October 18, 2025 • 36 mins
Many parents wrestle with the balance of keeping their kids involved with extracurriculars, while also teaching them the value of rest in a world that prioritises the daily hustle.
We're signing them up to every opportunity possible to help them develop as people, but are our kids just too busy?
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
You're listening to the Weekend Collective podcast from News Talks EDB.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
I've got your nu lass around num you know, lass about.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
That again.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
And welcome back to the Weekend Collective. I'm Tim Beverage.
Welcome in or welcome back to the Weekend Collective. Uh,
and don't forget what the sports rap shortly before six
with Kobe Murati's are going to be with us. But
right now this is the Parent Squad where we cover
all things parenting and we want you to join us
with your comments, thoughts and experience, you know, eighty text
(01:01):
two And what we're going to kick off with is
I think everyone will have seen this, whether you be
a grandparent who look at.
Speaker 4 (01:08):
Kids and go, gosh, they're so busy.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
And I think a lot of parents wrestle with that
balance of keeping kids involved with extracurriculars because actually, let's
be honest, there are so many more options I think
kids have generally in what they can do in addition
to schoolwork, and so they've got great opportunities. But you know,
then again, you might also have kids busy with this
(01:31):
and that simply because two parents are working and you've
got to keep them busy. We've got our kids signed
up to music lessons, school, sports, languages, they might be
doing a bit of tutoring ballet dance. But what's the
balance and how do you actually get it right? How
do you define that line between rest and you know,
laziness and being you know this is barking mad.
Speaker 4 (01:52):
You're way too busy.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
So we want your thoughts on eight hundred and eighty
ten eighty in text on nine two nine two, and
joining me is she is the founder of the Young
and Healthy Charitable Trust. And her name is Kim Harvey.
And I did say to you off, I thought she's
going out tonight, which I thought she'd made an effort
for me, because she looks very looks she looks fantastic,
(02:13):
as you always do. But anyway, I just sort of
a clumsy way of saying, Hi, Kim, how do you go?
I'm good?
Speaker 3 (02:18):
Thank you, love with you, thank you for having me, well.
Speaker 4 (02:21):
Thank you for joining us. Here's a hot take, our
kids too busy these days?
Speaker 3 (02:27):
Well, I think it's it's really contextual and it depends
on what they love to do and what your family
does and all of that stuff, you know, like it's
very much a family by family thing. I think. I
think there's a lot more As you said, there's a
lot more options, a lot more choices for kids these days,
and a lot more things that they can do, So
the opportunity is there.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
It's an interesting one because our kids are it's always
a must have made. I always have this sort of
stumble between what I should share about what my girls
are doing. But they chose, they've chosen what they're doing,
and I think they're old enough to make those decisions.
And we even said this term, look, if this is
too much, we're going to review it next year. So,
for instance, one of them is doing she's got she's
(03:09):
doing dance ballet today for a few hours because they've
got the end of Years show coming up, and that's.
Speaker 4 (03:14):
All very exciting.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Then after school there is there's a couple of afternoons
with dance, and then there's she's doing sport climbing because
she likes doing sport climbing, and she's doing summer hockey,
and she's doing one other thing. There's one other thing
and I forgot what it is because it's so much
I can't even remember.
Speaker 4 (03:33):
And she seems she seems quite happy.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
Yeah, well, I think That's the main thing, isn't it
is that if you're monitoring them and you're you know,
you check in with them. I mean there might be
times when she doesn't feel like she wants to do
all of that, and there might be a practice that
gets forgone or something.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
It's like maybe maybe there's something where it gives and
it's that balance of you know, is she is she
getting a good night's sleep, and is she eating well?
And is she well hydrated and you know, the real
basic stuff that we kind of forget about.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Tina just can be grumpy as well. So that's not
necessarily a sign that they're over committed. It's just might
be a sign that they're a teenager.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
No, I still think it is because I think about Sasha,
who I think is she's thirteen, So she's the same
age as your oldest I think, isn't she? Yeah, So
you know if she hasn't like in the morning, she'll
get up, she needs something. She needs food as soon
as she wakes up. So if I get something into
a straight away, the way we start the day is
wholly different. It can either be like oh my god,
(04:30):
screaming and shouting and losing it, or it can be
or it can be calm and quiet and peaceful. So
it's all about, you know again, context of every single
day really.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Because it is also actually so what are you your
I'm going to take hints from you. So your thing
is that you make sure whatever happens in the morning,
I'm getting some food into her straight away.
Speaker 4 (04:52):
Is that is it?
Speaker 3 (04:53):
Well, we have a thing. It's marcha. She she will
have a drink of march Or in the morning, and
that she it's fair I think has potentially ADHD and
it really helps her just kind of get herself started.
And she if she can get herself started in the morning.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
It's green, yeah, is it a green greeny tea sort
of extract which is it's.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
A tiny bit of caffeine in it, and that just
helps her doesn't to regulate, and it helps her to
get herself. So if she's organized herself in the morning,
if I tell her what to do or you know,
and I get that she doesn't want to hear. She
knows what to do. She just needs a little bit
of help with something like that. So or if it's food,
if I can get food, and then that's the way
so I guess, you know, it's knowing our children and
(05:32):
knowing what they need and knowing how to keep the
day off as best possible. And then generally everything sort
of goes from that.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Because I guess there is the thing about them having
some agency and choosing what they want to do, but
also your job as a parent is to help them
with that, and I find that that's I did find
that a bit of a I find that a bit
tricky because I want them to do what they're passionate about,
and I do have a couple of reservations about they've got,
(05:59):
you know, some busy times and my god, I mean
I wish I had an electric car because.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
The picture on the picture and Auckland and the time
hours in the car.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Yeah, but it's it's a difficult one, isn't it. Depending
on age? Obviously, if your child is primary school age,
you are gauging from them what their interests are, and
then you're making the call more I guess.
Speaker 4 (06:21):
Aren't you.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
Yeah, I think a lot. I mean, i'd be really
interesting to hear what other people say. But we have
one who, you know, we really do have to kind
of we had to sort of strong arm into trying things,
and another who really wants to try all sorts of
different things. So I think, again it depends, and I
found that forcing someone to do something isn't necessarily the greatest,
doesn't necessarily have their long term outcome. So it's really
(06:45):
just trying to find something that's fun that you can
even that you do together.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Do you remember what you by example, do you remember
what you did as a as a as a teenager,
because it wouldn't have been that long ago.
Speaker 4 (06:53):
I don't imagine.
Speaker 3 (06:55):
No, It's my birthday on Tuesday, so.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
It was a long birthday, had Sandy Hodge. I had
mine the other day. I think that Tyra's had hers recently,
haven't you. Let's pretend it was as.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Recently fabulous Librians.
Speaker 4 (07:07):
Yes, but do you remember I.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
Was definitely not that as busy. I remember I played netball,
I played tennis, and I worked. My mum and dad
had had a business and I worked for them on
the weekends. You know, like I was busy, so but
not really because a lot of it was you know,
it wasn't as busy to get places either, you know.
I think there's those sorts of things where you live
in bigger busier cities and the transition times. You know,
(07:34):
there's all of that stuff that comes into how the
busyness of us as families and and that impact on
all of us. So you know, it's just monitoring how
the kids are going with that, I think is the
most important thing.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Because I was thinking if I had more than two daughters,
if I had three or four and they're all at school,
I think I'd be do it. I think they have
to do the same sports.
Speaker 3 (07:55):
I have friends who have three and they are teenagers now,
and they are up early in the morning because the
girls do sport early in the morning, so that up early,
and then they're you know, often on the most weekends
and it's really full on and you know in a
city like this where it's it's busy and it takes
that time to get around.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
So yeah, I'm just thinking when I look back to
we'd love your calls on this, by the way, do
you think and it's easy to I mean, I know
that's always tempting for the older generation. Look at the hour,
they're way too busy. They just need a couple of
things to keep the matter mischief or But if you
look back to your when you were younger as well.
How much you did now, because when I was at school,
I did one sport, but yeah, thing and I don't
(08:36):
want to do the humble bread because we were in
national champs. But the reason but yeah, but the reason
we were was because I wasn't doing three or four sports.
I did one sport, but I lived and breathed it.
So I'd get to school early, I'd go to the gym,
do a bit of volleyball in the gym, lunchtime would
come around, be in the gym, and I was disappointed
if there wasn't practice schedule for after school from half
(08:58):
past three to five or five thirty. So we were busy, busy, busy, busy, busy,
but with fewer choices.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
Yeah, are you doing that with friends as well? Your
team with friends?
Speaker 4 (09:08):
Absolutely?
