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September 11, 2024 • 34 mins

WATCH THE FULL EPISODE ON OUR YOUTUBE CHANNEL HERE!

ACC Head G Lane joins Manaia Stewart to break down the first Presidential Debate between Trump & Kamala (0:00) before reacting to the All Whites bringing football home (2:51) and the future of live sports watching (4:37)...

Then the fellas cross live to Lions royalty Brad Shields to preview Wellington's Ranfurly Shield challenge against Tasman this weekend (10:31) and share his best Eddie Jones stories from his time in England (18:10).

Finally, they get to a scathing review of the state of the ACC in 'Yours Please' (21:38).

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Life from the Export Beer Guden Studio and brought to
you was always by Export Ultra the beer for here.
This is the Agenda Podcast for Thursday, the twelfth of September.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
The Agenda Podcast the home of Sporting Nonsense and clap Trap,
brought to you by Niggsport a Vulture.

Speaker 1 (00:16):
Later on the podcast, Brad Shields is going to be
joining us the Wellington Lions Storm Week this week. Last
night they played against Otago they won. They have the
Shield Challenge this week. So weapon Brad Shields. Yeah, yes,
you see him on the field. He's got that bag,
he's got the beard that like all those Argentinian players have. Yeah,
the big kind of big that increases his jaw by
about ten Yeah, bugger coming up against him twice in

(00:38):
one week. But he didn't play last night. But yeah,
we'll pick his brain on. I don't know if he's
won the Shield or not.

Speaker 3 (00:44):
No, I don't think he has. I think he has.

Speaker 1 (00:46):
How you go contesting for the Shield in the Storm
Week And I want to know a bit about that
wasps thing because it still confused me that there was
a team and then there wasn't a team anyway. That's
coming up later on. We sort of glossed over it yesterday.
But how did you mark nine to eleven.

Speaker 3 (01:01):
By watching the presidential debate? Oh my god, yes, Oh
my god. Like that was one of the funniest ship
I've ever seen in my life. Like I was lolling
around laughing and in the office I was ruffling around
the off because some of the ship mayo, my ass off.
Some of the ship that Trump was saying was probably

(01:21):
one of some of the funniest shiver here, like getting
cats and dogs and they're it in the dogs.

Speaker 1 (01:25):
Again, the cats in the pats and the cats they're
in the dogs.

Speaker 3 (01:29):
How do you I mean he's talking about there are
bording babies after they're born.

Speaker 1 (01:34):
Yeah, what if sometimes after the burn? That's what I'm hearing.
That's what they're doing. Was there at CapMan on, Yeah,
I've got to work on the I've got to work
on my Trump. No, that's how That's how I marked it. Yeah,
the memes were out of control straight away as well
while the debate was still going on. The most salient

(01:55):
point I thought I saw was if you went into
a job interview and said half the ship that he
just said, that, you'd be escorted out of the building.
I love it.

Speaker 3 (02:03):
I want him to be president again, purely for the comedy. Yeah,
we don't live in that country, so I don't care
what I do not care. And if they he gets
voted and it's on them. But if they do vote them,
and it's gonna be fucking hilarious.

Speaker 1 (02:15):
Yeah it is. I've been walking around asking people did
you know that they were eating dogs and cats over there?

Speaker 3 (02:23):
Trying to say the migrants were ravaging Springfield by cats
and hilarious. Anyway, we don't even Delvin Apolyodets batters as
politically as we're going to get.

Speaker 1 (02:33):
There was another thing that it was like he clearly
thinks that people asylum seekers are people who have broken
out of asylums.

Speaker 3 (02:40):
Oh he said mental asylum as well. Yeah, Like he
was just dropping these bombs.

Speaker 1 (02:44):
I can illegal aliens. It's just tremendous for the memes.
Sticking with a miracle because we were stuck on an
American channel from watching that yesterday. This morning they were
playing a sports show, Yeah, and one of the topics
was the All Whites. Yeah, because they drew one all
with Team USA yesterday.

Speaker 3 (03:01):
And they described it as one of the luckiest goals
in international football, you're gonna put yourself in the position
that day if you haven't seen it. The ball was
kind of hacked forward in a classic kind of New
Zealand football style. I'm not taking it away from them,
but it's usually smash it up to the strikers away
from the backfield. Yeah, and the defender or was the
defender will look to just clear it and it hit

(03:24):
the face of one of the All Whites and ricocheted
off his face, middled it, his face middled it and
back of the neck, top corner.

Speaker 1 (03:33):
And even the.

Speaker 3 (03:34):
Keeper you could see him, he was like, what the
fuck was that?

Speaker 1 (03:38):
What am I supposed to know about that?

Speaker 3 (03:40):
But saying that, they kept them, you know, to one
nil till then. So they played pretty well defensively, they
played well. They got a lucky goal against their sixteenth
rank side in the world stuck on.

