All Episodes

August 22, 2025 • 18 mins

It's just Leigh and Matt talking about Parenting advice and bagging other podcasts.

Get set for a full-on assault on your sense of humour as Leigh and sparring partner Matt Ward delve into the big topics of the week.

Follow the boys on Instagram: @paidtotalk_podcast

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mark as Played
Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
This is an iHeartRadio New Zealand podcast.

Speaker 2 (00:30):
Did Johanna Apple Simon? I'm open dating this all right?

Speaker 1 (00:34):
Well?

Speaker 3 (00:35):
I hey, welcome along once again to another episode of
Paid to Talk with Lee Hart and Matt Ward lober Denache,
where we are paid to talk, but you're not paid
to listen. We're live from the Eco Lodge once again. Lee, jeez,
it's nice to be here, isn't it.

Speaker 4 (00:48):
Yeah, I'm glad you brought that up, Matt, and I
think a lot of the guests feel this way.

Speaker 2 (00:51):
You feel you're out of the city. It's easy for
people to.

Speaker 4 (00:55):
Be themselves, be honest, share their innermost feelings with us,
put themselves on the line, put themselves out there, sharing
their lives with New Zeanders with every day kiwis. Plus
I can so right off for tanksess as well, which
is a bit of a bonus, but that's not what
we're doing.

Speaker 2 (01:10):
And no guests this week.

Speaker 1 (01:11):
No, I don't need one.

Speaker 2 (01:12):
I wasn't. I knew that, so we don't have one.

Speaker 1 (01:14):
I think we had one, but they canceled.

Speaker 2 (01:16):
Okay, but I don't think we need one this week.

Speaker 4 (01:18):
I think there's an opportunity I think for the listeners
to get to know you better and get.

Speaker 2 (01:22):
To know me better.

Speaker 1 (01:23):
It's a bit of a trick to the ecologies and
that maybe we start giving them a pictrol about.

Speaker 4 (01:26):
You know, I've actually been listening to a lot of
other podcasts since I've been doing this podcast. That's to
get a comparison a that don't sound half as good
because of the ecologic environment. A lot of them are
very thin on research, You'll be quite honest, a lot
of them looked like they just made it up as
they went.

Speaker 3 (01:40):
It's almost as if they just sat down in front
of two microphones and they're just trying to pad out
for thirty minutes and padding out.

Speaker 4 (01:47):
You know, I'm not offering anything new from other podcasts.
All the same guests have been on every other podcast exactly.

Speaker 3 (01:55):
Any any podcast in particular that you've been listening to,
thinking God, that shit.

Speaker 4 (01:59):
I don't want to name which podcast is the only
I think you should at the moment. There's too many
to name. Actually, I will say that I'm very proud
of this one, how it's developing and where it's going.
And look, you can you can learn from the people's podcasts,
but they can learn from this as well, so you know,
it's give and take for you.

Speaker 3 (02:16):
I mean, we've done a few now favorite podcasts today. Well, jeez,
it's hard to was I was enjoying that mushroom one.
I mean, it wasn't good for the people involved in
that scenario, but geez, tell you what deathcap mushrooms. I
feel like the Beef Wellington.

Speaker 2 (02:29):
More of our.

Speaker 4 (02:29):
Podcasts, the ones we've done, Yeah, you know, I mean,
I'm saying you were big on the MOA one.

Speaker 2 (02:34):
I think you know we're bringing.

Speaker 1 (02:35):
Yeah, Morgan Penn, Yeah, sex stuff, the six stuff. Geez,
there was eye opening.

Speaker 4 (02:41):
So this is what's different about us as a podcast. Hey,
we can go to science one minute. We can go education.
You know Riley the shark Man for example, we talk
to man eath, you name it.

Speaker 2 (02:52):
We talk to personalities and we educate people.

Speaker 3 (02:54):
And you know what, it is a two way street
as well. So if you want to, you know, drop
us a bit of feedback, or if you're wondering where
the hell you can get this podcast, you know we've
got iHeartRadio, you can listen to it. We've got Moonflex,
you can watch the damn Thing.

Speaker 4 (03:07):
Or I've heard them say this as well. On podcasts
or wherever you get your podcasts.

