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November 7, 2024 36 mins

WATCH THE FULL EPISODE ON OUR YOUTUBE CHANNEL HERE!

ACC Head G Lane joins Lauderdale James Grey McOnie III & Manaia Stewart to preview the All Blacks V Ireland (0:00) before unleashing the newest ACC initiative - a Steve Alker Fan Group known as The Alker-Holics (17:00)...

Then the fellas address former Wallabies Captain Rocky Elsom going on the run after being sentenced to five years in a French prison and Sua'ali'i starting at Centre for the Wallabies this weekend (24:40).

Finally, they break down Davey Dumb Dumb's TV career and debate the name of the new Crowe-Thorpe trophy (29:53).

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Live for the Export Bier Again Studio and brought he
is always by Export Ultra the beer for here. This
is the Agenda Podcast for Friday, the eighth of November.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
The Agenda Podcast, the home of Sporting Nonsense and clap Trap,
brought to you by Export.

Speaker 3 (00:16):
Late morning and good morning, James Macy, Good morning. What's
going on? Mate? So much? So much Wilde.

Speaker 4 (00:23):
I didn't think anything was on this weekend.

Speaker 5 (00:25):
Now the kiwis are on, all blacks are on, and
black apps on Sunday.

Speaker 6 (00:29):
And I got an email from you, not a meal
from you. I'd love to get a meal from you,
from you saying Saturday morning, and I went, ah, yeah,
it's that's a biggie.

Speaker 4 (00:38):
The commentary is back on.

Speaker 5 (00:39):
Yeah, we mean no one wants to get on at
four am last week, no one. No one got up
for that.

Speaker 3 (00:44):
Did you get up? Did you? Yeah? Because I prefer
a live test.

Speaker 6 (00:49):
I can't handle the watching it delayed, thinking that I
don't nobody text me type thing because you know the
result is out there in the ether and it's not good,
and it bugs you, it bugs me. I need to see,
so quite often I'll just watch second half live. But
I woke up at you know, sort of quarter past
four and said, oh, yeah, might as well give it
a give it a.

Speaker 1 (01:08):
You're right because you tell yourself you won't check social
media or whatever. It's because you don't want to know
the score if if you're watching it replayed, but halftime will.

Speaker 3 (01:15):
Come around and you'll be like, fuck was chick with fun?
Oh it is beauty Now. I got tripped up.

Speaker 5 (01:19):
I tried to watch the replay, but I opened my
tab and a place to place money and they didn't
come off and I knew the results.

Speaker 6 (01:26):
Well, that's the thing. There's multiple ways. It's either a
friend overseas is the worst way. Yeah, there's always at
in England or America going oh your boys a bloody
Yeah yeah, And so yeah, that's the whole thing is
that you it's it's harder than ever now to maintain
a media blackout.

Speaker 3 (01:43):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:44):
This was one of my half back sports ideas a
few months ago. Was some way and this is for
the tear be to figure out, but some way to
gamble on replays. So if your app knows that you
haven't seen the game, and they know that you're watching
the replay as live, you should be allowed to gamble
on it.

Speaker 4 (02:00):
It's right for people putting holes in that.

Speaker 3 (02:07):
Yea.

Speaker 6 (02:07):
Honestly, you know that in New Zealand cricket grounds there
were guys on phones. Gilane, you probably know the story
better than meat. Can you pick that up? What they
used to spot fixing that?

Speaker 5 (02:18):
Yeah, but what they used to do they used to
utilize the like zero point five seconds that took from
being played to the betting closing. They've closed that loophole
by the fact you can't really bet ball by ball now,
only over by over and they leave an over gap
before you do it because people were phoning it in
from from grounds. But if he overseas ones as well,

(02:39):
yeah real quick. Yeah, they were like sex like they're
really on the button, ready to.

Speaker 6 (02:44):
Go, and so they they phone and then the bit
will be placed and then so all of a sudden
it's like money. Yeah, and they worked it out because
you can tell at a even a first class game
there's a couple of old boys and there's a you know,
a couple of like you know, statistician guys, and then
there is some random guy on the phone.

Speaker 3 (03:01):
Yeah, okay, yeah, that's what they're up to.

Speaker 5 (03:03):
But also when spark Sport came along to cover cricket.
That completely threw a lot of live betting out the
window as well because of the delay. So people were
watching it and it was a twenty second delay, so
they couldn't They thought they were gambling live, but in
reality it had happened thirty forty seconds earlier. So that's
where they kind of changed to that kind of per

(03:24):
overs and that distance they've gotten now because it used
to bet ball by ball, Yes, yeah, yeah, used to
be able to go this next ball is going to
go for four and you go, you punt.

Speaker 1 (03:32):
If they don't exist anymore, can we slag them off
Spark Sport, Yeah, well fuck those.

Speaker 3 (03:37):
Guys, because that's fun. That was one of the most
fun ways to bet on cricket. Yeah, who's your internet provider?
And oh yeah true? Actually no, no, no, we'll get
carried on. No no, fuck no, no, Fox spuck.

Speaker 1 (03:50):
It's because that obviously just didn't get They were like,
we'll pick up the sport, but they didn't understand the
whole ecosystem of sport and just how and degenerate we are.

Speaker 3 (04:02):
But it is funny that yeah, now it's so quick.

Speaker 1 (04:04):
The other day I was watching the Test match against
India and it was lunch break, so I know was
suffering through the replays that they put on the lunch
break and then I checked my tab app and they
were another work it down. I was like, and I
sat through the whole lunch break which was on delay,
and I could have skipped ahead of it. I missed

(04:25):
the first like three overs of the next session because
I didn't realize that my Sky app had a big
fan of Sky though, by the way, I love Sky.

