan and Spider Sinclair and
he reckons we are one of the most tattooed nations
on the planet. But certainly in the past twenty thirty,
forty to fifty years there has been some taboo around tattoos.
He reckons Stefan that most of those taboos have gone

(01:27:28):
by the wayside, But I would argue there are some
tattoos that would still raise eyebrows. Neck tattoos, for example,
even if those nick tattoos have no relation to any
sort of gang activity or any sort of nefarious activity,
I would still raise my eyebrows a little bit if
I came across someone with a nick tattoo, I would
want to know the story behind it. But part of

(01:27:50):
me would still question, Hey, whether that is somewhat nefarious
or whether that is just the trend of today.

Speaker 2 (01:27:57):
It's a bold move. Certainly is because you don't know.
You're saying that this is what you're going to be
for the rest of your life. I mean, you can
get them laser removed. But I'm sure there are people
And even if if look, even if you wouldn't think
that you would be judgmental of a tattoo, you might
be hiring someone and you might just look at that
neck tattoo and go wow, that's a pretty extreme thing

(01:28:19):
to do. I wonder if that person thinks about the
future enough. Yeah, you know, whilst you're not actually judging them,
you might you might think about that.

Speaker 3 (01:28:26):
Because we all love shortcuts, right when you first meet someone,
you've got the subconscious shortcuts that we all make. And
I reckon there'd still be for a lot of people
that subconscious thing when they see a tattoo, particularly neck tattoo,
instantly they would think that person's got a bit of
a bit of a past on them. Yeah, but am
I wrong?

Speaker 2 (01:28:45):
Yeah? I don't know. Is there still a tattoo taboo
eight hundred and eighty ten eighty or nine two nine two,
Or if you've got your a tattoo that you regret,
then would love to hear from you too. And if
you've got an intense tattoo that the world can see
that you don't regret, we'd also love to hear from you.

Speaker 4 (01:29:04):
Yep.

Speaker 3 (01:29:04):
Oh, eight hundred eighty ten eighty is the number to call.
It is a quarter past three. You're listening to matt
entirely good afternoon news talks. Thereb we're talking about tattoos
in New Zealand society. Oh and we've been delivered some
beautiful healthy treats. There's a lot of sillad on that sandwich.

Speaker 2 (01:29:22):
Yeah, yeah, there's not How.

Speaker 3 (01:29:25):
Much do we want to say here about what's being
delivered here?

Speaker 2 (01:29:28):
Does my current diaxon, you know, like I'm trying to
get healthy? Does that include sausage rolls, um min spies?
I think it does.

Speaker 3 (01:29:36):
Let's go to it all right, back to tattoos. We've
asked the question is there still taboo around tattoos in
New Zealand, particularly around the neck and heads. There's the
founder of two Hands Tattoo Studio, Steph Spider Sinclair, and
he reckons New Zealand is one of the most tattooed
nations in the planet. So love to hear from you.
If you've had a tattoo you regret, or if you're

(01:29:59):
heavily tattooed yourself, what was the appeal for.

Speaker 2 (01:30:01):
You I'm professional for you to be eating on the
air trailer.

Speaker 3 (01:30:04):
How's how's that beautiful healthy salad that you're chewing into.

Speaker 2 (01:30:08):
I'm just be very careful not to split anything on
the floor with with the Godfather back with my costing.

Speaker 3 (01:30:13):
Heat, he won't be happy. This was a clean studio.

Speaker 2 (01:30:15):
Yeah, I think he's right that that New Zealand's one
of the most tattooed places in the world. You go overseas,
but so many tattoos in New Zealand. But also we
walk around and sing singlets a lot more than other people.
I mean, if you go to Paris, everyone's wearing a
fancy suit, you know, so you don't see that kind
of stuff.

Speaker 3 (01:30:31):
It was a long time ago since I've been in Thailand,
but a lot of Russians in Thailand they love a
good tattoo. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, eight ten eighty
is a number to call. Get a cameron.

Speaker 11 (01:30:41):
Hey, how's it going, leads good?

Speaker 3 (01:30:43):
Now you have got a lot of tats.

Speaker 11 (01:30:46):
Yeah yeah, pretty far of my body at this point.
Not much on the face, a little bit, my whole
head's done, my hands, arms full, upper body, back, front, Yeah,
a few spaces on on the legs, a few spaces
on the face, but I probably won't go there, you know.

