July 23, 2024 • 40 mins
ACC Head G Lane joins Manaia Stewart fresh off a concerning dose of pseudoephedrine to discuss MAMILs and the Tour De France (0:00).
Then, off the back of LeBron James being named to bear the American flag, the fellas discuss who NZ's flag bearers should be (12:14) before unloading another 'Half-Baked Sports Idea' (15:45)...
Finally, they get around to (arguably too much of) your feedback in 'Yours Please' (20:35).
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Live for the Export Beer Garden Studio and brought to
you by Export Ultra the Beer for Here. This is
the Agenda Podcast for Wednesday, the twenty fourth of July.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
The Agenda Podcast the home of Sporting Nonsense, said clap Trap,
brought to you by Export a Vulture Lane.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Welcome back from your most recent stint and witness protection.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Yeah, in and out isn't. It's quite an emotional time
for me, But I'm back. I'm back for good this time.
All I can say is, look, say what you want
about David Seymour me and I I know you're a
huge fan. He got pseudo ephedrine back into pharmacies. Yeah.
And I was feeling crooky yesterday, like everyone's going down
with the flu, I know, but I got stuck into
(00:40):
some pseudo I found myself. Last night. I made three dinners.
I've made pumpkin soup, and then I put some mints
on for some for some spaghetti bolog knaise, and then
I cooked a chicken like risotto thing, and then I
did some cookies, and then I cleaned the house. Holy shit.
And the wife came back and goes, what I'm feeling great?
(01:01):
And she looked at the end of the bit kitchen
bench and there was just a sea of like empty
packets of pseudo. Oh it was I'd highly recommend it.
I might start doing it recreationally. Yeah, well I think
that was half the problem why I got ban initially.
But recreational. Yeah. So, God bless David Seymour and God
Bless pseudo is back on the shelves. So if you've
got the flu, just smash some of that.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Yeah, so you go and by it, then you turn
it into miss smoke that and then make three dinners.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
That how works? Correct? Yeah? Right, Yeah, it takes something
as a process.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
I got steered away from it. Last time I was.
I was in at the doctors. I was like, look,
I'm going down with a bit of a cold. Here,
can I get some of that David Seymour? Yeah, And
they're like, nah, how about you just have some of
this squadroal stuff.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
It's like, come on, mate, I can, yeah, come on,
if you get.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
To hear the treaty, but at least let me get
the pseudo. You can't have it both ways, Dave.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
Trying to get andy botox these days you have to
go pretty much like crawling on the floor with kind
of kind of gangering falling off here before they Yeah,
they're like, nah, heavily resistant these days, we can't just
dish amount. Yeah, give them to me now.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
I always think that were those like, well, look I
could give you the strongest stuff, but there are side effects.
Are the side effects worse than what I'm going through
right now? Yeah, so I'm willing to take the risk.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Well, this is like it is. And it's the same
with when they give you the green whistles a good example.
It's like they can tell when you're in pain, or
they can tell when you're really sick. Yeah. Men, when
I was in hospital, I really wanted to give more
phine go and I'd go, what's your pain levels? And
I was like, what's the scale? And they said, oh,
like one to ten. You know ten is unbearable. I'm
like a like, and I guess six. Go I'd go five. Yeah,
(02:40):
so they just gilded me back to five because I wouldn't.
They never gave it to me.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
And people are generally unresponsible. Around eighty you usually just
killed it up, going.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
Full of shit. Yeah, hate big news today, Vegas. Everyone
will see on their socials. Vegas. Everyone's trips go live
to go to Vegas. I know Grabs've got a charter
going with the Warriors. We've got a slightly different trip
organized and we're going through Boys Trip and we are
going via LA, So we're not going on a charter.
We're going by LA purely because we're going to have
(03:13):
a night in LA and we're going to go to
an NBA game. Oh what? And then why are you
telling me this? And then we're going to go to
Vegas for three nights or four nights and then do
our thing there and then go So how is a
proper sports tour? And they are on sale now from
eleven am today. Just if you want information on that,
(03:35):
text Vegas to three two three six you'll get a
link to it. You only have to pay a twenty
five percent deposit. There's the full package before Whamo, which
is about just over six grand, and then there's the
land only, which is eighteen hundred. It's up to you
what you want to do, but make sure you put
the code word ACC in because you get one hundred
bucks off one hundred and fifty bucks I think off
(03:56):
the main package and fifty bucks off the land package
if you put ACC in the in the promo code.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
So that's and obviously this isn't part of the promo.
But my degenerate brain wearing is that's a three hundred
and fifty to slam straight in the pokes when you
get to Vegas. Correct, is the way I'm looking at correct.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
Yeah, so we're not we're not part of the official
one because I don't think he reread that's not us. No,
we don't really belong to the official so they're going
to make us do stuff. I know. But this one here,
this one is a real home wrecker. Okay, this one's
a home wrecker via la to an NBA game. Schedule's
not out on the NBA, but we're pretty sure we'll
get like a Clippers game or a Lakers game on
(04:31):
that day that we land. Same as last year. The
boys trips. Guys did it last year. They took fifty
odd last year, great time. So we're looking to take
a couple of hundi. So yeah, Vegas to three two,
three six. You'll get all the details here. Twenty five
percent deposit. Just do it. Don't ask, don't ask permission,
No ask for forgiveness later. That's your only way to
(04:51):
do it. Do your instinct, follow your gut.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
I don't really have a bucket list. The only thing
that's that I'd love to do is watch an NBA
game live, watch the near them on TV.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
Wedding this I don't even ever. This is why she
hadn't told me this.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
This morning. We went out to the Warriors on Monday
and I asked them. I was just like, look, we're
going to Vegas. They actually say, he's going to Vegas
my mate's weddings on the same weekend.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
What do I do?
Speaker 1 (05:14):
The same Everybody asked the same questions, like how good
it made?
Speaker 4 (05:17):
Is it?
Speaker 1 (05:17):
And I'm like, yeah, yeah, he's yeah, it's it's like
a whole thing. It lasts, Yeah, yeah, pretty pretty rocks, rocks,
fiances great, everyone loves her.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
Of those ones we go to those mini gates.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
It's not gonna last, No, I know, so yeah, because
that's right, because then if it's if you know it's
not gonna last, you're like, right, I've got two maybe
three years of people being like you went at the wedding,
and then and the fourth year, I'll be at the
second wedding in saying it'd be like welcome back.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
Everybody good to see you.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Sorry I couldn't make the first one. So you think
I'm gonna be in Las Vegas anyway? Well this is
the thing now, Like I'd already made my peace with it.
I was like, you know what, bug, because everyone keeps
asking what are younna do? What are you gonna do it?
I was like, look, I've made my peace with it. Yeah,
I can go and watch the worries at other time.
Maybe if we get over to a magic ground, we
go to the NRL Grand Final, you know, it'll alleviate
my pain. Now I find that you're going to NBA game.
(06:10):
We have some phone calls to make after this podcasts
three two three?
Speaker 3 (06:15):
Can I dig this? Can he text it? What if
I want a trip for Do you want me to
set up a fake?
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (06:22):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (06:23):
And he has to tell us fiance, Hey, I know
you've poured your heart and so I been thinking about
this since you're a little girl. Bought the dress, the
whole thing. I've won a competition.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
I was thinking, I'll do it for you. Oh, but
you one, you have one, this competition. Yeah, I'll be like,
it's your own competition. It's it's still a competition. I
got to take it. Yeah, I don't take him. I
don't think that will fly. Yeah, well that's the thing.
I know.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Put a stand in for the for the groom.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
I don't know. It just made my life so much harder.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
At the end of this podcast, we have a dozen
yours pleased to get through, so we're going to rattle
through the top of this podcast, but just quickly. We
didn't manage to address it throughout the week. The only
person I don't know who knows anything about it, but
the Tour de France finished on Monday morning.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
Didn't they. Yeah. Every mammal in New Zealand was all
over it. Yeah, watching it, watching the catch up. Even
our own legal counsel, Paul Gillick. He's a massive Tour
de France fan. Was it a meeting with him on
my desk and we're trying to go through some sort
of legal issue you don't even know about. You probably
got a good idea what it is we're going through
that And he was wasn't paying attention, and he was
looking up at the TV screen and I said, Paul,
(07:27):
he's sorry, just a massive, a massive Tour de France fan.
He's right in the wheelhouse. You know forty's he's skinny
as anything about the size of Pagatchia. Yeah, and vinger
Guard and Pia did win, Yes he did. And I
think this is great for Bagtchia. But I mean vinger
Guard was injured coming into this. And also but I
(07:47):
said to I said to old mate, Paul is big sparkling.
I say, you pergut your man or vinger Guard, because
that's the first thing you asked. You're a Gachia or
vinger Guard. It's a bit like are you Lonel Messi
or a And he's like Pagatcha because Piggatci races and
all the races. Apparently vinger Guard just trains all years
and go chains all you and goes to the Tour
de France. Doesn't do the Gio Italier right, Tour of Southland, Yeah,
(08:08):
Tour of Southland and whatnot. So yeah, Pagatcha win's that,
but it's a growling event. You got to watch the
Netflix doco. Watch the I mean, like even the other sport.
If you don't know what's going on with the Tour
de France, don't know how it works or don't care,
just watch the Netflix doco and all of a sudden
you're an expert. Yeah, so do that. That's what I did,
And now I can hang out with all the dudes
(08:29):
and like her at the local cafe and their clip clops. Yeah,
but don't they I don't. I don't, But if I
wanted to engage with them.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Yeah, I have the only explanation I've heard for the
mammal phenomena the middle as men and like, is that
for a lot of these dudes. You know, they used
to play rugby or football whatever this sport was back
in the day. Then they have kids and then they
sort of get sped out the other end of that
and they stopped playing. Now they can't pick rugby.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
Back up again. Why are you looking at it?
Speaker 1 (08:52):
They need to get some sort of thing. All I'm
saying is keep playing cricket because at a certain point
going to show up here on a bike again.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
Yeah, there is there is that around the joints thig
as well. Like, yeah, play a lot of rugby, your
joints give way and you can't go for a run anymore.
There's a point where you can't go for a jog,
and they say it's either cycling or swimming. Swimming swimming
sucks and so does cycling, and that's why that's why,
that's why there's no hope for us. So I might
just hit the CREA team and just bowlk up. Yeah
(09:23):
it gets jack. Yeah, just get jacked. Yeah, I don't
won't be fat. My heart will stop at about fifty five.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
But that's cool. But it was going to anyway. So
you gotta you gotta pick and choose your your poisons.
