Full Show Podcast: 30 October 2024

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
You're listening to a podcast from news Talk zed B.
Follow this and our Wide Ranger podcast now on iHeartRadio.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
All Right, you're great, New Zealanders.

Speaker 3 (00:17):
Welcome to the Mattin Tyler arternoons on zb Full Show podcast.
Two hours of entertainment sit before you at the gym
or at your workplace or wherever you're listening to it,
including a lot of chat about alcohol and Dunedin at
a fashion show.

Speaker 4 (00:36):
Yeah, that was a great hour and a half. That
was We're only going to do it for an hour,
but it was a little bit spicy. Was some good debate,
good debate, and we like that.

Speaker 3 (00:45):
Me and someone called Molly, we fired up at each other.
Tell her what she was repeating herself, and I told
her this is my show. She's not true, it's actually
our show. Yeah, it's yours, Tyler mine an Andrew show.

Speaker 2 (00:58):
That's who show it is.

Speaker 4 (00:58):
But but great, great show through my toys.

Speaker 2 (01:01):
Honestly, this is my show. So you can't just lecture
us with your.

Speaker 4 (01:04):
Boring oh stuff. Anyway, you're gonna want to listen to that.
That was an enjoyable part of the show for you.
Plus engagement rings because this is something that I'm dealing
with at the moment, and I raised the question. You know,
I'm about to at some stage of the next twelve
months proposed to my partner. May bless you. I'm worried
about the ring. Do I go lab grow and do

(01:26):
I take it down with me?

Speaker 2 (01:28):
I like this.

Speaker 3 (01:29):
I like that you're planning it, but it's out there
and you're talking about it on.

Speaker 4 (01:35):
Surprise.

Speaker 3 (01:36):
That is the most romantic thing you can do, talk
about your engagement ring on news talks.

Speaker 2 (01:41):
He'd be afternoon, That's what I do.

Speaker 4 (01:42):
I'm a hopeless romantic.

Speaker 3 (01:45):
Anyway, enjoy the show and give me a taste a
kiwi from mass All right, okay, then you seem busy.

Speaker 1 (01:51):
You're new home for insightful and enter teening talk. It's
Maddie and Tyler Adams afternoons on.

Speaker 4 (01:58):
News Talk Zebby. It's very good afternoon to you. Welcome
to Wednesday. I hope you're having a great week. Middle
of the week. It's a short week. Maddie, get a mate.

Speaker 3 (02:08):
I'm having a great, great, great morning. I want to
share a little story about a sandwich in a second.
But before we were talking about, you know, the massive
pile of salt and total on it near the bay over.

Speaker 4 (02:19):
Everyone knows the massive pile of saltan tot on.

Speaker 3 (02:21):
Every time I go past there, every time, I commentated, go,
I'm a cricket to go down there. I look at
that big pile of salt and I go, how come
it doesn't disappear in the rain. And it's a very
simple answer. We were talking about this before with Rowena
because she's down there and I have to answer it
because I asked es I teast that. Basically, it's just
that it's the concentration Rainwater is typically not saturated with salt.

(02:42):
When it rains, the amount of water is not enough
to saturate it. So for example, if you had a
glass of water and you just poured enough salt in it,
then it would stop doing something. So it just goes
on the outside and it dissolves just the top layer,
but it doesn't go all the way through.

Speaker 4 (02:57):
Makes sense.

Speaker 3 (02:58):
You're very saturational, so it's quite as on the afternoons
it news talk z'd be. But yeah, I just want
to talk about when someone in your life makes you
a sandwich for lunch. As my lovely partner Tracy made
me a sandwich this morning, and you got to eat
it because they've shown the love of making you a
sandwich and you and if you don't eat it, then

(03:19):
kind of you're disrespecting that situation.

Speaker 4 (03:21):
You were throwing that love in their face.

Speaker 2 (03:23):
Yeah, you are so.

Speaker 3 (03:25):
Tracy made me a sandwich this morning and she said
you better eat it, and I put it out and
I thought, no, I'm not going to forget the sandwich
because if she comes home before me and finds that
sandwich in the fridge, I'm in trouble.

Speaker 2 (03:34):
And I lost it.

Speaker 3 (03:35):
And I was actually late for work, but I lost
the sandwich exactly. I lost the sandwich in the house.
It was the most phenomenal thing I couldn't look at.

Speaker 2 (03:42):
It was driving me.

Speaker 3 (03:42):
I thought I had a polter guys that had stolen
the sandwich. I couldn't work out where the sandwich was.
But it was on another issue of not making the
bed that I got done. So I had obviously gone downstairs.

Speaker 4 (03:52):
I had the sandwich in the hand and I put.

Speaker 2 (03:54):
It down and then I made the bed.

Speaker 3 (03:55):
So after half an hour of furiously looking for the
sandwich so i'd make sure I ate the sandwich, I
found the sandwich in my bed.

Speaker 4 (04:02):
And does Tracy know abouts I don't know. Well she
does now she will find out.

Speaker 3 (04:09):
But boy, that that was a really rough start today
losing that sandwich for I think I lost it for
thirty five forty minutes, and so who would have thought
that it'd end up in the bed?

Speaker 2 (04:17):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (04:18):
I mean I shouldn't laugh too much. I do that
quite often, not with sandwiches or food products, but just generally.
I lose a lot of stuff in the pity. Anyway,
on to the show today after three o'clock, we're going
to be talking about your dignity. Dignity no sorry, diamonds.

Speaker 3 (04:32):
Oh yes, right, okay, Yeah, So a woman found out
her partner, who earns three hundred and thirty thousand a year,
brought her an engagement ring on Timu. The ring cost
sixty five dollars and she's thinking about breaking up with them.
This is obviously the stream end of cheapness. But what
about lab grown diamond rings. Do you care if you
were given an engagement ring and it turned out to

(04:53):
be a real diet not to be a real diamond.
Greg Hollan told my costing this morning, you can't tell
the difference with the naked eye between a lab grown one,
so it looks exactly the same as just much cheaper.
So if you can't tell the difference, who can? Or
as an engagement ring in the cost a way of
showing your partner you already you're like, you're ready to

(05:15):
make the big sacrifice. So if you spend fifteen thousand
dollars in the engagement ring, it's a lot of money,
then it's not the way it looks. It's saying, look,
I care this much, I'm going to sacrifice this much money.

Speaker 2 (05:28):
I'm going to hurt our financial.

Speaker 3 (05:30):
Prospects this much by spending this much on a ring.
So if you if you gave someone an engagement ring
and didn't tell them it was a lab grown diamond
and they found out later, would that be a problem.

Speaker 4 (05:42):
You should Yeah, that's deceptive. You've got to tell them?

Speaker 2 (05:44):
Or should it not matter?

Speaker 3 (05:46):
And you should just be able to put a burger
ring around someone's finger and that's the thought that counts.

Speaker 2 (05:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (05:50):
Big questions, What was the old tradition that you as
a fella, if you're proposing you had to spend three
months of your salary on a ring. Was that the
old tradition.

Speaker 2 (06:00):
Was that three months, three months. Yeah, so engagement ring
that I bought. I think I spent three and a
half thousand dollars. Yeah, yeah, so it was that at
the time, about a week's wages.

Speaker 4 (06:11):
That's after three o'clock, after two o'clock. This is going
to be a good discussion. A fashion fundraiser for a
suicide Prevention Trust faces a last minute decision over the
selling of alcohol after authorities opposed its application to sell booze.
So A Tigo Polytechnic School of Fashion student, Tagan Rose
Vickery organized the fashion show, which focuses on includes fashion

(06:33):
as part of her honors research, and as part of
that fashion show, she got alongside Life Matter's Suicide Prevention
Trust to raise a bit of money for that charity.
Alongside the fashion show, she wanted to serve a bit
of booze at that charity event. Police have opposed that
on the grounds that it is not appropriate when you're

(06:53):
aligned with a charity like the Life Matters Suicide Prevention Trust.

Speaker 3 (06:58):
That to me, that seems like it's got absolutely nothing
to do with the police. They're making an assessment not
on the risks involved in serving alcohol, but a wider
moral question around alcohol and another issue entirely. And you
think if she's running a charity, she's doing a good thing.

Speaker 2 (07:15):
So it's to question her motives and to question her
what she's doing. She's doing a great thing.

Speaker 3 (07:22):
She's running a charity, she's doing a charity event, she's
celebrating her fashion, she's celebrating her success with people. She's
bringing people together. And the police are going to question
whether she can sell alcohol there and a wider question
on this, can you run any kind of charity without alcohol?

Speaker 4 (07:36):
Yeah, well, this is going to be a good discussion
after two o'clock and I'll get your thoughts on that.

Speaker 2 (07:41):
Very hard to get people to turn up to a charity.
And it's this Drenths involved.

Speaker 4 (07:44):
Because right now we want to talk about chronic school absence.
It's reached crisis point. That's according to the ER, a
substantial overhaul of the underfunded attendance system is needed. They
say so. This was a report published today. The office
said eighty thousand children were chronically absent in term two
this year, generally the worst of the four school terms
in terms of attendance. It said that meant one in

(08:07):
ten students more than thirty percent of class time that term,
that's double the figure ten years ago. Yees.

Speaker 3 (08:15):
So if you have kids that want to stay home
from school for any reason, as a parent, how do
you make them go?

Speaker 2 (08:21):
That's really the question.

Speaker 3 (08:22):
I mean, there's extremes in this issue, isn't there We
have there's with it, But there's extremes in issue and
people with major problems that can't go to school for
whatever reason. But every single parent has to deal with
kids that don't want to go to school.

Speaker 2 (08:35):
So how do you make them go to school?

Speaker 4 (08:36):
How did you make your kids go to school? I
take it wasn't really a problem.

Speaker 3 (08:40):
Well when they weren't being shut down by COVID restrictions
that went on for a long long time in Auckland,
and of course all.

Speaker 2 (08:46):
Kinds of problems.

Speaker 3 (08:47):
I've never really, it's never been a discussion that they
can't go. It was the same approach my parents had.
You have to go to school, there's no exceptions, you
couldn't not go. So they just went. We had a
zero talents on it. But I understand. I feel like
I've been quite lucky with my kids. There are a
certain type kid and they haven't had too many problems,
so they've been willing to go.

Speaker 4 (09:08):
But the consequence is outweighed for your kids. Clearly, if
they didn't go to school, then they'd face far greater
consequences than they would if they just turned up to
school and did what they needed to do for that
six hours.

Speaker 5 (09:19):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (09:19):
I just feel like we would never have allowed the
discussion to even begin that you can't go to one
of our kids has said I don't want to go
to school. You'd be like, well, that's not an option
that you have on the table.

Speaker 2 (09:30):
You have to go to you have to go to school.

Speaker 3 (09:32):
But I mean, what passes the threshold of a good
reason to stay at home if you're feeling anxious about
going to school. Yeah, because that was one of the
things that they were saying. A lot of children have
feel anxious about going to seel anxiety about going to school.
But I'd say that anxiety only grows if you don't
send them to school.

Speaker 4 (09:49):
What if one of your children was getting bullied, quite
severely bullied, and they said to your dad, I really
don't want to go to the school anymore because it's
hell for me and we need you know, I've got
to get out of here, and I don't want to
know what to do, and I'm terrified of going what
happens in that scenario. That's a tough scenario for a
parent to face.

Speaker 3 (10:06):
That's an incredibly tough scenario, absolutely, and I haven't faced that,
but I imagine that would make my.

Speaker 2 (10:12):
Blood absolutely boil.

Speaker 3 (10:14):
But I don't think keeping them home from school is
the way to solve it. I think they have to
go to school. But you have to work with the
school around the issue. But yeah, what is the threshold
for you? And how do you make your kids go
to school? O? One hundred and eighty ten eighty.

Speaker 4 (10:26):
Nine two ninety two is the text number. It is
a quarter pass one.

Speaker 1 (10:31):
The big stories, the big issues, the big trends, and
everything in between. That Heath and Tyler Adams afternoons you
for twenty twenty four US Talk said.

Speaker 4 (10:40):
Be good afternoon to you. It's eighteen pass one. How
do you get your kids to go to school? Have
you had trouble getting your kids to go to school
over the last couple of years. This is on the
back of a fresh look at the economic impact of
bunking school by the age of twenty. The ro claims
chronically absent students cost the state three times as much

(11:01):
as those going to school. So the last term, eighty
thousand students were chronically absent, missing three weeks worth of
of school. Greg, what's your take on this.

Speaker 6 (11:13):
I think it's not about the kid telling the adult
that they're not going to school. It's actually about the
adult telling the kids that they are going to school.
It's like you gave an example where maybe a kid's
being bullied, Well, that's probably the exception to the rule,
and the greater percentage of the ones who are skipping

(11:37):
school or just skipping because they have no no boundaries
or no discipline in the household.

Speaker 3 (11:45):
Greg, what would the threshold for you? What what would
be the threshold for not going to school? What would
be something that you would allow a kid not go
to school if they're if they're sick, how sick?

Speaker 6 (12:01):
Not just a mild cough or maybe even a decent
way of the flu. But as a parent, you know
when your child's sick, and you know sort of like,
well I think you can go, but if it gets
if it gets worse during the day, let the school
ring me tell me, because the school will also have

(12:23):
an idea how sick kid is. You know, if the
kids got diarrhea and whooping cough or water or you
don't send them, but that's not you know, in this situation.

Speaker 4 (12:34):
Would you would you allow the occasional sicky for any
of your kids. I'm not talking you know, being sick
every week, but you know, once once or two maybe
they say I'm feeling a bit sick there. But you
know they're not sick. They just don't want to go
to school for whatever reason. And you think, you know what,
you can have your we mental health day to day.

Speaker 7 (12:53):
Yeah, well.

Speaker 6 (12:55):
I sort of think that, yeah, there is a possibility
of doing that. My son has never had a sick
day because he hasn't been sick, but a workplace you
have a mental health day. So if you're sort of thinking, yeah,
he's probably a bit overall by let's say exams coming

(13:15):
up and he's stressing, and then you make the call
and say, yeah, okay, well this is an exception to
the rule. You can take the day off. But you
know this is a one off. You know, you said
you set boundaries to them to say, well, okay, I
understand how you're feeling blardie, bloody blah, work through a

(13:37):
few things with them and yeah, work from there.

Speaker 3 (13:43):
It's an interesting one though, because do they then tell
the school. Do you tell the school the truth that
I've got my kid at home because they're feeling a
little bit apprehensive about going to school.

Speaker 2 (13:53):
Because the other issue is if you get your kids.

Speaker 3 (13:55):
To lie or you're saying that you're going to lie
to the school, then you open up a whole can
of worms of dishonesty. And I know with my kids,
we have one hundred percent honesty rule that you no
matter what, you have to have to tell the truth.

Speaker 2 (14:08):
No white lies at all.

Speaker 6 (14:11):
If you are telling the truth, and you're telling the
truth in that instant that the kids, you know, help
men off day it doesn't happen. It's it's either the
first time it's happened, or maybe maybe two times in
a school year it's happened. But this is not what
we're talking about. We're talking about kids who don't go
to school for a week.