Speaker 2 (01:31:04):
Did you have you ever worried that that might employment options?

Speaker 11 (01:31:11):
Yeah, definitely a concern, but funnily enough, I've probably been
more successful with since I've had the tattoos then before
I had them. So I'm in a pretty high paying
job doing really well. No financial employment issues, So yeah,
I have a worry, but it hasn't been an issue.

Speaker 2 (01:31:31):
So did you get your job through a job interviews?
So you sat down with your potential bloet and did
you see their eyes creeping around your tattoos at all?

Speaker 11 (01:31:43):
A little bit?

Speaker 2 (01:31:44):
Yeah?

Speaker 11 (01:31:44):
But I mean as long as you have the skills
and you know what you're doing, I don't think it's
an issue.

Speaker 6 (01:31:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:31:50):
Do you ever find people looking at you? Maybe slightly strangely, Cameron?
And your daily life because you've got so many tattoos,
you'd admit you would be quite unique. And even in
New Zealand, do you find a few side glances when
you're just going about your daily life?

Speaker 6 (01:32:07):
Very rarely?

Speaker 11 (01:32:07):
Usually you know old lady at a supermarket or something
like that, but generally no, not really A do.

Speaker 2 (01:32:14):
You mind if I ask how old you are, Cameron.

Speaker 11 (01:32:17):
I'm thirty two, thirty two, so you've probably.

Speaker 2 (01:32:20):
Lived your whole life in an era where tattoos are
more acceptable. I guess correct, because if say you were
around I think in the in the eighties in nineties,
potentially not so much. I mean tato is, yeah, because
I imagine it would have been a major problem having

(01:32:41):
the amount of tattoos you had in terms of employment,
if it was even in the early two thousands.

Speaker 11 (01:32:46):
Yeah, I would agree. But look, you know, I just
see it no different to dyeing your hair or putting
on makeup, you know, putting paintings.

Speaker 6 (01:32:55):
On your walls.

Speaker 11 (01:32:55):
It's just art and self expression, you know that. So
I don't think there's any issue with getting tattoos.

Speaker 3 (01:33:03):
Do you mind?

Speaker 6 (01:33:03):
Obviously?

Speaker 3 (01:33:04):
Do you mind talking about the reasons behind tattoos? Where
your tattoos when people ask you?

Speaker 11 (01:33:10):
Yeah, I mean it's a bit of a bit of
a funny one. I don't really have heaps that have
backstory or meaning, but it's just art to me. And yeah,
but I don't mind talking about them at all. And
now I've got a lot of friends that are tattoo artists,
and so I'm around that culture quite a lot. I'm
kind of used to it now.

Speaker 2 (01:33:28):
You got any regrets anyone's that you don't like anymore?

Speaker 11 (01:33:32):
No, no, not really. Every time I get a new
big piece, like something on going up the side of
my neck or when I got my head done there,
there's a sort of initial regret for a day or two, like, oh, no,
I have I taken a step too far this time?
But once the mirror becomes familiar again, it's all good,
you know.

Speaker 3 (01:33:51):
And how much do you reckon it's cost you a camera?

Speaker 15 (01:33:54):
Oh?

Speaker 11 (01:33:56):
Probably coming up to thirty thirty k.

Speaker 6 (01:33:59):
Yeah, yeah, i'd say so wow.

Speaker 2 (01:34:01):
And have you got a partner?

Speaker 5 (01:34:03):
Yes?

Speaker 14 (01:34:03):
I do?

Speaker 2 (01:34:04):
And does she enjoy your tattoos?

Speaker 5 (01:34:09):
I'd hope.

Speaker 11 (01:34:09):
So she's got quite a few tattoos.

Speaker 2 (01:34:12):
As well, so she's never saying, oh, come on, no,
I want to I want that was a real. That
was a real my favorite part of you. And now
it's got to now it's got a picture on it.

Speaker 6 (01:34:21):
No, no, not quite.

Speaker 11 (01:34:22):
But I do have a nine month old little boy now,
so sometimes, you know, carrying him around, I feel like
I'm getting different looks, you know, through the daycare centers
and whatnot. So that's maybe a little and inty bit
of you know, side eye there.

Speaker 2 (01:34:36):
But have you have you thought about what age you
would be okay with your your son getting tattooed.

Speaker 11 (01:34:44):
I haven't put a whole lot of thought into it,
but I just you know, he can do whatever he wants.
If he's into it, go for.