Speaker 2 (09:09):
I mean it was your It was was your source
of I don't know, it was a source of self
esteem almost. It was we loved the coach he was
he was a mentor and an inspiration and so I
was busy. But it was just that one thing and
we're at school.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
Doing it as well. So you went, I can't set
the transition of from one thing to another where you're
having to go from one place to another as well,
that you know, can potentially layer on the sort of
stress that can come with doing lots of stuff. But again,
arguably now you know, the recommendation is that kids do
do lots of things, so they do try sports because
it's it's good not if you are very good at something,
(09:46):
it's good not to specialize so early as well, So
you know, it's it is really about finding a balance
and making sure that I guess, the scaffolding, it's quite
a good idea, quite a good word. The scaffolding is
there to ensure that we're all coping okay with whatever
that business looks like, and there are times to rest,
you know, because.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
That's that is actually a massive part of it is
literally if your kids are going to be busy, how
do you support them? Yeah, so they're not knackering themselves.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
Yeah, and you're not also because at the end of
the day, you know, we've also we can't keep doing
what we're doing if we're we're completely worn out because
we're working, we're shuffling them around, and we're you know,
all the other things that go into running a family
and living.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Do you remember how much time you spent doing netball practicing.
Were you a bit like me that you did one
sport but you flogged it to death?
Speaker 4 (10:33):
I don't mean flogged it.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
I wasn't in a very good team, Like I wasn't
a great player, so I don't think we really practiced
a lot. But we probably had a practice every you know,
every week, and play the game every week. I loved it,
and I still love netball, you know, so it probably
wasn't as much as if I had been in the
A team.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Put it that way, Okay, we'd love to hear from
you about whether you think kids are over committed or
not all. But and if you're a parent of a
child who's busy, had what's what's your rule about it?
Because I find that they come often. The opportunities you
have as a parent on the sideline is to compare
notes on things. And I don't know a single parent
(11:11):
who's I wouldn't say, gosh, you're busy at the moment
they're like, oh my goodness, yeah, I'm just so flat out.
So we'd love your calls on it. Eight hundred and eighty,
ten eighty. There's this angle from one of the texts.
Rich says, look tim, anything that keeps the kids off
gaming and social media is the right balance. But yes,
good point. But I would like to think that it's
(11:33):
not an either or either, is it you reckon?
Speaker 3 (11:36):
Yeah? I think I would definitely have these I definitely
have these conversations with friends who are parents, you know,
other parents as well, which is we make sure that
we're really busy to ensure that we're spending less time
on devices. But again, you know, that might be a
balance of there might be some sport that you're playing,
but you might also do other things as a family,
like go to the out gallery or go to the
domain and you know, throw a frisbee around and go
(11:58):
and have a picnic, or go to the beach or so,
you know, you might do things to have that outcome,
which I totally understand, and I, you know understand I
have teenagers too who want to.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
How many how many kids? If you've got remind me Aghan,
who got two?
Speaker 4 (12:11):
Yeah? Excellent.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
Look, I don't know why I said excellent, It's like
I approve, Oh good, you got that the right number.
Well done. Anyway, we'd love your calls on this as well.
Eight hundred eighty ten eighty about how do you manage
your kids.
Speaker 4 (12:24):
I shouldn't say kids all the time. Your children.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
How should you manage their extracurricular stuff, the sports, the music,
the dance, the whatever they are doing. Do you let
them make their own choices on that and learn by
experience or do you try and sort of measure it
for them by being the responsible parent and saying do
you really think you should be doing that? And then
they say I really want your dad? And then you
cave h eight hundred eighty ten eighty is the number.
(12:50):
We'd love your thoughts on this as well. We're with
Kim Harvey. She is the founder of the Young and
Healthy Charitable Trust, and she's with us Parents Squad. We'll
be back in just a moment. Nineteen and a half past.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
Five, The Margin of Even Good Mine and Change my Name.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
Striving.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Girls, Game and the Drugs, Last Day Skinny.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Clues. Welcome back to the Parents Squad. I'm Tim Beverage.
My guest is Kim Harvey. She's founder of the Young
and Healthy Charitable Trust. We're talking about our kids, you know,
not all kids, obviously, but is there a danger in
children being too busy and especially at this time of year?
Speaker 4 (13:39):
And how do you manage it actually, Kim.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
But before we get carry on though, just remind us
about the Young and Healthy Charitable Trust and the work
you guys do.
Speaker 3 (13:47):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely, and well we've got the Zebra Young
and Healthy Virtually Venture running at the moment. It's a
really fun five week sort of program that runs in schools.
It's digital, so there's a little bit of time spent
on devices, but i'd say a couple of minutes a day.
The key point is that we're getting them doing stuff
in the real world that really helps with someone thinks
we're talking about that's about balancing their health and their
(14:08):
well being and drinking lots of water and moving when
they can and having a good night sleep, spending their
time and devices. So it's really you know, part of
what we're talking about now with them being able to
recognize when they might need to.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
Do that, because the other side of it is, you know,
we can talk about where their kids are too busy,
and look, I think if your if your teenager is
into a whole bunch of things, then great, probably unless
they're nackering themselves. But on the other side of things,
there are people, there are kids who you know you
want to try and get them off the couch or
(14:40):
out of their room or whatever who are not doing much.
And I mean that's probably the bigger worry to parents,
isn't it about how do you get your children interested
in anything other than the compulsory being at school, which
sometimes is a challenge.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
Yeah, yeah, and I agree. I think again it's probably
getting alongside them and doing things with them if you can.
I know, again that can be challenging depending on the
age and things, but yeah, that is the biggest, the
biggest challenge. I we have a dog, and that's really helpful.
We make sure that, you know, the dog has to
be walked twice a day, and so if it's after school,
(15:15):
then it's you know, now it's in the evening or something.
And that's a really good way because I think, you know,
movement's really important for our learning, it's really important for
us to have at good night's sleep, it's really important
for our mental well being obviously, all of those things.
So even a little bit is really helpful. So even
if you struggle to get them, you know, like might
go for an hour and walk the dog. But if
(15:36):
that's a struggle, then five minutes or five of something.
You know, I talk about take five, so it's five
star jumps or five walk to the letterbox.
Speaker 4 (15:44):
And back or who is your five star jumps?
Speaker 3 (15:46):
Well, all of us, because we're role modeling the behavior
that we want to see.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Tim I think if I went down to a star jump,
oh that's not a burpee.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
I'm not to start simple, right, just I always used to.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
Think that burpies looked so fun and easy, and then
when they become part of an exercise regime, you realize.
Speaker 4 (16:04):
Actually, that's right.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
You know, when you're really young, just getting down and
going buoying up and there.
Speaker 4 (16:10):
It seems so easy.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
Then you get a bit older and you go these
things a hell on earth. Somebody's texts, and I think
we should acknowledge that somebody's said, look, these are well
I don't think. I don't quite agree with the way
they've put it. They said they're white, rich problems. How
many I don't think you need to add color into there.
By the way, how many poor families with both parents
working can do dance in five of their activities.
Speaker 4 (16:30):
And that is a challenge, isn't it.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
I realized that, I mean, both my wife and I work,
but I do weird hours, which maybe while it's tough
with the shift work, the benefit that when I'm doing
my overnights is I'm still I'm awake in time in
the afternoons to do things them and that is I
guess one of the challenges for But I'm not sure
(16:52):
it's an excuse for not being doing stuff after school
because I went to a Deco one high school. Yeah,
and that's why. Probably the reason some of my teammates
were at sports was because they love it for no
other reason that they loved it, and that was what
they focused their attention on.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
Yeah, there was the teamwork and the camaraderie.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
And so I'm not sure what to do with that
text because I'm not sure. I think every family can
have challenges. In fact, forget the money, it's simply a
question of whether both parents are working and the number
of I mean, I look at one of the sports
one of my daughters involved, and I'm helping organize the team.
But you can see the challenges that parents have simply
(17:31):
getting people to and from.
Speaker 4 (17:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
In fact, I have to share with you I made
a terrible boo boo. It's from one of my daughter,
One of my daughters in a volleyball team and I
volunteered to manage it and I misread the draw and.
Speaker 4 (17:46):
I had.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Normally it's a you know, you can catch a bus
or a few minute bus or a car ride, and
I'd accidentally put the wrong destination and as being a
high score, that was a very long way away because
I'd read the wrong draw. And I only found out
when I got in touch with the school and said,
is there any way the school has a van can
and she said why, You're only going down the road
and I.
Speaker 4 (18:07):
Was like, oh my god.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
And I mattered, But this is where I learned how
a reminder of how difficult it was with the number
of parents who were just going can anyone help me
with this?
Speaker 3 (18:19):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (18:20):
And the amount of coordination it takes.