Speaker 3 (14:33):
Yeah, yeah, I guess, I mean that's what the that's
what the stats are talking about. But what we're talking
about is every single parent has that situation. Their kid
may not be chronically absent or truant, but they but
every single parent has that day when their kid is
either pretending they don't want to go to school or
or doesn't want to go to school, pretending their circle

(14:54):
doesn't want to go to school.

Speaker 2 (14:55):
How do you deal with that? Because every parent has
to face that.

Speaker 6 (14:59):
Okay, well that's you just said every parent has that situation.
I've never had that situation occur, so you know there
are there are some where it never never comes up
about having an off day or something.

Speaker 4 (15:14):
Clearly, I mean, I can tell you're a really great dad, Greg,
But what I can't completely get my head around is, yes,
I think discipline is part of this why kids aren't
going to school as much as they used to, but
clearly there's other reasons that play here. And when I
was going to school, sometimes I didn't want to go,
but more often than not, I enjoyed going because my
friends were there. And yes, some classes I didn't like,

(15:36):
but I was there because I needed to be. But overall,
I enjoyed going to school. And clearly a lot of
kids do not enjoy going anymore, and I can't understand
what the major reasons are for not enjoying being in
that environment. Have you got any thoughts about why kids
just don't like school anymore.

Speaker 6 (15:54):
Greg, Well, I think things have changed an awful lot
since you went to school, Tyler.

Speaker 4 (15:59):
Or I went to school, very true.

Speaker 6 (16:02):
And there's a lot of different let's call it pressure.
Maybe had pressures. I mean when I went to school,
you know, we had we had bullies. There wasn't a
probably heck of a lot more than that. But you
used to go to school sometimes just to play sport.

(16:24):
Maybe those things aren't available to kids. And it's like
there's certain things that are available and are n't available
now to what there was before. But I went I
went to school because I was told I need to
go to school.

Speaker 2 (16:40):
There was the same thing.

Speaker 3 (16:41):
There's definitely still bullies around that, that's for sure. I
think bullying is a lot less than it used to be.
But I wonder when I was a kid, if I
said I don't think I want to go to school,
my parents would just go, You're going to school.

Speaker 2 (16:54):
There was never any any quick questions you're going.

Speaker 4 (16:57):
And then by the time you got there, you might
be a bit grumpy, but then you get to lunch
time and your friends around you, and you feel Also,
it was so.

Speaker 3 (17:05):
Boring to start home because I didn't have much to
do it home, not now, I mean at home if
you've got the internet, I mean, if your kids don't
go to school, you've got to turn off the You've
got to turn off the Wi Fi.

Speaker 2 (17:15):
You've got to take the phone off the kids.

Speaker 6 (17:19):
The kids aren't at home, they're on the streets, they're
hooking up to Wi Fi and all around the place,
you know, and then by the time they get home,
you know, the school might have rung the parents and says, well,
little Johnny didn't come to school today. Why, yeah, I'm sorry,
I didn't know who wasn't at school.

Speaker 4 (17:35):
Yeah, Greg, thank you very much for kicking us off.
Great caller. Oh eight one hundred and eighty ten eighty
is the number to call. Have you had a problem
getting your child to school over the last couple of years.

Speaker 3 (17:45):
I know people that have an argument every morning with
their kids to go to school, full on arguments.

Speaker 2 (17:51):
And kids are very very powerful kids.

Speaker 4 (17:55):
Oh yeah, how long are those kids?

Speaker 8 (17:56):
Are?

Speaker 4 (17:57):
Sorry to jump in there, Well.

Speaker 3 (17:59):
You know, I've got a number of friends in the
situation of all different ages where they go into a
full battle with their kids every time every morning to
go to school. I didn't have that so I feel
and I don't know if that was good parenting or
just good luck. I mean, I think it's probably a
combination of the both.

Speaker 4 (18:13):
The reason I asked that is by the time they
get to say fifteen, certainly by sixteen at their point,
if you're having that argument day in and day out,
then do you sit down with your child and say, clearly,
school is not for you. You can go and do
go to polytech, you can go and start a trade,
do something else, but if school's not for you, you've
got to.

Speaker 2 (18:30):
Make that call. Yeah, I mean, I think I think
that would be wise.

Speaker 4 (18:32):
It is twenty five past one, be very shortly. I'd
love to hear from you. Oh, eight hundred and eighty
ten eighty if you're a parent who has struggled to
get their child to school over the last two years,
really love to hear from you. Nine two nine two
is the text number.

Speaker 1 (18:46):
Putting the tough questions to the newspeakers, the mic asking breakfast.

Speaker 5 (18:50):
And the eer.

Speaker 9 (18:50):
The Education Review Office claims chronically absent students cost the
state three times as much as those going to school.
The head of Bro's Education Evaluation Center, Ruth schnodis back
well there's you depressed about this.

Speaker 10 (19:00):
Very we think we've got a chmic absence crisis, and
I bought the number of students are chronic absence in
the last decade and actually nearly trickled in primary school.

Speaker 9 (19:08):
Do you explain them?

Speaker 5 (19:09):
So, as soon as we talked to you said, there's.

Speaker 10 (19:10):
A range of factors. The wholes them said their mental
health and issues, but being buried at school or not
feeling stayed at schools and issues well, things going in
their family lives, for example, moving around a lot. But
what we do know is the support we've got in
place to respond to this is just not adequate and
isn't adequately resourced.

Speaker 9 (19:25):
Back tomorrow at six am, the mic asking, Breakfast with Babies,
Real Estate News Talk zb.

Speaker 4 (19:31):
News Talk zib It's News Talk ZEDB. It's twenty eight
past one and we are talking about chronic absences in school.
The ro is very concerned about it. In the last
or term, two eighty thousand kids were regularly not attending school.
So really keen to hear your experiences as a parent,

(19:51):
as a grandparent when you're at school, How did your
parents keep you to turn up on a regular basis?

Speaker 3 (19:57):
Amelia you've got two kids at school, what are your
thoughts on getting them to go?

Speaker 11 (20:02):
Oh, Cura, guys, thinks for opening up this conversation, I
think it's a really good one to be having. I
haven't really had a lot of experience with my kids
not wanting to go. But of course there's the occasional
sort of like I've got to saw tummy, and you're
sort of risking, like do you not believe them in
or some puking everywhere or send them in hope for

(20:22):
the best. And I did have an occasion where my
oldest child convinced me she was unwell in the morning,
only to confess later on in the day that she
actually had lied about feeling unwell. And I kind of
was a bit worried about what to do about this,
obviously not wanting to create a pattern of this kind
of behavior and it might be really mean. But I

(20:44):
actually messaged the principle and I said, look, this is
a situation shed to me about being sack and I'd
really like her to come and explain herself to you,
which felt quite full on for a six year old,
But at the same time, it's like you just want
to nip it in the bud and the principle was fantastic,
made it really easy for her to be honest about it,
and to this day we definitely not had another problem

(21:07):
like that. Again, you know, he wasn't He did the
exact right things and kind of understood the situation. And
I think it was a really good way of teaching
your accountability because you know, if the kids are lying
and then you're lying on their behalf, I you know,
they need to understand that that's not good for you
as a parent either. And so yeah, I think that

(21:27):
that was that she worked out quite well.

Speaker 3 (21:30):
Meanly, that's you sound like a great a great mum
gratulations on that. I think that telling the truth is
a really really important thing. And I think as soon
as you if your child ever sees you lying on
their behalf for the school, or you tell your kid
that they go to school and say that this was
the issue when it was not the issue, then I
think that's the worst. That's one of the worst things

(21:50):
you can do, because then you set up a thing
where they can lie to you, they can lie to
the school, and then they don't necessarily trust you going forward.

Speaker 2 (21:58):
And it's at it amazing because you only need to
do a.

Speaker 3 (22:00):
Couple of things like that, A couple of really, which
as you said, is quite would have been quite full
on and imagine quite hard for you to do that
talking to the princip Yeah, but that kind of action
it has doesn't take that many times. I mean, there's
kids that have serious problems and it might take some more,
but for most kids, it doesn't take too many of

(22:20):
those those times when you do something like that to
really make a change in the way they see the world.

Speaker 11 (22:27):
Absolutely, And you know, like she was mortified that she
had to do that, even if she really was fair
votes you know, she was so up there. But she
still talks about it now and han't made us feel
and I think we always kind of drill into her. Look,
everybody makes mistakes, everybody makes a bad call. What makes
you the person who are is what you then do

(22:47):
once you've made a mistake. Do you own up to it,
do you own it? Do you take accountability? And that's
actually the things that are in your control. But Mummy
makes mistakes that he makes it. Everyone is going to
stuff up at some point, But it's how you address
it afterwards that truly is kiss the person you know
what I mean, And so that was kind of the

(23:07):
idea behind it as well, like, yeah, you made a mistake,
but that's not the worst part. The worst part would
be to continue to lie or you know, And so
that's what a lot about that. But also, you know,
as you say, so often kids like after a holiday,
you don't want to go back, but as soon as
you're there for like ten minutes, you remember that, hey,
it's actually great and good fun and things like that.

(23:29):
And in terms of the bullying thing, well, you know,
that's the problem that needs to be owned by the
school as much as the parent. And so as you
were saying, I totally agree that, you know, you really
need to the school needs to take some accountability for
not creating a safe space to your kids to be.
And if that's truly a problem, that's nothing that's going
to be sold between the parent and the child anyway.

(23:50):
That's a kind of much more of a holistic, a
holistic you needs to be taken on things likes to
be a bullying of that nature.

Speaker 3 (23:56):
Oh yeah, I mean, the world gets the worse place
if we take our kids out of school and hide
them from bullies as opposed to confronting the issue of
the bully head on. And as complex as that issue is,
and it's very very complex, And if you're a parent
and your kids being bullied, then to keep your cool
whund that situation is very, very very difficult. But yeah,
consistency is a really important thing I think with parenting.

(24:19):
And as she I'll tell a story and it might
see trivial. I'll tell it next. It might seem trivial,
but it's a piece of parenting that I slapped myself
on the back for getting right. I've got a lot
of things wrong, but there's one thing I got really right.

Speaker 4 (24:30):
Okay, very good, Emelia, thank you very much. As Matt said,
you're a great mum, and good on the principle as well.
You know that makes a big difference bringing the principal
on board and seem very caring and understanding too a
certain extent. We're going to carry you this on very shortly.
It is twenty six minutes to do. You're listening to
Matt and Tyler. Good afternoon to you.

Speaker 12 (24:50):
Jus talk said be headlines with blue bubble taxis it's
no trouble with a blue bubble. The government is prioritizing
survivors of abuse at Lake Alice Hospital as it looks
to correct historic wrongs. The Crown says that will reimburse
survivors for legal fees and curd fighting for justice, and
it's considering redress for the torture, a suggestion insurers will

(25:12):
need convincing to cover self certified work under proposed changes
to building consents. The proposal will let qualified tradespeople use
self certification on low risk bills and could offer streamline
consenting for businesses with a track record for big projects.
The Secondary Teachers Union says schools desperately need support with
chronic absence and the government shouldn't be funding charter schools

(25:35):
when this issues. Crying out for adequate funding Young labors
urging the government to bar far right US speaker Candice
Owens from entering the country, saying she is divisive and
represents hate speech. A thirty point two million dollar Lotter
prize on a ticket bought at Auckland's Albany Central Superrette
still hasn't been claimed. I did get bored during lockdown.

(25:58):
Man convicted of illegal tree felling. You can find out
more at Enzen Herald Premium now back to matt Ethan
Tyler Adams.

Speaker 4 (26:05):
Thank you very much. Raylene Henry, how are you the
safer tonight?

Speaker 13 (26:09):
Okay, Tyler hate Man, Yeah, not too, bey mate. You know,
my kids they all kind of enjoyed school. They went
to school through the eighty and so my boys they
all went to a boys' school and my daughter went
to a girls school. But yeah, they kind of like
you know, rugby and then three days a week they
got to go to the girls school and do cooking
and stuff, and you know, they weren't really they all

(26:29):
went to sixth form, so.

Speaker 7 (26:31):
They were right.

Speaker 13 (26:32):
But today I just wanted to say, so where I
live in a small kind of city in the North Island,
and so I'm retired and I go running most days.
But there's this high school and across the road from
as the park in the stadium, and most days of
the week you can go down there and there's like
ten fifteen college kids and they were all out there

(26:53):
and they're just smoking weed, you know, they're just the
school can't see them. And I'll ring the school and
the lady you know at the death said, oh yeah,
you know, we get a lot of complaints, but there's
nothing we can do. So you know, kids are going
to school, but they're still bunking at school anyway.

Speaker 3 (27:09):
Yeah, and the schools don't necessarily have the resources to
do anything about it because you.

Speaker 13 (27:15):
Know, these kids, some of them were on the roof
and like you know, if you're appearing and you come
home and the school ring and say, oh, your kild
fell off the roof and what was he doing over there?

Speaker 4 (27:25):
It's a tough one though, isn't it, Henry. And you
know a lot people will will back at me saying
I'm being a bit woke here, But to me, it
is a wide community issue that to solve the issue
for some of these kids, you need everybody on boards.
You need the families, you need the schools, you need
the wider community. There are families out there that need
genuine help to make sure the kid keeps going to school.

(27:47):
And if they're not going to school, go out and
make something of themselves in this life, get a trade,
go to polytech, whatever it is. So it's not as
simple for everyone out there that hey, just get some
discipline and make sure your kid goes to school. For
some families, I get it, it's not that simple. They've
got a real problem on their hands trying to get
their kids to go to school.

Speaker 3 (28:05):
Sometimes that's the extreme end of it. But what I'm
saying is every parent, no matter whether they've got difficulties
or don't have difficulties or whatever the situation, every parent
has to have the battle at some point. Yeah, Greg
grand before and said he never had the battle, but
you have to address it even if you don't have
any problems at some point making your kids go to

(28:26):
school and getting the things right.

Speaker 2 (28:27):
I was talking before about a.

Speaker 3 (28:30):
Piece of fantastic parenting by me that I wanted to
show off about. But we don't have time for it now,
do we.

Speaker 4 (28:35):
Well, we're going to do it very shortly. Henry, thank
you very much for me. You made a good point.

Speaker 2 (28:39):
We don't even have to punish people with my story
about myself to take it over.

Speaker 4 (28:44):
It's coming up, mate, it's coming up. You just you wait,
you wait your turn.

Speaker 2 (28:47):
People are on tenderhoks for me to talk about what
a great parent, how are you?

Speaker 14 (28:53):
I'm going to cause a lot of issues to everybody. Oh,
I've been in the education system and I make a
teacher of movie, so I don't teach. I teach a tool.
Now I'm not at schools. I've got a primary and
a secondary teacher in the family, one of them thinking

(29:15):
of believing the other ones getting to a stage where
it's just too much. People can think of say everything
they like. But there is nothing wrong with the schools.
The teacher's been over backwards. If you knew all the

(29:35):
rules about the students, they just don't want to go
to school full strap, they had COVID. They don't want
to get out of their bedroom, and they don't want
to get on a bus, and they actually don't want
to sit to school and learn. And it's all right
to say this, to say that, to go on and on.
No mother can put a six foot forkid in her

(29:58):
car and say get to school. It's a chronic problem. Yeah,
but you got now I'm saying it from the cold phrase.

