September 30, 2024 • 20 mins
WATCH THE FULL EPISODE ON OUR YOUTUBE CHANNEL HERE!
Jeremy Wells joins ACC Head G Lane to compare notes over the sickness they've both gained on their return to work and the realisation that 5-day hangovers are a thing (0:00).
Then the fellas get into Johnny Sexton's book and the infamous chat between him and Rieko Ioane (7:12) before wrapping with their fear for the Black Caps' Test record as they approach a Series against India (11:04)...
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Live from the Export Beer Garden Studios and brought to
you by Export Ultra the beer to get you through.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
A five day hangover. This is the Agenda.
Speaker 3 (00:08):
Podcast for the first of October.
Speaker 4 (00:11):
The Agenda Podcast, the home of sporting nonsense and clap Trap,
brought to you my Export Vulture.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Morning, Jeremy, Morning, Mike.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
How are you?
Speaker 2 (00:21):
I don't I'm gonna be honest, worse than yesterday.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
Yeah, I know the feeling, so am I.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Yeah, it's we landed on Friday. It is Tuesday now,
and I'm just wondering when it's going.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
To get better. Yeah. I think what happens is when
you go away to Europe for seven days, and we
went for seven days. We're on the ground for seven days. Yeah,
was it six? Six nights?
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Seven days?
Speaker 3 (00:45):
Yeah, that's not many. So by the time you arrive
after your twenty seven hour flight, and before we start
talking about this, a lot of people will go, we'll
be saying crime a river. Oh, but before you And
I'm not complaining about the trip.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
I'm not. I'm like, it's worth it. This pain is
worth you.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
I'll enjoy it. But just say that when you arrive
after a twenty seven hour flight, and then you immediately
on day one tack right into proceedings within hours of
landing and not stop and then not stop that first
night there was not a lot of sleep. The second
night you really got some terrible jet lag. You're still
on the time clock from New Zealand, which is twelve
(01:22):
hours a round about, so you've reversed the day and night,
and then you go through the day and then you
go through the night and you don't stop drinking for
seven hours, sorry, seven days, and then you get on
another flight and then you make your way home twenty
seven hours and then you're back into it again. You
really haven't had time to adjust to the first part
(01:44):
of the trip, which is going over to Europe. You've
probably just got used to it when you get back
on the plane to come back to New Zealand. And
then at that point your body goes, oh, wait, hold
on here. What you are doing to me is not
good and it really punishes you. So basically got says
I'm shutting down. To that, I'm shutting down, I'm sick. Yeah,
and talk me through.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Did you had a few issues on the flight home
with your underwear?
Speaker 3 (02:08):
I did you?
Speaker 2 (02:09):
What did you do? With that underwear.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Did you just check it out? Did you? Did you
revive it? I put it in the wash and it
made the whole wash smell, so I had to put
the wash through again and have another go. But I
I had isshoes, like I mean, I'm getting old, and
I just realized I was having a lot of isshoes.
I mean, I had some kind of leakage nasal and fiction. Up,
(02:32):
I'll start from the top of gaze and fiction. I'm
blind now. I had a nasal in fiction, which was.
Speaker 5 (02:39):
Terrible for when you're flying with with your ears blocking
and then go down through the throat there was very
sore throat for some reason, terrible, and then the lung
seemed to be fine, although I did smoke two cigarettes
fallows away.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Just the two on a fierce wheel yep, stupid idea.
And then going down through the downstairs area, I was
actually okay through that. I think my guts were fine.
You got your heir.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Is shoes there.
Speaker 3 (03:07):
I was fine there. And then I turns out I
got terrible chafing in around the back passage, which I've
never had before. But I blame I blame chick. I
blame checking out of the hotel in the morning, wandering
around in Munich all day, going to Hitler's favorite restaurant,
going to Hitler's favorite restaurant, his favorite Italian restaurant in Munich.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
I can see why it was his favorite.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
Beautiful ravioli, Yeah, lovely, good service too. And then getting
on a plane at ten thirty at night, twenty seven
hours flying back to New Zealand. Yeah, without a change
of undies, without the sweating going on. There was hot
inside inside of the Munich.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
Yeah, oh my god. I didn't know if it was
us or whether it was hot.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
I was looking around for other people to see if
they were sweating as much as we were, but I
didn't see many.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
I was having some problems in that airport. I've gotta
be honest with you. But the low point came for
me when we were flying back, just before we landed
and Dubai. I had rock bottom. At that point, I lost,
I lost everything I had and you still such a
sore bum like. It was so the chafing was so intense.
I had a rash and I had a bung me.
