October 6, 2025 • 11 mins
For today’s Mental Health Awareness Week interview, we catch up with Federated Farmers’ North Canterbury president to learn more about how a major injury affected her wellbeing and her marriage. She shares how she fought her way back to physical and mental wellness.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Looking out for our farmers on the country.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
With Federated Farmers proud supporters of Mental Health Awareness Week
right here on the country, we continue our look at
a very very important top and a huge week. It
is Mental Health Awareness Week and our guests today.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Becks Green North, Canterbury Fed's President A Bex.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
How are you good things? Samish?
Speaker 2 (00:26):
A you Yeah, no, I'm fighting, fighting fit. But that
wasn't the case for you after a certain game of netball,
was it a.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Little while back? Which is sort of the I guess
the underlying theme to.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
This chat that we're about to have, because what was
that three or four years ago?
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Yeah, about four years ago. I was playing netball and
had played netmare my whole license. I think I was
about five, and you know, I always loved it, played
throughout having children and in between children and things like that,
and yeah, playing a really great game, I thought, and
lo and behold, I just sort of my knee gave
out and turned out I'd ruptured my ACL. So my
(01:06):
first major injury from playing netball, I guess.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
And something Okay, you'd never experienced a major injury before,
and you were heading into a very busy time on
farming right before carving, and yeah, pretty yeah, so take
us through the next stages of this.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
Yeah, look, my husband obviously wasn't very happy about the
injury timing happening just before carving, so yeah, I didn't
really have much of a choice but to get through
carving with a knee brace. Hobbled myself around all the
farm and on the uneven ground, and wore some better
boots to try and help. And yeah, it was a
(01:46):
really tough time to be honest, I struggled a lot.
I couldn't exercise, hadn't been so active my whole life,
and struggled to really do anything. And obviously, the following summer,
my husband decided to do the longest day coast to coast,
and I really really struggled watching him go off and exercise,
(02:08):
and I was stuck at home looking after kids and
not been able to do much with my knee.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
So while the knee was healing, the top two inches
was sort of clouding over.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Things were getting a bit grayer.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
Oh well, And truly it was having been so ecci
of my whole life, I've always hyped and you know,
family adventures, family biking and biking on my own and
so watching your husband leave and go and do that
and you're stuck at home. You can't even turn your
(02:41):
legs on the bike and you can't even manage a
walk out on the farm with the kids. Was really
really tough, and so my top two inches.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
Yeah, just really.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
We're in a dark place, and I head in the
bedroom and put my kids on devices, which was a
really crap thing to do over summer, but I just
couldn't bear doing anything. Basically, I was really unhappy and.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Was your knee worst because you had to do that
work at carving time?
Speaker 1 (03:10):
There was no plan B.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
Yeah, there was no plan B. I did have to
put in a lot of work to get my knee
strong enough surgery, which was really tough, a lot of
strength exercises and things like that. And I found it
really difficult coming back from the knee injury and having
carving on top of me. So it was a super
(03:34):
busy time of year. I couldn't manage much exercise, much
strength exercises, and I had to get within a certain
level to get the surgery, which happened. Didn't happen until
about seven eight months later.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Okay, your husband is training for the longest day is
he aware of what's going on or was he used
to you being super strong, super tough and not somebody.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
That he would expect to be the way you were feeling.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
Yeah, I think he was somewhat aware. Obviously he knew
he wasn't coming home to a happy wife, but I
don't think he had the capacity to really deal with
that because he was very focused. He was very driven.
You know, he had a set plan, you know, a
set goal in mind of how he wanted to achieve
(04:23):
the longest day for coast to coast, And so we
lived very different lives, I would say, And yes, I
think he thought that I'd cope, I'd manage, you know,
I've I'm a strong person at home, I do everything
for the kids, and you know, run the business behind
the scenes. And so I guess we were able to, yeah,
(04:47):
not really be on the same path over that summer,
and our marriage really struggled because of it.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
Yeah, And I think there are plenty of partners out
there who see the other partner in the relationship is
that the rock the strong ones, so they don't ask
and they perhaps don't take it on fully on board.
When did you at what point did you go to
I need some help or were was anybody checking in
on you? Did anybody notice outside away from your husband?
Was any of your friends saying, hey, what's up?
Speaker 1 (05:15):
You all good?
Speaker 2 (05:16):
No?