Speaker 2 (30:13):
Yeah, yeah, I mean that's that's true.

Speaker 3 (30:15):
And by the time the kids six foot four, then
that might be getting a little bit late in terms
of your influence on the on the child. It's probably
better to get them when they're five foot if you can,
if you can instill in them what you expect of them.
But yeah, I'm not saying it's easy and when it
comes to parenting, I think you can be lucky as

(30:35):
well that your kids for whatever reason, as much as
as you're amazing parenting, but you can also be lucky
that they happen to enjoy school or the right things
happen at school for them that they want to go
along as well. You've got there's a lot of luck
in it as well.

Speaker 4 (30:50):
But it's just quickly, isn't there part of childhood is
that as a child, let me, let me just finish
what I was going to say and then I'll get
your response as a child. As a child, isn't it
important that you have to acknowledge or learn that sometimes
you do things you don't want to do, but you
do those things because it's going to be beneficial for

(31:11):
you in the long run.

Speaker 14 (31:13):
Well, yes, I agree you, But who's going to show
them that?

Speaker 4 (31:17):
You don't think there's people within the school system to
do that anymore.

Speaker 14 (31:21):
It's nothing to do with the school system. There's nothing
wrong with the schools. If you knew the rules of
the school, what's the students and you knew them, and
you knew the jurisdiction they're under of treating these students
in absolutely brilliant therapeutic manner. I hate to tell you

(31:49):
that it has nothing to do with the teachers.

Speaker 6 (31:52):
Or the school.

Speaker 4 (31:53):
Right, well, let's thank you very much, really appreciate you
calling in. Tea's coming through one nine two nine two.
I'm going to get to a couple of those very shortly.
It is seventeen minutes to two.

Speaker 1 (32:04):
Mattie Tyler Adams with you as your afternoon rolls are
Taylor Adams afternoons.

Speaker 4 (32:10):
US talk said, be very good afternoon to year. It's
fourteen to two.

Speaker 3 (32:14):
We're talking about the truancy rates in New Zealand and
they're not good. But even at the extremes, you know, sorry,
at the extremes, it's very hard to deal with. But
even even just every day people with kids that are
generally pretty good still have to deal with getting them
to school every day. And I just want to talk
about a great piece of parenting that I did here.

Speaker 4 (32:34):
We get it.

Speaker 3 (32:35):
It's a great piece of parenting and it's not about truancy,
but it's about what I believe. And this is because
the mother and children made me watch one episode of
Super Nanni before our kids came out.

Speaker 4 (32:43):
It was great, It really really helped. She was tough.

Speaker 2 (32:46):
It really helped.

Speaker 3 (32:46):
And what it was, if you're going to say something,
if you're going to make a threat, then you follow
through with it. You don't get into negotiations. And we
had this thing. We took kids to the movies, and
you take them to the movies. This is when one
of my kids was four and one was six. Talk
them to the movies, jumping up and down the seats,
running around, talking in the movies. And we said, if
you don't sit down and be quiet and watch the movie,

(33:08):
then we leave the movie. And then this was at
I sage four, and so this was at the start
of the movie.

Speaker 2 (33:16):
Kids didn't do it. They were jumping around, and we
just grabbed them and left the movie.

Speaker 4 (33:19):
First morning, not even even three strikes as straight away.

Speaker 3 (33:22):
That's how we operated. No strikes, We say something, and
we and we did it. And it was painful because
I wanted to watch the movie and so I was
walking out.

Speaker 4 (33:29):
It was a good movie.

Speaker 2 (33:30):
But the kids still talk about it to this day.
They knew at that point, they knew that we were serious.
We were serious.

Speaker 3 (33:36):
We would walk out of a movie and and the
popcorn would be thrown in the bin on the way
out and you wouldn't get anything gone home.

Speaker 4 (33:41):
Oh you didn't even take the popcorn was thrown out
and super Nanny Heath, who would have thought.

Speaker 3 (33:46):
The the no sugar coat was heffed in the rubbish
were on the way home.

Speaker 4 (33:51):
Get a Jeff here, good mate.

Speaker 15 (33:54):
I was trying to say, was the beginning. I didn't
have a problem about getting my two boys to school.

Speaker 4 (34:01):
Yep.

Speaker 15 (34:01):
Now when it come to school morning, clothes were laid out,
lunch is how to beid you guys, you're going to school.
That's an end of story.

Speaker 4 (34:14):
Easy.

Speaker 15 (34:14):
So I was reasonably forced for about that. The problem
in my head that I did a care within the
school was my eldest boy was getting bollied now, so
I thought, right, I'm going to go up the school
and I had to talk to this for the headmaster

(34:35):
or the guy in charge of the school, and I said, hey,
my son loved school, but he's very reluctant to go
at the moment because he's getting bollied. Now, what are
we going to do about it? So I said to him,
I'm not going to tolerate this. You do something about it,

(34:56):
or leering the Minister of Education and we'll see what
they can do about it.

Speaker 4 (35:01):
And you got some resolution on that pretty fast yet.

Speaker 15 (35:05):
Yeah, I got onto it fast because I'm not going
to put up with that. I was I was never
bullied because, believe you me, the bullies then and my
days got bullied.

Speaker 13 (35:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (35:17):
Well, good on you, Jeff is standing up for your boy.

Speaker 3 (35:19):
And you've definitely if there's bullying at school, keeping your
kids out of school is not the answer. Going to
the school and dealing with it and getting the school
to deal with the bullies. And schools are generally pretty
good with this kind of stuff if you if you
approach them and talk to them about it.

Speaker 4 (35:31):
Yeah, thank you very much. Chief kid a Jared, Yeah, yeah,
very well. What's your take on this one?

Speaker 16 (35:39):
I just want to just treet me upon wrong because
I was the sort of hooked me into phony. So
was her stance that the schools essentially aren't at fault
and we shouldn't be looking to them for blame.

Speaker 17 (35:52):
Is that right?

Speaker 5 (35:53):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (35:54):
She was pretty much saying that that the schools were
doing doing things right and it was just the kids
that were uncontrollable and we're just doing what they wanted
to do.

Speaker 16 (36:03):
Yeah, I thought it was obviously being on hold and
miss of it, but that got up my go and
hawk vans. I have two daughters, one seventeen finishing school
last day today and one is sixteen and love school,
and they both go to different schools. So my oldest
daughter has been a little bit hit and miss around

(36:27):
attending school. And you know, I certainly had some of
the conversations with her and her little sister at times,
and so I sort of made it a rule as well,
you know, yes, you might be sick, but you have
to turn up and if you can basically convince the
nurse that you're sick and they phone me, then you
can come home instead of you know, no worries, you

(36:47):
can stay home. So I've been through that stuff. But
my my oldest daughter was, I mean essentially truant at
least once a week, every single week this year. And
I just got sick of the automated email from the
school saying, please you know your child has been sick

(37:07):
for or being marched, true, and please send an explanation.
And I never did because I never had an explanation.
Was why aren't you at school?

Speaker 17 (37:15):
And oh no, I was.

Speaker 16 (37:16):
They must have missed me in class and excuse after excuse,
and they got to the point with the emails where
I emailed this went back and said, you know, essentially,
after receiving one of these every single week, when does
the school take it upon itself to enforce some form
of discipline process. And they were very quick to come

(37:37):
back to me to say, oh, oh yeah, and then
so they gave her a detention. And I thought, I'd like, excellent,
but you know, this is on the back of me
asking them and for some form of discipline. So they
gave the attention that she never turned up to and
consequently just the detention went by to bye. And now

(37:59):
she had some one day excursions and other trips coming
up through school, where very matter of fact in the
policy it said char must have eighty attendance to go
to these or you just won't be going. And I thought, fantastic,
But once I raise that with the school, it was
a little bit flip and it was a yes, but oh,

(38:21):
she seems to be doing well. Anyway, The truancy continued
on and on. I sort of raised it again. The
truancy after the automated emails back with the school, finally
had a meeting with the dean and she said, Okay, Look,
if she comes and doesn't after school, principal's detention will

(38:43):
quite the slate clean. But she has to be one
hundred percent truant, sorry, one hundred percent attendance, or she
won't be coming on this week long trip for one
of her classes that she was looking forward to. Fantastic. Well,
short story short as she was true and exactly the
same her attendant as well, below eighty percent and was
still allowed to go on the trip.

Speaker 3 (39:04):
Oh true, Yeah, yeah, you don't make a threat. You've
got to follow with it.

Speaker 4 (39:08):
Yeah, Jared, Sorry, mate, We've got some messages coming up.
I wish we could carry on, but we have to fly.
It is seven minutes to two bag fore.

Speaker 1 (39:17):
Shortly Matteeth, Tylor Adams teaking your calls on eight Eth
and Tyler Adams Afternoons News Talk ZEDB.

Speaker 4 (39:29):
News Talk z B. Almost at the end of this
discussion because we've got something else after two o'clock quick text.

Speaker 6 (39:35):
Here.

Speaker 4 (39:35):
Kids are struggling more with learning issues. This is not
an environmental issue, not a genetic genetic issue either. We've
got a real problem and it will take a lot
of people to try and solve this one.

Speaker 3 (39:45):
I think an interesting thing people saying that a lot
of kids aren't going to school because they're anxious. And
I wrote about this in my book Are Life Less Punishing,
and it talks about anxiety. And essentially, you've got a
part of your brain on their middler, which is the
primitive part of your brain, and that'll send things like anxiety.

Speaker 2 (39:59):
It's fight and flight, et cetera.

Speaker 3 (40:02):
Yeah, and if you don't go to school, then that
proves to that part of the brain that you are right.

Speaker 2 (40:07):
Not going to school because you didn't die.

Speaker 3 (40:09):
And essentially, every time your kid doesn't go to school
because they're anxious, the anxiety about going to school will grow.
So it doesn't make them less anxious by not sending
them to school.

Speaker 4 (40:18):
You got to face that. So to deal with that
anxiety and support around you, your parents, the principal, teachers,
or helps.

Speaker 2 (40:25):
What ever happens. You have to face your fears, whatever
age you are in life.

Speaker 4 (40:29):
Yeah, good discussion. Thank you very much for all your
phone calls and texts. Something new on the table after
two o'clock an issue with charities and booze. We'll get
to that very shortly. Great to have your company.

Speaker 5 (40:42):
Talking with you all afternoon.

Speaker 1 (40:44):
It's Matt Heathen Taylor Adams Afternoons new for twenty twenty
four news Talk ZIB.

Speaker 4 (40:50):
Very good afternoon to you. Welcome back into the show.
Matt and Tyler with you until four pm.

Speaker 2 (40:56):
Feeling very good. I just ate my sandwich, sich. It
was a chicken and avocado sandwich, nice, very very healthy.

Speaker 3 (41:03):
And as I said before, I briefly lost it this morning.
It was made for me with love, and then I
lost it. And if sandwich has been made for you,
you've got to eat it. Someone making a sandwich for you,
you're not eating it. It's a gesture of love if
you don't eat it. But I lost it in my
bed for a while this morning. Brought it downstairs, lost
in my bed. So glad I found it. I would
have been so gudded if I hadn't eaten that sandwich.

Speaker 4 (41:22):
What did Tracy say? Tracy made it for you, your
lovely partner, and you mentioned that you almost lost her
sandwich that she made with love. She said in care.

Speaker 2 (41:30):
This is what she said. Only you could lose a
sandwich in a bed.

Speaker 4 (41:34):
I like Tracy, Tracy says, I like sort a person
a right, good chat. Last hour. We are going to
change it up over the next hour or so. We
want to talk about boos at charity events. This is
on the back of a fashion fundraiser for a suicide
prevention trust. It faces a last minute decision over the
selling of alcohol after authority has opposed its application. So
this is a Tigo Polytechnic School of Fashion student Teagan

(41:57):
Rose Vickary. She organized the fashion show, which focuses on
inclusive fashion as part of her honors research. But last
month Vickory sent a special liquor license for a charity
fashion event at Dunedin's Wall Street Mall. This was in
conjunction with the Life Mattered Suicide Prevention Trust. That application
led to opposition by police and the Licensing Inspector, with

(42:19):
both noting the link between alcohol and suicide and that
the granting of the license would be contrary to the
Sale in supply of the Alcohol Act. So that has
been very controversial for that organizer and also the decision
of the police. But we want to transition it slightly
to can you run a successful charity event without selling alcohol?

Speaker 3 (42:41):
Yeah, just before we move on from the show, I'll
just say that seems like overreach from the police. That's
a decision that she makes. You work on the safety
of the event, the over arching implications of someone who
is actually doing something very good. And she's had her
struggles with mental health as well, and she talks about
that in Bolimia, and she wanted to do something positive
and she wanted to have a few drinks that were
very respectful about the how it was going to be run.

(43:03):
We're not talking about a massive binge drinking session. It
was a few drinks where people watch a fashion show.
It was a very positive thing. So for the authorities
to come in question that just seems a massive over
each from me. But the wider issue, as you point out,
is charity events and alcohol. I think it is very
hard to run a charity event without alcohol because look,

(43:27):
you're trying to do something good and you want to
get people along and people want to have a good
time and they have a lot of opportunities of things
that they can do. And New Zealand is like, a
drink doesn't mean that they're bad people. It doesn't mean
that they're going to be outrageously badly behaved, but they
want to come along and have a drink.

Speaker 2 (43:44):
I recently m.

Speaker 3 (43:45):
Seed a major charity event in christ Church and there
was drinking there and it was for male mental health.
And you could say, look, male mental health is affected
by alcohol in some ways, but not getting out and
spending time with other people is also affected by also
affects mental health. And this was an incredibly positive event,

(44:07):
a massive event in a rugby league club and it
was nothing but positive and there was our coho involved.
But I can get you guaranteed right now there would
have been a ghost town if if there hadn't been
drinks there, and we wouldn't have raised nearly as much
money as we did for a really really good course.

Speaker 4 (44:23):
But for that charity in particular. That's an interesting one
that men's mental health, and a big part of me
says that it's real hard to get men to open up.
And if you need to get them around a pint
of beer to get them to start to talk and
open up and what's going right in their life and
wrong in their life, then so be it whether or

(44:44):
not alcohol is an effect on mental health. To me,
it is more beneficial to get those guys opening up
around a pint of beer. But then when you link
this particular charity event, a fashion event and the Life
Matters Suicide Prevention Trust. Yeah, if they're not being drinking,
I still don't see a problem there. I think it's

(45:06):
the responsible nature of having a couple of d them.

Speaker 3 (45:09):
We're not drinking, they've beinge drinking is a totally different issue.
They don't know that they're going to be binge drinking.
So read out exactly what the.