(04:17):
Everything was wrong, every part of my body. But I
think is I'll do it all over again. I would
get on a plane tomorrow to do that again.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
It was a great trip throughout three days in Amsterdam,
three days in Munich, and we're gonna we'll probably put
this to be.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
We won't talk about it.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Anymore because we have talked about it for a couple
of days now. But we need to look forward now
to twenty twenty five because we're going to do these
beer garden tours with the Export Ultra every year, so.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
We need to somehow.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
We had Paris for the Rugby World Cup, then we
had went to October fish via Amsterdam. We're going to
find something that's going to top that for twenty twenty five.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
Can anything top that? Well, I don't know where.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
We'll throw it out to the audience.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
I guess jump on, let us let us know on
three two, three six, or maybe a talkback function.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
Let us know.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
But and then we'll work it out and see where
it takes us.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
Something Stateside perhaps, Yeah, Texas.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
I was thinking maybe barbecue.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
Get to the Home of the barbecue, the pit fire barbecue.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Does it have to be in September?
Speaker 2 (05:14):
It kind of yet? Does it has to be in
that kind of end of year?
Speaker 1 (05:17):
October September October time, So that's the only prerequisite. So
if any events going on around that time, that would
be good. Yep, So let us know if we have
I don't know it. We're just gonna have to be
a pretty year bic trip to top that one.
Speaker 5 (05:30):
Man.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
Yeah, totally.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
We took twelve great New Zealanders with us as well,
which was which is you know, a look to take
even more next year hopefully. Really Yeah, it's a very
sort after trip, Jeremy, very sought after.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
I understand why.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
I mean, you could see, you could see the vengeance
that Matt Heath took on us on us yesterday when
he pennedes up his revenge article about us leaving him behind.
But he I think he would have had a kindred
spirit in Phil from Taranaki.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
They would have just slept together.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
They would have just drunk a few beers and then
quietly slipped on each other's shoulder for most of the trip.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
I've never seen someone have such severe, such a severe
case of drinking narcolepsy in my life. I mean, he
got to a certain point, Phil and then his body
just shut down.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Trying to wake him up was very hard.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
I did you see Callum who was his travel partner.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
It's smacking him around the head, punching.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
Him in the face. Nothing from Phil, just absolutely nothing.
But he could not get him out of a cab though,
because he was a dead weight and he was a
reasonably sturdy fellow for Great New Zealander, but very sleepy. Yeah,
but I enjoyed. I enjoyed Callum and Phil.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
I enjoyed Tom and James yep, till Tom yep, good guys, yep.
And then we enjoyed mal We just heard mal Mail
came back first broken confirmed.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
She's in a cast. She's in a cast. Scafoid bone, Yeah,
she's in her cast.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
She had a bit of a tumble at Beer Feist,
so she's got a little souvenir from for the next
five for six weeks.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
Did you say she had a tumble or would you
say that one of the other one of the other
winners fell on her.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Either or I think both.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Anyway, we'll take a quick break and we'll come back
and talk some actual kind of sport.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
I don't know if you have you seen this Jerry around.
Johnny six Pest has released a book. John Johnny Sexton,
the former Irish first five eight has released a book
and as most books are looking for some headlines, and
he's dug up the semi final of the Rugby World
Cup from last year again. Can you remember that at
the final whistle him and ricco Yoanni went.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Win at each other for a little bit.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
Can you remember that?
Speaker 2 (07:38):
I do?
Speaker 5 (07:38):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (07:38):
What were they talking about?
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Well, he's he's released it in his book, and to me,
it's a bit moany for me, I'd s like harden up.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Anyway, what happened was the penalty.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Sam Whitelock over the top of the ball got the penalty.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
He's obviously still disputes it in his book.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
It was in a penalty whatever, fuck off.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
And ricca Yoanni said, get ten meters back mate, it's
a penalty. He says, back ten, back ten, and just
like was basically saying get out of here, mate, and
then Barnes blows the final whistle when they kick it out,
and then Rica Joannie says, don't miss your flight tomorrow,
enjoy your retirement.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
You can't.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Oh okay, And Johnny Sexton said, so much for the
All Blacks famous no dickheads policy, so much for their humility.
I walk, I chase after Yannie and call them a
fake humble fucker, which I think is a pretty bad comeback.
It doesn't look great me having a go at one
of them just after we've lost.
Speaker 3 (08:36):
But I can't be expected to ignore that how's it
bo call from Rico If that's what he did say.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
That's but that is a lot.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
But there was a lot of tension in that game
because you remember Brady Retellek also gave Peter Many a
bit of stick as well because he called Sam Caine
a fake Richie mccaugh. Yeah, so they're obviously a big one,
the fake humble fucker kind of things. But you know what,
I'd say, get over you.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
Well. The other thing about it is it was still
set on the field, wasn't it. Yeah, And what stays
on the field, what goes on the field stays on
the field.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
When you try to sell books.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
Yeah, that's right. But I do understand there's a little
bit of tension between the Irish and the All Blacks
and the Irish because the Irish were good there for
a while.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
They were they were They went seventeen games unbeaten. That
was their first loss. They were favorites to win the
whole thing.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
And they started to think that they created some kind
of legacy, and they started to think that probably they're
a little bit better than what they actually were, and
they forget that for the longest time, they've been completely
humiliated by the All Blacks. Yeah, but still RecA, I
mean you didn't I don't know, you didn't need to
say that I was retiring. You know, he's annoying though,
(09:42):
Johnny Sexton, I know that's what I mean. It's and
then they are not innocent, the Irish team.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
I mean the fact they were baiting Sam Kaine the
whole time about being fake Richie McCall and all that
kind of stuff.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
So I think it's just the way of selling books.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
But you know what I'm saying, thank Yeah, you're a
grown man. I'm kind of I've been called a count
many tis.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
Well, you are a cunt, So I mean it's accurate.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Yeah, and so I'm fine with it. Yeah, I don't
turn around and put it in a book.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
Yeah. I mean, what actually surprises me that there's that
level of band going on in a rugby field because
previously they didn't used to be. It wasn't a sport
that there was a lot of banter in just a
lot of punching. People were tired, people were gasping for
breath half the time. But now there's so much time
to around scrums and stuff. You've got plenty of, plenty of.
