Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Big Show with Night and Day.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Good hell of a caffeine fix from your local Night
and Day.
Speaker 3 (00:07):
The whole Aching Big Show with j Mike and Kezy.
Tune in week days at four on Radio hod Ikey.
Speaker 4 (00:12):
We get sent a lot of stuff, a lot of
messages and things on Instagram, and sometimes we get sent
stuff physically in the mail. Yes, something arrived while we
were in christ Church that I think is very interesting.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Go on.
Speaker 4 (00:26):
It was sent by an anonymous person, which is always
a massive red flag. Sure, however, after opening it, and
I'm not sure if it's real or not, but this
person claims to be a member of your family, Jason.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Right, okay, but no names or anything like that.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Name here we go.
Speaker 4 (00:41):
So I immediately thought it was fake. But apparently it's your
diary from when you were a kid.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Right, did you have a diary?
Speaker 1 (00:48):
Yes, I did have a diary. I started with the
words very early on though. Yet oh yeah, I was
always a bit of a scriber, way back way back
in the day. You know, I used to like to
sort of right about what happened in the day. Yeah, yeah,
how I was going, and so sure, you know what
I mean. It's a bit later on in life. You
(01:11):
could look, man, I could look back and go, oh,
that's what I was doing at that time. But I've
lost them all. Sure you know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (01:16):
If this is real? And to be honest, I've read
a couple of them and it sounds pretty accurate. The
first inscription is from January nineteen eighty eight. How would
you have been then?
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Like seven, seven ninety eight?
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Yeah, seven seven years old?
Speaker 4 (01:33):
Are you comfortable for me to read out?
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Well, it means what it is.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Actually, it won't be his. What do you mean? Well,
one of the chances that somebody's seen in.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
I see and you too, Magie, and you as well.
Speaker 4 (01:49):
Right, So if you don't mind, I'll read it out
and you verify it then whether or not it's yours.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Or I'll know immediately if it's mine or not.
Speaker 4 (01:55):
Okay, actually bet you'll get wid I'm just going to
some just to really set the mood, because I think
you'll find it matches quite nicely. January eighteenth, nineteen eighty eight.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Seven seven okay, dearest.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Diary, Wow quite close?
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Now that sounds right.
Speaker 4 (02:18):
Lo tis cold this morning, the world sits weary on
my chest, and neath such burden my spirit's lag, whilst the.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Owl was a melancholy kid. Yes, that's sounding quite accurate
at the moment, right, yeah, whilst the owl with its
great plumage to wit to wooz that the day has
to begun. Oh there was always an owl outside my
window too, Maggie that would never shut up. That's where
(02:48):
I can think I get my fear of it from, right.
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (02:51):
This part definitely sounds like you Myrtle with heavy buzzy
is ready's the stove?
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Who's Myrtle? She was?
Speaker 1 (02:59):
She was like home, help help, Yeah, yeah, right, while
I was sort of fringing nobility, you know what I mean. Yeah,
she was lovely Myrtle. She was kind of like my
kind of like my mum. Really. She looked after me
and to me and treat me if you like. I
(03:20):
don't know if I would have said buzzies, but I can.
Speaker 4 (03:22):
This is what it says here. Myrtle with heavy buzzies
rides the stove.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Yeah. I don't know why that's relevant.
Speaker 4 (03:29):
Well, that's because you could just.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
Go merdle a stove. I don't know why you have
to mention.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
It feels like a bit of an implant.
Speaker 4 (03:37):
There an implant.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
Yeah, you're feeling that. It feels like a little bit
of editorial.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
I'm not.
Speaker 4 (03:47):
I swear, I'm not her.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
I wasn't a felthy kid bogie, I.
Speaker 4 (03:51):
Know, glassy stuff.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Yeah, you're seven.
Speaker 4 (03:55):
Her clanging and endeavor roused me from my torpor. List
of the day parts me by the stables to be
mucked and fields to be hold, whilst the sun releases
its golden arc overhead. Let us begin, Yeah right, just
put the V in. Let us begin. Then weary travelers
(04:16):
lay down, They quill and half mongrel and rise. Jason
Charles Mortem, Theodore Hoyt Esquire.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Oh wow, yeah, yeah, that actually sounds quite active, right, yeah, yeah,
So do you reckon that is your diary?
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Well?