Speaker 9 (01:34:50):
It, you know.

Speaker 2 (01:34:51):
Yeah, it'd be pretty pretty tough for you to come
down hard and forget.

Speaker 11 (01:34:55):
Yeah, that's right, I mean hold off to you know,
what you want to do. But whatever age that is
for that person, all good.

Speaker 5 (01:35:02):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:35:03):
And would you because I hear this quite a bat
and you know, I've got not very many tattoos, nothing
like you. But there's something about it that's quite addictive
where you start thinking about having another one. There's something
kind of about the way it feels. It's the pain
of it. There's something that makes me want to have more.
Do you do you get that?

Speaker 5 (01:35:22):
Yeah? Yeah?

Speaker 6 (01:35:23):
Yeah?

Speaker 11 (01:35:24):
At the start. Now I'm gone the opposite way. I've
had a bit of a handful. It's getting Sora and
Sora and I go, oh god, am I still doing
this to myself?

Speaker 4 (01:35:32):
You know?

Speaker 11 (01:35:33):
But the end result is still worth it.

Speaker 3 (01:35:35):
Where was the most painful part to get the tattoo camera, the.

Speaker 11 (01:35:40):
Sort of above your belly button stomach carrier was bad, right, yeah, yeah, yeah,
head obviously was pretty bad. Yeah, but I think anywhere
where you've got you know, organs that don't want to
be hurt around the spine and stuff.

Speaker 4 (01:35:55):
You know.

Speaker 11 (01:35:55):
Yeah, your body's saying stop that now.

Speaker 2 (01:35:57):
So generally, Cameron, no regrets. No, no, no regrets, Mate,
ninety percent of your body no regrets.

Speaker 17 (01:36:05):
Love it.

Speaker 2 (01:36:06):
Calling Cameron, Appreciate it.

Speaker 3 (01:36:09):
Oh eight hundred eighty ten eighty is the number to
call if you've had a tattoo recently. Love to hear
from you, and if you've got one that you regret,
and have.

Speaker 2 (01:36:18):
We got anyone out there with one hundred percent tattoos and.

Speaker 3 (01:36:21):
Can you beat Cameron? Oh eight one hundred and eighty
ten eighty is the number to call. Twenty five past three,
you're listening to Matt and.

Speaker 1 (01:36:26):
Tyler Matt Heathen, Tyler Adams afternoons, call OH eight hundred
eighty ten eighty on News TALGSB.

Speaker 3 (01:36:37):
News Talks B. It is twenty seven past three and
we're talking about tattoos. Are they still taboo in New Zealand?
This is on the Bank of a story in The
Herald and Viva from Two Hands tattoo parlor owner Stefan Sinclair,
who says we're one of the most tattooed nations on
the planets. Tim, you've got a tatoo, gentlemen.

Speaker 16 (01:36:57):
Yeah, ka, mate, I've actually got a I've got a couple,
and I think it's an each to your own fine
of situation. Really, I compliment people on this tattoo esus
if they're to my liking. If they're not, I don't
shay anything, you know, why do that.

Speaker 2 (01:37:15):
It'll be confrontational, just after someone on the street and go,
I don't like your tattoos, mate, that would be there
would be a lot. So we're about worry about your tattoos, Tim,
Are they can are they? Are they what's what's the
word I'm looking for? Are they readily available?

Speaker 11 (01:37:28):
When you.

Speaker 2 (01:37:30):
They can see?

Speaker 16 (01:37:30):
It'd be very concealed, you know. I really choose not
to share them with anyone, and I couldn't because you're
about even feed into my clacker. After a colonoscopy. What so,
after a colonoscopy, I had a couple of polyps removed

(01:37:51):
each time to too polyps removed and they mark the
site with a tattoo.

Speaker 3 (01:37:57):
I don't know they can do that.

Speaker 2 (01:37:58):
Is this is this like is this a medical it?
Was it a medical procedure or was it?

Speaker 16 (01:38:03):
It's not a It wasn't it wasn't it wasn't recreation.
You that right, No, it's definitely miracles a colonoscopy. And
they they did tell me prior that they if they
found anything, they would.

Speaker 6 (01:38:18):
You give it to Mark?

Speaker 2 (01:38:20):
Was it a love hat? I love mom?