Speaker 4 (45:17):
Quote from the police officer. So the applicant raise to
the committee that the show was not about the sale
and profit of alcohol, but to raise awarness for mental
health and shining a light on a group of people
who were doing amazing work and allowing them another platform
to stand on. So Vickery, who acknowledged her own mental health,
offered to remove the trust name. She also noted all

(45:38):
profits would be going to the Life Mattered Suicide Prevention Trust.
The inspector noted the high quality of the application, but
said the intent of this event should be commended. However,
it is unclear why alcohol needs to be a part
of this event at all, and the message including alcohol
at such an event sends to the wider community.

Speaker 2 (45:58):
Get out. Get out With that comment, why does ol
colg above. That's got absolutely nothing to do with you.

Speaker 3 (46:04):
Whether you decide why alcohol has been evolved, you decide
around the issues around safety or policing matters, not the
wider implications of a small amount of bubbles being served
at a fashion event. But anyway, I'm getting down that
and didn't have the wrong path. I didn't want to
go down.

Speaker 5 (46:20):
Well.

Speaker 4 (46:20):
I think we can both agree. If it's a nighttime
a vent in your after donors for a particular charity
and most of the people coming to your vent to
adults and you're serving booze, I've got no problem with that.
But would you say the same for say a school fear.

Speaker 3 (46:35):
Yes, there should be boozs at school fears. In fact,
I was involved in school fear where they banned alcohol,
and there was another school and I was doing various
things there, and the auctions used to go very very
well and make a lot of money for school and
buy a lot of sports equipment when there was boos involved,
and people came along and they had a great day,
and then they they'd go loose at the auction. And

(46:57):
there was another school nearby that didn't get rid of
they didn't put an alcohol ban on the school fear
for the adults. It's obviously only you're given to not
having primary school kids alcohol. But there was another one
that was nearby and they'd have Dave Dobbin playing that
were making it to take CareLine X that we're making
so much more money than the school we're at, and

(47:18):
as a charity at school FAE accounts as a charity
as well, you're trying to make money for your course.

Speaker 2 (47:24):
And I'd like to.

Speaker 3 (47:25):
Hear people that have had successful charity and run charities
and run events and have alcohol there and is it
a positive situation for your charity? Is that is that
is having alcohol at a charity event somehow morally wrong?

Speaker 2 (47:41):
I don't think so.

Speaker 3 (47:42):
I mean I was involved in a bell cancer charity
thing recently and there was there was booze at it
and we raised a lot of money. So I'd like
to hear from people on eight hundred and eighty ten
eighty who have run charity events at night without booze
and how successful they've been, and from people that have
run them with booze and how successful they've been.

Speaker 4 (48:02):
Okay, this is going to be good. Oh, eight hundred
eighty ten eighty is a number.

Speaker 18 (48:05):
To call.

Speaker 4 (48:05):
Nine two ninety two is a text number. Can you
run a successful charity event without alcohol? Love to hear
from you. It is fourteen bars two.

Speaker 1 (48:15):
Your new home of Afternoon Talk and even Tyler Adams
Afternoon Call. Oh eight hundred eighty ten eighty News Talk
said be.

Speaker 4 (48:24):
Good afternoon to you at seventeen pass two. Do you
need alcohol to run a successful charity event? That's the
question we're asking on the back of a fundraiser in Dunedin.
It had teamed up with the Life Mattered Suicide Prevention Trust.
They wanted to apply for an alcohol license to serve
some alcohol to the guests at this event, but that
has been opposed by the police in Dnedan. So love

(48:46):
to hear from you. If you've run a charity event
and you did not booze at that event, Love to
hear from you.

Speaker 2 (48:53):
One hundred and eighteen eighty.

Speaker 3 (48:54):
I mean the question is is the perceived damage of
alcohol worse than the good that has been done for
your charity? I would say, generally speaking, not considering most
people would have gone to a bar and selected something else,
or had come a bottle of wine at home.

Speaker 4 (49:07):
Anyway, this sticks is a good one booze. You don't
need running shoes to run, do you, but they certainly help.

Speaker 2 (49:14):
I guess that's something of what I'm trying to say.

Speaker 4 (49:16):
Mike likes that as well. Get a Mike.

Speaker 19 (49:19):
Yeah, yeah, good.

Speaker 7 (49:22):
Sorry not to do with charities, but a number of
years ago, when I was a car dealer, you used
to go to car auctions for dealers only and the
cards would self or whatever price. But we came up
to Christmas one year and one of the importers turned
around and laid it on boo booze everywhere. They were
the highest priced cars in the country.

Speaker 3 (49:46):
Well, as someone that's run charity auctions, I'll tell you what.
You run them at the end of the night.

Speaker 4 (49:50):
Yeah, it waits all nice early after people have had.

Speaker 3 (49:55):
Then, and then suddenly people find us a little bit
more money to donate to something that they may or
may not want.

Speaker 4 (50:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (50:05):
Well, there was a generosity people talk about. You know,
there's definitely, obviously, no doubt, terrible sides of alcohol, but
there is also a generosity that appears in certain people
when they've had a.

Speaker 2 (50:15):
Couple of drinks.

Speaker 4 (50:17):
Hypothetical for you, Mike, say, there is there's an event
being run and it's by a charity that you really support.
We don't have to name names here. And then you
look at the flyer and you say to your wife, Hey,
that will be a nice night. Will go along, And
then you find out it's a dry event, no booze
is being served. Would you still go?

Speaker 7 (50:38):
Possibly? But not one hundred percent of a guarantee.

Speaker 4 (50:41):
The hesitation is all I needed, Mike. I think I
got my answer there, and no fear enough too, And
a lot of people would agree. You know, a lot
of people would would say that.

Speaker 3 (50:48):
Any I say, you're not putting restrictions on people that
are just selling alcohol, but on a charity you're putting restrictions.
So you're saying, wow, you don't like the association, but
there's still bars that are out of seale. You're doing
something good. And then you're questioning their moral character for
putting on alcohol when they're running a charity that's it

(51:08):
seems like they're doing good and maybe you're attacking the
wrong people.

Speaker 4 (51:11):
And you'd assume the host responsibility would be a lot stronger,
and particularly in this situation. I think the organizer said
down in Dunedin that there was going to be a
two drink limit per patron, and that's a lot easier
to enforce in that scenario.

Speaker 6 (51:26):
Right.

Speaker 4 (51:26):
So yeah, I mean the more that we're talking about this,
the more I'm thinking, Yeah, just let them have a
couple of drinks, Robbie, what do you say?

Speaker 20 (51:35):
So I've found a few events and we've got to
the point now where we do a few musical events
music without alcohol.

Speaker 17 (51:45):
That's what we've done, is we've done the last few
we've done with b YO.

Speaker 3 (51:49):
Right, and so where are these how do they hold
in public places or in private establishments?

Speaker 20 (51:57):
Yeah, no private establishments, and so we don't have a
liquor license, and so we just tell people like the
last one we did look like an SBCA type thing,
abandoned sort of pets.

Speaker 17 (52:08):
We've done them school fundraisers.

Speaker 5 (52:12):
Well it's fine.

Speaker 17 (52:13):
I'm giving them a little bit of a bit of
a shout out.

Speaker 16 (52:15):
We're doing a pink ribbon breast cancer event.

Speaker 17 (52:18):
And we've never had the events go, you know, go
badly with a b YO policy. Now, of course, you
know the people I don't know these events that run
a bar where they take him the image of the bar.
We've never done that. But yeah, we get do a
b yo.

Speaker 20 (52:33):
The magnificants had a hand and the last fundraiser we
did was the most of the facility ever done.

Speaker 3 (52:39):
And do you think people would turn up? So if
like so, you're doing a very good thing. It's a charity,
pink ribbon thing, breast cancer. Good on you, Thank you
so much for your contribution to society. But do you
think as much as people care, and they do care,
they would turn up and the numbers they do if
there was no alcohol.

Speaker 17 (52:58):
If we banned alcohol, no, they wouldn't turn up in
the same numbers. And they said, we have a b yo.

Speaker 20 (53:04):
So the fact that they can bring and they can
bring whatever, No, definitely that we would not get the
numbers as much known.

Speaker 2 (53:10):
Yeah, I mean, and that's the thing. So you've got
to weigh up the good and the bad.

Speaker 3 (53:13):
So there's no doubt and no one out there would
ever deny that alcohol has negative impacts on society. I
would say it also has positive impacts when it gets
people together for good causes and it gets people to
open their purse springs because that spurs her strings, because
they finally suddenly after two beers, they suddenly get that feeling.

Speaker 4 (53:33):
Of fluffy and love. Yeah, for the community to be
a good person and give a lot of cash to
this particular organization. Love to hear from you on this one.
O eight one hundred and eighty ten eighty is the
number to call quick takes to the break. Who in
their right mind is going to go to a charity
event with no boots? Seriously, if you're having an auction,
you want people to be a bit tipsy so they
get a bit loose on the wallets. Away New Zealand Police.

(53:57):
It is twenty two past two.

Speaker 1 (54:04):
Matt Heathen, Tyler Adams afternoons call oh eight hundred eighty
ten on us talk.

Speaker 4 (54:09):
S good afternoon, twenty four past two.

Speaker 3 (54:11):
We're talking about booze at charity events and whether it's
morally right or wrong to serve booze to try and
lubricate the wallets of the people that go along this.
Texas says that sounds like coercion to me, angry face.
It is kind of coercion, isn't it. So it certainly is.

Speaker 4 (54:30):
Yeah, we all know what's happening when we go along
and have a few too many rids. We kind of
know what's going to happen, right.

Speaker 2 (54:38):
Well, we all want to do right in the community.

Speaker 5 (54:40):
Right.

Speaker 3 (54:40):
We all want to we want to give back, most
of us do. But we also want to have a
good time. And that's when charities often mix. If there's
a charity night, and you know, I've been to so
many of them, and I've mceed a lot of them,
and that's where it makes the doing good and they're
having good time when they can come together.

Speaker 2 (54:55):
I think it's a beautiful union.

Speaker 4 (54:56):
Have you ever take it? You've gone to many a
charity auction? Yes, And you're better than these charity auctions
I have. Yes, you must have.

Speaker 2 (55:04):
I bought the most stupid piece of art, like and
absolute How has it just been fifteen hundred dollars fifteen
hundred dollars on something that went straight into the garage
and has never been looked at again.

Speaker 4 (55:17):
But I don't went to a charity.

Speaker 2 (55:19):
I felt bad about it, but I did good, just went.

Speaker 4 (55:25):
A bit of good that you are helping out a
nice charity. Jack, How are you?

Speaker 21 (55:30):
Yeah, I'm pretty good. Extree pokage. Guys need to put
you ahead on you know nothing about it.

Speaker 3 (55:36):
I don't know about that, Jack, and I think I
know probably everything about everything.

Speaker 2 (55:40):
But continue, Oh, no.

Speaker 21 (55:42):
No, no, no. I so you know what it's like to
be inflicted with the alcohol issue to do.

Speaker 3 (55:49):
Look, I know that there are alcoizash's out there. I mean,
I've definitely drunk too much in my life and had
it struggles to drink. Yes, less absolutely.

Speaker 21 (55:59):
So were you laughing about it?

Speaker 2 (56:01):
Well, because we.

Speaker 3 (56:01):
Can laugh about anything in society. That's that's the thing.
Things don't go away by not laughing about them and
not having a humorous takes on things.

Speaker 21 (56:11):
Yeah. No, it was humorous to you, but you know
to a lot of people it's not.

Speaker 4 (56:14):
Well, let's talk about that because clearly this has impacted
you and we want to hear about that. So, so,
has it impacted you personally or family members?

Speaker 21 (56:22):
Yeah? Yeah, personally, family members, friends, people. I know, you
know it's a serious issue, and you know, I just
sort of think you're minimalizing.

Speaker 3 (56:33):
Well, how Jack, And I'm sorry for your struggles and
I'm really sorry for your family struggles and alcoholism. Alcoholism
is a serious issue. But we're talking about people that
don't have alcohol problems going along to a charity and
having a few drinks, and I think that's a that's
a that's a totally different.

Speaker 21 (56:51):
Issue, well only in the sense that you're saying there's
nowhere alcohol they want to go. Yeah, so you know
that is an issue.

Speaker 3 (57:04):
Well potentially an issue, but I mean you can go
and have a few drinks and it's not a problem.
And you can and for some people it is a problem.
And for the people that is a problem, I definitely
feel for them. And alcoholism very very serious issue and
my heart goes out to people struggling with that. But
not everyone that drinks alcohol has an alcohol problem, and
not every event with alcohol in it is making the

(57:27):
problem worse. And we're just saying that if it's a charity,
then arguably you're making the world better with your charity
and on on and the alcohol. When your weigh out
the good and the bad, the alcohol being there isn't
as bad as the good that is made by the charity.

Speaker 21 (57:43):
Not fair, col But you know, I think you guys
need to understand it, you know, basically around alcohol.

Speaker 4 (57:49):
You know, well, yeah, no, we and we do. And
look we've we've maybe you know, taken a bit of
a levity angle on some of these charity events. But
rest assured, Jack, we both know in the studio the
damage that alcohol causes in the community. And I suppose
to Matt's point talking about alcohol is is a legal
substance and the vast majority of New Zealand consume it

(58:12):
to some level. That having a couple of drinks at
a charity event versus the opposite side which you're talking about,
and we know New Zealand doesn't have an issue with alcohol,
they can be separated, can they?

Speaker 21 (58:25):
Maybe?

Speaker 2 (58:26):
Well, I mean, Jack, would you support a complete prohibition
on alcohol?

Speaker 22 (58:30):
No, definitely not So what what what.

Speaker 3 (58:32):
Why would bars be able to serve alcohol? But charity
is not?

Speaker 21 (58:38):
Well, it's I think it's just the fact that it's
you stated, if there's no alcohol, you'd probably get fifty attendance.

Speaker 22 (58:49):
Yeah alcohol.

Speaker 4 (58:52):
Ye yeah. And to you, Jack, you think that's sorry.
You carry on, You carry on charity.

Speaker 21 (58:58):
Event for the charity event or for the alcohol.

Speaker 2 (59:03):
Yeah, well exactly.

Speaker 3 (59:05):
But you could say, like if you could have a
bar with no alcohol and would be knowing there either,
but a charity event has got olcohol there and you've
got more people and there's a positive thing coming out
of it. But just one last question, Jack, what's what's
the bird in the background there?

Speaker 21 (59:21):
Cocktail cocktail.

Speaker 2 (59:23):
I used to have a cocktail, great bird.

Speaker 5 (59:29):
I love.

Speaker 2 (59:29):
I love the cockatail, our cocktail. Freddy flew away a
few years ago, and Freddy, I miss you every day
you used.

Speaker 4 (59:35):
To come back.

Speaker 2 (59:37):
Freddy used to go what doing?

Speaker 12 (59:39):
What doing?

Speaker 2 (59:40):
Every morning?

Speaker 4 (59:40):
Did you teach them that?

Speaker 8 (59:42):
No?

Speaker 2 (59:42):
I don't always started doing what doing? But cockatail. I
love a cockatail.

Speaker 6 (59:45):
Jack.

