October 5, 2024 • 42 mins
Hi Montoya's Listeners! Tayla and Marcelo want to share a brand new podcast with you. PJ Harding, Tayla's workmate from The Hits has a brand-new podcast - Slow It Down. The podcast is designed to be a moment of me time for busy lives and a weekly dose of wholesome to inspire a grounded existence. If you like it, follow the show on iHeartRadio or wherever you listen to podcasts. It's pretty different to what you're hearing with The Montoya's, but worth a listen!
About the show:
Life is fast. Information is overwhelming. We seem busier and more anxious than ever. Introducing ‘Slow It Down’. A time to chill, wind down and join a space that inspires people to live authentically and slow it down. A hub for living more consciously and incorporating mindful practices and rituals in an achievable way. The aim is to showcase guests who have chosen to live a more balanced lifestyle mixed in with experts who offer tangible tips and tricks to feel a little more zen.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey guys, it's Taylor and Marcelo Montoya from the Montoya's podcast.
Hey guys, oh there, it is nice of you to
chime them in there.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Well, I'm not going to do all the heavy lifting. Yeah,
we'll hurry up.
Speaker 3 (00:13):
Then, what do you want to say?
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Okay, so you know how we do a podcast it's
not a very good one. Well, we're going to talk
about a very good podcast by someone who's actually qualified
in the field. You may know her as PJ Harding
from The Hits, right, she is mate.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
Top of the industry. You do not get bigger names
than PJ.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
I love her. She's one of my idols, to be
completely honest.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
So she has come out with a new podcast with
iHeart and the Hits called Slow It Down with PJ Hardy,
And it's kind of like a moment where you can
sit back, tune out, zen out to this podcast and
she's going to talk to experts in the field and
talk about tangible tips and tricks to fill it a
little more zen.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
And you know what, the more I find out.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
I feel like this is a perfect podcast for you.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
For me, mate, it's a perfect podcast for you.
Speaker 4 (01:02):
But you I meditate it every day, and the best
thing about me I get my own time.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
It's away from you time.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
That's what I need.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
So mate, I'm all for it, and I'll be listening
to it as well.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
Yeah, well I will. Let's listen in separate rooms, so
you can listen upstairs. I listen downstairs because that's really
more zim. I don't need you chiming and go Who's
who's it?
Speaker 3 (01:22):
Who's that?
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Shut up? Let PJ do the talking.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Anyways, episodes drop every Sunday, perfect timing for a moment
of me time. And of course, like all good podcasts,
you can listen on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your
podcasts from.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
Love Your PJ, the Heads podcast Network. Hello and welcome
to Slow It Down.
Speaker 4 (01:49):
I'm your host PJ Harding, and I've started this podcast because, well,
pretty selfishly, really, I feel like life is so busy.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
Even though I live.
Speaker 4 (02:02):
Literally in the middle of nowhere, off grid, surrounded by
bush you'd think that you could just quiet in the noise,
But I still feel stressed.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
I still feel overwhelmed.
Speaker 4 (02:13):
I still feel that pressure of keeping up with what
everyone else is doing. And I want to carve out
some time every week to sit down and have really
conscious conversations with people who are also living busy lives,
and I want to pick their brains and work out
how they find peace and the chaos and what.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
Rituals they do to stay sane. It's that simple.
Speaker 4 (02:36):
Every week I'll have a new guest and hopefully we
can be inspired together. I don't want this to be
a judgmental zone. I want it to be a place
you can chill out and listen to over the weekend.
And I am so excited to introduce my first guest
on the.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Show, Zoe Marshall.
Speaker 4 (02:54):
We actually briefly work together back in the day when
she was working on ZDM and Auckland. She worked on
a show there for a while, and then we've sort
of just kept in touch over the years, and she's
gone on to.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Create some amazing podcasts.
Speaker 4 (03:13):
She created The Deep and then started a subscription called
The Deeper, and the conversations that she has had on
that podcast have been pretty heavy. She's talked to people well,
parents that have been given a terminal diagnosis. She's talked
to is atics, conscious sex workers.
Speaker 3 (03:35):
The list goes on.
Speaker 4 (03:36):
She's not afraid to tackle a taboo topic, and more recently,
She's gone on to create a new platform called Rise,
which helps people create the life.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
They deserve, and it's all about manifestation.
Speaker 4 (03:49):
But as she says, it's manifestation a bit better and
she talks about her there's so much more to it
than just at being woo. There's a lot of science
to back up some of this stuff. So I can't
wait to pick her brain in this episode. And I
really hope you enjoying my chat with Sally. Oh sorry,
I've been so excited to catch up with you. It
has been a while. I think the last time we talked,
(04:11):
i'd just give him birth and I went through like
a step by step harrowing encounter of what happens.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Yeah, you were there was a little bit of PTSD.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
Yeah, yeah, So it's really nice to see your beautiful
face again, and you howlds the baby he's just gone
to Wow.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Two years since I spoke to you, it's crazy. Yeah,
you were living in the bush.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
I am pretty much.
Speaker 4 (04:37):
Yes, yes, though I work in the nearest town now,
so I actually do a radio show out of the
local rural Tarmas is a twenty minute drive.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Look at you all set up?
Speaker 4 (04:51):
Trustful, I'll run through what slow It Down is and
kind of the premise of this podcast and why I
thought you'd be a perfect fat So basically, I think
since moving to the middle of nowhere, you know, I
had this expectation that life becomes slow and relaxed and
I'd be grounded. And the reality is, I'm still stressed.
(05:14):
Life still feels chaotic, and I have a beautiful life,
but it's so easy to not appreciate everything beautiful in
front of you. So I want to talk about tips
and tracks and ways to really feel like.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
You can make the most of the golden years.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
Oh my god, are we in the golden years?
Speaker 3 (05:34):
I know, I know for sure.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
I feel like this is so aligned with where I
am at because I am very literally in a metamorphosis
of wanting to have the experiences and wisdom of like
being an elder on a rocking chair, you know, yep,
(05:57):
but like doing all of that now, the pace, the presence,
the appreciation now. So I am I'm just I want
to get rid of everything. I want to get rid of,
like a lot of my belongings. I want to downsize
everything in my life. I want to just have my
(06:20):
needs met and then be able to do less, and
I am like, it already is happening. And I think
it all started with like I had a quite quite
a scary breast scare in June, and that just shifts everything.
And it's such a shame that human beings need such
(06:42):
a dire situation to wake them up, but I did.
And I just got back from two and a half
weeks in Europe and Dubai and literally just sitting in
the sun eating bread and butter and olive oil. I
was like, this is living. Obviously, it's very different circumstances,
(07:06):
but what if we could bring that level. I like
to call it like the magic in the mundane, like
finding the miracles.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
Stop it there.
Speaker 4 (07:16):
It's literally like one of my ves Well objectives of
this podcast is finding magic in the mundane, or like
finding meaning in the mundane, right, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
And I find like being in awe of everything around us.
So I think we have just been really stripped of
so much importance because of you know, how distracted we are,
how we've got these kind of really quick dopamine hits
(07:48):
all the time. We're not able to focus in and
slow down and appreciate the things that we have. I
created a whole new business. I got rid of slowed
down one side of my business and started a new
one which is all around this, and it's around manifestation
co creation mindset, but truly, like it sounds like a riddle,
(08:11):
but everything that we want, if you are living as
if you already have that thing, and you're already feeling
the way it would feel to have the thing, then
you already have the feeling you would have it even
if you got it. So it's kind of like once
you get all the stuff right, like I went really
(08:32):
hard in my career and I got the accolades, and
I got the fancy car, and I got the fancy house,
and I got the fancy things, and then you're like,
oh fuck, I didn't need any of the fancy things,
any of them. Yes, right now, shut down all those businesses.
Start something that feels like in true service, which will
(08:53):
also keep me accountable every single day and just be
able to meet life where it's at and be able
to prac just in real time. Like it's okay to
become heady about all of this and get into the
education and do the YouTube and be in the tutorials
and join the courses. But unless you're in complete chaotic insanity,
(09:16):
and you don't start to bring this stuff in, there's
no point, Like you're just on the kind of little
rat wheel. What do you call it?
Speaker 3 (09:24):
Yeah, thats the rat race.