Speaker 3 (04:34):
Every Tuesday.

Speaker 1 (04:37):
But yeah, that's what tipped me off that I was
watching on delayed. I sat through all of the ads.
All My message was like, how long does this go
for us?

Speaker 3 (04:46):
And that shouldn't be much longer. This is this is
a good game.

Speaker 1 (04:48):
Want it picks up again? But yeah, I've been watching
a replay on delay. Do you want to talk about
the crookt now?

Speaker 3 (04:54):
Should we? Let's go to the AB? So I think
it's all we care about.

Speaker 4 (04:57):
It's the Abs, It's the Irish game.

Speaker 5 (04:59):
It's Zombie Zombie Fest, it's the game of the Zombie
Battle of the Zombie Friday Night in.

Speaker 3 (05:05):
Dublin, which I've never experienced.

Speaker 6 (05:06):
Gilane, you would have been there I mean they're gonna
preload all day, won't they.

Speaker 5 (05:11):
Oh man, that's going to be a loose temple bar
is going to be going off. Yeah, I mean they
know how, they know their way around a pint a
rash anyway, but let alone a Friday night.

Speaker 4 (05:20):
But it'll stitch up for the All Black.

Speaker 3 (05:21):
So with it's the six.

Speaker 5 (05:22):
Day turnaround between two pretty tough tests and the Dublin
massive stitch up.

Speaker 4 (05:27):
So everything's against them.

Speaker 5 (05:28):
The odds are against them, literally, the timing, yeah, the
timings against them, but it's going to bed. I'm really
looking forward to the Battle of the Zombie if they
win this officially, is this the song Zombie?

Speaker 6 (05:40):
Rico Yuan's well, he's got to leave the hacker for starters,
right because you've got to go. I'm gonna and give
them a proper zombie at the end with the throats
right going, zombie right here and.

Speaker 4 (05:52):
James Fisher Harris to lose the eyeballs the best year.

Speaker 6 (05:55):
It was the greatest Pucana of all time and someone
got in the way.

Speaker 3 (05:58):
It was some sort of camera shot.

Speaker 6 (06:00):
It's like, stay on those eyes, Oh my god, James
Fisher Harris. So Rigo should if he does, does it,
He's going to take it to new levels. Yeah, you know,
like have a maybe a sivid Johnny sixth and head,
you know, just take out, you know from a mat
and two swords type thing like, whip that out and
then punt it.

Speaker 3 (06:18):
They pass it to d mach. You can drop it now.
I'm the crowd.

Speaker 5 (06:20):
I'm sure the crowdble sings Onbie while the park is going.

Speaker 3 (06:23):
They have to.

Speaker 5 (06:24):
They have to, because that'd be great, because I really
enjoyed the English walking up. I enjoyed us, you know, approach, encroaching,
you know how I you've got some dumb rule around.

Speaker 4 (06:33):
You've got to stay on your ten metal on it.

Speaker 6 (06:34):
They didn't find them though, because it was awesome theater.
I just don't find those guys. If this is the
way you've got to face a hacker anyway, you should
be able to feel the wide er. You should be
able to be close enough where you're getting something out
of it from the people receiving it, especially if you're
not doing your own hacker or Morris dance back to them.
You need to actually have your own moment, and you
don't get that from twenty meters away, just a casual

(06:56):
observer there.

Speaker 3 (06:57):
Well, what do you meet is a long way twenty.

Speaker 1 (07:00):
You don't feel the ground, you can't smell their breath.
What would the Irish do? And would they do? Like
a river dance?

Speaker 3 (07:08):
Perhaps? In response?

Speaker 6 (07:09):
I think they should do Michael flatly, But the issue
with that is that I can't see a tiger feel
on or Michael Actually Michael Porter is quite good on
his feet. The other prop tig's out, So maybe they
could do a river dance.

Speaker 5 (07:22):
Difficult with spikes though, I think because the river dance
shoes are there's kind of flat, kind kind of the
tap dancing ones.

Speaker 6 (07:28):
Well, they have to have to change into their boots
after the river dance, right, so.

Speaker 3 (07:33):
They bring out there they come out in pumps. Yeah flat, yea,
the very flat.

Speaker 5 (07:38):
Or they lay they lay out lay out some wooden
parquet flooring so you can hear that.

Speaker 6 (07:42):
Yeah, yeah, so you put the floor down, I mean
even just ply would be fine. Apply and then so
you put them on there the river dance would flatly
lead them other things when they're putting on their boots.
Will we be doing the hacker It's it's there's a
lot of admin there taping them on taping them.

Speaker 4 (08:00):
Maybe if they all just buffed a pint a guinness,
they'd be quite good. If they all split the g.
You know everyone's splitting at the moment, yes, so maybe
they all to do that and then come and point
down split the g.

Speaker 5 (08:09):
It'd be quite intimidating if a whole team, a squad
of twenty three all net the guinness and then ran
on to play.

Speaker 4 (08:15):
Jeez, the guys are fucking maniac.

Speaker 1 (08:16):
God, how's the pressure Because there's twenty three years out
on the field. You don't want to be the one
guy that misses the g of the first sip. I
mean that that'd kill you. They must have some sort
of war dance. They are warring people, aren't they. They're Irish, yeah,
Celtic warriors.

Speaker 6 (08:30):
Yeah, but they don't so then they need that little
drum with a little thumb thing and then yeah, and
then get some fiddlers out there.

Speaker 3 (08:38):
And a whistle.

