October 8, 2025 • 10 mins
Today’s interview for Mental Health Awareness Week is with the woman behind the Fairlight Foundation, a Farmstrong champion, and the founder of Real Country. She’s also a busy mother of two and about to launch an online business. It’s hard to imagine that she once had no confidence. She shares how she overcame this to be the woman she is today.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Looking out for our farmers on the country with Federated
Farmers proud supporters of Mental Health Awareness Week, We're going
to go down to the deep deep South and Inland
a bit and a good friend of mine who doesn't
you know it doesn't call me as often as she
used to back in the day.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
But Laura Coot, Hello, how are you?
Speaker 3 (00:21):
Oh famous?
Speaker 4 (00:22):
I miss you to and I am so that we
get to have a click catch up today.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Yeah, and a fantastic Mental Health Awareness Week.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
And of course so just just for those.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Who are the initiated, we know you of course from
real Country across social media. You're a farmstrong champion fearl
Like Foundation. You keep yourself pretty busy.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
What's you know? You tell us about an average week
in the life of Laura Coot.
Speaker 4 (00:47):
Josh an average week, there is no such thing anymore.
In addition to yes being super proud of running the
Fearlight Foundation, we're in fifty year the yeare the interns
and graduate the doing while real Country we're going into
the busy season hosting farm shows for guests from around
the world, as well as continuing on with my confidence
(01:10):
building workshops teaching people farm skills to earn confidence and
their abilities.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
I'm also a mum.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
Hamish, don't forget that one and a half year old
three and a half year old now.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
And I'm also about to launch my.
Speaker 4 (01:23):
First online business, as everyone is these days. But the
Southern Girl Finishing School is going online, so it's going
to be a platform aimed at mothers with children to
help them both own confidence in their abilities. So there's
always a lot going on. But just this morning I
was picking up force per and rounding up sheep and
(01:45):
recording some videos and dropping kids off to Kindie. It's
just always busy in the day of a life, Laura.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
I tell you, there, go go go right okay, underpinning
everything that you just talked about there too, in particular
of the growing the confidence and this would ever have
been something that I would have imagined in one hundred years.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
But there was a.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Time where you didn't feel good about yourself and had
no confidence and was allowing others to make decisions for you,
and that obviously was something that you needed to change.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
It is really hard to imagine now.
Speaker 4 (02:20):
It's even hard to imagine myself now, but I had
no confidence unto I was as a person. I was
battling a pretty severe eating disorder. I was not living
a life that I was proud of, and because I
didn't have confidence in myself, I allowed everyone.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
Else to make decisions for me. So I was doing work.
Speaker 4 (02:39):
And performing really well professionally, and I was very competent professionally,
but I never sat myself down and went what is
it that I want? Who do I want to be,
and what is really important to me?
Speaker 3 (02:53):
So when I got to this place at.
Speaker 4 (02:56):
Twenty nine, I was really really struggling, and I hit
a bit of a rock bottom, like I think a
lot of people do. And so getting to that point,
I really had to take ownership of that myself. I
wasn't good at talking about it. I wasn't good at
opening up to people about it. And so for me,
the start was volunteering at a horse sanctuary in Auckland.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
That was the start of how I changed everything.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
So that was so you though, had to personally hit
rock bottom yourself. I mean you had to feel the
jarring effect of that before you could turn it around.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
Yeah, I did.
Speaker 4 (03:32):
And once I turned it around, volunteering at that horse sanctuary,
like can.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
You imagine, I was suited and booted.
Speaker 4 (03:39):
I was working in corporate living in Auckland, and that
was not who I was. And for me, going out
to the horse sanctuary and the smell of the horses
and working with horses and helping out and volunteering, I
got this little feel good and then that was what
opened it up for me to then draw a picture
one day of the type of life that I wanted
(04:01):
dog with the four wheel drive truck, four mountains my
life in five years, and then from there I changed
my whole life to chase down.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
What it is that I wanted.
Speaker 4 (04:12):
And the reason that I think this is all so important,
it's because I've learned from my own experience that until
you understand what you're really capable of, and until you
have confidence in yourself, low confidence in low self belief
often does go hand in hand with really poor mental
health as well.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Absolutely, I agree with you one hundred percent.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
There is every choice along the way, the recovery being
a good one, or is there do you have to
sort of you know, do you have to kiss a
few frogs and you.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Know to get it right?