Speaker 1 (04:26):
I definitely used to get half mongols, especially right especially
when Myrtle was clattering around in the kitchen there and she.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
The heavy buzzies.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
Right, so drinking this says your diary.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
Yeah, it does sound very familiar action.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
It's something that a lot of radio shows do, you know,
you read out your childhood diary. But I think we
could really do something with this, you know what I mean,
We could turn it into something more and more it's
just the first page. There's a lot more about murder
than thee the whole act.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
Big shows with Jason Hoyt, Mike Minogue and Keezy Jace.
Speaker 4 (05:03):
Yes, Kezy, do you ever play sports with your way?
Speaker 1 (05:05):
No?
Speaker 4 (05:06):
Right? No sports once?
Speaker 1 (05:08):
No?
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (05:08):
She hates sport, all sport, yes, even watching sport. No,
she doesn't mind watching it, but she hates playing it.
Speaker 4 (05:14):
Okay. So the only thing you guys would compete in
is probably like scrabble you've been playing recently, yes, And
how does that usually turn out?
Speaker 1 (05:20):
Well, here's the thing. Like with regards to the scrabble keysy,
she's always talked about how good she is and all
her mates, you know, tell me about how good she
is at scrabble. Turns out I'm much better, and that
I tend to dominate. But what I realized very quickly
was this is kind of her thing, right, and me
playing the big guy and giving her an ass whooping
(05:42):
every time probably isn't a good thing for our relationship.
So I deliberately lose.
Speaker 4 (05:47):
Right, Okay. And then that extra thing you do of
being in a horror of the mood afterwards.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
That's just all Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (05:53):
You are a good act. Yeah, thank you man, thank
you not even coming in here in a bad mood, even.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Me like sleeping in the spare room. Yeah, you know
what I mean, throwing stuff around the place. It's just
a performance, just to sell the fact that she feels
like she's totally dominated.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
Right, Okay, so that's how you're playing it, so.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Seriously, Keys, I would give her an absolute hiding if
that was the reality. If I was playing scrabble properly,
there would be no competition. I'll just say that's just
between me and you though.
Speaker 4 (06:19):
Okay, yeah, you wouldn't want that to get out. Do
you use Latin words? But you do, oh occasionally. Yeah,
I've got a huge vocabulary. So one thing, like my
partner and I, we both like playing sports. She's a
very good knitballer. She's got a touch rugby and a
lot of other things. She's just naturally quite coordinated, which
is quite cool. Sure, So lately she's been playing a
lot of squash, So I'll play her at squash and
(06:41):
that's fine. We have a lot of fun. We then
played tennis on SETI and I realized there's there are
certain sports that you should and shouldn't play with your partner, right, sure,
So with tennis, it's a game where if you can't
hit the ball back over the net like your unco like,
not like your unco like. Let's just say you're used
to pla playing squash, so you haven't hit a tennis ball,
(07:01):
and it's quite different and less forgiving. You could get
quite frustrated because you can't even have a game. Sure, right,
and guess what in this situation, I couldn't even hit
the ball over the net.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Oh okay, okay, that's good. I thought you were going
somewhere else there.
Speaker 4 (07:15):
No, no, no, she was. She had hit it back
every time. And then because I used to play a
weaver at a tennis and I could hit it quite well,
and I thought I was still at that level, and
I just wasn't. I'm used to playing other sports. I
couldn't even hit it over the net. I was getting
furious with myself. And I never get angry. Jase, you'll
know that, Jace, Yeah, man, yeah, okay, good. So what
I had to do was I literally put my racket
(07:37):
up to my face and said, why are you getting angry?
This is just stupid. You're just playing tennis with your wife.
Why don't you have some fun.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
While you were saying just off off here before that,
that was the fourth racket that you put up to
your face because she had smashed the other three. I
was amazed you had four rackets. Yeah, okay, And I
really can't visualize Keesy smashing his tennis racket because he's
getting his ars handed to him in a tennis match.
Speaker 4 (08:00):
I thought you were going to make a joke about
the reason the tennis rackets broke is because I put
it up against my face and my nose went through.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
The stream as well.
Speaker 4 (08:07):
I was like ready for it, but you didn't do it.
And then I've basically put together a list of sports
that we can play together where I won't get mad.
In the end, we actually enjoyed ourselves. So tennis is
bad because if you can't hit it back, you can't
actually play the game. And also the ball can roll
all the way down to the end of the tennis courts.