Speaker 3 (18:22):
Yeah, yeah, I think so. And look, I think there's
a lot of work being done in schools to help
bridge gaps where children don't necessarily have that access to
sports and things, and so there's a lot more being
done by Sport New Zealand and the regional Sports trusts
and various others to ensure that everybody has as much
access as possible. Some of the parks and playgrounds that
(18:43):
are being created around New Zealand are incredible as well.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
So you know, and look, yes, some of the decisions
we made around sports were what was affordable, because I
don't mind saying I said to the girls, there's no
way we're doing rowing because we can't add that to
our budget. And that's just a fact of life. But
it doesn't mean you do nothing. You find something else
to do. Here's a text here that says, I think
(19:07):
I think children sort themselves out. I remember ten year
old daughter was asked to join a swim squad. She
put her hand on it hap and said, well, well,
I do gymnastics Monday, Wednesday, Friday, guides Monday, netball Tuesday
and Saturday. So I don't think I want to sport.
Teachers kids resilience winning and losing responsibility and so on.
(19:31):
Activities keep them from getting bored and resorting to games
and wondering mores, et cetera.
Speaker 4 (19:35):
Well that was a very assertive ten year old to
work that out. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
Absolutely, yeah, and definitely I think, you know, if you
can be led by your children and what they want
to do, Like you've said about yours, they want to
do these things and it's just about finding a way,
and as you say, sometimes budget doesn't allow, someone's time
doesn't allow. So it's really about finding out, you know,
what they love and what they want to do, and
that maybe guitar lessons, or it might be you know,
(19:58):
or something else. I think it doesn't have to be
sport necessarily, That's right, you know, there's so many other things,
although I guess.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
I'd see I want my in fact ones really involved
in the sport and the other not so much. But
she's still involved in something physical, and I think I
would be worried if.
Speaker 4 (20:17):
Would I be worried?
Speaker 2 (20:19):
I want them to be doing something at school age
where there's physical activity involved, rather than just relying on
PE classes once or twice a week.
Speaker 4 (20:26):
How do you how would you go about if.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
You were struggling, if parents were struggling to get there,
could their child motivated to do something like that?
Speaker 3 (20:35):
I would again, I'd say what are you doing with them?
And what do you do yourself? Because I think you
know they do. They don't listen to what we say,
they watch what we do, and if we aren't, if
we're trying to ask them to do something that we're
not prepared to do, then obviously it makes it much
more challenging. I also think if you make it fun,
you know, I mean I go on to schools and
we just have so much fun with you know, primary
(20:55):
and intermediate age children. We get pool noodles now they
are two dollars from the warehouse. We do stuff without anything.
We play rock paper scissors in a whole one hundred
different ways outside inside, you know, running around, tag involved.
You know, there's lots of things that you can do.
But I think our kids love when we do stuff
with them, so and it doesn't have to be a
lot of time. You know, a small amount of activity
(21:18):
has an incredible impact on all the things I mentioned before,
so our ability to learn, our ability to remember things,
remember the learning that we've done, our ability to sleep.
And again it diverts us away from wanting to use
those devices and do something else.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
So yeah, I tend to think that that's probably I mean,
I was almost wanting to push back against that text
that said so long as they're not on devices, But
I mean that is I mean, that must be. That's
a huge motivation for a lot of parents, really, isn't
it just to try and get them off their devices?
Speaker 3 (21:46):
Yeah? And again it's challenging, but we also have the opportunity,
you know, we're the parents, and we need to be
able to take it off them if we have to,
or shut down the Internet or you know those kinds
of things. So and also again, how much time are
we spending on ours? I know my kids will say
to me sometimes, Mum, you've been on your phone for
too long.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
Actually that is a difficult one though, because, for instance,
the cliche of dad reading the newspaper, Well, I don't
read the newspaper. I'm on the phone, but I'm actually
not swiping and liking Instagram posts.
Speaker 4 (22:19):
I'm literally reading.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
And I tell them that, I say, here it is,
here's that, here's the Herald. I'm reading that right now.
But so much of what we do is on our phones, so.
Speaker 3 (22:30):
That is a different work on my phone. I can
say the same thing to my now, I'm like, but
I'm working. Doesn't matter if especially if they're in the
environment that you're in and they do want your presence,
you know, they do want your attention, then it's important
that if we can maybe we just need to go
somewhere else. If we need to use it for a work,
you know, it's sort of again setting those boundaries. I
think we're all getting much more aware of that and
(22:52):
trying to be more disciplined around that as well, because
there's a lot of talk about it and you know,
social media issues and all those things. So I feel
like there's this growing consciousness of, you know, we need
to put it down ourselves.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
I've got a text message here somebody's saying, really struggling
with what extra curriculars to get my severely autistic son into.
Speaker 4 (23:14):
Any suggestions and I'm.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
Not sure in terms of expertise and stuff like that,
but what do you have any I'm not sure I
can Well, I'm not a parent of expert, but there
would be there must be agencies or advice you could
get to through.
Speaker 3 (23:31):
I would imagine, so maybe through places like Health New
Zealand might have sort of a starting point in my point,
you in the right direction of where you could go.
I really I don't know.
Speaker 4 (23:41):
Yeah, I just sawt we throw that one and there
just say if we can help with it.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
I'm sorry, we can't really help with that, but I might.
Speaker 4 (23:45):
Do a bit of a Google while we're yeah, while
we're taking over.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
By the way, the other thing, I always always want
to give a shout out to I never did it
when I was a kid. One of my daughters is
during the Duke of Edinburgh, and I've got to say
that the Duke of Edinburgh himself may have been a
bit of an old curmudgeon and a bit of a character,
but I tell you what he the impact I look
at just the difference it's made with my daughter doing
(24:09):
it and confidence with the with the activities she's doing.
Is that if you ever get if you do have
the chance to get involved with a program like that,
I mean, I don't know if you've had any involved
with the absolutely absolutely brilliant. Anyway, we'd love to take
your calls on this as well, if you want to
join the conversation about getting your children into extracurricular activities.
(24:29):
How much is too much? How much is too little?
But how have you approached it as a parent when
it comes to them making their own decisions? Give us
a call on eight hundred eighty ten eighty in text
on nine to nine two. It's twenty six minutes to
Sex News Talks.
Speaker 4 (24:43):
They'd be.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
Where have ever done to see.
Speaker 4 (24:53):
Jennie love.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
Jennie Gen there's a love moment, Yes, Welcome back to
the Weekend Collective. I'm Tim Beveridge and my guest is
(25:19):
Kim Harvey. She's the founder of the Young and Healthy
Charitable Trust. We're talking about are our kids too busy
or not busy enough? And how do you manage it
or do you let them manage it themselves. By the way,
I mentioned the Duke of Edinburgh, the Duke of Edinburgh Awards,
that's the one and just before the breakings and Angelo's
texted and saying, Juke of ed is great. Some beautiful tramps.
(25:41):
My daughter just finished gold. I wish it was offered
at every secondary school. Amazing teachers you've taken on these tramps.
And seriously, if you have the opportunity to get your
children involved in the Duke of Edinburgh, they could choose
a variety of things. And that one of my daughters
he's doing it is doing sport climbing as one of
her things, and also cooking. But actually, just from the
(26:01):
household point of view, the cooking has been fantastic because
all of a sudden I can.
Speaker 4 (26:04):
Just say, hey, can you look after this?
Speaker 2 (26:06):
It's tring to do things, but just in terms of
the confidence and being involved one hundred percent would be
my recommendation. But Kim, I think that probably the thing
we could chat about to for the last part of
the show is the signs. How would you work out
that your kids are too busy? Because it might not
(26:26):
be a case of looking if I'm looking at my
calendar now, I open it up and I can see,
you know, the calendar market as to what they've got,
and I think, oh god, that looks.
Speaker 4 (26:34):
Like a lot.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
But then again, they might be coping absolutely fine. Have
you had to sort of looked at your children's activities
and go on, oh, I think we need to dial
it back a.
Speaker 4 (26:43):
Bit on you.
Speaker 3 (26:49):
No, we haven't probably had that problem, but I do
have friends, very close friends who do. And I think,
as I said earlier, you know, I think it's it's
not just looking at them, but it's also looking at
the family as a whole, because you've got a function
effectively altogether. But yeah, one of some of the signs
of maybe our children are doing too much well. Obviously
the big one we just talked about was grumpiness. Is
(27:11):
you know, when they are awake, are they are they
really grumpy?
