November 22, 2025 • 37 mins
Summer holidays is just around the corner and kids will be rushing out the door to spend as much time as they can with their friends.
But this time of year is often the longest period that parents will be able to spend time at home with the family.
We don't want to pull our children away from their friends, but we also want to instil the value of family time.
So where do we draw the line between family time and friend time for our children this summer?
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
You're listening to the Weekend Collective podcast from News Talks EDB.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
It's hard to see how ready?
Speaker 3 (00:14):
This hard to leave you as you are. I'm thinking,
oh no, I don't.
Speaker 4 (00:24):
Need you, missed you and it's hard to see you.
Speaker 5 (00:29):
How is you?
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Ready's hard to you everywhere.
Speaker 6 (00:38):
To see you and welcome back to the show.
Speaker 7 (00:43):
This is the Weekend Collective. Welcome and or welcome back
if you have just joined us and don't forget. Shortly
before six we're joined by Superman him South, Christopher Reeve.
Speaker 5 (00:53):
Of course not that Christopher Reeve, but I'm just you
know you shoul I know you're not take me at face.
Value're looking ahead to the A B's and Wales.
Speaker 7 (00:59):
We've got the IF one which is underwhere at the
moment I think it's just got underway the qualify and
black Caps and West Indy as well, which is also
under way.
Speaker 5 (01:08):
I understand.
Speaker 7 (01:09):
So we'll be talking with Christopher Eve shortly before six
o'clock for that. But right now this is the Parents
Squad where obviously I don't think we need much of
an introduction for that, but we want you to join
us with your thoughts and comments and experience on know eight,
one hundred and eighty ten eighty and text nine two
nine two. And the first thing we're going to have
a crack at just discussing is working out that time.
(01:31):
You know, as kids get older, they want to spend
maybe less time with family and maybe they want to
go away with their with their friends. But I think
there probably is a time when parents, maybe you're worried
that this might be the last quality summer holiday because
the kids are getting older and soon they're after university
or whatever. But it is the time of year which
(01:54):
is the longest period often that parents can spend time
at home with the family, and you know, we don't
necessarily want them going off for a couple of weeks
with their friends if they've been invited somewhere. Maybe maybe
you want to have a bit more family time, but
where do you draw that line, because you also don't
want to create in an environment where your kids are thinking, God,
I'm being stuck with my parents and having to do
(02:14):
this family time thing. As soon as they get the chance,
they're out of there. So that's one of the things
we're going to talk about. And also if we do
have time, we'll talk about whether parents when and whether
parents should ever pull the pin on potentially well toxic
friendships may be an easy one to make a call
on if you think something's really toxic, but a friendship
that's not doing your child any good, and we might
(02:36):
have a chat about that as well. So if there's
something you'd like to climb in on, we'd love to
hear from you on eight hundred and eighty ten eighty.
You can text nine to two nine two and joining us.
He's a neuroscience educator. He's Nathan Wallace and he probably
doesn't really need much more of an introduction. Nathan High,
how are you, mate?
Speaker 3 (02:53):
How are you?
Speaker 5 (02:53):
I'm good. Have you ever been.
Speaker 7 (02:55):
Through the through that journey of you know, with the
family time, holidays versus.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
You know, yeah, yeah, absolutely absolutely. I mean I think
those parents go through it, don't they, Especially as the
kids are getting to that that's sixteen seventeen year old stage.
I mean sometimes earlier, but certainly then, you know, friends
seem to be a whole lot more exciting and a
whole lot more fun than the parents are.
Speaker 7 (03:18):
The because I think there is a time, you know,
I think as parents we have that guilt thing because
these are you know, well well, actually, I think as
parents we often have a guilt thing, don't we. But
I'm thinking if you're thinking that, maybe you're being a
kill joy because your child wants to go and spend
a few days with their with another friend's family. And
then there's the parent who thinks, hang on a minute, no, no, no,
(03:41):
you know you're we're going to spend this time together.
Speaker 5 (03:44):
I mean, is.
Speaker 7 (03:46):
Guilt something you just push out of your mind? Or
is there a reason you're feeling it?
Speaker 3 (03:50):
Oh? Yeah, I mean it's hard, isn't it?
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Guilt as a sort of a waste of emotion in
lots of ways, I think, you know, I mean, you've
got to out what are they doing? If the kids
want to go away with their friends on a holiday
and you just want them to stay at home with
you while you've got your face planted on Facebook largely
ignoring them, then yeah, of course they're going to want
to go get away. So I think if you want
to spend the time with your kids, you've got to
make something of that time. You've got to make yourself
(04:12):
available and make it something that you know the kids
are going to want to do.
Speaker 8 (04:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
I remember, I remember thinking my oldest daughter was going
to I thought, oh, she's sixteen, she's not going to
want to hang out with me much more. So I
got I brought a really old bed for that house
truck and took them on a house truck tour around
the South Island.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
Yeah, yeah, I mean I regretted it halfway because all
they did was fight, and we're trapped in a bed
but van but the kids still, the kids still talk
about the holiday now and then other Apparently I played
the same tape over and over again with all of
my songs. They said was torture, you know, listening to
the rectra seventies stuff. But I noticed they all have
(04:50):
all those songs on their playlist now though.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
So.
Speaker 5 (04:54):
Actually it's funny how those playlists rub off.
Speaker 7 (04:56):
I've I was listening to some rya heat the other
day and it wasn't something my first play but it
was one of my older brothers used to flog the
hell out of it, and I thought, God, this sounds
real familiar. And then I found that actually right back it, well,
you know, if you were going to be really argumentative,
i'd just say that that's when they're when they were
writing interesting really in music.
Speaker 5 (05:13):
That was built to last.
Speaker 7 (05:15):
The standard wasn't built to stand the test of time
or create it. But there's there's some The seventies created
a lot of classic stuff.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
Yeah, yeah, that's true.
Speaker 5 (05:26):
So actually, what about the van? Did you go and
buy a van?
Speaker 3 (05:30):
And yeah, and I know.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
That sounds like a very affluent, middle class thing to do,
but it was like ten and a half thousand dollars
brought it off a family member. It was really old.
But did the trick you know, got got us around.
Didn't have air conditioning or anything. I just had this
idealized thing in my head that, you know, one day
I'll take the kids on a trip around the South
Island in a house truck. And I just suddenly realized
my oldest daughter sixteen. If I'm going to do that,
(05:52):
I'm going to have to do that now. So just
sort of pulled the resources together and did that.
Speaker 5 (05:57):
Did you So was it already a house truck?
Speaker 3 (06:01):
It was already a house truck. It was a really
old house truck.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
I sort of, you know, the kids engaged and helping
meet us sort of do it up beforehand, which they
were very interested in.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
But yeah, I think of.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
The younger two, like I've got the five year gap
between my oldest one and then the next two. It
is a two year gap between them. So I think
the younger kids enjoyed it more because they still really
like spending time with dad. But I think the sixteen
year old was not impressed.
Speaker 5 (06:24):
You know, sorry, how many kids have you got to say?
Speaker 3 (06:28):
Three? Three? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Yeah, yeah, I say the two younger ones when they
still when they still really want to hang out with
their parents and they still think Dad's cool, which, let's
be honest, starts to wear off at about eleven. But
I'm just saying the younger two quite enjoyed it, and
you have positive memories of it. The sixteen year old,
now that she's thirty something, says that, you know, she
talks about it positively, but at the time she sulked
(06:51):
majorly about having to be dragged around.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
She wanted to be with her friends.
Speaker 5 (06:55):
You know, she's not about going on for holiday with
other friends.
Speaker 7 (06:57):
It's just like, actually, that's probably the most common scenario
you've just described as when you want to go on
holiday somewhere and you're sixteen old just wants to be
handy for their socials, for their social.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
Yeah yeah, yep, And I think it's important that we
compromise with that, cads. You know, yeah, I think if
I just dragged her without any sort of compromise about it,
it would have been way worse. She would have solved
a whole lot more, and that can really bring the
whole holiday down. But I didn't negotiate with her. And
you know, that holiday was two weeks and then for
the two weeks after that, her friend was allowed to
come and stay and they went and did things, and
(07:30):
she had gone off, you know, for another weekend with
one of her friends on their holiday.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
So I did sit down with her.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
And say, well, you know, if you get to do this,
I want to do this.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
This is dad's dream. I wanted to be about to
do this.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
I wanted about to take my whole three kids, but
I had to do some giving as well as you
know taking.
Speaker 7 (07:44):
Well, that just sounds like a reasonable sort of thing.
I would imagine you're on a hiding to nothing. That's
I think my biggest fear as a parent would be
if your if your kids saw you as just dictating
and it was your way the highway.
Speaker 5 (07:55):
But some yeah, you know.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely, and I don't think that would have worked.
That's why I had to sit down and go all right, then,
well your friend can come and stay for the two
weeks after that, because we had big plans of what
they wanted to do, and she wanted a friend to stay.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
So you know, I allowed that to happen.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
And you can go off on this other weekend with
another friend away with their parents.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
To wander or I think they were going on holiday.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
Yeah, you know, I'm prepared to let you do that
if you come along on this trip, you know, with
that now, the two kids.