Speaker 4 (09:27):
That's also another reason why I wanted to do this,
because I've bought so many self help books of my life,
and I know all the shit to do, but just
sometimes implementing it is kind of hard. And you're right,
it's so sad that we have to have like these
life awakening moments, you know, whether it's a family member
(09:47):
getting really unwell or you lose your house or whatever.
When people are really stared with what reality is, that's
when they're like, oh, fuck, I don't have long to
live and I mean to love.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
I can't waste another second, and like.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
What am I doing?
Speaker 3 (10:03):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (10:03):
And how am I eating? And how am I moving?
And how am I turning up for my family? And
how am I working? And like like we are just
in this autopilot of life happening to us, and no
one actually stops until you're forced to stop, which is
a health scare or a death or like a crumbling
(10:24):
and you're like, oh my god, I have to change.
I can't smoke anymore, I can't drink like like all
of the things. But really, I guess what I'm trying
to teach my community at a RISE is like, we
don't need to get to breaking point to change, Like
we can bring in really incredible mini habits to change
(10:46):
your life and it will change your life and you
can have these realizations now and not at seventy you know,
on the Rocking Chair. I feel like I'm very aligned
with your podcast.
Speaker 4 (10:58):
Well, I was looking at some of your I was
on the Rise page today and there was one that
caught my eye, and it was so funny because this
woman was talking to you about the importance of starting
your day with something positive and how that will set
you up for a more positive experience.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
Not necessarily bring you more.
Speaker 4 (11:14):
Positivity, but you'll be more aware of the positive things
that happened to you. So I watched that video and
then that second I've got it into practice, right, And
I was like, Okay, Okay, you're right, because I wake
up in like a stressed mode, right, and I know
I should be more mindful. So I was like, Okay,
I'm gonna say the mantra, what if everything.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
Just wicked up.
Speaker 4 (11:33):
What if everything just works up? What if everything just
wixs ut? And I keep saying that and then no
shits away. I walk outside the house and there was
this rainbow just going over our house like it was
the perfect rainbow, and I was like, I gotta chill
zoey that and then it just stayed there for our
ages and I was like, okay, well, that in itself
(11:54):
is just one of those moments.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
And so there is science behind this, because my program
is backed by Euroscience. There's science behind starting your day
with a declaration, an affirmation, a positive headspace like it
it it's not just wo wooshit no, it like impacts
your rath system. Your rat system is your reticular activation system.
(12:16):
And what that does is we are consuming so much
information all the time as humans. We are always scanning
for information that makes us true or safe. So if
you wake up and you're like life is hard, things
are hard, and nothing works out for me, your ra
system is figuring out. Like I'm sure there was something
(12:37):
underneath that rainbow, like there was a traffic jam or
there was this or that was that And you were like, okay,
but I see the rainbow in the traffic jem and
I see the rainbow.
Speaker 4 (12:49):
In that moment, I was like, oh my god, because
I'm so guilty of just like back in the day,
I felt like I was bitter at embodying all these
things that I believed, like having all these rettalks.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
But it's so easy to get caught back up.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
In that like will as you talk about, and I
know there's so many beautiful things that I miss out on.
So it was it was quite like a powerful moment
where I was like, you cannot afford to miss all
of this beauty and magic, because that's what it's all about.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
And we do become addicted very immediately to our to
do lists and our needs and our children's needs and
the work and like. But the thing is, which is
so funny and very humbling, is the world doesn't end
if you didn't do the grocery shop, or if the
(13:38):
child is like the school, or if you didn't have
as many talking points for the radio, Like it just doesn't.
Like maybe eventually you'll lose your job.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
If you don't want to keep doing it over and over.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
But I think we start to lose we are putting
things in a very important category that aren't and we're
putting ourselves and our mental health and our movement and
our conversations as like something at the bottom of the
barrels when I've put the kids to bed and I
(14:10):
lay on the couch and I'm scrolling on TikTok and
watching a show at the same time, like it just
we're responsible, And I don't think that anyone can like
victimize themselves because we all have the ability, like we
really do.
Speaker 4 (14:25):
Okay, so give me some really great ways things that
we can do to weave into our day to encourage
that presence.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
I think, firstly, this isn't like a quick hit, This
isn't like winning the lotto, This isn't like a pyramid
scheme marketing thing where you make keeps of money, and like,
no one is going to do this for you, and
it is going to require commitment to yourself. But I
can tell you the people that we look up to,
(14:58):
the celebrities, the entrepreneurs or the billion dollar business people,
have such integrity with their routines to themselves. So I
say to everyone in the course, especially when you're starting,
get up thirty minutes before you usually do, right, and
that's really hard if you've got kids, and you're getting
(15:20):
up at five instead of five thirty, right, but go
to bed earlier and in that thirty minutes you have
the ability to create a declaration when you're in an
alpha state, that awake state, right to program your rust system.
You can do some some I want to say human users.
(15:44):
I want to say it's called like horizon gazing, but
it's when you look out and you're kind of balancing
your circadian rhythm, which is going to really support your sleep.
You can either journal or meditate, whichever feels better for you.
Move and stretch, eat. Like if you do like two
of those six things, you're already setting yourself up right.
(16:06):
So when the kids get up, they're like on, they're
like ready, and you're going to be a better parent.
You're going to be more patient. You're going to be
able to listen to them. They're having a tantrum because
they want the blue cup not the red cup. You're like,
I really understand, I get it. Fuck, I really like
the red cup too. But you won't be just like pulling.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
Them out the door.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
Yeah, oh maybe you will, you know, But I think
that starting your day for yourself and allowing yourself to
set intentions rather than the day. Catch you up is
really important. And then there are a million other things
that we can bring in, like you really got to
be serious about what you're consuming, how much what are
(16:48):
you drinking? Are you a caffeinated person and you're relying
on stimulants? Are you getting your nourishment in like where
little like organisms? I need fed and watered and slept.
And I think it's like looking at basics, are you
moving every day? And then like how do you see
(17:08):
the world and what are you doing so co creation?
How I teach It isn't wish for thinking that a
ferrari is going to end up at your doorstep just
because you put it on your vision board. It's like
what am I doing today? What actions am I taking
to be magnetic to what I want? And so like
(17:31):
I had a real doozy of a day on Thursday.
It was like a fucking doozy, horrendous jet lag. I
hadn't slept at all, bench had food poisoning. My nanny
was off. One of my favorite favorite teammates within my
business resigned. A lawyer needed a very specific information from
(17:56):
me my account wanted to have a really hard conversation
my dog vomited and I couldn't. I couldn't. My daughter
was like, you know, like at me, and so it
was a real moment of like that doesn't just kick
a person into doing that, kicks you into like safety
(18:20):
seeking behavior finding security. And I went into my my autopilot,
which is like fix everything now, like blinkers on, don't
talk to me. I'm going to solve all the world's
problems in this moment. And then my husband was like,
you're not okay. I was like, I'm really not okay.
(18:40):
Like a lot is happening, and we have this beautiful session.
We had this workshop within the community that night, which
was such perfect timing, and within this workshop, I was
able to explore what it would look like if I
did things differently, like that way of tunnel vision, getting
(19:01):
everything done, fixing it all in one day and stressing
myself out. I've done for forty years, So what would
the other way look like. I saw benj my husband, downstairs,
after this workshop, and I said, listen, I know I
was in a wild state when you saw me. I
need you to know that I'm going to practice something
(19:22):
and tomorrow I am not going to do anything about
those things I've already like literally shot off. I've taken
taken so much action today to put out ten fires.
But tomorrow I'm not going to chase like the fire engine.
I'm just going to allow the action that I've taken
(19:43):
to simmer and connect. I'm going to go to the beach, no.
Speaker 3 (19:48):
Beach, swim.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
I'm going to take my daughter to the beach, and
I am physically going to take myself out of where
I want to be with fixed And it was in
those moments, and that's what I said at the beginning
of this, which was when the shit hits the fan,
what learnings and what practices are you putting into place?
(20:12):
Because we go to the place we feel the safest,
we don't go to the place which we have the
greatest growth. And so I took my own advice and
I went to the beach and I did that stuff.
And then I realized, with a bit of space, you
have a bit of clarity that I was like, oh
my god, this colleague leaving is the best thing for us.
(20:34):
And it hurts because I love them, But you would
never have let them go. You would never and this
is holding the business back. What are you going to
do and so now on Monday morning, I have three
incredible business strategists that are like the whole thing has
just come together because there's been space and I've done
(20:55):
something implemented the growth with out kind of that habitual.