I was told that Brodie Retellek was a big chairper.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
Yeah, well he's the one that church Peter Maney. I
think what did he say? Four more years? Just the
classic Gregan thing for yearn for more years mate.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
Still, yeah, I heard that. I heard that there's a
bit more ban now than what they used to be.
I guess professionalism changed things a little bit. Yeah, I
think they he would think it'd be quite dangerous.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
So because the amount of microphones I've got around, shotgun
MIC's I've got on field, they can be pretty much
pack up anything. I don't know if you watched the
game on Saturday night, but the Georgian referee, a Count Dracula,
one of the odses, called him a stupid cunt and
you could hear on the microphone but he doesn't speak English,
so he didn't really know and you're hear in the
background he penalized Australia. Is that you can and James Carty,
(11:09):
I mean normally a professional commentator would apologize on behalf
of the player.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
We just we just laughed it off and actually repeated it. Well,
what's the deal with that? So whose responsibility is it
to not allow profanity to come through? Because is it
the host? Is it the broadcaster? No? But it's good point.
So if someone complained about that, who would be liable
for any kind of.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
It would be the broadcaster because they've broadcasted that profanity.
Speaker 3 (11:39):
Okay, well it's gin dangerous, isn't it? Yeah, especially live,
there's not a there's not a dump button like Murray
Deacon used to have on it.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
He never used the dumb button is the problem.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
He could never find it. That was part of the problem.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
The dump button, for those of you don't know, is
the four second delay that a lot of talkback hosts have.
And I'd say that Matt Heath will be definitely employing
the delay button on his first few weeks asy listeners
ring up and try and prank him.
Speaker 3 (12:03):
But that is that?
Speaker 2 (12:04):
Why?
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Is that the reason why commentators apologize on behalf of
the broadcaster for the language so they can kind of
mitigate any sort of complaint.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
Maybe maybe, But is it true that situation with Marry
Deca that what happens someone would ring him up and
start talking code with him, Oh yeah, and engage him yeah,
and then say you're a ballcunt.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
It's one of the great that but it's on It's
on YouTube. You search it, search Murray Deeka baaldcunt.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
It's one of the great.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
The guy just leads him on and he's like, goes,
he talks about Auckland rugby and one of.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
The problem and he goes, you are Damien, you are
you are, bang On.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
I totally agree the fact that rugby at the moment
is not facilitated by the right people. You're speaking my language, Damien,
And he goes, just one more thing, Murray, Yes, Damien,
you're a ballcunt.
Speaker 3 (12:58):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
It was such a long game. I've got a name
for people like you, Damon. Anyway, next call it.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
But I couldn't find the dump.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
But he doesn't have it.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
If we didn't believe in it. I couldn't believe in
the dump. Button didn't want to do it right. We'll
take a quick break and I guess it's gonna chat
a bit of black caps. So black caps to nil
Sri Lanka we now have from the sixteenth of October,
so in a couple of weeks time to the sixth
of November, we have three tests in India.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
First one in Bangalore needs to turn a.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
Bit poone yep, it's going to turn a bit.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
And Wankidi Stadium in Mumbai.
Speaker 3 (13:38):
It's got a bit of pace and bounce, doesn't it.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Weky, Yeah, not as turning as as Bangalore and Pooney,
But are we standing on the barrel of losing potentially
seven Test matches in a row.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
We are well, what would you put your house on
if you could be your house on something in that situation?
Would it be for New Zealand to even have it?
I mean, what isn't a on soon season at the moment?
Speaker 2 (14:01):
It's just finished. It was on the end of monsoon season.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
That's why that first Test against Afghanistan got okay because
they were relying on the mon season season finishing by then.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
Hadn't Has it stopped now? Definitely? I don't. I don't know, okay,
because I would my money would be on three nil,
oh man, wouldn't it be? Yeah? I mean I know,
but it's our record over there. I'm sure we've won
a Test one. We've won one Test. Yes, in the
whole history of New Zealand cricket, we've managed with all
the teams we've had, all the great players we've had
(14:32):
in the past, we've managed against some pretty ordinary Indian teams.