Speaker 1 (03:50):
That put themselves in a position.

Speaker 3 (03:52):
So you know, and look, and we know that the
All Whites will be at the next World Cup because
Oceania get an automatic entry in the next World Cup,
so presumably that's going to be absolutely going to be
us to tip us up. Yeah, so we've we've got
to get more practice against these top teams before that World.

Speaker 1 (04:07):
Cup, And isn't it fitting that we end up drawing
the game and quintessential Kiwi style, hope it from the
backfield and just see what happens, and something happened, and
something happened. It was the cheapest celebration as well. I've
forgotten a man's name.

Speaker 3 (04:20):
He kind of did a little bit of a a
little bit of a celebration.

Speaker 1 (04:24):
Who's obviously stoked, but he was like, don't put that on.
He still scored it. I put that on my highlight reel. Yeah,
he's still scored a goal against America. Yeah, so football's
coming home. That's what I'm here. And long short of
all that, you've done a bit of research on these
bloody via sideline situation.

Speaker 3 (04:40):
Oh yeah, so you would have seen, I know, you
can't get away from it on social media, these those
great clips of people sitting in a pub but it
looks like they're behind the goalposts or in there all
on that sideline, Yeah, the sideline of NBA, or they're
behind the goalpost during a Chelsea Man United game, and
it's just an epic kind of imax three sixty scre

(05:00):
and it's just like a basically stacked out with people
drinking purse like there at the ground.

Speaker 1 (05:04):
So there's two of these.

Speaker 3 (05:05):
It's a company called Cosm, which is they've just raised
two hundred and fifty million US so half a billion
dollars New Zealand dollars to expand around the world. So
they've got two of them at the moment. Ones in
like near so Far Stadium. It's it's and the arenas
are designed by the same guys they designed so Far
in LA And then he's one in Texas as well,
of course, and it's the company. This is great. The

(05:27):
company usually supply like you know those planetariums, you know,
the where your kids go and you lie down and
you look at the stars and ship. Yeah. Yeah, so
the US, that's what they usually do. That's what was
their core business was planetariums they're called Yeah, and now
they've moved into this and they've like this. Now they're

(05:48):
into a real money maker.

Speaker 1 (05:49):
Yeah. I can't understand why. More like movie theaters don't
show games, you know, people don't go to the movies anymore.

Speaker 3 (05:55):
This is especially built though, it's like it's like a dome.
It's like a dome with a sphere and yeah, but
a miniature version just built for sport as well, and
they already supply cameras. They've already have done deals that
there's a USC so you can be basically mixed to
the cage in USC. So it's fucking cool. And I've
got deals with ESBN, NBC, Fox, T and T, NBA

(06:15):
and the UFC, so they've got all these deals stitched
up in the ACC and the ACC ringside at the ACC.
I don't know why you want to do that.

Speaker 1 (06:24):
We should put that in our studio. It's getting done
right now. We should have the little like ring side
of the ACC. So yeah, so this is setup.

Speaker 3 (06:31):
It's an eighty seven foot by fifty five foot screen,
so I have that in metric PA that's kind of like,
yeah meters by twenty five meters high, so I think
of a ten meter high diving board. It's more it's
higher than that. So it's pretty epic. Yeah, But tickets
to go in there and be refront railer like two

(06:51):
hundred US.

Speaker 1 (06:52):
And if we did it here in New Zealand, you
wouldn't be able to buy a beer and get kicked
out if you're too noisy.

Speaker 3 (06:56):
I hate to say it, it's never going to happen
because each one costs between eighty to ninety million US
to build.

Speaker 1 (07:01):
Jesus. Yeah, but they do.

Speaker 3 (07:03):
Have like a kind of a sports bar out the
back which has a smaller screen, which he only costs
ten bucks to go in, so they've got little pockets of.

Speaker 1 (07:11):
It they're banking on. Once you're there, you're going to
want to go out because you'll see everyone else. And
we're talking.

Speaker 3 (07:16):
The LED display you've got is between eight and twelve
K in definition. It's like next leve. Well, that's why
it feels like you're on the ground.

Speaker 1 (07:24):
This is the future of watching sports because people don't
go to games because you know, you're competing with home
and how comfortable that is. But this is like all
of the comfort of home without actually having to go
and sit in the stadium in am I putting a
roof on Eden Park put all of these next to it.

Speaker 3 (07:38):
Well, you think about all the biggest teams in the world.
You know, halfy games are away, so fans are going
to travel. They just go to this bar and it's
like you're at the ground anyway. So COSM lookout for it.
They've just, like I said, they're just raised two hundred
and fifty million, which values the company up plus one
billion US. Now so and in terms of PR, it's

(08:01):
gone through the roof. If you haven't been served that ad,
and you're a sports fan and you haven't been served
not the ad, the video of people you know, oh yeah,
you have even been served that, then you're not really
probably searching the right thing.