Speaker 5 (08:20):
Okay, so how long ago was this? Just out of curiosity?
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Oh? This was what she's thirty three now and she
was sixteen, so that's like a long time ago.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
I'm old Mountain. No, it's something to been her grandfather. Now.
Speaker 7 (08:33):
Well, it's just when you mentioned seven the seventies music,
and I thought, hang on a minute, you're not that old.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
No.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
But because I got raised with my parents doing the
same thing to me, they you know, I got raised
with motown and stuff. So I'm good ten twenty years
out in my music because I wasn't allowed to listen
to my music. You know, I was listening to eighties
music in the eighties I was listening to sixties and
seventies music in the eighties because my parents were really
into music and they were partiers and so the house
was always full.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
Of the stereo going.
Speaker 5 (08:58):
So would you.
Speaker 7 (09:00):
I mean, I hate to try and think of rules
of thumbs because we're really just chatting about parenting.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Now.
Speaker 7 (09:05):
We navigate our way through these things. But it does
feel that if you are going to I mean, if
you're going to say to your kids that, no, we
are actually going to do this together. I mean, it
doesn't really matter what it is. It's just an expectation.
I guess that you are going to do things as
a family as well. Does it have to be a
cool holiday?
Speaker 3 (09:25):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (09:25):
Yeah, I mean I think it's about The key thing
is about sitting down and discussing it with the kids.
I'm always with parenting, always come back to that phrase
with them, not too you know, if you do things
with them, even though it may be your idea, but
sitting down and going, look, this is what I want
to do, this is what my goals are, this is
what I want to achieve, rather than just you will
do as you're told, because that just gets their back
(09:45):
up and then they're sulking the whole time, and no
one is a good time.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
So I think.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
It doesn't have to be a big holiday around the
South Island. It could just be, you know, we want
to go. I just think it's hard though, to say
to the kids, I don't want you going out with
your friends. I want you to stay at home. We're
not doing anything in particular, We're just staying at home
and I want you to be around because what's the
point of them being a if they're sulking the whole
time or they've just got their face on the phone
and ignoring you. You want to make, you know, some
(10:10):
good family memories, and that's not good family memories. So
I think it's important to discuss it with them and say,
what do you want to do? This is what I
want to do, this is what I want to achieve.
I think if you're really honest with your kids. I
mean I was just really straight up with them and
just said I'd always planned on doing this, and that's
that as my thing.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
I grew up watching the Partridge Family and I just
have this you of.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
You know, going on a bust, which is one of
the things I'm going to do with the kids. And
I said that to them. And now you know, the
eldest is nearly sixteen. I mean it's sixteen, she's nearly eighteen.
So this is probably the last chance I'm going to
get to do this, So I really want to do this.
And I think if you're honest like that, yeah, they
you know, they're still teenagers. They don't completely come to
the party, but they come to the party more than
if you just say you will be doing this, young lady,
(10:51):
because that just makes anyone miserable.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
I don't think that ever works.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
I mean, if they can work for you, if you
can just say to your kids to shut up and
as you told.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
And they go, all right, dad, and then they're happy. Ass. Well,
good power to you know those kids. Well.
Speaker 7 (11:03):
Also, I think if you get away with that, it's
probably because well i'd hope it's because you actually when
they do spend time with you, you're doing interesting things. I
mean say, I think that I think the worst thing
would be we just expect you to stay at home
because this is the only time that I can spend
you with it. But if you're not doing anything specific
and making an effort to go and do nice things, yeah,
(11:25):
then you know then they're probably right to feel, Oh god,
I'm just stuck at home and what do you want
me to fold some washing and you know, clean the bathroom.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
That's right, And it doesn't have to be about spending money.
Kids will just love you spending time with them. So
that means if you're at home, play the board games.
You know, my kids love playing cards. I've got sicker
playing cards, but Mike, it was one of my kid's
favorite things to do with around and play cards.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
You know.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
So it doesn't have to cost money. It just has
to be about having this. You know, they're not having
a phone, having the TV off, and actually just spending
time with each other. It can be as simple as,
you know, playing poker or playing yuker.
Speaker 5 (11:59):
God, I must have made I'm tempted to start googling
Bedford trucks. Was it bed the house truck? So it
was a Bedford house truck.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
Yeah, it was. What I'll say now is oh, you
need you need the air conditioning. It was so hot.
Speaker 5 (12:12):
Ah.
Speaker 3 (12:13):
Wow.
Speaker 5 (12:14):
Back in the days when you didn't have air conditioning,
you didn't know to complain about.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
No, you can do that was right, it's an ice
or something I do have this memory though, because the
truck was overheating. You know, We're at a bridge and
I drove down and I thought, I'll just drive a
little bit into the river because of a shallow river,
so I can sort of get the bottom of the car,
bottom of the truck in the river to help cool
it down, because it was really old and so it
looks like we're in the looks we're in the middle
(12:39):
of the river, but it wasn't deep, and the kids
got to blow up. You know, what do you call them?
The things he floats on in.
Speaker 5 (12:45):
The pool, the liloa.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
The lilo had the lilos, and I had got the
little gas stove out on the back with the kettle
and a whole bus of I think it was Japanese
tourist stop and we'd all taken photos because we must
have looked hilarious the truck parked in the middle of
the river with the kids floats they made spring tied
on so they wouldn't float away to spring it on
onto the truck on their lilos, you know, the oldest
one on her phone because even back then they had phones.
(13:09):
And me make it a cup of tea with you,
Billy boiling on the back. So I created a wonderful memory.
Speaker 7 (13:16):
Actually, I was trying to think of a way of
describing that improvised way of having an extra radiator for
the for the truck. Yeah, yeah, and the manualist like
if the engine gets too hot, just go through a
drive through a couple of Fords.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
Yeah that's yeah, exactly. It worked.
Speaker 7 (13:33):
I'm having nostalgic feelings about the holiday, but yeah, it
has conjuring a few sort of bits of my imagination
about holiday ideas. I guess I mean tied into this
is really how much of an obligation do you have
to make time and during the Christmas holidays?
Speaker 5 (13:49):
You know, because not.
Speaker 7 (13:52):
Everyone unless I'm married to a teacher, so right, you
know she will have to do a bit of work.
But there's discretionary time about when we can spend that.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
But for a lot of people, bloody exhausted though, goes
a teachers all they've got all those holidays, You put
those Put that person in with thirty kids.
Speaker 3 (14:09):
For one day and they collapse hand it at all.
Speaker 7 (14:13):
So I mean, not to get off the topic, but
to be I when I used to see how she
was at the end of the year, when we started
seeing each other. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely wrung out.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Yeah absolutely, you are give it your all. But I
have such an emotionally demanding job too. It's not just
the time like people think they finish at three, but
you're with those kids.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
From nine to three.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
You can't do any of your marking, any of your
other work, any of your planning, any of your resources,
so they don't really finish at three. But on top
of that, it's just the emotional you know, Yeah, the kids,
it's wonderful, it's really rewarding, but you're dealing with kids.
You know, one on five children are sexually abused. We
have the highest rates of domestic violence in the world.
I don't mean to bring the vibe down, but you
(14:57):
bring kids have kids have lots of problems, and you're
often the only person that they can talk to. So
it's a hugely emotionally demand thing. It's a you know,
only Jilbot half way. I get at home and I
just couldn't stay awake. I fall asleep on the couch.
Speaker 5 (15:10):
Did you how long did you teach for?
Speaker 3 (15:13):
Not for very long.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
I went into being a child counselor because I found
that it was I was much more passionate about kids
being happy and loving themselves than I was about teaching
them to read and write. So I was only a
teacher for about three years. Yeah, but my god, it
felt like twenty you know, So it was.
Speaker 7 (15:28):
Hard on the on the holiday thing. I mean, how
much was it? What's your approach when you went buying
a Bedford truck and driving around? Did you drive by
the way almost? I almost want to see photos of
that truck and the river thing, but.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
Yeah, yeah, find them.
Speaker 5 (15:46):
Where did you go.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
Just around the stuff?
Speaker 2 (15:50):
Because we lived in christ Church then, so we were
fairly central, and I think we just went up.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
We're up to Golden Hell. There was we we.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Went to a because part of my Partridge family fantasy
was to go to a concert, to go to a concert,
and so there was a concert on Outdoor, Confident and
taking a hill. So we went to that, which wasn't
quite my Partridge family train because they had all these other,
you know, eighteen year olds tripping environment take the kitchen.
(16:19):
I mean, luckily my two younger ones were too young
to know that was what was happening.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
They just thought everyone was really fun.
Speaker 7 (16:24):
Actually, I keep on thinking of the Brady bunch, but
the Partridge family were they were their family remember or something?
Speaker 6 (16:33):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've got a thing in terms of
in terms of shows that I thought we might be
reminiscing about with Nathan Wallace, I did not think Partridge
Tramily would be one of them.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
So this is back in the eighties. Everything was repeats
and reruns.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
So I know, it's my music and my television shows
all seemed to be dated to the sixties. But you know,
I didn't have cable or whatever you call it then,
so it was just all re runs and stuff.