Speaker 2 (27:14):
But see at the end of the day, I mean,
was I grumpy as a teenager, I'm sure. Yeah, I'm
sure I got grumpy, but it wasn't but I'm not
sure if it was because I was overcooked, it was
just because I probably had I don't know, all sorts
of hormones raging around. Same with teenage girls as well,
and yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:30):
There's definitely that, but I think it's also in a
contextual way if they're you know that they're you know,
they've got that sort of thing going on, but maybe
there'sn't there's the extra grumpy or they're just struggling to
wake up in the morning, or you know those kinds
of things. Are they wanting to eat all the time,
which is, you know, eat especially the sort of snacky
foods because they they boost our energy really quickly. So
(27:52):
that's a real sign for me. Sometimes you know, we
get pretzels to go in the lunch boxes but they've
gone overnight, or because they're just hungry and they're just
burning through those that that food can be an example
of them feeling really tired and just needing that quick
heat of energy.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
So I think for me with one of my daughters,
I mean, again I don't specify which daughter I guess
which is my defense, but what the other I was
worried whether she's getting enough sleep. And then one morning
she just woke up and said, gosh, it's such a
good sleep. And I woke up before my alarm and
she was right into the day, and I thought, Okay,
I was worrying for nothing. But it would be when
when they're clinging to get the teenagers, I mean teenage boys.
(28:28):
I mean, god, that's sleep how many hours a day?
They said, well, I don't have teaching teenage boys, But
you know, I was from a family of boys, and
one of my brothers was legendary for just the ability
to sleep. Yeah, And I don't know at what point
you sort of think it's time to get up, but
whether they're sort of self regulating that respect.
Speaker 3 (28:48):
Yeah, again, you'll you know, you'll get to know, won't you.
I remember my dad used said to me. I'd be
reading in bed on the weekend. Sometimes he'd be like,
it's time to get up, and I'm like, well, I'm
just reading. You know, it was just that quiet time.
So I know that. You know, my kids find bright
lights and lots of noise and all the stuff that
goes on. It's all quite tiring, and so they come
home and they're like, they just need sort of half
(29:10):
an hour to an hour of just downtime.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
I mean, that's how much time off do you think
kids do need in the way just to unpack? Because
is it enough that they get maybe half an hour
an hour at some stage each day where they're just
chilling out and unwinding, Because that doesn't sound like much of.
Speaker 3 (29:27):
A break to may, No, it doesn't, does it. But
it probably depends. I mean, do they get bored? Boredom
is great, you know, it's it's really actually really good
for us to let our children get bored because that's
when creativity happens. And you know, just allowing your brain
that time where you're not actually either on a device
of some kind or feeding more information into it is
(29:48):
really important. So you look again in context, but at
least half an hour to an hour, I would say
would be good.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
It would be the signs you what would be the
signs you'd be worried about your kids are either not
doing enough or doing too much for you, Because for me,
I think it would.
Speaker 4 (30:06):
I actually don't know, because that's me.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
I need to probably give a bit of the thought to,
but I think, of course they're doing so much, I'm
not worried about them being lazy. So I actually don't
know how I'd finally picked that up. I guess because
they haven't had the experience of suddenly thinking maybe if
I come to this in a few weeks time, I'll
be like, Okay, we found out.
Speaker 4 (30:25):
But I mean, what.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
Would the signs be for you, for instance, that they're
not doing enough.
Speaker 3 (30:32):
Probably a bit of that lethargy, being a bit unmotivated,
maybe just not seeming themselves. Hours in their room is
not good for anyone, obviously. You know, when need light
helps us to regulate our circadian rhythm, so we get
good sleep and those things. So you know, spending too
long in bed in the weekends, we do need them
(30:53):
to get up and get some light. So if they're
doing that kind of thing, then I think, you know,
if they're not interacting with their friends, potentially some of
those things would be signs.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
You've been through the exam side of things. I can't
remember how old do you said?
Speaker 4 (31:04):
You're kids?
Speaker 3 (31:05):
Fifteen? So yeah, he's just.
Speaker 4 (31:08):
Is he just hitting hitting these now?
Speaker 2 (31:10):
How's is that a new thing for you in your household?
Speaker 3 (31:14):
Not really, not really. We've he's been doing sort of
tests of some kind from about year six in terms
of external type tests that he does, so he's kind
of got a rhythm going of what to do and
how to do it. But you know, it has a
challenge when it's a new a new thing.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
Because somebody who's texting and saying that it's not just
about activities, it's also whether they're helping up with chores
at home. But how in a minute, I sort of
think it's it's almost like some teenagers modus operandi that
they resist doing that, and I wouldn't see them as
being down or lazy, and I just see them as
not wanting.
Speaker 3 (31:49):
To do not wanting to do what you've asked them.
Speaker 4 (31:50):
To do, which is kind of frustrating.
Speaker 2 (31:52):
Yeah, yeah, and is that.
Speaker 3 (31:54):
And there's the science around that that says you've got
to ask them three, four, five, ten, twenty times before
they'll do it, and you've got to do it again,
and then the next weekend when it comes to cleaning
the toilet or the bedroom or you're still going to
do another twenty times. So it's it's maybe also expectations
around what they should do and how many times we
should asten to do it.
Speaker 2 (32:14):
And I guess the other thing is you've also got
to teach them how to look after themselves in that respect.
I mean, that's the thing that's to me A lot
of these parents parenting questions are about that. You know,
when they're when they're in the single digit years, you're
making all of those decisions to them with a little
bit of their enthusiasm. Why I don't like doing that
much more?
Speaker 4 (32:31):
Dad? And then you do that.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
But as they get older, you know they've got to
You've just got to keep keep tabs on them with that.
I think that's one of the hardest. One of the
hardest journeys for parents is that journey when the children
start working out, not children, young people, when they start
working out for themselves. I think that's probably the biggest
journey for any mum or dad is to go take
your foot off the accelerator and go, well, actually, I
(32:54):
think you need to make that call for yourself and
we'll see how it goes.
Speaker 3 (32:57):
Yeah, yeah, it certainly.
Speaker 2 (32:59):
Is, which is probably the case with our ones when
it comes up to doing doing exams and all that
sort of stuff. So what's what's what's keeping you visit
the young unhealthy childable trust at the moment?
Speaker 1 (33:08):
Is it?
Speaker 3 (33:09):
The virtual adventure is running at the moment? So we're
in week starting in week three, so we're five weeks
and we're sort of in the middle. I guess next week.
Speaker 4 (33:16):
And what's the virtual adventure again?
Speaker 3 (33:18):
So it's it's a race around the world. So as
a class, the kids get active in the real world.
They drink water or they eat fruit and veggies, get
a good night's sleep, spend this time on devices, get
out and vitamin in which is nature, those things that
they can choose to do themselves that will help them
with their learning and their just their health and well
being overall. And this takes them on this virtual adventure
(33:39):
and they race around the world and it's whole bunch
of fun.
Speaker 4 (33:42):
How did it get started? Was this?
Speaker 1 (33:45):
It was me?
Speaker 2 (33:45):
It was you?
Speaker 1 (33:46):
It was me?
Speaker 3 (33:47):
Yeah, yeah, it was great. It's great. It started a
long time ago with a very hands on type program,
and I thought, how can I scale this?
Speaker 4 (33:55):
What made you want to do it?
Speaker 1 (33:57):
Well, I've been.
Speaker 3 (33:57):
Involved in the fitness industry for a long time and
it was just I just thought, learning about how our
body works and what we can do to flauence it,
and it's just incredible. And I thought, I work with adults,
and adults struggled to find those little things that they
could do, like drinking water for example. Sometimes they found
that challenging to just change those behaviors that would have
such a big impact. So I thought, what if I
(34:19):
work with kids, what can we do if we start
to try and embed those habits from a really young age,
like brushing your teeth, you know, very similar And it
kind of all started from there.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
So how do you think our activities just generally, I
mean on the Young and Healthy dot org dot za. Yeah,
obviously it looks to me like your motivation was because
basically our kids are not active enough. How are we
going on that? Do you think now so we are
to worry about over committing kids.
Speaker 3 (34:47):
Yeah, I think there's a huge amount being done in
the space and it's getting better and better in terms
of you know, access to activity and activity. I mean
at school, the kids are doing more I think, which
is good because they're there a lot of the time,
but you know a little bit of activity really helps
them to learn. So it's really important that they are
(35:07):
you know, stopping every forty five minutes or something and
taking a few minutes to move their bodies because it
actually helps their brain to actually embed what they've just learned.
Speaker 4 (35:16):
What if?
Speaker 2 (35:16):
What if you found to be the biggest barriers in
terms of just getting kids active.
Speaker 3 (35:20):
Well, I think this is the distractions. So obviously, you know,
in more recent ars, technology has become one of those things.
And then there's time and you know, as I say,
there are lots of things that people can do that
don't cost any money, but we tend to look at
kids doing sport as an activity instead of looking at
getting them to the park or the playground or on
(35:42):
their skateboards or if they can do that or something.
Speaker 4 (35:45):
You know, put down that flipping phone. Yeah, good stuff,
Hey lovely, you see you.
Speaker 2 (35:49):
Yeah, you take so much for coming giving me. We'll
look forward to next time and we'll be back to
wrap sport in just a moment. This is News Talk,
Said b. It is eleven minutes to six.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
For more from the weekend collective, listen live to News
Talks Said Be weekends from three pm, or follow the
podcast on iHeartRadio.
