All Episodes

December 24, 2025 11 mins

On today's poddy, Merry Christmas, ya mad bastards.

Follow The Big Show on Instagram

Subscribe to the podcast now on iHeartRadio, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Featuring Jason Hoyte, Mike Minogue, and Keyzie, "The Big Show" drive you home weekdays from 4pm on Radio Hauraki.

Providing a hilarious escape from reality for those ‘backbone’ New Zealanders with plenty of laughs and out-the-gate yarns.

Download the full podcast here:
iHeartRadio
Apple
Spotify

 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mark as Played
Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Ho ho hocky. Do we know why isn't this being
used ho ho hodki? You think would be a slam
dunk considering how much we love wordplaydeki and how much
we love Christmas. Yes, how would you spell it? H
a u h a U? I think so h h
o h show and then h a u.

Speaker 2 (00:26):
Yeah you know, yeah ho hodi.

Speaker 3 (00:29):
But it is our Christmas and we're not going to
try and pretend that it is Christmas Day?

Speaker 1 (00:34):
What did you do to that on Christmas Day? I
was going to catch up with you on Christmas.

Speaker 3 (00:37):
J Yeah, yeah, I don't know. Say it's three forty two
in the Mogi House.

Speaker 1 (00:46):
Yes, yeah, I'm absolutely off chop. So what you drop
back on Christmas Day? It's a bit of a family day.

Speaker 3 (00:53):
What time did you hit the pass?

Speaker 1 (00:56):
Look? What time I'll get up my daughter? Obviously it's
a big day for your kids. Yes, I just need
you remember this, Keezy, Right, when you have kids, Christmas
is no longer about you, okay, man.

Speaker 4 (01:08):
Right, Okay, to be honest, I'm ready for that. So
I'm ready to I love buying prisons for people.

Speaker 1 (01:13):
I'll tell you what. It's It's far better, isn't it
once you've got kids. Christmas Christmas is great when you're
a little kid because it's all about you and you're
a greedy piece of shit. Yes, but then when you
have kids, Oh they love it, Yeah, they do. God,
they love it. My loves it, and she loves being
with their family. So we'll be up at probably six am. Yes, breakfast,
big breakfast, and then you're probably into the mimosas I think,

(01:35):
straight away, bubbles, straight away. White Christmas. Yeah, it won't
be a white Christmas, sadly, but I'm going to be
down in Wellington at my cousin's house in Paddi Mata
I think is where he is, yes, and that's right
on the water, so it'll be out in the lovely
new house is got there. Yeah. I can't wait, man,
I mean I'm there already and I'm loving it. It's
a great day. Kezy man, what are you doing?

Speaker 3 (01:59):
And she and her Christmas jammys?

Speaker 1 (02:00):
Oh, yeah, she's got your saying she's got some shocking
laundrte Christmas jamy. He says, right, she's only a way Christmas. True.

Speaker 4 (02:10):
I washed her Christmas jummies the other day because it
got to like the fourth of December, she's with them.

Speaker 2 (02:15):
Freak hey, she but she's never home, so she had
She likes the rule. She likes it because she's like,
oh yeah, I get to wear my Christmas.

Speaker 1 (02:22):
Jummy And he's putting laying the rules down.

Speaker 4 (02:25):
It's not like I'm laying the rules down, you know
what I mean. It's not I just said, what if
these are, like you special Christmas planes, you can with
them on them.

Speaker 2 (02:33):
Gingerbread men, candy canes and little Christmas trees.

Speaker 3 (02:36):
So she walking the fourth of December, she walks into
the bedroom and she ses, I didn't say anything about
the bedroom, No, but she sees her Christmas jammy's folded
on the bed and she's late.

Speaker 1 (02:50):
And there's a note on them. Yes see his dear
wifey put these fucking things on. And it's like, yea,
so weird.

Speaker 2 (02:59):
No, what happened she was wearing?

Speaker 4 (03:01):
No, I did a load of washing and I watched
her jarmis and she was like, oh my god, I
need to get you to watch my Christmas jarmies because
she hasn't worn them for like a year. They might
be a bit dusty or whatever. Sure, And so I
took them and watched them for her, and then I
followed them, laid them out on the bed with a
little note said why are you on it? Yeah, and
then it said, hey, don't forget. As soon as December finishes,

(03:22):
these go back in the draw. I don't care how
many days you forgot. That's on you, right, And there's
a picture of a fest on it. Ah.

Speaker 3 (03:28):
Yeah, so that's the one.

Speaker 1 (03:32):
The whole Warchy Big Show week days from four on
Radio Hiarchy.

Speaker 2 (03:38):
Remember the Warky Big Show podcast.

Speaker 3 (03:41):
Where on Christmas Day with you her folks, your folks.