You know, I wanted wine. I wanted heaps of wine.
I wanted to eat heaps of chips, and I.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
Wanted to did you do any of that or did
you just go to the beach?
Speaker 2 (21:10):
I just went to the beach and then I went
for a walk and I was like, this is so
fucked being woke, Like how boring.
Speaker 3 (21:17):
And then on the.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
Weekend, I definitely had two glasses of red wine. That's
me being really wild. And I've woken up today no
jet lag, and just like I just am excited, like
I did all my practices this morning.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
I'm back.
Speaker 4 (21:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
And only it doesn't have to You don't have to
spial for six months. Hmmm, Like you can like do
this in a day.
Speaker 4 (21:52):
With manifestations, people often talk about not forcing, not forcing,
not forcing. You took a step back from there and
you just allowed and then all of sudden it was trust.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Yeah, mantra, It was like let go let God, you know,
trust trust for us. But that's really hard for like
a control freak. Even as a manifestation master like you,
still it's just a humbling experience because you never graduate
from this stuff. Your life is just impacted by different
situations and circumstances where you just keep leveling up and
(22:23):
it's a beautiful life, like it's an extraordinary life. But
what you see a success and what I see a
success and the person listening are so vastly different. And
I'm not playing the game anymore for whatever anybody else
thinks is successful.
Speaker 4 (22:41):
For me, God, I get so caught up and there,
I really do, and I think that I'm bigger than that,
or you know, mature enough to like see past it.
But I still compare myself to so many people, And
then I'm like, why the hell am I comparing myself
to her? I don't actually want to be like her,
but I'm still comparing myself. But if you didn't want
what she had, why you compare exactly? I don't know,
(23:02):
because there must be an answer. There's got to be something.
I don't know because I feel like they've got more
success than me, and I feel like I could be
doing that. But then I'm like, no, but I don't
want to be doing that, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (23:14):
But do you think that their peers are looking at
them like, oh, they're more successful than Polly.
Speaker 3 (23:20):
No one, no one's looking at it like that my brain,
or like.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
Are they thinking, you know, Polly chose to live out
in the wilderness and chose peace, and I'm still here
doing the rat race thing like Polly's got success. I
don't I want that. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (23:40):
Oh, it's the rose ten of glasses, It's the grass
is always greener mentality.
Speaker 3 (23:43):
And I want to know do you have an answer
on how to get out of it?
Speaker 2 (23:47):
I think we need to get really really clear on
what we want and why we want it. And if
you come from a place of ego where I want
what she has or I want that job, because then
my peers think, or my mum will think, or I'll
drive a Lamborghini and hot chicks will like me. Versus
(24:07):
I want to do work that I feel passionate and purposeful,
and I want to be living a life in integrity
and of service to others are two very different things.
Like it's okay to want fancy shit because our ego
is always running in the background, and we want people
(24:28):
to give us a compliment or acknowledge us or make
us seen like it's very human. But that's fine on
like a superficial level. When we're talking about like our
life path and our purpose, like get really clear on why.
Because when we go back to that whole point of
like feeling the feeling of being the most successful version
(24:52):
of yourself, right, if you're living that feeling, walking as
if you're that person, talking as if you're that person,
you're going to be attracting so many opportunities and people
and places and things and serendipitous moments that meet you
there when it's in truth versus ego. And so it's
(25:13):
like you can keep trying to out smart yourself or
you can just like surrender your options.
Speaker 4 (25:21):
Yes, And when you get into those mindset's the such
roadblocks and obstacles to actually getting what you want, like
they're just fucking waste of time.
Speaker 2 (25:34):
Waste of time. And you think you want the push, right, yeah,
and then you get it and you realize no one
is looking at you in your push, no one gives
a shit about you and your push, like they really don't.
And the people that do like you know what I mean.
Speaker 4 (25:54):
I remember when I was in Australia and I was
on billboards and I was like, really good work, and
I just remember going, as I said, I was like
finding this river, this is not going to be this
is like there was such a big part of me
that didn't feel that deep sense of fulfillment, and like
that was confronting to a lot of people. I think
they were like, why would you step away when you're
in you know, this position? And I was like, I
(26:16):
can't really explain it, but I just got to go
home and I got to grab my roads, and you like,
you've got to follow those nudges.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
And I think that people see that as successful when
you're not being dictated to by what society is you
should have and you're following your truth, even if that
looks crazy, like like living in this beautiful home and
not wanting it anymore because it's too much, and you
don't know it's too much until you're in it, and
(26:46):
going like I want something that is enough, not too much.
Like it's weird for people are not okay, and that's
okay because they're not in the same place as you,
and you just have to be you will be confronting
for people because they are being mirrored what is actually
drinking back to them, And that's not your problem. You
(27:10):
just have to be in your truth.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
So you're going to get a tiny home and like
travel to rural New.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
Zealand next to you fighting for your radio job.
Speaker 4 (27:24):
So I have to see you talk about the importance
of boundaries, particularly over the last couple of years.
Speaker 3 (27:29):
Can you talk through that, like how does that look
for you? Saying no? As a former people pleaser, Oh
my god.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
Like I had Terry Cole, who is like the boundary
master come on board and take us through it, and
I think it's just such an interesting thing, especially raising
a little girl to you know, what we're like as
women and how we were raised as children in the
(27:55):
eighties and nineties. Is such a impact on our boundaries sexually,
with consent, with work, with like signing off your email's
kiss kiss, like like all of the stuff as a
woman and boundaries versus even bringing in you know, men
(28:16):
into the equation and how they do boundaries that just
seems so much more adequate than we are. But boundaries.
So I'm writing a book. It's in it's almost ed
its final edit and first it's my first deal. Oh
my god, it's so great.
Speaker 3 (28:35):
Congratulations, thank you.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
It's such a wonderful experience. But this, this whole I
have this whole chapter around boundaries because it's almost like,
and I explain it like this, like having a door,
bitch right to your energy and to yourself, and you
are a exquisite, like very very elevated.
Speaker 3 (29:03):
Club.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
You know, like we're talking, you just can't get in.
You need like a membership, you need who's who, like
it is like the Kram Dela Cram. And then you've
got drunks out in the middle of the night trying
to get into your club. It's like, no, they're going
to come in, piss on the walls, have punch up,
smash all the glasses, like absolutely not, Like this is
(29:25):
a sacred place. Boundaries are for us. It looks like
we're putting a boundary there for somebody else, but they
are for us. And when we say, unfortunately, I'm out
of office from three pm every day and the emails
keep coming and you get back to them on a
(29:45):
Monday and they're like, hey, you didn't get back to
my emails. Yeah, it really clearly states that I'm out
of office from three pm without an explanation. When a
family member wants to come over and see your newborn
baby but they're sick, and you're like, sorry, we're not
having visitors for this week and next, and i'd really
appreciate it if you could let me know when you're
(30:07):
well and then we'll organize a time that suits us.
You know, Like all of these things, it's not people
see it as being rude. It's not being rude. It's
allowing people to understand your standards and what you require
in life. People think that I am very particular, neurotic,
(30:32):
and some of those things are true, but I also
have exceptional standards for myself and then for everybody else.
If you're in my orbit, and if you're not, like
I don't mind, but if you're working with me or
if we're friends, there is a quality that I expect
and that I will return in favor. And I think
(30:53):
the boundaries help that. And I'm really willing, like I
love other people's boundaries. When I see someone like set
a boundary, I'm like, fuck, that's hot. I'm so sexy
for them. Like I like respect, You have self respect,
so I mean you want more information. The whole workshop
gives you like play by play on how to set
a boundary. But this also will come up in moments
(31:18):
that feel deeply uncomfortable, where you will people please when
you really should set a boundary, and so.
Speaker 3 (31:24):
How do you how do you prevent that?
Speaker 4 (31:25):
Like when it is an in this like spur of
the moment kind of thing and someone's there and you're
like not prepared for it because I guess we're boundaries.
Sometimes people can be ready to reply with an email
or whatever, but if they if someone comes up and
they ask something in your face and you're like, like
the people pleaser might want to come out like of course, I.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
Would say, like, if we're going from full on people
pleasing to boundaries, there's like an evolution. I would ask
for time. I would say like, oh, that's a really
interesting question. Could I get back to you on that?
Not in a in five minutes or in a day.