I was gonna say, yeah on the Netflix docod thing,
you're so right, because I everyone's watching the it's called
receivers on the NFL one.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
Yeah, my kids are all over that. I mean, the
fact that there is fuck every second word is difficult
for me because they're on the field. I'm like, okay,
I'm trying to I'm trying not to overreact because I
know he's going to go on the rugby field this
weekend against Northcote and he's going yeah, motherfuckers, yeah fuck
you man, Like because they're at the North Shore rugby.
(10:07):
The coolest dudes on these received wide receivers. Yeah, like
loos as cats, they're like quack, they're fast, they're rock stars,
mouths like sewers.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
Yeah, no, I know that's why they because you know,
the NBA is such you're sitting so close to the game.
They were like, we could individually like boom mic each
player and just follow them around. And then they did
it for one game, didn't televise it, and they're like,
absolutely not, we will not be broadcasting this.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
I get that ship out of here. Fuck you man.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Yeah, and then some of the urban gentlemen referring to
each other colloquially was a problem as well. I see,
so yeah, they've been that. But yeah, the receivers one's
the next one on my list because I got into
the UNFL fantasy thing last year.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
Oh yeah, it's good, it's good. I'd recommend it. Yeah,
it's it's the hole you go down. Once you go
down the Sporting Docco hole, he's no going back because
he's the PGA's full swing. The tennis one, golf, there's
a sprinting one, athletics one. Yes, that's that's quite good
as well. Heaps, that's great because they're all apart from
the golf and tennis. There's heaps of smack talk in
(11:07):
the war, but the tennis one is and the golf
one is good because there's such.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Tortured souls no more about punishing themselves than their opponent.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
Yeah, so that's that's so there's a different dynamic. Same
with the Formula One actually the drivers, but then there's
the teams and then there's all this politics in the background. Yeah,
it's great.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
Well have you watched the receivers one you have a Ye,
is Darren Waller and there is. He was a tidy end.
I think he was on my fantasy team last year.
Actually lost me in the league.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
He was.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
I think he was a tidy end and he played
all season. At the end of the season, his missus
gave him the flick and he recorded an R and
B song trying to get her back, and he's like
lying in the water with like the waves washing over
him and shit.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
And then he retired.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
And I was like, if I hadn't known he was
about to do that, would not have drafted him. Because
there's good CTR and there's bad. Cittyre Hellenstein's VP, we
want to hook you up with an exclusive opportunity to
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Speaker 3 (12:06):
You can be a VIP at.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
The Warriors thanks to the ACC and Helen Stein's brothers.
We're going to take a quick break. We'll be right back.
Olympic Slane. I was just saying yesterday the opening ceremony
is six thirty on Saturday, out time. But we got
our sevens and football dudes kicking off.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
But the US have just announced their flag bearer and
it is going to be Lebron James.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
How balling is that? That just puts to shame everyone
else's flag bearer. Yes, it's like, let's just pick one
of the most famous dudes in the world, in the
history in history and give him the flag.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Arguably the best player at his sport ever, he's as
good at his job as anyone has been.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
Can we just get him to carry ours as well?
Speaker 1 (12:45):
Well? I was just thinking that who should be our
flag bearer?
Speaker 3 (12:47):
Can? Because what usay? Have we bit behind in New Zealand?
He could do a lap with us and then go
back to the States team. Just contract him just to
do a lap with our flag.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
We'll just give him his flag, Just give him a flag.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
We'll go yeah, we just what we just tailgate behind
the US team, but alphabetical it's yeah. I like watching it.
Sem Well.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
I think if we rung Uzbikistan and said, look can
we just swap spots?
Speaker 3 (13:12):
Yeah? Yeah, come on, do us a solid? Yeah, do
us a solid. We want to tailgate behind Lebron. It's
gonna be Dame Lisa Carrington surely, yep, it'll be our
greatest Olympia.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
It'll be the goat in the boat. But they have
a female and a male flag bearer. I reckon it
should be a shirtless Joe Webber with a boar on
his back. He's the seventh flaer. Oh yeah, he was
the one who had the full on like dreadlock mullet
thing receiver in the front situation.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
I think he should be out there giving it a
goosey with the like a pig that he's just pulled
out of the bush over his back.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
Oh yeah, who's going to be the dude? I guess
Hayden Wilder to be up there. I don't know Tom
Walsh here to actually Tom Walsh. Tom Walsh'll probably be
in there. There's a husband and wife, U and equestrians.
The equestrians.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
Yeah, our oldest olympian as well. I think he's mid
forties and he's a horse rider.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
Price. I can't remember his first name. I see, the
three time Olympic champion from the UK has just been
bin from the Olympic team for whipping her horse's leg.
Is it Workinger's gone mad because everyone knows they do it, Because.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
I dare say if you went back to the nineteen
twenty four Paris Olympics, they would have been betting the
shit out of those horses back then.
Speaker 3 (14:28):
There is only one reason those horses dance like they're
on a hot turn roof, because they get the shit
whipped out of them if they don't. Yes, there's no
way you can train a horse to pants around like that.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
They don't speak English where.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
Like treats, you know what I mean. You don't give
them a posse youum or something for doing a little dance,
sugar cube, you do? They do that because if they don't,
they get a massive whip around the house or the.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
Chillies or wherever they do so eaten severely.
Speaker 3 (14:56):
Yeah kidding us. I mean even Mark Todd got caught,
he did, he got caught doing some whip pairs so like,
and he did it to the horse as well. But yeah, anyway,
I diagree. So yeah, so who is going to be
got in the boat.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
And got on them both? Sure, I'm picking Tom Welsh.
Speaker 3 (15:13):
Did he do it at the last Olympics?
Speaker 5 (15:14):
Man?
Speaker 3 (15:15):
I don't know, but that's going to be a huge
gulliver and we've got in the boat.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Yep, maybe she goes on the shoulders.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
I don't know. Do they carry two flags?
Speaker 1 (15:22):
Oh, now you're asking the whole question. Surely surely they do.
Do they both hold one flag? Now that's a long
time to hold with the same flag.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
Like do they just kind of I don't know.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
We need to do more research into that instead of
doing research into half baked sports ideas, which I have
been doing this morning. And so it is time for
another half baked sports idea.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
Half baked sports idea.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Grace to Survive as a TV show that's been filmed
in New Zealand.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
Have you heard of this? Yeah, I've heard this is
the Wicker. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
So they it's just one of those situations where they
like drop them off beer Girl's style. It's like you've
just got to make your way down wherever and survive
out in the wild, and they found a wika and
killed it and ate it, which always cracks me out.
But this kind of thing happens, and everybody's you know,
people have been going absolutely ape shit online like so
many wickers.
Speaker 3 (16:17):
Disgusting.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
It shouldn't be doing it with our protect the SPECEI
and I understand that Pookick is protected.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
God no, no, how can they not?
Speaker 1 (16:24):
Yeah, because they can survive through Yeah they are, but
it's because there's so many of them. They can survive
through anything. They'll wing rats Pookick. Don't let the colors
fool you. They're basically like half half pigeon, half tyrannosaurus
recks and they just that's why you see them in
every big city there's like Pookick, like right in town.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
I see Wicked everywhere as well. Yeah, cow, I mean
you can't get rid of the little shits.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Yeah yeah, well it's a is it a predator free island?
I think they're trying to make it one anyway, long
short of it, as you can't eat those And so
they've been told off, and now there's all these everybody's
sounding off in the comments, all the producers, blah blah,
blah blah. And this happens from time to time. Someone
will lead a bloody woodpigeon or something and then get
in deep shit.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
They look delicious. Look they look so tasty. A weaken
not so much. No, that looks terrible.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
But my solution to all of this, and a half
back sports idea that's not related to sport at all,
is farm them.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
If we farmed wicker well, no animal's ever gone extinct
from farming.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
Sheep or cow is going to go extinct anytime soon.
A chicken's going to go extinct anytime soon.
Speaker 3 (17:33):
This is not a half back sports idea or a
half baked idea, because I think there is a guy
who does farm wacker and it's called waker waker wou
and Jeremy Wells. Jeremy Wells went and visited him. I
think he's out on the Chathams or an island where
they're allowed. They're permitted to eat wecker and he farms
(17:55):
them and he makes worker socks and stuff, so they
pluck them and they make garments out of them and
eat them. Wick a wicker Woo. He visited the guy.
It's and the reason it's called wicker work of woo,
because that's how he calls them over to feed you.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
He probably could have get there on a house. To
be fair, I don't know if I would have been
broadcasting that every dairy farmer has a horrifically embarrassing way
that they call the cows, and I wouldn't be broadcast
against to the world. But yeah, you do the same
thing with kiwis. You could do the same thing with
any of the endangered species that we have.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
So it's I don't know if they're good eden or not.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
I guess the problem with the kiwi is the gestation
period and the fact that they only lay one egg.
Speaker 3 (18:34):
Yeah, well, can we do some I mean, like we
didn't we gently modify a sheep a while ago, and
there's that controversy about that sheep. Can we just modify
a kew to fart out a few more eggs? Well?
The only way you make them a bit smaller.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Yeah, that's right, And the only way we could do
that would be if we were farming them. That would
then lend itself to like a Jurassic Park type situation
where the kiwi egg is so big you could conceivably
plant more DNA in there and then bring them back
now all of a sudden, you only get a farm
one of those a year, and you're sweet.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
We're already in trouble with Doc about our stuffed hawk. Okay,
oh yes, we don't need to We don't need to
roll them up eple more with our suggestions of farming kiwi.
But I'd rather eat Would you rather eat a kiwi
or a wicker kiwi? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (19:20):
Way fatter and just funny. I think if you're you know,
if you're telling someone from overseas and they're like, oh,
have you ever seen a kiwi?
Speaker 4 (19:26):
Birds?
Speaker 3 (19:26):
I've ever seen none? I ate one.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
I think that's just the most bitty.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
I don't think. I think most people know what a
wicker is. But people overseas, you go, I ate a key.
He goes, all right, okay, you can eat them, can you?
I don't think they They wouldn't. But know that there's
only about fifty of the brown spotted.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
One because everyone else is national bird is just everywhere.
Speaker 3 (19:45):
Yeah or yeah, Like in Sri Lanka, the national bird
is called a jungle fowl. It's basically a jungle chicken.
So it runs around in the jungle looking all colorful.
But that's the National bird. It's a jungle chicken, so
maybe we should change ours to a seagulls, I mean
chicken sparrow. It's bin chicken.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Fantails not in your house, yes anyway, farming worker, farming kewy.