You're listening to the Weekend Collective podcast from News Talks EDB.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
I've got your nu lass around num you know, lass about.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
That again.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
And welcome back to the Weekend Collective. I'm Tim Beverage.
Welcome in or welcome back to the Weekend Collective. Uh,
and don't forget what the sports rap shortly before six
with Kobe Murati's are going to be with us. But
right now this is the Parent Squad where we cover
all things parenting and we want you to join us
with your comments, thoughts and experience, you know, eighty text
(01:01):
two And what we're going to kick off with is
I think everyone will have seen this, whether you be
a grandparent who look at.
Speaker 4 (01:08):
Kids and go, gosh, they're so busy.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
And I think a lot of parents wrestle with that
balance of keeping kids involved with extracurriculars because actually, let's
be honest, there are so many more options I think
kids have generally in what they can do in addition
to schoolwork, and so they've got great opportunities. But you know,
then again, you might also have kids busy with this
(01:31):
and that simply because two parents are working and you've
got to keep them busy. We've got our kids signed
up to music lessons, school, sports, languages, they might be
doing a bit of tutoring ballet dance. But what's the
balance and how do you actually get it right? How
do you define that line between rest and you know,
laziness and being you know this is barking mad.
Speaker 4 (01:52):
You're way too busy.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
So we want your thoughts on eight hundred and eighty
ten eighty in text on nine two nine two, and
joining me is she is the founder of the Young
and Healthy Charitable Trust. And her name is Kim Harvey.
And I did say to you off, I thought she's
going out tonight, which I thought she'd made an effort
for me, because she looks very looks she looks fantastic,
(02:13):
as you always do. But anyway, I just sort of
a clumsy way of saying, Hi, Kim, how do you go?
I'm good?
Speaker 3 (02:18):
Thank you, love with you, thank you for having me, well.
Speaker 4 (02:21):
Thank you for joining us. Here's a hot take, our
kids too busy these days?
Speaker 3 (02:27):
Well, I think it's it's really contextual and it depends
on what they love to do and what your family
does and all of that stuff, you know, like it's
very much a family by family thing. I think. I
think there's a lot more As you said, there's a
lot more options, a lot more choices for kids these days,
and a lot more things that they can do, So
the opportunity is there.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
It's an interesting one because our kids are it's always
a must have made. I always have this sort of
stumble between what I should share about what my girls
are doing. But they chose, they've chosen what they're doing,
and I think they're old enough to make those decisions.
And we even said this term, look, if this is
too much, we're going to review it next year. So,
for instance, one of them is doing she's got she's
(03:09):
doing dance ballet today for a few hours because they've
got the end of Years show coming up, and that's.
Speaker 4 (03:14):
All very exciting.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Then after school there is there's a couple of afternoons
with dance, and then there's she's doing sport climbing because
she likes doing sport climbing, and she's doing summer hockey,
and she's doing one other thing. There's one other thing
and I forgot what it is because it's so much
I can't even remember.
Speaker 4 (03:33):
And she seems she seems quite happy.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
Yeah, well, I think That's the main thing, isn't it
is that if you're monitoring them and you're you know,
you check in with them. I mean there might be
times when she doesn't feel like she wants to do
all of that, and there might be a practice that
gets forgone or something.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
It's like maybe maybe there's something where it gives and
it's that balance of you know, is she is she
getting a good night's sleep, and is she eating well?
And is she well hydrated and you know, the real
basic stuff that we kind of forget about.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Tina just can be grumpy as well. So that's not
necessarily a sign that they're over committed. It's just might
be a sign that they're a teenager.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
No, I still think it is because I think about Sasha,
who I think is she's thirteen, So she's the same
age as your oldest I think, isn't she? Yeah, So
you know if she hasn't like in the morning, she'll
get up, she needs something. She needs food as soon
as she wakes up. So if I get something into
a straight away, the way we start the day is
wholly different. It can either be like oh my god,
(04:30):
screaming and shouting and losing it, or it can be
or it can be calm and quiet and peaceful. So
it's all about, you know again, context of every single
day really.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Because it is also actually so what are you your
I'm going to take hints from you. So your thing
is that you make sure whatever happens in the morning,
I'm getting some food into her straight away.
Speaker 4 (04:52):
Is that is it?
Speaker 3 (04:53):
Well, we have a thing. It's marcha. She she will
have a drink of march Or in the morning, and
that she it's fair I think has potentially ADHD and
it really helps her just kind of get herself started.
And she if she can get herself started in the morning.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
It's green, yeah, is it a green greeny tea sort
of extract which is it's.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
A tiny bit of caffeine in it, and that just
helps her doesn't to regulate, and it helps her to
get herself. So if she's organized herself in the morning,
if I tell her what to do or you know,
and I get that she doesn't want to hear. She
knows what to do. She just needs a little bit
of help with something like that. So or if it's food,
if I can get food, and then that's the way
so I guess, you know, it's knowing our children and
(05:32):
knowing what they need and knowing how to keep the
day off as best possible. And then generally everything sort
of goes from that.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Because I guess there is the thing about them having
some agency and choosing what they want to do, but
also your job as a parent is to help them
with that, and I find that that's I did find
that a bit of a I find that a bit
tricky because I want them to do what they're passionate about,
and I do have a couple of reservations about they've got,
(05:59):
you know, some busy times and my god, I mean
I wish I had an electric car because.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
The picture on the picture and Auckland and the time
hours in the car.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Yeah, but it's it's a difficult one, isn't it. Depending
on age? Obviously, if your child is primary school age,
you are gauging from them what their interests are, and
then you're making the call more I guess.
Speaker 4 (06:21):
Aren't you.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
Yeah, I think a lot. I mean, i'd be really
interesting to hear what other people say. But we have
one who, you know, we really do have to kind
of we had to sort of strong arm into trying things,
and another who really wants to try all sorts of
different things. So I think, again it depends, and I
found that forcing someone to do something isn't necessarily the greatest,
doesn't necessarily have their long term outcome. So it's really
(06:45):
just trying to find something that's fun that you can
even that you do together.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Do you remember what you by example, do you remember
what you did as a as a as a teenager,
because it wouldn't have been that long ago.
Speaker 4 (06:53):
I don't imagine.
Speaker 3 (06:55):
No, It's my birthday on Tuesday, so.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
It was a long birthday, had Sandy Hodge. I had
mine the other day. I think that Tyra's had hers recently,
haven't you. Let's pretend it was as.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Recently fabulous Librians.
Speaker 4 (07:07):
Yes, but do you remember I.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
Was definitely not that as busy. I remember I played netball,
I played tennis, and I worked. My mum and dad
had had a business and I worked for them on
the weekends. You know, like I was busy, so but
not really because a lot of it was you know,
it wasn't as busy to get places either, you know.
I think there's those sorts of things where you live
in bigger busier cities and the transition times. You know,
(07:34):
there's all of that stuff that comes into how the
busyness of us as families and and that impact on
all of us. So you know, it's just monitoring how
the kids are going with that, I think is the
most important thing.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Because I was thinking if I had more than two daughters,
if I had three or four and they're all at school,
I think I'd be do it. I think they have
to do the same sports.
Speaker 3 (07:55):
I have friends who have three and they are teenagers now,
and they are up early in the morning because the
girls do sport early in the morning, so that up early,
and then they're you know, often on the most weekends
and it's really full on and you know in a
city like this where it's it's busy and it takes
that time to get around.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
So yeah, I'm just thinking when I look back to
we'd love your calls on this, by the way, do
you think and it's easy to I mean, I know
that's always tempting for the older generation. Look at the hour,
they're way too busy. They just need a couple of
things to keep the matter mischief or But if you
look back to your when you were younger as well.
How much you did now, because when I was at school,
I did one sport, but yeah, thing and I don't
(08:36):
want to do the humble bread because we were in
national champs. But the reason but yeah, but the reason
we were was because I wasn't doing three or four sports.
I did one sport, but I lived and breathed it.
So I'd get to school early, I'd go to the gym,
do a bit of volleyball in the gym, lunchtime would
come around, be in the gym, and I was disappointed
if there wasn't practice schedule for after school from half
(08:58):
past three to five or five thirty. So we were busy, busy, busy, busy, busy,
but with fewer choices.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
Yeah, are you doing that with friends as well? Your
team with friends?
Speaker 4 (09:08):
Absolutely?