Speaker 3 (05:16):
And I think that's what I struggled with the most,
is that I didn't have anyone really asking me, you know,
how are you really doing? You know, some are ever
intends to do their own thing, you know, go away
on holidays, and with Blair training so much, we just
sort of stayed at home while he trained, and so yeah,
nobody was really checking in on me. And my family
(05:38):
live in Northland, both of our families actually live in Northland,
and so I didn't really have that support down, you know,
right in front of my face. And I think if
they had been right there, I probably would have broken
down in front of my mother, you know, we're best friends,
and I think I would have struggled being in front
of her. Yeah, But yeah, I just managed to get
(06:03):
through and put on a bit of a different mask
in front of the community. And nobody really knew what
was going on behind the scenes and what.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
About getting help, So you would probably knew that you
had to get some what was access to health support
in your rural area, like given your inn Chevat I think.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
At the time, Yeah, look, it was really hard. I
struggled to walk onto the GP because you know, the
receptionist at the time was a very good friend of mine,
and I felt super embarrassed to walk in there, to
be honest, to seek help, and I just didn't have
that courage. What I did do was reach out to
(06:40):
the Will to Live charity to seek some of their
funding to get a counselor, and I got that, but
the wait time for the counselor was eight weeks, and
at that point in time, when I was feeling that low,
I just didn't think I could wait eight weeks. It
was just out like it was too long and I
(07:02):
just couldn't bear it. So I just gave up. And
so the only way I dealt with it was just
struggling at home. And you know, out in the community,
nobody knew what I was like at home. They saw
a different bes out.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
There, incredibly brave becks. The reason we're having this conversation
is because you made it through and this is hopefully
going to and I know not hopefully, I know it
will help somebody.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
You then you really you kind of had to pick
up the pieces. So you started this.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
By getting your knee came right and you're able to
get into a bit of a bit of training.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
I struggled for about a good twelve to eighteen months,
to be honest, famish, and I didn't couldn't really see
a way forward. I picked up busy you know, rolls
and keep myself busy to sort of hide what was
going on. And it wasn't until my husband suggested me
doing coast to coast. I think I laughed in the face,
(07:57):
to be honest.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
I'm just laughing thinking about how you had reacted at
that much.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
Real Yeah, I know, I think, don't be silly like
that just seems so far fetched. But I thought, you know,
maybe er attempted a team event, and so I set
my sights on a three person two day team and
picked up cycling. The cycling seemed to be the least
impactful on my knee, and got myself a PT and
(08:25):
a multi sport coach b who is such an amazing
multi sport coach, and you've got cycle fit. And you
know my team, which had my husband is a kaiker
and another dairy farmer friend who ran we came away
with the three person two day team win, which if
(08:45):
my if somebody has said to me, you know, you're
going to go ahead and do coast to coast and
cycle all three legs of the coast and you know
for the West coast to the East coast, and then
your team's gonna win. I just I wouldn't have believed
it if you had said that to me.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
And now lo you know, yeah, wonderful, wonderful part of
the whole process. Two ways of looking at this.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
What's the best piece of advice you can give to
somebody who's going through what you went through. And for
those that are looking at from the other side, what's
something you can say?
Speaker 1 (09:14):
What would bes like to have heard?
Speaker 3 (09:18):
I would have liked to have heard somebody really asked me,
you know, how I'm doing at home, like really really
asked you know, how are you really doing? How are
you coping? I can see that you're taking on a
lot of roles, you know, are you coping with them?
And what can I do to help? I think if
somebody had asked me there, I would have broken down,
(09:40):
and I think they would have seen it. And I
honestly encouraged so many people to do that, because I don't.
I think we're a bit afraid to ask. We're afraid
of what we're going to get. We're afraid of people
breaking down in front of us and not knowing what
to do, what to help them. But if somebody had
just asked me that question and let me cry, or
let me just talk for hours on end about how
(10:02):
I was feeling, it would have helped. All I had
was my husband, And so my advice for anyone that
is struggling is to find one person that you can
talk to. You know, for some people that it's a
stranger because telling somebody close to them is difficult, and
trust me, it was super difficult. But if you can
(10:23):
find just one person to talk to, or even just
one person to cry to, then do it because it
will help, because you'll get some sort of support and
then you can make those small steps to recovery.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
I guess Bex, thank you so much for telling us
and sharing your story.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
And of course, no point in having the beautiful facade
of a building if it's a pile or rubble behind it, and.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
Look it's I'm still on that journey. I've still had
more injuries since then, and one another coast actually as well.