Speaker 3 (20:09):
That's my idea. Keep them alive.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
Shep aren't going out of style anytime. So just before
we go to an air break, snack changing sports scholarship lane,
we're binge watching. Sport is a sport. We've got a
few more of these to give away yet. If you
want to enter that DROI Conitects chip to three two
three six, follow the link and you could be in
to win the Ultimate acc Price pack. All right, we
need to take a break because when we come back,
we have a dozen yours please voicemails to get through.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
Yours please, brought you by Leader Home of the LA.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
Just couldn't bring myself to leave you any of these
out today, so we're going to get through all of them.
Speaker 3 (20:46):
First call here yours please, Yeah, you get over their
team heye.
Speaker 6 (20:52):
Just a quick call regarding South Canbury. I've actually just
picked up the signing.
Speaker 5 (20:57):
Of Chiefs Legion Tim Mumba picker Elliott, so I feel
like there could be a call to Hecker about all
these South.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
Comments to see if anyone wants to go to his
face anyway.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
Cheers, Yeah, so he Yeah, he's a retired professional athlete. Now,
Hecky Elliott. He's moved down to the McKinsey country and
he's playing for McKinsey down there in the local camp.
He's just been picked for the South Canary squad. Obviously
pretty handy rugby union footballer.
Speaker 7 (21:29):
I like that.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
So all the people that are saying fuck South Canterbury,
WHI should direct them to heck Elliott? And would you
say it to his face? And evidently people have been too,
because there were there.
Speaker 6 (21:40):
Was like a.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
Like an investigation or like an official complaint laid because
people were sledging him from the sideline and there's like
unnecessary rouffage on him as well, which is very South
caentrary to be like oh you played for the or Blacks,
did you? Or let's ever go there, you know, And that's.
Speaker 3 (21:55):
The size of him, I know. But this is why
I I would if I I was.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
An ex professional athlete, I just would not go back
and play that sport again because everybody's going to be
out there like wanting to take your head off. If
you're a cricketer, they're going to want to bowl your
bouncy out or whatever like Kyle Mills did.
Speaker 3 (22:12):
Yeah to Brian. But I can see in rugby it's
a bit different cricket. I can see why there's no
wine because you get as you get older, but slower
reactions go. And rugby you're still a big steak and
you can still cause some damage. So if someone's giving
you stick, I'd say to Hecker Alli, you mate, run
it straight. Yeah, run it straight, mate, It's not running
(22:34):
your mouth off, and run it straight and watch Hecker
Elliott send them into the sub canopy.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
And he's going to be doing it all season long.
For South Canterbury, can.
Speaker 3 (22:43):
We do something down there? We need to go down
to South kener Can we go to a South Canterbury
North Otago game.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
Yeah, I'd love to just do that.
Speaker 3 (22:49):
I shout the bar.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
The only problem is I feel like most people down
there aren't aware of this, and they won't even better.
They won't be until I show up and we run
this whole promo around Fox South canterber And he was
but why is he back here?
Speaker 3 (23:06):
First of all, at all.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
And secondly, why has.
Speaker 3 (23:09):
He brought all these people saying we need to unfox
South Kenbury.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
They campaign to unfox South Canibrey.
Speaker 3 (23:20):
You're getting paid from South Kenby.
Speaker 8 (23:24):
That broke.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
They can't even send the team up to play for
the shield. H A, I'm launching an unfox South Canibury.
That that needs to be the new sign off for
every voicemail. Unfox South Cannlebury. He to gun fox South
Canbery right another leave another to get through. Let's keep
guarding yours place.
Speaker 8 (23:40):
Yeah, get a flowers. Just following up on the nice
sports at school, what you came up with and being
to etctera, did you guys either have a caretaker or
male teacher that would come down and play what the
kids play sports? Or the kids at lunchtime where one
of each and they used to out of each other
(24:03):
playing cricket And I think it was all because they
were after the same female teacher.
Speaker 3 (24:09):
Oh interesting, Drummond. So a little bit of peacocking going on. Yeah,
the groundsmen come in and peacocking in front of the
staff room. Perhaps we did have a teacher who was
like quite a handy basketball player.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
Was the only male teacher that we had and we'd
play rugby with a ball like a soccer ball, and
he would come play at lunchtime as well. But the
thing was he would have to dribble the ball while
we were playing, so everyone else was just like tackle rugby.
But then if the teacher got the ball, he had
to dribble it to give him some sort of handicap.
Otherwise it was too easy. We did have shout out
to mister Matheson. He was our groundskeeper when I was
(24:43):
at primary school. One day we were playing tennis and
a kid was sitting up on the umpire's chair thing
just kept hitting balls at me while I was trying
to play. I was like, fucking Simon, grind, turn around,
slam the ball at and well Simon comes down off that.
They starts chasing me with his racket. So we're doing laps.
There's two tennis courts and we're just doing lapse of
the two tennis courts and I'm running past Missus Firth
(25:03):
is standing on the sideline and I was like, oh amaze.
She's like I can't you know all the teachers are female.
They couldn't stop him, and I kept doing laps and
then I came back past again. She goes, We've gone
to get mister Matheson. He's on his way. Just keep
running gun till he hits here. It's so I'm doing
laps of the fence. Simon's just in a fit of rage,
trying to kill me with this tennis racket because I've
(25:24):
branded him with the tennis ball and had to wait
for mister Mathison to come from the other side of
the field.
Speaker 3 (25:30):
It sounds like mister Mathison might have been quite busy
busy man.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
You know, it's like a rural school, so these massive,
sprawling grounds's way down the back.
Speaker 3 (25:39):
We had to get a caretaker called Malcolm. Malcolm was
so deaf he used to talk like Lance Ken's and
it was impossible to talk to him about actual death. Yeah,
it was impossible to talk to him about what condition
we wanted our pitchon for the cricket because he was
also the groundsman, so it was very hard to communicate
a lot of sign land which but he was a
(26:00):
great man, Malcolm RP. I don't think he's around anymore.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
I allowed he allowed Jeremy Wells.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
The keys to the groundsman shared and Wells would be
stoned high as a kite at high school and get
hold of the roller and he would roll the pitch
all night as the most Jeremy ship before a into
school game. He rolled it. He couldn't sleep, He rolled
it all night and he just turned it into an
absolute dust bowl in which victory came out and turned
(26:30):
it square.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
Jeez, we needed to get Jerry out on the on
the roller before black Apps games.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
Yeah, totally all night zz So what do you do?
What do you way up all night rolling? It's God
bless him? Malcolm, was it? Yeah? Malcolm? That was going
to be my name was.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Yeah, they were going to call me Malcolm, Big mal
I don't know how my life would have been different,
but guarantee it would have another call here your Spurs.
Speaker 6 (26:57):
Get a team Andrew from Napes here just kid up
on some old podcasts and just came across the one
following the second Test against England and Auckland when you
regaled us with a story via Piney of Gabriel who
couldn't set up his box. Can I employ all the
acc youngsters who get invited to set up their grandparents
(27:17):
box to go and set it up, stick it online,
leave it there, don't tell them the code, make him
sit through it. Cheers.
Speaker 3 (27:24):
Yeah, poor Gabriel, what a legend he was.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
I've known so many times. If that was a setup
by us.
Speaker 3 (27:30):
No, because he did sound it did sound like an
AI old man. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
And also all the things he was complaining about, like
all the things that Boomer's traditionally complained about about us.
Speaker 3 (27:41):
Yeah, but no, it wasn't set up.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
And yeah, absolutely if you are called around to your
parents your grandparents place, to set up the skybox for
them or even show them how the app works, check
it on ours and don't tell them how to change it.
Speaker 3 (27:53):
Now the call it yours pace.
Speaker 9 (27:54):
Yeah, good a fellas love the Matt and Jerry Show.
Oh fuck, those are my notes for the next voicemail. Shit,
that's embarrassing anyway, I reckon the best way to describe
the difference between League and Union to Americans as like
softball and baseball the same but different.
Speaker 3 (28:10):
Anyway.
Speaker 9 (28:10):
Fuck Taranaki dot dot dot ah.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
Did you listen to the podcast yesterday We're talking to
about around what's considered past egg in a text or
things situation. I've only just found out that I use
the thumbs up at the end of my like I'll
write something like yep, sweet, I'll do that, and I
put a thumbs up, because otherwise I come across quite Kurt.
Apparently that comes across across as quite past egg. And
(28:33):
also the dot dot dot, And he's pointed out, you
use the dot dot dot quite a bit.
Speaker 3 (28:38):
I do Do you mean it?
Speaker 1 (28:39):
Do you intend it to be passive? Aggressive?
Speaker 6 (28:41):
No?
Speaker 3 (28:41):
Not really. I leave the conversation open for you to reply, yeah, right, Manaia,
why aren't you at work?
Speaker 10 (28:47):
This is this is what I was.
Speaker 3 (28:50):
And then you go it's open invitation. I please respond,
and you go, ah, I share my pants. Sorry, and
I'll be like, thumbs up. Cool.
Speaker 1 (28:58):
And then I take the thumbs up as a sign aggression,
not because we're saying like some people do, take it
as the dot dot dot is like a pass egg thing.
But you're seend a message and just be like, hey,
great work this week, dot dot dot, have a great weekend,
dot dot dot. It's like, not meant past egg at all.
But then you sit in this like the fuck did
he mean they have a great week?
Speaker 3 (29:16):
What is it? I'll tell you. I'll tell you what.
I'll tell you what really fucks with boomers and that
is how they read text messages. They lose their mind.
My my mum. If I send just years back, it goes,
will you be homestaffed? And yes, I'm sorry, I won't
come again, and I'm like, no, I just said yes,
goes well yeah, but what you said it well, I
always say sorry, hey, how are you? I'm good, thanks, hope,
(29:39):
everything's good. Yeah, we're around the softernoon'll be great to see.
That's what they expect back, yeah, but then not just
a call something. So just this tension just keeps going
backwards and forwards. It's like, I think it's just a yes.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
I think as the people, just everyone that speaks English
needs to figure out like a universal what like is
there that this is the pass egg emoji, this the
sarcasm emoji, you know, and we all just need to
agree on the thing because you know your mum's when
you say yes and she goes, oh, that's past. So
you might go yes and then put her thumbs up.
She likes that, then you send that to someone else
(30:12):
fucking thumbs up all about or.
Speaker 3 (30:13):
Yes dot dot dot yeah exactly, says yeah, I guess,
yeah exactly, that's how Yeah. Maybe haven't even got to
go through nine. Yeah, all right, keep going you please.
