October 9, 2025 • 16 mins
It's mental health awareness week in New Zealand, and Matt and Tyler are joined by author Harry Averill as he shares his own mental health battles.
Averill suffered from Anorexia as a teenager, and his book 'Hungry to be Happy' details his struggle to fight a mental battle.
Averill told Matt and Tyler that it started as a, 'chain of all these misinterpretations' which spiralled into Anorexia.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
You're listening to a podcast from News Talk zed B.
Follow this and our wide range of podcast now on iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
It is Mental Health Awareness Week, and clearly that's an
incredibly important week and clearly work in progress for a
lot of key we's out there who have gone through
their own journeys of mental health battles. And we're really
going to hear from you on O eight hundred and
eighty ten eighty if you've been through a mental health
battle and come out on the other side.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
Yeah, and I've been talking about a little bit on
this show, but I read this fantastic book by a
gentleman called Harry Everil and it's called Hungry to Be Happy.
Speaker 4 (00:42):
And he's here, he's in the studio with us.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
He certainly is get a hairy Nice to see you mate,
good eight Yeah, thanks for having me.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
Yeah, So let's get into your book and you're and
your battle with mental health and then eight hundred and
eighty ten eighty because we wanted to talk about how
you get out the other end of it, because you know,
we've had quite a lot of discussions on this.
Speaker 4 (01:01):
About how it hits people.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
But the path out is really the really the key
and that's what's one of the great things about your
book is it's epic. It's an epic journey into into
your mind. And at one point you describe it as
the demon that got into your got into your mind,
and part of your mind was working against you, which
(01:22):
but you managed to fight back against that part of
your mind, which is which it's incredible.
Speaker 4 (01:27):
Read, actually so great book.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
Tell us Harry, how your mental health struggle started, because
it's probably different than most people think these things happen.
Speaker 5 (01:37):
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, for me, it all started when I
started high school back in twenty thirteen, when I was
year nine, and I went to boarding school and made
it into this running team and I'd never really been
a runner before, but kind of happened to be, you know,
happened to be one of the few who tried really
hard on these running races and made it in and
(01:59):
I kind of just got trapped and at that point
it was kind of really difficult to get myself out
of the team, put a lot of pressure on myself,
and it all kind of stuck with just wanting to
run faster and be successful. And yeah, eventually it kind
of turned into this thing called anarexia, which I didn't
know guys could get let alone kind of happy, healthy,
(02:23):
normal Kiwi blokes. It just wasn't something that even I
thought of as a possibility. So in a way that
was kind of my That had a big part to
play the fact that I didn't know what I was
going through and it kind of just snuck up on me.
And I think of it a wee bit like a bug,
Like I just caught a bug in the same way
(02:43):
you catch a cold, right.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
So the motivation really was that you wanted to get faster,
and you wanted to be more and more disciplined, and
you wanted to be successful.
Speaker 4 (02:52):
You were very focused.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
You had an idealic childhood, idyllic childhood running around great parents,
a couple of fantastic brothers. But you had this idea
in your head that that childhood was over. You're at
high school now. You needed to succeed. So you had
this app ambition to succeed, and when it came to running,
it all all focused in on that and you were like,
to go faster. I need to be thinner, and I
(03:16):
need to exercide hard, and I need to be more
and more disciplined.
Speaker 4 (03:19):
That is that a correct analysis.
Speaker 5 (03:21):
Yes, exactly. Yeah, it was just kind of a chain
of all these misinterpretations. I kind of thought, you know,
to run faster, you have to be leaner, started losing
a bit of weight, started running faster because of all
the training, and then next minute I thought I had
to keep getting skinnier to keep getting faster. But it
was kind of the opposite. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
Right, So as a fourteen year old and you're in
that scenario and obviously you know something is not quite
right here, but you're not quite sure what it is.
I mean, did you face that, because it is an
incredible thing for anyone to go through, let alone a
fourteen year old Feller dealing with this thing called anxiety.