Can I get back to you on that. That's a
really kind way to pause yourself. Then you could reflect
and go like, oh no, I could have said thank
(32:04):
you so much for the opportunity, it just doesn't fit
for me, or unfortunately I can't stay back today. I
have some commitments, you know, or unfortunately my contracts I
end every day five o'clock. I won't be staying back,
but we can negotiate if you wanted to explore something further.
So I think to start with us for time and
(32:27):
then reflect on what you really wanted to say, and
then always lead with kindness. It's like being really firm
but being really kind.
Speaker 4 (32:34):
And how has life changed since you've been better at
sitting these boundaries?
Speaker 2 (32:39):
Like you just have so much more time you can't
like life is too short to do things you feel
obligated to do unless you're in a contract.
Speaker 3 (32:48):
A yeah, you can't really get out of that.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
Look, I'm really in this transitional evolution even with friendships
with family members, Like, really, I'm doing some big stuff,
ending some big relationships that have required endings for a
long time that I haven't been able to do out
of obligation. And you don't. No one deserves anything from
(33:16):
you if they're not meeting you. And it feels so good.
It doesn't mean that there are parts of me, like
the shadowy parts of myself that don't miss them, you know,
and the comfort of certain parts of the relationship. But
the commitment to myself is more important than that.
Speaker 3 (33:40):
I love that. So how would you describe how life
feels right now for you?
Speaker 2 (33:47):
Really exciting? Thursday wasn't so exciting. Today is really exciting.
There is a lot of movement, there's a lot of change,
but I am so willing to evolve and just I
think I've had that weird, you know, society impact on
(34:12):
me where I have to keep scaling and growing and scaling,
and now.
Speaker 3 (34:14):
I'm just like, no, no, I'm just going to I'm
going to downsize.
Speaker 2 (34:21):
Yes, the quality of what I've got out there is
so high, it's ever green. We don't I don't need
need to do more without that happening really organically.
Speaker 4 (34:32):
Or if there was a quote that you live by,
or you think there's a quote that is such a
good mantra for one's life, does one pop to the
top of your head.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
I've got one. We had to we did this for
the book, and I was like, asking you shall receive,
and it's actually that quote is actually in the Bible,
and so we had to like reference the Bible. And
then they were like, you're definitely setting the wrong toe.
So I removed asking you sha received to whether you
(35:07):
think it's true or not. Hang on, it's oh my god,
where do you think it? What do you think it's
true or not?
Speaker 3 (35:15):
You're right right?
Speaker 2 (35:16):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (35:17):
These are similar one like that, like whether you think
you can or not, you're right right as well.
Speaker 2 (35:21):
Yeah, and I love that because it's the same thing.
There's too many like I love let go or be dragged.
That's one of my favorite things therapist because she's very
My therapist is like a psychologist, but she's definitely spiritually inclined.
We had this real we had an amazing session and
(35:44):
we kind of I guess I said that, and she's
kept it forever as a reminder to me. Is like,
you know, you can choose the hard way or the
easy way, it's still going to be the way.
Speaker 3 (35:52):
Oh that's good.
Speaker 4 (35:54):
Yeah, it's really good for someone who's in a bit
of a rut at the moment, feeling like they're not
living their best life in this so much more that
they want to be achieving, but they just feel like
they're kind of stuck.
Speaker 3 (36:03):
Do you have any advice to get out of that rut?
Speaker 2 (36:06):
I mean, join the membership, use me to your disposure,
come in. Do you know something really seriously, though. Within
that community is having people around you to inspire you.
We call them rises, and they're people that show, like,
you know how you were like comparing yourself to the
(36:27):
girl at the radio station, being able to transform her
into if you wanted that you didn't want that, right,
but say that you did. Transforming that envy into someone
that stretches you, that you can talk to, that you're
inspired by is such an amazing way. And within the community,
(36:50):
you have all these people every day going, oh my god,
I'm stuck, I'm in a rut, and you have someone
else coming up with this helped me? Or did you
try this or this meditation is amazing? Or did you
do the Inner Child workshop? And then you've got people
that are there to champion you. You've got people there
that can help you do priming phone calls. Like I
think staying accountable is the biggest thing. It's kind of
(37:12):
like a gym work membership or losing weight or doing
something new. You have to have accountability. And that's why
I created the community is because and I'm talking about
the Arise community is because when I was in this
ten years ago and there was no one doing it.
It's so hard to stay committed and to believe. And
(37:32):
even when you've called in everything and you've taken the
aligned action and you've done everything, and you're in the abyss,
which is the time where we wait for the manifestation
to occur.
Speaker 3 (37:44):
It's hard.
Speaker 2 (37:45):
Bit I hate the most, and so having being in
a space that's safe and you can just be like,
I am dying here, like my patience is running out
what I do and they're like, go back to trust,
go back to gratitude, do like, go back to the work.
It's such a help helpful thing because when you're out
on your loan like an island and you're in the abuse,
(38:06):
you're like, it doesn't work. Fuck this ship. I'm going
back to my old job that I hate. So yeah,
I've created the thing I needed the most, and it's
it's very impactful.
Speaker 3 (38:19):
So people can find it just if we want to
do a little fluggy blood plug.
Speaker 2 (38:23):
I think it's I think, oh my gosh, I should notice.
I think it's a rise dot com dot a U
A R double I S E. Or on Instagram it's
a Rise A R I double A S E Underscore
Underscore Underscore because I fucked up the first.
Speaker 3 (38:39):
Did you charge of Come on, guys, can you do ad? Guys?
That's why you act like you're terrible and then no
one asks you to do things.
Speaker 2 (38:49):
It's a good, good technician, accomplishment woman.
Speaker 4 (38:54):
Okay, So I'm going to wrap this podcast up with
some advice that you would give to your younger self.
Let's say Zoe is the early twenties, she's just finding
her way through life.
Speaker 3 (39:06):
What would be the.
Speaker 4 (39:07):
Biggest negative wisdom that you would in part on younger Zoe.
Speaker 2 (39:15):
It's going to get really really bad and then it's
going to get really really good. So just have faith
when you want to give up, but it gets really good.
Like just trust.
Speaker 4 (39:30):
So beautiful, Zoe, and so nice to reconnect with you today.
I just love because you talk about evolving and how
you love gross and all of that, and I just
feel like every time I see you, you're like an
upgraded version of yourself.
Speaker 2 (39:43):
I love that. It'd be terrible if I'd like gone backwards, right,
You'd be like, what a disappointment? No, but you are.
Speaker 4 (39:49):
But like you grow, You're just constantly shifting with putting
a challenge is to throw in your way. And I
always look at you as an inspiration. So think thank
you so much for coming on the podcast today.
Speaker 2 (40:03):
Thank you beautiful girl, and can't wait to see you
in real life one day.
Speaker 3 (40:08):
Ah that was my chat with Zelly.
Speaker 4 (40:10):
I really hope you enjoyed it. Love to know what
you got out of that conversation the most. I think
some of my big takeaways were they're getting up thirty
minutes earlier. It sounds like such a simple one, but
even when she put it like, oh, if you've got.
Speaker 3 (40:21):
To be tired, got to be thirty minutes earlier. You
know you have to be stripped on sleep. Like sleep
at the end of the day is it runs us
like Honestly, we have to get strict on it.
Speaker 4 (40:35):
And I'm, for one, am very guilty at staying up.
Speaker 3 (40:39):
Too late watching TV, particularly lately, So that.
Speaker 4 (40:42):
Was a really good reminder for me. And also I
loved when she was talking about being the gatekeeper for
your energy and being ruthless and really setting the boundaries
of who gets to come into your life, which, as
she said, it sounds you know, can sound quite brash
and rude, brutal, but I mean, if you want to
give the best version of yourself, you have to get
(41:04):
really clear on.
Speaker 3 (41:07):
Who you want to bring into your world.
Speaker 4 (41:10):
And then finally, I really liked that story about when
she hit that really shitty day and just letting go
when she hits the fan, instead of trying to fix
everything and going into just a biggest state of overwhelm,
actually removing yourself from that situation and going to the beach,
(41:33):
going for a walk, whatever it is, just getting out
of that moment where the world feels like it's falling
in or the sky feels like it's falling in, and actually.
Speaker 3 (41:41):
Stepping back gives you that other perspective.