Speaker 4 (59:46):
Thank you very much for giving us a buzz mate,
and appreciate it. You know, look, we're absolutely part of
this conversation. Is the more serious side of olcohol in
the community and get that. So appreciate you calling up.
Thanks to you, all right, mate, go well, uhight hundred
eighty eight is the number to call. We've got to
get to the headline shortly, but just want to read

(01:00:06):
out a couple of ticks here, Hi, guys. When you
get to sixty, you see how booze affects everything from Kevin,
which is a fair point. Keep those teaps coming through
A nine two nine two.

Speaker 2 (01:00:16):
Definitely affects you more and more as you get older,
that's for sure.

Speaker 4 (01:00:18):
Absolutely. I'm thirty eight and I can't handle the stuff anymore.
It is bang on two thirty.

Speaker 5 (01:00:25):
Us talk said the headlines.

Speaker 12 (01:00:27):
With blue bubble taxis it's no trouble with a blue bubble.
The government says it's working on redress for survivors of
torture at Lake Callis Hospital. Meanwhile, it's offering recompense for
the large legal bills survivors paid when settling an abuse claim.
In two thousand and one, the Free Speech Union says
a far right US speaker should be allowed into the country.

(01:00:49):
Candice Owen's visa application has already been rejected in Australia
over fears her views on Muslims and the Holocaust could
incite discord. A police detective has told a jury the
car registered to the man accused of killing Yan Fe
Bao in July last year was found saturated with water,
taking days to dry. Central Otago has a new mayor,

(01:01:12):
with Councilor Tamar Ali stepping up to replace Tim Cardogan.
The economy, abortion rights, and emigration have been touchstones of
Kamala Harris's final major address before the presidential election. She's
told of pat crowd the differences between her and Trump
are stark, and she will govern for all Americans. Shortlist

(01:01:33):
of candidates to be the next Commissioner of police whittled
to final two. Read more at enzid Herald Premium. Now
back to matt Ethan Tyler Adams.

Speaker 4 (01:01:42):
Thank you very much, Raylan, and we are talking about
charities serving alcohol at events? Is it appropriate? Can you
run a successful charity without serving booze? It was a
situation that one charity organizer is facing down in Dunedin.
She wanted to run a fashion fundraise or attached to
the Life Matter Suicide Prevention Trust, applying for a special

(01:02:02):
license to sell some alcohol limited alcohol at the event.
And police have opposed that because they believe it's sends
the wrong message. But what do you say on charities overall?
How are you?

Speaker 23 (01:02:13):
I'm good?

Speaker 24 (01:02:14):
Thanks?

Speaker 11 (01:02:14):
How are you?

Speaker 14 (01:02:14):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (01:02:15):
Good? What's your take on this topic.

Speaker 25 (01:02:18):
I think the police are quite right and refusing, especially
for a mental health charity event, just because mental health
and obviously alcohol they co exist together. But any other
charity event, I think it's a pretty silly idea having
alcohol there because it does actually take away from the
event that you're running. You find a lot more people,

(01:02:40):
you find a lot more people getting drunk, a lot
more people starting fights and doing all of that sort
of thing. It's a lot different at a family get
together or something like that when you all know each other.
But I think at charity events it's just a bit silly.

Speaker 3 (01:02:54):
Been to so many charity events with alcohol. I've never
seen a fight at at a charity event. But what
about the idea that mental health. Alcoholis definitely has its
effects on mental health. Is no denying that, but also
isolation has an effect on mental health, and people getting
together in large groups to do something positive like charity,
if there's some alcohol involved, I would say overall that

(01:03:17):
has a greater positive effect for mental health than people
not getting together. And maybe there's wrong with something wrong
with our society, but we just don't get the numbers.
Two events charity events in my experience, inness there is
alcohol involved, okay.

Speaker 26 (01:03:33):
Which I get.

Speaker 25 (01:03:34):
But in a mental health sort of charity, you're literally
having people that go through a system most of their
lives and you're enabling them with alcohol at the charity event.

Speaker 4 (01:03:44):
Yeah, but not everyone is why I say.

Speaker 25 (01:03:47):
No to it, and that is just my outlook on it.
We can have different outlooks as much.

Speaker 2 (01:03:51):
As you understand.

Speaker 3 (01:03:52):
That's why we're having discussions in our respect and respect
I respect your opinion but I would say that a
lot of the people that go along to a charity
to help with mental health don't necessarily have alcohol problems
themselves or even mental health problem, because you can go
along to a charity to raise money for something that
you don't currently suffer from. I mean, I've done been

(01:04:15):
involved in a number of cancer charities when I haven't
had cancer, but I have gone along, and they've actually
all involved alcohol.

Speaker 2 (01:04:25):
But I've gone along, and everyone.

Speaker 3 (01:04:26):
That's gone along there is to to raise money for
something that affects other people.

Speaker 25 (01:04:32):
Just quickly, sorry, You can raise money in different ways
without the alcohol.

Speaker 4 (01:04:38):
Yeah, certainly, And this is good to EMA. We want
different opinions on this program, no doubt about it. Like
a lot of these things, sometimes your your outlook is
peppered by personal experience. Have you had people close to
you that have suffered worth problems with alcohol?

Speaker 25 (01:04:56):
Nope?

Speaker 4 (01:04:58):
Have you seen it in the community, Yep.

Speaker 3 (01:05:01):
You'd be hard pressed not to see the problems with
alcohol in the community. But I guess I guess the
thing is, Emma, there's good and bad in everything, and
there's for everything.

Speaker 25 (01:05:11):
Enabling people to drink at a mental health charity is
just wrong.

Speaker 2 (01:05:15):
Yeah, okay, well, well get.

Speaker 25 (01:05:17):
Other charities, I completely get it. But in mental health charity, no,
I think it's wrong in the place. We're right to
the start of it.

Speaker 4 (01:05:23):
Yeah, well, fair enough to.

Speaker 3 (01:05:24):
Thank you so much for you for call Emma. I
would say that people are going to drink anyway. That's
just the case of it. On any given night, a
huge amount of people are looking for a place to
go out and they are going to drink. And we
all acknowledge that alcohol does cause problems. But you want
them to come along to your event and drink at
your event and give money to your charity, and maybe

(01:05:46):
some more positive comes out of it then would be
if they were just drinking at home.

Speaker 4 (01:05:52):
But you think most of the time the money coming
into that particular charity. As you say, for most of
these charity events, the people turning up do not have
problems with alcohol. You'd like to think maybe some of
them do, but you think most people turning up and
they having a couple of I'm just taking part in
an ox.

Speaker 3 (01:06:08):
You can't just focus just because some people have problems
with alcohol. I don't think you could then not have
a charity quiz knight, for example, with an auction at
the end, and you say, because some people that come
along and may have problems with alcohol, and some people
in the community might have problems with alcohol, that that
charity quiz night in a country where alcohol is legal
and people drink at sporting events, they drink at bars,

(01:06:30):
they drink at home, that somehow drinking at a charity
event is the bit that you would focus on shutting
the drinking down at it seems like you're cutting off
the legs of the charity event, which is the ones
that are really doing the good.

Speaker 4 (01:06:43):
Yeah, but they could be run without booze. But I
get your point. If they run that without drinks and
then people don't turn up and give money to the charity,
I get all that, But just beak to Emma's point.
And it's good that we have, you know, some different
opinions coming through here, and thank you Emma for giving
us a buzz. But to me, it's similar. And you
know how I felt about this. We talked about this
last week, having Kentucky Fried Chicken advertising at a sports event,

(01:07:05):
and I'll get slammed from saying, shah it up, Tyler.
You know it's a free can't try personal responsibility I
get all of that, but it's that juxtaposition and the
messaging that I can understand why people have some concerns
over it.

Speaker 3 (01:07:16):
Yeah, And as I say, there's good and bad in
this world and everything and everything can be weighed up
and everything is a balance. But I was talking about
that event that I am seed before. It was a
male mental health event and we had a whole room
full of people and we were getting men to talk
to each other about things between breaks, and we were
playing games that were getting people to reach out to each.

Speaker 4 (01:07:34):
Other as well, and that was good.

Speaker 2 (01:07:36):
And the alcohol, whilst no one got out of control,
the alcohol was a part of the lubrication of that
night and part of the reason people came along, and
I think they left with a really really positive message.

Speaker 4 (01:07:48):
And the auction that you spent fifteen hundred bucks on
a piece of artwork that is now in the carriage
and not hanging up at the home, that was because
you were feeling pretty good about life, because you had
a nice couple of wines, feeling pretty good, and it
was a nice charity.

Speaker 2 (01:07:59):
Surf turf and sky a.

Speaker 3 (01:08:01):
It's got a rabbit on it, it's got a fish
on it, and it's got a bird on it.

Speaker 4 (01:08:05):
I'll take it off on a table. I'll give you
five hundred bucks for it. I eighte hundred. That's a
good discussion. O eight one hundred eighty ten eighty is
the number to call. It is nineteen to three.

Speaker 5 (01:08:14):
Have a chat with the boys.

Speaker 1 (01:08:16):
On eight hundred and eighty eight nineties and Taylor Adams
Afternoons You for twenty twenty four News Talks B.

Speaker 4 (01:08:23):
News Talks the B seventeen to three having a great
discussion about alcohol and charity events. Hey your Beryl, Hello, Ed,
is that you Tyler? Sure, yes, it's Tyler here, Harla.

Speaker 19 (01:08:34):
I've so much you not been on the Thanes. I
know you've got a new job now, but I'm so
much not having my chat with you before I normally
go on to the ear.

Speaker 4 (01:08:43):
Well, we're having a chair now, buryl Let's let's let's senay.

Speaker 19 (01:08:46):
I know now listen, I will tell you what we've
all got our crosses to be in so far as
our health. Don't get me wrong, well, well you won't
get me wrong. You know. Some of us have esthma,
some of us have high blood pressure, some of us
have all sorts of things whatever age you are wrong.
So very few of us don't have some crossing to

(01:09:10):
bear in the form of health. But people like that
guy Jack or I think that was his name, absolutely
infuriate me. The fact is this, if you can't handle
the alcohol, give a donation to the charity. Don't go
as you can't if you know that you've got some
allergy towards the alcohol. Look, I'm empathetic with some people

(01:09:35):
because the alcohol is a disease of the blood and
some things. It's genetic, and I'm empathetic. But I've known
some Mormon girls that I worked with. They went at
all having the problem with alcohol, but they used to
come to the pub with us. We will work to
give them their distrink Santa or whatever it was. And

(01:09:57):
I can't stand part. We've got too many of the
lefties in this country who are either Party Propose or
the some police or whatever. They can only surround themselves
with their own dilemma horizontally and vertically and thinking, oh, well,
poor old me, I can't do this or whatever, and
they want to be the fun police or whatever it is,

(01:10:20):
or the party for the rest of us.

Speaker 3 (01:10:22):
Well, I mean, because I definitely don't don't I mean,
I think people must understanding me a little bit.

Speaker 2 (01:10:26):
I'm not saying.

Speaker 3 (01:10:27):
Compulsory drinking at charity events and that everyone has to
get steamed. And definitely this one we're talking about in
Duneda and they were just talking about serving some drinks
while people were watching a fashion show. It certainly didn't
sound to me like it was going to be a
massive booze up. But you know, I've got people that
I've got friends that don't drink, and I've spent periods
of my time when i haven't drunk alcohol. I didn't

(01:10:48):
drink alcohol for a year at one point. And you
definitely want to put a charity event that invites people
that don't drink as well, and you want to be
as encouraging and inviting to people as you can that
don't drink. But my thing is your charity event will
go better if there's alcohol there.

Speaker 2 (01:11:04):
That's just the way it is.

Speaker 3 (01:11:06):
And I don't think that we should kneecapt charities by
saying that because of who they're supporting, they should suddenly
not be able to serve alcohol when the bar down
the road is when the sport eventers. When people can
drink alcohol at home, that's That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (01:11:21):
They're all always lovely to chat with you. Molly, how
do you feel about this?

Speaker 14 (01:11:26):
Yeah, Hi, I'm just ringing.

Speaker 8 (01:11:29):
I'm actually a drugging alcohol counselor, long time listener and caller,
and I think that the lady that called them before
that had the idea that if you're at a charity
that doesn't involve anything to do with healthcare of mental health,
then by all things, you should potentially be serving alcohol.

(01:11:49):
I mean the argument that you know your charity is
going to be doing better of alcohols. There is just
a massive reflection of the issue that we have with
alcohol in this country and globally. If you think about tobacco,
it was prescribed to women to smoke in the nineteen
sixties when they were pregnant. We look back now in

(01:12:09):
absolute horror at the atrocity and the absolute bomb site
that's been left from the tobacco industry. Yet we continue
to push alcohol like it's this normal thing. You're literally
putting a chemical that is poisonous into you.

Speaker 3 (01:12:24):
It is, I would say it is a normal thing.
Though alcohol at the extremes, at the extremes, it's bad.

Speaker 2 (01:12:30):
Molly extremes.

Speaker 3 (01:12:32):
It's bad, but it is in our society a normal thing.
So for you to say that other people can serve
alcohol but charities can't, or charities that are related to
any way to health can't, that seems to me you're
kneecapping the very people that are trying to do good.

Speaker 8 (01:12:47):
Do you know what the challenge is is that the
World House Organization has said that people should be drinking
no more for men than three standard drinks per sitting,
no more than fifteen standard drinks per week. There is
research and science coming out now that is saying there
is no safe limit.

Speaker 3 (01:13:05):
To our Okay, but what about isolation and loneliness, which
is a much bigger problem in society than anything ouse
at the moment. And people, for whatever reason are more
likely to get together if they have a drink, and
if they get together to have a drink for a
good cause, then I think that the net good for
society is higher than the net loss for society.

Speaker 8 (01:13:25):
I think that that's just an argument to continue to
be able to maintain a behavior that's completely out of touch.

Speaker 3 (01:13:32):
Well, I know it's not out of touch because because
it's what people in New Zealand do it's a big part.

Speaker 2 (01:13:36):
Of our society. I enjoy it.

Speaker 4 (01:13:38):
I enjoy a drink.

Speaker 3 (01:13:39):
I enjoy a drink, and I'm a functioning member of society,
and I'm a great parent, and I'm in reasonably good health.
I go to the gym, I eat reasonably well. But
I have a drink.

Speaker 8 (01:13:49):
You're defensive about it, and people are so defensive about it.

Speaker 2 (01:13:52):
I'm not defensive about it.

Speaker 8 (01:13:54):
You definitely are because you've over talked to me about
ten times.

Speaker 2 (01:13:57):
People, Well, that's my radio show.

Speaker 4 (01:13:59):
No, No, this is a good bank, this is a
good debate. And Molly, I'll meet your finish and then
I'm going to question. Carry on, Molly, you have let.

Speaker 8 (01:14:04):
Me finish your course over men interrupted me multiple.

Speaker 2 (01:14:07):
Times, were repeating yourself.

Speaker 8 (01:14:10):
Well, no, you're not betting to be talking.

Speaker 24 (01:14:11):
You're quite Molly.

Speaker 4 (01:14:12):
We're running out of sign Please please just your point.

Speaker 8 (01:14:16):
I've given my point, but you continue to interrupt me.