How did you start to figure out? Right, I there's
(03:58):
something a lot more going on here than I might
might have thought of originally.
Speaker 5 (04:03):
Yeah, Unfortunately, I kind of just thought it was all
part of growing up. Like I've been inter media primary
school and just had this really kind of perfect happy childhood,
and then arrived at high school things were a bit harder.
Wasn't feeling quite so happy. But I thought, maybe this
is just the price everyone has to pay if they
kind of want to achieve and be happy long term,
you know, get success and maybe a couple of decades
(04:24):
down the track, be happy. So I kind of just
let it slide. And then it got to the point,
like it does for a lot of people, where you're
kind of stuck and you're in a rush and you
can't really get out. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
Well, what's interesting about it is that you played a
lot of rugby, and you were playing in the front row,
and then you were moving back and wait, and then
as you lost this weight for the running, that was
a pretty clear indicator that you were losing the muscle
and size you needed to play footy.
Speaker 5 (04:50):
Yeah exactly. I would have been one of the leanest
looking hockers going around on rugby at the time. But yeah,
started losing energy and was quite clearly getting slower, running
a lot worse at rugby, and just kind of a
bit of a shadow of who I was the year before.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
And it died so fast and so hard, and you're
at an all boys school, you're a border and then
it just becomes untenable to the point where there's no
other way to say it. It got within millimeters of
killing you.
Speaker 5 (05:22):
Yeah. Yeah, And that's the scary thing. About anorexia is
that it's a physical disorder as much as it's a
mental one. The mental ones are kind of gradual decline,
the physical ones really sharp. And yeah, I got really
lucky to get into hospital. It just in the nick
of time, and I was just lucky to have the
amazing doctors and nurses who were there to keep me alive.
(05:43):
And from that point, once I got the food on
board and got the energy back, I could kind of
start making progress myself in my mind. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
Yeah, basically your heart was moments away from stopping.
Speaker 5 (05:56):
Yeah. Yeah, memory is always a bit kind of hazy
around that time, but I just remember it being pretty
serious and yeah, lots of concern and yeah, to be honest,
yeah I suppose it's just luck. And you could say
I should have been in hospital sooner, but yeah, just
lucky to be here.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
But as Mental Health Awareness Week, and we are joined
by a great New Zealander. His name is Harry Averell.
When he's written a book Hungry to Be Happy. Thanks
very much for coming in, Harry.
Speaker 4 (06:24):
Thank you so Harry.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
When we left the story, you'd been very keen to
be successful. You're a sporty young lad at an all
boys school in Napier. You're a border and you decided
to get really really good at running. Unfortunately, that ambition
introduced anorexia into your life and it nearly killed you.
And how long because you ended up losing your freedom
(06:48):
because of this, You ended up being in turned basically,
didn't you? Is it in turn the word the word
where they take you off your parents and they put
you in a hospital that you can't leave.
Speaker 5 (06:58):
Yeah, water of the state, I think, yeah, that's it.
Speaker 4 (07:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (07:00):
Yeah. I was in hospital for four weeks and that
was hospital hospital, like getting fed through a tuban, getting
the physical health back on track. And then yeah, that
was pretty tough obviously, And then got transferred down to
cy Ward and Wellington and yeah, away from family and everyone.
And that was for three months. And about the end
(07:22):
of the second month down there, that was when I
started to kind of turn a corner and finally start recovering.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
I suppose yeah, because for a while, you know, they
could feed you, but you were so determined on this thing,
and you felt such guilt about putting on weight, and
because that had gone into your head that that was
success and that was discipline that you had to be
watched twenty four hours because you were just tense up
and bid like a board, wouldn't you So because you
knew that that would that would expand energy, so you'd
(07:52):
be like, Okay, well you could force me to eat,
you can put it down my nose or whatever, but
I will just expend that energy just by tightening up.