Speaker 1 (03:45):
No, so my folks.

Speaker 4 (03:46):
We always do early in the year because Christmas, well,
my mom doesn't really do Christmas.

Speaker 1 (03:51):
Okay, yeah, it's not a huge deal at our house,
but it's a huge deal to your old man. I'm
saying about your old man missing it on this. I
don't like that, no, one.

Speaker 4 (03:58):
Hundred percent, which is why the weekend before we always
do a big thing, big bricky thing. I always buy
presents and blah blahlah. My brother does too, and it's
a big you know, Yeah, it's a big thing. And
then my mum's gifts have just got like non Christmasy
stuff on it. She hates Christmas, No, she likes it,
but she's just it's her religion that that she doesn't
believe in Christmas good.

Speaker 1 (04:16):
But she's happy for the old man to get involved.

Speaker 4 (04:18):
For loves it, loves loves the fact that Lucy's Christmas pajamas,
loves all that stuff. So we do a Christmas thing
the weekend prior, which is in my family traditionally is
a mini bike day because we've got these fifty cc
motorbikes that we riding, and my dad still got like
heads from the nineteen sixties and stuff, and all his
brothers and the cousins come around.

Speaker 1 (04:39):
We have a big race day.

Speaker 4 (04:40):
How many I think there's about there's about twenty bikes.
There's about twelve of us that ride them and race.

Speaker 1 (04:47):
You guys are all coked up to the open.

Speaker 4 (04:48):
We're all coked o not coke speed speed, and we
just get stuck and yeah, and it's like my dad's
broken his ribs twice on minibike race day.

Speaker 3 (05:00):
So Christmas say, you're at your wife's parents and my
wife's parents, lots of food, way too much food.

Speaker 4 (05:06):
I'll be washing the spuds. My job's to wash the spuds.
You're out of the garden.

Speaker 3 (05:10):
It's three forty six.

Speaker 1 (05:12):
We've eaten what state is keesy and I've in a
food comba. We've way too much.

Speaker 2 (05:17):
I've started to have beers. I'm now sleepy, as you're
kind of hoping.

Speaker 4 (05:20):
I can go home for a nap, Yes, and then
maybe a few beers later, but a soup or leftovers,
then be probably bet again, maybe watch a movie.

Speaker 1 (05:29):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (05:29):
Well for me, I'll be at home. My mother in
law is going to be there, one of my girls
is going to be there, and my other girl is
churning up at midday.

Speaker 2 (05:40):
Right, okay, so they're all there now.

Speaker 3 (05:43):
So they're all here now.

Speaker 1 (05:44):
Wow, that must have.

Speaker 2 (05:45):
Been annoyed that you just leave and come to the potty.

Speaker 1 (05:47):
Yeah, very And.

Speaker 3 (05:48):
I can tell you we'll have a massive lunch, massive
lunch and just stuff our heads with delicious food and
just chit chat, play music, hang out and that'll be it.

Speaker 1 (06:02):
Hang on some vapes, yeah.

Speaker 3 (06:04):
I'll I'll be vaping my daughter Millie, she'll be puffing
her little rollies there, and I'll be if and Jeff
and that I'm not smoking.

Speaker 1 (06:11):
I might even steal one. I think you should, man, Yeah, yeah,
I see yourself. You feel better on the day.

Speaker 3 (06:16):
Yeah, I do, sadly, and yeah, it will just be
a family day. Feelers back in the day. Of course,
I just get steamed. But I don't do that.

Speaker 1 (06:25):
Now, what about you, pegs, What will you be doing?
You can't hear it. I can't hear us. Man, come
come through men, So.

Speaker 3 (06:33):
That'll be good. Yeah, and I'll just eat stupid amounts
of ham.

Speaker 1 (06:38):
Yeah, I'm looking forward to the Just ask him what
you'll be up to on Christmas Day?

Speaker 5 (06:43):
If I told you guys about the time I ate
too much Christmas, yes, and shout it, shout it out
of both ends for twenty four hours straight and de layers.

Speaker 1 (06:50):
To go to the hospital and shout out of your mouth.
Might as well.

Speaker 5 (06:55):
No, sorry, this is I apologize, but I just you
reminded me. You reminded me of there. I remember being
at home and just packing at the ham all day.
You know, we're in that food come of lazy stage.

Speaker 2 (07:07):
If you do pick it, you put it on the
floor like a chicken, and you'll just pick at it.

Speaker 6 (07:11):
You find that's pecking one hundred percent.

Speaker 5 (07:13):
Man. I was just packing it out of the container.
And then later in the day I was playing the
last of us one on Piers three, and then I thought, oh,
what's that feeling, and then proceeded to shout myself for
twenty four hours. And then I literally thought it wasn't
going to end and that was my new life. And
then I went to the hospital and they gave me
a nice clock and I spewed that.