Speaker 5 (30:26):
Good a petition for g Lane not to go to
Vegas or become a resident of.
Speaker 6 (30:32):
Vegas for a month or so.
Speaker 5 (30:36):
Go, get a citizenship, get married, meet Elvis, meet fucking Trump, Biden,
do whatever you've got to do. Overnight bride, overnight citizenship,
don't go to Vegas, don't let Keesy commentate, go worries.
Speaker 3 (30:52):
Yeah, so yeah, convent the curse. Yeah, but I mean
it's quite hard. I mean, look, I'd love to get
a green cat. It's not that easy. You don't just
go to Vegas and and Mary Elvis's assistant. You got
to get a green cat involved, Yeah, something like I'd
love to If you can get me a green cat,
I'm into it. Otherwise see in Vegas.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
All right, another call.
Speaker 3 (31:10):
Here, yours please.
Speaker 4 (31:12):
Gooday voice. Just on the topic of the Olympics. Chat
sort of having to think, well, what we could do
to really push the sport forward. You know, I was
kind of thinking maybe a bit of a mash up
between the summer and Winter Olympics. We can go for
a long jump with ski boots on. That would be
a good laugh, very entertaining. Or we could go for
(31:35):
the snowboarding pole bowl. Some great ideas and terrible accidents.
Speaker 3 (31:39):
I'm sure, what do you think? Yeah, I love this.
Speaker 1 (31:43):
The thing that springs to mind immediately for me is
long jump luge yep. So you come flying down the
lose and just get shot out the end of it
and just how far can you go and then you'll
land in the sampit ice hockey rugby Oh yeah, I
mean ice hockey basically rug but yeah, yeah, that'd be
quite good.
Speaker 3 (32:00):
Anything on scale. Something to do with gymnastics and someone
to sports gymnastics on ice, yeah, yeah, yeah, I like
the pole volt. Anything to do with that javelin in downhill? Yeah,
so you yeah, once you hit the hit the finish line,
you've got to biff the chaplain. So you've got to
do the whole downhill with holding a javelin up above
(32:22):
your head. And then as you hit the line you
go through, you just stop and if you go over
the line then it's a default. All live animals come
running across and just hit the javelins. At Cariboo new javelins,
just pull out of your bed and just yeah, well,
like you know.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
Conversely, you could take the ski shooting what do they
call it the jewethlne where you like ski along then
you got to stop and shoot.
Speaker 3 (32:40):
What if you're just like running through a Safari.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
Park in South Africa with your gun, you know, and
you're just gonna you're running across, You're gonna stop and.
Speaker 3 (32:47):
Every now and then a small child goes and you
can't shoot that one like like on the kind of training. Yeah. Yeah,
so if you shoot that when you're just qualified, not
real kids obviously, no pictures of pop ups.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
Yeah, love that. Love the snowboarding polvo. Another one here
at your sports good.
Speaker 3 (33:05):
I made you just saw the d Olympics.
Speaker 11 (33:08):
I wonder if they could use that spray on shoe
technique for your your downstairs operation might be required if
you're a male roller, because I'm your best dangling round
one of those boats I did.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
Yeah, so we're talking about should we go back to
the original Olympics and do the more nude But I
guess what I did in factor in is that they
didn't have boats with moving seats back in the original Olympics.
Speaker 3 (33:32):
Or cycling cycling.
Speaker 1 (33:33):
Yeah, they certainly didn't have Winter Olympics, so you know,
you couldn't do the bob slid stark naked.
Speaker 3 (33:41):
But yeah, I don't. I don't.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
Maybe it is completely nerd except for the spray on.
Have you seen those sprown shoes. We were talking about
them yesterday, sprown shoes now spraying downstairs loin cloth.
Speaker 3 (33:50):
Yeah, to help you get down the louge. I like it.
Speaker 1 (33:53):
Another call it your spurts, good air lads.
Speaker 11 (33:56):
I've always had the idea of combining Olympic sports so
you're running at the same time. So for example, you
could have the two hundred meter run and the javelin
going all at the same time, and the javelin guys
are trying to now the runners combined teams one points
that way. Or you could just put the hammer throw
cord next to the hockey turf, or put the triathlon
(34:19):
in the same area as the rowing.
Speaker 3 (34:21):
It could be a good bit of fun. Ah. I
quite like that. I quite like that. You could put
the hammer throw like in the sailing, so it's like
basically sending cannon balls out into the ocean to fire
off the side of the laser. So basically the hammer
throwers are on shore and then they're like the forty
(34:42):
nine at Sales are sailing off shore and they're basically
hiffing hiffing steel balls out into the harbor. I like that.
Speaker 1 (34:49):
I love the triathlon at the same time as the
rowing as well. Like, oh you're worried about the pools
and the seine, what about getting cleaned up by the men's.
Speaker 3 (34:56):
Eight foiling foiling with getting the boilers. Just I'm a
big fan of this. I'm always a big fan of
the super event as well. Just put it all together
and and want and just see what happened the hell.
So yeah, yeah, I mean the marathon at the same
time as the cycling as well.
Speaker 1 (35:14):
So there's a couple of good videos out there of
dudes getting skewed by pole voltze Evelyn.
Speaker 3 (35:20):
It's ugly. Oh yeah, it's usually, but it's usually Marshalls. Yes,
some old dude with a clipboard who.
Speaker 1 (35:26):
Just gets pegged from behind and he's like or maybe
to speed the whole thing up, like you could run
the one hundred meters heats from opposite ends.
Speaker 3 (35:35):
That's great, see how they.
Speaker 1 (35:38):
Go, brilliant idea. Thank you very much for the call.
Another one here yours please.
Speaker 3 (35:43):
I'll get it.
Speaker 7 (35:44):
Get off your cousin and iron g lane joke here
from the only station with Kenny. Here's the thing. Every
time to Mudie Martin goes pig hunting, the Warriors win
Major ground, Him and his horse and his dogs would
bet the Panthers, Dolphins, him and Jaars, the Cowboys, Him
and Dylan Walker. And when we beat the Broncos, him,
Dylan Walker and Jess Tovanger went pegannning.
Speaker 3 (36:08):
This is proven.
Speaker 7 (36:09):
Let the man go pegannning. Mid week we win fuck
South Canbury.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
Thanks Jack. I think he was the original Fox South Canbary.
Speaker 3 (36:16):
Yeah, I think he was. I like it. I think
you know.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
There's a photo that came out of him and Jesse
Sevanger and he's on a horse to Mighty Martiner's Jesseevunger's
pulling a peg out of the bush. Probably the first
warning sign that he wasn't in rehab. And I just
thought when I saw that photo, to Mighty Martin is
the man that every New Zealand bloke thinks he is.
You know, we all think we'll think that has these rugged. Yeah,
I love the city.
Speaker 3 (36:40):
Now look and kill pegs. That was his week.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
He went out and killed a peg with his hands,
and then on the weekend he played half back for
the Warriors. Like if it was a movie, you'd be like,
oh bullshit, I love it. Send him out, Send him
out into the bush, Send himighty out in the bush.
Speaker 3 (36:54):
Today. I don't even see them to the bush. Just
sen him for some farm to kill a pegi to him.
Yeah we can't. Yes, some bring a pick to Mount
Smart and just didn't kill it. Sacrifice. Yeah, someone please
halfway just.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
Before the game. That's brilliant. Another caller on the line here,
yours please?
Speaker 10 (37:12):
Hey, fellas on naked Olympics doing the Olympics naked crowd
have to be naked too, anyway? Fuck something?
Speaker 3 (37:26):
No, the crowd doesn't need to be nude. I think
that's the step too fast.
Speaker 1 (37:28):
No, I think we I think. Do you remember when
the NBA brought in the T shirt jerseys. They played
a season where they had T shirts instead of singlets,
so they had like an alternate strip and it was
a T shirt. And the issue was is because fans
are showing up to games and singlets and no one
wants to sit next to a big, sweaty dude and
a single for like two hours. So add on top
of that, he's also got no pants on. You know,
(37:50):
I don't think we want that. It's only for the athletes.
Another caller here.
Speaker 12 (37:54):
My first time call, a long time listener. Just think
about the alternative Olympic sports. I mean, I know you
guys have talked about the All Star weekend a lot,
But last day of the Olympics, every character he puts
forward some athletes for bull rush. I think it'd be
bloody good. You've got seven players, of course, been you
at your track guys. You got field people who've got
(38:15):
to throw some turn around. You got the swimmers. They're
just slippery. I guess could be a girl.
Speaker 4 (38:22):
I like that.
Speaker 6 (38:23):
I like that.
Speaker 3 (38:23):
It's like the ultimate ultimate fighter at the end, or
the ultimate athlete at the end. Only issue is, once
your event's over, you're on a tear. You know what
I mean. If you're events over in the first couple
of days, you are on a tear in the village,
you're on a tear in Paris. The last thing you
want to do is dragged carcass out in the last
day and play a game of ball rush against Lebron James.
Speaker 1 (38:42):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, You've just spent four years. Thank you
about getting to this point. And that's another great point
is like, what if you're just a gymnast. You know,
you've spin around on the pommel horse thing and now
all of a sudden David Liddy's running at you and
you're gonna try and figure that out.
Speaker 3 (38:56):
It's a massive discrepancy, but you know, for the nolday
to be, it'll be true if it was an arm
wrestling or something. Maybe it's something there's some other sports
or or maybe a great level at it's beer pong,
darts and paul. Maybe it's like something a bit more
kind of a boat race. Yeah, yeah, actually that's it.
A boat race, an Olympic boat right, Olympic boat race.
(39:17):
They're at the closing ceremony. Each country nominates ten athletes,
five women, five men, and they we have an Olympic
boat race. Yep.
Speaker 1 (39:27):
I'm all on board with that. So some god, they
would be so smashed after that. It'd be so good,
the fittest human beings on on the planet, crushing purse.
One last call here, call it yours please.
Speaker 12 (39:39):
And my first time call a long time listener. Just
think about the sports. I mean, then you guys have
talked about the.
Speaker 1 (39:47):
This is the same guy, all right, then we'll bin
him we'll get another one.
Speaker 3 (39:52):
That's it great.
Speaker 1 (39:53):
Thank god we got through it. Thank you very much
for sending them all. I wanted to make sure that
I played them all. And thank you very much for
joining us on a Wednesday edition the Gender Podcast. We
will be back tomorrow for a throwback Thursday, and we'll
see you then.