It must be. Can you see that mindset still? Can
you understand that that mindset now that you were at
the other end.
Speaker 5 (08:08):
I kind of couldn't even see it at the time,
how irrational it was. My mind was obviously just so
malnourished and my thought loops were so kind of entrenched
at that point, I just there was no other option.
It wasn't like it was a choice. It was like,
in the same way that we have to breed, that
just felt like the only option for me. And everyone
around me was kind of acting as if it was crazy,
(08:30):
and I kind of knew it was, but for me,
it was like, there's no way out of us.
Speaker 4 (08:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
And then you realized at some point that an erxia
wasn't you, which is kind of hard to understand, but
you explain it so well in the book Hungry to
Be Happy that you realized that part of your mind
was an entity into itself that was trying to destroy you.
Speaker 5 (08:54):
Yeah, and I think everyone has a little voice at
the back of them, you know, on their shoulder or something,
kind of barking at waters at them sometimes and sometimes
that's what helps us succeed, because it's kind of motivating
us to get up and do things and succeed and
be the best versions of ourselves. But for me, it
kind of just got out of control and that and
(09:14):
a critic just went haywire and was kind of the
only voice I started hearing in my head, and it
all felt like it was me thinking these thoughts that
I need to stop eating and exercise and all this
kind of thing. But Yeah, just completely took control and
there wasn't a kind of way to fight back against it.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
It was interesting when you did fight it back against it,
you had to get into a dialogue in your own mind.
So anorexia was telling you to do things and You're going,
hang on a minute, that doesn't make any sense. This
isn't going to make my life better, it's going to
make it worse.
Speaker 5 (09:48):
Right, Yeah, exactly. And it seemed almost crazy at the time,
kind of ironically that I had to start having this
conversation with myself in my head to get through it.
But as soon as I started differentiating my thoughts, my happy,
healthy thoughts to this anorexic thing that the doctors told
me I had, that was and I started being able
(10:09):
to kind of objectively fight back against it.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
Did that journey take time when you realized that situation
and that work to talk against that critic? Can you
hear and figure out that this is that almost another
entity saying these things that aren't through? What did that
journey look like in terms of a timeframe.
Speaker 5 (10:26):
Probably a couple of yeah, two or three months, and
working with chlinical psychologists who were telling me that this
was a different part of me that I don't need
to fight. And eventually, I suppose, just with time and
with strength and energy getting feedback into me, I kind
of got the strength to start. And then a few
(10:46):
weeks later I kind of turned this massive corner and
fluck the switch, I suppose, and from that point things
have just been onwards and upwards.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
All Right afternoon it is Mental Health Awareness Week and
we are joined by Harry Averell. He's a great New
Zealand and he's written a book called Hungry to Be
Happy his journey with coming through on the other side
after battling with anorexia.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
Yeah, and it is mental health awareness weeks this timely
chat with this gentleman.
Speaker 4 (11:12):
So you've worked out you've got this.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
As the neuroscientist Ethan what doesn't Ethan Cross yet called
it the inner asshole. Sometimes we create an inner asshole
on our head that's just going at us and it's
part of us.
Speaker 4 (11:24):
But it's trying to destroy us.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
So you managed to differentiate yourself from anorexia and start
fighting back. And that was about two months after you'd
been incarcerated basically in a psychquard in Wellington away from
your family with a twenty four hour surveillance to make
sure you didn't exercise yourself to death. And so tell
us about the after that and how you came back
(11:47):
and the success that you've since experienced, especially at school.
Speaker 5 (11:51):
Yeah. So I was kind of sitting there three meals
a day at this sight quard and this platophone in
front of me, and I just slowly started fighting back
against these sorts and realizing that it wasn't me and
it was someone else. And I started objectively looking at it,
you know, like I need to eat life back. I
want to be happy again, I need to eat. This
is just means to an end, and eventually it'll be easy.