At times we've managed to win one Test. Do you
think that we could salvage this team could salvage one
Test when we've just been beaten too nil in Tri Lanka.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Maybe the only one, like you mentioned is wanke Eddy.
I think we'll get well and truly beaten in Bengalo
and Pune. But when it comes to wang Keitty, maybe
the Indians will you know, had the foot off the throat.
But they're playing for World Test Championship points, so I
can't see them doing that. No.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
The other problem is, as New Zealand cricket is now,
these are not stadiums that we're not that we're unfamiliar with.
I mean, our guys are through ipl have played heaps
and sim Selvie was based in Mumbai for a long
time and Bangalore and Bangalore, so you know these are
these are grounds that they know well. The problem is
that we are the worst players of spin in world
(15:24):
cricket and that is a fact. And I don't think
there's a solution to that problem because when you're growing
up in New Zealand, the reality is you just you
just don't face a lot of quality spin and trying conditions.
And I think the hardest thing for New Zealand batsman
is when you start losing wickets against spin. And you
(15:44):
think about this yourself, when you've when you've come in
in situations where a spinner starts to dominate and the
balls turning and it's hard to get established. You don't
get a short one outside of something you can smash
through point. It's not that easy. You've got to use
the pace yourself and also the other problems. And this
(16:06):
happened in those tests in Sri Lanka. Our guys were
getting starts and they were battling away and working past
half centuries. But with spin, when you've got two spinners operating,
it's it's a different rhythm. You've got to go after it.
You've got a cap, you've got to keep attacking them
to score. But every time you attack, you open up
the chance to getting out as well. It's complicated. Man. Psychologically,
(16:28):
we're just not set up for that sort of cricket.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
Yeah, we're not because you look at the domestic scene,
is not that many spinners. No, because we don't have
wickets but mine. You the wickets member the wickets last
season and they were turning like we misread both wickets
against Africa. We almost lost against the African d team. Yeah,
it's slow turn occasionally a little bit of bounce. In
New Zealand Bars Reserve had a bit of bounce and
a bit of ten spots do well there.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
But it's just it goes back generations and generations. I
mean I remember talking to Davatory. So New Zealand is
the artist country in the world to bowl spin in.
It's the one place that you get the least. You
get a little bit of bounce every now and there.
But in Australia you'll get bounced. You'll also get turned
on the final days and obviously get you get turned.
Sometimes you get bounced as well, get prodigious turned sometimes
(17:14):
in day one England some pictures turn and some bounce depends,
but there is some bounce and turn there. South Africa
nowadays a lot of the pictures are slow. They'll turn,
So the Westerndies turns a lot. New Zealand is the
last bastion of non turning of.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
Green seams slow, the last one. I suppose that's the
only reason, well not the only reason, but one of
the big reasons then Vati was damn was so successful
is because he was so tall. He managed to extrapolate
the bounce in New Zealand as opposed to just someone
like ajs Ptel.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
He's not a big man and doesn't bowl a lot
of pace. It just kind of just floats it up,
doesn't he.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
So probably the reason why you're so successful here and
there translated overseas as well. So we're going to come
into the England series potentially against England. First Test against
England starts into November down in christ Church and we'll
be coming off potentially.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
I don't know what's our biggest losing streak in Test cricket.
It's way more than there in a row. We don't
want to test until what's nineteen fifty something. Yeah, it's
true against so don't forget we were on a losing
streak from the start. But I think as well, they
are professional enough, these guys to know that there is
no expectation that we went to the subcontinent and won
(18:30):
a series. Yeah, this team is not good enough to
do that. It's a New Zealand team that's rebuilding. We
don't have the stars, We don't We just don't have
the players. We don't have the quality spinners to go
over there and win a series. So I don't think
anyone's expecting anything. So at least when we come home
to Wellington that professional enough that they'll push the refreshed
button then they'll go we can definitely win against England
(18:51):
in our home conditions. We have no doubt about that. Yeah, okay,
well you give me hope. You give me hope. Then
are you worried about the You were really worried about
us at home?
Speaker 1 (19:00):
Yeah, a little bit, because you come if you come
off seven straight losses potentially on Asia, which I know.
Speaker 3 (19:07):
Is different, but I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
I'm a little bit one.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
The one thing I am excited about is Willow Rourke
and the fact that he's getting wickets in Sri Lanka.
You'll probably get wickets in India as well. But he's
looking really good punisher, punisher, a pushally good looking, big
unit steaming in just what we need. See how he's
striking a little bit, didn't get many wickets, a little
bit of pressure on to get met Henry back in
(19:34):
the team apparently what I'm hearing. So that'll be interesting
to see what they do and what old Gary Steed
does in in India. So yeah, well first game starts
sixteenth of October, so they've got a couple of a
couple of weeks to get used to the conditions over
and there before that kicks off. All that's on sky
Sport as well if you want to see that. But
(19:55):
I think we're gonna knock this on the head because
to get a low down Yeah cool.