Speaker 2 (40:06):
You've been listening to the ACC's Agender Podcast, brought to
you by Export Ultra. For more episodes, like and follow
on iHeartRadio for willo of you get your podcasts
Live for the Export Beer Garden Studio and brought to
you by Export Ultra the Beer for Here. This is
the Agenda Podcast for Wednesday, the twenty fourth of July.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
The Agenda Podcast the home of Sporting Nonsense, said clap Trap,
brought to you by Export a Vulture Lane.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Welcome back from your most recent stint and witness protection.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Yeah, in and out isn't. It's quite an emotional time
for me, But I'm back. I'm back for good this time.
All I can say is, look, say what you want
about David Seymour me and I I know you're a
huge fan. He got pseudo ephedrine back into pharmacies. Yeah.
And I was feeling crooky yesterday, like everyone's going down
with the flu, I know, but I got stuck into
(00:40):
some pseudo I found myself. Last night. I made three dinners.
I've made pumpkin soup, and then I put some mints
on for some for some spaghetti bolog knaise, and then
I cooked a chicken like risotto thing, and then I
did some cookies, and then I cleaned the house. Holy shit.
And the wife came back and goes, what I'm feeling great?
(01:01):
And she looked at the end of the bit kitchen
bench and there was just a sea of like empty
packets of pseudo. Oh it was I'd highly recommend it.
I might start doing it recreationally. Yeah, well I think
that was half the problem why I got ban initially.
But recreational. Yeah. So, God bless David Seymour and God
Bless pseudo is back on the shelves. So if you've
got the flu, just smash some of that.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Yeah, so you go and by it, then you turn
it into miss smoke that and then make three dinners.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
That how works? Correct? Yeah? Right, Yeah, it takes something
as a process.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
I got steered away from it. Last time I was.
I was in at the doctors. I was like, look,
I'm going down with a bit of a cold. Here,
can I get some of that David Seymour? Yeah, And
they're like, nah, how about you just have some of
this squadroal stuff.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
It's like, come on, mate, I can, yeah, come on,
if you get.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
To hear the treaty, but at least let me get
the pseudo. You can't have it both ways, Dave.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
Trying to get andy botox these days you have to
go pretty much like crawling on the floor with kind
of kind of gangering falling off here before they Yeah,
they're like, nah, heavily resistant these days, we can't just
dish amount. Yeah, give them to me now.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
I always think that were those like, well, look I
could give you the strongest stuff, but there are side effects.
Are the side effects worse than what I'm going through
right now? Yeah, so I'm willing to take the risk.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Well, this is like it is. And it's the same
with when they give you the green whistles a good example.
It's like they can tell when you're in pain, or
they can tell when you're really sick. Yeah. Men, when
I was in hospital, I really wanted to give more
phine go and I'd go, what's your pain levels? And
I was like, what's the scale? And they said, oh,
like one to ten. You know ten is unbearable. I'm
like a like, and I guess six. Go I'd go five. Yeah,
(02:40):
so they just gilded me back to five because I wouldn't.
They never gave it to me.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
And people are generally unresponsible. Around eighty you usually just
killed it up, going.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
Full of shit. Yeah, hate big news today, Vegas. Everyone
will see on their socials. Vegas. Everyone's trips go live
to go to Vegas. I know Grabs've got a charter
going with the Warriors. We've got a slightly different trip
organized and we're going through Boys Trip and we are
going via LA, So we're not going on a charter.
We're going by LA purely because we're going to have
(03:13):
a night in LA and we're going to go to
an NBA game. Oh what? And then why are you
telling me this? And then we're going to go to
Vegas for three nights or four nights and then do
our thing there and then go So how is a
proper sports tour? And they are on sale now from
eleven am today. Just if you want information on that,
(03:35):
text Vegas to three two three six you'll get a
link to it. You only have to pay a twenty
five percent deposit. There's the full package before Whamo, which
is about just over six grand, and then there's the
land only, which is eighteen hundred. It's up to you
what you want to do, but make sure you put
the code word ACC in because you get one hundred
bucks off one hundred and fifty bucks I think off
(03:56):
the main package and fifty bucks off the land package
if you put ACC in the in the promo code.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
So that's and obviously this isn't part of the promo.
But my degenerate brain wearing is that's a three hundred
and fifty to slam straight in the pokes when you
get to Vegas. Correct, is the way I'm looking at correct.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
Yeah, so we're not we're not part of the official
one because I don't think he reread that's not us. No,
we don't really belong to the official so they're going
to make us do stuff. I know. But this one here,
this one is a real home wrecker. Okay, this one's
a home wrecker via la to an NBA game. Schedule's
not out on the NBA, but we're pretty sure we'll
get like a Clippers game or a Lakers game on
(04:31):
that day that we land. Same as last year. The
boys trips. Guys did it last year. They took fifty
odd last year, great time. So we're looking to take
a couple of hundi. So yeah, Vegas to three two,
three six. You'll get all the details here. Twenty five
percent deposit. Just do it. Don't ask, don't ask permission,
No ask for forgiveness later. That's your only way to
(04:51):
do it. Do your instinct, follow your gut.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
I don't really have a bucket list. The only thing
that's that I'd love to do is watch an NBA
game live, watch the near them on TV.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
Wedding this I don't even ever. This is why she
hadn't told me this.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
This morning. We went out to the Warriors on Monday
and I asked them. I was just like, look, we're
going to Vegas. They actually say, he's going to Vegas
my mate's weddings on the same weekend.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
What do I do?
Speaker 1 (05:14):
The same Everybody asked the same questions, like how good
it made?
Speaker 4 (05:17):
Is it?
Speaker 1 (05:17):
And I'm like, yeah, yeah, he's yeah, it's it's like
a whole thing. It lasts, Yeah, yeah, pretty pretty rocks, rocks,
fiances great, everyone loves her.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
Of those ones we go to those mini gates.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
It's not gonna last, No, I know, so yeah, because
that's right, because then if it's if you know it's
not gonna last, you're like, right, I've got two maybe
three years of people being like you went at the wedding,
and then and the fourth year, I'll be at the
second wedding in saying it'd be like welcome back.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
Everybody good to see you.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Sorry I couldn't make the first one. So you think
I'm gonna be in Las Vegas anyway? Well this is
the thing now, Like I'd already made my peace with it.
I was like, you know what, bug, because everyone keeps
asking what are younna do? What are you gonna do it?
I was like, look, I've made my peace with it. Yeah,
I can go and watch the worries at other time.
Maybe if we get over to a magic ground, we
go to the NRL Grand Final, you know, it'll alleviate
my pain. Now I find that you're going to NBA game.
(06:10):
We have some phone calls to make after this podcasts
three two three?
Speaker 3 (06:15):
Can I dig this? Can he text it? What if
I want a trip for Do you want me to
set up a fake?
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (06:22):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (06:23):
And he has to tell us fiance, Hey, I know
you've poured your heart and so I been thinking about
this since you're a little girl. Bought the dress, the
whole thing. I've won a competition.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
I was thinking, I'll do it for you. Oh, but
you one, you have one, this competition. Yeah, I'll be like,
it's your own competition. It's it's still a competition. I
got to take it. Yeah, I don't take him. I
don't think that will fly. Yeah, well that's the thing.
I know.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Put a stand in for the for the groom.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
I don't know. It just made my life so much harder.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
At the end of this podcast, we have a dozen
yours pleased to get through, so we're going to rattle
through the top of this podcast, but just quickly. We
didn't manage to address it throughout the week. The only
person I don't know who knows anything about it, but
the Tour de France finished on Monday morning.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
Didn't they. Yeah. Every mammal in New Zealand was all
over it. Yeah, watching it, watching the catch up. Even
our own legal counsel, Paul Gillick. He's a massive Tour
de France fan. Was it a meeting with him on
my desk and we're trying to go through some sort
of legal issue you don't even know about. You probably
got a good idea what it is we're going through
that And he was wasn't paying attention, and he was
looking up at the TV screen and I said, Paul,
(07:27):
he's sorry, just a massive, a massive Tour de France fan.
He's right in the wheelhouse. You know forty's he's skinny
as anything about the size of Pagatchia. Yeah, and vinger
Guard and Pia did win, Yes he did. And I
think this is great for Bagtchia. But I mean vinger
Guard was injured coming into this. And also but I
(07:47):
said to I said to old mate, Paul is big sparkling.
I say, you pergut your man or vinger Guard, because
that's the first thing you asked. You're a Gachia or
vinger Guard. It's a bit like are you Lonel Messi
or a And he's like Pagatcha because Piggatci races and
all the races. Apparently vinger Guard just trains all years
and go chains all you and goes to the Tour
de France. Doesn't do the Gio Italier right, Tour of Southland, Yeah,
(08:08):
Tour of Southland and whatnot. So yeah, Pagatcha win's that,
but it's a growling event. You got to watch the
Netflix doco. Watch the I mean, like even the other sport.
If you don't know what's going on with the Tour
de France, don't know how it works or don't care,
just watch the Netflix doco and all of a sudden
you're an expert. Yeah, so do that. That's what I did,
And now I can hang out with all the dudes
(08:29):
and like her at the local cafe and their clip clops. Yeah,
but don't they I don't. I don't, But if I
wanted to engage with them.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Yeah, I have the only explanation I've heard for the
mammal phenomena the middle as men and like, is that
for a lot of these dudes. You know, they used
to play rugby or football whatever this sport was back
in the day. Then they have kids and then they
sort of get sped out the other end of that
and they stopped playing. Now they can't pick rugby.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
Back up again. Why are you looking at it?
Speaker 1 (08:52):
They need to get some sort of thing. All I'm
saying is keep playing cricket because at a certain point
going to show up here on a bike again.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
Yeah, there is there is that around the joints thig
as well. Like, yeah, play a lot of rugby, your
joints give way and you can't go for a run anymore.
There's a point where you can't go for a jog,
and they say it's either cycling or swimming. Swimming swimming
sucks and so does cycling, and that's why that's why,
that's why there's no hope for us. So I might
just hit the CREA team and just bowlk up. Yeah
(09:23):
it gets jack. Yeah, just get jacked. Yeah, I don't
won't be fat. My heart will stop at about fifty five.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
But that's cool. But it was going to anyway. So
you gotta you gotta pick and choose your your poisons.
I was gonna say, yeah on the Netflix docod thing,
you're so right, because I everyone's watching the it's called
receivers on the NFL one.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
Yeah, my kids are all over that. I mean, the
fact that there is fuck every second word is difficult
for me because they're on the field. I'm like, okay,
I'm trying to I'm trying not to overreact because I
know he's going to go on the rugby field this
weekend against Northcote and he's going yeah, motherfuckers, yeah fuck
you man, Like because they're at the North Shore rugby.