(12:13):
And so I did that, and then eventually I kind
of had this epiphany one day, sitting there in the
psych ward that I was just angry and I'd had
enough of it. I was so sick of it. My
life sucked objectively.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
So it doesn't get much more sucky than the position
you were in.
Speaker 5 (12:30):
No, And you know, my mates were there at school,
still growing up and doing this cool stuff, and there
here I was, you know, away from my family and friends,
and I just at that point I had all the
motivation I needed. In a way, I was lucky for
things to turn so badly that I had no choice
but to start getting better. And from that point it
(12:52):
was just onwards and upwards, and fighting those thoughts got
easier from that point because I was just so angry
at what it had taken from me. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:00):
Yeah, And as you said, you didn't know that anorexia
is something that can happen to males. And being a
rugby playing dude in all boys schooled did it make
it harder to admit your problems, you know, especially in
illness that's as misunderstood as anorexia.
Speaker 5 (13:15):
Yeah, definitely, And the whole exercise component of it is
probably more common with males. And that's maybe why I
slipped through the cracks at school and didn't get picked up.
And that's why I wrote the book to kind of
to raise awareness that guys can get it too, because
I think if it had been picked up sooner, it
would have been a lot easier to turn things around.
(13:37):
But yeah, it's yeah, it's strange to look back and
to think how bad things got, but I am grateful
for it in a way because it's kind of made
my mind such a nice place to be today.
Speaker 4 (13:48):
Yeah, that's interesting.
Speaker 3 (13:50):
What's the one thing that because you know, everyone has
their mental health struggles, but most of us don't end
up in a pite cord, so you've you've seen how
intense it can get. So what's the one thing that
you think people misunderstand about mental health?
Speaker 4 (14:06):
In your book, you call it.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
Mind health because because because you want to change, change
the discussion on it. But what's the thing you think
that people most misunderstand.
Speaker 5 (14:14):
I think the whole kind of misconception that that if
you've got a mental illness, maybe you're lazy, or you're
you're not fighting for me, it was the opposite, you know.
It was because I was so disciplined and strong world
I didn't even allow myself to rest and I just
exercized all the time and didn't it. So I had
(14:35):
to use that same well in a way to turn
it around. And it was a switch in my mind
of instead of putting success as the priority the whole time,
it had to be happiness. And once I made that switch,
priority shifted and life just got a whole lot easier.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Yeah, it's beautifully said. Is it an ongoing thing? You've
got that toolbox obviously that that you can utilize, And
I know there'll be a lot of people listening out
there that that it is an ongoing journey for them
to remain in that that good mindset. Is that the
same for yourself?
Speaker 5 (15:08):
Yeah? I think having gone through something like that at
such a young age as an advantage in a way,
because it's given me this whole toolbox of strategies and
things that I have in place that prevent me from
ever getting to that place again. And I'm quite confident
that it will never happen again. But yeah, it's an
ongoing thing for everyone. It's not like you can get
(15:29):
this really good level of happiness and mind health, and
it's a constant work on and putting the things in
place and your kind of lifestyle to to be happy
and the best version of yourself that you can be.
Speaker 4 (15:40):
Yeah yeah, well, good on your mate.
Speaker 3 (15:42):
And it's a harrowing story, but it's a fantastic story
and it's and you know, you've done such a good
job putting it together and putting down your thoughts in
a way that I personally just found explained explain things
in a way I'd never really heard them explain before.
So it's a great book. Hungry to Be Happy by
Harry Everell.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Go by it, give it a read in the audio
book I think has just been released as well.
Speaker 5 (16:06):
Right yeah on Spotify, Yeah yeah, yeah, lovely.
Speaker 4 (16:08):
It's a good rate.
Speaker 5 (16:09):
Yeap.
Speaker 4 (16:09):
His mum comes in and does his mums but.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Mum's a good lightly.