Speaker 3 (03:11):
Your podcasts exactly, because there's plenty of places to get
those podcasts. Droppers are rating as well, you know, out
of well preferably the five star would be good if
you get what's the point going on.

Speaker 1 (03:19):
I mean, you've got to be a bit of a
miserable bust to do.

Speaker 2 (03:23):
If you put a bad rating, we won't be here.

Speaker 1 (03:24):
There's no way to delete them, not that we've had
any I.

Speaker 2 (03:27):
Don't know about. That's more of a technical kind of thing.

Speaker 4 (03:29):
Maybe want to talk to Scotty or maybe Nigel about that,
but I actually know Nigel's no longer with us.

Speaker 1 (03:35):
Actually Scotty then.

Speaker 2 (03:37):
No, I don't know if that's Scotty's area, to be honest.

Speaker 1 (03:39):
It's like Scotty got a promotion, is he okay doing
that stuff anyway?

Speaker 4 (03:43):
Well, I think Nigel's still about. Well, we'll have a
chatam about that how we can change those kinds of things.
For me, my favorite podcast we've done is probably the
Poking Horn one. I love the crime ones. You know,
I mean, what a story really involved the whole nation?
People were riveted by every every so.

Speaker 1 (03:57):
You're not talking about the podcasts we've done. You're talking
about a different podcast now.

Speaker 2 (04:00):
Didn't we do a pokingon one? No we didn't.

Speaker 4 (04:03):
Okay, sorry, I thought something to listen to us it Okay,
well I thought it was great.

Speaker 2 (04:08):
Whoever did it? That was fantastic podcasts.

Speaker 4 (04:10):
Hey, but enough now that, let's bring it into the
real world today, right here and now, and look at
this podcast.

Speaker 2 (04:16):
Let's go to a sting.

Speaker 4 (04:20):
Energy is up right now, isn't it.

Speaker 2 (04:25):
I bet you're wondering what the topic today is.

Speaker 3 (04:27):
Well, yeah, exactly, Well, because we've done lots of hard hitting,
deep diving subjects and topics, you know, just getting down
into the issues.

Speaker 1 (04:34):
Yep. And yeah, the.

Speaker 4 (04:36):
Issue Special that was another good one. Well, the topic
today is, and I sort of brought this on your behalf. Really,
it's parenting, but particularly fatherhood. You're a relatively new father.
We both have fathers, and I've been a father.

Speaker 2 (04:52):
For a little bit longer.

Speaker 4 (04:53):
So I suppose we're going to have a discussion about parenting,
particularly the challenges have been a father and the modern age,
but AI and porn and all that and how we
deal with all that sort of stuff. Yeah, So how's
it going, I mean, with your kids.

Speaker 3 (05:06):
At moment, I thought you were going to give me
advice because I was trying to get it. Well, it's funny,
I asked that, actually, because I've got a four year
old and a two year old, and the more time
I spin with them, the more I feel like I'm
kind of a bounce through at a bar. And the
mental state of a toddler and a four year old
is kind of like that of a drunk addut because
at three third in the morning, Yeah, yeah, so you're

(05:29):
sort of standing there and there's someone standing in the
corner crying for no reason. There's someone sitting on the toilet,
but they want to keep the conversation going, so they
leave the door open. There's someone standing on a table dancing. Yeah,
there's one that you've sort of taken upstairs and you
think you've put them to bed, and they reappear ten
minutes later at a party.

Speaker 2 (05:46):
Still someone shaped themselves.

Speaker 3 (05:47):
Yeah, someone shaped themselves exactly, and.

Speaker 2 (05:51):
The next day they don't seem to remember anything about
it exactly.

Speaker 3 (05:53):
And I think that the bouncers actually have it easier
because you can actually keep drunk people out.

Speaker 2 (05:58):
Ye, out of sight, out of mind.

Speaker 4 (06:00):
But you've got to carry on as a parent if
you know, you just don't parent for five minutes. They're
there for life. Yeah, I mean you're going through an
interesting stage that that four and two. You at to
make the most of that though, I remember that very clearly.
You've got to remember your kids at that age still
think you're cool. They're still gonna ask for ever. You know,
they'll see through you in a matter of you know,

(06:21):
matter of years. You know, you've got to make the
most of being cool dad at the moment because they
don't know what sort of loser you are at the moment.