(10:07):
The coolest dudes on these received wide receivers. Yeah, like
loos as cats, they're like quack, they're fast, they're rock stars,
mouths like sewers.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
Yeah, no, I know that's why they because you know,
the NBA is such you're sitting so close to the game.
They were like, we could individually like boom mic each
player and just follow them around. And then they did
it for one game, didn't televise it, and they're like,
absolutely not, we will not be broadcasting this.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
I get that ship out of here. Fuck you man.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Yeah, and then some of the urban gentlemen referring to
each other colloquially was a problem as well. I see,
so yeah, they've been that. But yeah, the receivers one's
the next one on my list because I got into
the UNFL fantasy thing last year.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
Oh yeah, it's good, it's good. I'd recommend it. Yeah,
it's it's the hole you go down. Once you go
down the Sporting Docco hole, he's no going back because
he's the PGA's full swing. The tennis one, golf, there's
a sprinting one, athletics one. Yes, that's that's quite good
as well. Heaps, that's great because they're all apart from
the golf and tennis. There's heaps of smack talk in
(11:07):
the war, but the tennis one is and the golf
one is good because there's such.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Tortured souls no more about punishing themselves than their opponent.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
Yeah, so that's that's so there's a different dynamic. Same
with the Formula One actually the drivers, but then there's
the teams and then there's all this politics in the background. Yeah,
it's great.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
Well have you watched the receivers one you have a Ye,
is Darren Waller and there is. He was a tidy end.
I think he was on my fantasy team last year.
Actually lost me in the league.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
He was.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
I think he was a tidy end and he played
all season. At the end of the season, his missus
gave him the flick and he recorded an R and
B song trying to get her back, and he's like
lying in the water with like the waves washing over
him and shit.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
And then he retired.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
And I was like, if I hadn't known he was
about to do that, would not have drafted him. Because
there's good CTR and there's bad. Cittyre Hellenstein's VP, we
want to hook you up with an exclusive opportunity to
win a VP Warriors experience. You get tickets, cash money
for beverages, and vouchers to be cuted out by the
legends at helen Stein's to get in the drawer takes
VIP to three two three six.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
You can be a VIP at.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
The Warriors thanks to the ACC and Helen Stein's brothers.
We're going to take a quick break. We'll be right back.
Olympic Slane. I was just saying yesterday the opening ceremony
is six thirty on Saturday, out time. But we got
our sevens and football dudes kicking off.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
But the US have just announced their flag bearer and
it is going to be Lebron James.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
How balling is that? That just puts to shame everyone
else's flag bearer. Yes, it's like, let's just pick one
of the most famous dudes in the world, in the
history in history and give him the flag.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Arguably the best player at his sport ever, he's as
good at his job as anyone has been.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
Can we just get him to carry ours as well?
Speaker 1 (12:45):
Well? I was just thinking that who should be our
flag bearer?
Speaker 3 (12:47):
Can? Because what usay? Have we bit behind in New Zealand?
He could do a lap with us and then go
back to the States team. Just contract him just to
do a lap with our flag.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
We'll just give him his flag, Just give him a flag.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
We'll go yeah, we just what we just tailgate behind
the US team, but alphabetical it's yeah. I like watching it.
Sem Well.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
I think if we rung Uzbikistan and said, look can
we just swap spots?
Speaker 3 (13:12):
Yeah? Yeah, come on, do us a solid? Yeah, do
us a solid. We want to tailgate behind Lebron. It's
gonna be Dame Lisa Carrington surely, yep, it'll be our
greatest Olympia.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
It'll be the goat in the boat. But they have
a female and a male flag bearer. I reckon it
should be a shirtless Joe Webber with a boar on
his back. He's the seventh flaer. Oh yeah, he was
the one who had the full on like dreadlock mullet
thing receiver in the front situation.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
I think he should be out there giving it a
goosey with the like a pig that he's just pulled
out of the bush over his back.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
Oh yeah, who's going to be the dude? I guess
Hayden Wilder to be up there. I don't know Tom
Walsh here to actually Tom Walsh. Tom Walsh'll probably be
in there. There's a husband and wife, U and equestrians.
The equestrians.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
Yeah, our oldest olympian as well. I think he's mid
forties and he's a horse rider.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
Price. I can't remember his first name. I see, the
three time Olympic champion from the UK has just been
bin from the Olympic team for whipping her horse's leg.
Is it Workinger's gone mad because everyone knows they do it, Because.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
I dare say if you went back to the nineteen
twenty four Paris Olympics, they would have been betting the
shit out of those horses back then.
Speaker 3 (14:28):
There is only one reason those horses dance like they're
on a hot turn roof, because they get the shit
whipped out of them if they don't. Yes, there's no
way you can train a horse to pants around like that.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
They don't speak English where.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
Like treats, you know what I mean. You don't give
them a posse youum or something for doing a little dance,
sugar cube, you do? They do that because if they don't,
they get a massive whip around the house or the.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
Chillies or wherever they do so eaten severely.
Speaker 3 (14:56):
Yeah kidding us. I mean even Mark Todd got caught,
he did, he got caught doing some whip pairs so like,
and he did it to the horse as well. But yeah, anyway,
I diagree. So yeah, so who is going to be
got in the boat.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
And got on them both? Sure, I'm picking Tom Welsh.
Speaker 3 (15:13):
Did he do it at the last Olympics?
Speaker 5 (15:14):
Man?
Speaker 3 (15:15):
I don't know, but that's going to be a huge
gulliver and we've got in the boat.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Yep, maybe she goes on the shoulders.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
I don't know. Do they carry two flags?
Speaker 1 (15:22):
Oh, now you're asking the whole question. Surely surely they do.
Do they both hold one flag? Now that's a long
time to hold with the same flag.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
Like do they just kind of I don't know.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
We need to do more research into that instead of
doing research into half baked sports ideas, which I have
been doing this morning. And so it is time for
another half baked sports idea.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
Half baked sports idea.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Grace to Survive as a TV show that's been filmed
in New Zealand.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
Have you heard of this? Yeah, I've heard this is
the Wicker. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
So they it's just one of those situations where they
like drop them off beer Girl's style. It's like you've
just got to make your way down wherever and survive
out in the wild, and they found a wika and
killed it and ate it, which always cracks me out.
But this kind of thing happens, and everybody's you know,
people have been going absolutely ape shit online like so
many wickers.
Speaker 3 (16:17):
Disgusting.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
It shouldn't be doing it with our protect the SPECEI
and I understand that Pookick is protected.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
God no, no, how can they not?
Speaker 1 (16:24):
Yeah, because they can survive through Yeah they are, but
it's because there's so many of them. They can survive
through anything. They'll wing rats Pookick. Don't let the colors
fool you. They're basically like half half pigeon, half tyrannosaurus
recks and they just that's why you see them in
every big city there's like Pookick, like right in town.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
I see Wicked everywhere as well. Yeah, cow, I mean
you can't get rid of the little shits.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Yeah yeah, well it's a is it a predator free island?
I think they're trying to make it one anyway, long
short of it, as you can't eat those And so
they've been told off, and now there's all these everybody's
sounding off in the comments, all the producers, blah blah,
blah blah. And this happens from time to time. Someone
will lead a bloody woodpigeon or something and then get
in deep shit.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
They look delicious. Look they look so tasty. A weaken
not so much. No, that looks terrible.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
But my solution to all of this, and a half
back sports idea that's not related to sport at all,
is farm them.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
If we farmed wicker well, no animal's ever gone extinct
from farming.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
Sheep or cow is going to go extinct anytime soon.
A chicken's going to go extinct anytime soon.
Speaker 3 (17:33):
This is not a half back sports idea or a
half baked idea, because I think there is a guy
who does farm wacker and it's called waker waker wou
and Jeremy Wells. Jeremy Wells went and visited him. I
think he's out on the Chathams or an island where
they're allowed. They're permitted to eat wecker and he farms
(17:55):
them and he makes worker socks and stuff, so they
pluck them and they make garments out of them and
eat them. Wick a wicker Woo. He visited the guy.
It's and the reason it's called wicker work of woo,
because that's how he calls them over to feed you.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
He probably could have get there on a house. To
be fair, I don't know if I would have been
broadcasting that every dairy farmer has a horrifically embarrassing way
that they call the cows, and I wouldn't be broadcast
against to the world. But yeah, you do the same
thing with kiwis. You could do the same thing with
any of the endangered species that we have.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
So it's I don't know if they're good eden or not.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
I guess the problem with the kiwi is the gestation
period and the fact that they only lay one egg.
Speaker 3 (18:34):
Yeah, well, can we do some I mean, like we
didn't we gently modify a sheep a while ago, and
there's that controversy about that sheep. Can we just modify
a kew to fart out a few more eggs? Well?
The only way you make them a bit smaller.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Yeah, that's right, And the only way we could do
that would be if we were farming them. That would
then lend itself to like a Jurassic Park type situation
where the kiwi egg is so big you could conceivably
plant more DNA in there and then bring them back
now all of a sudden, you only get a farm
one of those a year, and you're sweet.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
We're already in trouble with Doc about our stuffed hawk. Okay,
oh yes, we don't need to We don't need to
roll them up eple more with our suggestions of farming kiwi.
But I'd rather eat Would you rather eat a kiwi
or a wicker kiwi? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (19:20):
Way fatter and just funny. I think if you're you know,
if you're telling someone from overseas and they're like, oh,
have you ever seen a kiwi?
Speaker 4 (19:26):
Birds?
Speaker 3 (19:26):
I've ever seen none? I ate one.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
I think that's just the most bitty.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
I don't think. I think most people know what a
wicker is. But people overseas, you go, I ate a key.
He goes, all right, okay, you can eat them, can you?
I don't think they They wouldn't. But know that there's
only about fifty of the brown spotted.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
One because everyone else is national bird is just everywhere.
Speaker 3 (19:45):
Yeah or yeah, Like in Sri Lanka, the national bird
is called a jungle fowl. It's basically a jungle chicken.
So it runs around in the jungle looking all colorful.
But that's the National bird. It's a jungle chicken, so
maybe we should change ours to a seagulls, I mean
chicken sparrow. It's bin chicken.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Fantails not in your house, yes anyway, farming worker, farming kewy.