Speaker 4 (20:00):
You've been listening to the ACC's Agenda podcast, brought to
you by Export Ultra. For more episodes, I can follow
on iHeartRadio or will if you get your podcasts
Live from the Export Beer Garden Studios and brought to
you by Export Ultra the beer to get you through.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
A five day hangover. This is the Agenda.
Speaker 3 (00:08):
Podcast for the first of October.
Speaker 4 (00:11):
The Agenda Podcast, the home of sporting nonsense and clap Trap,
brought to you my Export Vulture.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Morning, Jeremy, Morning, Mike.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
How are you?
Speaker 2 (00:21):
I don't I'm gonna be honest, worse than yesterday.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
Yeah, I know the feeling, so am I.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Yeah, it's we landed on Friday. It is Tuesday now,
and I'm just wondering when it's going.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
To get better. Yeah. I think what happens is when
you go away to Europe for seven days, and we
went for seven days. We're on the ground for seven days. Yeah,
was it six? Six nights?
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Seven days?
Speaker 3 (00:45):
Yeah, that's not many. So by the time you arrive
after your twenty seven hour flight, and before we start
talking about this, a lot of people will go, we'll
be saying crime a river. Oh, but before you And
I'm not complaining about the trip.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
I'm not. I'm like, it's worth it. This pain is
worth you.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
I'll enjoy it. But just say that when you arrive
after a twenty seven hour flight, and then you immediately
on day one tack right into proceedings within hours of
landing and not stop and then not stop that first
night there was not a lot of sleep. The second
night you really got some terrible jet lag. You're still
on the time clock from New Zealand, which is twelve
(01:22):
hours a round about, so you've reversed the day and night,
and then you go through the day and then you
go through the night and you don't stop drinking for
seven hours, sorry, seven days, and then you get on
another flight and then you make your way home twenty
seven hours and then you're back into it again. You
really haven't had time to adjust to the first part
(01:44):
of the trip, which is going over to Europe. You've
probably just got used to it when you get back
on the plane to come back to New Zealand. And
then at that point your body goes, oh, wait, hold
on here. What you are doing to me is not
good and it really punishes you. So basically got says
I'm shutting down. To that, I'm shutting down, I'm sick. Yeah,
and talk me through.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Did you had a few issues on the flight home
with your underwear?
Speaker 3 (02:08):
I did you?
Speaker 2 (02:09):
What did you do? With that underwear.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Did you just check it out? Did you? Did you
revive it? I put it in the wash and it
made the whole wash smell, so I had to put
the wash through again and have another go. But I
I had isshoes, like I mean, I'm getting old, and
I just realized I was having a lot of isshoes.
I mean, I had some kind of leakage nasal and fiction. Up,
(02:32):
I'll start from the top of gaze and fiction. I'm
blind now. I had a nasal in fiction, which was.
Speaker 5 (02:39):
Terrible for when you're flying with with your ears blocking
and then go down through the throat there was very
sore throat for some reason, terrible, and then the lung
seemed to be fine, although I did smoke two cigarettes
fallows away.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Just the two on a fierce wheel yep, stupid idea.
And then going down through the downstairs area, I was
actually okay through that. I think my guts were fine.
You got your heir.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Is shoes there.
Speaker 3 (03:07):
I was fine there. And then I turns out I
got terrible chafing in around the back passage, which I've
never had before. But I blame I blame chick. I
blame checking out of the hotel in the morning, wandering
around in Munich all day, going to Hitler's favorite restaurant,
going to Hitler's favorite restaurant, his favorite Italian restaurant in Munich.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
I can see why it was his favorite.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
Beautiful ravioli, Yeah, lovely, good service too. And then getting
on a plane at ten thirty at night, twenty seven
hours flying back to New Zealand. Yeah, without a change
of undies, without the sweating going on. There was hot
inside inside of the Munich.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
Yeah, oh my god. I didn't know if it was
us or whether it was hot.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
I was looking around for other people to see if
they were sweating as much as we were, but I
didn't see many.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
I was having some problems in that airport. I've gotta
be honest with you. But the low point came for
me when we were flying back, just before we landed
and Dubai. I had rock bottom. At that point, I lost,
I lost everything I had and you still such a
sore bum like. It was so the chafing was so intense.
I had a rash and I had a bung me.
(04:17):
Everything was wrong, every part of my body. But I
think is I'll do it all over again. I would
get on a plane tomorrow to do that again.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
It was a great trip throughout three days in Amsterdam,
three days in Munich, and we're gonna we'll probably put
this to be.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
We won't talk about it.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Anymore because we have talked about it for a couple
of days now. But we need to look forward now
to twenty twenty five because we're going to do these
beer garden tours with the Export Ultra every year, so.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
We need to somehow.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
We had Paris for the Rugby World Cup, then we
had went to October fish via Amsterdam. We're going to
find something that's going to top that for twenty twenty five.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
Can anything top that? Well, I don't know where.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
We'll throw it out to the audience.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
I guess jump on, let us let us know on
three two, three six, or maybe a talkback function.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
Let us know.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
But and then we'll work it out and see where
it takes us.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
Something Stateside perhaps, Yeah, Texas.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
I was thinking maybe barbecue.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
Get to the Home of the barbecue, the pit fire barbecue.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Does it have to be in September?