Speaker 4 (04:46):
There is no linear path or progression at one steps forward, learning,
adjusting the plan as you go and being you know,
very forthright. It actually wasn't until I became a mother
that I actually I bought the professional help that I
really needed. I drengthened a lot of my fortitude by
(05:08):
doing things that I didn't think I was capable of,
like setting up my own business, like changing my whole
life and distewing and building something that I could be
really passionate about. And through that process I met myself.
I then met the love of my life, and you know,
then we got married and I was pregnant, and I
was still terrified because although I'd done all these incredible things,
(05:31):
I was still a people pleased at a high performer.
I would overwhelm myself regularly, and I was still battling
a pretty severe eating disorder. And it wasn't until my
daughter hit the ground and I went, I am not
going to be passing this on to her.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
I need to get some proper help.
Speaker 4 (05:49):
And you know, seeking the help for me it was
a hypnotherapist in Queenstown, and she helped me.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
See that a lot of the struggles.
Speaker 4 (05:58):
That I was having it wasn't about fixing the eating
disorder and the nail biting. It was about fixing the
internal subconscious traits that I had held with me since
being a really young person. And I just cannot say
what a weight off my shoulders it was to no
longer be living in you know, I still like to
(06:20):
please people, I still like to perform, but not to
the point where it's detrimental to my mental health.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
So it's been a journey.
Speaker 4 (06:27):
A really really long journey where it's only recently where
I can sort of say, yeah, I'm in a really
good place.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Wow, so here knowing you as I do and having
spent a bit of time with you over the years,
those sort of.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
The chinks in your armor.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
I wasn't I couldn't see I couldn't see the trees
for the forest. But now you say it, I actually
start to join a few dots. Did anybody ever say
anything to you? Or was it you that had to
primarily you with the source of your.
Speaker 4 (06:59):
RecA I had to be the source of my own
recovery because like a lot of people, I don't I
didn't like to talk about it.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
I didn't know how to talk about it. There was
so much shame around what I was doing.
Speaker 4 (07:15):
Like who wants to admit that they make themselves sick,
like that's discuss them and that's shameful. And I didn't
want to hurt my parents or my friends and family
around me because I worried about them thinking gosh, why
didn't we see this? Or I didn't want pity, and
so I didn't know how to talk about it.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
And I really had to dig deep and fix this
and thought this out myself.
Speaker 4 (07:38):
But had I not done that, I wouldn't be so
aware now of the fact that other people go through.
I think it's one in five year Zealand adults will
experience a mental health challenge, and that presents in so
many different ways. It doesn't all look like my journey.
But since I've been open opened up about my story,
(08:00):
people open up to me. And it is the people
that you least accept And so because of what I've
been through, a lot of my focus and everything that
I do is about how you can help others to
see the signs and other people and to have that
first conversation or what do you do to reach out.
Like a couple of weeks ago, I have some really
(08:21):
good friends who have just gone into dairy farming. It's
their first season and they had a really high number
of pas de depths and it's been terrible weather. And
you know, they did actually stay to me. Look, we
are struggling, but not everyone will do that, and so
I didn't.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
Know what to do.
Speaker 4 (08:40):
I don't know much about dairy farming. I can't really
be constructive. So what I did is I made them sado.
I drove over there, I turned up, gave a hand
in the carving pens, made some lunch, handed down over
a cup of tea, and left. And knowing that the
way to show up to someone who is struggling and
how to have those first conversations are so important, but
(09:02):
I wouldn't understand that had I not been through my
own stuff to start with.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Yeah, what you're saying.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
There was a lot like Alie Ludeman who was on
the show with us yesterday, who lost two young sons
and was talking about grief and that don't ask what
you can do, actually just do something.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
You know, it's like you did you cook, it's over
your wink, you know.
Speaker 4 (09:21):
And you know, people that are struggling, they don't want
to be a burden, they don't want your pety, they
don't know how to talk about it, and they a
lot of like for me, I didn't know what was
going to fix me or what would be right, and
you do you want to push people away because if
you're not feeling good, it's not easy to have someone
(09:41):
else in your space. And so it's about just understanding
how to show up and how to have those conversations.
And Catherine Wright was an incredible counselor focused on the
egg industry down here in Piano and she ran a
mental health first aid program in Moscone last year. My dad,
at seventy two years of age, went along to that
(10:03):
and he got so much out of it because he
grew up in the generation.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
Of you just don't talk about these things. You just
you know, you just get on.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
With it and you do the work and you sort
it out, and you know, being able to identify whether
it's your co worker, your employee, someone on your sports
then you make your family knowing how to support them
as just as important as recognizing the signs and yourself.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Absolutely, absolutely wonderful to chat Laura.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
Thank you so much for sharing your story and ke
about the great work down there of real Country Feel
Like foundation that is Laura Coat joining us here on
the Country Federated farmers bringing us mental health awareness.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
We
Looking out for our farmers on the country with Federated
Farmers proud supporters of Mental Health Awareness Week, We're going
to go down to the deep deep South and Inland
a bit and a good friend of mine who doesn't
you know it doesn't call me as often as she
used to back in the day.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
But Laura Coot, Hello, how are you?