Speaker 16 (01:38:23):
Or well I asked for a screaming eagle one year?
Probably not so they had heard it all before that,
he had. Yeah, Jacob, but you got to you gotta
go for it because you're off your head on profofile
or whatever it's anyway, and you funny.

Speaker 2 (01:38:40):
Or I do I enjoyed because of the drugs they
gave me. Was yeah, you're so right. Yeah, you think
you're the funniest person in the entire world. And they've
done You're the tenth person they've done today that thinks
of the funniest person.

Speaker 3 (01:38:51):
I'm suddenly looking forward to that.

Speaker 2 (01:38:55):
So so that that that those tedoo are they the
only tatoos you've got the ones that, to.

Speaker 16 (01:39:01):
Be honest, I wouldn't been not for me on the outside,
but I'm fond of my intern wise patoos.

Speaker 6 (01:39:09):
I know, I know they're there, and it.

Speaker 16 (01:39:12):
Gives me a gives me a warm glow sometimes literally.

Speaker 2 (01:39:16):
But yeah, oh well, hey, thank you so much for
your cool term that those aren't going to affect you.
You and a job interview, and that's it's very intimate.

Speaker 16 (01:39:24):
I would hope they wouldn't affect me at all at
any time. Yeah, otherwise it's going to be a bad day.

Speaker 2 (01:39:31):
I would say, yeah, thank you very much to appreciate that.

Speaker 3 (01:39:36):
I try not to be surprised in the land of
talk back, but wow, that I was not expecting. That's
sort of cool, trying to chat about tattoos that I like.

Speaker 2 (01:39:44):
Very the lead there. Hey, guys, my daughter, who's in
her thirties now has many tattoos. As a mother, it
was heartbreaking thinking of that perfect baby I gave birth to.
It made me sad. Yeah, I can see that. I mean,
my mother didn't talk to me for a week when
I knocked my teeth out during some kind of stupid incident, because.

Speaker 3 (01:40:05):
She would have been very proud of your teeth, beautiful teeth.

Speaker 2 (01:40:08):
I A I got them knocked out. So you know,
parents have a very different view of their child because
you put so much effort and time and keeping them
safe and looking after them and worrying about every rash
they get and all that kind of stuff.

Speaker 3 (01:40:20):
Created this beautiful thing that is perfect in every way. Yeah,
and you're just worried that maybe.

Speaker 2 (01:40:25):
And then they cover it in a I don't know,
a massive dinosaur. The ghetto blast.

Speaker 3 (01:40:31):
Oh eight, one hundred and eighty ten eighty is the
number to call love to hear from you about your tattoos.
It is twenty nine to four.

Speaker 13 (01:40:41):
You talk said the headlines with blue bubble taxis it's
no trouble with a blue bubble fine ar day. Police
say the death of a motorbike rider yesterday is a homicide.
They're asking for sighting so if it's blue and silver
bike on State Highway fifteen between Mango Taipari and or
Taker on Tuesday night or early Wednesday. He was found

(01:41:02):
dead in the Northland Creek and his bike and a
nearby lay by the Children's Minister has cas reviews of
ung Tamariki contracts to stop the cancelation of the Bernado's
eight hundred What's up hotline for under twelves. Rang Tamariki
has been canceling contracts following a government directive to find savings. Meanwhile,

(01:41:23):
the Housing Minister says it's good news kanga Ura will
reopen tenders to let Kiwi will carpet suppliers try for
the state housing contract. Organizers of the new cut price
school lunch initiative so though, having a few early snags
with delays and deliveries and feedback will be crucial to
making things better for art collectors on how it and

(01:41:47):
riches their lives and how to form a collection.

Speaker 2 (01:41:50):
You can see the story at Viva Premium.

Speaker 13 (01:41:52):
Back to Matt Eath and Tyler Adams.

Speaker 3 (01:41:56):
Thank you very much Raillen having a great discussion about
tattoos on the back of a story in the New
Zealand Herald saying that we are one of the most
tattooed nations in the world. Love to hear from you
if you've got a tattoo, particularly one that you regretted
later in life. Oh, one hundred and eighty ten eighty
is the number to call. Roger, How are you good dranks?

Speaker 9 (01:42:17):
Now?

Speaker 3 (01:42:18):
You want to have a chat about a friend's tattoo
that was done under they were anibre added at the time.

Speaker 20 (01:42:26):
Well, that's part of the story. The first part of
the story is how I got to see it with
a quick glance. But every lady in the room was
absolutely fascinated. Okay, well, background, he's an ex British Navy,
one of the original hard bastards, and he's got tattoos
all over his chest, arms, shoulders, all the usual places.