Speaker 3 (01:14:21):
You gave your point, but I had to counter your point.
And I appreciate your point and and I get your point.

Speaker 8 (01:14:26):
The point is is that just like smoking was normalized,
we've normalized alcohol. And twenty years from now, I guarantee
you will look back on this discussion and think that
woman was right, Yes, drinking one or two beers here
and there, stick to say that you have an issue,
but alcohol and the idea that alcohol and drinking it

(01:14:47):
regularly is normal.

Speaker 4 (01:14:50):
I think if you're giving a lot of talking over here,
but this is both of you that I think something
like tobacco is something that took fifty years, right, took
fifty years to change that, and I think we're starting
to change now.

Speaker 2 (01:15:02):
Molly.

Speaker 4 (01:15:03):
Do you not agree that we're starting to have more
zero drinks.

Speaker 8 (01:15:06):
That's exactly what I'm saying, mate, And I'm not I'm
not against having a drink here and there, but you
have to really be honest with yourself and understand you
are drinking a poison.

Speaker 3 (01:15:17):
Okay, okay, Well I've let you talk, Molly, and I
didn't talk over you, and then you repeated your point
five times. And I agree with you one hundred percent
on that that alcohol is bad. I get that, but
everything in society is good and bad. And you weighed up,
and I think bringing people together to have a drink
for a charity is a net good for society.

Speaker 2 (01:15:34):
And we're a long way.

Speaker 3 (01:15:35):
And prohibit prohibit prohibiting. Yeah, alcohol has never worked in
the past. So you know, education is a good thing
and people know when they're drinking too much and some
people don't. But in society, we live in a society
where people drink a lot of alcohol.

Speaker 2 (01:15:49):
And why is it the charities are getting punished for it?

Speaker 22 (01:15:51):
Right?

Speaker 4 (01:15:52):
Good debate, Molly, Thank you very much. You've been a
regular caller and always appreciate you calling. And it's got feisty,
but nothing wrong with that. Yeah, we can get fisting.

Speaker 2 (01:16:01):
Said it didn't get fisty.

Speaker 4 (01:16:02):
No, no, it's a good debate. I'm really enjoying this. Oh,
one hundred and eighty to eighty. It's nine minutes a
three back in a.

Speaker 1 (01:16:07):
Month, the issues that affect you and a bit of
fun along the way. Matt Heath and Tyler Adams Afternoons
you for twenty twenty four.

Speaker 5 (01:16:16):
You talk said, be.

Speaker 4 (01:16:19):
Six to three. Get I Gary a.

Speaker 27 (01:16:25):
Talking to the host?

Speaker 4 (01:16:27):
Yep, Gary, what are you reckon about?

Speaker 6 (01:16:29):
How you're right?

Speaker 27 (01:16:31):
Right? My main concern is, yeah, I'm not against alcohol.
We've got it and it does have some benefits, but
we can't ignore the science that long term it does
have serious effects on people. No, doubt and so my
main concern is the over promotion of alcohol and saying, hey,

(01:16:52):
if you have alcohol, all their problems will go away.
Things will be good, you can talk, well, you can relax.
But and you know, like you go to a party
and advertise come along to the party in the first
drinks of for free, these sorts of promotional things. I
think we can enjoy benefits of this and thinks, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:17:15):
Absolutely, that may be an issue, Gary, But do you
think it should be the charities that are the ones
that are being questioned on their serving of the alcohol,
because aren't they the people that are actually doing good?

Speaker 13 (01:17:27):
Yeah?

Speaker 27 (01:17:27):
Okay, Look, I belong to one of the biggest charities
in the world, namely Rotary. We have meetings every week.
All our members come along. Yes, there is a bar
often at the function. Some people will have alcohol, some
will have non alcoholic drinks, and they're not coming there

(01:17:48):
for the drinks. They're coming there or what the association
of the organization and the charity.

Speaker 2 (01:17:55):
Well, good on them.

Speaker 3 (01:17:56):
You certainly wouldn't want to run a charity event where
drinking was compulsory. No one would be suggesting that. And
bless and good on people that go alone on to
these events and have nothing but the purest of intentions
for the charity. But what I'm saying is why why
would we needcap charities and say that they can't serve

(01:18:17):
alcohol when everyone else can serve alcohol?

Speaker 4 (01:18:22):
Yep, no fair point, Gary.

Speaker 27 (01:18:23):
I think it's I think it's a slightal thing that
people get.

Speaker 2 (01:18:27):
Hoped on this some people and.

Speaker 27 (01:18:29):
If we can, if we can continue to promote it,
it's going to be difficult to bring it under control.

Speaker 3 (01:18:36):
Yeah, oh, Gary, And definitely there's an argument that is
out of control.

Speaker 2 (01:18:40):
There's no doubt about that.

Speaker 3 (01:18:41):
But I guess you go, do we punish everyone because
some people have serious problems?

Speaker 6 (01:18:47):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (01:18:47):
And you're we want to refocus it on charity events, right,
These are events that are trying to raise money for
a good in society. Yes, alcohol can be bad for society,
but in you know, these situations where it's one or
two drinks does that overallway? As you say, the good
that people are going to these events are going to
provide that charity. We're going to carry this on because

(01:19:07):
this is a good toyon O. Wait, one hundred eighty
ten eighty is and I'm gonna call nine to nine
to New Sport and weather on its way. You're listening
to Madame Tyler, very very good afternoon to.

Speaker 1 (01:19:18):
You your new home for instateful and enter teening talk.
It's Matt Heath and Tylor Adams afternoons on News Talk SEBB.

Speaker 4 (01:19:33):
Very very good afternoons. You welcome back into the show.
Seven past three. We are heaving. I think it's a
lively debate, and nothing wrong with a lively debate.

Speaker 5 (01:19:40):
Man.

Speaker 2 (01:19:41):
I love a lively debate.

Speaker 4 (01:19:42):
I certainly do, fantastic, certainly do. And I've got to
come hot. I'll tell you what.

Speaker 3 (01:19:47):
People can text fast will what coming what? And I
got to say fifty percent absolute unadulterated love for my
opinion and fifty percent death threats.

Speaker 4 (01:19:59):
Oh good number.

Speaker 2 (01:20:01):
I think that's a good ratio.

Speaker 4 (01:20:02):
But just backing up my mate across the table here,
I know he's a genuinely good man, good dad, good
cuman being. But you've got your views, the staunch views,
so that's good.

Speaker 2 (01:20:11):
Yeah, I mean, I don't think.

Speaker 3 (01:20:13):
I don't think I think people if people think that
there's something wrong with that, somehow you're a bad human
being because you say and let's go back to the
topic we're talking about that you believe that serving drinks
at charity nights is a good thing if within reason,
if it brings people along and you make more money
for the charity. That's really what we're talking about here.

(01:20:35):
Is no one denying, and you'd be crazy to deny
that alcohol does damage in society. I also believe it
does good when it brings people together, and when it.

Speaker 4 (01:20:45):
Brings people to the distinction right when it brings.

Speaker 3 (01:20:47):
People together to make money for charity, then I've got
to say, on balance it's probably doing more bad than
good on that particular evening.

Speaker 2 (01:20:56):
And the wider discussion.

Speaker 3 (01:20:57):
About alcohol, boy oh boy, that is a huge one.
And prohibition hasn't worked in the past, and a lot
of these people are texting in and screaming for prohibition
that doesn't really work. And Molly before that was saying
alcohol isn't normal and it's a poison. It's definitely a poison,
but it is quite normal in New Zealand society. So
I don't think why charities, Why charities would be the

(01:21:19):
ones that would be picked out as being the ones
that can't serve it when bottle stores and bars so
close to those charities where they're operating their particular function,
are wanting to serve.

Speaker 4 (01:21:29):
It nicely said. Now, you mentioned before that you took
a year off drinking, and you were going to explain why.

Speaker 3 (01:21:35):
Yeah, I took it your drinking because I wanted to
show that I could because and look, there's no doubt
I've drunk too much times in my life. And you know,
I've got kids that are growing up, and I tell
them lots of rules around drinking and try and bring
them up in a way where they know that moderation
is the way. And there's definitely times in my life
when I haven't been moderate in my drinking, and so

(01:21:59):
I stopped drinking.

Speaker 2 (01:22:00):
For it for a year. It was hard.

Speaker 3 (01:22:05):
Initially it seemed to be that there was a function,
so many functions that I really needed to go to
jump up. But I just learned how to be sober
at these functions. I'll tell you what, the bluff Oyster Festival,
that was a tough one to stay sober.

Speaker 2 (01:22:18):
That's good for a tough one, but if you.

Speaker 3 (01:22:21):
Do choose to have a time to be sober, you're
going to have to realize that there will never be
a good time. There will always be something that is
absolutely important to be there. But when I came out
at the end of that year and I started drinking again,
I started drinking in moderation and sometimes I don't.

Speaker 2 (01:22:38):
Sometimes I drink too much.

Speaker 12 (01:22:39):
But.

Speaker 3 (01:22:41):
I think that is that's a personal issue for me,
and I think I don't cause any trouble when I've
been drinking. But that's kind of a different issue than
what we're discussing. I think the whole thing went off
the topic. We're not discussing whether alcohol.

Speaker 2 (01:22:56):
Should be banned and we should bring prohibition back.

Speaker 3 (01:22:58):
We're discussing whether it seems fear that a charity has
been questioned about serving alcohol because of the nature of
its charity, and whether that is the focus of the
people that wouldn't be serving alcohol, and whether you can
have a successful charity evening, say, for example, a charity
quiz or a fundraiser without alcohol. That's really the question

(01:23:18):
we're discussing here.

Speaker 4 (01:23:20):
Oh, eight hundred and eighty ten eighty is the number
to call get a case.

Speaker 26 (01:23:23):
Hi, I totally agree, Like I wouldn't go to a
top charity event without alcohol, and I definitely get loose
with my wallet on there. It's great time, but I
haven't heard the whole conversation. But what I haven't heard
anyone say is the other pieces. When people drink, they
get looser with their lips and then they start having conversations,

(01:23:44):
and if people are having struggles, they start talking about
it that they otherwise wouldn't necessarily start talking about. So
it opened up the conversation further.

Speaker 4 (01:23:54):
Yeah, one hundred percent.

Speaker 2 (01:23:55):
K I experienced this.

Speaker 3 (01:23:56):
I was saying this before the other night, and there
was a mental health charity event that I was speaking at,
and that was the whole idea of it. It was
getting as many people as they could together, and after
every little round of question, we would encourage people around
the tables, would give them topics to get talking because
it was about male mental health and it was about
getting people talking. I just don't believe any of those

(01:24:18):
guys would have been there if there was an alcoho
and they might not have had those deeper conversations that
you're talking about.

Speaker 25 (01:24:23):
Kate, totally.

Speaker 26 (01:24:25):
My mum club, there were six of us that went
out for dinner and all having wines, and it was
only after a few wines that half of us opened
up that we were struggling with post partum anxiety and
depression and picturing to deal with it, or you wouldn't
have told each other that otherwise.

Speaker 3 (01:24:41):
Yes, So it's kind of a zero sum game that
people are running that mental health and alcohol is bad,
and in some cases it is, but there are situations
where people to get together and alcohol, as you're saying, Kate,
helps with your mental health situation.

Speaker 2 (01:24:57):
Like everything, it's.

Speaker 26 (01:24:57):
A balance for each other that we wouldn't have been
had we not had a couple of wines and had
the conversation.

Speaker 2 (01:25:05):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:25:05):
So for you, Kate, you think the police oversteer tear
with this particular charity, absolutely, very good, Thank you very much,
Thank you, Kate. Oh eight one hundred eighty ten eighty.
I think people are starting to come around and it
was good. That's the distinction that you made, which I
think is important. We can all agree and I know
we're repeating this out there, but just to bring it
back that a couple of drinks at a charity event,

(01:25:28):
you're not somehow an evil person or contributing to the
harm that alcohol causes. That was the point you were making,
and I've got to say I do agree with that
from that aspect.

Speaker 3 (01:25:38):
Yeah, yeah, and Molly's point that she wanted to ring
up and repeat the same point over and over again,
and they've demand that the hosts of the show. I
have to disagree with that.

Speaker 2 (01:25:47):
You get, you get.

Speaker 3 (01:25:48):
We want every call we can possibly get. We love
talking to people, but you don't get to repeat yourself
over and over again. This is not the way it works.
There's the full lines backed up that we want to
talk to everyone we can.

Speaker 6 (01:26:00):
Yep.

Speaker 4 (01:26:01):
So if you want to jump in, O eight one
hundred and eighty ten eighty is the number to call.
It's thirteen past three back in a moment news to
be welcome back into the show. Sixteen past three.

Speaker 3 (01:26:11):
We're talking about alcohol at charity events.

Speaker 2 (01:26:14):
Is it a good or a bad thing? Can your thoughts?

Speaker 18 (01:26:19):
Yeah? Can you hear me?

Speaker 8 (01:26:21):
Right? Ye?

Speaker 2 (01:26:21):
Can hear you? But you sound good asweet?

Speaker 18 (01:26:24):
Okay. I yeah, that the lady who rung up before
drug and alcohol counselor. I owe my life to drugon
ale counselors. But the way the way her argument was
put across made me want to go and have three
drinks right like, just despite her. And that's not right.

(01:26:47):
But that's I that you made the comment before that
that not having alcohol at a function would kneecap And
the fact that that that that that's a statement that
somewhere that doesn't have alcohol is kneecapping everyone is kind
of like like it kind of shows where we're at

(01:27:07):
right My worry would be alcohol lowers inhibitions. I'm if
I'm on the verge and I'm feeling really depressed and
I've thrown up the idea which which I have. I've
spent my life in addiction and I've thought about suicide

(01:27:28):
many times. Being drunk, you lose that inhibition to.

Speaker 5 (01:27:35):
Fuck?

Speaker 18 (01:27:36):
What about the people around me? Sorry?

Speaker 5 (01:27:38):
What if?

Speaker 18 (01:27:38):
What if I hurt people?

Speaker 27 (01:27:39):
What?

Speaker 18 (01:27:39):
They start not thinking of that stuff because of the
other whole And to me, that might make you more
likely to to take the step as scary as that
as I Yeah, I don't know if they should have alcohol.
The fact that it's a thing is kind of just
showing where where our society is at.

Speaker 4 (01:28:00):
Yeah, I understand.

Speaker 3 (01:28:01):
I guess what I'd be saying, kind is it's odd
that it's the charity that you would you would hassle
about that rather than a bar. But if you don't,
don't mind me asking, can't how is how have you
fought your addiction.

Speaker 2 (01:28:14):
Or worked with it.

Speaker 18 (01:28:16):
I have been to three or four reheads. I ended
up going to a place called Higher Ground in Auckland
and it saved my life. I'm drugon ale counseling and
NA meetings and AA meetings were the two things that Yeah,
like I said, I'm on eight and a half is

(01:28:36):
clean and I would never go back to drinking.

Speaker 2 (01:28:39):
Congratulations.

Speaker 26 (01:28:41):
Thanks.

