Without Sound

What would you do if everything you knew was crumbling down around you? In this first episode of RNZ Podcast, Only Human, find out about an invisible disability that took musician Penni Bousfield on a path to re-learn everything she had ever known.

"You might have heard reports of sudden deafness syndrome where someone has a bad cold and they wake up the next morning and they can't walk and they can't hear properly."

"That was what happened to me," says Penni Bousfield who features in the first episode of RNZ's freshly launched podcast, Only Human - a series of unexpected, raw personal portraits.

Bousfield is one of 6 percent of the population with otosclerosis.

For some sufferers, otosclerosis can run in the family, while for others there is no known reason for the onset of hearing loss.

A musician for most of her life, Bousfield began experiencing hearing difficulties in her left ear when she was in her early twenties. By her forties she started wearing a hearing aid.

Otosclerosis is one of the few forms of hearing loss that can be rectified with surgery, so the decision to undergo a stapedectomy had the potential to dramatically improve her hearing.

"My middle ear was steadily getting worse and I thought it was worth it," Bousfield says of the operation.

But three days following the procedure, Bousfield says every possible thing that could go wrong went wrong.

She experienced a constant whooshing feeling in her head, which lasted several months, along with head rushes and severe loss of balance. Basic everyday tasks were difficult and she needed a walking stick to assist her.

"The first week or two I was totally in denial ," she says.

But while the surgery threw her physically off balance, her inability to tackle normal everyday activities also sent her into a downward spiral of depression.

Bousfield's hearing loss was an invisible disability that affected her work opportunities, but also her social life.

"I can't differentiate between reflected sound, echoes reverberation and direct sound," says Bousfield.

Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details