Speaker 4 (08:39):
It's not overly fearsome.

Speaker 3 (08:40):
That was it. It's definitely can be. Well.

Speaker 1 (08:44):
When we were in Germany, we saw these dudes the
procession down to the beer fest and they had their
tin whistles. Some of the dudes had glock and spiels
and they were all dressed in their army gears. I
was like, if I rocked up to a battle and
I see it, bloke pull up with a glock and
spiel and a tin whistle. Boys, we are so on here.
We're going to fuck these dudes out. Shut up your
hand's shut up with a fucking glockenspiel. I'm about to

(09:06):
light these duds up. There needs to be something fearsome
from them.

Speaker 6 (09:10):
I was going to say d Mac at ten is
going to be interesting there because he's kind of become
a love and or hate him guy in the All
Blacks now this season. But obviously I love d Mac
and the thing is against Ireland. I don't think they
would have had a plan for Boden. They would have
have played Bowden multiple times over the years. But d

(09:30):
Mac is just the thing.

Speaker 3 (09:32):
It's the wild card.

Speaker 6 (09:33):
Yeah, wild card, jack in the box, What the hell
is going to happen? Random ship? Yeah, it's like look
out Ireland because everything else is planned because they are
a big, big plans team, aren't.

Speaker 4 (09:42):
They as big Bundy playing.

Speaker 3 (09:44):
Yep, Bundy's playing.

Speaker 5 (09:45):
He's a wrecking ball. Now he's get is he getting bigger?
And bigger every year.

Speaker 6 (09:49):
It feels, yeah, he's he's a broad man. I remember
little Bundy, Mini Bundy when he was starting out at
the Chiefs, like him and Tim Nuna Williams that he
wasn't too much difference in size then, but yeah, by
just kept on growing.

Speaker 1 (10:02):
Yeah Bundy, I saw he got a he got his
own Bundy burger at Meccas a couple of years ago.

Speaker 3 (10:08):
Are all around Ireland you can get a Bundy burger.

Speaker 1 (10:10):
Really, that's awesome. He went down there and did the
Donald Trump work the tills for a bit. Three Key
is in there, James Low jameson Gibson. Parker's taking his
hairline to the woodshed and just chopped it all off.
I don't know if you've seen that. He's the latest
press conference. He's in the backwards hat now and all
the highlights of him. He's just holding on to it.
So shout out to him. I dollar forty seven. I've

(10:32):
said it on three podcasts now, that's way too short
odds for Ireland.

Speaker 3 (10:36):
Have you watched a lot of Irish games, Jamesider, Maybe
I haven't watched it. I was.

Speaker 6 (10:39):
I was at the quarter final and the way they
play with Johnny sixth and just you know, it's so methodical. Yeah,
they do just sort of the forwards will decide whether
to keep it tight in a pod or they'll just
give it wide to the to the back line. But
the best forwards that doing there. One of the best
is that guy Dan Sheer, who's not playing the hooker,

(11:00):
so he's kind of the pivot. Like when Bundy scored
in Wellington that time when they won the series, Shean
was basically playing first five and then they give it
out to six and he plays the next position, which
is another pivot, and then Bundy runs this crazy straight
line and it's all go.

Speaker 3 (11:15):
It's sort of like a ball playing lock in league.

Speaker 6 (11:17):
Yeah, and it happens a lot in rugby now, you know,
like the guy who sort of has to either give
it short or the back door sort of ball, and.

Speaker 4 (11:23):
They they do that kind of workaround, don't They spin
and pop it up?

Speaker 3 (11:27):
Yeah, that's it. And so Shean's like their best pivot.
He's gone.

Speaker 6 (11:30):
But then they've got old Black Doris Plums is there.
He's amazing, Kaylin Doris. Is he the captain or is
it Tiger Burn?

Speaker 4 (11:39):
Not sure?

Speaker 6 (11:40):
But anyway, those two guys are amazing at that as well.
So they set the whole thing up for that back line.
Bundy and is it ring Rose the center.

Speaker 3 (11:49):
They're a leath Ah, they're good. Ring piece is great,
Bundy's Bundy is tremendous yea.

Speaker 6 (11:56):
And ring pieces like he's he's like conried with a
little bit more gas.

Speaker 4 (12:02):
So what are your opining in James? What do you
what do you get on there?

Speaker 6 (12:07):
I'm going for make glorious nation Kazakhstan. I'm going for
all blacks.

Speaker 1 (12:12):
Okay, yeah, I think so to two dollars sixty. I mean,
I think that's money.

Speaker 6 (12:15):
For jab and I think Damien McKenzie will totally redeem
himself and have a really good game. And also I
feel like there's players there who have yet to totally
stamp their mark on this in the season, Like Will Jordans.
We know he's a freak. It's like he might do
some freaky ship. He's due right for that. And Roy

(12:39):
Guard off the bench is yeah, dangerous, like there's there's
no weakness Satisi just every single time they will be
shipping in their pants about him. Mainly I reckon yeah,
the late footwork that Beaver talks about oh.

Speaker 3 (12:52):
Yeah, late footwork, the late did the Beaver always talk
about late footwork? When what's late footwork? G Lang? Come
on mate, late footwork and silky hands? Thanks for don't
look me like that. What the fuck is late footwork?

Speaker 6 (13:05):
This is why we will never sell our podcast to Amazon.
Like the Kelsey Brothers, you don't know about late well, why.

Speaker 4 (13:10):
Do you need to start banging?

Speaker 1 (13:11):
Taylor Swift for start m Are We volunteer.