Speaker 2 (06:28):
Not yet.

Speaker 3 (06:29):
How long does it take because at what age did
your kids realize you're a loser?

Speaker 4 (06:33):
Well, I think they would realize it, and that I
would sort of convince him I was and they'd realize that.
Eventually they realized, you know, he's human, that they still
love me. I'm sure that the best thing you can
do is double down. You've got to play them off
the mother, because the mother has a maternal advantage that
you don't have. You know, i mean, guys world or
one in the trenches are dying, who they call for

(06:54):
their dad?

Speaker 2 (06:55):
No that it's called for their mom.

Speaker 4 (06:56):
The mom has that connection with a child that we
don't inherently have, so we have to force it and
steal it if we have to. Case in point, I
would say to my kids, Hey, kids, you want to
go to Rainbow's End.

Speaker 2 (07:09):
They're go yeah, yeah, and then you go, sorry, Mom
doesn't want to go. You know, you can't. Mum's not key,
you know.

Speaker 4 (07:16):
So all of a sudden, I look kind of cool. Oh,
good old dad would have taken us. Mom didn't want
to go. I didn't want to go either, but they
don't know that, you know. Another example might be you
can actually fabricate it beyond that. What do you want
for dinner? KFC on McDonald's and they'll go, oh, McDonald's.
Apparently mum's made a fresh pie, you know, and you're

(07:36):
going to have to and then you're all eating it
together and you're going, God with the cool dad. We
could go and have McDonald's now, but we have to
have this fresh pie, you know.

Speaker 2 (07:46):
And then you can double down.

Speaker 4 (07:47):
You go, come on, kids, eat mum's fish pie. She
went a lot of trouble there.

Speaker 1 (07:52):
You're almost a bit of a double agent.

Speaker 3 (07:54):
You're sort of like a Russian spy, so you just
want to make sure that the two governments aren't talking
to each other, because they could really come back to
bite you in the arse.

Speaker 2 (08:02):
Well, you can go as far as I did, and
you put them into teams.

Speaker 4 (08:04):
You sort of go, me and the two kids, kids
with the A team. O, Mum, she's beating you know.
If it's mum and the kids, they kind of become
the B team with me with fun dad.

Speaker 2 (08:15):
It's the A team.

Speaker 4 (08:16):
So you've got to make the most of that before
they see through that that blatant manipulation.

Speaker 1 (08:21):
What if any did that have on your sex life?

Speaker 4 (08:25):
I didn't affect it too badly because youve got to
remember she would have been totally unaware of this. This
isou stuff going on behind the scenes.

Speaker 1 (08:32):
You know that that that of manipulation that sort of underdo.

Speaker 4 (08:36):
But as well meaning as I say, being mysterious to
your kids, do don't be there all the time.

Speaker 1 (08:42):
And you can flip it, can't you.

Speaker 3 (08:43):
You can go to your wife and say, oh, the
kids keep banging on about getting McDonald's and KC. But
I told them no, Yes, she's made a bloody fish pie.

Speaker 4 (08:52):
He said, exactly right. You say to them, you know
that they can't have McDonald's. I've told them that, you've
actually told them the opposite. Tell you what sold that thought.
We're just going to go to a quick break and
get our thoughts together.

Speaker 3 (09:07):
Welcome back to pay to Talk with Lee Hart and
myself lorber Denache and we like from the ecologe, we're
doing a bit of a appearenting, specially a deep dive.
Have you like deep dive into parenting, particularly fatherhood.

Speaker 4 (09:20):
Yeah, a lot of the stuff. I was going to say,
you take the grain of salt, but no, you should
really listen to this. You don't get a manual when
you get a kids, and you know that. But some
of this advice that may seem a little bit extreme,
but I think it works. I mean, just in summary,
we've talked about playing the kids of their mum, you know,
keeping that cool dad exterior appearance at all times, because

(09:42):
eventually they're going to see through you and see what
kind of lose you are, and then you've got to work.