Speaker 5 (16:56):
Is that is that holiday?
Speaker 7 (16:58):
Is that the one that stands out to you from
of the holidays that you spent together as a as
a family.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
It does.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
But interestingly, when I said to the kids, what's the
best time I've ever been on?
Speaker 3 (17:08):
Because I took them once to because I was quite
poor when they're grown up.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
I was a single parent, and you know, there wasn't
lots of money, but I'd saved lots and took them
to a resort just off in Australian Island, Ess actually
where they filmed the movie, the Scooby Doo movie Scary
Island it was, and I took them to that, and
I've taken them to Surface Paradise to go to all
of the theme parks and stuff only once each time.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
But so I thought, you know, these are big holidays.
When I said to the kids, to watch.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
Your favorite holiday, their favorite holiday was Hemla Springs, the
hot pools, I'm like, really, like, I spent thousands of
dollars on taking you overseas and you like the place
that's forty.
Speaker 3 (17:43):
Minutes up the road.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
Caught me hardly anything, like I wish you told me
that before. You know, that was what they loved doing.
They loved going to the hot springs. That was their
favorite holiday. And we would be and again I think
that was because we would be in a cabin at
the motor camp and we'd be playing cards at nighttime.
The kids really loved that. They loved just having my
undevoted attention. When you're at home, there's a million things
(18:06):
to do, especially when you're a single parent. You've got
all the feats to change and that boring stuff. You
can't do that when you're at the cabin. So you
did sit down and play cards, and they love that.
Speaker 7 (18:16):
There is something about heating away, isn't that actually I
know we started, I know we started the show discussing
about you know, when you're about where do you draw
the line between family time and friend time? But I
think another angle. I'd love to actually hear from people
about what with them, what were the holidays they remember
the most when they were growing up with their because
it's a great pointer towards to parents in a way,
(18:38):
we woun talk about the you know, people look at
other families who go to go skiing in Europe every
other year. Look, we did it once, but that was
the holiday of a lifetime. So you know, I'm not
having a crack at myself here.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (18:50):
Yeah, yeah, But sometimes it's so simplest times, isn't it.
Speaker 3 (18:53):
Yeah, it is, absolutely Yeah. That's certainly what stood out
in the kids memory.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
It's interesting now that my kids are grown up and
having those conversations with them, reflecting back on those things,
I think that would have been really powerful knowledge, you know,
at the time, because I thought I had to work
my guts out to get the money and scrimp and
save too, because I wanted the kids to have a
really nice holiday. It turns out I only had to
go to handle springs.
Speaker 7 (19:14):
Do you think if you've gone to handle the springs twice,
they would have been happy with that, or is it
christ Oh.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
We did go twice because I was just not very
hard on the road, so I think we went. I
think we went three or four times. Yeah, because I
was I don't even really count that as a holiday.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
It was like, you know, it's the weekend thing. But
they loved it well.
Speaker 7 (19:30):
In terms of the way is it actually important to
have I mean, somebody I've read something about routine holidays
doing the same thing every year is actually seen as
a good thing. Whereas I have to be honest. In
our family, we've done. The consistent thing we've done is
we've spent time with family. But we've done lots of
(19:50):
different things.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
So I don't think it's the right wrong way about that, tim.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
I think, well, do there lots of different things you're
giving your kids, lots of different experiences. There are many
lots of different people. But yeah, certainly there are people
that go back to the same you know, they might
have had a crib what do you call it up here,
a batch? But yeah, yeah, but even or you might
just go to the same caravan park every year and
a camp and you will go to the same camping
ground and stick up a ten. I know lots of
families have done that. They go back to the same
(20:14):
spot every year, and yeah, the families will get to
know each other and they don't see each other except
for a Christmas time. But then you've got this really
cool village feeling around you where everyone's looking after the
other kids. You know, the kids are quite safe. They've
got consistent friends that they see year upon year. I
had friends that would come and stay with their grandparents.
So they like, I'm from christ Chairs and I grew
(20:35):
up in Milton, but they would come every single holidays
to stay with their grandparents and so they were just
like my holiday friends. But that was such an enriching
you know, it's such a riching friendship. And to make
Chris who would come every every thing, and it was
just such a good friendship but really enriched to my childhood.
Speaker 5 (20:51):
See now i'm remembering it.
Speaker 7 (20:52):
Actually I'm probably didn't quite tell the right thing, because
we do have a regular holiday. It's just that the essential,
the quintessential regular holiday. My mass Kiwi's this summer. But
we have always take and I think, yeah, we've always
taken a regular winter holiday, and I think that if
we didn't, we'd get some resistance from the kids because
that's right, that's the regular thing, winter time and snow
(21:17):
or whatever like that. And I actually only just realized
that that's that that is our regular holiday which they
look forward to get.
Speaker 3 (21:24):
The best of both of us, don't you.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
You're giving them that diversity going to different places, but
they've got that recurring family ritual. Family rituals, so impoor
tonight holds the has helped to hold the whole thing together.
Speaker 7 (21:35):
Somebody has just sent me a photo of their They've
just texted me saying, Tim, I've just emailed you a
pick of the Bedford camper that I used to have.
This is from Colin, So I'm going to go look
at that, right. But we'd love to give from you actually,
because you know it's this time. Some people have already
planned their holidays. They book the tickets and all that
sort of thing. But what the what are the family
this is for ten eighty What are the family holidays
(21:56):
that you remember? And why what was it about it?
Because as you've heard from Nathan, he did a trip
with his kids and when he bought a Bedford house
truck and went round parts of the country. But as
kids remember the time that they went forty five minutes
up the road to Hanmah Springs. So what do you remember, oh,
eight hundred and eighty ten eighty text twenty nine past
five news talks that'd be Look, we've morphed our topic
(22:19):
from you know, spending time with family or versus your
kids wanted to spend time with the friends too. What
were the family holidays that you remembered, because actually it
seems a perfect time to be discussing this stuff. And
Nathan Wallace has shared some of his stories about heading
around the country on a Bedford van.
Speaker 5 (22:35):
But Fraser, gooday, how are you very good?
Speaker 2 (22:38):
Apps?
Speaker 3 (22:39):
And I'm very well, how are you good?
Speaker 5 (22:40):
Thanks?
Speaker 3 (22:42):
Good?
Speaker 8 (22:42):
So I think one of the best family family holidays
that we ever experienced for the our entire fam We
said that it was coming there, five kids, five and
seventeen grandchildren four, packed up four real dives and did
a tour of the East Cape. Wow, we read I
can't believe the name of the state runs, but it's
(23:04):
quite property es Cape. But we stayed at the honey
Rupe Marizia. We had some we had some family friends
up there. They're actually who actually lived at there. So
they put in on the on the riot for about
ten days, and we just explowed the escape.
Speaker 4 (23:21):
So we were all in four wheel drives, all of us.
You know, they've got high luxes and patrols and com
and Dad had their Suzuki Patara and all that sort
of thing, and and we just had endless challenges, you know,
like ambushing each other and in Minooka plantations and on
forestry roads and all this sort of thing.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
And it was five far.
Speaker 4 (23:43):
That was five far the dressed as a as a
whole family that we had quite some time. It's only
fifteen years ago now probably maybe not.
Speaker 7 (23:53):
Maybe third end, but how much how much organization did
it take of us saying if you're staying in a
Maria for ten for a number of days, now.
Speaker 4 (24:01):
Well, you know, we're just so blessed to.
Speaker 5 (24:04):
Have Oh we've lost you. He's disappeared.
Speaker 7 (24:10):
I was about to qui him about staying on the
Mariah actually, because that, funnily enough, I actually reckon that'd
be quite a cool experience if Mariah was saying, come,
come and stay with us for a few days and
you know, give us a coh and pay for your
food and things.
Speaker 5 (24:24):
Like that, and we'll we'll look after you. That would
actually be quite an awesome holiday.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
I doubt they probably hit people looking after that, and
I probably just got use of the kitchen. You know,
you've just been to a camping around where you've got
to got to cook your own meals and stuff.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
I don't I don't know if I was just imagine
people there for you.
Speaker 7 (24:42):
No, no good point. I don't know what I was
thinking on that one. Actually funny, one of the one
of the one of the memories. It's funny the simple
memories you've got. We went down to I just remember.
Speaker 5 (24:53):
We can't remember how we ended up there, funnily enough,
but we decided we go to Tiana, which is.
Speaker 7 (24:57):
A long way from from Auckland. But isn't it funny
that the little memories that you have. But the thing
that we did a mountain by thing. We get high
mountain bikes and we did this unexpectedly long mountain bike
ride where by the end of it, my bum was
just absolutely you know, somebody had taken to it with
a baseball bat. And one of my daughters and I
(25:19):
went and had a swim in Lake Tiana, And isn't
it funny? It was the coldest swim I've ever had
in my life, but it was. It's just one of
the memories that sticks out, and it's those simple pleasures,
isn't it's so simple unexpected things.