So the Jouney just seems to keep on going. But
I know I have the tools now to get through
all these tough times and get past all the injuries.
Looking out for our farmers on the country.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
With Federated Farmers proud supporters of Mental Health Awareness Week
right here on the country, we continue our look at
a very very important top and a huge week. It
is Mental Health Awareness Week and our guests today.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Becks Green North, Canterbury Fed's President A Bex.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
How are you good things? Samish?
Speaker 2 (00:26):
A you Yeah, no, I'm fighting, fighting fit. But that
wasn't the case for you after a certain game of netball,
was it a.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Little while back? Which is sort of the I guess
the underlying theme to.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
This chat that we're about to have, because what was
that three or four years ago?
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Yeah, about four years ago. I was playing netball and
had played netmare my whole license. I think I was
about five, and you know, I always loved it, played
throughout having children and in between children and things like that,
and yeah, playing a really great game, I thought, and
lo and behold, I just sort of my knee gave
out and turned out I'd ruptured my ACL. So my
(01:06):
first major injury from playing netball, I guess.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
And something Okay, you'd never experienced a major injury before,
and you were heading into a very busy time on
farming right before carving, and yeah, pretty yeah, so take
us through the next stages of this.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
Yeah, look, my husband obviously wasn't very happy about the
injury timing happening just before carving, so yeah, I didn't
really have much of a choice but to get through
carving with a knee brace. Hobbled myself around all the
farm and on the uneven ground, and wore some better
boots to try and help. And yeah, it was a
(01:46):
really tough time to be honest, I struggled a lot.
I couldn't exercise, hadn't been so active my whole life,
and struggled to really do anything. And obviously, the following summer,
my husband decided to do the longest day coast to coast,
and I really really struggled watching him go off and exercise,
(02:08):
and I was stuck at home looking after kids and
not been able to do much with my knee.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
So while the knee was healing, the top two inches
was sort of clouding over.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Things were getting a bit grayer.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
Oh well, And truly it was having been so ecci
of my whole life, I've always hyped and you know,
family adventures, family biking and biking on my own and
so watching your husband leave and go and do that
and you're stuck at home. You can't even turn your
(02:41):
legs on the bike and you can't even manage a
walk out on the farm with the kids. Was really
really tough, and so my top two inches.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
Yeah, just really.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
We're in a dark place, and I head in the
bedroom and put my kids on devices, which was a
really crap thing to do over summer, but I just
couldn't bear doing anything. Basically, I was really unhappy and.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Was your knee worst because you had to do that
work at carving time?
Speaker 1 (03:10):
There was no plan B.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
Yeah, there was no plan B. I did have to
put in a lot of work to get my knee
strong enough surgery, which was really tough, a lot of
strength exercises and things like that. And I found it
really difficult coming back from the knee injury and having
carving on top of me. So it was a super
(03:34):
busy time of year. I couldn't manage much exercise, much
strength exercises, and I had to get within a certain
level to get the surgery, which happened. Didn't happen until
about seven eight months later.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Okay, your husband is training for the longest day is
he aware of what's going on or was he used
to you being super strong, super tough and not somebody.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
That he would expect to be the way you were feeling.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
Yeah, I think he was somewhat aware. Obviously he knew
he wasn't coming home to a happy wife, but I
don't think he had the capacity to really deal with
that because he was very focused. He was very driven.
You know, he had a set plan, you know, a
set goal in mind of how he wanted to achieve
(04:23):
the longest day for coast to coast, And so we
lived very different lives, I would say, And yes, I
think he thought that I'd cope, I'd manage, you know,
I've I'm a strong person at home, I do everything
for the kids, and you know, run the business behind
the scenes. And so I guess we were able to, yeah,
(04:47):
not really be on the same path over that summer,
and our marriage really struggled because of it.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
Yeah, And I think there are plenty of partners out
there who see the other partner in the relationship is
that the rock the strong ones, so they don't ask
and they perhaps don't take it on fully on board.
When did you at what point did you go to
I need some help or were was anybody checking in
on you? Did anybody notice outside away from your husband?
Was any of your friends saying, hey, what's up?
Speaker 1 (05:15):
You all good?
Speaker 2 (05:16):
No?