Speaker 2 (09:46):
Your way back up again.

Speaker 1 (09:47):
It's a taking time bomb.

Speaker 2 (09:48):
Yeah, I'm like my father.

Speaker 4 (09:50):
He was always a tough taskmaster, but he was mysterious.

Speaker 2 (09:54):
He was always at work.

Speaker 4 (09:55):
We never knew when he was going to come home
a be like us, So you don't want to be
at home the whole time running around and being cool
dad playing with them twenty four to seven.

Speaker 2 (10:04):
That's great when you can do it, just be mysterious.

Speaker 4 (10:08):
And that they'll enjoy that even more. Like here, for example,
they don't know what you do when you leave home.
They don't know you go off and do some sort
of loser podcast thing. They don't know that. So the
less they know, the better, you know, keep that mystery going,
especially this podcast exactly, because once they find out what
you do for a living, I'm going, oh, is that
paying money? Oh, you's got a better job than that

(10:29):
doing a podcast.

Speaker 1 (10:30):
Cool.

Speaker 2 (10:31):
Have you got a sponsor yet?

Speaker 4 (10:32):
Yeah? Mom says you haven't got a sponsor. You know,
it becomes quite challenging, that.

Speaker 2 (10:37):
Kind of thing. You know that better than anyone.

Speaker 4 (10:39):
I remember with my father once when I first saw
a totally human side of him. The best way of
putting it. We're in UK, he was working on the
Channel Tunnel. He got me a job over there. So
I was about nineteen twenty brother similar age, slightly older.
We were living with my parents for a few months
before we got our own accommodation. I remember hitting that
little sort of detached house living in England, little sort

(11:01):
of town, a little lawn on the back. You know,
I'm just painting a picture for you, and I was
pretty hungover. And Dad is always very good. He could
he could sniff and sense that. That's when he would
make you do jobs. So he said, get out there
and mow the lawn, says, tiny lawn by the size
of this, you know, this room. And he had one
of these ridiculous sort of electric plug in flym oh.

Speaker 2 (11:23):
You go on the lawn like this.

Speaker 4 (11:24):
You know, some's out there hungover, plugged and pushing around
and not you know, making much headway. And that sort
of thing really annoys him because he's quite hard assed
with jobs and he had enough watching me doing this,
and he says, give hi him a headache.

Speaker 2 (11:38):
He storms out.

Speaker 4 (11:39):
Grabs, pushes me off, grabs the fly mooh, says I'll
show you how it's done, starts, you know, heaving it
around the lawn and I'm standing back, okay, and all
of a sudden clunk, oh god, here we go.

Speaker 2 (11:50):
We've hit a rock.

Speaker 4 (11:52):
We flipped the flymo over and there's a tortoise and
paled if like on the on the blade, so you
just piture that. So I like the tortoises on the
on the blade. It's still alive, of course, and this
is a shock to my brother and myself who both
hung over watching this, and and we remove it.

Speaker 2 (12:12):
And first of all, do we have are they wild here?
We're not quite sure how this works.

Speaker 4 (12:16):
There must be And you know Dad, he grew up
on a farm and stuff, and he was very staunched.
We obviously had to put the tortoise out of its misery,
so he said, son, go inside and get the kitchen knife,
you know. So I go in and get the big
the biggest sharpest kitchen ulf I can. Again came out,
and he was trying to sort of decapitate it, to
put it out of his misery, because's obviously in pain

(12:39):
problem being a tortoise. Every time he went to, you know,
do the guillotine sort of stroke, it would just suck
his little head back in again.

Speaker 2 (12:48):
You know.

Speaker 4 (12:48):
It went on for five minutes. Yeah, and it's actually
was getting quite painful to watch this. His poor tortoise
was there, and Dad's trying his best to euthanize it.
Brother and I hung over watching this going this is
this is the worst morning we've had. So Dad had
enough and said, I'll just have to do this properly.
So he just so you know, put them life right

(13:09):
into the sholler us bost yeah, and and sort of
minced it up, I suppose, you know.

Speaker 2 (13:15):
And that was the quickest way of of you that.