You're in a horror of a mood. You have to
now walk all the way down and grab the tennis
ball come all the way back. That's bad. Squash is
(08:27):
good because you can play pretty much with yourself because
you've got walls all around you, the game will keep going.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Well, you were saying, the last time you played squash,
you did play with yourself.
Speaker 4 (08:37):
That was afterwards. That so squash is good. So if
you're to play one on one volleyball with your partner,
that's a bad idea because once again, the ball has
to go over and you have to be decent enough
to actually hit it over for the game to happen. However, badminton,
which you can do with that same net, is very
forgiving because you can hit the crap out of the
little shuttle cock and they can hit it, and you
can have a little game.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
Quite a lot of emphasis on the second part of that.
Speaker 4 (09:00):
You've got golf. Don't play a game of golf against
one another. Play ambrose as a couple against another couple.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
I overheard of ambrose in my life.
Speaker 4 (09:09):
So ambrose is basically where you both hit a ball
and wherever the best one lands, you picked the other
one up and you both hit from that spot, right, Okay,
So it's like ball, and so it's very forgiving. You
don't get bogged down.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
And how you were before that, you did that with
your wife and she could only hit it like ten meters?
Speaker 4 (09:26):
Did I say that?
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Yeah? Yeah, And so you actually gave up on playing
golf with you?
Speaker 4 (09:30):
Yeah, and then I played with myself afterwards. Yeah, yeah,
that's right, your thinks.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
The Whole Archy Big Show with Jason Hoyt, Mike Minogue
and Kisey.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
I bought myself a chocolate fudge brownie mogih on the
little vending chair across the way. Yeah, I did, And
because you triggered me with one of your things that
you were eating protein, your protein bar, and I'll tell
you what it's actually hitting the spot.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Do you like that?
Speaker 1 (09:54):
It's really nice, man, because buying things like that and
it's like I wanted I buy that. There's a waste
of time.
Speaker 4 (09:58):
Are we doing chocolate chat here?
Speaker 2 (10:00):
No?
Speaker 1 (10:00):
But listen, before that, we were talking about what were
your dorry haunts when you're at school? Where did you
used to go to hide and have a durry? What
are the people saying I'm three four eight three there
key see.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
Yeah, a lot of teas coming through, which is great.
Jace looks like the elderly and illegitimate child of Keith
Richards and Hoggle.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
Ah, so that's good.
Speaker 4 (10:19):
It's good stuff.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
Got to do with. I mean, what's that about?
Speaker 2 (10:23):
Yeah? What if we're going to read that out, we
might as well read this one. Keyzy looks like he
had from an egg laid by a big bird and
fertilized by a beaker from the Muppets?
Speaker 4 (10:32):
Is that funny?
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Is it?
Speaker 4 (10:34):
It's funny because it's actually written about Nogi and he
knows it as well, says here, Keysy looks like Sonny Burl.
That's crazy. He sent that through get A Fellers. In
primary school, I was caught making a parachute bomb out
of my uniform top one afternoon.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
I don't know that is I've never heard of a
parachute bomb.
Speaker 4 (10:51):
And also primary school cheapers apparently behind the manual training
center where they do woodwork, sewing and cooking at Plymoton School.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
Yeah what works off in a place where people would
go and do sort of crazy stuff?
Speaker 4 (11:03):
Yeah, mount like yeah crazy yeah, wacky mount roscal grammar
behind the flex bushes in the backfield. They've been ripped
out since then.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
Okay this one here? Can I read this one here?
Cuzy plummet and school behind the manual training seenter, woodwork,
sewing and cook cooking.
Speaker 4 (11:25):
I think I just read that one.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
It's a good one. I just wanted again.
Speaker 4 (11:28):
Is that we're doing underneath the floorboards of our boarding
house at King's College?
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Oh, Kings Boys?
Speaker 4 (11:35):
So they under the floorboard or is that where they
hide their smoke?
Speaker 2 (11:39):
They were under the under there.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Actually, that reminds me. I think we want smoked in
the roof. In hindsight, was probably quite a dangerous and.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Most of the smoking because I grew up in the
hotter funeral there's a lot of farms, et cetera, et cetera,
et cetera, cetera, et cetera, So we do a lot
of smoking sort of haystacks, sure, the fuel depots and that. Yeah, yeah,
just where people would never suspect you. You know, wasn't
that super dangerous?