Speaker 3 (05:16):
And I think that's what I struggled with the most,
is that I didn't have anyone really asking me, you know,
how are you really doing? You know, some are ever
intends to do their own thing, you know, go away
on holidays, and with Blair training so much, we just
sort of stayed at home while he trained, and so yeah,
nobody was really checking in on me. And my family
(05:38):
live in Northland, both of our families actually live in Northland,
and so I didn't really have that support down, you know,
right in front of my face. And I think if
they had been right there, I probably would have broken
down in front of my mother, you know, we're best friends,
and I think I would have struggled being in front
of her. Yeah, But yeah, I just managed to get
(06:03):
through and put on a bit of a different mask
in front of the community. And nobody really knew what
was going on behind the scenes and what.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
About getting help, So you would probably knew that you
had to get some what was access to health support
in your rural area, like given your inn Chevat I think.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
At the time, Yeah, look, it was really hard. I
struggled to walk onto the GP because you know, the
receptionist at the time was a very good friend of mine,
and I felt super embarrassed to walk in there, to
be honest, to seek help, and I just didn't have
that courage. What I did do was reach out to
(06:40):
the Will to Live charity to seek some of their
funding to get a counselor, and I got that, but
the wait time for the counselor was eight weeks, and
at that point in time, when I was feeling that low,
I just didn't think I could wait eight weeks. It
was just out like it was too long and I
(07:02):
just couldn't bear it. So I just gave up. And
so the only way I dealt with it was just
struggling at home. And you know, out in the community,
nobody knew what I was like at home. They saw
a different bes out.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
There, incredibly brave becks. The reason we're having this conversation
is because you made it through and this is hopefully
going to and I know not hopefully, I know it
will help somebody.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
You then you really you kind of had to pick
up the pieces. So you started this.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
By getting your knee came right and you're able to
get into a bit of a bit of training.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
I struggled for about a good twelve to eighteen months,
to be honest, famish, and I didn't couldn't really see
a way forward. I picked up busy you know, rolls
and keep myself busy to sort of hide what was
going on. And it wasn't until my husband suggested me
doing coast to coast. I think I laughed in the face,
(07:57):
to be honest.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
I'm just laughing thinking about how you had reacted at
that much.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
Real Yeah, I know, I think, don't be silly like
that just seems so far fetched. But I thought, you know,
maybe er attempted a team event, and so I set
my sights on a three person two day team and
picked up cycling. The cycling seemed to be the least
impactful on my knee, and got myself a PT and
(08:25):
a multi sport coach b who is such an amazing
multi sport coach, and you've got cycle fit. And you
know my team, which had my husband is a kaiker
and another dairy farmer friend who ran we came away
with the three person two day team win, which if
(08:45):
my if somebody has said to me, you know, you're
going to go ahead and do coast to coast and
cycle all three legs of the coast and you know
for the West coast to the East coast, and then
your team's gonna win. I just I wouldn't have believed
it if you had said that to me.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
And now lo you know, yeah, wonderful, wonderful part of
the whole process. Two ways of looking at this.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
What's the best piece of advice you can give to
somebody who's going through what you went through. And for
those that are looking at from the other side, what's
something you can say?
Speaker 1 (09:14):
What would bes like to have heard?
Speaker 3 (09:18):
I would have liked to have heard somebody really asked me,
you know, how I'm doing at home, like really really
asked you know, how are you really doing? How are
you coping? I can see that you're taking on a
lot of roles, you know, are you coping with them?
And what can I do to help? I think if
somebody had asked me there, I would have broken down,
(09:40):
and I think they would have seen it. And I
honestly encouraged so many people to do that, because I don't.
I think we're a bit afraid to ask. We're afraid
of what we're going to get. We're afraid of people
breaking down in front of us and not knowing what
to do, what to help them. But if somebody had
just asked me that question and let me cry, or
let me just talk for hours on end about how
(10:02):
I was feeling, it would have helped. All I had
was my husband, And so my advice for anyone that
is struggling is to find one person that you can
talk to. You know, for some people that it's a
stranger because telling somebody close to them is difficult, and
trust me, it was super difficult. But if you can
(10:23):
find just one person to talk to, or even just
one person to cry to, then do it because it
will help, because you'll get some sort of support and
then you can make those small steps to recovery.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
I guess Bex, thank you so much for telling us
and sharing your story.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
And of course, no point in having the beautiful facade
of a building if it's a pile or rubble behind it, and.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
Look it's I'm still on that journey. I've still had
more injuries since then, and one another coast actually as well.
So the Jouney just seems to keep on going. But
I know I have the tools now to get through
all these tough times and get past all the injuries.
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