Speaker 6 (13:15):
But I think the late football is when you're closer
to the defender, you can make it. Do you move
when they're almost committing to the tackle you get away
from them?

Speaker 3 (13:27):
The late footwear graded it.

Speaker 4 (13:31):
Yeah, it's just a bit of sideways movement.

Speaker 3 (13:34):
Just the tackler's coming in. It's like boom, you're gone.

Speaker 1 (13:38):
So yeah, for the second week in a row, James
Pconi want to ask you the same question. Ethan de
group left out again. Have you heard anything? What has
he done?

Speaker 6 (13:47):
No?

Speaker 3 (13:48):
I have people texting me going what's the group done?

Speaker 6 (13:50):
Is if I know all the naughty things that all
blacks do, I think I don't know.

Speaker 5 (13:54):
I think it's going to be something really lame, like
being late to a meeting or a bus and they
have and basically the Mighty Williams he can't drop him.
After his game last week, I think that's about it.

Speaker 4 (14:05):
I reckon his lame as that.

Speaker 6 (14:08):
I feel like they were out in the park and
he caught it duck and strangled it in front of
a small family.

Speaker 3 (14:14):
Yeah, that's all right.

Speaker 4 (14:16):
Where is that in the protocol?

Speaker 3 (14:18):
Is that in the protocol? Page three?

Speaker 6 (14:21):
And he was saying, look, it's autumn here, therefore, this
is duck season in the north, and so I'm only
just doing what you're allowed to do. This is a pest,
that's my theory. It's true, but I'll put money on that.

Speaker 3 (14:34):
Or squirrels.

Speaker 5 (14:34):
He might he might have confused the squirrel for a
possum and clubbed it to death.

Speaker 3 (14:40):
And worn it as slippers. These are things that Ethan
the group would do.

Speaker 1 (14:46):
Yeah, that's what we're hearing out of the All Blacks camp.
All right, let's take a quick break when we come
back Lane and I want to talk a little bit
about Steve Alker mcgonney. We want to start a Steve
Elker support group. We'll explain it to you after this
at all right, just before we get into our brand
new Steven alka support group, well, fangroup, I guess it's
not a support group. The Yute quick update on the

(15:08):
Yute was selling it on auto Trader. All proceeds go
to November n Z. Five thousand dollars worth of goodies
in the tray as well, So go and bid on that.
You could tease ute to three two three six. It
is still hovering around seven eight hundred bucks.

Speaker 4 (15:20):
So really that's two thy eight hundred dollars for it.

Speaker 3 (15:23):
There's five grand worth of stuff in the tray.

Speaker 5 (15:25):
For a mint ninety eight Ford falcon ut. Yes, a
sick ninety eight Ford falcon Ut.

Speaker 3 (15:30):
That's right. So but you've got all month to get
through it.

Speaker 1 (15:33):
I think that's why the bidding stagnated a little bit.
But heat up, heat up, Yeah, and get a few
of the bidders out of the pool early, you know,
get a couple of high bids in there, get the
money out of the room, and yeah, you could you
could be buying our ute.

Speaker 3 (15:46):
Are you? Are you top of the bidding? Not only
more than he didn't he bowled out at five. Yeah.
I was getting a lot of heat from Jeff at
the moment.

Speaker 1 (15:55):
Back home, she's saying, look, I just don't think we
need to be spending all this money on a yute.

Speaker 3 (16:00):
We don't have a garage. It's going to rust.

Speaker 6 (16:03):
Also, she's right, I mean everything Jeff says is right,
but you still ignore that and you just go give
her a free phone out of it, and she'll be,
oh my.

Speaker 5 (16:11):
God, Yes, and iPhone sixteen and some grocery petrol vatches
I need?

Speaker 4 (16:16):
Do you definitely need those petrol vatches?

Speaker 1 (16:19):
The thing is in sidebar. But and no shot. I mean,
this is a druve by own message. But she let's
call it one of this.

Speaker 3 (16:27):
This is a drug.

Speaker 1 (16:29):
She listens to country music religiously, like NonStop five out
twenty four seven. Our house sounds, you know, like a
fucking I don't know, he'llbilly movie. But she loves listening
to this music about the smoke and drink and drive
old us.

Speaker 4 (16:43):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (16:43):
But when I do it, she hates it.

Speaker 4 (16:48):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (16:49):
I mean, yeah, that's obviously a fantasy world that that
she's in.

Speaker 3 (16:52):
She's not ready for the reality.

Speaker 5 (16:53):
No, no, because you're the reality when you start doing
it's that.

Speaker 3 (16:57):
Yeah, it's not.

Speaker 4 (16:57):
This is not how I imagined it.

Speaker 5 (16:59):
I imagine that cowboy, you know, six foot three cowboy with
chaps and you know, square jaw smokes, smokes and drinks whiskey.
And then you tune up smashing export ultra smoking cheek
daries or smoking free vapes and turning up the work
which has got people's faces on it. And also I

(17:21):
can see where I can see why she's disappointed.

Speaker 6 (17:23):
But also like a song, if you drive her down
to the lake with your vape and your Cody's whatever
and ethan the group's down there strangling a dark and
you are just it's like not then there's mosquitos and
stuff like, It's just.

Speaker 3 (17:37):
It's not the same.

Speaker 6 (17:37):
They don't sing about mosquitos, do they.

Speaker 3 (17:41):
Why don't they at every lakes, big mosquito pulling the strings?
What's going on? All right? Steve Elker?