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Yeah, there's nothing like being a hay shed and you
make love and then the dorry.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
That's true?
Speaker 4 (12:18):
Yeah, sorry, what's true is you actually made love? It
had a dorry?
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Yeah, it did look like fun.
Speaker 4 (12:28):
Yeah, a lot of ticks coming through on three for three?
What about this one? Used to smoke at boarding school sometimes,
even with Jerry from the Breakfast.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Sure, I remember Jerry used to be a wheezer.
Speaker 4 (12:38):
Yeah, definitely apparently in the hedges behind the boarding houses.
And we used to pass a lot, and that's from
Darren this one.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
He says we did it on the field.
Speaker 4 (12:48):
Yeah, smoking, someone who says I had an affear with
my music teacher, and then it's one.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (12:58):
They're just keeping that anonymou keep the good ticks coming
and everyone.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
And can I just can I just reiterate it not
at all, and it's not cool to smoke. I was
just curious where people used to do it at school.
I don't want to encourage people to do it. It can't
be very clear about that with a terrible habit.
Speaker 4 (13:14):
That's sort of where I come in, because you guys
are smoking the good old days, and I come in
and say, hey, guys, it's actually not cool to smoke again.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
I don't want to keep returning to your health isshues
when you're a kid, keysy, right, you forced me to
making comments like that.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
But I'm not.
Speaker 4 (13:28):
I'm making comments like that just to cover our asses
and to say, hey smoking.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
Hey whatdy jay? What about this one pack of tens
for three bucks? Then straight behind the dairy pecket of
tens were two dollars seventy five in my day.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Wow, yeah, I remember the packs of tens. They got
rid of those, didn't.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
They encourage smoking?
Speaker 4 (13:45):
You stop rustling around with that packet of brownie. You're
dying for this break stuff somewhere Brownie.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
And my point the whole Ikey Big Show week days
from four on Radio hod ike Big Pole.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
Well, here we go, very simple question today again, skater belts,
yes or now no? Now here's the thing, Mourgium. Oh, keezy,
there's been keen to have this as a big pole, right.
And he said to me, can I wear in my
skater belt? Because, as you know, I wear a skaterbolt.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
I'll be honest with you. It was news to me.
Oh right, okay, well until until the airport tobaccle right.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Yes, well I always wear skaterbolts. And I said to Keith,
is there a reason for that?
Speaker 2 (14:38):
Well?
Speaker 1 (14:38):
I just liked them, that's all right. I find them,
you know, just the.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Look at them. Can I ask the question what defines
a skater belt? Because we're going to need to know that.
Speaker 4 (14:46):
So first of all, I call them skater belts skating belt.
You got a skating belt on Planet eight variety probably
something like that. It's something that was massively in the
very early two thousands of fabric belt, usually of a
bright colored green, red blue, and it was usually holding
up baggy, sort of low cut jeans with silk boxes.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
And in my mind, would it be a Volcom belt?
Speaker 4 (15:09):
Volcom? Yeah, for a fancy guy, absolutely so. And the
revelation that Jace wear skaty belts for some reason, I was.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
Well, I said, because Kezy sacking you wear it, and
I said, well, I always wear it. And then I
said to Kezi, but I've got a feelingless is going
to deteriorate into a massive tests take.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
To be feared. Keyzy, I don't think it's going to
deteriorate to that. I think it's going to start ja.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
And Kezy came back to me Maggie and he said, no, no,
you misunderstand Jason. I went, Keyzy, let's not muck around.
It's going to turn into a pers stake and he went, yeah, yes,
it is going to turn into a pistake.
Speaker 4 (15:42):
Can I just clarify this is not going to turn
into a pisstaker, right, We're just here to discuss whether
or not people still wear skaty belts.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
Well, I do.
Speaker 4 (15:52):
You're a person, Yeah, you are.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
You don't have to be a skaty boy to wear
this belt.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
I just like it.
Speaker 4 (15:58):
Well, this is why it's interesting. Three the text do
you wear a skating belt?
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Yeah? Is there an age limit on skaty belt? And
that's not that there is and you can't wear it,
but you know, just fashion wise or you know, I
think some kind of fashion rules that say you should
give it up?
Speaker 1 (16:13):
Sure?
Speaker 4 (16:13):
Do you have a Valcro wallet?