Speaker 2 (05:14):
It kind of yet? Does it has to be in
that kind of end of year?
Speaker 1 (05:17):
October September October time, So that's the only prerequisite. So
if any events going on around that time, that would
be good. Yep, So let us know if we have
I don't know it. We're just gonna have to be
a pretty year bic trip to top that one.
Speaker 5 (05:30):
Man.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
Yeah, totally.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
We took twelve great New Zealanders with us as well,
which was which is you know, a look to take
even more next year hopefully. Really Yeah, it's a very
sort after trip, Jeremy, very sought after.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
I understand why.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
I mean, you could see, you could see the vengeance
that Matt Heath took on us on us yesterday when
he pennedes up his revenge article about us leaving him behind.
But he I think he would have had a kindred
spirit in Phil from Taranaki.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
They would have just slept together.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
They would have just drunk a few beers and then
quietly slipped on each other's shoulder for most of the trip.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
I've never seen someone have such severe, such a severe
case of drinking narcolepsy in my life. I mean, he
got to a certain point, Phil and then his body
just shut down.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Trying to wake him up was very hard.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
I did you see Callum who was his travel partner.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
It's smacking him around the head, punching.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
Him in the face. Nothing from Phil, just absolutely nothing.
But he could not get him out of a cab though,
because he was a dead weight and he was a
reasonably sturdy fellow for Great New Zealander, but very sleepy. Yeah,
but I enjoyed. I enjoyed Callum and Phil.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
I enjoyed Tom and James yep, till Tom yep, good guys, yep.
And then we enjoyed mal We just heard mal Mail
came back first broken confirmed.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
She's in a cast. She's in a cast. Scafoid bone, Yeah,
she's in her cast.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
She had a bit of a tumble at Beer Feist,
so she's got a little souvenir from for the next
five for six weeks.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
Did you say she had a tumble or would you
say that one of the other one of the other
winners fell on her.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Either or I think both.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Anyway, we'll take a quick break and we'll come back
and talk some actual kind of sport.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
I don't know if you have you seen this Jerry around.
Johnny six Pest has released a book. John Johnny Sexton,
the former Irish first five eight has released a book
and as most books are looking for some headlines, and
he's dug up the semi final of the Rugby World
Cup from last year again. Can you remember that at
the final whistle him and ricco Yoanni went.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Win at each other for a little bit.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
Can you remember that?
Speaker 2 (07:38):
I do?
Speaker 5 (07:38):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (07:38):
What were they talking about?
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Well, he's he's released it in his book, and to me,
it's a bit moany for me, I'd s like harden up.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Anyway, what happened was the penalty.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Sam Whitelock over the top of the ball got the penalty.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
He's obviously still disputes it in his book.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
It was in a penalty whatever, fuck off.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
And ricca Yoanni said, get ten meters back mate, it's
a penalty. He says, back ten, back ten, and just
like was basically saying get out of here, mate, and
then Barnes blows the final whistle when they kick it out,
and then Rica Joannie says, don't miss your flight tomorrow,
enjoy your retirement.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
You can't.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Oh okay, And Johnny Sexton said, so much for the
All Blacks famous no dickheads policy, so much for their humility.
I walk, I chase after Yannie and call them a
fake humble fucker, which I think is a pretty bad comeback.
It doesn't look great me having a go at one
of them just after we've lost.
Speaker 3 (08:36):
But I can't be expected to ignore that how's it
bo call from Rico If that's what he did say.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
That's but that is a lot.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
But there was a lot of tension in that game
because you remember Brady Retellek also gave Peter Many a
bit of stick as well because he called Sam Caine
a fake Richie mccaugh. Yeah, so they're obviously a big one,
the fake humble fucker kind of things. But you know what,
I'd say, get over you.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
Well. The other thing about it is it was still
set on the field, wasn't it. Yeah, And what stays
on the field, what goes on the field stays on
the field.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
When you try to sell books.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
Yeah, that's right. But I do understand there's a little
bit of tension between the Irish and the All Blacks
and the Irish because the Irish were good there for
a while.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
They were they were They went seventeen games unbeaten. That
was their first loss. They were favorites to win the
whole thing.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
And they started to think that they created some kind
of legacy, and they started to think that probably they're
a little bit better than what they actually were, and
they forget that for the longest time, they've been completely
humiliated by the All Blacks. Yeah, but still RecA, I
mean you didn't I don't know, you didn't need to
say that I was retiring. You know, he's annoying though,
(09:42):
Johnny Sexton, I know that's what I mean. It's and
then they are not innocent, the Irish team.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
I mean the fact they were baiting Sam Kaine the
whole time about being fake Richie McCall and all that
kind of stuff.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
So I think it's just the way of selling books.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
But you know what I'm saying, thank Yeah, you're a
grown man. I'm kind of I've been called a count
many tis.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
Well, you are a cunt, So I mean it's accurate.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Yeah, and so I'm fine with it. Yeah, I don't
turn around and put it in a book.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
Yeah. I mean, what actually surprises me that there's that
level of band going on in a rugby field because
previously they didn't used to be. It wasn't a sport
that there was a lot of banter in just a
lot of punching. People were tired, people were gasping for
breath half the time. But now there's so much time
to around scrums and stuff. You've got plenty of, plenty of.