(01:42:50):
We both wandered into a bar and bat'm Indonesia for
a bit of a meal and a couple of drinks,
and the ladies who were fascinated with a couple of
his tattoos. So he's unbuttoned a shirt and he's showing
them and a bit of a discussion going on. Then
one of them goes along, you got in where where
haven't you got tattoos? And he goes nowhere, I've got

(01:43:11):
tattoos everywhere. And I'm like, hey, what made And then
he basically quietly told me where he's got a tattoo?
And I'm like, you are not you You're not kidding,
are you. His name is Jock, and you think of
a body part that rains rhymes with jock, and you
know where he had his name tattooed, so yeah, man

(01:43:33):
as old fella.

Speaker 16 (01:43:34):
Wow, well that's the next part of the story.

Speaker 20 (01:43:40):
Anyway, we told them managed the rest of the bar,
and she went no way, no way. So me, being
an opportunist, I says two bears each if he's got
a tattoo, where he says he's got a tattoo, because
I know he's not shy, and she goes, you're on
so night job, get it out, and so he stood up,
flopped it out on the bar.

Speaker 16 (01:44:03):
Yep.

Speaker 20 (01:44:03):
So it's not something I normally look at on other guys,
but hey, ance, yep, Hurt's got jock written there, and
the managerress and every other lady in the bar just
had to have a look. Okay, a couple of three beers.
I asked him how the hell and why the hell,
and he goes, there was a ten pound bet when

(01:44:24):
I was tested in Hong Kong and the Navy. He
goes ten pound bet and goes, yeah, it cost me
fifty quid to get it and I won ten pound.
He says it was a bet and I was drunk,
so that it doesn't make too much sense afterwards.

Speaker 3 (01:44:38):
Yeah, yeah, just as well.

Speaker 20 (01:44:40):
It was just as well, it was only three letters
because it hurt like hell, well.

Speaker 2 (01:44:45):
Thank you so much for your call, Roger.

Speaker 3 (01:44:48):
I mean, look, granted he was inebriated and they had
a massive hit of steam on them, but you've got
a feel for the tattoo artist in that scenario, surely.

Speaker 2 (01:44:55):
Yeah, I'm sure you know if you're going into two
hands tattoo with Stephan Sinclair, Steffan Spider Sinclair who started
the story so in the New Zealand's the most tatooed
country in the world, I'm pretty sure you can't go
and get that part of you out and he'll right, Jock.

Speaker 3 (01:45:08):
Yeah, that's a job every tedto arts would absolutely hatefuln't it.
I One hundred and eighty ten eighty is the number
to call, Vivian.

Speaker 21 (01:45:14):
How are you not too bad?

Speaker 16 (01:45:17):
Thank you?

Speaker 3 (01:45:19):
So you've got a couple of tattoos.

Speaker 22 (01:45:22):
Yeah, I was thinking about what us guys were saying.
It's all right when you get these tattos when you're
in your younger days, but then when you're add a
few years on, they don't look exactly the same as
what they used.

Speaker 3 (01:45:33):
To look like.

Speaker 22 (01:45:35):
Hence, I've got two little birdies that were on tattooed
on my bum and now they look like dodos, and
I had a lovely little rose on my chest what
they now looked like a drooping rose. But when I
did I was thirty when I got my first tatto,
and that was not too bad. I quite enjoyed it.

(01:45:55):
It was better than gain to the dentist. But the
second one I got five years later on my back side,
and I actually painted when they were doing the outline,
and I actually went out for about twenty minutes and
they had to feed me with pat the tigue with
heats of sugar and horro bar. But to get it finished,

(01:46:17):
I had to go to my doctors and ask him
to put a jab and me bum and numb it
so I could go and get the rest of the
tattoo finished. Do I regret having that one done?

Speaker 9 (01:46:26):
Yes?

Speaker 13 (01:46:26):
I do?

Speaker 3 (01:46:27):
Ye are?

Speaker 9 (01:46:28):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (01:46:28):
Are you a bit gutted they didn't just keep going
when you fainted because they could have just finished it
there when you were passed out?

Speaker 22 (01:46:34):
No, they couldn't know what's too not in.

Speaker 23 (01:46:37):
A good state?