Speaker 1 (16:15):
Also? Go on to our Instagram account and I have
a vote on that. No, Keezy, I did not have
a Valcro wallet.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Did you lose it?
Speaker 1 (16:22):
No, it's Kezy who loses as wallets.
Speaker 4 (16:25):
Yeah, it's true.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
Actually the whole ky big shirt were days from four
on Radio Hdarch interesting fellas.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
We were just having a little chat with old Pugs
and Studio B there and he's informed that someone got
in contact with him. Because I don't know if you've
noticed this, Mogi, but old Keezy what he's getting a
little bit carried away And I can just feel like
the honker chat's coming back in.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
It is coming back in. You're throwing some punches yourself.
Speaker 4 (16:50):
Yes, it's always like you started.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
I think I'm the only one that stopped.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
I'm appalled by Frankly because we know we drew a
line on.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
Well, I'll tell you what we should do, won't we
make it? Anybody makes a honker joke one hundred bucks?
Speaker 1 (17:04):
Hear that?
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Keysy, how does that sound? And I reckon, we run it.
We've got to pay it. We all agree that that's
what it's going to be. So it's going to be
a ripper.
Speaker 4 (17:11):
There's just got to be a terrible idea.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
Kezy doesn't like it, Jase, you and I agree on that, mate.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
Getting back to about what pugs were saying us. So
someone sent in from November twenty twenty.
Speaker 4 (17:26):
One Charlie Kenny by the way, July.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Kenny, which is almost the first ever hond Ker check.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
So he's going back, he's listening to the hits from
the start. Yes when.
Speaker 4 (17:37):
Yeah, it's not as good back then.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Um. And it's fascinating because we've all been sitting here
in the studio going who was the one that instigated
the honker chat? And my vibe and my very strong sense.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Is nobody's been asking who did it. I think we all.
Speaker 4 (17:55):
I actually disagree. I don't think it was you. I
think it'll be Jase. Oh really, because you've got a
sight on you to me and you.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
Pgs PAGs one hundred bucks.
Speaker 4 (18:04):
Mate, No, I'm saying you started it. That's not findable.
But it's interesting because this is the first time anyone's
nose size has been brought up, and two years later
it's almost torn the show apart.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
Yeah. Wow's brought us together?
Speaker 2 (18:16):
Yeah yeah, what do they call it? Bumper to bumper?
Speaker 4 (18:22):
None of us have heard this.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
He at bumper?
Speaker 4 (18:24):
You got there, j Jace hundred backs.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
I didn't agree to it, Jace.
Speaker 4 (18:30):
Okay, we measured. You've got the biggest nose, all right.
Everyone knows that it's like Mount Everest. Now what we're
going to do here is listen, we've never heard this
before and find out who started all of this. Here
is the old clip from twenty twenty one.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
How are you, by the way, You're well, you're pretty
good things.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
I'm just growing the sick moe and the sick mullet.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
Mind's taking a little longer than I would like.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
To be fair to you, though, I think it's probably
the length is probably the same as Chris as of mine. Yeah,
it's hard to see yours because it's in the shadow
of your nose.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
No, all me cool? That was that was actually the
thing too, to be fair. That shocked me the most
when we did the the mo was how massive my
nose was because we took some my wife took some
photos at home and my side profile was shocking to me. Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
Look and I'm saying about yours, but it's mine as well.
I've got a humongous beaker on me. I took yours
is next level.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
Though, that's a massive.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
But I took it selfie this morning just to check
on my old growth because I'm going to do it
every single day, you know, I just I can you
see how it's all gone there? And then you have
a geeze out and it's like, you know the photos
ninety three percent nose. Yeah, wow, Weirdly I remember saying that. Yeah,
so by.
Speaker 4 (19:52):
Started it all and then you agreed and went on
about how massive your honker is.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
Indeed, it's weird, isn't it, because I all felt quite recent.
But it's a couple of years old there? How about that?
Speaker 1 (20:03):
There you go away.
Speaker 4 (20:06):
That's two years old?
Speaker 1 (20:08):
And it was funny because I think, like I'd always
been aware of Keezy's knows, but it wasn't until we
had that discussion and he pointed her out. Oh god, yeah.
Speaker 4 (20:21):
Well, the difference is I have to point mine out, Jason,
where with yours you don't need to.
Speaker 3 (20:27):
The hold Aking Big Show with Jason, Mike, and Kezy
Tune in week days at four on Radio Holda Ki