Speaker 2 (09:09):
I mean it was your It was was your source
of I don't know, it was a source of self
esteem almost. It was we loved the coach he was
he was a mentor and an inspiration and so I
was busy. But it was just that one thing and
we're at school.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
Doing it as well. So you went, I can't set
the transition of from one thing to another where you're
having to go from one place to another as well,
that you know, can potentially layer on the sort of
stress that can come with doing lots of stuff. But again,
arguably now you know, the recommendation is that kids do
do lots of things, so they do try sports because
it's it's good not if you are very good at something,
(09:46):
it's good not to specialize so early as well, So
you know, it's it is really about finding a balance
and making sure that I guess, the scaffolding, it's quite
a good idea, quite a good word. The scaffolding is
there to ensure that we're all coping okay with whatever
that business looks like, and there are times to rest,
you know, because.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
That's that is actually a massive part of it is
literally if your kids are going to be busy, how
do you support them? Yeah, so they're not knackering themselves.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
Yeah, and you're not also because at the end of
the day, you know, we've also we can't keep doing
what we're doing if we're we're completely worn out because
we're working, we're shuffling them around, and we're you know,
all the other things that go into running a family
and living.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Do you remember how much time you spent doing netball practicing.
Were you a bit like me that you did one
sport but you flogged it to death?
Speaker 4 (10:33):
I don't mean flogged it.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
I wasn't in a very good team, Like I wasn't
a great player, so I don't think we really practiced
a lot. But we probably had a practice every you know,
every week, and play the game every week. I loved it,
and I still love netball, you know, so it probably
wasn't as much as if I had been in the
A team.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Put it that way, Okay, we'd love to hear from
you about whether you think kids are over committed or
not all. But and if you're a parent of a
child who's busy, had what's what's your rule about it?
Because I find that they come often. The opportunities you
have as a parent on the sideline is to compare
notes on things. And I don't know a single parent
(11:11):
who's I wouldn't say, gosh, you're busy at the moment
they're like, oh my goodness, yeah, I'm just so flat out.
So we'd love your calls on it. Eight hundred and eighty,
ten eighty. There's this angle from one of the texts.
Rich says, look tim, anything that keeps the kids off
gaming and social media is the right balance. But yes,
good point. But I would like to think that it's
(11:33):
not an either or either, is it you reckon?
Speaker 3 (11:36):
Yeah? I think I would definitely have these I definitely
have these conversations with friends who are parents, you know,
other parents as well, which is we make sure that
we're really busy to ensure that we're spending less time
on devices. But again, you know, that might be a
balance of there might be some sport that you're playing,
but you might also do other things as a family,
like go to the out gallery or go to the
domain and you know, throw a frisbee around and go
(11:58):
and have a picnic, or go to the beach or so,
you know, you might do things to have that outcome,
which I totally understand, and I, you know understand I
have teenagers too who want to.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
How many how many kids? If you've got remind me Aghan,
who got two?
Speaker 4 (12:11):
Yeah? Excellent.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
Look, I don't know why I said excellent, It's like
I approve, Oh good, you got that the right number.
Well done. Anyway, we'd love your calls on this as well.
Eight hundred eighty ten eighty about how do you manage
your kids.
Speaker 4 (12:24):
I shouldn't say kids all the time. Your children.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
How should you manage their extracurricular stuff, the sports, the music,
the dance, the whatever they are doing. Do you let
them make their own choices on that and learn by
experience or do you try and sort of measure it
for them by being the responsible parent and saying do
you really think you should be doing that? And then
they say I really want your dad? And then you
cave h eight hundred eighty ten eighty is the number.
(12:50):
We'd love your thoughts on this as well. We're with
Kim Harvey. She is the founder of the Young and
Healthy Charitable Trust, and she's with us Parents Squad. We'll
be back in just a moment. Nineteen and a half past.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
Five, The Margin of Even Good Mine and Change my Name.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
Striving.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Girls, Game and the Drugs, Last Day Skinny.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Clues. Welcome back to the Parents Squad. I'm Tim Beverage.
My guest is Kim Harvey. She's founder of the Young
and Healthy Charitable Trust. We're talking about our kids, you know,
not all kids, obviously, but is there a danger in
children being too busy and especially at this time of year?
Speaker 4 (13:39):
And how do you manage it actually, Kim.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
But before we get carry on though, just remind us
about the Young and Healthy Charitable Trust and the work
you guys do.
Speaker 3 (13:47):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely, and well we've got the Zebra Young
and Healthy Virtually Venture running at the moment. It's a
really fun five week sort of program that runs in schools.
It's digital, so there's a little bit of time spent
on devices, but i'd say a couple of minutes a day.
The key point is that we're getting them doing stuff
in the real world that really helps with someone thinks
we're talking about that's about balancing their health and their
(14:08):
well being and drinking lots of water and moving when
they can and having a good night sleep, spending their
time and devices. So it's really you know, part of
what we're talking about now with them being able to
recognize when they might need to.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
Do that, because the other side of it is, you know,
we can talk about where their kids are too busy,
and look, I think if your if your teenager is
into a whole bunch of things, then great, probably unless
they're nackering themselves. But on the other side of things,
there are people, there are kids who you know you
want to try and get them off the couch or
(14:40):
out of their room or whatever who are not doing much.
And I mean that's probably the bigger worry to parents,
isn't it about how do you get your children interested
in anything other than the compulsory being at school, which
sometimes is a challenge.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
Yeah, yeah, and I agree. I think again it's probably
getting alongside them and doing things with them if you can.
I know, again that can be challenging depending on the
age and things, but yeah, that is the biggest, the
biggest challenge. I we have a dog, and that's really helpful.
We make sure that, you know, the dog has to
be walked twice a day, and so if it's after school,
(15:15):
then it's you know, now it's in the evening or something.
And that's a really good way because I think, you know,
movement's really important for our learning, it's really important for
us to have at good night's sleep, it's really important
for our mental well being obviously, all of those things.
So even a little bit is really helpful. So even
if you struggle to get them, you know, like might
go for an hour and walk the dog. But if
(15:36):
that's a struggle, then five minutes or five of something.
You know, I talk about take five, so it's five
star jumps or five walk to the letterbox.
Speaker 4 (15:44):
And back or who is your five star jumps?
Speaker 3 (15:46):
Well, all of us, because we're role modeling the behavior
that we want to see.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Tim I think if I went down to a star jump,
oh that's not a burpee.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
I'm not to start simple, right, just I always used to.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
Think that burpies looked so fun and easy, and then
when they become part of an exercise regime, you realize.
Speaker 4 (16:04):
Actually, that's right.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
You know, when you're really young, just getting down and
going buoying up and there.
Speaker 4 (16:10):
It seems so easy.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
Then you get a bit older and you go these
things a hell on earth. Somebody's texts, and I think
we should acknowledge that somebody's said, look, these are well
I don't think. I don't quite agree with the way
they've put it. They said they're white, rich problems. How
many I don't think you need to add color into there.
By the way, how many poor families with both parents
working can do dance in five of their activities.
Speaker 4 (16:30):
And that is a challenge, isn't it.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
I realized that, I mean, both my wife and I work,
but I do weird hours, which maybe while it's tough
with the shift work, the benefit that when I'm doing
my overnights is I'm still I'm awake in time in
the afternoons to do things them and that is I
guess one of the challenges for But I'm not sure
(16:52):
it's an excuse for not being doing stuff after school
because I went to a Deco one high school. Yeah,
and that's why. Probably the reason some of my teammates
were at sports was because they love it for no
other reason that they loved it, and that was what
they focused their attention on.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
Yeah, there was the teamwork and the camaraderie.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
And so I'm not sure what to do with that
text because I'm not sure. I think every family can
have challenges. In fact, forget the money, it's simply a
question of whether both parents are working and the number
of I mean, I look at one of the sports
one of my daughters involved, and I'm helping organize the team.
But you can see the challenges that parents have simply
(17:31):
getting people to and from.
Speaker 4 (17:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
In fact, I have to share with you I made
a terrible boo boo. It's from one of my daughter,
One of my daughters in a volleyball team and I
volunteered to manage it and I misread the draw and.
Speaker 4 (17:46):
I had.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Normally it's a you know, you can catch a bus
or a few minute bus or a car ride, and
I'd accidentally put the wrong destination and as being a
high score, that was a very long way away because
I'd read the wrong draw. And I only found out
when I got in touch with the school and said,
is there any way the school has a van can
and she said why, You're only going down the road
and I.
Speaker 4 (18:07):
Was like, oh my god.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
And I mattered, But this is where I learned how
a reminder of how difficult it was with the number
of parents who were just going can anyone help me
with this?
Speaker 3 (18:19):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (18:20):
And the amount of coordination it takes.