Speaker 4 (16:12):
I haven't heard that in an audio book before. Yeah,
it's good.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
Lover it, Harry, you're a good man. We'll catch up
again soon.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
For more from News Talk sed B, listen live on
air or online. And keep our shows with you wherever
you go with our podcasts on iHeartRadio
You're listening to a podcast from News Talk zed B.
Follow this and our wide range of podcast now on iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
It is Mental Health Awareness Week, and clearly that's an
incredibly important week and clearly work in progress for a
lot of key we's out there who have gone through
their own journeys of mental health battles. And we're really
going to hear from you on O eight hundred and
eighty ten eighty if you've been through a mental health
battle and come out on the other side.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
Yeah, and I've been talking about a little bit on
this show, but I read this fantastic book by a
gentleman called Harry Everil and it's called Hungry to Be Happy.
Speaker 4 (00:42):
And he's here, he's in the studio with us.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
He certainly is get a hairy Nice to see you mate,
good eight Yeah, thanks for having me.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
Yeah, So let's get into your book and you're and
your battle with mental health and then eight hundred and
eighty ten eighty because we wanted to talk about how
you get out the other end of it, because you know,
we've had quite a lot of discussions on this.
Speaker 4 (01:01):
About how it hits people.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
But the path out is really the really the key
and that's what's one of the great things about your
book is it's epic. It's an epic journey into into
your mind. And at one point you describe it as
the demon that got into your got into your mind,
and part of your mind was working against you, which
(01:22):
but you managed to fight back against that part of
your mind, which is which it's incredible.
Speaker 4 (01:27):
Read, actually so great book.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
Tell us Harry, how your mental health struggle started, because
it's probably different than most people think these things happen.
Speaker 5 (01:37):
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, for me, it all started when I
started high school back in twenty thirteen, when I was
year nine, and I went to boarding school and made
it into this running team and I'd never really been
a runner before, but kind of happened to be, you know,
happened to be one of the few who tried really
hard on these running races and made it in and
(01:59):
I kind of just got trapped and at that point
it was kind of really difficult to get myself out
of the team, put a lot of pressure on myself,
and it all kind of stuck with just wanting to
run faster and be successful. And yeah, eventually it kind
of turned into this thing called anarexia, which I didn't
know guys could get let alone kind of happy, healthy,
(02:23):
normal Kiwi blokes. It just wasn't something that even I
thought of as a possibility. So in a way that
was kind of my That had a big part to
play the fact that I didn't know what I was
going through and it kind of just snuck up on me.
And I think of it a wee bit like a bug,
Like I just caught a bug in the same way
(02:43):
you catch a cold, right.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
So the motivation really was that you wanted to get faster,
and you wanted to be more and more disciplined, and
you wanted to be successful.
Speaker 4 (02:52):
You were very focused.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
You had an idealic childhood, idyllic childhood running around great parents,
a couple of fantastic brothers. But you had this idea
in your head that that childhood was over. You're at
high school now. You needed to succeed. So you had
this app ambition to succeed, and when it came to running,
it all all focused in on that and you were like,
to go faster. I need to be thinner, and I
(03:16):
need to exercide hard, and I need to be more
and more disciplined.
Speaker 4 (03:19):
That is that a correct analysis.
Speaker 5 (03:21):
Yes, exactly. Yeah, it was just kind of a chain
of all these misinterpretations. I kind of thought, you know,
to run faster, you have to be leaner, started losing
a bit of weight, started running faster because of all
the training, and then next minute I thought I had
to keep getting skinnier to keep getting faster. But it
was kind of the opposite. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
Right, So as a fourteen year old and you're in
that scenario and obviously you know something is not quite
right here, but you're not quite sure what it is.
I mean, did you face that, because it is an
incredible thing for anyone to go through, let alone a
fourteen year old Feller dealing with this thing called anxiety.
How did you start to figure out? Right, I there's
(03:58):
something a lot more going on here than I might
might have thought of originally.