Speaker 18 (01:28:42):
That means a lot. When I say no to somebody
offering me a drink, that is really weird for them. Yeah,
it's unheard of, unheard of. I've said no to a
few people offering me drinks and the looks like it
and the like it's what planet are you from? You know,
like the fact that saying no to a drink is

(01:29:03):
so weird.

Speaker 2 (01:29:05):
Yeah, I think I think you're so right there, Cahn.
That is the strain.

Speaker 3 (01:29:08):
Just think when I wasn't drinking, the idea that was
almost offensive to other people that I wasn't and I
would try and draw it, order zero alcohol beers to
and I'd say to the person that was bringing them over,
don't say because sometimes I'd order them and then they
bring them over and say.

Speaker 2 (01:29:25):
There goes this beer this because there's zero alcohol beer,
and then it would become a whole thing. I don't
get that at all.

Speaker 3 (01:29:29):
If someone doesn't want to drink, then then you've got
to absolutely, one hundred percent respect that. It's a very
strange part of our society that we would worry that
someone else doesn't.

Speaker 2 (01:29:37):
We should support their decision.

Speaker 18 (01:29:40):
If anything, encourage it. Yeah, like, hey, good on you,
you know, like, yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:29:46):
Did you think maybe can? But part of that sorry
you go can't.

Speaker 18 (01:29:51):
Oh, I just I was going to make the same
point again. Now you're right, you go.

Speaker 3 (01:29:58):
I was just saying, do you think in some ways
the reason why people are like that when someone's says
they're not drinking, that they feel weird about their own
drinking and so they feel kind of judged by it
or so they so they want to be enabled they're
having a drink, So when someone says they don't, it

(01:30:18):
makes them have to look at themselves and question why
they're having a drink.

Speaker 18 (01:30:22):
That's that's what I thought. I spent years pushing drinks
on people because I felt bad about how much I
was drinking, So I would trying other people drunk to
make me not feel as.

Speaker 4 (01:30:33):
Bad what happened. Was there a catalyst, Khan that that
made you wake up and say I need professional help here.

Speaker 18 (01:30:43):
Yes, my sister run both my kids parents and both
my kids mums and told them it wasn't safe for
my kids to be in my care anymore. I love
my kids to bits and like the fact that alcohol

(01:31:03):
and drugs took president of my kids was a yeah,
I always knew that, but the fact that I was
not allowed to see my kids because of how I
was behaving was yeah. Yeah, that was a mean.

Speaker 3 (01:31:15):
Well, good on you man for doing what you're doing
and eight and a half years sober, that is fantastic
and you're obviously a good man and you've you've done
the right thing by your family.

Speaker 2 (01:31:25):
So yeah, so I applaud you.

Speaker 4 (01:31:27):
Thank you very much so much for your call.

Speaker 2 (01:31:29):
Can't cheers?

Speaker 4 (01:31:29):
Can't it is twenty one past three eight hundred eighty
ten eighty is the number to call if you want
to jump in on this conversation.

Speaker 1 (01:31:41):
Matt Heathen Tyler Adams afternoons, call oh, eight hundred eighty
ten eighty on News Talk ZEDB.

Speaker 4 (01:31:47):
Us Talk zed B. Good afternoon, Steven, how are you
I'm good going for you?

Speaker 14 (01:31:52):
Yeah?

Speaker 22 (01:31:52):
Good?

Speaker 4 (01:31:53):
What's your take on this?

Speaker 28 (01:31:55):
I really enjoyed the discussion. My title with my wife
known a brewery, and part of what we're doing is
coming back to the community, and one of those mechanisms
is sponsorship and especially charity events.

Speaker 6 (01:32:07):
Yep.

Speaker 28 (01:32:09):
Be a lot of requests all the time, which obviously
we can't fulfill, but for us, it's quite it's quite
a powerful way to give back to the community.

Speaker 5 (01:32:18):
Yep.

Speaker 4 (01:32:19):
And do you do you ever get sorry, carry on, Stephen,
don't you go? Do you ever get I suppose pushback
from the community offering that service. I think I take
my head off to you that you provide that to
charities who need it to set up events. You're saving
them a lot of money and effort to set up
those events. But do you ever get pushed back on that?

Speaker 28 (01:32:40):
We never have, And it's something that I have thought
about in this current moment. And alcohol right a harm.
It's a real thing, and we're aware of it because
we own restaurants as well, so we're quite aware of it.
But the charity events, they just seem to be so
grateful that they can actually have a mechanism to save
or make money and make goodle enjoy themselves as well.

Speaker 4 (01:33:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:33:03):
And would there be any charities that you wouldn't be
associated did worth because it's directly related to alcohol?

Speaker 28 (01:33:14):
Well, potentially it would. We've never been in that situation before,
so I've never really had to sort of had to
confront it on All the charities we we support are
sort of ones that we like and when we get
more more requests than we can fulfilled.

Speaker 2 (01:33:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:33:28):
It's an interesting way though, because every single charity, if
you scratch the surface and if you if you really
look into it, you could probably find a way where
it's where it somehow a problem.

Speaker 2 (01:33:38):
As I said, I've done.

Speaker 3 (01:33:39):
Charity, I've done you know, charity gigs at pubs for
bowel cancer. And people could point out and some people said, oh,
that's that's not right because of you know, the link there.
But there's there's kind of a link everywhere. It's an
interesting one. But like everything, there's there's good and bad.
You've got you've got a wagh everything up. And as

(01:34:00):
you say there is, you know you're not You're not
hiding from the fact that alcohol does have an effect
on society, but it also has a positive effect as well,
there's both sides to it.

Speaker 2 (01:34:11):
You've just got it. You've just got to weigh those
up in your mind.

Speaker 28 (01:34:14):
Yeah, yeah, I did have one good whoopsie at one
charity view.

Speaker 2 (01:34:17):
Though, Oh yeah, tell us so.

Speaker 28 (01:34:19):
The diamond ring twelve thousand dollars, the bidding at ten
grand and I won. My wife's like, what hell did
you just do?

Speaker 2 (01:34:31):
So your idea is we're going to get this is
going to go to twenty grand grand. Let's just start
it off.

Speaker 4 (01:34:36):
Started off yeah, and then nobody else but.

Speaker 28 (01:34:39):
We're going though, because one of one of our group
was was thinking about proposing. So I managed to on
sell it for the same price within an hour of
the mark purchase. So we're that well thro.

Speaker 4 (01:34:49):
Okay, yeah Stephen Aaron, how are you?

Speaker 29 (01:34:54):
Yeah, I'm good things.

Speaker 4 (01:34:55):
And what's your story when it comes to charity auctions.

Speaker 29 (01:34:58):
Well, first of all, I like, so I don't need
alcohol to have a good night. I've been to pedier
parties where it's been an open bar and not drunk
and stuff, and then there's been nights where I had
drunk and had a good night. But probably a funny
story was there was a charity fundraiser for romantic fever.
I think I got a little bit tipsy and I
was thinking I was bitting Ageese myself at the art option.

Speaker 4 (01:35:22):
I ended up winning for it was for.

Speaker 5 (01:35:23):
A good cause.

Speaker 4 (01:35:24):
You beat yourself, and.

Speaker 29 (01:35:28):
It was a little bit more than I, you know,
wanted to but still it went to a great cause,
so it didn't really matter.

Speaker 4 (01:35:34):
So and what were you buying?

Speaker 29 (01:35:37):
It was a piece of art, all.

Speaker 4 (01:35:39):
Right, nice looking art? What was what was the picture of.

Speaker 29 (01:35:42):
It's of some sailing ships easily in Auckland harbor, lovely.

Speaker 18 (01:35:47):
How much?

Speaker 4 (01:35:47):
How much did you pay for it?

Speaker 29 (01:35:49):
Three hundred and fifty dollars?

Speaker 3 (01:35:50):
See, that's better than what I bought the surf turf
and sky an embroidery slash painting total I saw and.

Speaker 4 (01:35:59):
You paid four times as much as Errand did it.
That's fifteen hundred bucks.

Speaker 3 (01:36:02):
So yeah, I think I think I was just paying more.
Closet was so bad and it became funny to try
and win it.

Speaker 4 (01:36:07):
But then next thing, Aaron, thank you very much mate.
Good to chat right, got to get to the headlines.
It is twenty eight pass three bagfy, surely you're listening
to mettin Tyler Good afternoons.

Speaker 5 (01:36:19):
You News talks at the headlines with.

Speaker 12 (01:36:24):
Blue bubble taxis it's no trouble with a blue bubble.
US presidential candidate Kamala Harris has called rival Donald Trump
a wannabe dictator who whipped up a mob to attack
the capital with no care for the consequences. Hastings District
Council CEO Nigel Bickles says there is a lot of
opportunity to streamline consents, saving costs for customers and building firms.

(01:36:48):
The government's proposing letting qualified tradees skip inspections for low
risk builds is also suggesting offering streamlined consenting to businesses
with a record for big projects. The Secondary Teachers Union
says schools desperately need support with chronic absence and the
government shouldn't be funding charter school and this is she

(01:37:09):
was crying up for adequate funding. Pokitaha Primary School in
rural Waikato has had a fire at its school hall
which took about an hour to get under control. Monopolies
First a Eden addition is sitting shelves and includes iconic
sites like Lannet, Castle, George and Castle Streets and the
Botanic Gardens. Is Fashion Week ready for twenty twenty five.

(01:37:32):
The owner confirms dates and a new venue. Find out
more at Viva Premium. Back to matt Ethan Tyler Adams.

Speaker 4 (01:37:39):
Thank you very much, Ray Lean. Right, good discussion over
the last hour and a half. But we are going
to change up for the last half hour. We want
to talk about rings. Engagement rings.

Speaker 2 (01:37:48):
Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 3 (01:37:49):
So one found out that a partner who earns three
hundred and thirty thousand a year bought her engagement ring
at Timu. The ring cost sixty five dollars. She is
thinking about breaking up with them. This is at the
extreme end of cheapness. But what about lab growing diamond rings?
Do you care if you were given an engagement ring
and it turned out to be a not a real diamond,
turned out to be a lab grown diamond, would you

(01:38:13):
give a lab grown diamond? Greek Collin told my crossing
this morning that you can't tell the difference with the
naked eye between a lab ground one, so it looks
exactly the same. It's just much cheaper if you can't
tell the difference. Who cares or is an engagement ring
and the cost a way of showing your partner that
you're ready to make massive sacrifices. So I understand, Tyler,

(01:38:35):
you're looking at, maybe, if I'm not speaking out of
turn here, investing in possibly an engagement ring for someone
at some point.

Speaker 4 (01:38:42):
Absolutely, yep, yep. I am in this at the moment,
and it's no surprises for mate. She knows that it's coming.
I still want it to be a surprise. I want
the moment to be right. And she won't know any
of that.

Speaker 2 (01:38:52):
But we'll know. She'll know when you book constantly. Hey,
we're just going to stay at a vineyard or where.

Speaker 4 (01:38:58):
Well, lucky for her, we say lots of.

Speaker 2 (01:39:00):
Vine So you're doing so much romantic stuff.

Speaker 4 (01:39:03):
Yeah, yeah, that one more that's going to h Yeah.
But and this is the question that I'm kind of
mullying over, is do I, at this point, because she
knows it's coming, at some stage, say over the next
twelve months, do I take her down to go and
pick out the ring that she wants? Because that doesn't
feel romantic to me. That feels like I want her

(01:39:24):
to have a ring that she's going to enjoy.

Speaker 2 (01:39:26):
But what are the chances that you are going to
get it right? Very very low, because she'll know what
she likes a lot more than you. Well, I mean
I'd be terrified to buy my partner any item of
clothing or a ring.

Speaker 4 (01:39:41):
But then she gets one part of the surprise, hopefully,
which is where and when I drop the knee. But
then the other part of the surprise is kind of
like knowing what you're going to get for Christmas, isn't it?

Speaker 3 (01:39:51):
So I guess what you need to do is walk
past a jewelry store and then just go and look
at ones, like in a vague discussion about which ones
that she might like, and what do you think about this?

Speaker 4 (01:40:04):
You know, like, just get fifteen different options, just like
it's a.

Speaker 3 (01:40:08):
Common sation that's to do with nothing that maybe one
of these, and then you get an idea of the
kind of thing that she likes, and then sit on
it for two years and then surprise it.

Speaker 4 (01:40:16):
But then on the on the question of the lab
grond diamond, I actually like that idea because I think, look,
diamonds to me, I understand they mean a lot to
a lot of people, but to me, it's just a rock.
It's just a nice looking rock. And to save the
frugal side of me coming out to save seventy percent
on something that is pretty much identical. But I would

(01:40:37):
tell me that it is a lab grond diamond. I
would not tell her it's a real diamond.

Speaker 2 (01:40:40):
Yeah, I think that's the key.

Speaker 4 (01:40:42):
Yeah, so you can't be deceptive.

Speaker 3 (01:40:45):
Again, the other side of it is, does it matter?
It's how it locks, and your demonstration of love should
be all that counts. It's a beautiful thing to demonstrate
your love.

Speaker 2 (01:40:58):
How much it costs should be irrelevant.

Speaker 4 (01:41:01):
Yeah, I mean that, that would be the argument. I'm
sure I feel bad talking about this without her to
say how she feels about the situation. But I'm sure
she would say I don't care how much that ring goes. Yes,
but does she really mean there deep down? I'm sure
she wouldn't if I gave her a sixty three dollars team.

Speaker 3 (01:41:21):
Yes, that's why I said, that's on the extreme. But
the other thing, and I guess if she was showing
the ring to someone and even though you can't tell
by your eye, but maybe someone that knew about things
and whipped out one of those big glasses with the
big telescope on them and went, that's lab growing.

Speaker 2 (01:41:38):
And you hadn't told her. There may be that that
would be that would be.

Speaker 4 (01:41:41):
A problem, that would be very different one.

Speaker 3 (01:41:43):
Hundred and eighty ten eighty Does it matter the cost
of an engagement ring if the heart is in it
and is a lab grown diamond?

Speaker 4 (01:41:54):
Okay, if you've recently been proposed to, was it a
lab grown diamond? It is a massive trend at the moment,
hence why Mike had that in view on who show
at the moment? Did you care it was a lab
grown diamond? Did you want the real thing or did
they just give you what is often described as a
proposal ring, which is just any old thing until you
both go down and pick out the ring that you

(01:42:16):
ultimately want love to hear from you. Oh, eight hundred did.

Speaker 3 (01:42:18):
You just slip a squid ring onto someone's finger and
say it's how I feel? Not the cost of the ring?

Speaker 4 (01:42:26):
Janine, how are you?

Speaker 23 (01:42:28):
I'm very good in you?

Speaker 22 (01:42:29):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (01:42:30):
Good?

Speaker 4 (01:42:30):
So choosing a ring? What do you reckon? Does it
take the romantic aspect out of it? If I go
down with my partner and say what do you actually want?
When I do do the right thing and drop an me?

Speaker 23 (01:42:40):
Absolutely not. You should go down and choose because it's
something that you should choose life, And there are a
lot of people that I know that then weren't happy
with their rings and so later in life changed it.
But it then sort of takes away. So if you
go and choose maybe four and choose four different options

(01:43:01):
and then the decision then still is finally yours, it's
still a surprise.