Speaker 3 (18:22):
Yeah, yeah, I think so. And look, I think there's
a lot of work being done in schools to help
bridge gaps where children don't necessarily have that access to
sports and things, and so there's a lot more being
done by Sport New Zealand and the regional Sports trusts
and various others to ensure that everybody has as much
access as possible. Some of the parks and playgrounds that
(18:43):
are being created around New Zealand are incredible as well.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
So you know, and look, yes, some of the decisions
we made around sports were what was affordable, because I
don't mind saying I said to the girls, there's no
way we're doing rowing because we can't add that to
our budget. And that's just a fact of life. But
it doesn't mean you do nothing. You find something else
to do. Here's a text here that says, I think
(19:07):
I think children sort themselves out. I remember ten year
old daughter was asked to join a swim squad. She
put her hand on it hap and said, well, well,
I do gymnastics Monday, Wednesday, Friday, guides Monday, netball Tuesday
and Saturday. So I don't think I want to sport.
Teachers kids resilience winning and losing responsibility and so on.
(19:31):
Activities keep them from getting bored and resorting to games
and wondering mores, et cetera.
Speaker 4 (19:35):
Well that was a very assertive ten year old to
work that out. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
Absolutely, yeah, and definitely I think, you know, if you
can be led by your children and what they want
to do, Like you've said about yours, they want to
do these things and it's just about finding a way,
and as you say, sometimes budget doesn't allow, someone's time
doesn't allow. So it's really about finding out, you know,
what they love and what they want to do, and
that maybe guitar lessons, or it might be you know,
(19:58):
or something else. I think it doesn't have to be
sport necessarily, That's right, you know, there's so many other things,
although I guess.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
I'd see I want my in fact ones really involved
in the sport and the other not so much. But
she's still involved in something physical, and I think I
would be worried if.
Speaker 4 (20:17):
Would I be worried?
Speaker 2 (20:19):
I want them to be doing something at school age
where there's physical activity involved, rather than just relying on
PE classes once or twice a week.
Speaker 4 (20:26):
How do you how would you go about if.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
You were struggling, if parents were struggling to get there,
could their child motivated to do something like that?
Speaker 3 (20:35):
I would again, I'd say what are you doing with them?
And what do you do yourself? Because I think you
know they do. They don't listen to what we say,
they watch what we do, and if we aren't, if
we're trying to ask them to do something that we're
not prepared to do, then obviously it makes it much
more challenging. I also think if you make it fun,
you know, I mean I go on to schools and
we just have so much fun with you know, primary
(20:55):
and intermediate age children. We get pool noodles now they
are two dollars from the warehouse. We do stuff without anything.
We play rock paper scissors in a whole one hundred
different ways outside inside, you know, running around, tag involved.
You know, there's lots of things that you can do.
But I think our kids love when we do stuff
with them, so and it doesn't have to be a
lot of time. You know, a small amount of activity
(21:18):
has an incredible impact on all the things I mentioned before,
so our ability to learn, our ability to remember things,
remember the learning that we've done, our ability to sleep.
And again it diverts us away from wanting to use
those devices and do something else.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
So yeah, I tend to think that that's probably I mean,
I was almost wanting to push back against that text
that said so long as they're not on devices, But
I mean that is I mean, that must be. That's
a huge motivation for a lot of parents, really, isn't
it just to try and get them off their devices?
Speaker 3 (21:46):
Yeah? And again it's challenging, but we also have the opportunity,
you know, we're the parents, and we need to be
able to take it off them if we have to,
or shut down the Internet or you know those kinds
of things. So and also again, how much time are
we spending on ours? I know my kids will say
to me sometimes, Mum, you've been on your phone for
too long.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
Actually that is a difficult one though, because, for instance,
the cliche of dad reading the newspaper, Well, I don't
read the newspaper. I'm on the phone, but I'm actually
not swiping and liking Instagram posts.
Speaker 4 (22:19):
I'm literally reading.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
And I tell them that, I say, here it is,
here's that, here's the Herald. I'm reading that right now.
But so much of what we do is on our phones, so.
Speaker 3 (22:30):
That is a different work on my phone. I can
say the same thing to my now, I'm like, but
I'm working. Doesn't matter if especially if they're in the
environment that you're in and they do want your presence,
you know, they do want your attention, then it's important
that if we can maybe we just need to go
somewhere else. If we need to use it for a work,
you know, it's sort of again setting those boundaries. I
think we're all getting much more aware of that and
(22:52):
trying to be more disciplined around that as well, because
there's a lot of talk about it and you know,
social media issues and all those things. So I feel
like there's this growing consciousness of, you know, we need
to put it down ourselves.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
I've got a text message here somebody's saying, really struggling
with what extra curriculars to get my severely autistic son into.
Speaker 4 (23:14):
Any suggestions and I'm.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
Not sure in terms of expertise and stuff like that,
but what do you have any I'm not sure I
can Well, I'm not a parent of expert, but there
would be there must be agencies or advice you could
get to through.
Speaker 3 (23:31):
I would imagine, so maybe through places like Health New
Zealand might have sort of a starting point in my point,
you in the right direction of where you could go.
I really I don't know.
Speaker 4 (23:41):
Yeah, I just sawt we throw that one and there
just say if we can help with it.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
I'm sorry, we can't really help with that, but I might.
Speaker 4 (23:45):
Do a bit of a Google while we're yeah, while
we're taking over.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
By the way, the other thing, I always always want
to give a shout out to I never did it
when I was a kid. One of my daughters is
during the Duke of Edinburgh, and I've got to say
that the Duke of Edinburgh himself may have been a
bit of an old curmudgeon and a bit of a character,
but I tell you what he the impact I look
at just the difference it's made with my daughter doing
(24:09):
it and confidence with the with the activities she's doing.
Is that if you ever get if you do have
the chance to get involved with a program like that,
I mean, I don't know if you've had any involved
with the absolutely absolutely brilliant. Anyway, we'd love to take
your calls on this as well, if you want to
join the conversation about getting your children into extracurricular activities.
(24:29):
How much is too much? How much is too little?
But how have you approached it as a parent when
it comes to them making their own decisions? Give us
a call on eight hundred eighty ten eighty in text
on nine to nine two. It's twenty six minutes to
Sex News Talks.
Speaker 4 (24:43):
They'd be.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
Where have ever done to see.
Speaker 4 (24:53):
Jennie love.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
Jennie Gen there's a love moment, Yes, Welcome back to
the Weekend Collective. I'm Tim Beveridge and my guest is
(25:19):
Kim Harvey. She's the founder of the Young and Healthy
Charitable Trust. We're talking about are our kids too busy
or not busy enough? And how do you manage it
or do you let them manage it themselves. By the way,
I mentioned the Duke of Edinburgh, the Duke of Edinburgh Awards,
that's the one and just before the breakings and Angelo's
texted and saying, Juke of ed is great. Some beautiful tramps.
(25:41):
My daughter just finished gold. I wish it was offered
at every secondary school. Amazing teachers you've taken on these tramps.
And seriously, if you have the opportunity to get your
children involved in the Duke of Edinburgh, they could choose
a variety of things. And that one of my daughters
he's doing it is doing sport climbing as one of
her things, and also cooking. But actually, just from the
(26:01):
household point of view, the cooking has been fantastic because
all of a sudden I can.
Speaker 4 (26:04):
Just say, hey, can you look after this?
Speaker 2 (26:06):
It's tring to do things, but just in terms of
the confidence and being involved one hundred percent would be
my recommendation. But Kim, I think that probably the thing
we could chat about to for the last part of
the show is the signs. How would you work out
that your kids are too busy? Because it might not
(26:26):
be a case of looking if I'm looking at my
calendar now, I open it up and I can see,
you know, the calendar market as to what they've got,
and I think, oh god, that looks.
Speaker 4 (26:34):
Like a lot.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
But then again, they might be coping absolutely fine. Have
you had to sort of looked at your children's activities
and go on, oh, I think we need to dial
it back a.
Speaker 4 (26:43):
Bit on you.
Speaker 3 (26:49):
No, we haven't probably had that problem, but I do
have friends, very close friends who do. And I think,
as I said earlier, you know, I think it's it's
not just looking at them, but it's also looking at
the family as a whole, because you've got a function
effectively altogether. But yeah, one of some of the signs
of maybe our children are doing too much well. Obviously
the big one we just talked about was grumpiness. Is
(27:11):
you know, when they are awake, are they are they
really grumpy?
Speaker 2 (27:14):
But see at the end of the day, I mean,
was I grumpy as a teenager, I'm sure. Yeah, I'm
sure I got grumpy, but it wasn't but I'm not
sure if it was because I was overcooked, it was
just because I probably had I don't know, all sorts
of hormones raging around. Same with teenage girls as well,
and yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:30):
There's definitely that, but I think it's also in a
contextual way if they're you know that they're you know,
they've got that sort of thing going on, but maybe
there'sn't there's the extra grumpy or they're just struggling to
wake up in the morning, or you know those kinds
of things. Are they wanting to eat all the time,
which is, you know, eat especially the sort of snacky
foods because they they boost our energy really quickly. So
(27:52):
that's a real sign for me. Sometimes you know, we
get pretzels to go in the lunch boxes but they've
gone overnight, or because they're just hungry and they're just
burning through those that that food can be an example
of them feeling really tired and just needing that quick
heat of energy.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
So I think for me with one of my daughters,
I mean, again I don't specify which daughter I guess
which is my defense, but what the other I was
worried whether she's getting enough sleep. And then one morning
she just woke up and said, gosh, it's such a
good sleep. And I woke up before my alarm and
she was right into the day, and I thought, Okay,
I was worrying for nothing. But it would be when
when they're clinging to get the teenagers, I mean teenage boys.