Speaker 1 (08:12):
Well, they've just made it onto New Zealand's number one
sporting podcast two years in a row. That's right there,
you go.

Speaker 3 (08:18):
So yeah, so coming to a town near you, except
in New Zealand will be COSM and those fucking epic
sports bars. I mean, forget full time pales in comparison
to that. It just shows that if you want to
actually have an outstanding sports experience, you're going to have
to go to the States or Europe. Really hopefully they've
built on an assy Ossie seem like the kind of

(08:39):
people that would put one in eventially, imagine watching a
game in our game from one of those Yeah yeah, anyway.

Speaker 1 (08:46):
It's just basically all those people on put one on
Caxton Street. So you go. If the game's that's Uncork,
you go there. But if it's not. You can still
watch it just down the road at the old Cosmo
Club or whatever it.

Speaker 3 (08:56):
Is, the Cosmos Cosm, which is CECM, which is Cossum Club. Yeah,
the Cossom Club, go down the Cossom. Yeah, maybe we
can get a mini version. Maybe we don't need the
you know, the twenty five meter by fifty meter one.
Maybe we just maybe we built a smaller dome.

Speaker 1 (09:11):
Look, I didn't want to, but I will talk about it.
I go to the gym quite a bit. And at
the gym that I go to, there is a there's
like a bike class thing where it's got a massive
screen that wraps around. This thing is enormous. It'd probably
be about fifteen twenty meters long. Yeah, and it wraps around.
Just get all bin all the bikes out of there,
put seats in and put that on. Yeah. The ship
not the issue.

Speaker 3 (09:30):
But the advantage of these guys is they have camera
set ups already at these grounds, so they pipe that
into they have specific cameras the bike studio. Oh you're
saying like we've partnered with them and just get the
feed from the feed from I thought you mean like
they do it for a super rugby or well cricket
or whatever.

Speaker 1 (09:45):
But oh no, no, no, check in the NFL game on
in there. Yeah, yeah, I've got to watch it. Fuck,
leave the bike and it might get a workout.

Speaker 3 (09:53):
I love our emphasis on the word mic.

Speaker 1 (09:56):
I might. I don't know. I'll jump on it for
a laugh and I'll probably It is quite sad.

Speaker 3 (10:01):
Yeah, I mean, look, if we can't afford a half
billion dollar stadium, waterfront stadium, I'm happy for ratepayers to
pay eighty to ninety million, yeah for COSM Arena.

Speaker 1 (10:11):
One hundred percent. And then we can watch literally any
sport from around the world. They don't have to come here.

Speaker 3 (10:15):
And during the day you get some primary school kids
and they can look at some fucking planets and shit,
yeah what shrek?

Speaker 1 (10:20):
Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 3 (10:21):
And then during the evening just get lizard and watch sport.

Speaker 1 (10:24):
Yeah it's a nip. Yeah, all right, let's take a
quick break and when we come back, we're going to
be joined by Brad Shields. Well it's storm week for
the Wellington Lines and the NPC. They played last night,
they play again this weekend and joining us live from
well presumably Wellington, is Brad Shields. This good morning, Bred,

(10:45):
How are you mate, we're abouts in the country.

Speaker 4 (10:47):
Are yes, I'm comfortable in Wellington at the moment.

Speaker 1 (10:51):
Did you head down to Dunedin last night for that game?

Speaker 2 (10:55):
I was.

Speaker 4 (10:56):
I was glued to my television screen though. That was
a freaking sort of back and forth game.

Speaker 5 (11:03):
You know.

Speaker 4 (11:03):
It's just I don't know, it's something about the NPC
competition that each game seems to get more and more exciting,
you know.

Speaker 1 (11:09):
Yeah, particularly last night, that was such a nail byer,
Like I didn't really have a dog in the fight,
but it was just so back and forth, disallowed tries,
then allowed tries, than a sideline conversion, just about to
win it, then all of a sudden, you guys won
in the end. How nervous were you watching that one?

Speaker 4 (11:28):
Yeah, well, nervous is probably not the right word, but
like I was just on the edge of my seat
and adrenaline pumping, like show I could play a game.
You know, kind of felt like I was missing out
a little bit.

Speaker 3 (11:42):
Focusing though on this weekend. You would have been pretty
stoked that the mark Or got up the other week
against Hawk's Bay, which means you have a challenge this Saturday.