Speaker 3 (00:21):
Oh famous?
Speaker 4 (00:22):
I miss you to and I am so that we
get to have a click catch up today.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Yeah, and a fantastic Mental Health Awareness Week.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
And of course so just just for those.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Who are the initiated, we know you of course from
real Country across social media. You're a farmstrong champion fearl
Like Foundation. You keep yourself pretty busy.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
What's you know? You tell us about an average week
in the life of Laura Coot.
Speaker 4 (00:47):
Josh an average week, there is no such thing anymore.
In addition to yes being super proud of running the
Fearlight Foundation, we're in fifty year the yeare the interns
and graduate the doing while real Country we're going into
the busy season hosting farm shows for guests from around
the world, as well as continuing on with my confidence
(01:10):
building workshops teaching people farm skills to earn confidence and
their abilities.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
I'm also a mum.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
Hamish, don't forget that one and a half year old
three and a half year old now.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
And I'm also about to launch my.
Speaker 4 (01:23):
First online business, as everyone is these days. But the
Southern Girl Finishing School is going online, so it's going
to be a platform aimed at mothers with children to
help them both own confidence in their abilities. So there's
always a lot going on. But just this morning I
was picking up force per and rounding up sheep and
(01:45):
recording some videos and dropping kids off to Kindie. It's
just always busy in the day of a life, Laura.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
I tell you, there, go go go right okay, underpinning
everything that you just talked about there too, in particular
of the growing the confidence and this would ever have
been something that I would have imagined in one hundred years.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
But there was a.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Time where you didn't feel good about yourself and had
no confidence and was allowing others to make decisions for you,
and that obviously was something that you needed to change.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
It is really hard to imagine now.
Speaker 4 (02:20):
It's even hard to imagine myself now, but I had
no confidence unto I was as a person. I was
battling a pretty severe eating disorder. I was not living
a life that I was proud of, and because I
didn't have confidence in myself, I allowed everyone.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
Else to make decisions for me. So I was doing work.
Speaker 4 (02:39):
And performing really well professionally, and I was very competent professionally,
but I never sat myself down and went what is
it that I want? Who do I want to be,
and what is really important to me?
Speaker 3 (02:53):
So when I got to this place at.
Speaker 4 (02:56):
Twenty nine, I was really really struggling, and I hit
a bit of a rock bottom, like I think a
lot of people do. And so getting to that point,
I really had to take ownership of that myself. I
wasn't good at talking about it. I wasn't good at
opening up to people about it. And so for me,
the start was volunteering at a horse sanctuary in Auckland.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
That was the start of how I changed everything.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
So that was so you though, had to personally hit
rock bottom yourself. I mean you had to feel the
jarring effect of that before you could turn it around.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
Yeah, I did.
Speaker 4 (03:32):
And once I turned it around, volunteering at that horse sanctuary,
like can.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
You imagine, I was suited and booted.
Speaker 4 (03:39):
I was working in corporate living in Auckland, and that
was not who I was. And for me, going out
to the horse sanctuary and the smell of the horses
and working with horses and helping out and volunteering, I
got this little feel good and then that was what
opened it up for me to then draw a picture
one day of the type of life that I wanted
(04:01):
dog with the four wheel drive truck, four mountains my
life in five years, and then from there I changed
my whole life to chase down.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
What it is that I wanted.
Speaker 4 (04:12):
And the reason that I think this is all so important,
it's because I've learned from my own experience that until
you understand what you're really capable of, and until you
have confidence in yourself, low confidence in low self belief
often does go hand in hand with really poor mental
health as well.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Absolutely, I agree with you one hundred percent.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
There is every choice along the way, the recovery being
a good one, or is there do you have to
sort of you know, do you have to kiss a
few frogs and you.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Know to get it right?
Speaker 4 (04:46):
There is no linear path or progression at one steps forward, learning,
adjusting the plan as you go and being you know,
very forthright. It actually wasn't until I became a mother
that I actually I bought the professional help that I
really needed. I drengthened a lot of my fortitude by
(05:08):
doing things that I didn't think I was capable of,
like setting up my own business, like changing my whole
life and distewing and building something that I could be
really passionate about. And through that process I met myself.