Speaker 1 (17:49):
He, I mean, this has been happening for years now.
But he If he wins his tournament this weekend, he
will not only take home the Charles Schwab Cup as
overall season champion for a second time, and not only
hocket eight hundred and eighty eight thousand New Zealand dollars,
but there's also a million US one point six eight
million dollar insied bonus for the season title. We at

(18:10):
the a SEC I reckon need to throw our full
weight behind Steve Alka. We want to form a Steve
Alka fan group named the Alcoholics.

Speaker 3 (18:20):
We want to get the merch made printed that.

Speaker 4 (18:22):
Oh my goodness, I'm an alcohol I'm an alcoholic.

Speaker 3 (18:25):
Yeah, I'm a proud alcoholic. Yeah, I'm out and proud.
I don't think it needs to be Alcoholics anonymous.

Speaker 5 (18:31):
No, I think because we want to be out. Yes, yeah,
we don't want to be anonymous.

Speaker 6 (18:35):
Yeah that's good. I actually went to school with Steve Alka.
I could say he's the furthest thing from an alcoholics
as well.

Speaker 3 (18:41):
He is. He's a quiet so it's always a quiet.

Speaker 4 (18:44):
Way what you have to quiet.

Speaker 6 (18:45):
So before Hamilton Boys was good at rugby and rowing
and won everything.

Speaker 3 (18:50):
Our proudest moment.

Speaker 6 (18:51):
We had one guy who won the World barefoot water
Skiing Champs. But he got up on stage of assembly
and the mixten probable. No, he would have got und
attention for that, but he The next group was with
the golfers. With they won the World Secondary School's Golf
Champs in Sweden. Steve Alka won the individual and so

(19:12):
he was the man and when they walked up, it's like,
I mean, people weren't yelling out nude, but it was
kind of like thinking you were thinking, We're like, we're
proud of them. It's like, yeah, one of my good
mates is in there, and I was like, oh, I
didn't even realize you played golf, you won the world chaps.

Speaker 3 (19:31):
We never talk about this. So they were walked up
on stage, good good lads. David Small was one of
them as well. So we had two really.

Speaker 6 (19:38):
Good, you know guys for them for their age. Yeah, yeah,
exactly two guns. And Steven Alka never really kicked on
in the in his normal life, but then with the
back of the Alcoholics and the Senior Tour, we could
actually help him just make those millions.

Speaker 1 (19:55):
You know, I think you've touched on a good point
because you know, he played in the PGA and the whatever,
the European Tour and all those tours for the longest time,
and I think he sort of flew under the radar
a little bit.

Speaker 3 (20:04):
Now that he's on the what do they call it,
the champions.

Speaker 5 (20:07):
Saw them just the Senior Master's Tour that.

Speaker 1 (20:11):
Yeah, now that he's on that and he is crushing
it like he's found a rich vein have formed these
last few years. I think the only thing he's missing
is because, like you say, he's a very quiet dude.

Speaker 3 (20:20):
You're never going to get a headline out of him.

Speaker 1 (20:23):
We could provide that for him, you know, if all
of a sudden the alcoholics are following him around, if
we go on tour, we follow him around without alcoholic.

Speaker 4 (20:33):
I don't know, James Mildy nun would you appreciate it?

Speaker 3 (20:36):
He wouldn't mind it at all.

Speaker 6 (20:38):
But the thing is he's he's not not going to
get the full laugh out of him. So you need
to bring the the other members of the Hamlin Boys
golf team, because I think David Small would have had
more of a laugh. And also Jp Gal, who's my
mate I didn't even realize play golf. Bringing him back
that actually might freak Steven out.

Speaker 5 (20:57):
Especially if you're massively steamed as well in the Hollocks merch.

Speaker 3 (21:01):
Yeah, yeah, we.

Speaker 1 (21:02):
Should release a limited range of Alka seltzers, you know,
like a Celtzer rip off.

Speaker 6 (21:10):
But that's that's a classic what do you call it?
New Zealand Boys School. You don't even realize somebody is
playing your class world class and something and this is
rugby or cricket?

Speaker 3 (21:19):
What well are you doing all day?

Speaker 5 (21:21):
So speaking of golf, our acc open, we've got one
in Auckland happening next year. It's back at Poop Hooky
the a SEC opens. There a pretty wild nine holes
three ball Ambrose time. They're a great time sponsored by
Export Ultra and Leader in Z and Valet Golf as well.
There's limited spots that sold out pretty quick last year.

(21:42):
To text golf to three two three six if you're
around the Auckland regions. It's going to be on the
thirty first of January, a Friday afternoon, so.

Speaker 4 (21:48):
You would have just got back to work potentially and
just knock off for half a day.

Speaker 6 (21:52):
No one will notice you're missing Gelane With this senior tour,
there's Stephen Alka. Will he play in Australia because we
could do an alcoholics too?

Speaker 4 (22:00):
Yeah, we have, surely they do.

Speaker 3 (22:02):
Would they come out to Australia.

Speaker 6 (22:03):
I'll get the feeling they would for something like that.
It's not as precious as the PGA, is it, you know?

Speaker 3 (22:08):
Where they wouldn't yeahnake it up because.

Speaker 4 (22:10):
He's got to live. One in Adlaide that's the biggest
one in Australia at the moment, rightaide.

Speaker 6 (22:14):
Well, let's let's look that up and see, because I
think we can do this tour.

Speaker 1 (22:18):
And alcoholics and also anyone out there who's any any
good on you know, your photoshops or someone some draft
up the merch, send us through.

Speaker 4 (22:26):
Surely get a plus something together.

Speaker 1 (22:29):
Ai is up in alcoholics golf range and we'll bring
out the a SEC alcoholics golf range.