Speaker 4 (11:54):
Yeah, I mean that's pretty cool. And obviously pretty cool
for the Marcael as well. To you not take that
back to Tasaman, the Tatsman region. I was almost just
as sort of on my edge of my seat as
I was on Saturday night as I was last night.
Yeah with that game, as probably was most of Tasman
and Hawks Bay. But oh look, it's just it's an

(12:14):
awesome opportunity and that's the one thing that the Shield
gives the competition. There's a little bit of added either
it's pressure, you know, holding on to it, or a
little bit more excitement for teams to challenge for it.
So there's not many competitions in the world that sort
of have that sort of well loggerwood that we call,
have it throughout the season, which is bloody cool.

Speaker 1 (12:34):
Is it tough having it during your storm week? Like
if you had to pack a week to not have
the Shield challenge, this will probably be it because you
got two games in one week. Does that change anything
or do you think that just the fact that the
shield's up for grabs that will see the boys up enough?

Speaker 4 (12:47):
Yeah, I think the boys will be pretty gig duck
ready to go, like we we actually when we had
the Shield. I've only ever challenged for the shield once.
In twenty fourteen. We lost every single game for Wellington
except for the last one, and that was the what
we're holding up hopes on that Hawk's Bay challenge. But
now my second chance, so I don't think. And we
obviously had it. We defended it last year throughout storm Week,

(13:09):
which was awesome. I think we actually played Tasmin on
the Wednesday night, So there is an added pressure for
the team that's kind of got it. But you're kind
of like a team that's visiting has got nothing to lose.
You know, you win a game, you try and do
everything you possibly can. So it's tough, but I just
think it comes Sunday, the boys will be ready to
go regardless. I think CD Caleb Delaney will need to

(13:32):
put his legs on ice for a few days. We
don't care if he doesn't move until Sunday mornings to
make sure it's press ready to go.

Speaker 1 (13:39):
You know, I wanted to ask because neither of you
guys have lost. You know, I was looking at the
standings this morning. Do you ever get like the speed
wobbles after you've won so many games in a row?
Is that is there ever added pressure not to lose
that zero in the lost column.

Speaker 4 (13:56):
Yeah, probably a probably more external noise than anything else.
A bit of a rugby term there. But I don't know,
we kind of got I guess last year if you
look at the way we played, we kind of got
those speed wobbles towards the back end of the season. You know,
when we played Hawk's Bay in the last round robin,
then you know, played them again in the semi final.
We couldn't quite get over the line. So I suppose

(14:16):
there was a little bit headed pressure, but also you know,
brings a little bit of confidence. Like you look at
our squad last night. It just shows the great depths
at Willenton, scott and to get a one away from
home on a Wednesday night in Otago with you know,
you know, I think we had five debutantes in the end,
so you know, that's pretty exciting in itself. So it
doesn't you know, it doesn't add too much pressure, but

(14:37):
it definitely adds a bit at edge, I suppose.

Speaker 3 (14:39):
Yeah, speaking of you are your squad, Dips, You've got
a pretty pretty stack squad with super rugby players. You've got,
as Mike Correcton's saying that Rubin love and the Doctor
Proctor's returning Is this this weekend?

Speaker 4 (14:51):
Yeah, I read something yesterday. I think All Blacks might
have put something out saying who's available to play, So
we haven't selected them yet, but maybe if available.

Speaker 3 (15:01):
I think, yeah, look, that'd be pretty handy off the bench.
I reckon there'd be the Lion's own bomb.

Speaker 4 (15:08):
Squad the game for the last couple.

Speaker 1 (15:11):
I think, I think it's.

Speaker 3 (15:13):
Going to be pretty even this weekend, you know. And
my reasoning is, I mean, it's a hell week for
for the for the Lions with two games, but I'm
I'm picking that the Tasman mark or may have pushed
the boat out and celebrations you see, and I think
they might be on the back foot slightly this week
in terms of preparation. So that's why I'm that's why
I'm picking potentially the Shield's going to head back over

(15:33):
the cook straight Mania you're discussed.

Speaker 1 (15:36):
Yeah, well, because right on from South Canterbury. I don't
know if you've paid much attention to the Heartland over
the last few years. South Canterbury haven't lost since pretty
much COVID, and so every year the Heartland team gets
the challenge for the Shield and I would love for
the Shield to end up back in Heartland. I think
it would just be one. It would be great for
the competition too. It'd actually be quite funny to have

(15:56):
the Shield just flitting around Heartland, you know, to see
all these different thans having it. But this year South
Canterbury couldn't afford to travel to Hawk's base.

Speaker 4 (16:06):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (16:07):
So, but if it stays in Tasman. Selfishly, I just
wanted to stay in the South Island. Yeah, we'll pony
up for a coach.

Speaker 3 (16:12):
We'll coach, we'll they'll bust them there if they because
I reckon they were just runing scared.

Speaker 1 (16:17):
They didn't want to get a hiding. That's That's what
I'm thinking, Mina. But to be but to be fear,
Wellington's not much further than Nelson, you know, if the.