I then met the love of my life, and you know,
then we got married and I was pregnant, and I
was still terrified because although I'd done all these incredible things,
(05:31):
I was still a people pleased at a high performer.
I would overwhelm myself regularly, and I was still battling
a pretty severe eating disorder. And it wasn't until my
daughter hit the ground and I went, I am not
going to be passing this on to her.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
I need to get some proper help.
Speaker 4 (05:49):
And you know, seeking the help for me it was
a hypnotherapist in Queenstown, and she helped me.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
See that a lot of the struggles.
Speaker 4 (05:58):
That I was having it wasn't about fixing the eating
disorder and the nail biting. It was about fixing the
internal subconscious traits that I had held with me since
being a really young person. And I just cannot say
what a weight off my shoulders it was to no
longer be living in you know, I still like to
(06:20):
please people, I still like to perform, but not to
the point where it's detrimental to my mental health.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
So it's been a journey.
Speaker 4 (06:27):
A really really long journey where it's only recently where
I can sort of say, yeah, I'm in a really
good place.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Wow, so here knowing you as I do and having
spent a bit of time with you over the years,
those sort of.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
The chinks in your armor.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
I wasn't I couldn't see I couldn't see the trees
for the forest. But now you say it, I actually
start to join a few dots. Did anybody ever say
anything to you? Or was it you that had to
primarily you with the source of your.
Speaker 4 (06:59):
RecA I had to be the source of my own
recovery because like a lot of people, I don't I
didn't like to talk about it.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
I didn't know how to talk about it. There was
so much shame around what I was doing.
Speaker 4 (07:15):
Like who wants to admit that they make themselves sick,
like that's discuss them and that's shameful. And I didn't
want to hurt my parents or my friends and family
around me because I worried about them thinking gosh, why
didn't we see this? Or I didn't want pity, and
so I didn't know how to talk about it.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
And I really had to dig deep and fix this
and thought this out myself.
Speaker 4 (07:38):
But had I not done that, I wouldn't be so
aware now of the fact that other people go through.
I think it's one in five year Zealand adults will
experience a mental health challenge, and that presents in so
many different ways. It doesn't all look like my journey.
But since I've been open opened up about my story,
(08:00):
people open up to me. And it is the people
that you least accept And so because of what I've
been through, a lot of my focus and everything that
I do is about how you can help others to
see the signs and other people and to have that
first conversation or what do you do to reach out.
Like a couple of weeks ago, I have some really
(08:21):
good friends who have just gone into dairy farming. It's
their first season and they had a really high number
of pas de depths and it's been terrible weather. And
you know, they did actually stay to me. Look, we
are struggling, but not everyone will do that, and so
I didn't.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
Know what to do.
Speaker 4 (08:40):
I don't know much about dairy farming. I can't really
be constructive. So what I did is I made them sado.
I drove over there, I turned up, gave a hand
in the carving pens, made some lunch, handed down over
a cup of tea, and left. And knowing that the
way to show up to someone who is struggling and
how to have those first conversations are so important, but
(09:02):
I wouldn't understand that had I not been through my
own stuff to start with.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Yeah, what you're saying.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
There was a lot like Alie Ludeman who was on
the show with us yesterday, who lost two young sons
and was talking about grief and that don't ask what
you can do, actually just do something.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
You know, it's like you did you cook, it's over
your wink, you know.
Speaker 4 (09:21):
And you know, people that are struggling, they don't want
to be a burden, they don't want your pety, they
don't know how to talk about it, and they a
lot of like for me, I didn't know what was
going to fix me or what would be right, and
you do you want to push people away because if
you're not feeling good, it's not easy to have someone
(09:41):
else in your space. And so it's about just understanding
how to show up and how to have those conversations.
And Catherine Wright was an incredible counselor focused on the
egg industry down here in Piano and she ran a
mental health first aid program in Moscone last year. My dad,
at seventy two years of age, went along to that
(10:03):
and he got so much out of it because he
grew up in the generation.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
Of you just don't talk about these things. You just
you know, you just get on.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
With it and you do the work and you sort
it out, and you know, being able to identify whether
it's your co worker, your employee, someone on your sports
then you make your family knowing how to support them
as just as important as recognizing the signs and yourself.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Absolutely, absolutely wonderful to chat Laura.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
Thank you so much for sharing your story and ke
about the great work down there of real Country Feel
Like foundation that is Laura Coat joining us here on
the Country Federated farmers bringing us mental health awareness.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
We
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