Speaker 6 (22:35):
I'll squeeze into my old school uniform like Angus Young
get out there.

Speaker 1 (22:41):
Oh we're talking about rugby before And actually just out
in the office, Isaac piped up and was just like,
do you guys see sorely he's starting for the Wallabies
this weekend, starting at center.

Speaker 3 (22:49):
Yeah, against England? Who is it? Who is it against?

Speaker 5 (22:53):
Must he must have played England. He must have played
union as a kid.

Speaker 6 (22:57):
Though he was a freak like on YouTube's I guess
with his union skills. And there was a battle between
Ozzie Rugby and the NRL to get him and incredibly
the NRL won that battle, which says to me the
salary cap is all freaking bullshit when it comes to
the big league clubs. They pretty much managed to find

(23:19):
a way because okay, I'd say, hey, no, that's he
was just a jersey fleag or whatever, like a junior player.
But somehow they managed to win the silety battle against
you know, all those old bankers who run Ozzie rugby.
So yeah, he's played union, probably more than Sunny Bill.
But I think sunny Bill when he did his switch
like it wouldn't have been I think he was a

(23:40):
mound Albert Grammar boy. He would have played rugby as well.
It felt like he had to. I think it was
a Brad Thorne had to do. The most adjustment was
a Ford.

Speaker 4 (23:50):
Yeah, he played a lot of club rugby.

Speaker 5 (23:52):
I was down in christ Church at university actually when
he was playing club rugby, because the word on the
club rugby scene was who was gonna.

Speaker 4 (24:00):
First to ruck him?

Speaker 5 (24:01):
Because back in the days you could still you know,
give him still, give him a bit of slipper. And
he was like, I got to tag and blah blah blah.

Speaker 4 (24:08):
That's high risk. It's a high risk.

Speaker 5 (24:11):
And then running, Yeah, he is starting, he is starting.

Speaker 1 (24:16):
He just lost it there, but yeah, he is starting.
But the other thing about it is like Okay, well
who else are they going to put in there?

Speaker 3 (24:21):
You know? That's right?

Speaker 6 (24:23):
Yeah, absolutely Australia have got I mean, was it Joe
Schmidts the coach, right, so he knows that they're probably
gonna they'd lose to England anyway.

Speaker 3 (24:33):
Yeah, so I think get a few reps. Yeah, get
a few reps gin in there, play play the big guns. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (24:38):
Speaking of rugby and speaking of the Wallabies, Rockies on
the run, Rocky Elso the story the other day.

Speaker 4 (24:44):
What's going on?

Speaker 3 (24:46):
Well, it's embezzlement, it's embezzlement.

Speaker 1 (24:49):
So he has revealed I don't know who he's talking
talking to, but someone did an interview with him and
he's revealed that he's living out of a backpack, having
gone into hiding after an international arrest warrant was issued
last month by French police for the former Australian captain.

Speaker 3 (25:03):
It was to do with when he was was he coach?

Speaker 1 (25:05):
It's like in twenty eighteen club president, club president and
basically the club went under and so they're looking for him.
They reckon it was mostly as fault. He was sentenced
by a French court to five years in prison for Yeah,
he'd go forgery and embezzlement relating to his time at Nabon,
with Elsom ordered to pay one point two million dollars.

(25:27):
He said, and I don't know what reporter he saying
this there, but he said, as soon as I saw
the news reports, I packed straight away, left all my
things behind. I just had a backpack when I left,
with two shirts and a washbag. They came to the
school he was working out. They came to my home
and when they couldn't find me, they called me and said,
if you're an island, we're going to bring you in.

Speaker 3 (25:42):
I said, that's good because I'm not an island. So
Rocky Elsoon has hit the road with a rag on
his thick over his shelters.

Speaker 6 (25:51):
The one thing about it is that it does smeck
of like just some management issue about alec of money. Right,
So for that to go to court straight away, normally
that would be something that you'd have to drag on,
drag on, or you go through the serious fraud or
whatever what would happen in New Zealand. It would start

(26:12):
off as a court as a civil case. But you're
not getting a jail term for something like that. You're
getting chased around trying to say what happened to this money?
You need to be we're auditing it and you would be,
I guess held accountable in some way. But if he's saying, well,
I was a boss and I allocated those funds, that
coach is a real person, he was a consultant or whatever.

(26:34):
I mean, there's so many shady deals, as we say
in sport, that this doesn't seem as bad as it looks.
You know, the fact that it's already gone to court
is more says more about the French people throwing their
hands up and going, damn it, I thought I was
the shifty one. Someone's outthought me or whatever.

Speaker 5 (26:53):
Also a pretty easy case to win for them. He
wasn't there. Yeah, so they sentenced them in centia and
centia and.

Speaker 4 (27:01):
Said you five years jail guilty.

Speaker 5 (27:03):
It's like said, he hasn't got a defense lawyer going
oh no, no, no, he's all good.

Speaker 3 (27:08):
And he was the boss of the club.

Speaker 6 (27:10):
So really all these salaries that he's he's allocate they
haven't because they're saying are they saying he's taken off
with the money or they're saying that he just allocated
it to people that didn't.

Speaker 4 (27:19):
Do it, he said, in order to pay one point
two million New Zealand.

Speaker 1 (27:22):
I mean that's the thing that he was, you know
form the sounds that he doesn't have that money.

Speaker 4 (27:27):
No, no, so he was teaching at a school in Ireland.

Speaker 3 (27:29):
I don't know where is he. He's on the run.

Speaker 4 (27:31):
I know, we I.