I was told that Brodie Retellek was a big chairper.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
Yeah, well he's the one that church Peter Maney. I
think what did he say? Four more years? Just the
classic Gregan thing for yearn for more years mate.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
Still, yeah, I heard that. I heard that there's a
bit more ban now than what they used to be.
I guess professionalism changed things a little bit. Yeah, I
think they he would think it'd be quite dangerous.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
So because the amount of microphones I've got around, shotgun
MIC's I've got on field, they can be pretty much
pack up anything. I don't know if you watched the
game on Saturday night, but the Georgian referee, a Count Dracula,
one of the odses, called him a stupid cunt and
you could hear on the microphone but he doesn't speak English,
so he didn't really know and you're hear in the
background he penalized Australia. Is that you can and James Carty,
(11:09):
I mean normally a professional commentator would apologize on behalf
of the player.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
We just we just laughed it off and actually repeated it. Well,
what's the deal with that? So whose responsibility is it
to not allow profanity to come through? Because is it
the host? Is it the broadcaster? No? But it's good point.
So if someone complained about that, who would be liable
for any kind of.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
It would be the broadcaster because they've broadcasted that profanity.
Speaker 3 (11:39):
Okay, well it's gin dangerous, isn't it? Yeah, especially live,
there's not a there's not a dump button like Murray
Deacon used to have on it.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
He never used the dumb button is the problem.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
He could never find it. That was part of the problem.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
The dump button, for those of you don't know, is
the four second delay that a lot of talkback hosts have.
And I'd say that Matt Heath will be definitely employing
the delay button on his first few weeks asy listeners
ring up and try and prank him.
Speaker 3 (12:03):
But that is that?
Speaker 2 (12:04):
Why?
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Is that the reason why commentators apologize on behalf of
the broadcaster for the language so they can kind of
mitigate any sort of complaint.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
Maybe maybe, But is it true that situation with Marry
Deca that what happens someone would ring him up and
start talking code with him, Oh yeah, and engage him yeah,
and then say you're a ballcunt.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
It's one of the great that but it's on It's
on YouTube. You search it, search Murray Deeka baaldcunt.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
It's one of the great.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
The guy just leads him on and he's like, goes,
he talks about Auckland rugby and one of.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
The problem and he goes, you are Damien, you are
you are, bang On.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
I totally agree the fact that rugby at the moment
is not facilitated by the right people. You're speaking my language, Damien,
And he goes, just one more thing, Murray, Yes, Damien,
you're a ballcunt.
Speaker 3 (12:58):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
It was such a long game. I've got a name
for people like you, Damon. Anyway, next call it.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
But I couldn't find the dump.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
But he doesn't have it.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
If we didn't believe in it. I couldn't believe in
the dump. Button didn't want to do it right. We'll
take a quick break and I guess it's gonna chat
a bit of black caps. So black caps to nil
Sri Lanka we now have from the sixteenth of October,
so in a couple of weeks time to the sixth
of November, we have three tests in India.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
First one in Bangalore needs to turn a.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
Bit poone yep, it's going to turn a bit.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
And Wankidi Stadium in Mumbai.
Speaker 3 (13:38):
It's got a bit of pace and bounce, doesn't it.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Weky, Yeah, not as turning as as Bangalore and Pooney,
But are we standing on the barrel of losing potentially
seven Test matches in a row.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
We are well, what would you put your house on
if you could be your house on something in that situation?
Would it be for New Zealand to even have it?
I mean, what isn't a on soon season at the moment?
Speaker 2 (14:01):
It's just finished. It was on the end of monsoon season.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
That's why that first Test against Afghanistan got okay because
they were relying on the mon season season finishing by then.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
Hadn't Has it stopped now? Definitely? I don't. I don't know, okay,
because I would my money would be on three nil,
oh man, wouldn't it be? Yeah? I mean I know,
but it's our record over there. I'm sure we've won
a Test one. We've won one Test. Yes, in the
whole history of New Zealand cricket, we've managed with all
the teams we've had, all the great players we've had
(14:32):
in the past, we've managed against some pretty ordinary Indian teams.
At times we've managed to win one Test. Do you
think that we could salvage this team could salvage one
Test when we've just been beaten too nil in Tri Lanka.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Maybe the only one, like you mentioned is wanke Eddy.