Speaker 5 (25:34):
Last minute, I.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
Wonder if those physical extremities, like feeling how cold the
water was, how sore your bum was, that sort of
anchors it in your body and makes you remember it
a bit more. You know, the memory is all about emotion,
and we're more extreme extreme pain like that activates your emotion, well, emotion.
Speaker 7 (25:50):
It was because the iced water, despite being so cold,
was such a relief that it's just like, yeah, it
was like, I know this is tough, and yeah, I
don't know what it is. It's just the imp it's
the improv things on holiday that you remember.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
Yeah, I think I'm frasers phrases memory there. I think
you can go with all of your cousins. That must
have been bliss.
Speaker 3 (26:10):
You know.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
That would make for special memories, wouldn't it if you've
got not just your kids, but all of the nieces
and issues and a lot of cousins. I mean, I
loved hanging out with my cousins.
Speaker 5 (26:17):
I was a kid.
Speaker 7 (26:17):
Yeah, our kids are a bit like that too, because
we've got cousins who they're over in the UK. But
when they've come over, my kids have just had an
absolute ball catching up with them. In fact, if we
went went over to visit them, or we could save up,
the problem would be is that the girls would want
to spend all the time in London with the cousins,
whereas we'd be like, hang on, we're in Europe.
Speaker 5 (26:36):
We're going to get around to get around the place. Actually,
my producer is part of.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
Being a New Zealander in that because it's cost so
much to get all the way over there. Yeah, but
you didn't want to see the whole lot while you're there.
Speaker 7 (26:48):
Actually, my producer, Tyra has in fact, I'm going to
get Tyra to come on here actually because she's got
a story about the family getting together which has a
rather nice punch line to it.
Speaker 5 (26:57):
Tyra, are you there? Yes? Yeah? So were you just
you touched on something in the break with But where
you guys used to holiday?
Speaker 9 (27:04):
Yes, so we used to go to Martin's Bay. I
suppose we still still do every Easter since we moved
to New Zealand, and it's all the aunts and uncles,
all the cousins, second cousins. Over the years, we've all
had kids and like partners have been added on. It's
just grown and grown and grown. Yes, it's just been
really lovely. And then met my partner and I started
(27:26):
bringing him along with He met all the family and
everything that was really lovely. And then one year he
took me up a hill and proposed to me up there.
I came down. Well, my whole family was waiting at
the bottom with champagne and everything, so and it was
just a really special place, that Martin's Bay. Yeah, all
the kids have kind of grown up there and now
(27:48):
we've all got our own kids who are growing up there.
So really special.
Speaker 5 (27:52):
That's amazing that that is actually, I think you're very
lucky to have that ability to I mean that's the
thing when you do have that ability. Is it a
f is it what's the location?
Speaker 9 (28:01):
Is it something that it's a counsel loaned campsite, Martin's Bay.
I think my family probably takes up about half the
campsite at Easter time now. But yeah, no, it's just
a public camp site. It's not nothing, nothing crazy but
it's beautiful over there. It's really pretty.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
It's a fantastic I was like that New Zealand because
you don't have to own your own bait for your
own crib and had lots of money. There are beautiful
camping sites around all over the show. They're still, you know,
quite affordable.
Speaker 5 (28:29):
That was a good move on Sean's part to take
you up the hill there and propose did you know?
Did you know it was coming?
Speaker 9 (28:34):
No idea?
Speaker 5 (28:35):
And how many holidays? How many holidays had you had
there together?
Speaker 9 (28:37):
Oh? I think.
Speaker 5 (28:42):
He knew his way around up the hill.
Speaker 7 (28:44):
Yes, and so, and it obviously asked mum and dad
for their permission because they were there with the shampas when.
Speaker 5 (28:48):
You were there.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
Yees.
Speaker 9 (28:49):
So he'd actually asked my dad for permission at our
friend's bulls party, so they were they had had a
few drinks and it was easier for them to ask.
But yeah, so everyone everyone knew. Everyone assumed that I
said that I was going to say yes. So luckily that.
Speaker 5 (29:05):
Would have been an awkward moment.
Speaker 7 (29:06):
It's like what would have definitely come down the hell
that'd be like about no, no, no, put them away.
Speaker 3 (29:14):
It's like I'm still one other options.
Speaker 7 (29:19):
We'd love to hear them. You if you want to
share your story, actually, oh, we have to take another break. Well,
we'll be back in the moment. If we'd like to
share your stories that you remember from you know, either
as a parent or the holidays you remember as a kid,
then give us a story, because I'm sure there are
people who are listening who actually sort of thinking, this
is giving me some inspiration for our next holiday, and
right now trade me's probably had a bit of a
(29:40):
boost and people looking for secondhand Bedford house trucks. Anyway,
we're with Nathan Wallace eight hundred and eighty ten eighty.
It's twenty one minutes to six. Yes, news talks. They'd
be talking about the holidays you remember when you were
growing up or as a parent that you remember as
standing out. Actually, you know, I hate trying to come
(30:01):
up with morals of the story because it sounds so
self righteous and smug. And we do this parents quite
you know what I mean, But absolutely and without wanting
to come up with that sort of thing. I think
in the end, it's just people doing stuff. It doesn't
need to be anything, and kids love people, whether it
be mom and dad and each other's company or the
(30:21):
extended family.
Speaker 5 (30:22):
But it's just I don't know. I just get the
feeling you've just got people.
Speaker 3 (30:27):
M h. I think you're right.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
I think now we've got that extra challenge of competing
with the cell phone, so you know, the kids might
have been easier to bring on board before the previous
generation when they were bored. Anyway, I think now the
parents got to have some sort of boundaries around when
the kids have that cell phone and when they don't,
because you know, it's not good for them. It's not
good for their mental health to be attached to that
screen all the time. So getting out and doing stuff
(30:52):
and having other people around, ye, it's the best thing
for them.
Speaker 7 (30:55):
I've got some lovely texts here, a couple of a
couple of couple. One says, a couple of years after
the christ Which quakes, my parents thought it would be
a good idea to do a road trip through there
to kind of support the local economy and recovery. We
flew into christ Church, took a campervan down to mo
Iraqi and Dunedin. We're down there for two weeks just
driving around. Probably the cheapest holiday I've ever been on,
(31:17):
but one of the most treasured and another way another one.
Taking a leaf out of your book a little bit there, Nathan. Hi, guys,
we had four kids on a single trainee wages. The
only trip we could afford was a trip to Hanmer,
a walk up Conical Hill, fish and chips, fish and
chips for lunch, a swim in the hot pools, and
an ice cream before the trip home when all the
(31:38):
kids had fall asleep in the car. Today, that's fifty
bucks in gas, one hundred and twenty bucks for the swim,
sixty bucks for fish and chips and drinking, forty five
for an ice cream, So pretty close to three hundred
bucks for a day out. Not possible for most, But actually,
I guess you know still says a good day, doesn't it.
Speaker 3 (31:57):
Yeah, let's still cheap it A guy to Hawaii, isn't it? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (32:01):
It is.
Speaker 5 (32:02):
Tim.
Speaker 7 (32:03):
We used to go away to Chris Miss at Christmas.
To Menaia to Granny's were an awesome time for two weeks,
riding horses, drinking, drinking home brew, and line and line dancing.
Speaker 3 (32:15):
Line dancing.
Speaker 5 (32:16):
Oh my godness, that's from Ray and Sparky.
Speaker 3 (32:19):
And might sound like I am line dancing.
Speaker 5 (32:23):
Now, this would be my second surprise for the for
the Nathan. Have you ever line danced?
Speaker 3 (32:30):
Yeah? Absolutely, Oh my goodness. I mean I think you know, nowadays.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
There's so much pressure and primary score early on to
do literasy and numerously, whereas I think the first two
years of my primary school was basically folk dancing.
Speaker 3 (32:46):
You know, it was like every afternoon.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
But you know, when you when you look beyond the
jokes are just folk dancing and line dancing, there is
lots of social skill development on that.
Speaker 3 (32:55):
You've got to be coordinated, you've got to and you've
got your timing. You know that that corte tongue, you've
got actors one, So you've got.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
To be I don't want to get all brain geek
on you, but you know, some of the most recently
evolved parts of the brain, it's called the Dorso lateral
prefrontal cortex.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
It's one of the most.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
Recently evolved parts of the brain, and it's about a
tuning into other people. So you have to attune to
other people. You have to act as one when your
line dancing, you have to you know. Yeah, it's so
good for your coordination, so good for your social skills,
so good for your communication skills, so we laugh.
Speaker 7 (33:25):
But well I went to Selwyn Primary and write a
rua and you know a lot of Mari culture. A
lot more now, but even when I was growing up,
and stick games and all that sort of stuff that
you do together. I mean, I mean that was all
part of that sort of working together in unison for
learning different songs.
Speaker 3 (33:47):
Absolutely, yeah, I think there's so much.
Speaker 2 (33:50):
You know, I've spent years in education and people that
have I think our politicians sometimes think that education is
just about getting you ready for the workforce rather than
getting you ready to be a person. And an intelligence
is so much more than just reading and writing and counting.