Speaker 3 (20:09):
That's my idea. Keep them alive.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
Shep aren't going out of style anytime. So just before
we go to an air break, snack changing sports scholarship lane,
we're binge watching. Sport is a sport. We've got a
few more of these to give away yet. If you
want to enter that DROI Conitects chip to three two
three six, follow the link and you could be in
to win the Ultimate acc Price pack. All right, we
need to take a break because when we come back,
we have a dozen yours please voicemails to get through.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
Yours please, brought you by Leader Home of the LA.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
Just couldn't bring myself to leave you any of these
out today, so we're going to get through all of them.
Speaker 3 (20:46):
First call here yours please, Yeah, you get over their
team heye.
Speaker 6 (20:52):
Just a quick call regarding South Canbury. I've actually just
picked up the signing.
Speaker 5 (20:57):
Of Chiefs Legion Tim Mumba picker Elliott, so I feel
like there could be a call to Hecker about all
these South.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
Comments to see if anyone wants to go to his
face anyway.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
Cheers, Yeah, so he Yeah, he's a retired professional athlete. Now,
Hecky Elliott. He's moved down to the McKinsey country and
he's playing for McKinsey down there in the local camp.
He's just been picked for the South Canary squad. Obviously
pretty handy rugby union footballer.
Speaker 7 (21:29):
I like that.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
So all the people that are saying fuck South Canterbury,
WHI should direct them to heck Elliott? And would you
say it to his face? And evidently people have been too,
because there were there.
Speaker 6 (21:40):
Was like a.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
Like an investigation or like an official complaint laid because
people were sledging him from the sideline and there's like
unnecessary rouffage on him as well, which is very South
caentrary to be like oh you played for the or Blacks,
did you? Or let's ever go there, you know, And that's.
Speaker 3 (21:55):
The size of him, I know. But this is why
I I would if I I was.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
An ex professional athlete, I just would not go back
and play that sport again because everybody's going to be
out there like wanting to take your head off. If
you're a cricketer, they're going to want to bowl your
bouncy out or whatever like Kyle Mills did.
Speaker 3 (22:12):
Yeah to Brian. But I can see in rugby it's
a bit different cricket. I can see why there's no
wine because you get as you get older, but slower
reactions go. And rugby you're still a big steak and
you can still cause some damage. So if someone's giving
you stick, I'd say to Hecker Alli, you mate, run
it straight. Yeah, run it straight, mate, It's not running
(22:34):
your mouth off, and run it straight and watch Hecker
Elliott send them into the sub canopy.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
And he's going to be doing it all season long.
For South Canterbury, can.
Speaker 3 (22:43):
We do something down there? We need to go down
to South kener Can we go to a South Canterbury
North Otago game.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
Yeah, I'd love to just do that.
Speaker 3 (22:49):
I shout the bar.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
The only problem is I feel like most people down
there aren't aware of this, and they won't even better.
They won't be until I show up and we run
this whole promo around Fox South canterber And he was
but why is he back here?
Speaker 3 (23:06):
First of all, at all.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
And secondly, why has.
Speaker 3 (23:09):
He brought all these people saying we need to unfox
South Kenbury.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
They campaign to unfox South Canibrey.
Speaker 3 (23:20):
You're getting paid from South Kenby.
Speaker 8 (23:24):
That broke.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
They can't even send the team up to play for
the shield. H A, I'm launching an unfox South Canibury.
That that needs to be the new sign off for
every voicemail. Unfox South Cannlebury. He to gun fox South
Canbery right another leave another to get through. Let's keep
guarding yours place.
Speaker 8 (23:40):
Yeah, get a flowers. Just following up on the nice
sports at school, what you came up with and being
to etctera, did you guys either have a caretaker or
male teacher that would come down and play what the
kids play sports? Or the kids at lunchtime where one
of each and they used to out of each other
(24:03):
playing cricket And I think it was all because they
were after the same female teacher.
Speaker 3 (24:09):
Oh interesting, Drummond. So a little bit of peacocking going on. Yeah,
the groundsmen come in and peacocking in front of the
staff room. Perhaps we did have a teacher who was
like quite a handy basketball player.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
Was the only male teacher that we had and we'd
play rugby with a ball like a soccer ball, and
he would come play at lunchtime as well. But the
thing was he would have to dribble the ball while
we were playing, so everyone else was just like tackle rugby.
But then if the teacher got the ball, he had
to dribble it to give him some sort of handicap.
Otherwise it was too easy. We did have shout out
to mister Matheson. He was our groundskeeper when I was
(24:43):
at primary school. One day we were playing tennis and
a kid was sitting up on the umpire's chair thing
just kept hitting balls at me while I was trying
to play. I was like, fucking Simon, grind, turn around,
slam the ball at and well Simon comes down off that.
They starts chasing me with his racket. So we're doing laps.
There's two tennis courts and we're just doing lapse of
the two tennis courts and I'm running past Missus Firth
(25:03):
is standing on the sideline and I was like, oh amaze.
She's like I can't you know all the teachers are female.
They couldn't stop him, and I kept doing laps and
then I came back past again. She goes, We've gone
to get mister Matheson. He's on his way. Just keep
running gun till he hits here. It's so I'm doing
laps of the fence. Simon's just in a fit of rage,
trying to kill me with this tennis racket because I've
(25:24):
branded him with the tennis ball and had to wait
for mister Mathison to come from the other side of
the field.
Speaker 3 (25:30):
It sounds like mister Mathison might have been quite busy
busy man.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
You know, it's like a rural school, so these massive,
sprawling grounds's way down the back.
Speaker 3 (25:39):
We had to get a caretaker called Malcolm. Malcolm was
so deaf he used to talk like Lance Ken's and
it was impossible to talk to him about actual death. Yeah,
it was impossible to talk to him about what condition
we wanted our pitchon for the cricket because he was
also the groundsman, so it was very hard to communicate
a lot of sign land which but he was a
(26:00):
great man, Malcolm RP. I don't think he's around anymore.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
I allowed he allowed Jeremy Wells.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
The keys to the groundsman shared and Wells would be
stoned high as a kite at high school and get
hold of the roller and he would roll the pitch
all night as the most Jeremy ship before a into
school game. He rolled it. He couldn't sleep, He rolled
it all night and he just turned it into an
absolute dust bowl in which victory came out and turned
(26:30):
it square.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
Jeez, we needed to get Jerry out on the on
the roller before black Apps games.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
Yeah, totally all night zz So what do you do?
What do you way up all night rolling? It's God
bless him? Malcolm, was it? Yeah? Malcolm? That was going
to be my name was.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Yeah, they were going to call me Malcolm, Big mal
I don't know how my life would have been different,
but guarantee it would have another call here your Spurs.
Speaker 6 (26:57):
Get a team Andrew from Napes here just kid up
on some old podcasts and just came across the one
following the second Test against England and Auckland when you
regaled us with a story via Piney of Gabriel who
couldn't set up his box. Can I employ all the
acc youngsters who get invited to set up their grandparents
(27:17):
box to go and set it up, stick it online,
leave it there, don't tell them the code, make him
sit through it. Cheers.
Speaker 3 (27:24):
Yeah, poor Gabriel, what a legend he was.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
I've known so many times. If that was a setup
by us.
Speaker 3 (27:30):
No, because he did sound it did sound like an
AI old man. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
And also all the things he was complaining about, like
all the things that Boomer's traditionally complained about about us.
Speaker 3 (27:41):
Yeah, but no, it wasn't set up.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
And yeah, absolutely if you are called around to your
parents your grandparents place, to set up the skybox for
them or even show them how the app works, check
it on ours and don't tell them how to change it.
Speaker 3 (27:53):
Now the call it yours pace.
Speaker 9 (27:54):
Yeah, good a fellas love the Matt and Jerry Show.
Oh fuck, those are my notes for the next voicemail. Shit,
that's embarrassing anyway, I reckon the best way to describe
the difference between League and Union to Americans as like
softball and baseball the same but different.
Speaker 3 (28:10):
Anyway.
Speaker 9 (28:10):
Fuck Taranaki dot dot dot ah.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
Did you listen to the podcast yesterday We're talking to
about around what's considered past egg in a text or
things situation. I've only just found out that I use
the thumbs up at the end of my like I'll
write something like yep, sweet, I'll do that, and I
put a thumbs up, because otherwise I come across quite Kurt.
Apparently that comes across across as quite past egg. And
(28:33):
also the dot dot dot, And he's pointed out, you
use the dot dot dot quite a bit.
Speaker 3 (28:38):
I do Do you mean it?
Speaker 1 (28:39):
Do you intend it to be passive? Aggressive?
Speaker 6 (28:41):
No?
Speaker 3 (28:41):
Not really. I leave the conversation open for you to reply, yeah, right, Manaia,
why aren't you at work?
Speaker 10 (28:47):
This is this is what I was.
Speaker 3 (28:50):
And then you go it's open invitation. I please respond,
and you go, ah, I share my pants. Sorry, and
I'll be like, thumbs up. Cool.
Speaker 1 (28:58):
And then I take the thumbs up as a sign aggression,
not because we're saying like some people do, take it
as the dot dot dot is like a pass egg thing.
But you're seend a message and just be like, hey,
great work this week, dot dot dot, have a great weekend,
dot dot dot. It's like, not meant past egg at all.
But then you sit in this like the fuck did
he mean they have a great week?
Speaker 3 (29:16):
What is it? I'll tell you. I'll tell you what.
I'll tell you what really fucks with boomers and that
is how they read text messages. They lose their mind.
My my mum. If I send just years back, it goes,
will you be homestaffed? And yes, I'm sorry, I won't
come again, and I'm like, no, I just said yes,
goes well yeah, but what you said it well, I
always say sorry, hey, how are you? I'm good, thanks, hope,
(29:39):
everything's good. Yeah, we're around the softernoon'll be great to see.
That's what they expect back, yeah, but then not just
a call something. So just this tension just keeps going
backwards and forwards. It's like, I think it's just a yes.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
I think as the people, just everyone that speaks English
needs to figure out like a universal what like is
there that this is the pass egg emoji, this the
sarcasm emoji, you know, and we all just need to
agree on the thing because you know your mum's when
you say yes and she goes, oh, that's past. So
you might go yes and then put her thumbs up.
She likes that, then you send that to someone else
(30:12):
fucking thumbs up all about or.
Speaker 3 (30:13):
Yes dot dot dot yeah exactly, says yeah, I guess,
yeah exactly, that's how Yeah. Maybe haven't even got to
go through nine. Yeah, all right, keep going you please.