Speaker 4 (16:23):
The fairy, who knows what, they might get stuck in
the middle of the straight. But I think it's on
your point. I think it's great that the Partlan gets
a challenge for it, and it would be it would
be so awesome if that Shield went down to that division.
But you just don't want to be the team that
that division, so you m knows.

Speaker 1 (16:46):
Yeah, that's not something you want on your on your
working viedio page. While I've got you know, I've got
to I've got a question. What happened with the the
wasps thing over there? Did they I've never been able
to wrap my head around it. So they went under.
Was that halfway through the season or something? Well ben't there?

Speaker 4 (17:01):
Yeah, it was like so four games or five games
into the season, basically we got told, you know, halfway
through October. I think it was that. Basically the administrator
said that the club doesn't have any money to pay anyone,
so we don't basically have a job. It was like

(17:21):
the week that weekend we played our game and then
they say it on the monday, Oh can you guys
all come in quite a four more sort of meeting,
And a couple of weeks before that, they're all like, oh, yeah,
it's gonna be good. We've got to buy we got this,
We got that, and then got to that Monday and
I was like, no, I think it's not right to
fo more. And then that was that.

Speaker 3 (17:39):
It was a hell of a three years or so
for you though, because you went over there, you represented
England and then COVID hit and then you had this,
you must have been like, geez, that that is that
is like a literal rollercase.

Speaker 1 (17:53):
Ye, I had nothing to do with your ability or
form playing.

Speaker 4 (17:56):
Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, we we kind of you know,
we reflect back and we don't regret going over there whatsoever.
I've got to do some pretty amazing things.

Speaker 3 (18:05):
I was playing in front.

Speaker 4 (18:06):
He's always did in a dream of mine. Probably a
little bit frustrating and sow the way it finished, and yeah,
COVID kind of it was the same for everyone. I
guess it kind of just locked everyone away and we
weren't able to do sort of the traveling that we
wanted to do. But we got a good i think
eighteen months of just no of uninterrupted and pieces and

(18:27):
that was pretty cool. But yeah, it was a bit frustrating.
But at the same time, we made some great friends
and we've got to do some amazing things and yeah,
like I said, we don't regret it. It's just a
bit of a sour taste in the mouth. Look, even
for a reason is just as people say. And we
ended up back in New Zealand and enjoying it so far.
I've got to travel a little bit through France for
eight months when I was playing over there. So yeah,

(18:49):
he's always you know, one door closing, of door opens
and who knows what the future holds.

Speaker 1 (18:53):
Yeah, totally.

Speaker 3 (18:54):
And you played for England under Eddie Jones, didn't you.
He's a mad bat? Is how mad is Kitty Jones? Oh?

Speaker 4 (19:03):
I think? Yeah, I mean, I mean I got on
really well with them, and and and I thought he's
a really good coach and he and he generally wants
the best for players. But I think, you know, sometimes
some you know, the mental strain or I think he's
a lot harder as coaches than he was on the players.
And you know, not everyone's gonna suck anything. You can't

(19:24):
always please everybody. And I think he's tickled a potentially
a couple of people up the wrong way in Australia.
But look, I mean I got on really well with them,
and he got the best tu of here along with
Steve worthworkinghas playing for him. And because you know, I
feel like I've played some pretty good rugby, so yeah,
from whatever building has been pretty good. Obviously, I see

(19:45):
now what you guys see in the media, so you
can make up your own story.

Speaker 1 (19:50):
Yeah, the whole Ozzy thing aside. I actually quite loved
that there was that whole drama going on at the
last World Cup. But you hear all these, like some
of the stories that you heard. I heard one at
the japan and World Cup where he brought out a
kiwi fruit and had brought himself a samurai sword and
he cut the kiwi fruit and half of the samurai
saw it. It was like, that's what we're going to do
to the kiwis tomorrow. Did he do anything like that

(20:13):
with you guys? No.

Speaker 4 (20:15):
I remember when we played the All Blacks and over
and over in England for the end of season tour,
and he'd like got life size cutouts and he'd put
them in all through the hallways and we're the meeting
room and stuff and Aaron Smith's body Bear Brodie retellic,
So like you got these last size Brodie retelics hearing
at you every time you get into a meeting. I'm

(20:36):
not sure if it's more intimidating or like supposed to, like,
you know, pump me up, But I think there's been
a few of those sort of moments. Everyone had a
sort of interesting running or interesting memory or experience, that's
for sure.

Speaker 1 (20:50):
That sounds MOLDI terrifying because I mean I far ast
him up.

Speaker 3 (20:52):
Would place Aaron Aaron Smith and the and the disabled toilet,
and you're going put them in place, put them in
your cover it or something. Brodie retallic and you covered
coming at you.

Speaker 1 (21:05):
That's brilliant. But we really appreciate your time. We won't
keep you for much longer, Brad, but go well this
weekend and if and when you guys win the shield,
can we can we have a young with you next week.