Speaker 3 (01:46:38):
Okay, No? No, yeah, it's a wise yeah. And so
do you any of those tatooes you regret vivianna, is
there is regret the right word, or you're still very
happy that you got them done?

Speaker 22 (01:46:50):
Well, it's like I said, they looked really good when
I was younger and I was played with them. But
now that I've added another thirty years on, my booths
looked like dodos and roses faded and it looked like
a wilting rose. Now it's sort of drup.

Speaker 2 (01:47:07):
Well, unless you don't have to show them to people
like that, sounds like they're concealed.

Speaker 22 (01:47:11):
So they look really good in the beginning, but as
you age, you skin changing. Yeah, yep, you know when
you're saying that, you know these guys what the kind
of look like when they get older?

Speaker 6 (01:47:25):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (01:47:25):
Thank you?

Speaker 2 (01:47:26):
If you call Vivian yeah, well I mean that, I
mean you could argue about that every part of you,
you know, yeah, every part of you.

Speaker 3 (01:47:32):
We're all going to droop.

Speaker 2 (01:47:33):
Whether or not you could argue that whatever you've got
when you're twenty might not look as good when you're ready.

Speaker 3 (01:47:39):
Speak for yourself, mate, Well, you know right now, I've.

Speaker 2 (01:47:42):
Got beautiful per petrel muscles, you do, Yeah, that they
might droop. You never know.

Speaker 3 (01:47:47):
One hundred eighty ten eighty is a number to call.
Oh nice ticks tier after Roger's story he can't spell
jockeys four leaders not three. Yeah, well that was part
of the problem.

Speaker 2 (01:47:57):
You're thinking that, Yeah, yeah, we might have been ripped
off one letter there.

Speaker 3 (01:48:00):
Nine two ninety two is the tixt number. It is
nineteen to four.

Speaker 1 (01:48:05):
Have a chat with the lads on eighty eight Matt
and Taylor afternoons with the Volvo XC ninety ticking every
box a seamless experience.

Speaker 4 (01:48:14):
Awaits news talk said, be.

Speaker 3 (01:48:19):
News talks, be good afternoon. T You're sixteen to four
and we're talking about tattoos in New Zealand on the
back of a great story in the Herald, and it
quoted the Two Hands Tattoo Studio owner steph Anstenclair, who
says we are one of the most tattooed nations in
the world. What do you think, O eight hundred and
eighty ten eighty Steve, you used to have a tattoo shop.

(01:48:41):
Get a Steve Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve.

Speaker 2 (01:48:48):
Steve having a pettic of chips.

Speaker 3 (01:48:49):
I think, yeah, he's seeing some sort of mull. It
sounds like a carousel on the background.

Speaker 2 (01:48:54):
This is a butt dial from Steve.

Speaker 3 (01:48:55):
Maybe this is his tattoo shop.

Speaker 2 (01:48:57):
We'll give one last Steve and then we'll go to
the next caller, Steve.

Speaker 3 (01:49:05):
Yep, we might come back to Stee.

Speaker 2 (01:49:06):
You talk to Steve.

Speaker 3 (01:49:07):
Yeah, me too. Get a peak?

Speaker 24 (01:49:11):
Yeah, how you doing?

Speaker 6 (01:49:12):
God?

Speaker 3 (01:49:13):
Now you you get a few tattoos yourself?

Speaker 5 (01:49:15):
Peak?

Speaker 24 (01:49:17):
No, I got no tattoos, but I just want to
give you an experience I had when I was playing
rugby over in oz and we all showered pretty well.
On the same show, a couple of us guys asked
a soother guy, why has he got a tattoo of

(01:49:37):
a fish on these private parksquish and and he says, well,
let's just for the girls who eat meat on who
don't eat meat on Fridays.

Speaker 2 (01:49:49):
All right, all right, you have a good one, Peter,
thank you for your call. We appreciate it. So we're
talking about tato So far we've had we've we've been
in we've had two downstairs tatos, one functional, and we've
had a colonnast to be tatoo.

Speaker 3 (01:50:08):
All right, so maybe we should make tatoos too again?
Should we go to ann Let's get come on and
bring us back to.

Speaker 6 (01:50:16):
Uh, I'll try the beauty line.

Speaker 3 (01:50:19):
A boy, are you very good?

Speaker 6 (01:50:24):
Good?

Speaker 2 (01:50:24):
You're going to keep it away from private parts and
turn keep it clean?