It is so much about social skills, human relationships and
depth of understanding and creativity and ingenuity and all of
(34:10):
those things happen in those things and those you know,
those stick games and those the line dancing and the
drama clubs and the debate teams and stuff. It's not
just literacy and numeracy. Well there are from school at
debate club and drama.
Speaker 5 (34:23):
Those things aren't mutually exclusive either, are they. The maths
of literacy and all that sort of stuff.
Speaker 3 (34:27):
You know, No, they're not. They're not.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
But I just think I worry that our education system
is just focusing too much on that. You know, like
I'm singing does more for the brain than it's about
anything else you can do. There's very little on a
brain scan that lights up as much of the brain
as singing does. It uses so much of the right
hand brain. But you know, nowdays, it tends to be
a lunchtime activity. Require as relegated to lunchtime because it's
not part of that core curriculum. They want literacy and numeracy. Yeahway,
(34:51):
don't get me started on that.
Speaker 5 (34:52):
We won't get your started on that.
Speaker 7 (34:54):
Although hey, on your holidays, how did you how would
you navigate the phone thing? You know, I mean even
the bed for truck, that's I mean, they did have
phones back then as well, maybe not as they're seeming
now with Instagram and TikTok and all that. What would
your rule of thumb bee if you were taking the
kids now with the there's just.
Speaker 2 (35:13):
Certain hours the day that you're allowed to cell phone.
But I don't Again, it's got to be negotiated with
the kids. When is the important time you did a
cell phone? Because I don't I remember taking my daughter
to a music festival, all the kids, and there was
I thought there was no reception, but she found one
rock that she could stand on on tip toes and
hold her phone high up in the air and get
her text messages. Who says teenagers can't persevere? Man, she
(35:35):
was on that rock like hours a day. So I
think you're gonna have boundaries around it. You've got to
sit down and say, Okay, we need to have boundaries
around this. You can check your messages, you can go
on the cell phone. You know, a lot of the
damage with cell phones is about the lack of physical
exercise and the lack of sleep. They're the two big dangers.
So you certainly don't have it at bedtime, you know.
(35:57):
So there's a certain time. They had to give it
to me at nine o'clock, I think, but they would
be allowed at for certain times, so I'd say, okay,
maybe you get your cell phone back trying to outside
a family times or times when I wanted to do stuff.
So it suited me, like you know, seven to nine
was what we argued about, because that was often when
we were sitting around playing cards and stuff, and I
didn't want them on their phone, but because I was
taking the phone off them at nine o'clock they wanted it,
(36:20):
so I.
Speaker 3 (36:21):
Think it ended up from four to seven.
Speaker 2 (36:23):
They were allowed their cell phone, and then in the
morning they were allowed at ten to twelve. I think
they're so around that we haven't negotiated with the kids,
but ten to twelve it's like, oh they're not. You know,
they're getting up and you've got breakfast together.
Speaker 3 (36:35):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (36:36):
They can then have their phone for a couple of hours,
but then hand it back at twelve and you've got
that sort of clear afternoon until four. And they argue
about that for a start, but once you get that
routine up and going, they just accept it.
Speaker 3 (36:45):
That's how it is.
Speaker 7 (36:46):
Hey, Nathan, great, great to chat about this stuff. And
thanks to the column for sending the photo of that
bed Ford truck. It does look hot.
Speaker 3 (36:56):
What it was.
Speaker 5 (36:57):
We'll look forward to next time, Nathan, Thanks so much.
Speaker 3 (36:58):
Man.
Speaker 7 (36:59):
Cheer mate one that is the parents Squad will be
back to rap sport and just a moment. Christopher Rave
and News Talks at be ten to Sex.
Speaker 1 (37:08):
For more from the Weekend Collective, listen live to News
Talks it Be weekends from three PM, or follow the
podcast on iHeartRadio
You're listening to the Weekend Collective podcast from News Talks EDB.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
It's hard to see how ready?
Speaker 3 (00:14):
This hard to leave you as you are. I'm thinking,
oh no, I don't.
Speaker 4 (00:24):
Need you, missed you and it's hard to see you.
Speaker 5 (00:29):
How is you?
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Ready's hard to you everywhere.
Speaker 6 (00:38):
To see you and welcome back to the show.
Speaker 7 (00:43):
This is the Weekend Collective. Welcome and or welcome back
if you have just joined us and don't forget. Shortly
before six we're joined by Superman him South, Christopher Reeve.
Speaker 5 (00:53):
Of course not that Christopher Reeve, but I'm just you
know you shoul I know you're not take me at face.
Value're looking ahead to the A B's and Wales.
Speaker 7 (00:59):
We've got the IF one which is underwhere at the
moment I think it's just got underway the qualify and
black Caps and West Indy as well, which is also
under way.
Speaker 5 (01:08):
I understand.
Speaker 7 (01:09):
So we'll be talking with Christopher Eve shortly before six
o'clock for that. But right now this is the Parents
Squad where obviously I don't think we need much of
an introduction for that, but we want you to join
us with your thoughts and comments and experience on know eight,
one hundred and eighty ten eighty and text nine two
nine two. And the first thing we're going to have
a crack at just discussing is working out that time.
(01:31):
You know, as kids get older, they want to spend
maybe less time with family and maybe they want to
go away with their with their friends. But I think
there probably is a time when parents, maybe you're worried
that this might be the last quality summer holiday because
the kids are getting older and soon they're after university
or whatever. But it is the time of year which
(01:54):
is the longest period often that parents can spend time
at home with the family, and you know, we don't
necessarily want them going off for a couple of weeks
with their friends if they've been invited somewhere. Maybe maybe
you want to have a bit more family time, but
where do you draw that line, because you also don't
want to create in an environment where your kids are thinking, God,
I'm being stuck with my parents and having to do
(02:14):
this family time thing. As soon as they get the chance,
they're out of there. So that's one of the things
we're going to talk about. And also if we do
have time, we'll talk about whether parents when and whether
parents should ever pull the pin on potentially well toxic
friendships may be an easy one to make a call
on if you think something's really toxic, but a friendship
that's not doing your child any good, and we might
(02:36):
have a chat about that as well. So if there's
something you'd like to climb in on, we'd love to
hear from you on eight hundred and eighty ten eighty.
You can text nine to two nine two and joining us.
He's a neuroscience educator. He's Nathan Wallace and he probably
doesn't really need much more of an introduction. Nathan High,
how are you, mate?
Speaker 3 (02:53):
How are you?
Speaker 5 (02:53):
I'm good. Have you ever been.
Speaker 7 (02:55):
Through the through that journey of you know, with the
family time, holidays versus.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
You know, yeah, yeah, absolutely absolutely. I mean I think
those parents go through it, don't they, Especially as the
kids are getting to that that's sixteen seventeen year old stage.
I mean sometimes earlier, but certainly then, you know, friends
seem to be a whole lot more exciting and a
whole lot more fun than the parents are.
Speaker 7 (03:18):
The because I think there is a time, you know,
I think as parents we have that guilt thing because
these are you know, well well, actually, I think as
parents we often have a guilt thing, don't we. But
I'm thinking if you're thinking that, maybe you're being a
kill joy because your child wants to go and spend
a few days with their with another friend's family. And
then there's the parent who thinks, hang on a minute, no, no, no,
(03:41):
you know you're we're going to spend this time together.
Speaker 5 (03:44):
I mean, is.
Speaker 7 (03:46):
Guilt something you just push out of your mind? Or
is there a reason you're feeling it?
Speaker 3 (03:50):
Oh? Yeah, I mean it's hard, isn't it?
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Guilt as a sort of a waste of emotion in
lots of ways, I think, you know, I mean, you've
got to out what are they doing? If the kids
want to go away with their friends on a holiday
and you just want them to stay at home with
you while you've got your face planted on Facebook largely
ignoring them, then yeah, of course they're going to want
to go get away. So I think if you want
to spend the time with your kids, you've got to
make something of that time. You've got to make yourself
(04:12):
available and make it something that you know the kids
are going to want to do.
Speaker 8 (04:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
I remember, I remember thinking my oldest daughter was going
to I thought, oh, she's sixteen, she's not going to
want to hang out with me much more. So I
got I brought a really old bed for that house
truck and took them on a house truck tour around
the South Island.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
Yeah, yeah, I mean I regretted it halfway because all
they did was fight, and we're trapped in a bed
but van but the kids still, the kids still talk
about the holiday now and then other Apparently I played
the same tape over and over again with all of
my songs. They said was torture, you know, listening to
the rectra seventies stuff. But I noticed they all have
(04:50):
all those songs on their playlist now though.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
So.
Speaker 5 (04:54):
Actually it's funny how those playlists rub off.
Speaker 7 (04:56):
I've I was listening to some rya heat the other
day and it wasn't something my first play but it
was one of my older brothers used to flog the
hell out of it, and I thought, God, this sounds
real familiar. And then I found that actually right back it, well,
you know, if you were going to be really argumentative,
i'd just say that that's when they're when they were
writing interesting really in music.
Speaker 5 (05:13):
That was built to last.