Speaker 6 (07:31):
Up to you just got to write it out.

Speaker 1 (07:33):
Man.

Speaker 6 (07:33):
You must have got a bug or something. And then
I didn't neat hand for three years.

Speaker 1 (07:35):
So that's what you're doing this Christmas.

Speaker 6 (07:38):
That's the plan Christmas, and this time with beers.

Speaker 1 (07:41):
Were you going to be?

Speaker 6 (07:42):
I'm going to be in Stokes Valley heart where the
fun it was?

Speaker 1 (07:47):
So I think I did. My man lived in Stokes the.

Speaker 5 (07:52):
Gully there, here's stream, Oh yes, what here street street.

Speaker 1 (07:58):
Tacked away a little place there as river that rans
through the side. I don't think there is a good side.

Speaker 6 (08:03):
Well that's valid. I'll just be.

Speaker 5 (08:08):
Exchanging gifts we've been. I think I'm in charge of
drinks and cheese and crackers and stuff like stuff and
for my family Christmas, yeah man, yeah, bringing the.

Speaker 2 (08:21):
Yeah, just asking are you serious?

Speaker 1 (08:23):
Yeah? When you just don't quit on the connice, we'll.

Speaker 3 (08:27):
Do also because you you're probably the same as you.
We do a family movie at the end of the night.

Speaker 1 (08:32):
What are you going for?

Speaker 3 (08:34):
It's always something stupid like Love Actually or something that's
great serious.

Speaker 1 (08:41):
Rules.

Speaker 3 (08:41):
There will be six females and one male in the house.

Speaker 2 (08:45):
I know, but like to have a shot and say,
Love Actually is a stupid movie.

Speaker 1 (08:48):
It's a really great film. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (08:52):
Funeral it's funerals great actually this year.

Speaker 3 (08:56):
By the way, don't do it to yourself.

Speaker 2 (08:59):
Make my god, man, don't do it to yourself. You
try and stop him? Man, all right, he loves it.

Speaker 6 (09:05):
Hey, thanks guys.

Speaker 1 (09:06):
I recommend Bad Santa, Yes, which I used to watch
every Christmas with my mum. She loves it. Elf. Die
Hard is good.

Speaker 2 (09:16):
Yeah, I had you're not going to get die Hard
across the line with the ladies.

Speaker 7 (09:21):
My mom loves huge Dihard. Yeah, but she's she's a bat. Yeah,
she's a bad what's again March? Yeah, yeah, it's short
for Marjorie. Marjorie on behalf of the Big Show. Just
a Merry Christmas to all you be.

Speaker 1 (09:40):
Merry Christmas. It was spread having a great you're a
filthy bask Can we just go for an extra twenty
five seconds because we haven't even made well wrapped it up.

Speaker 2 (09:53):
What are we prisents Christmas presents?

Speaker 1 (09:55):
Man?

Speaker 3 (09:56):
You know we found out what we're all doing on
the day.

Speaker 1 (09:59):
What else you need? You know?

Speaker 6 (10:00):
Well, I don't know what are we doing on Boxing Day?

Speaker 3 (10:02):
And wish everyone merry Christmas.

Speaker 1 (10:05):
To get pissed up the night before today? Yeah all right,
well I don't know.

Speaker 3 (10:11):
Oh this will be honest, bell as you'll do both days.

Speaker 1 (10:14):
It's not funck around, yeah, problem saving it for New
Years from the big show. Yes, have a merry Christmas, Christmas,
I already said that.

Speaker 2 (10:22):
Very Christmas and a happy New Year.

Speaker 1 (10:24):
I love you, say on home alone, Merry Christmas? Yeah
you Filthy Animals. Yeah it's good. She's stick that bit
of audio on the end of this man with the
machine guns?

Speaker 4 (10:35):
And can you put like four other quotes from famous
Christmas movies throughout it?

Speaker 6 (10:39):
Sure?

Speaker 2 (10:39):
And can you make it so the mogi's got like
an alf voice the whole thing?

Speaker 1 (10:43):
Sure? Thanks mate, Now, thanks for listening this year, guys. Yeah,
we appreciate it. We love you.

Speaker 3 (10:49):
Bye three Marry Christmas.

Speaker 1 (11:00):
Filthy Animal Animal
Advertise With Us

Popular Podcasts

Dateline NBC

Dateline NBC

Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com

Stuff You Should Know

Stuff You Should Know

If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.

The Bobby Bones Show

The Bobby Bones Show

Listen to 'The Bobby Bones Show' by downloading the daily full replay.

Music, radio and podcasts, all free. Listen online or download the iHeart App.

Connect

© 2026 iHeartMedia, Inc.