Speaker 4 (13:18):
I mean, it's a pretty horrible story to tell on them,
you know, a family chance show about parenting. And so
then I tossed it into the bin at the front.
And then we're sitting watching TV some sport that was
on TV three of us in the lounge there. Then
there's a knock on the door, so I get up
answer it, and so next our neighbors standing there, you know,
and he he sort of hated us anyway, because we

(13:39):
were parking our cars on the lawn all the time,
like this sort of Kiwi Bergan family without a word
of a lie.

Speaker 2 (13:44):
He goes, look, you haven't seen our pet tortoise.

Speaker 4 (13:49):
Have you. He goes wandering around sometimes free ranging, and
I was kind of shocked, you know, I was put
on the spot. So I sort of turned around and
yelled back into the house that anyone's seeing a tortoise.
Anyone's seen the tortoise thebot like thirty seconds sign and
it's ten seconds.

Speaker 2 (14:08):
Dad goes.

Speaker 1 (14:10):
Not.

Speaker 4 (14:13):
From that day on, I knew he was human, you know,
and he too can make mistakes, and you know, and
that tortoises aren't in the world. They actually can be pets.
So you know, I learned a lot that day about parenting.
Sometimes it's best to deny things, you know, by being honest,
he wasn't making anything better. I don't know how to
go on to that story, but or if it helps
you in any way, I've just got a visual of

(14:34):
a minced up tortoise. Yeah, yeah, what was the moral
of that story? If there's a moral, a such is
just that everyone's human fallible, and anybody can can kill
a tortoise with a lawmwer, I suppose, And it's how
you deal with killing the tortoise with the lawn mower
is the most important thing the journey, if you like.
So the messages. He could have been honest and said, yes,

(14:56):
I killed your tortoise with a lawmower. Then I minced
it up with a bread knife. But I don't think
that's going to make him feel any better.

Speaker 2 (15:03):
No, if you know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (15:04):
It's a pretty good advertisement for the lawnmower, to be fair,
I don't know about that. And tato shells are pretty hard.

Speaker 2 (15:09):
Yeah, it just didn't do the lawn that well, that's all.

Speaker 1 (15:11):
No, grass must have been pretty long to it was.

Speaker 4 (15:13):
It was probably too long for that sort of style
of plymo. Probably needed a sort of the big model
weed work out with the bigger braid.

Speaker 3 (15:21):
Yeah, trying to think of similar stories from my upbringing
that none really match killing a tortoise with a bread
knife and a lamarr.

Speaker 2 (15:31):
Think life's not fair is the message he was really trying.

Speaker 1 (15:33):
To, certainly not for that bloody taught us.

Speaker 2 (15:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (15:36):
I might just interrupt you there for a moment, and
we're just going to take a quick break and we'll
be back with more on the parenting special shortly.

Speaker 4 (15:42):
No good timing. Welcome back. Hope you enjoyed that break.
We certainly did, and we certainly needed it. We're talking parenting, fatherhood,
how to be a cool dad here?

Speaker 3 (15:55):
Do you have any more tips on on sort of
prolonging that period of because you know that there is
that threshold of your kids realizing you a bit of
a loser.

Speaker 1 (16:03):
But they think you're a hero. You'll become cool.

Speaker 2 (16:05):
Again, you become relevant. You'll go through a stage when
they're in about ten firs.

Speaker 4 (16:09):
You know, they just go to their mum and become
very mumsy and you really are irrelevant then. And then
later on when the later teenagers they started to think
you're coolian.

Speaker 3 (16:20):
Is it around the time and they start to steal
the booze out of your looking it and about the.

Speaker 4 (16:24):
Time they need money again. Yeah, you know, it comes
back down to money. As I say, life's not fair.
I've often tell the story of my father. You know,
back those days, he used to give us a strap.
You know, it always used to be a case of
from mom way to your father gets home, so it's going, okay,
we'll get you know, sure enough, you'd come home tired.
You know, he had no intention of really, you know,
strapping us. But we've done something wrong, you'd get the strap.