Speaker 7 (05:15):
The standard wasn't built to stand the test of time
or create it. But there's there's some The seventies created
a lot of classic stuff.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
Yeah, yeah, that's true.
Speaker 5 (05:26):
So actually, what about the van? Did you go and
buy a van?
Speaker 3 (05:30):
And yeah, and I know.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
That sounds like a very affluent, middle class thing to do,
but it was like ten and a half thousand dollars
brought it off a family member. It was really old.
But did the trick you know, got got us around.
Didn't have air conditioning or anything. I just had this
idealized thing in my head that, you know, one day
I'll take the kids on a trip around the South
Island in a house truck. And I just suddenly realized
my oldest daughter sixteen. If I'm going to do that,
(05:52):
I'm going to have to do that now. So just
sort of pulled the resources together and did that.
Speaker 5 (05:57):
Did you So was it already a house truck?
Speaker 3 (06:01):
It was already a house truck. It was a really
old house truck.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
I sort of, you know, the kids engaged and helping
meet us sort of do it up beforehand, which they
were very interested in.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
But yeah, I think of.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
The younger two, like I've got the five year gap
between my oldest one and then the next two. It
is a two year gap between them. So I think
the younger kids enjoyed it more because they still really
like spending time with dad. But I think the sixteen
year old was not impressed.
Speaker 5 (06:24):
You know, sorry, how many kids have you got to say?
Speaker 3 (06:28):
Three? Three? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Yeah, yeah, I say the two younger ones when they
still when they still really want to hang out with
their parents and they still think Dad's cool, which, let's
be honest, starts to wear off at about eleven. But
I'm just saying the younger two quite enjoyed it, and
you have positive memories of it. The sixteen year old,
now that she's thirty something, says that, you know, she
talks about it positively, but at the time she sulked
(06:51):
majorly about having to be dragged around.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
She wanted to be with her friends.
Speaker 5 (06:55):
You know, she's not about going on for holiday with
other friends.
Speaker 7 (06:57):
It's just like, actually, that's probably the most common scenario
you've just described as when you want to go on
holiday somewhere and you're sixteen old just wants to be
handy for their socials, for their social.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
Yeah yeah, yep, And I think it's important that we
compromise with that, cads. You know, yeah, I think if
I just dragged her without any sort of compromise about it,
it would have been way worse. She would have solved
a whole lot more, and that can really bring the
whole holiday down. But I didn't negotiate with her. And
you know, that holiday was two weeks and then for
the two weeks after that, her friend was allowed to
come and stay and they went and did things, and
(07:30):
she had gone off, you know, for another weekend with
one of her friends on their holiday.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
So I did sit down with her.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
And say, well, you know, if you get to do this,
I want to do this.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
This is dad's dream. I wanted to be about to
do this.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
I wanted about to take my whole three kids, but
I had to do some giving as well as you
know taking.
Speaker 7 (07:44):
Well, that just sounds like a reasonable sort of thing.
I would imagine you're on a hiding to nothing. That's
I think my biggest fear as a parent would be
if your if your kids saw you as just dictating
and it was your way the highway.
Speaker 5 (07:55):
But some yeah, you know.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely, and I don't think that would have worked.
That's why I had to sit down and go all right, then,
well your friend can come and stay for the two
weeks after that, because we had big plans of what
they wanted to do, and she wanted a friend to stay.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
So you know, I allowed that to happen.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
And you can go off on this other weekend with
another friend away with their parents.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
To wander or I think they were going on holiday.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
Yeah, you know, I'm prepared to let you do that
if you come along on this trip, you know, with
that now, the two kids.
Speaker 5 (08:20):
Okay, so how long ago was this? Just out of curiosity?
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Oh? This was what she's thirty three now and she
was sixteen, so that's like a long time ago.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
I'm old Mountain. No, it's something to been her grandfather. Now.
Speaker 7 (08:33):
Well, it's just when you mentioned seven the seventies music,
and I thought, hang on a minute, you're not that old.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
No.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
But because I got raised with my parents doing the
same thing to me, they you know, I got raised
with motown and stuff. So I'm good ten twenty years
out in my music because I wasn't allowed to listen
to my music. You know, I was listening to eighties
music in the eighties I was listening to sixties and
seventies music in the eighties because my parents were really
into music and they were partiers and so the house
was always full.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
Of the stereo going.
Speaker 5 (08:58):
So would you.
Speaker 7 (09:00):
I mean, I hate to try and think of rules
of thumbs because we're really just chatting about parenting.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Now.
Speaker 7 (09:05):
We navigate our way through these things. But it does
feel that if you are going to I mean, if
you're going to say to your kids that, no, we
are actually going to do this together. I mean, it
doesn't really matter what it is. It's just an expectation.
I guess that you are going to do things as
a family as well. Does it have to be a
cool holiday?
Speaker 3 (09:25):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (09:25):
Yeah, I mean I think it's about The key thing
is about sitting down and discussing it with the kids.
I'm always with parenting, always come back to that phrase
with them, not too you know, if you do things
with them, even though it may be your idea, but
sitting down and going, look, this is what I want
to do, this is what my goals are, this is
what I want to achieve, rather than just you will
do as you're told, because that just gets their back
(09:45):
up and then they're sulking the whole time, and no
one is a good time.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
So I think.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
It doesn't have to be a big holiday around the
South Island. It could just be, you know, we want
to go. I just think it's hard though, to say
to the kids, I don't want you going out with
your friends. I want you to stay at home. We're
not doing anything in particular, We're just staying at home
and I want you to be around because what's the
point of them being a if they're sulking the whole
time or they've just got their face on the phone
and ignoring you. You want to make, you know, some
(10:10):
good family memories, and that's not good family memories. So
I think it's important to discuss it with them and say,
what do you want to do? This is what I
want to do, this is what I want to achieve.
I think if you're really honest with your kids. I
mean I was just really straight up with them and
just said I'd always planned on doing this, and that's
that as my thing.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
I grew up watching the Partridge Family and I just
have this you of.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
You know, going on a bust, which is one of
the things I'm going to do with the kids. And
I said that to them. And now you know, the
eldest is nearly sixteen. I mean it's sixteen, she's nearly eighteen.
So this is probably the last chance I'm going to
get to do this, So I really want to do this.
And I think if you're honest like that, yeah, they
you know, they're still teenagers. They don't completely come to
the party, but they come to the party more than
if you just say you will be doing this, young lady,
(10:51):
because that just makes anyone miserable.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
I don't think that ever works.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
I mean, if they can work for you, if you
can just say to your kids to shut up and
as you told.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
And they go, all right, dad, and then they're happy. Ass. Well,
good power to you know those kids. Well.
Speaker 7 (11:03):
Also, I think if you get away with that, it's
probably because well i'd hope it's because you actually when
they do spend time with you, you're doing interesting things. I
mean say, I think that I think the worst thing
would be we just expect you to stay at home
because this is the only time that I can spend
you with it. But if you're not doing anything specific
and making an effort to go and do nice things, yeah,
(11:25):
then you know then they're probably right to feel, Oh god,
I'm just stuck at home and what do you want
me to fold some washing and you know, clean the bathroom.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
That's right, And it doesn't have to be about spending money.
Kids will just love you spending time with them. So
that means if you're at home, play the board games.
You know, my kids love playing cards. I've got sicker
playing cards, but Mike, it was one of my kid's
favorite things to do with around and play cards.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
You know.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
So it doesn't have to cost money. It just has
to be about having this. You know, they're not having
a phone, having the TV off, and actually just spending
time with each other. It can be as simple as,
you know, playing poker or playing yuker.
Speaker 5 (11:59):
God, I must have made I'm tempted to start googling
Bedford trucks. Was it bed the house truck? So it
was a Bedford house truck.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
Yeah, it was. What I'll say now is oh, you
need you need the air conditioning. It was so hot.
Speaker 5 (12:12):
Ah.
Speaker 3 (12:13):
Wow.
Speaker 5 (12:14):
Back in the days when you didn't have air conditioning,
you didn't know to complain about.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
No, you can do that was right, it's an ice
or something I do have this memory though, because the
truck was overheating. You know, We're at a bridge and
I drove down and I thought, I'll just drive a
little bit into the river because of a shallow river,
so I can sort of get the bottom of the car,
bottom of the truck in the river to help cool
it down, because it was really old and so it
looks like we're in the looks we're in the middle
(12:39):
of the river, but it wasn't deep, and the kids
got to blow up. You know, what do you call them?
The things he floats on in.
Speaker 5 (12:45):
The pool, the liloa.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
The lilo had the lilos, and I had got the
little gas stove out on the back with the kettle
and a whole bus of I think it was Japanese
tourist stop and we'd all taken photos because we must
have looked hilarious the truck parked in the middle of
the river with the kids floats they made spring tied
on so they wouldn't float away to spring it on
onto the truck on their lilos, you know, the oldest
one on her phone because even back then they had phones.
(13:09):
And me make it a cup of tea with you,
Billy boiling on the back. So I created a wonderful memory.