Speaker 5 (27:31):
Suppose we just need a quick intinent search with which
countries do not honor French tradition.

Speaker 1 (27:38):
As he somewhere outside Americopa, he's just out of he's
out with Mega Mind.

Speaker 6 (27:46):
So if he's hiding with Meghan Mind, I mean I
feel like Mega Mind's time is up soon. It needs
to go somewhere new I mean, Australia is a big country.

Speaker 3 (27:53):
You could hide in.

Speaker 6 (27:54):
There in the interior, go walk about, to go walk
about the the seven hundred thousand and euros forgery and embezzlement.
I mean, this is the thing. If you're if you're
the boss of a club, you probably I mean even
someone like a Wallaby's forward would still have some kind
of like itemization of financial shops. Yeah, yeah, you'd think

(28:18):
that he'd sort of would realize that, Okay, if I'm
going to run this club, I'm still going to have
to work out where the money goes. You can't just
take off like that. So I'm sure his side of
the story is no, I went to this, this, this,
and this. They just pissed off because things didn't work out.

Speaker 4 (28:31):
Yeah, well it can't go anywhere in Europe, Kenny.

Speaker 5 (28:33):
No, Russia, maybe North Africa, maybe North Africa, Morocco probably
be quite good.

Speaker 3 (28:40):
Middlesh just by.

Speaker 6 (28:42):
I do remember Rocky Elson with the was He kept
into the Wallabies there for a bit and at a
press conference he was with George Gennia and I said
to him, have you ever thought about getting into pro wrestling?

Speaker 3 (28:55):
And he goes, no, was that?

Speaker 6 (28:57):
And I said, oh, because your name could be Rocky Boa,
you know yeah, and Guinea appreciate it. And Rocky didn't
really get it. So I'm I'm a bit worried that,
you know, he was.

Speaker 3 (29:09):
Maybe he is a bit doney.

Speaker 4 (29:11):
Could be any wore the gloves?

Speaker 3 (29:15):
Any were the gloves?

Speaker 1 (29:16):
Is anyone that wore gloves in the early two thousands
doing okay?

Speaker 5 (29:19):
These Tane Randall's doing all right? Tane Randall, Yeah, not
so much. Lauren Califar and callaher, No, he's that's kind
of the curse of the glove.

Speaker 3 (29:28):
Stealing, more stealing, more powerful.

Speaker 4 (29:32):
Tain war them as well as he's going right.

Speaker 3 (29:34):
Yeah's going okay, Okay.

Speaker 4 (29:37):
The hawk's base.

Speaker 3 (29:38):
Somewhere is lawyer. Yeah, maybe a lawyer. Yeah, that adds up.
All right, let's take another break. And then something that's
coming across our desk this morning. It's really.

Speaker 1 (29:49):
Made us laugh but also passed us off. And it
involves Davey dum Dumb.

Speaker 3 (29:52):
We'll be right back.

Speaker 1 (29:56):
So a real has hit all of our algorithms overnight.
So the guy got that, you got served that. Joe
Goer said that you may have sent it as well. Mcconiy.

Speaker 3 (30:03):
I don't know, but we've got the audio of it,
and it.

Speaker 5 (30:05):
Is this is why AIS invented yes, and this is
why I'm welcoming it.

Speaker 1 (30:10):
Initially, when I listened to it, I thought it was
for real, but it turns out it was a Do
you can hear it when you listen to it. This
is audio of Davy Dumdum on his first TV commentary appearance.

Speaker 7 (30:19):
Well, folks, you thought you dodged a bullet when I retired,
But surprise, I'm in the com box and there's no escape,
keen to grind your ears off like I did with
the sandpaper, but this time with some shithouse commentary about well,
mainly myself. I'll give you a bigger headache than the
one head he had after his World Cup bender.

Speaker 6 (30:37):
That's Ai Warner right. If you heard Ai Luxeon Chris Luckson,
it's unbelievable.

Speaker 1 (30:43):
Is that the one that scammed that woman out of
all the money done by Luxe and crypto scam?

Speaker 3 (30:49):
Honestly, I've heard it.

Speaker 6 (30:50):
One of the guys at work has got it and
it's and he answers questions as well.

Speaker 3 (30:54):
Sorry, mister mcconey, I didn't mean to offend you there.
And it's like, oh my god, what.

Speaker 1 (30:59):
Is that rich person accent? The accent you just did there,
that's that he does have that and all the real
rich people have an accent. Once you have a certain
amount of money in New Zealand, you get an accent.

Speaker 3 (31:09):
Little bit, Yeah, was it?

Speaker 6 (31:10):
David Higgins pronounces every single syllable, doesn't he eye drive
an LD like, I mean every He's It's almost like
I think that is something a little bit different, but
it's not a rich person thing to me.

Speaker 3 (31:24):
He's yeah, It's just.

Speaker 1 (31:25):
A Gooberrie sort of thing, you know, I speaking of Goober's. Yeah,
a man, David dum Dumb's on the on the TV.

Speaker 3 (31:30):
Gu do they love to watch? Do they like him?
In Australia they like, don't know.

Speaker 4 (31:35):
I don't know.

Speaker 5 (31:36):
People Australians I talk to don't but maybe that's why
I'm friends with them.

Speaker 1 (31:40):
How can they reconcile the sandpaper thing? The Australians they
tried to run the whole. I'll leave him alone, his
family suffering angle and we're like, yeah, they should.

Speaker 3 (31:51):
That's that's how this works.

Speaker 1 (31:52):
You do something everyone doesn't like and then you suffer
for it, and that's how society generally works.