Speaker 5 (30:26):
Good a petition for g Lane not to go to
Vegas or become a resident of.
Speaker 6 (30:32):
Vegas for a month or so.
Speaker 5 (30:36):
Go, get a citizenship, get married, meet Elvis, meet fucking Trump, Biden,
do whatever you've got to do. Overnight bride, overnight citizenship,
don't go to Vegas, don't let Keesy commentate, go worries.
Speaker 3 (30:52):
Yeah, so yeah, convent the curse. Yeah, but I mean
it's quite hard. I mean, look, I'd love to get
a green cat. It's not that easy. You don't just
go to Vegas and and Mary Elvis's assistant. You got
to get a green cat involved, Yeah, something like I'd
love to If you can get me a green cat,
I'm into it. Otherwise see in Vegas.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
All right, another call.
Speaker 3 (31:10):
Here, yours please.
Speaker 4 (31:12):
Gooday voice. Just on the topic of the Olympics. Chat
sort of having to think, well, what we could do
to really push the sport forward. You know, I was
kind of thinking maybe a bit of a mash up
between the summer and Winter Olympics. We can go for
a long jump with ski boots on. That would be
a good laugh, very entertaining. Or we could go for
(31:35):
the snowboarding pole bowl. Some great ideas and terrible accidents.
Speaker 3 (31:39):
I'm sure, what do you think? Yeah, I love this.
Speaker 1 (31:43):
The thing that springs to mind immediately for me is
long jump luge yep. So you come flying down the
lose and just get shot out the end of it
and just how far can you go and then you'll
land in the sampit ice hockey rugby Oh yeah, I
mean ice hockey basically rug but yeah, yeah, that'd be
quite good.
Speaker 3 (32:00):
Anything on scale. Something to do with gymnastics and someone
to sports gymnastics on ice, yeah, yeah, yeah, I like
the pole volt. Anything to do with that javelin in downhill? Yeah,
so you yeah, once you hit the hit the finish line,
you've got to biff the chaplain. So you've got to
do the whole downhill with holding a javelin up above
(32:22):
your head. And then as you hit the line you
go through, you just stop and if you go over
the line then it's a default. All live animals come
running across and just hit the javelins. At Cariboo new javelins,
just pull out of your bed and just yeah, well,
like you know.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
Conversely, you could take the ski shooting what do they
call it the jewethlne where you like ski along then
you got to stop and shoot.
Speaker 3 (32:40):
What if you're just like running through a Safari.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
Park in South Africa with your gun, you know, and
you're just gonna you're running across, You're gonna stop and.
Speaker 3 (32:47):
Every now and then a small child goes and you
can't shoot that one like like on the kind of training. Yeah. Yeah,
so if you shoot that when you're just qualified, not
real kids obviously, no pictures of pop ups.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
Yeah, love that. Love the snowboarding polvo. Another one here
at your sports good.
Speaker 3 (33:05):
I made you just saw the d Olympics.
Speaker 11 (33:08):
I wonder if they could use that spray on shoe
technique for your your downstairs operation might be required if
you're a male roller, because I'm your best dangling round
one of those boats I did.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
Yeah, so we're talking about should we go back to
the original Olympics and do the more nude But I
guess what I did in factor in is that they
didn't have boats with moving seats back in the original Olympics.
Speaker 3 (33:32):
Or cycling cycling.
Speaker 1 (33:33):
Yeah, they certainly didn't have Winter Olympics, so you know,
you couldn't do the bob slid stark naked.
Speaker 3 (33:41):
But yeah, I don't. I don't.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
Maybe it is completely nerd except for the spray on.
Have you seen those sprown shoes. We were talking about
them yesterday, sprown shoes now spraying downstairs loin cloth.
Speaker 3 (33:50):
Yeah, to help you get down the louge. I like it.
Speaker 1 (33:53):
Another call it your spurts, good air lads.
Speaker 11 (33:56):
I've always had the idea of combining Olympic sports so
you're running at the same time. So for example, you
could have the two hundred meter run and the javelin
going all at the same time, and the javelin guys
are trying to now the runners combined teams one points
that way. Or you could just put the hammer throw
cord next to the hockey turf, or put the triathlon
(34:19):
in the same area as the rowing.
Speaker 3 (34:21):
It could be a good bit of fun. Ah. I
quite like that. I quite like that. You could put
the hammer throw like in the sailing, so it's like
basically sending cannon balls out into the ocean to fire
off the side of the laser. So basically the hammer
throwers are on shore and then they're like the forty
(34:42):
nine at Sales are sailing off shore and they're basically
hiffing hiffing steel balls out into the harbor. I like that.
Speaker 1 (34:49):
I love the triathlon at the same time as the
rowing as well. Like, oh you're worried about the pools
and the seine, what about getting cleaned up by the men's.
Speaker 3 (34:56):
Eight foiling foiling with getting the boilers. Just I'm a
big fan of this. I'm always a big fan of
the super event as well. Just put it all together
and and want and just see what happened the hell.
So yeah, yeah, I mean the marathon at the same
time as the cycling as well.
Speaker 1 (35:14):
So there's a couple of good videos out there of
dudes getting skewed by pole voltze Evelyn.
Speaker 3 (35:20):
It's ugly. Oh yeah, it's usually, but it's usually Marshalls. Yes,
some old dude with a clipboard who.
Speaker 1 (35:26):
Just gets pegged from behind and he's like or maybe
to speed the whole thing up, like you could run
the one hundred meters heats from opposite ends.
Speaker 3 (35:35):
That's great, see how they.
Speaker 1 (35:38):
Go, brilliant idea. Thank you very much for the call.
Another one here yours please.
Speaker 3 (35:43):
I'll get it.
Speaker 7 (35:44):
Get off your cousin and iron g lane joke here
from the only station with Kenny. Here's the thing. Every
time to Mudie Martin goes pig hunting, the Warriors win
Major ground, Him and his horse and his dogs would
bet the Panthers, Dolphins, him and Jaars, the Cowboys, Him
and Dylan Walker. And when we beat the Broncos, him,
Dylan Walker and Jess Tovanger went pegannning.
Speaker 3 (36:08):
This is proven.
Speaker 7 (36:09):
Let the man go pegannning. Mid week we win fuck
South Canbury.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
Thanks Jack. I think he was the original Fox South Canbary.
Speaker 3 (36:16):
Yeah, I think he was. I like it. I think
you know.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
There's a photo that came out of him and Jesse
Sevanger and he's on a horse to Mighty Martiner's Jesseevunger's
pulling a peg out of the bush. Probably the first
warning sign that he wasn't in rehab. And I just
thought when I saw that photo, to Mighty Martin is
the man that every New Zealand bloke thinks he is.
You know, we all think we'll think that has these rugged. Yeah,
I love the city.
Speaker 3 (36:40):
Now look and kill pegs. That was his week.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
He went out and killed a peg with his hands,
and then on the weekend he played half back for
the Warriors. Like if it was a movie, you'd be like,
oh bullshit, I love it. Send him out, Send him
out into the bush, Send himighty out in the bush.
Speaker 3 (36:54):
Today. I don't even see them to the bush. Just
sen him for some farm to kill a pegi to him.
Yeah we can't. Yes, some bring a pick to Mount
Smart and just didn't kill it. Sacrifice. Yeah, someone please
halfway just.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
Before the game. That's brilliant. Another caller on the line here,
yours please?
Speaker 10 (37:12):
Hey, fellas on naked Olympics doing the Olympics naked crowd
have to be naked too, anyway? Fuck something?
Speaker 3 (37:26):
No, the crowd doesn't need to be nude. I think
that's the step too fast.
Speaker 1 (37:28):
No, I think we I think. Do you remember when
the NBA brought in the T shirt jerseys. They played
a season where they had T shirts instead of singlets,
so they had like an alternate strip and it was
a T shirt. And the issue was is because fans
are showing up to games and singlets and no one
wants to sit next to a big, sweaty dude and
a single for like two hours. So add on top
of that, he's also got no pants on. You know,
(37:50):
I don't think we want that. It's only for the athletes.
Another caller here.
Speaker 12 (37:54):
My first time call, a long time listener. Just think
about the alternative Olympic sports. I mean, I know you
guys have talked about the All Star weekend a lot,
But last day of the Olympics, every character he puts
forward some athletes for bull rush. I think it'd be
bloody good. You've got seven players, of course, been you
at your track guys. You got field people who've got
(38:15):
to throw some turn around. You got the swimmers. They're
just slippery. I guess could be a girl.
Speaker 4 (38:22):
I like that.
Speaker 6 (38:23):
I like that.
Speaker 3 (38:23):
It's like the ultimate ultimate fighter at the end, or
the ultimate athlete at the end. Only issue is, once
your event's over, you're on a tear. You know what
I mean. If you're events over in the first couple
of days, you are on a tear in the village,
you're on a tear in Paris. The last thing you
want to do is dragged carcass out in the last
day and play a game of ball rush against Lebron James.
Speaker 1 (38:42):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, You've just spent four years. Thank you
about getting to this point. And that's another great point
is like, what if you're just a gymnast. You know,
you've spin around on the pommel horse thing and now
all of a sudden David Liddy's running at you and
you're gonna try and figure that out.
Speaker 3 (38:56):
It's a massive discrepancy, but you know, for the nolday
to be, it'll be true if it was an arm
wrestling or something. Maybe it's something there's some other sports
or or maybe a great level at it's beer pong,
darts and paul. Maybe it's like something a bit more
kind of a boat race. Yeah, yeah, actually that's it.
A boat race, an Olympic boat right, Olympic boat race.
(39:17):
They're at the closing ceremony. Each country nominates ten athletes,
five women, five men, and they we have an Olympic
boat race. Yep.
Speaker 1 (39:27):
I'm all on board with that. So some god, they
would be so smashed after that. It'd be so good,
the fittest human beings on on the planet, crushing purse.
One last call here, call it yours please.
Speaker 12 (39:39):
And my first time call a long time listener. Just
think about the sports. I mean, then you guys have
talked about the.
Speaker 1 (39:47):
This is the same guy, all right, then we'll bin
him we'll get another one.
Speaker 3 (39:52):
That's it great.
Speaker 1 (39:53):
Thank god we got through it. Thank you very much
for sending them all. I wanted to make sure that
I played them all. And thank you very much for
joining us on a Wednesday edition the Gender Podcast. We
will be back tomorrow for a throwback Thursday, and we'll
see you then.
Speaker 2 (40:06):
You've been listening to the ACC's Agender Podcast, brought to
you by Export Ultra. For more episodes, like and follow
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