Stage 2: Anger

After denial comes anger. Guled Mire became a spokesperson for his community after the mosque attacks, but when he showed anger at the death of innocents, he found the tide shifting.

Guled Mire is a firecracker by nature, driven by an unyielding sense of justice. It often gets him into trouble.

After the March 15 Christchurch attacks, he suddenly found himself a voice for his broken community, sifting through his own emotions and figuring out what he could say out loud, and what he couldn't.

Like many other young Muslims he felt angry at what had happened. Angry at the immeasurable loss of life. Angry that warnings from the community about rising levels of hate and Islamophobia had being ignored for years.

When he started to express this anger though, he quickly found himself facing intense public backlash.

"Most negative feedback I've received is when I've been the most angry, speaking my mind and saying how it is," says Mire, a community advocate.

"I think when people see me on TV or on the radio they don't really understand the balancing act that goes into it. I have to talk to myself again and again, in the shower or in the bathroom, going over my key messages. Making sure I don't fit into that angry black man stereotype."

After March 15, Mire wanted to speak about the racism he saw directed towards Muslims in New Zealand, and ask questions about whether the government had failed to protect his community. Initially he felt he was allowed to speak his mind freely in interviews and on social media, but within a few days he felt the tide shifting against him.

Suddenly, the comments sections, letters to editors and personal emails were calling him an "outsider", an "ungrateful refugee" who should be thankful for New Zealand having "given him a new home".

"It was like I wasn't even allowed to have a say as a Kiwi. I was being critical of my own country, but that wasn't afforded to me."

Then things began to spiral out of control.

When The Crusaders announced they were considering a name change because of the historical connotations of their brand, journalists began asking Mire what he thought. He gave his opinion, supporting a change, and thinking nothing of it.

But overnight, he found himself become a lighting rod for angry comments, hateful personal messages and eventually, death threats.

"There have been instances where I've had to report things to keep my own safety in check, people talking about 'this is just the beginning'." he says.

"You can't take your safety for granted especially after Christchurch."…

Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details