Speaker 7 (13:16):
Actually, I was trying to think of a way of
describing that improvised way of having an extra radiator for
the for the truck. Yeah, yeah, and the manualist like
if the engine gets too hot, just go through a
drive through a couple of Fords.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
Yeah that's yeah, exactly. It worked.
Speaker 7 (13:33):
I'm having nostalgic feelings about the holiday, but yeah, it
has conjuring a few sort of bits of my imagination
about holiday ideas. I guess I mean tied into this
is really how much of an obligation do you have
to make time and during the Christmas holidays?
Speaker 5 (13:49):
You know, because not.
Speaker 7 (13:52):
Everyone unless I'm married to a teacher, so right, you
know she will have to do a bit of work.
But there's discretionary time about when we can spend that.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
But for a lot of people, bloody exhausted though, goes
a teachers all they've got all those holidays, You put
those Put that person in with thirty kids.
Speaker 3 (14:09):
For one day and they collapse hand it at all.
Speaker 7 (14:13):
So I mean, not to get off the topic, but
to be I when I used to see how she
was at the end of the year, when we started
seeing each other. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely wrung out.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Yeah absolutely, you are give it your all. But I
have such an emotionally demanding job too. It's not just
the time like people think they finish at three, but
you're with those kids.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
From nine to three.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
You can't do any of your marking, any of your
other work, any of your planning, any of your resources,
so they don't really finish at three. But on top
of that, it's just the emotional you know, Yeah, the kids,
it's wonderful, it's really rewarding, but you're dealing with kids.
You know, one on five children are sexually abused. We
have the highest rates of domestic violence in the world.
I don't mean to bring the vibe down, but you
(14:57):
bring kids have kids have lots of problems, and you're
often the only person that they can talk to. So
it's a hugely emotionally demand thing. It's a you know,
only Jilbot half way. I get at home and I
just couldn't stay awake. I fall asleep on the couch.
Speaker 5 (15:10):
Did you how long did you teach for?
Speaker 3 (15:13):
Not for very long.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
I went into being a child counselor because I found
that it was I was much more passionate about kids
being happy and loving themselves than I was about teaching
them to read and write. So I was only a
teacher for about three years. Yeah, but my god, it
felt like twenty you know, So it was.
Speaker 7 (15:28):
Hard on the on the holiday thing. I mean, how
much was it? What's your approach when you went buying
a Bedford truck and driving around? Did you drive by
the way almost? I almost want to see photos of
that truck and the river thing, but.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
Yeah, yeah, find them.
Speaker 5 (15:46):
Where did you go.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
Just around the stuff?
Speaker 2 (15:50):
Because we lived in christ Church then, so we were
fairly central, and I think we just went up.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
We're up to Golden Hell. There was we we.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Went to a because part of my Partridge family fantasy
was to go to a concert, to go to a concert,
and so there was a concert on Outdoor, Confident and
taking a hill. So we went to that, which wasn't
quite my Partridge family train because they had all these other,
you know, eighteen year olds tripping environment take the kitchen.
(16:19):
I mean, luckily my two younger ones were too young
to know that was what was happening.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
They just thought everyone was really fun.
Speaker 7 (16:24):
Actually, I keep on thinking of the Brady bunch, but
the Partridge family were they were their family remember or something?
Speaker 6 (16:33):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've got a thing in terms of
in terms of shows that I thought we might be
reminiscing about with Nathan Wallace, I did not think Partridge
Tramily would be one of them.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
So this is back in the eighties. Everything was repeats
and reruns.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
So I know, it's my music and my television shows
all seemed to be dated to the sixties. But you know,
I didn't have cable or whatever you call it then,
so it was just all re runs and stuff.
Speaker 5 (16:56):
Is that is that holiday?
Speaker 7 (16:58):
Is that the one that stands out to you from
of the holidays that you spent together as a as
a family.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
It does.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
But interestingly, when I said to the kids, what's the
best time I've ever been on?
Speaker 3 (17:08):
Because I took them once to because I was quite
poor when they're grown up.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
I was a single parent, and you know, there wasn't
lots of money, but I'd saved lots and took them
to a resort just off in Australian Island, Ess actually
where they filmed the movie, the Scooby Doo movie Scary
Island it was, and I took them to that, and
I've taken them to Surface Paradise to go to all
of the theme parks and stuff only once each time.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
But so I thought, you know, these are big holidays.
When I said to the kids, to watch.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
Your favorite holiday, their favorite holiday was Hemla Springs, the
hot pools, I'm like, really, like, I spent thousands of
dollars on taking you overseas and you like the place
that's forty.
Speaker 3 (17:43):
Minutes up the road.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
Caught me hardly anything, like I wish you told me
that before. You know, that was what they loved doing.
They loved going to the hot springs. That was their
favorite holiday. And we would be and again I think
that was because we would be in a cabin at
the motor camp and we'd be playing cards at nighttime.
The kids really loved that. They loved just having my
undevoted attention. When you're at home, there's a million things
(18:06):
to do, especially when you're a single parent. You've got
all the feats to change and that boring stuff. You
can't do that when you're at the cabin. So you
did sit down and play cards, and they love that.
Speaker 7 (18:16):
There is something about heating away, isn't that actually I
know we started, I know we started the show discussing
about you know, when you're about where do you draw
the line between family time and friend time? But I
think another angle. I'd love to actually hear from people
about what with them, what were the holidays they remember
the most when they were growing up with their because
it's a great pointer towards to parents in a way,
(18:38):
we woun talk about the you know, people look at
other families who go to go skiing in Europe every
other year. Look, we did it once, but that was
the holiday of a lifetime. So you know, I'm not
having a crack at myself here.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (18:50):
Yeah, yeah, But sometimes it's so simplest times, isn't it.
Speaker 3 (18:53):
Yeah, it is, absolutely Yeah. That's certainly what stood out
in the kids memory.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
It's interesting now that my kids are grown up and
having those conversations with them, reflecting back on those things,
I think that would have been really powerful knowledge, you know,
at the time, because I thought I had to work
my guts out to get the money and scrimp and
save too, because I wanted the kids to have a
really nice holiday. It turns out I only had to
go to handle springs.
Speaker 7 (19:14):
Do you think if you've gone to handle the springs twice,
they would have been happy with that, or is it
christ Oh.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
We did go twice because I was just not very
hard on the road, so I think we went. I
think we went three or four times. Yeah, because I
was I don't even really count that as a holiday.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
It was like, you know, it's the weekend thing. But
they loved it well.
Speaker 7 (19:30):
In terms of the way is it actually important to
have I mean, somebody I've read something about routine holidays
doing the same thing every year is actually seen as
a good thing. Whereas I have to be honest. In
our family, we've done. The consistent thing we've done is
we've spent time with family. But we've done lots of
(19:50):
different things.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
So I don't think it's the right wrong way about that, tim.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
I think, well, do there lots of different things you're
giving your kids, lots of different experiences. There are many
lots of different people. But yeah, certainly there are people
that go back to the same you know, they might
have had a crib what do you call it up here,
a batch? But yeah, yeah, but even or you might
just go to the same caravan park every year and
a camp and you will go to the same camping
ground and stick up a ten. I know lots of
families have done that. They go back to the same
(20:14):
spot every year, and yeah, the families will get to
know each other and they don't see each other except
for a Christmas time. But then you've got this really
cool village feeling around you where everyone's looking after the
other kids. You know, the kids are quite safe. They've
got consistent friends that they see year upon year. I
had friends that would come and stay with their grandparents.
So they like, I'm from christ Chairs and I grew
(20:35):
up in Milton, but they would come every single holidays
to stay with their grandparents and so they were just
like my holiday friends. But that was such an enriching
you know, it's such a riching friendship. And to make
Chris who would come every every thing, and it was
just such a good friendship but really enriched to my childhood.
Speaker 5 (20:51):
See now i'm remembering it.
Speaker 7 (20:52):
Actually I'm probably didn't quite tell the right thing, because
we do have a regular holiday. It's just that the essential,
the quintessential regular holiday. My mass Kiwi's this summer. But
we have always take and I think, yeah, we've always
taken a regular winter holiday, and I think that if
we didn't, we'd get some resistance from the kids because
that's right, that's the regular thing, winter time and snow
(21:17):
or whatever like that. And I actually only just realized
that that's that that is our regular holiday which they
look forward to get.
Speaker 3 (21:24):
The best of both of us, don't you.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
You're giving them that diversity going to different places, but
they've got that recurring family ritual. Family rituals, so impoor
tonight holds the has helped to hold the whole thing together.
Speaker 7 (21:35):
Somebody has just sent me a photo of their They've
just texted me saying, Tim, I've just emailed you a
pick of the Bedford camper that I used to have.
This is from Colin, So I'm going to go look
at that, right. But we'd love to give from you actually,
because you know it's this time. Some people have already
planned their holidays. They book the tickets and all that
sort of thing. But what the what are the family
this is for ten eighty What are the family holidays
(21:56):
that you remember? And why what was it about it?