Speaker 5 (04:03):
Yeah, Unfortunately, I kind of just thought it was all
part of growing up. Like I've been inter media primary
school and just had this really kind of perfect happy childhood,
and then arrived at high school things were a bit harder.
Wasn't feeling quite so happy. But I thought, maybe this
is just the price everyone has to pay if they
kind of want to achieve and be happy long term,
you know, get success and maybe a couple of decades
(04:24):
down the track, be happy. So I kind of just
let it slide. And then it got to the point,
like it does for a lot of people, where you're
kind of stuck and you're in a rush and you
can't really get out. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
Well, what's interesting about it is that you played a
lot of rugby, and you were playing in the front row,
and then you were moving back and wait, and then
as you lost this weight for the running, that was
a pretty clear indicator that you were losing the muscle
and size you needed to play footy.
Speaker 5 (04:50):
Yeah exactly. I would have been one of the leanest
looking hockers going around on rugby at the time. But yeah,
started losing energy and was quite clearly getting slower, running
a lot worse at rugby, and just kind of a
bit of a shadow of who I was the year before.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
And it died so fast and so hard, and you're
at an all boys school, you're a border and then
it just becomes untenable to the point where there's no
other way to say it. It got within millimeters of
killing you.
Speaker 5 (05:22):
Yeah. Yeah, And that's the scary thing. About anorexia is
that it's a physical disorder as much as it's a
mental one. The mental ones are kind of gradual decline,
the physical ones really sharp. And yeah, I got really
lucky to get into hospital. It just in the nick
of time, and I was just lucky to have the
amazing doctors and nurses who were there to keep me alive.
(05:43):
And from that point, once I got the food on
board and got the energy back, I could kind of
start making progress myself in my mind. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
Yeah, basically your heart was moments away from stopping.
Speaker 5 (05:56):
Yeah. Yeah, memory is always a bit kind of hazy
around that time, but I just remember it being pretty
serious and yeah, lots of concern and yeah, to be honest,
yeah I suppose it's just luck. And you could say
I should have been in hospital sooner, but yeah, just
lucky to be here.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
But as Mental Health Awareness Week, and we are joined
by a great New Zealander. His name is Harry Averell.
When he's written a book Hungry to Be Happy. Thanks
very much for coming in, Harry.
Speaker 4 (06:24):
Thank you so Harry.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
When we left the story, you'd been very keen to
be successful. You're a sporty young lad at an all
boys school in Napier. You're a border and you decided
to get really really good at running. Unfortunately, that ambition
introduced anorexia into your life and it nearly killed you.
And how long because you ended up losing your freedom
(06:48):
because of this, You ended up being in turned basically,
didn't you? Is it in turn the word the word
where they take you off your parents and they put
you in a hospital that you can't leave.
Speaker 5 (06:58):
Yeah, water of the state, I think, yeah, that's it.
Speaker 4 (07:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (07:00):
Yeah. I was in hospital for four weeks and that
was hospital hospital, like getting fed through a tuban, getting
the physical health back on track. And then yeah, that
was pretty tough obviously, And then got transferred down to
cy Ward and Wellington and yeah, away from family and everyone.
And that was for three months. And about the end
(07:22):
of the second month down there, that was when I
started to kind of turn a corner and finally start recovering.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
I suppose yeah, because for a while, you know, they
could feed you, but you were so determined on this thing,
and you felt such guilt about putting on weight, and
because that had gone into your head that that was
success and that was discipline that you had to be
watched twenty four hours because you were just tense up
and bid like a board, wouldn't you So because you
knew that that would that would expand energy, so you'd
(07:52):
be like, Okay, well you could force me to eat,
you can put it down my nose or whatever, but
I will just expend that energy just by tightening up.
It must be. Can you see that mindset still? Can
you understand that that mindset now that you were at
the other end.
Speaker 5 (08:08):
I kind of couldn't even see it at the time,
how irrational it was. My mind was obviously just so
malnourished and my thought loops were so kind of entrenched
at that point, I just there was no other option.