Speaker 4 (41:43):
So I really like that, not trying to push it
in those situations and just taking a deep breath and
realizing it's actually not the.
Speaker 3 (41:52):
End of the world.
Speaker 4 (41:54):
But I would love to know what you got out
of the chat this week, and you can hit me
up on Instagram PJJ see me a little message. I'd
love to know of any other people you think would
be great to get on for Slow It Down. Thank
you so much for joining me for my first episode.
I really appreciate it, and I'll see you next week.
Hey guys, it's Taylor and Marcelo Montoya from the Montoya's podcast.
Hey guys, oh there, it is nice of you to
chime them in there.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Well, I'm not going to do all the heavy lifting. Yeah,
we'll hurry up.
Speaker 3 (00:13):
Then, what do you want to say?
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Okay, so you know how we do a podcast it's
not a very good one. Well, we're going to talk
about a very good podcast by someone who's actually qualified
in the field. You may know her as PJ Harding
from The Hits, right, she is mate.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
Top of the industry. You do not get bigger names
than PJ.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
I love her. She's one of my idols, to be
completely honest.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
So she has come out with a new podcast with
iHeart and the Hits called Slow It Down with PJ Hardy,
And it's kind of like a moment where you can
sit back, tune out, zen out to this podcast and
she's going to talk to experts in the field and
talk about tangible tips and tricks to fill it a
little more zen.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
And you know what, the more I find out.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
I feel like this is a perfect podcast for you.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
For me, mate, it's a perfect podcast for you.
Speaker 4 (01:02):
But you I meditate it every day, and the best
thing about me I get my own time.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
It's away from you time.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
That's what I need.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
So mate, I'm all for it, and I'll be listening
to it as well.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
Yeah, well I will. Let's listen in separate rooms, so
you can listen upstairs. I listen downstairs because that's really
more zim. I don't need you chiming and go Who's
who's it?
Speaker 3 (01:22):
Who's that?
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Shut up? Let PJ do the talking.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Anyways, episodes drop every Sunday, perfect timing for a moment
of me time. And of course, like all good podcasts,
you can listen on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your
podcasts from.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
Love Your PJ, the Heads podcast Network. Hello and welcome
to Slow It Down.
Speaker 4 (01:49):
I'm your host PJ Harding, and I've started this podcast because, well,
pretty selfishly, really, I feel like life is so busy.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
Even though I live.
Speaker 4 (02:02):
Literally in the middle of nowhere, off grid, surrounded by
bush you'd think that you could just quiet in the noise,
But I still feel stressed.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
I still feel overwhelmed.
Speaker 4 (02:13):
I still feel that pressure of keeping up with what
everyone else is doing. And I want to carve out
some time every week to sit down and have really
conscious conversations with people who are also living busy lives,
and I want to pick their brains and work out
how they find peace and the chaos and what.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
Rituals they do to stay sane. It's that simple.
Speaker 4 (02:36):
Every week I'll have a new guest and hopefully we
can be inspired together. I don't want this to be
a judgmental zone. I want it to be a place
you can chill out and listen to over the weekend.
And I am so excited to introduce my first guest
on the.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Show, Zoe Marshall.
Speaker 4 (02:54):
We actually briefly work together back in the day when
she was working on ZDM and Auckland. She worked on
a show there for a while, and then we've sort
of just kept in touch over the years, and she's
gone on to.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Create some amazing podcasts.
Speaker 4 (03:13):
She created The Deep and then started a subscription called
The Deeper, and the conversations that she has had on
that podcast have been pretty heavy. She's talked to people well,
parents that have been given a terminal diagnosis. She's talked
to is atics, conscious sex workers.
Speaker 3 (03:35):
The list goes on.
Speaker 4 (03:36):
She's not afraid to tackle a taboo topic, and more recently,
She's gone on to create a new platform called Rise,
which helps people create the life.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
They deserve, and it's all about manifestation.
Speaker 4 (03:49):
But as she says, it's manifestation a bit better and
she talks about her there's so much more to it
than just at being woo. There's a lot of science
to back up some of this stuff. So I can't
wait to pick her brain in this episode. And I
really hope you enjoying my chat with Sally. Oh sorry,
I've been so excited to catch up with you. It
has been a while. I think the last time we talked,
(04:11):
i'd just give him birth and I went through like
a step by step harrowing encounter of what happens.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Yeah, you were there was a little bit of PTSD.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
Yeah, yeah, So it's really nice to see your beautiful
face again, and you howlds the baby he's just gone
to Wow.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Two years since I spoke to you, it's crazy. Yeah,
you were living in the bush.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
I am pretty much.
Speaker 4 (04:37):
Yes, yes, though I work in the nearest town now,
so I actually do a radio show out of the
local rural Tarmas is a twenty minute drive.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Look at you all set up?
Speaker 4 (04:51):
Trustful, I'll run through what slow It Down is and
kind of the premise of this podcast and why I
thought you'd be a perfect fat So basically, I think
since moving to the middle of nowhere, you know, I
had this expectation that life becomes slow and relaxed and
I'd be grounded. And the reality is, I'm still stressed.
(05:14):
Life still feels chaotic, and I have a beautiful life,
but it's so easy to not appreciate everything beautiful in
front of you. So I want to talk about tips
and tracks and ways to really feel like.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
You can make the most of the golden years.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
Oh my god, are we in the golden years?
Speaker 3 (05:34):
I know, I know for sure.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
I feel like this is so aligned with where I
am at because I am very literally in a metamorphosis
of wanting to have the experiences and wisdom of like
being an elder on a rocking chair, you know, yep,
(05:57):
but like doing all of that now, the pace, the presence,
the appreciation now. So I am I'm just I want
to get rid of everything. I want to get rid of,
like a lot of my belongings. I want to downsize
everything in my life. I want to just have my
(06:20):
needs met and then be able to do less, and
I am like, it already is happening. And I think
it all started with like I had a quite quite
a scary breast scare in June, and that just shifts everything.
And it's such a shame that human beings need such
(06:42):
a dire situation to wake them up, but I did.
And I just got back from two and a half
weeks in Europe and Dubai and literally just sitting in
the sun eating bread and butter and olive oil. I
was like, this is living. Obviously, it's very different circumstances,
(07:06):
but what if we could bring that level. I like
to call it like the magic in the mundane, like
finding the miracles.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
Stop it there.
Speaker 4 (07:16):
It's literally like one of my ves Well objectives of
this podcast is finding magic in the mundane, or like
finding meaning in the mundane, right, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
And I find like being in awe of everything around us.
So I think we have just been really stripped of
so much importance because of you know, how distracted we are,
how we've got these kind of really quick dopamine hits
(07:48):
all the time. We're not able to focus in and
slow down and appreciate the things that we have. I
created a whole new business. I got rid of slowed
down one side of my business and started a new
one which is all around this, and it's around manifestation
co creation mindset, but truly, like it sounds like a riddle,
(08:11):
but everything that we want, if you are living as
if you already have that thing, and you're already feeling
the way it would feel to have the thing, then
you already have the feeling you would have it even
if you got it. So it's kind of like once
you get all the stuff right, like I went really
(08:32):
hard in my career and I got the accolades, and
I got the fancy car, and I got the fancy house,
and I got the fancy things, and then you're like,
oh fuck, I didn't need any of the fancy things,
any of them. Yes, right now, shut down all those businesses.
Start something that feels like in true service, which will
(08:53):
also keep me accountable every single day and just be
able to meet life where it's at and be able
to prac just in real time. Like it's okay to
become heady about all of this and get into the
education and do the YouTube and be in the tutorials
and join the courses. But unless you're in complete chaotic insanity,
(09:16):
and you don't start to bring this stuff in, there's
no point, Like you're just on the kind of little
rat wheel. What do you call it?
Speaker 3 (09:24):
Yeah, thats the rat race.
Speaker 4 (09:27):
That's also another reason why I wanted to do this,
because I've bought so many self help books of my life,
and I know all the shit to do, but just
sometimes implementing it is kind of hard. And you're right,
it's so sad that we have to have like these
life awakening moments, you know, whether it's a family member
(09:47):
getting really unwell or you lose your house or whatever.
When people are really stared with what reality is, that's
when they're like, oh, fuck, I don't have long to
live and I mean to love.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
I can't waste another second, and like.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
What am I doing?
Speaker 3 (10:03):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (10:03):
And how am I eating? And how am I moving?