I think we'll get well and truly beaten in Bengalo
and Pune. But when it comes to wang Keitty, maybe
the Indians will you know, had the foot off the throat.
But they're playing for World Test Championship points, so I
can't see them doing that. No.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
The other problem is, as New Zealand cricket is now,
these are not stadiums that we're not that we're unfamiliar with.
I mean, our guys are through ipl have played heaps
and sim Selvie was based in Mumbai for a long
time and Bangalore and Bangalore, so you know these are
these are grounds that they know well. The problem is
that we are the worst players of spin in world
(15:24):
cricket and that is a fact. And I don't think
there's a solution to that problem because when you're growing
up in New Zealand, the reality is you just you
just don't face a lot of quality spin and trying conditions.
And I think the hardest thing for New Zealand batsman
is when you start losing wickets against spin. And you
(15:44):
think about this yourself, when you've when you've come in
in situations where a spinner starts to dominate and the
balls turning and it's hard to get established. You don't
get a short one outside of something you can smash
through point. It's not that easy. You've got to use
the pace yourself and also the other problems. And this
(16:06):
happened in those tests in Sri Lanka. Our guys were
getting starts and they were battling away and working past
half centuries. But with spin, when you've got two spinners operating,
it's it's a different rhythm. You've got to go after it.
You've got a cap, you've got to keep attacking them
to score. But every time you attack, you open up
the chance to getting out as well. It's complicated. Man. Psychologically,
(16:28):
we're just not set up for that sort of cricket.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
Yeah, we're not because you look at the domestic scene,
is not that many spinners. No, because we don't have
wickets but mine. You the wickets member the wickets last
season and they were turning like we misread both wickets
against Africa. We almost lost against the African d team. Yeah,
it's slow turn occasionally a little bit of bounce. In
New Zealand Bars Reserve had a bit of bounce and
a bit of ten spots do well there.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
But it's just it goes back generations and generations. I
mean I remember talking to Davatory. So New Zealand is
the artist country in the world to bowl spin in.
It's the one place that you get the least. You
get a little bit of bounce every now and there.
But in Australia you'll get bounced. You'll also get turned
on the final days and obviously get you get turned.
Sometimes you get bounced as well, get prodigious turned sometimes
(17:14):
in day one England some pictures turn and some bounce depends,
but there is some bounce and turn there. South Africa
nowadays a lot of the pictures are slow. They'll turn,
So the Westerndies turns a lot. New Zealand is the
last bastion of non turning of.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
Green seams slow, the last one. I suppose that's the
only reason, well not the only reason, but one of
the big reasons then Vati was damn was so successful
is because he was so tall. He managed to extrapolate
the bounce in New Zealand as opposed to just someone
like ajs Ptel.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
He's not a big man and doesn't bowl a lot
of pace. It just kind of just floats it up,
doesn't he.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
So probably the reason why you're so successful here and
there translated overseas as well. So we're going to come
into the England series potentially against England. First Test against
England starts into November down in christ Church and we'll
be coming off potentially.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
I don't know what's our biggest losing streak in Test cricket.
It's way more than there in a row. We don't
want to test until what's nineteen fifty something. Yeah, it's
true against so don't forget we were on a losing
streak from the start. But I think as well, they
are professional enough, these guys to know that there is
no expectation that we went to the subcontinent and won
(18:30):
a series. Yeah, this team is not good enough to
do that. It's a New Zealand team that's rebuilding. We
don't have the stars, We don't We just don't have
the players. We don't have the quality spinners to go
over there and win a series. So I don't think
anyone's expecting anything. So at least when we come home
to Wellington that professional enough that they'll push the refreshed
button then they'll go we can definitely win against England
(18:51):
in our home conditions. We have no doubt about that. Yeah, okay,
well you give me hope. You give me hope. Then
are you worried about the You were really worried about
us at home?
Speaker 1 (19:00):
Yeah, a little bit, because you come if you come
off seven straight losses potentially on Asia, which I know.
Speaker 3 (19:07):
Is different, but I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
I'm a little bit one.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
The one thing I am excited about is Willow Rourke
and the fact that he's getting wickets in Sri Lanka.
You'll probably get wickets in India as well. But he's
looking really good punisher, punisher, a pushally good looking, big
unit steaming in just what we need. See how he's
striking a little bit, didn't get many wickets, a little
bit of pressure on to get met Henry back in
(19:34):
the team apparently what I'm hearing. So that'll be interesting
to see what they do and what old Gary Steed
does in in India. So yeah, well first game starts
sixteenth of October, so they've got a couple of a
couple of weeks to get used to the conditions over
and there before that kicks off. All that's on sky
Sport as well if you want to see that. But
(19:55):
I think we're gonna knock this on the head because
to get a low down Yeah cool.
Speaker 4 (20:00):
You've been listening to the ACC's Agenda podcast, brought to
you by Export Ultra. For more episodes, I can follow
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