Speaker 4 (21:16):
Well, let's get through the game first, and I hope
you haven't bloody regardless of the result.

Speaker 1 (21:24):
Regardless of result, will chat to you next week, of course,
or otherwise you've got someone to blame it on out there. Brilliant,
Thanks very much your time, bro go well, thanks appreciate it.
Go the lines.

Speaker 2 (21:41):
Yours please brought you by leader home of.

Speaker 1 (21:47):
My palms are actually sweating from telling bread Shields would
only have him on the shelf. They wont I really
regret that?

Speaker 3 (21:51):
And him throwing a curse back at us was you've
just cursed it. Yeah, I got a bit of PTSD,
he said that, because that's going to come back on me.

Speaker 1 (22:00):
The thing is, I know if if, if they lose,
and I don't know if they will or not, he's
not gonna want to He's not gonna want to come
back on the shirt. He's not gonna be honest, if
they weren't, he's probably not gonna want to come back
on the shirt.

Speaker 3 (22:10):
And look, Brad, I'm not gonna fly to blend them
and watch that game.

Speaker 1 (22:14):
Okay, so you're safe, You're safe. I'm sorry. All right,
it is time for yours, please we get a bunch
of them to get through. First call at yours please.

Speaker 3 (22:22):
I've been absolutely frothing this nigh versus cassawary chat.

Speaker 4 (22:27):
I'm sorry, mate, you're not gonna take this one out.
So when Casso is hunt, they have a talent just
like a voss or. It was clawed and it's sharpened
on the bottom a little bit. And what they do
is they disembowel you. So they attack for like the
stern them on a roof and at a google of it, mate,
they can rip you from stern them to balls, one

(22:47):
of strokes. So your guts are going to be used
for garters.

Speaker 1 (22:52):
Stern to nuts. I've got a lot of hate online
in person about saying that I could be to cassiary.

Speaker 3 (22:58):
Well, I know, let's just say you see did be
any bird? Yeah, it's going to see the bird of birds.

Speaker 1 (23:03):
I said that there wasn't wasn't a bird on God's
green earth that could beat me in a fight. And
I stand by sign the contract. I have not seen
a cassower stand up for itself and you know, come
back at me.

Speaker 3 (23:12):
I think you should start some online beef I have. Yeah,
I'm going at cases worldwide. Fuck is, find your biggest
and baddest and let's go.

Speaker 1 (23:22):
And people keep saying exactly what this caller said there
and he's and he's dead right. They disemboweled kangaroos and
things like that because they got these claws. But the
thing is, I'm not just going to stand there with
my hands behind my back like I'm aware it's going
to try and disembow me. I'm going to be defending
myself and I'm not saying that I'm going to walk
in there and dust it without getting you any injuries myself.

Speaker 3 (23:42):
Look, and I'm just going to say that this cassawary
is trained to fight men, yeah, and to disembow me.
It's not even just pulled it from the desert and
chucked it in a ring put some lights on it,
because it'll just can.

Speaker 1 (23:54):
Well, the lights will get too bright for casiris. And
that's why they've never beat me in a fight.

Speaker 3 (23:57):
But this one here has been in a training camp
for two or three years is and we bring dummies out,
We bring dummies out and it just runs at it
a Texas.

Speaker 1 (24:05):
I sit out of respect for the cassowary. I'll allow
it a three month camp and it can it can
you pick the best and brightest from around the worlds
of combat sport. I'll probably hit over to Morecambe Bay
and go jogging with David and Tyson and Joe and them,
and they're like, who are you fighting me?

Speaker 5 (24:24):
Yea.

Speaker 1 (24:28):
The thing is David probably wouldn't trade with me because
he's in Team Cancer. I'm going to need to bring
someone in and tape some knives to their feet to
try and simulate fighting a cancer weary.

Speaker 3 (24:39):
Oh, just go down k road and just throw some
expletis out and then people will come at you with
high heels.

Speaker 1 (24:45):
Yeah, oh yeah, that'd be very similar. Yeah, about two
in the morning, three in the morning, all the way
through into eight of the morning. Sometimes when my bus
comes past. I did talk to an animal expert who
may or may not live in the same house as me,
but for legal reasons, will remain nameless, but does work
with animals and large birds about whether I could or not. Thought.
She she's she's not all the way there with me,

(25:07):
but she doesn't think it's as ridiculous as most other
people do.

Speaker 3 (25:11):
Yeah, it's a it's a bird, got a small brain.

Speaker 1 (25:13):
It's a bird. Thinking that's the thing, because people keep
saying it's just going to scratch the shit out of you,
is like, okay, so oh yes, ol, But it's not
a fight to the owl. It's a fight to the death,
and I'll be snapping that thing's neck.