And how am I turning up for my family? And
how am I working? And like like we are just
in this autopilot of life happening to us, and no
one actually stops until you're forced to stop, which is
a health scare or a death or like a crumbling
(10:24):
and you're like, oh my god, I have to change.
I can't smoke anymore, I can't drink like like all
of the things. But really, I guess what I'm trying
to teach my community at a RISE is like, we
don't need to get to breaking point to change, Like
we can bring in really incredible mini habits to change
(10:46):
your life and it will change your life and you
can have these realizations now and not at seventy you know,
on the Rocking Chair. I feel like I'm very aligned
with your podcast.
Speaker 4 (10:58):
Well, I was looking at some of your I was
on the Rise page today and there was one that
caught my eye, and it was so funny because this
woman was talking to you about the importance of starting
your day with something positive and how that will set
you up for a more positive experience.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
Not necessarily bring you more.
Speaker 4 (11:14):
Positivity, but you'll be more aware of the positive things
that happened to you. So I watched that video and
then that second I've got it into practice, right, And
I was like, Okay, Okay, you're right, because I wake
up in like a stressed mode, right, and I know
I should be more mindful. So I was like, Okay,
I'm gonna say the mantra, what if everything.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
Just wicked up.
Speaker 4 (11:33):
What if everything just works up? What if everything just
wixs ut? And I keep saying that and then no
shits away. I walk outside the house and there was
this rainbow just going over our house like it was
the perfect rainbow, and I was like, I gotta chill
zoey that and then it just stayed there for our
ages and I was like, okay, well, that in itself
(11:54):
is just one of those moments.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
And so there is science behind this, because my program
is backed by Euroscience. There's science behind starting your day
with a declaration, an affirmation, a positive headspace like it
it it's not just wo wooshit no, it like impacts
your rath system. Your rat system is your reticular activation system.
(12:16):
And what that does is we are consuming so much
information all the time as humans. We are always scanning
for information that makes us true or safe. So if
you wake up and you're like life is hard, things
are hard, and nothing works out for me, your ra
system is figuring out. Like I'm sure there was something
(12:37):
underneath that rainbow, like there was a traffic jam or
there was this or that was that And you were like, okay,
but I see the rainbow in the traffic jem and
I see the rainbow.
Speaker 4 (12:49):
In that moment, I was like, oh my god, because
I'm so guilty of just like back in the day,
I felt like I was bitter at embodying all these
things that I believed, like having all these rettalks.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
But it's so easy to get caught back up.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
In that like will as you talk about, and I
know there's so many beautiful things that I miss out on.
So it was it was quite like a powerful moment
where I was like, you cannot afford to miss all
of this beauty and magic, because that's what it's all about.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
And we do become addicted very immediately to our to
do lists and our needs and our children's needs and
the work and like. But the thing is, which is
so funny and very humbling, is the world doesn't end
if you didn't do the grocery shop, or if the
(13:38):
child is like the school, or if you didn't have
as many talking points for the radio, Like it just doesn't.
Like maybe eventually you'll lose your job.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
If you don't want to keep doing it over and over.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
But I think we start to lose we are putting
things in a very important category that aren't and we're
putting ourselves and our mental health and our movement and
our conversations as like something at the bottom of the
barrels when I've put the kids to bed and I
(14:10):
lay on the couch and I'm scrolling on TikTok and
watching a show at the same time, like it just
we're responsible, And I don't think that anyone can like
victimize themselves because we all have the ability, like we
really do.
Speaker 4 (14:25):
Okay, so give me some really great ways things that
we can do to weave into our day to encourage
that presence.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
I think, firstly, this isn't like a quick hit, This
isn't like winning the lotto, This isn't like a pyramid
scheme marketing thing where you make keeps of money, and like,
no one is going to do this for you, and
it is going to require commitment to yourself. But I
can tell you the people that we look up to,
(14:58):
the celebrities, the entrepreneurs or the billion dollar business people,
have such integrity with their routines to themselves. So I
say to everyone in the course, especially when you're starting,
get up thirty minutes before you usually do, right, and
that's really hard if you've got kids, and you're getting
(15:20):
up at five instead of five thirty, right, but go
to bed earlier and in that thirty minutes you have
the ability to create a declaration when you're in an
alpha state, that awake state, right to program your rust system.
You can do some some I want to say human users.
(15:44):
I want to say it's called like horizon gazing, but
it's when you look out and you're kind of balancing
your circadian rhythm, which is going to really support your sleep.
You can either journal or meditate, whichever feels better for you.
Move and stretch, eat. Like if you do like two
of those six things, you're already setting yourself up right.
(16:06):
So when the kids get up, they're like on, they're
like ready, and you're going to be a better parent.
You're going to be more patient. You're going to be
able to listen to them. They're having a tantrum because
they want the blue cup not the red cup. You're like,
I really understand, I get it. Fuck, I really like
the red cup too. But you won't be just like pulling.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
Them out the door.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
Yeah, oh maybe you will, you know, But I think
that starting your day for yourself and allowing yourself to
set intentions rather than the day. Catch you up is
really important. And then there are a million other things
that we can bring in, like you really got to
be serious about what you're consuming, how much what are
(16:48):
you drinking? Are you a caffeinated person and you're relying
on stimulants? Are you getting your nourishment in like where
little like organisms? I need fed and watered and slept.
And I think it's like looking at basics, are you
moving every day? And then like how do you see
(17:08):
the world and what are you doing so co creation?
How I teach It isn't wish for thinking that a
ferrari is going to end up at your doorstep just
because you put it on your vision board. It's like
what am I doing today? What actions am I taking
to be magnetic to what I want? And so like
(17:31):
I had a real doozy of a day on Thursday.
It was like a fucking doozy, horrendous jet lag. I
hadn't slept at all, bench had food poisoning. My nanny
was off. One of my favorite favorite teammates within my
business resigned. A lawyer needed a very specific information from
(17:56):
me my account wanted to have a really hard conversation
my dog vomited and I couldn't. I couldn't. My daughter
was like, you know, like at me, and so it
was a real moment of like that doesn't just kick
a person into doing that, kicks you into like safety
(18:20):
seeking behavior finding security. And I went into my my autopilot,
which is like fix everything now, like blinkers on, don't
talk to me. I'm going to solve all the world's
problems in this moment. And then my husband was like,
you're not okay. I was like, I'm really not okay.
(18:40):
Like a lot is happening, and we have this beautiful session.
We had this workshop within the community that night, which
was such perfect timing, and within this workshop, I was
able to explore what it would look like if I
did things differently, like that way of tunnel vision, getting
(19:01):
everything done, fixing it all in one day and stressing
myself out. I've done for forty years, So what would
the other way look like. I saw benj my husband, downstairs,
after this workshop, and I said, listen, I know I
was in a wild state when you saw me. I
need you to know that I'm going to practice something
(19:22):
and tomorrow I am not going to do anything about
those things I've already like literally shot off. I've taken
taken so much action today to put out ten fires.
But tomorrow I'm not going to chase like the fire engine.
I'm just going to allow the action that I've taken
(19:43):
to simmer and connect. I'm going to go to the beach, no.
Speaker 3 (19:48):
Beach, swim.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
I'm going to take my daughter to the beach, and
I am physically going to take myself out of where
I want to be with fixed And it was in
those moments, and that's what I said at the beginning
of this, which was when the shit hits the fan,
what learnings and what practices are you putting into place?
(20:12):
Because we go to the place we feel the safest,
we don't go to the place which we have the
greatest growth. And so I took my own advice and
I went to the beach and I did that stuff.
And then I realized, with a bit of space, you
have a bit of clarity that I was like, oh
my god, this colleague leaving is the best thing for us.
(20:34):
And it hurts because I love them, But you would
never have let them go. You would never and this
is holding the business back. What are you going to
do and so now on Monday morning, I have three
incredible business strategists that are like the whole thing has
just come together because there's been space and I've done
(20:55):
something implemented the growth with out kind of that habitual.
You know, I wanted wine. I wanted heaps of wine.
I wanted to eat heaps of chips, and I.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
Wanted to did you do any of that or did
you just go to the beach?
Speaker 2 (21:10):
I just went to the beach and then I went
for a walk and I was like, this is so
fucked being woke, Like how boring.