Speaker 23 (01:50:28):
Well who does that, honestly on nationwide radio. But it's
not good for us old people. What have we become
in two little straight lines above my ardles seven years
and those tattooed on because I'm officially impaired, can't see
my face. So here we are. I just pleased this

(01:50:49):
last leave us long because I always worked in age
care and those that have come from Singapore and have
head eye line. At last, that poor lady with the
wiltered rose and my friend I know, had a little
devil put on her boot brings you first had at
first baby beautiful, Well you can imagine it now it's

(01:51:09):
like those balloons that all blew up when she had babies,
trued up to find it.

Speaker 3 (01:51:16):
Money.

Speaker 2 (01:51:16):
Well seen, So hang on a minute. We're okay. Now
we're on boobs.

Speaker 3 (01:51:20):
Yeah, you promised us you'll be cleaner.

Speaker 23 (01:51:23):
This is what we call infantrail feeding. This is where
we get our food like that.

Speaker 2 (01:51:28):
That is very true, isn't that? They do have a function.

Speaker 23 (01:51:31):
So while people are jack and she said, are you
the devil otherwise the off Yeah, yeah, but the proud, lovely,
lovely soul and down the stones are coined and there's
those people's My sister lived in Singapore nineteen ninety nine.
Groups would defense she had her eyebrows done and eyeliner. Yeah,

(01:51:52):
still immaculate, all right to be called.

Speaker 2 (01:51:56):
And yeah, so cosmetic tattooing, I know Michael Jackson was
famous for having that. So you can get your eyebrows
ttoo tattooed.

Speaker 3 (01:52:02):
On very common these days.

Speaker 2 (01:52:03):
Yeah, yeah, I mean it's kind of different whi we're
talking about, isn't it. We're talking about, you know, the
go from Two Tans and said we're most tattooed people
in the world. Art art art tattoos, Sweet tats. Go
to an old person's home and see the tattoos as
this text says, sorry, my machine's just gone and disappeared.

(01:52:24):
Fellos tats or old hat clear skins be the future soon. John, Well,
that's interesting because Ozzi Osborne famously said, if you want
to be an individual, don't get a tattoo. Everyone's got
one these days.

Speaker 3 (01:52:36):
Yeah, so, which is true.

Speaker 2 (01:52:37):
Yeah, so you're more individual than me. Tyler with you tattoos.

Speaker 3 (01:52:40):
Yeah, And the reason I don't have tattoos, Well, maybe
initially it was because of the cost of tattoos, Like
what expensive things, right, And if I was going to
spend four hundred bucks on a tattoo, d farberver to
spend that on a night out with my mates when
I was a student. But also I just there was,
you know, nothing that really happened in my life that
I thought I am going to get a tattoo to
mark that occasion. But I think more and more people

(01:53:02):
aren't doing it for that reason, right, They're doing it
generally because they think it looks like art rather than
momentous occasion in their life.

Speaker 6 (01:53:10):
Well.

Speaker 2 (01:53:10):
Yeah, and also, as this Texas says on nine two
nine two, I agree, matt tattoos are addictive. I only
have one, but I'm looking for the next one. Sweden
is also a heavily tattooed nation. Sorry, right when I
was young, only only my uncle's head tattoos. Call me old,
but I am concerned for the young girls and all
their markings, or they still love them in twenty years

(01:53:32):
when they're forty. You know, when they're forty, you can
still be sweet airs of the tatoo. Yeah, don't worry
about that.

Speaker 3 (01:53:37):
Oh, eight hundred and eighty ten eighty is the number
to call. We'll take a few more phone calls very shortly.
It is eleven to four.

Speaker 1 (01:53:44):
The big stories, the big issues, the big trends, and
everything in between. Matt and Taylor Afternoons with the Volvo
XC ninety attention to detail and a commitment to comfort.
News Dogs dead b on News Dogs, EDB.

Speaker 3 (01:54:00):
So I'm in good afternoon to you. You're fifty two
and you are thinking about getting your first tattoo.

Speaker 7 (01:54:05):
Yeap, yeap, never had a tato couldn't think of anything
that I would put on there, but maybe a pattern
or a bit of art. But yeah, obviously fifty toe.

Speaker 4 (01:54:14):
Thing about anyone?

Speaker 7 (01:54:15):
Now, my kids tell me, tell me I'm a MPC anyway,
So yeah, something about putt everyone on. They obviously aren't
cold anymore.