It wasn't like it was a choice. It was like,
in the same way that we have to breed, that
just felt like the only option for me. And everyone
around me was kind of acting as if it was crazy,
(08:30):
and I kind of knew it was, but for me,
it was like, there's no way out of us.
Speaker 4 (08:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
And then you realized at some point that an erxia
wasn't you, which is kind of hard to understand, but
you explain it so well in the book Hungry to
Be Happy that you realized that part of your mind
was an entity into itself that was trying to destroy you.
Speaker 5 (08:54):
Yeah, and I think everyone has a little voice at
the back of them, you know, on their shoulder or something,
kind of barking at waters at them sometimes and sometimes
that's what helps us succeed, because it's kind of motivating
us to get up and do things and succeed and
be the best versions of ourselves. But for me, it
kind of just got out of control and that and
(09:14):
a critic just went haywire and was kind of the
only voice I started hearing in my head, and it
all felt like it was me thinking these thoughts that
I need to stop eating and exercise and all this
kind of thing. But Yeah, just completely took control and
there wasn't a kind of way to fight back against it.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
It was interesting when you did fight it back against it,
you had to get into a dialogue in your own mind.
So anorexia was telling you to do things and You're going,
hang on a minute, that doesn't make any sense. This
isn't going to make my life better, it's going to
make it worse.
Speaker 5 (09:48):
Right, Yeah, exactly. And it seemed almost crazy at the time,
kind of ironically that I had to start having this
conversation with myself in my head to get through it.
But as soon as I started differentiating my thoughts, my happy,
healthy thoughts to this anorexic thing that the doctors told
me I had, that was and I started being able
(10:09):
to kind of objectively fight back against it.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
Did that journey take time when you realized that situation
and that work to talk against that critic? Can you
hear and figure out that this is that almost another
entity saying these things that aren't through? What did that
journey look like in terms of a timeframe.
Speaker 5 (10:26):
Probably a couple of yeah, two or three months, and
working with chlinical psychologists who were telling me that this
was a different part of me that I don't need
to fight. And eventually, I suppose, just with time and
with strength and energy getting feedback into me, I kind
of got the strength to start. And then a few
(10:46):
weeks later I kind of turned this massive corner and
fluck the switch, I suppose, and from that point things
have just been onwards and upwards.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
All Right afternoon it is Mental Health Awareness Week and
we are joined by Harry Averell. He's a great New
Zealand and he's written a book called Hungry to Be
Happy his journey with coming through on the other side
after battling with anorexia.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
Yeah, and it is mental health awareness weeks this timely
chat with this gentleman.
Speaker 4 (11:12):
So you've worked out you've got this.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
As the neuroscientist Ethan what doesn't Ethan Cross yet called
it the inner asshole. Sometimes we create an inner asshole
on our head that's just going at us and it's
part of us.
Speaker 4 (11:24):
But it's trying to destroy us.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
So you managed to differentiate yourself from anorexia and start
fighting back. And that was about two months after you'd
been incarcerated basically in a psychquard in Wellington away from
your family with a twenty four hour surveillance to make
sure you didn't exercise yourself to death. And so tell
us about the after that and how you came back
(11:47):
and the success that you've since experienced, especially at school.
Speaker 5 (11:51):
Yeah. So I was kind of sitting there three meals
a day at this sight quard and this platophone in
front of me, and I just slowly started fighting back
against these sorts and realizing that it wasn't me and
it was someone else. And I started objectively looking at it,
you know, like I need to eat life back. I
want to be happy again, I need to eat. This
is just means to an end, and eventually it'll be easy.
(12:13):
And so I did that, and then eventually I kind
of had this epiphany one day, sitting there in the
psych ward that I was just angry and I'd had
enough of it. I was so sick of it. My
life sucked objectively.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
So it doesn't get much more sucky than the position
you were in.