Speaker 3 (21:17):
And then on the.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
Weekend, I definitely had two glasses of red wine. That's
me being really wild. And I've woken up today no
jet lag, and just like I just am excited, like
I did all my practices this morning.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
I'm back.
Speaker 4 (21:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
And only it doesn't have to You don't have to
spial for six months. Hmmm, Like you can like do
this in a day.
Speaker 4 (21:52):
With manifestations, people often talk about not forcing, not forcing,
not forcing. You took a step back from there and
you just allowed and then all of sudden it was trust.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Yeah, mantra, It was like let go let God, you know,
trust trust for us. But that's really hard for like
a control freak. Even as a manifestation master like you,
still it's just a humbling experience because you never graduate
from this stuff. Your life is just impacted by different
situations and circumstances where you just keep leveling up and
(22:23):
it's a beautiful life, like it's an extraordinary life. But
what you see a success and what I see a
success and the person listening are so vastly different. And
I'm not playing the game anymore for whatever anybody else
thinks is successful.
Speaker 4 (22:41):
For me, God, I get so caught up and there,
I really do, and I think that I'm bigger than that,
or you know, mature enough to like see past it.
But I still compare myself to so many people, And
then I'm like, why the hell am I comparing myself
to her? I don't actually want to be like her,
but I'm still comparing myself. But if you didn't want
what she had, why you compare exactly? I don't know,
(23:02):
because there must be an answer. There's got to be something.
I don't know because I feel like they've got more
success than me, and I feel like I could be
doing that. But then I'm like, no, but I don't
want to be doing that, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (23:14):
But do you think that their peers are looking at
them like, oh, they're more successful than Polly.
Speaker 3 (23:20):
No one, no one's looking at it like that my brain,
or like.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
Are they thinking, you know, Polly chose to live out
in the wilderness and chose peace, and I'm still here
doing the rat race thing like Polly's got success. I
don't I want that. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (23:40):
Oh, it's the rose ten of glasses, It's the grass
is always greener mentality.
Speaker 3 (23:43):
And I want to know do you have an answer
on how to get out of it?
Speaker 2 (23:47):
I think we need to get really really clear on
what we want and why we want it. And if
you come from a place of ego where I want
what she has or I want that job, because then
my peers think, or my mum will think, or I'll
drive a Lamborghini and hot chicks will like me. Versus
(24:07):
I want to do work that I feel passionate and purposeful,
and I want to be living a life in integrity
and of service to others are two very different things.
Like it's okay to want fancy shit because our ego
is always running in the background, and we want people
(24:28):
to give us a compliment or acknowledge us or make
us seen like it's very human. But that's fine on
like a superficial level. When we're talking about like our
life path and our purpose, like get really clear on why.
Because when we go back to that whole point of
like feeling the feeling of being the most successful version
(24:52):
of yourself, right, if you're living that feeling, walking as
if you're that person, talking as if you're that person,
you're going to be attracting so many opportunities and people
and places and things and serendipitous moments that meet you
there when it's in truth versus ego. And so it's
(25:13):
like you can keep trying to out smart yourself or
you can just like surrender your options.
Speaker 4 (25:21):
Yes, And when you get into those mindset's the such
roadblocks and obstacles to actually getting what you want, like
they're just fucking waste of time.
Speaker 2 (25:34):
Waste of time. And you think you want the push, right, yeah,
and then you get it and you realize no one
is looking at you in your push, no one gives
a shit about you and your push, like they really don't.
And the people that do like you know what I mean.
Speaker 4 (25:54):
I remember when I was in Australia and I was
on billboards and I was like, really good work, and
I just remember going, as I said, I was like
finding this river, this is not going to be this
is like there was such a big part of me
that didn't feel that deep sense of fulfillment, and like
that was confronting to a lot of people. I think
they were like, why would you step away when you're
in you know, this position? And I was like, I
(26:16):
can't really explain it, but I just got to go
home and I got to grab my roads, and you like,
you've got to follow those nudges.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
And I think that people see that as successful when
you're not being dictated to by what society is you
should have and you're following your truth, even if that
looks crazy, like like living in this beautiful home and
not wanting it anymore because it's too much, and you
don't know it's too much until you're in it, and
(26:46):
going like I want something that is enough, not too much.
Like it's weird for people are not okay, and that's
okay because they're not in the same place as you,
and you just have to be you will be confronting
for people because they are being mirrored what is actually
drinking back to them, And that's not your problem. You
(27:10):
just have to be in your truth.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
So you're going to get a tiny home and like
travel to rural New.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
Zealand next to you fighting for your radio job.
Speaker 4 (27:24):
So I have to see you talk about the importance
of boundaries, particularly over the last couple of years.
Speaker 3 (27:29):
Can you talk through that, like how does that look
for you? Saying no? As a former people pleaser, Oh
my god.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
Like I had Terry Cole, who is like the boundary
master come on board and take us through it, and
I think it's just such an interesting thing, especially raising
a little girl to you know, what we're like as
women and how we were raised as children in the
(27:55):
eighties and nineties. Is such a impact on our boundaries sexually,
with consent, with work, with like signing off your email's
kiss kiss, like like all of the stuff as a
woman and boundaries versus even bringing in you know, men
(28:16):
into the equation and how they do boundaries that just
seems so much more adequate than we are. But boundaries.
So I'm writing a book. It's in it's almost ed
its final edit and first it's my first deal. Oh
my god, it's so great.
Speaker 3 (28:35):
Congratulations, thank you.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
It's such a wonderful experience. But this, this whole I
have this whole chapter around boundaries because it's almost like,
and I explain it like this, like having a door,
bitch right to your energy and to yourself, and you
are a exquisite, like very very elevated.
Speaker 3 (29:03):
Club.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
You know, like we're talking, you just can't get in.
You need like a membership, you need who's who, like
it is like the Kram Dela Cram. And then you've
got drunks out in the middle of the night trying
to get into your club. It's like, no, they're going
to come in, piss on the walls, have punch up,
smash all the glasses, like absolutely not, Like this is
(29:25):
a sacred place. Boundaries are for us. It looks like
we're putting a boundary there for somebody else, but they
are for us. And when we say, unfortunately, I'm out
of office from three pm every day and the emails
keep coming and you get back to them on a
(29:45):
Monday and they're like, hey, you didn't get back to
my emails. Yeah, it really clearly states that I'm out
of office from three pm without an explanation. When a
family member wants to come over and see your newborn
baby but they're sick, and you're like, sorry, we're not
having visitors for this week and next, and i'd really
appreciate it if you could let me know when you're
(30:07):
well and then we'll organize a time that suits us.
You know, Like all of these things, it's not people
see it as being rude. It's not being rude. It's
allowing people to understand your standards and what you require
in life. People think that I am very particular, neurotic,
(30:32):
and some of those things are true, but I also
have exceptional standards for myself and then for everybody else.
If you're in my orbit, and if you're not, like
I don't mind, but if you're working with me or
if we're friends, there is a quality that I expect
and that I will return in favor. And I think
(30:53):
the boundaries help that. And I'm really willing, like I
love other people's boundaries. When I see someone like set
a boundary, I'm like, fuck, that's hot. I'm so sexy
for them. Like I like respect, You have self respect,
so I mean you want more information. The whole workshop
gives you like play by play on how to set
a boundary. But this also will come up in moments
(31:18):
that feel deeply uncomfortable, where you will people please when
you really should set a boundary, and so.
Speaker 3 (31:24):
How do you how do you prevent that?
Speaker 4 (31:25):
Like when it is an in this like spur of
the moment kind of thing and someone's there and you're
like not prepared for it because I guess we're boundaries.
Sometimes people can be ready to reply with an email
or whatever, but if they if someone comes up and
they ask something in your face and you're like, like
the people pleaser might want to come out like of course, I.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
Would say, like, if we're going from full on people
pleasing to boundaries, there's like an evolution. I would ask
for time. I would say like, oh, that's a really
interesting question. Could I get back to you on that?
Not in a in five minutes or in a day.
Can I get back to you on that. That's a
really kind way to pause yourself. Then you could reflect
and go like, oh no, I could have said thank
(32:04):
you so much for the opportunity, it just doesn't fit
for me, or unfortunately I can't stay back today. I
have some commitments, you know, or unfortunately my contracts I
end every day five o'clock. I won't be staying back,
but we can negotiate if you wanted to explore something further.