Speaker 3 (25:24):
I don't think it'll be scratching you. What do you
think if it gets hold of you, it's opening you
up lots from Stirnham to board, but.

Speaker 1 (25:30):
It's not getting holding it. Don't their arms, you know
what I mean? Another thing about a kangaroos. It's only
got we tiny we t rex arms. See, I'm keeping
it at distance. Yeah, but then it'll go back and
just kick the crap out of you. Yeah, that's okay.
I'll keep my distance. I'll keep my distance and then
once The problem it's got is it's got three weapons
and it can only use one of them at any
given time. It can it can kick me, but at

(25:51):
that point it's only standing on one leg, or it
could kick me with the other league. The third weapon
it's got is its face, so that like I would
recommend it doesn't use that because if I hung my
hand out, tried to buy me, I've got its head
and that's gay. Like, yeah, it doesn'tbel me, but it'll
die before I do. And so yeah, but if you
die later in hospital, then then so be it. State funeral,

(26:14):
probably on the bank note. Yeah, got the w Yeah,
I got the dove. I'll walk out of it. That's
what I'm saying, same argument against a snake. I will die,
but I'll walk out of that cage with my hand
out smollen, smollen and passing. But I'll collapse before I
get to the end of the cage. I think we'll
get another one here.

Speaker 5 (26:32):
On a similar note, Kay Fellas Josh had lines of
the car here, but no, I absolutely love your confidence.
Then you can win out to But you remember at
the start of the first dress of Park when Sam
Neil has to put that little one for lumber in
his place for talking about velosa raptors.

Speaker 1 (26:49):
I feel like he needs to have a similar check
to you.

Speaker 5 (26:51):
And what a we'd do to leave your in trails
and all the KFC you head to lunch all over
the wors. Yeah, I don't think it'd be ready, mate, anyway.

Speaker 1 (27:03):
Do you know what?

Speaker 3 (27:03):
Both those callers had a slight Australian twang to them,
because I think both of them are assies going, you're
a fucking lunatic, mate, There's no way. It's like, yeah,
you've come in with this key. We our flightless birds
are just fat and lazy and now you're talking smack
to one of the most dangerous birds in the world.

Speaker 1 (27:18):
And ossies are like, you're dreaming, mate, just off the
back of I've seen a wicker before. I'm back. Oh
so it's just a big wicker. Yeah'll waste it. They're like, no, no, no,
it's a big wicked No, it's a small dinosaur. I
love to leave my guts and all the KFC had
for lunch. Yeah, fuck you, I've got another caller here,

(27:40):
yours please.

Speaker 6 (27:42):
When we're talking about the biggest animal you could fight,
are we're talking weight. Are we're talking size as in
height weight? Because I reckon, a tortoise would wait quite
a minute. But you can probably flip it one hundred
kilos at least a tortoise, isn't it.

Speaker 1 (28:00):
Yeah? You know what I think that's my new answer. Tortoise. Yeah,
what's the biggest animal you can beat in the fighter? Reckon?
It's a galaping his tortoise. But you know what, I
don't know a few.

Speaker 3 (28:11):
You're going to have to wait for its head to
come out and just like jab its head. No, no, no,
he said, flip it over on his back, and what
are you going to do? Pound its belly? Wait, but
these are twelve rounds in three minutes. No, then we
never decided that is it just a fight to the death?
So you're flipping it over and starving it?

Speaker 1 (28:29):
Oh yeah, I'm flipping it over, and then I'm retreating
to my corner where Eugene Berman is going to pass
me various water bottles through the cage on it's tummy.
I'd probably give it a whirl just to try and
speed the process up a little bit. But I'm with
just flip it over and just stop the His corner

(28:51):
is eventually going to throw the towel.

Speaker 3 (28:52):
Well, if you're going to do that, then I'm saying
a whale shark.

Speaker 1 (28:57):
Oh yeah, obviously any water aquatic.

Speaker 3 (29:00):
Flop it in the ring and I can sit back
and watch it slowly suffocate.

Speaker 1 (29:04):
I just doing a little google here. One of the
largest of the Galapagos tortoises have weighed up to four
hundred cages. You're not flipping there. I think he's been
generous on the Hondy just flip. No, but one hundred
k one hundred kilo one I could flip. But a
four hundred krelo would be would be pretty tough.

Speaker 3 (29:22):
And it's just going to retreat its head inside the
tortoiseshell and just look at you, like, go on, then
let's see who can survive.

Speaker 1 (29:28):
Yeah, and then we're just sitting down and we're finding
out And I walk out of that cage skinny, looking great,
and the.

Speaker 3 (29:34):
Three hundred year old tortoise is good.

Speaker 4 (29:36):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (29:37):
I could probably stay here for a couple of years.