Speaker 2 (01:54:24):
What they think you're what? You're a non playing character?

Speaker 7 (01:54:28):
Yeah, that's yeah, that's the.

Speaker 2 (01:54:32):
Sometimes we all feel like I'm playing characters.

Speaker 3 (01:54:34):
I feel like an MPC sometimes, yeah, yeah, yeah, so
that's what I am.

Speaker 15 (01:54:38):
In your lives?

Speaker 3 (01:54:39):
Just what do you think in againing Simon? If you
had some thoughts?

Speaker 7 (01:54:46):
Oh, just something on shoulder or something like that. Yeah,
probably I'd probably go full sleep actually, but yeah, I
was brave enough. My wife likes them, and I said, oh, well,
you know at the sage. Anything to keep her happy,
I do, yeh, I've.

Speaker 2 (01:55:01):
Otherwise, why not just going to tattoo store and there'll
be some pictures on the wall. Yeah, I like, yeah,
snake wrapped around you, some some snake and grass and roses.
I don't know a skull.

Speaker 3 (01:55:13):
I don't love your style, tho. I'll just go in
there and say what's popular, give me that.

Speaker 1 (01:55:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 7 (01:55:18):
Yeah, well I live on a farm side and a
couple of sheep.

Speaker 2 (01:55:23):
Just take your arm in and say, go for your life. Boys,
just do what you want. What if you if if
you've always wanted to do and no one's asked for,
just do it to me. Yeah, character.

Speaker 6 (01:55:35):
Nobody.

Speaker 7 (01:55:35):
Yeah, I've got nothing to lose, ye, love Simon.

Speaker 2 (01:55:38):
Thank you for your call. Simon. Keep us updated and
how that goes.

Speaker 3 (01:55:42):
Craig get a mate, Oh no, we just lost Craig.

Speaker 5 (01:55:47):
Craig.

Speaker 21 (01:55:49):
Yeah, guys, interesting discussion. I actually quite enjoyed the fact
your producer first of all, asked me where was the tattoo.

Speaker 2 (01:55:58):
Yeah, producer, there's been, there's been. Out of all that
the calls of this hour, four of them have been
and basically in people's private parts.

Speaker 21 (01:56:05):
So you know, yeah, yeah, I totally get it. No,
I understood where he's going from. You don't have tattoos.
My dad had a lot of tattoos, so I don't
have tat that was kind of like, you know, I
couldn't really see this and what just wasn't me. But
I was working in the outback of all the years ago,
and through an old fellow like you know, pretty much
an old wagman if you like, you know, dirty jeans

(01:56:29):
and ripped shirt and backpack on and bare feet walking
down the road in the middle of nowhere, and picked
him up and ended up spending three for days traveling
with him because he was going through his w a
and we're sitting by the fire and he and I
had a look at his feet and these were feet
that were.

Speaker 5 (01:56:49):
Mate.

Speaker 21 (01:56:49):
They were they were like boots, if you know what
I mean. And on on his feet, on his left
foot was I'm tired And on his right foot.

Speaker 15 (01:56:58):
Was me too.

Speaker 5 (01:57:01):
Deep.

Speaker 2 (01:57:04):
I described that as a waste of time.

Speaker 3 (01:57:07):
I saw that though that would get a good luck too.

Speaker 21 (01:57:10):
It's just maybe Craig.

Speaker 5 (01:57:14):
He was.

Speaker 21 (01:57:15):
You can imagine his feet going, hey, I'm tired. Any
other one going to.

Speaker 2 (01:57:21):
Thank you so much? Craig. So we asked the question
are we the most tattooed country in the world at
the start of the show, and it seems that we
are the most genital and back passage tattooed country.

Speaker 3 (01:57:33):
We love the smart tattoos apparently.

Speaker 2 (01:57:35):
Yeah yeah, judging judging by most of the calls today.

Speaker 3 (01:57:38):
Yeah, hey, great day today. Thank you again for all
your phone calls, texts and correspondence. Will do it all
again tomorrow Friday.

Speaker 2 (01:57:44):
Tomorrow, Yeah, Friday, we'll announce the Met and Tyler afternoons
New Zealand of the week. But until then, give a
taste a Kiwi

Speaker 1 (01:58:07):
For more from us Talk set B listen live on
air or online, and keep our shows with you wherever
you go with our podcasts on iHeartRadio.