Speaker 3 (31:58):
So yeah, David dum Dumb's gonna be on there.

Speaker 1 (31:59):
And did you see that the English test series that's
coming up is going to have a new name. So
they're introducing a new trophy for this. Oh yeah, it
is the Crow Thorpe Trophy. Oh yeah, after Thorpey who
passed He passed away last.

Speaker 3 (32:13):
Year this last year.

Speaker 1 (32:14):
Oh yeah, and of course our own Crow Crowthorpe.

Speaker 3 (32:19):
Do we like the name?

Speaker 6 (32:22):
Love shoehorn names before the chapel Headley rolls off the tongue.

Speaker 1 (32:26):
I like a border gaviscar sounds yeah, crow.

Speaker 3 (32:30):
Thorpe doesn't quite have it. Yeah, Crowthorpe.

Speaker 5 (32:33):
It just sounds like a hyphened Australian rugby league a
rugby union player, does Jeremy Crowthorpe.

Speaker 1 (32:38):
Jeremy Crowthorpe, or a like a a seed manufacturer like
Crowthorpe's sprays and seeds.

Speaker 6 (32:47):
Could be that is it was thorpey the one that
gave Caine Williamson a bat when he was just a kid.
I'm thinking one of those England crickets when they're here,
because Kane was this child prodigy. You scored a double
time and intermediate and stuff, and it might have been
Graham Thorpe.

Speaker 5 (33:04):
Actually the frpedo Thorp Yeah, ye went oh, he's this kid.

Speaker 4 (33:07):
In yeahs of the cricket.

Speaker 5 (33:12):
Also, the Black Cats have got their B team over
in Sri Lanka for a t twenty or one days,
I'm not too sure, but short format tour anyway, and
that kicks off on Sunday and our agenda hunch we're
going and back in on will Young player of the
Series in India. I think he's going to come in
with a bit of confidence. We've got him top scoring

(33:34):
at four dollars seventy, top scoring in that Wheensander in
that short form game. I'm not sure if it's a
T twentyear one day that could be a seventy favorite
because they're pretty good odds.

Speaker 3 (33:43):
The Yeah, top scorer, So there you go.

Speaker 4 (33:46):
So I'm not sure.

Speaker 5 (33:47):
Again, I'm very misinformed on this series. I don't know
when it starts. I know, I know it's Sunday.

Speaker 3 (33:51):
What series is that?

Speaker 4 (33:52):
The black Cap Sri Lanka black Caps are in Sri Lanka.

Speaker 3 (33:55):
We're back.

Speaker 5 (33:56):
Yeah, we're back in there. But they've seen I've seen
her pretty much. They've sent to the players home here
to rest before the England series.

Speaker 3 (34:02):
No one knows what for minute's going to be decide.
Didn't they get there? Yeah?

Speaker 5 (34:05):
I reckon, like, look at the conditions should be a
T twenty should be one day one.

Speaker 1 (34:09):
If the balls the same size and the pitch is
the same length, will young it will go well. And
just finally that the fellow that set out to break
the world record for the largest GPS image of a
penis has done it. He's scrawled it across South Wales
on the exercise app Strava to raise money for November.
The outline of the male Genitalia, drawn by the on

(34:30):
foot journey of Terry Rosamond stretches from hay on why
tobaka Ferni.

Speaker 3 (34:35):
They're a double securitous roots taking and Howell and Clenny.

Speaker 5 (34:40):
The best thing about this, I've seen the video of
him finishing it and is just finished the world's biggest
cock on balls and he's welcomed by his young kids.

Speaker 4 (34:49):
He just finished the balls.

Speaker 6 (34:52):
What I love is he's not a perfect specimen either.
He's the commitment to it is fantastic and he's we're
looking at him in a Union Jack pair of Andy's
fantastic stuff. I did check out, yes, Greamthorpe to give
us back to a young King Williamson, which is pretty cool.

Speaker 3 (35:08):
And crow Thorpe Thorpe lives.

Speaker 6 (35:12):
Crowthorpe's I mean already it's it's quite good, yeah, Crowthorpe.
There's a there's an accountcy firm an Auckland called Cox Arcus.
You can look it up, honestly Cox Cox arcis c
O X and then a R c U S is
the second.

Speaker 3 (35:31):
There's a Cox.

Speaker 5 (35:33):
There's an accounting joke that's just got out of control
of a sudden. They got heaps of business. We can't
change the name. Google it Cox Arcus.

Speaker 3 (35:41):
Well why didn't they got Axis and Cox.

Speaker 6 (35:46):
You know what?

Speaker 1 (35:47):
You know why it's obvious there was a there was
a I think a cafe and Barron to maraucle the
cock and pullet. Do you want to go to the
cock and pullet? Apparently pullets and that for a female?
Hen visit some you're gonna go to the cock and
pull Cox Arcus circus. Whoever's gonna make the the alcoholics merchant?

(36:13):
Can you just draft us up a week Cox Arkus
Accounting FIM, you know, reach out if you're an to
sponsor as Cox Arcus and we're not sing on the
head for a Friday.

Speaker 3 (36:22):
We'll be back on Monday. How are we the Herald
and the second story there? How we're gonna merge with
someone next? Cox Arcus is merging.

Speaker 4 (36:31):
The emerging with Seal b k R and Coxackers.

Speaker 3 (36:36):
Soldier in the business pages of the Herald. Cox Arcus
lips shut the page, shut the podcast down. We're done.
We'll be back on Monday.

Speaker 2 (36:45):
You've been listening to The Accs, a gender podcast brought
to you by Export Ultra. For more episodes, like and
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