Speaker 5 (12:30):
No, And you know, my mates were there at school,
still growing up and doing this cool stuff, and there
here I was, you know, away from my family and friends,
and I just at that point I had all the
motivation I needed. In a way, I was lucky for
things to turn so badly that I had no choice
but to start getting better. And from that point it
(12:52):
was just onwards and upwards, and fighting those thoughts got
easier from that point because I was just so angry
at what it had taken from me. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:00):
Yeah, And as you said, you didn't know that anorexia
is something that can happen to males. And being a
rugby playing dude in all boys schooled did it make
it harder to admit your problems, you know, especially in
illness that's as misunderstood as anorexia.
Speaker 5 (13:15):
Yeah, definitely, And the whole exercise component of it is
probably more common with males. And that's maybe why I
slipped through the cracks at school and didn't get picked up.
And that's why I wrote the book to kind of
to raise awareness that guys can get it too, because
I think if it had been picked up sooner, it
would have been a lot easier to turn things around.
(13:37):
But yeah, it's yeah, it's strange to look back and
to think how bad things got, but I am grateful
for it in a way because it's kind of made
my mind such a nice place to be today.
Speaker 4 (13:48):
Yeah, that's interesting.
Speaker 3 (13:50):
What's the one thing that because you know, everyone has
their mental health struggles, but most of us don't end
up in a pite cord, so you've you've seen how
intense it can get. So what's the one thing that
you think people misunderstand about mental health?
Speaker 4 (14:06):
In your book, you call it.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
Mind health because because because you want to change, change
the discussion on it. But what's the thing you think
that people most misunderstand.
Speaker 5 (14:14):
I think the whole kind of misconception that that if
you've got a mental illness, maybe you're lazy, or you're
you're not fighting for me, it was the opposite, you know.
It was because I was so disciplined and strong world
I didn't even allow myself to rest and I just
exercized all the time and didn't it. So I had
(14:35):
to use that same well in a way to turn
it around. And it was a switch in my mind
of instead of putting success as the priority the whole time,
it had to be happiness. And once I made that switch,
priority shifted and life just got a whole lot easier.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Yeah, it's beautifully said. Is it an ongoing thing? You've
got that toolbox obviously that that you can utilize, And
I know there'll be a lot of people listening out
there that that it is an ongoing journey for them
to remain in that that good mindset. Is that the
same for yourself?
Speaker 5 (15:08):
Yeah? I think having gone through something like that at
such a young age as an advantage in a way,
because it's given me this whole toolbox of strategies and
things that I have in place that prevent me from
ever getting to that place again. And I'm quite confident
that it will never happen again. But yeah, it's an
ongoing thing for everyone. It's not like you can get
(15:29):
this really good level of happiness and mind health, and
it's a constant work on and putting the things in
place and your kind of lifestyle to to be happy
and the best version of yourself that you can be.
Speaker 4 (15:40):
Yeah yeah, well, good on your mate.
Speaker 3 (15:42):
And it's a harrowing story, but it's a fantastic story
and it's and you know, you've done such a good
job putting it together and putting down your thoughts in
a way that I personally just found explained explain things
in a way I'd never really heard them explain before.
So it's a great book. Hungry to Be Happy by
Harry Everell.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Go by it, give it a read in the audio
book I think has just been released as well.
Speaker 5 (16:06):
Right yeah on Spotify, Yeah yeah, yeah, lovely.
Speaker 4 (16:08):
It's a good rate.
Speaker 5 (16:09):
Yeap.
Speaker 4 (16:09):
His mum comes in and does his mums but.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Mum's a good lightly.
Speaker 4 (16:12):
I haven't heard that in an audio book before. Yeah,
it's good.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
Lover it, Harry, you're a good man. We'll catch up
again soon.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
For more from News Talk sed B, listen live on
air or online. And keep our shows with you wherever
you go with our podcasts on iHeartRadio
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