Speaker 3 (01:43:06):
What about if you so if you got down on
the knee, but because because you want to kind of
have that surprise about when you propose, yep, what if
you got down on the knee and you just gave
a voucher to a jewelry store.

Speaker 4 (01:43:22):
No, just said that. I mean, that's that's no.

Speaker 23 (01:43:28):
So I my husband and I designed our the engagement
ring together with a jeweler. We had a friend of
the family who was a jeweler. And then so we
discussed designed it and then he said that don't talk
about it again. So that was in like I can't remember,
like June. And then he proposed two days before Christmas,

(01:43:53):
so it was a long time. He'd had the ring
in the house.

Speaker 7 (01:43:55):
For a little bit.

Speaker 17 (01:43:56):
I didn't know.

Speaker 23 (01:43:59):
So he proposed with a ring box. It was empty,
oh yeah, and said that it was missing like that,
it wasn't really yet and yet right, And then two
days later, when we've done the Christmas present, he says,
are you sure there's nothing else in there? So you
can add even though you.

Speaker 2 (01:44:18):
Still have there was some mystery edits.

Speaker 4 (01:44:20):
Yeah, yeah, that's good. You've got a good hobby there.

Speaker 8 (01:44:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 23 (01:44:26):
The point here, while he's still hanging around twenty odd
years later, the point is that you can still even
though you have chosen the ring together, the four you know,
and you've got four rings and you've done it together,
and then so you still have a surprise, You can
still make the actual engagement a big thing as well.

Speaker 4 (01:44:48):
You love that. And just on the lab grow and
diamond aspect, do do you think women primarily care about
that these days? Do they care whether it's lab or real?

Speaker 8 (01:44:57):
No?

Speaker 23 (01:44:58):
No, honestly me personally, I couldn't care less. It's the
sentiment of the two of you doing it together, and
doing the whole process together starts your life off doing
everything together.

Speaker 3 (01:45:09):
So if there were two lined up and he said
to you, I can spend twenty thousand on this and
you'll get one that's a real diamond, or we'll spend
ten thousand on it and it's a lab gram and diamond.
You'd be like, I prefer the lab diamond, and we
spend ten thousand dollars on our life that we're forming together.

Speaker 4 (01:45:27):
One yeah, good on I good call it a start
off off with. Oh, eight hundred and eighty ten eighty
is the number to call. Plenty of texts coming through
on nine two ninety two. Will take a quick break
and be back with more of your causes twenty to four.

Speaker 22 (01:45:41):
He's done.

Speaker 1 (01:45:42):
You take on talk bag matt Ethan Tyler Adams afternoons.
Have your say on eight hundred eighty ten eighty News Talks.

Speaker 4 (01:45:49):
The'd be good afternoon. We're talking about engagement rings on
the back of a couple of stories. One was a
woman who was quite irate that her fire fiance. I
think she said yes in the end, but he got
her a sixty three dollars TEAMU ring.

Speaker 2 (01:46:01):
This is at the extreme of the issue that's not good.

Speaker 4 (01:46:04):
Well, But what we think is more interesting is the
rise of lab growing diamonds. Everybody knows how expensive diamonds are.
They're very rare, but lab grown diamonds are taking over
and I think you can pick them up for about
seventy percent of a real diamonds.

Speaker 3 (01:46:17):
I think it might even be half Matt. This Texas says,
I'm known to Matt. My wife lost your engagement ring.
So we went to a manufacturing jeweler and we decided
on the manufactured diamond. The expert told us the average
key jeweler could not tell the difference. Also, there was
unlikely to be flaws in it as a side issue.
Would prefer not to buy a blood diamond.

Speaker 4 (01:46:36):
Now I don't want to get Well, you're pretty honest, man,
she you're very honest, very very honest. You have given
an engagement ring to someone before.

Speaker 3 (01:46:46):
Yeah, I have, And I got a friend to design
it because I wouldn't to be a surprise. And I
think that a friend of the woman I was giving
the engagement ring too. Yes, and she designed it, and
I think she went for something that was I don't
know anything at all. I don't know anything at all,
but I wanted to do the right thing, so I
was terrified at what to get, and so a friend

(01:47:07):
designed and I think because it ended up being her
friend designed something that she thought was cool, and it
was really cool. But I think sometimes you just want
traditional and the engagement roog needs to look more like
an engagement ring.

Speaker 2 (01:47:23):
And I think this looked a little bit more. It
just looked too innovative.

Speaker 4 (01:47:30):
You did all the right things, exactly what I would
have done. You went to a trusted friend who knew
this woman.

Speaker 3 (01:47:35):
She was lovely about it, and she was very happy
with the whole situation. But I could tell, deep in
my heart that it wasn't was racked with anxiety that
it wasn't quite the right thing.

Speaker 4 (01:47:47):
This is making me anxious.

Speaker 30 (01:47:48):
Get a Matthew, good, good, many Gooday, Tyler, it's Matthew.

Speaker 17 (01:47:52):
How are you?

Speaker 8 (01:47:53):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (01:47:53):
Yeah, good good? What are you reckon about the leab
grown diamonds?

Speaker 31 (01:47:56):
Ah, I'm all for it. But we've been married, being
married now for a while. And but we went and
got picked the ring. And I think it's important you
go and get the ring because one, you need the setting.

Speaker 2 (01:48:07):
Yeah, if you don't.

Speaker 31 (01:48:08):
Want to ring, that will be too tight and their
wet fingers swell up and you can't get it off.
And then yeah, and then that they need to know
the like the look and the cut of it and
the diamond. But yeah, I would buy a lab grown
diamond for sure, But we bought ours. I bought mine
in Asia. So we went on holiday and bought it there.

(01:48:30):
But I was backpacking and carried it around with me
around all of Asia, and I was just fretting that
it would get stolen.

Speaker 3 (01:48:36):
You know, That's that's a romantic story that its spent
that long time with you with just protecting it as
you slept at.

Speaker 31 (01:48:42):
Night after what yeah, after one massive night in Vietnam,
I just we both woke up, we're hungover as hell,
and they just rolled over and I just asked, proposed then,
and she said, yes, it was very romantic.

Speaker 3 (01:48:56):
But what do you think, Matthew, about the concept of
getting a lab grown diamond that looks exactly the same
and even most jewelers in New Zealand, as one Texas
seed probably couldn't tell the difference, but not mentioning it's
a lab grown diamond.

Speaker 2 (01:49:11):
Oh well, I think you'd have to. Yeah, you'd have
to fell.

Speaker 4 (01:49:14):
Yeah, because otherwise there's deceptive, isn't it.

Speaker 5 (01:49:17):
And it's all about honesty.

Speaker 31 (01:49:19):
You're going to marry someone, you've got to be honest.

Speaker 3 (01:49:20):
So and even if even if your partner wasn't shallow,
if she then found out much later down the track,
it would be it would feel gutting. It would feel
like you tried to get one past you. Yeah, even
though it doesn't matter even if she was happy with
it at the time, if it was lab grind, but
if the whole.

Speaker 31 (01:49:37):
Time on the back foot from the start, yeah yeah,
yeah yeah, but.

Speaker 2 (01:49:41):
Every time w you'd be like, going there, don't go
in there.

Speaker 4 (01:49:45):
I'm pretty sure you can buy those little magnifying glasses
pretty cheap these days as.

Speaker 31 (01:49:49):
Well, and then they look quite good, like you can't.

Speaker 30 (01:49:53):
Really tell, like, yeah, they're pretty impressive. So yeah, I
think it's all good.

Speaker 4 (01:49:58):
Yeah, thank you very much, Matthew. Julie, how are you
very well?

Speaker 30 (01:50:03):
Thank you.

Speaker 24 (01:50:05):
I had mixed feelings when lab diamonds first came. I
think I liked the idea and edged up deciding is
I like the idea, perhaps lab grown, but I like
the authenticity of something that the earth is produced, and
you know, yadiada slighting perfections, And for thirty odd years
I've had a magnificent E diamond, a three and a

(01:50:25):
half carried E diamond, which is an exceptional white so
it's almost pure, it's almost colorless, et cetera. However, I thought, well,
Lab di'monds are fine. You know, for those who aren't
particularly worried, but I read an article just the other day.
It was in the Times of London, so it was
a reputable source. And apparently I always had, I mean,

(01:50:47):
having no idea how a lab diamond would be grown.
You sort of think of some chemistry person they're slatting away,
But in actual fact, it takes a huge amount of
fossil fuels to create the heat and the pressure to
create that diamond from the carbon. So in other words,
there's a huge, yes.

Speaker 11 (01:51:08):
Fossil fuel cost to be able.

Speaker 24 (01:51:10):
To get that so called lab grown diamond. Not to me,
sort of defeats the purpose for people who are saying, oh,
you know, we want to preserve the earth, we want
to be careful. We're don't worry about real diamonds, blood diamonds,
all the rest of it, but we don't realize about
the fossil fuel cost.

Speaker 2 (01:51:27):
Something to think about, right there.

Speaker 4 (01:51:28):
Yeah, thank you very much, Julie, quick text. Then we'll
get back to more of your phone calls, Tyler, do
not be a cheapscape by a real diamond lab growing
for kids games. It's simply states you have no real
commitment to your relationship. Get a life, grow up and
lay up you screwede.

Speaker 3 (01:51:45):
Well, what about this one about diamonds. Isn't it rather
sexist that the man is expected to splash out for
the woman's ring. Maybe your lovely partner will surprise you
and get down on a knee and give you a
little engagement ring.

Speaker 4 (01:51:57):
No comments. One hundred and eighty, ten eighty. It's eleven
of four.

Speaker 1 (01:52:01):
The big stories, the big issues, the big trends and
everything in between. Mat Heath and Tyler Adams Afternoons You
for twenty twenty four us talk said B, said B
eight to four.

Speaker 2 (01:52:13):
But a romans te end of the show. He listened
to us.

Speaker 3 (01:52:15):
I got married twenty five years ago and bought my
partner a gold ring with the Cubic Zirconia. She didn't
have any issues with it, and I promised her that
I would upgrade the zconia to a diamond later. A
couple of years later, I kept my promise and replaced
the Zirconia with a large diamond.

Speaker 4 (01:52:32):
Oh beautiful, Julian, how are you good?

Speaker 30 (01:52:36):
Thanks Tyler, Julian Air from cust You get mates. I've
been a jeweler for since I was fifteen. I'm now
coming out for seventeen.

Speaker 4 (01:52:46):
Yep.

Speaker 30 (01:52:47):
To firstly your predicament and we can do all this
by video. But if you if you come and see me,
you both get design the ring.

Speaker 4 (01:52:58):
Okay and Ben Tyler Yeah yeah, me and man.

Speaker 30 (01:53:01):
Yeah, you get all that done. And then your partner
can go away wondering when she is going to get
the piece and the decision has been up to you
in the end that you spend, get what you want
and she gets what she wants.

Speaker 3 (01:53:17):
Beautiful a solution here, Julian. I've got one question for
you though. Can you would you be able to just
with your eye tell the difference between a lab ground
diamond and a real diamond.

Speaker 30 (01:53:29):
Well, if we could go onto the look, no matter
what you call the lab grown, man made mosernite, it
is just a name. It will always be synthetic.

Speaker 4 (01:53:43):
Yep.

Speaker 30 (01:53:44):
Look, when I first started my trade quite a few
years ago, we had with a diamond, you had a
white spinel as a as a replica. It was a
very dull stone. It didn't sparkle. We then went onto
Cuba Zyconian. Now, when say take a carrot stone, a

(01:54:04):
carrot Cuba Zirconian forty five years ago was about one
hundred and twenty hundred and thirty dollars. They are now
maybe no more than ten dollars, right, and you think.

Speaker 4 (01:54:16):
The same thing would happen to lab grown.

Speaker 30 (01:54:18):
Yeah, look, leb grown. You know they're popular now, they're
all the rage. They are not cheap to reduce and
that's why they are, you know, not a cheap stone.
But you know it will always be a synthetic. Like
all technology, we will progress and that gem, that lab

(01:54:39):
grown stone you're paying seven or eight hundred dollars for now,
will be worth in a few years time, maybe forty
or fifty.

Speaker 4 (01:54:46):
Interesting. Thank you very much, Julian Jan how are you hey?

Speaker 32 (01:54:51):
Thanks for you guys.

Speaker 4 (01:54:52):
Good rings? Engagement rings? What should I do here?

Speaker 29 (01:54:56):
Yeah?

Speaker 32 (01:54:57):
So, first of all, my husband and I before we
got engaged, we'd had a conversation, so we went ring
shopping together and great, and we also looked at wedding
bands at the same time, because a lot of people
choose an engagement ring and they don't think how the
band fits into the look Yeah good, that was important
to us. As for a lab growings, my husband has

(01:55:20):
recently said to me, look, if I want another ring,
like a third one he might consider it, and he's
kind of said, you can get a lot better bang
for your.

Speaker 33 (01:55:29):
Bucks, and I'd probably be open to that. I probably
would have been open to it for my wedding band
as well. But I think I would have been disappointed
with an engagement ring.

Speaker 24 (01:55:40):
That was lab grown.

Speaker 32 (01:55:42):
It's just probably that's probably just the biggest marketing or
something for like one hundred years. But you're just so
excited to get you know, your first diamonds and your
first engagement rings. So you know, I think that's probably
how it might have felt. But you know, as you say,
people can't tell the difference, so maybe it doesn't really
matter that much.

Speaker 4 (01:56:00):
Well, I've got a lot to think about, yeah, Matt.

Speaker 3 (01:56:02):
Well, I was looking at before the average costs average
spent on a diamond engagement ring in New Zealand five
and a half. That not so you open there, you're
going to be operating on that region, Tyler.

Speaker 4 (01:56:11):
Oh, it's a lot of money. But you know, talking
about money, it's not very romantic. Hey, thank you, Jin,
and thank you to everybody else. I mean, I put
it out the call for help. I don't know if
I'm any better off here. There was a wide variety
of opinions. So I've got some thinking to do. Should
we go ring shopping after this mat We'll go down
and have a lot of shore we can get.

Speaker 2 (01:56:28):
I'll choose, I'll choose for you. Worry about that.

Speaker 4 (01:56:30):
I trust you. Listen.

Speaker 2 (01:56:31):
I've got it wrong before, but you know that gives
me experience.

Speaker 4 (01:56:34):
Thank you very much for today. Really enjoyed that good discussion,
deep discussion. We'll do it all again tomorrow.

Speaker 2 (01:56:40):
And give them a taste of que we a.

Speaker 22 (01:56:43):
Matt and Tyler.

Speaker 1 (01:57:01):
For more from News Talks B listen live on air
or online, and keep our shows with you wherever you
go with our podcast on iHeartRadio.

All Episodes

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

Dateline NBC

24/7 News: The Latest

Therapy Gecko

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Full Show Podcast: 30 October 2024

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

.css-r6mb8g{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:1;overflow:hidden;}Dateline NBC

24/7 News: The Latest

Therapy Gecko

All Episodes

Full Show Podcast: 30 October 2024

Dateline NBC