So I think to start with us for time and
(32:27):
then reflect on what you really wanted to say, and
then always lead with kindness. It's like being really firm
but being really kind.
Speaker 4 (32:34):
And how has life changed since you've been better at
sitting these boundaries?
Speaker 2 (32:39):
Like you just have so much more time you can't
like life is too short to do things you feel
obligated to do unless you're in a contract.
Speaker 3 (32:48):
A yeah, you can't really get out of that.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
Look, I'm really in this transitional evolution even with friendships
with family members, Like, really, I'm doing some big stuff,
ending some big relationships that have required endings for a
long time that I haven't been able to do out
of obligation. And you don't. No one deserves anything from
(33:16):
you if they're not meeting you. And it feels so good.
It doesn't mean that there are parts of me, like
the shadowy parts of myself that don't miss them, you know,
and the comfort of certain parts of the relationship. But
the commitment to myself is more important than that.
Speaker 3 (33:40):
I love that. So how would you describe how life
feels right now for you?
Speaker 2 (33:47):
Really exciting? Thursday wasn't so exciting. Today is really exciting.
There is a lot of movement, there's a lot of change,
but I am so willing to evolve and just I
think I've had that weird, you know, society impact on
(34:12):
me where I have to keep scaling and growing and scaling,
and now.
Speaker 3 (34:14):
I'm just like, no, no, I'm just going to I'm
going to downsize.
Speaker 2 (34:21):
Yes, the quality of what I've got out there is
so high, it's ever green. We don't I don't need
need to do more without that happening really organically.
Speaker 4 (34:32):
Or if there was a quote that you live by,
or you think there's a quote that is such a
good mantra for one's life, does one pop to the
top of your head.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
I've got one. We had to we did this for
the book, and I was like, asking you shall receive,
and it's actually that quote is actually in the Bible,
and so we had to like reference the Bible. And
then they were like, you're definitely setting the wrong toe.
So I removed asking you sha received to whether you
(35:07):
think it's true or not. Hang on, it's oh my god,
where do you think it? What do you think it's
true or not?
Speaker 3 (35:15):
You're right right?
Speaker 2 (35:16):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (35:17):
These are similar one like that, like whether you think
you can or not, you're right right as well.
Speaker 2 (35:21):
Yeah, and I love that because it's the same thing.
There's too many like I love let go or be dragged.
That's one of my favorite things therapist because she's very
My therapist is like a psychologist, but she's definitely spiritually inclined.
We had this real we had an amazing session and
(35:44):
we kind of I guess I said that, and she's
kept it forever as a reminder to me. Is like,
you know, you can choose the hard way or the
easy way, it's still going to be the way.
Speaker 3 (35:52):
Oh that's good.
Speaker 4 (35:54):
Yeah, it's really good for someone who's in a bit
of a rut at the moment, feeling like they're not
living their best life in this so much more that
they want to be achieving, but they just feel like
they're kind of stuck.
Speaker 3 (36:03):
Do you have any advice to get out of that rut?
Speaker 2 (36:06):
I mean, join the membership, use me to your disposure,
come in. Do you know something really seriously, though. Within
that community is having people around you to inspire you.
We call them rises, and they're people that show, like,
you know how you were like comparing yourself to the
(36:27):
girl at the radio station, being able to transform her
into if you wanted that you didn't want that, right,
but say that you did. Transforming that envy into someone
that stretches you, that you can talk to, that you're
inspired by is such an amazing way. And within the community,
(36:50):
you have all these people every day going, oh my god,
I'm stuck, I'm in a rut, and you have someone
else coming up with this helped me? Or did you
try this or this meditation is amazing? Or did you
do the Inner Child workshop? And then you've got people
that are there to champion you. You've got people there
that can help you do priming phone calls. Like I
think staying accountable is the biggest thing. It's kind of
(37:12):
like a gym work membership or losing weight or doing
something new. You have to have accountability. And that's why
I created the community is because and I'm talking about
the Arise community is because when I was in this
ten years ago and there was no one doing it.
It's so hard to stay committed and to believe. And
(37:32):
even when you've called in everything and you've taken the
aligned action and you've done everything, and you're in the abyss,
which is the time where we wait for the manifestation
to occur.
Speaker 3 (37:44):
It's hard.
Speaker 2 (37:45):
Bit I hate the most, and so having being in
a space that's safe and you can just be like,
I am dying here, like my patience is running out
what I do and they're like, go back to trust,
go back to gratitude, do like, go back to the work.
It's such a help helpful thing because when you're out
on your loan like an island and you're in the abuse,
(38:06):
you're like, it doesn't work. Fuck this ship. I'm going
back to my old job that I hate. So yeah,
I've created the thing I needed the most, and it's
it's very impactful.
Speaker 3 (38:19):
So people can find it just if we want to
do a little fluggy blood plug.
Speaker 2 (38:23):
I think it's I think, oh my gosh, I should notice.
I think it's a rise dot com dot a U
A R double I S E. Or on Instagram it's
a Rise A R I double A S E Underscore
Underscore Underscore because I fucked up the first.
Speaker 3 (38:39):
Did you charge of Come on, guys, can you do ad? Guys?
That's why you act like you're terrible and then no
one asks you to do things.
Speaker 2 (38:49):
It's a good, good technician, accomplishment woman.
Speaker 4 (38:54):
Okay, So I'm going to wrap this podcast up with
some advice that you would give to your younger self.
Let's say Zoe is the early twenties, she's just finding
her way through life.
Speaker 3 (39:06):
What would be the.
Speaker 4 (39:07):
Biggest negative wisdom that you would in part on younger Zoe.
Speaker 2 (39:15):
It's going to get really really bad and then it's
going to get really really good. So just have faith
when you want to give up, but it gets really good.
Like just trust.
Speaker 4 (39:30):
So beautiful, Zoe, and so nice to reconnect with you today.
I just love because you talk about evolving and how
you love gross and all of that, and I just
feel like every time I see you, you're like an
upgraded version of yourself.
Speaker 2 (39:43):
I love that. It'd be terrible if I'd like gone backwards, right,
You'd be like, what a disappointment? No, but you are.
Speaker 4 (39:49):
But like you grow, You're just constantly shifting with putting
a challenge is to throw in your way. And I
always look at you as an inspiration. So think thank
you so much for coming on the podcast today.
Speaker 2 (40:03):
Thank you beautiful girl, and can't wait to see you
in real life one day.
Speaker 3 (40:08):
Ah that was my chat with Zelly.
Speaker 4 (40:10):
I really hope you enjoyed it. Love to know what
you got out of that conversation the most. I think
some of my big takeaways were they're getting up thirty
minutes earlier. It sounds like such a simple one, but
even when she put it like, oh, if you've got.
Speaker 3 (40:21):
To be tired, got to be thirty minutes earlier. You
know you have to be stripped on sleep. Like sleep
at the end of the day is it runs us
like Honestly, we have to get strict on it.
Speaker 4 (40:35):
And I'm, for one, am very guilty at staying up.
Speaker 3 (40:39):
Too late watching TV, particularly lately, So that.
Speaker 4 (40:42):
Was a really good reminder for me. And also I
loved when she was talking about being the gatekeeper for
your energy and being ruthless and really setting the boundaries
of who gets to come into your life, which, as
she said, it sounds you know, can sound quite brash
and rude, brutal, but I mean, if you want to
give the best version of yourself, you have to get
(41:04):
really clear on.
Speaker 3 (41:07):
Who you want to bring into your world.
Speaker 4 (41:10):
And then finally, I really liked that story about when
she hit that really shitty day and just letting go
when she hits the fan, instead of trying to fix
everything and going into just a biggest state of overwhelm,
actually removing yourself from that situation and going to the beach,
(41:33):
going for a walk, whatever it is, just getting out
of that moment where the world feels like it's falling
in or the sky feels like it's falling in, and actually.
Speaker 3 (41:41):
Stepping back gives you that other perspective.
Speaker 4 (41:43):
So I really like that, not trying to push it
in those situations and just taking a deep breath and
realizing it's actually not the.
Speaker 3 (41:52):
End of the world.
Speaker 4 (41:54):
But I would love to know what you got out
of the chat this week, and you can hit me
up on Instagram PJJ see me a little message. I'd
love to know of any other people you think would
be great to get on for Slow It Down. Thank
you so much for joining me for my first episode.
I really appreciate it, and I'll see you next week.
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Dateline NBC
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