(28:28):
I mean, god, that's sleep how many hours a day?
They said, well, I don't have teaching teenage boys, But
you know, I was from a family of boys, and
one of my brothers was legendary for just the ability
to sleep. Yeah, And I don't know at what point
you sort of think it's time to get up, but
whether they're sort of self regulating that respect.
Speaker 3 (28:48):
Yeah, again, you'll you know, you'll get to know, won't you.
I remember my dad used said to me. I'd be
reading in bed on the weekend. Sometimes he'd be like,
it's time to get up, and I'm like, well, I'm
just reading. You know, it was just that quiet time.
So I know that. You know, my kids find bright
lights and lots of noise and all the stuff that
goes on. It's all quite tiring, and so they come
home and they're like, they just need sort of half
(29:10):
an hour to an hour of just downtime.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
I mean, that's how much time off do you think
kids do need in the way just to unpack? Because
is it enough that they get maybe half an hour
an hour at some stage each day where they're just
chilling out and unwinding, Because that doesn't sound like much of.
Speaker 3 (29:27):
A break to may, No, it doesn't, does it. But
it probably depends. I mean, do they get bored? Boredom
is great, you know, it's it's really actually really good
for us to let our children get bored because that's
when creativity happens. And you know, just allowing your brain
that time where you're not actually either on a device
of some kind or feeding more information into it is
(29:48):
really important. So you look again in context, but at
least half an hour to an hour, I would say
would be good.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
It would be the signs you what would be the
signs you'd be worried about your kids are either not
doing enough or doing too much for you, Because for me,
I think it would.
Speaker 4 (30:06):
I actually don't know, because that's me.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
I need to probably give a bit of the thought to,
but I think, of course they're doing so much, I'm
not worried about them being lazy. So I actually don't
know how I'd finally picked that up. I guess because
they haven't had the experience of suddenly thinking maybe if
I come to this in a few weeks time, I'll
be like, Okay, we found out.
Speaker 4 (30:25):
But I mean, what.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
Would the signs be for you, for instance, that they're
not doing enough.
Speaker 3 (30:32):
Probably a bit of that lethargy, being a bit unmotivated,
maybe just not seeming themselves. Hours in their room is
not good for anyone, obviously. You know, when need light
helps us to regulate our circadian rhythm, so we get
good sleep and those things. So you know, spending too
long in bed in the weekends, we do need them
(30:53):
to get up and get some light. So if they're
doing that kind of thing, then I think, you know,
if they're not interacting with their friends, potentially some of
those things would be signs.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
You've been through the exam side of things. I can't
remember how old do you said?
Speaker 4 (31:04):
You're kids?
Speaker 3 (31:05):
Fifteen? So yeah, he's just.
Speaker 4 (31:08):
Is he just hitting hitting these now?
Speaker 2 (31:10):
How's is that a new thing for you in your household?
Speaker 3 (31:14):
Not really, not really. We've he's been doing sort of
tests of some kind from about year six in terms
of external type tests that he does, so he's kind
of got a rhythm going of what to do and
how to do it. But you know, it has a
challenge when it's a new a new thing.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
Because somebody who's texting and saying that it's not just
about activities, it's also whether they're helping up with chores
at home. But how in a minute, I sort of
think it's it's almost like some teenagers modus operandi that
they resist doing that, and I wouldn't see them as
being down or lazy, and I just see them as
not wanting.
Speaker 3 (31:49):
To do not wanting to do what you've asked them.
Speaker 4 (31:50):
To do, which is kind of frustrating.
Speaker 2 (31:52):
Yeah, yeah, and is that.
Speaker 3 (31:54):
And there's the science around that that says you've got
to ask them three, four, five, ten, twenty times before
they'll do it, and you've got to do it again,
and then the next weekend when it comes to cleaning
the toilet or the bedroom or you're still going to
do another twenty times. So it's it's maybe also expectations
around what they should do and how many times we
should asten to do it.
Speaker 2 (32:14):
And I guess the other thing is you've also got
to teach them how to look after themselves in that respect.
I mean, that's the thing that's to me A lot
of these parents parenting questions are about that. You know,
when they're when they're in the single digit years, you're
making all of those decisions to them with a little
bit of their enthusiasm. Why I don't like doing that
much more?
Speaker 4 (32:31):
Dad? And then you do that.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
But as they get older, you know they've got to
You've just got to keep keep tabs on them with that.
I think that's one of the hardest. One of the
hardest journeys for parents is that journey when the children
start working out, not children, young people, when they start
working out for themselves. I think that's probably the biggest
journey for any mum or dad is to go take
your foot off the accelerator and go, well, actually, I
(32:54):
think you need to make that call for yourself and
we'll see how it goes.
Speaker 3 (32:57):
Yeah, yeah, it certainly.
Speaker 2 (32:59):
Is, which is probably the case with our ones when
it comes up to doing doing exams and all that
sort of stuff. So what's what's what's keeping you visit
the young unhealthy childable trust at the moment?
Speaker 1 (33:08):
Is it?
Speaker 3 (33:09):
The virtual adventure is running at the moment? So we're
in week starting in week three, so we're five weeks
and we're sort of in the middle. I guess next week.
Speaker 4 (33:16):
And what's the virtual adventure again?
Speaker 3 (33:18):
So it's it's a race around the world. So as
a class, the kids get active in the real world.
They drink water or they eat fruit and veggies, get
a good night's sleep, spend this time on devices, get
out and vitamin in which is nature, those things that
they can choose to do themselves that will help them
with their learning and their just their health and well
being overall. And this takes them on this virtual adventure
(33:39):
and they race around the world and it's whole bunch
of fun.
Speaker 4 (33:42):
How did it get started? Was this?
Speaker 1 (33:45):
It was me?
Speaker 2 (33:45):
It was you?
Speaker 1 (33:46):
It was me?
Speaker 3 (33:47):
Yeah, yeah, it was great. It's great. It started a
long time ago with a very hands on type program,
and I thought, how can I scale this?
Speaker 4 (33:55):
What made you want to do it?
Speaker 1 (33:57):
Well, I've been.
Speaker 3 (33:57):
Involved in the fitness industry for a long time and
it was just I just thought, learning about how our
body works and what we can do to flauence it,
and it's just incredible. And I thought, I work with adults,
and adults struggled to find those little things that they
could do, like drinking water for example. Sometimes they found
that challenging to just change those behaviors that would have
such a big impact. So I thought, what if I
(34:19):
work with kids, what can we do if we start
to try and embed those habits from a really young age,
like brushing your teeth, you know, very similar And it
kind of all started from there.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
So how do you think our activities just generally, I
mean on the Young and Healthy dot org dot za. Yeah,
obviously it looks to me like your motivation was because
basically our kids are not active enough. How are we
going on that? Do you think now so we are
to worry about over committing kids.
Speaker 3 (34:47):
Yeah, I think there's a huge amount being done in
the space and it's getting better and better in terms
of you know, access to activity and activity. I mean
at school, the kids are doing more I think, which
is good because they're there a lot of the time,
but you know a little bit of activity really helps
them to learn. So it's really important that they are
(35:07):
you know, stopping every forty five minutes or something and
taking a few minutes to move their bodies because it
actually helps their brain to actually embed what they've just learned.
Speaker 4 (35:16):
What if?
Speaker 2 (35:16):
What if you found to be the biggest barriers in
terms of just getting kids active.
Speaker 3 (35:20):
Well, I think this is the distractions. So obviously, you know,
in more recent ars, technology has become one of those things.
And then there's time and you know, as I say,
there are lots of things that people can do that
don't cost any money, but we tend to look at
kids doing sport as an activity instead of looking at
getting them to the park or the playground or on
(35:42):
their skateboards or if they can do that or something.
Speaker 4 (35:45):
You know, put down that flipping phone. Yeah, good stuff,
Hey lovely, you see you.
Speaker 2 (35:49):
Yeah, you take so much for coming giving me. We'll
look forward to next time and we'll be back to
wrap sport in just a moment. This is News Talk,
Said b. It is eleven minutes to six.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
For more from the weekend collective, listen live to News
Talks Said Be weekends from three pm, or follow the
podcast on iHeartRadio.
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