Speaker 3 (29:39):
Yeah, if we're honest with ourselves, I think I think
the paper of you would would dip. It'll be like
after a couple of weeks, So I think you need
to put a time on it, on.

Speaker 1 (29:49):
It press conference afterwards, I'll be like, look, the tortoise
wasn't willing to engage, and I can't help that. You know,
this is my title. It needs to come and take
the title off me. And if all it's going to
do is roll around on the back of its shell,
oh am, I walk out. They're still the champion. Yeah,
I think the lapagus tortoise is my answer. But this
is why I was saying I reckon I could take
out a giraffe. It was because no, because it's a

(30:10):
fight through the desk, there's no time limit. And I
reckon because it's a grazing animal. It has to wait like,
it has to eat more often than I do. And
it's also way bigger.

Speaker 3 (30:18):
One swing of that here on your cranium and you
are dead.

Speaker 1 (30:21):
No, I'll stay busy, though, if I just if I,
if I stay off cinder.

Speaker 3 (30:28):
You know, if that's on pay per view, I'm paying
for that.

Speaker 1 (30:31):
Yeah. I can see that the animal expert that I
have talked to, may or may not live in the
same house as me, does not think I.

Speaker 3 (30:37):
Can be I tend to agree with you at all,
all right, I think we've two more.

Speaker 1 (30:43):
You call it your space.

Speaker 7 (30:45):
You goat yourselves a new studio, you goat yourself. As
a TV show, You're getting all these hope, high profile guests.
You don't commentate the rugby, you don't commitate the cricket.
You barely talk about sports anymore. And now I've got
a new red You're going to all the laviation industry events. Question,
has the ACC gotten too big for its boots?

Speaker 1 (31:08):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (31:08):
Well, when you put it like that, we have no
We're commentating the Bleders like Cup games coming up. Yeah,
and we're also commentating the silver Ferns coming out a
series against England and the Macadie and Sam Winders are
going to be commentating with either myself or Mania or Kezy.
But no, it's true. We've got a TV show or
you have with Matt Heath and Kezy Tonight.

Speaker 1 (31:29):
Eight thirty pm, Sky opening Skysport one.

Speaker 3 (31:32):
Yeah. I saw Mikaela Blythe walking around the spot. Luckily
she had a long sleeve top on. I got something
intimidated by her pythons. Oh mate, they are a couple
of pythons. She's operating.

Speaker 1 (31:43):
She is an Olympic nick. Yeah, and that scar on
her forehead. It is starting to heal, but like it
is as men. Yeah, it's like she she got that
winning an Olympic gold for our country. Yeah, God, she bleed.

Speaker 3 (31:57):
She bleed from the head for gold.

Speaker 1 (32:02):
When you when you put the dossier together like that
man there has Yeah, it does seem like we've lost
our way. But in my defense, for the amount I
talk about going to the gym, my rig is just
the same.

Speaker 3 (32:12):
I still look like shit, it's the gym of diminishing returns.
That's what that gym that you go to is. And look,
we're going high end. What high profile industry events.

Speaker 1 (32:22):
Have marketing awards?

Speaker 3 (32:24):
Oh yes, yeah, we shouldn't have been there and that
was that was not high end.

Speaker 1 (32:29):
I can give you that. Again. In our defense, we
disgraced ourselves entirely at that event.

Speaker 3 (32:33):
We did we did, We were booing, boing winners. It
was it wasn't It wasn't great behavior. But no, the
commentary is bad. We're not doing the cricket because you know,
we're taking a stand yeah against Taliban, Yeah on that one,
and rightly so, because it's a shambles and that game
is going to.

Speaker 1 (32:49):
Be who else is going to stand up and fight
the Taliban if we're not going to exactly, and that's
I feel an obligation to do that. So yeah, look,
I think it was a fair question. I think it
was a hypothetical question as the a SEC gotten too
big for its boots. But thank you for sending it
in anyway, boots another call here yours please answer.

Speaker 7 (33:07):
Yes, it has fucking listen though I've got nothing better to.

Speaker 1 (33:10):
Do, shout out to you. Do we have one more?
That's all right, let's knock this thing on the head.
This thing went pear shaped from the get go. But
thank you very much for joining us. And again, go
and check out game acc does Game of two Halves
live on Sky Open, which is the free Sky channel
if you've got free of you, if you can watch
TV free to ear TV on your television at all,

(33:32):
you'll find it just keeps scrolling through. That's on at
eight thirty pm. I'm sure there'll be some sort of
on demand as well. It definitely will be. But yeah,
catch that tonight. Make sure you tune in. We'll have
a debrief tomorrow. It might have to get heathen to
talk through. Pour over the culs, break over the culls. Anyway,
we're not singing on the head to see it tomorrow
for a Friday episode of the gender podcast You've been

(33:53):
listening to.

Speaker 2 (33:53):
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