(16:46):
And then one time he got us in the bedroom
and said go get the strap. And you know, we've
done nothing wrong. We'd actually done nothing wrong, and he's
put your hand out a couple of each and he
strapped us. We said, what's what's that for? And he
said that's for all the stuff I haven't caught you
for this week. Ah, smart genius, because we knew we've
done a lot of stuff and had an you're not

(17:08):
going to push back on that.

Speaker 2 (17:09):
You know we couldn't ague with them. I'm surprised to
need us more.

Speaker 1 (17:11):
You don't know, you don't really want them to tag
on that. Three D don't ever done anything.

Speaker 4 (17:15):
I said, Dad, that's not fair. He goes, Life's not fair.
There you go, exactly parenting.

Speaker 1 (17:21):
There's a life to listen for you. You can't do
that anymore, though, there just could.

Speaker 4 (17:25):
Informercial, you know, I live a pretty active lifestyle, so
if I want to snack, I've got to do it
on the go, introducing snacker Janggie using one's oldest and most.

Speaker 2 (17:36):
Trusted potato chips lead from one.

Speaker 4 (17:39):
Three Range Potatoes introducing once again my favorite prawn cocktail.

Speaker 2 (17:46):
Tell him I sent you.

Speaker 1 (17:49):
Geez, you've got some good straps.

Speaker 3 (17:50):
I mean, in an episode a few weeks ago, you're
talking about a what you're the most strapped.

Speaker 2 (17:55):
The caning could at school?

Speaker 3 (17:56):
Yep, getting caned on the ass. That's actually a bit
of a theme the in the episodes as well. It
takes me back to more limp in with the six ology.

Speaker 2 (18:03):
Yeah, we didn't actually talk too much about that kind
of stuff.

Speaker 1 (18:07):
Did we came up?

Speaker 2 (18:08):
Did it roll?

Speaker 1 (18:09):
No more than ass?

Speaker 2 (18:10):
Oh yeah, oh certainly it came up. The ass came up,
but not the not the striking of the battling.

Speaker 1 (18:16):
Maybe we get it back in for the for that
sort of thing were you really get into the more.
We'll get it back in for sure. We'll get it
back in for sure. Hey.

Speaker 4 (18:22):
Remember, if you've got questions for matter myself for a
future podcast, send them into pay to Talk.

Speaker 2 (18:26):
We've got a website of them.

Speaker 1 (18:27):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (18:27):
Well, I'm going to tell you what. We've got an
Instagram page to Talk. I've also got a Facebook page,
and you know, I just jump onto wherever you listen
to the podcast, give it a rating.

Speaker 1 (18:36):
You can actually there's a little comment section. You can
even just start some question there if you.

Speaker 4 (18:41):
And I just want to say, as we finished up,
no animals at tortoises or tortai were harmed during this episode.

Speaker 2 (18:47):
It was an unfortunate incident. It was no one's fault
and it just had to be told. That's all. I think.

Speaker 1 (18:51):
It was a rapid at the bottom of the spa
here though, oh yeah, to get that out.

Speaker 2 (18:57):
See you next time.
Advertise With Us

Popular Podcasts

Stuff You Should Know
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark

My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark

My Favorite Murder is a true crime comedy podcast hosted by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark. Each week, Karen and Georgia share compelling true crimes and hometown stories from friends and listeners. Since MFM launched in January of 2016, Karen and Georgia have shared their lifelong interest in true crime and have covered stories of infamous serial killers like the Night Stalker, mysterious cold cases, captivating cults, incredible survivor stories and important events from history like the Tulsa race massacre of 1921. My Favorite Murder is part of the Exactly Right podcast network that provides a platform for bold, creative voices to bring to life provocative, entertaining and relatable stories for audiences everywhere. The Exactly Right roster of podcasts covers a variety of topics including historic true crime, comedic interviews and news, science, pop culture and more. Podcasts on the network include Buried Bones with Kate Winkler Dawson and Paul Holes, That's Messed Up: An SVU Podcast, This Podcast Will Kill You, Bananas and more.

The Joe Rogan Experience

The Joe Rogan Experience

The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.

Music, radio and podcasts, all free. Listen online or download the iHeart App.

Connect

© 2025 iHeartMedia, Inc.