Because as you've heard from Nathan, he did a trip
with his kids and when he bought a Bedford house
truck and went round parts of the country. But as
kids remember the time that they went forty five minutes
up the road to Hanmah Springs. So what do you remember, oh,
eight hundred and eighty ten eighty text twenty nine past
five news talks that'd be Look, we've morphed our topic
(22:19):
from you know, spending time with family or versus your
kids wanted to spend time with the friends too. What
were the family holidays that you remembered, because actually it
seems a perfect time to be discussing this stuff. And
Nathan Wallace has shared some of his stories about heading
around the country on a Bedford van.
Speaker 5 (22:35):
But Fraser, gooday, how are you very good?
Speaker 2 (22:38):
Apps?
Speaker 3 (22:39):
And I'm very well, how are you good?
Speaker 5 (22:40):
Thanks?
Speaker 3 (22:42):
Good?
Speaker 8 (22:42):
So I think one of the best family family holidays
that we ever experienced for the our entire fam We
said that it was coming there, five kids, five and
seventeen grandchildren four, packed up four real dives and did
a tour of the East Cape. Wow, we read I
can't believe the name of the state runs, but it's
(23:04):
quite property es Cape. But we stayed at the honey
Rupe Marizia. We had some we had some family friends
up there. They're actually who actually lived at there. So
they put in on the on the riot for about
ten days, and we just explowed the escape.
Speaker 4 (23:21):
So we were all in four wheel drives, all of us.
You know, they've got high luxes and patrols and com
and Dad had their Suzuki Patara and all that sort
of thing, and and we just had endless challenges, you know,
like ambushing each other and in Minooka plantations and on
forestry roads and all this sort of thing.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
And it was five far.
Speaker 4 (23:43):
That was five far the dressed as a as a
whole family that we had quite some time. It's only
fifteen years ago now probably maybe not.
Speaker 7 (23:53):
Maybe third end, but how much how much organization did
it take of us saying if you're staying in a
Maria for ten for a number of days, now.
Speaker 4 (24:01):
Well, you know, we're just so blessed to.
Speaker 5 (24:04):
Have Oh we've lost you. He's disappeared.
Speaker 7 (24:10):
I was about to qui him about staying on the
Mariah actually, because that, funnily enough, I actually reckon that'd
be quite a cool experience if Mariah was saying, come,
come and stay with us for a few days and
you know, give us a coh and pay for your
food and things.
Speaker 5 (24:24):
Like that, and we'll we'll look after you. That would
actually be quite an awesome holiday.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
I doubt they probably hit people looking after that, and
I probably just got use of the kitchen. You know,
you've just been to a camping around where you've got
to got to cook your own meals and stuff.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
I don't I don't know if I was just imagine
people there for you.
Speaker 7 (24:42):
No, no good point. I don't know what I was
thinking on that one. Actually funny, one of the one
of the one of the memories. It's funny the simple
memories you've got. We went down to I just remember.
Speaker 5 (24:53):
We can't remember how we ended up there, funnily enough,
but we decided we go to Tiana, which is.
Speaker 7 (24:57):
A long way from from Auckland. But isn't it funny
that the little memories that you have. But the thing
that we did a mountain by thing. We get high
mountain bikes and we did this unexpectedly long mountain bike
ride where by the end of it, my bum was
just absolutely you know, somebody had taken to it with
a baseball bat. And one of my daughters and I
(25:19):
went and had a swim in Lake Tiana, And isn't
it funny? It was the coldest swim I've ever had
in my life, but it was. It's just one of
the memories that sticks out, and it's those simple pleasures,
isn't it's so simple unexpected things.
Speaker 5 (25:34):
Last minute, I.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
Wonder if those physical extremities, like feeling how cold the
water was, how sore your bum was, that sort of
anchors it in your body and makes you remember it
a bit more. You know, the memory is all about emotion,
and we're more extreme extreme pain like that activates your emotion, well, emotion.
Speaker 7 (25:50):
It was because the iced water, despite being so cold,
was such a relief that it's just like, yeah, it
was like, I know this is tough, and yeah, I
don't know what it is. It's just the imp it's
the improv things on holiday that you remember.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
Yeah, I think I'm frasers phrases memory there. I think
you can go with all of your cousins. That must
have been bliss.
Speaker 3 (26:10):
You know.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
That would make for special memories, wouldn't it if you've
got not just your kids, but all of the nieces
and issues and a lot of cousins. I mean, I
loved hanging out with my cousins.
Speaker 5 (26:17):
I was a kid.
Speaker 7 (26:17):
Yeah, our kids are a bit like that too, because
we've got cousins who they're over in the UK. But
when they've come over, my kids have just had an
absolute ball catching up with them. In fact, if we
went went over to visit them, or we could save up,
the problem would be is that the girls would want
to spend all the time in London with the cousins,
whereas we'd be like, hang on, we're in Europe.
Speaker 5 (26:36):
We're going to get around to get around the place. Actually,
my producer is part of.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
Being a New Zealander in that because it's cost so
much to get all the way over there. Yeah, but
you didn't want to see the whole lot while you're there.
Speaker 7 (26:48):
Actually, my producer, Tyra has in fact, I'm going to
get Tyra to come on here actually because she's got
a story about the family getting together which has a
rather nice punch line to it.
Speaker 5 (26:57):
Tyra, are you there? Yes? Yeah? So were you just
you touched on something in the break with But where
you guys used to holiday?
Speaker 9 (27:04):
Yes, so we used to go to Martin's Bay. I
suppose we still still do every Easter since we moved
to New Zealand, and it's all the aunts and uncles,
all the cousins, second cousins. Over the years, we've all
had kids and like partners have been added on. It's
just grown and grown and grown. Yes, it's just been
really lovely. And then met my partner and I started
(27:26):
bringing him along with He met all the family and
everything that was really lovely. And then one year he
took me up a hill and proposed to me up there.
I came down. Well, my whole family was waiting at
the bottom with champagne and everything, so and it was
just a really special place, that Martin's Bay. Yeah, all
the kids have kind of grown up there and now
(27:48):
we've all got our own kids who are growing up there.
So really special.
Speaker 5 (27:52):
That's amazing that that is actually, I think you're very
lucky to have that ability to I mean that's the
thing when you do have that ability. Is it a
f is it what's the location?
Speaker 9 (28:01):
Is it something that it's a counsel loaned campsite, Martin's Bay.
I think my family probably takes up about half the
campsite at Easter time now. But yeah, no, it's just
a public camp site. It's not nothing, nothing crazy but
it's beautiful over there. It's really pretty.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
It's a fantastic I was like that New Zealand because
you don't have to own your own bait for your
own crib and had lots of money. There are beautiful
camping sites around all over the show. They're still, you know,
quite affordable.
Speaker 5 (28:29):
That was a good move on Sean's part to take
you up the hill there and propose did you know?
Did you know it was coming?
Speaker 9 (28:34):
No idea?
Speaker 5 (28:35):
And how many holidays? How many holidays had you had
there together?
Speaker 9 (28:37):
Oh? I think.
Speaker 5 (28:42):
He knew his way around up the hill.
Speaker 7 (28:44):
Yes, and so, and it obviously asked mum and dad
for their permission because they were there with the shampas when.
Speaker 5 (28:48):
You were there.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
Yees.
Speaker 9 (28:49):
So he'd actually asked my dad for permission at our
friend's bulls party, so they were they had had a
few drinks and it was easier for them to ask.
But yeah, so everyone everyone knew. Everyone assumed that I
said that I was going to say yes. So luckily that.
Speaker 5 (29:05):
Would have been an awkward moment.
Speaker 7 (29:06):
It's like what would have definitely come down the hell
that'd be like about no, no, no, put them away.
Speaker 3 (29:14):
It's like I'm still one other options.
Speaker 7 (29:19):
We'd love to hear them. You if you want to
share your story, actually, oh, we have to take another break. Well,
we'll be back in the moment. If we'd like to
share your stories that you remember from you know, either
as a parent or the holidays you remember as a kid,
then give us a story, because I'm sure there are
people who are listening who actually sort of thinking, this
is giving me some inspiration for our next holiday, and
right now trade me's probably had a bit of a
(29:40):
boost and people looking for secondhand Bedford house trucks. Anyway,
we're with Nathan Wallace eight hundred and eighty ten eighty.
It's twenty one minutes to six. Yes, news talks. They'd
be talking about the holidays you remember when you were
growing up or as a parent that you remember as
standing out. Actually, you know, I hate trying to come
(30:01):
up with morals of the story because it sounds so
self righteous and smug. And we do this parents quite
you know what I mean, But absolutely and without wanting
to come up with that sort of thing. I think
in the end, it's just people doing stuff. It doesn't
need to be anything, and kids love people, whether it
be mom and dad and each other's company or the
(30:21):
extended family.
Speaker 5 (30:22):
But it's just I don't know. I just get the
feeling you've just got people.
Speaker 3 (30:27):
M h. I think you're right.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
I think now we've got that extra challenge of competing
with the cell phone, so you know, the kids might
have been easier to bring on board before the previous
generation when they were bored. Anyway, I think now the
parents got to have some sort of boundaries around when
the kids have that cell phone and when they don't,
because you know, it's not good for them. It's not
good for their mental health to be attached to that
screen all the time. So getting out and doing stuff
(30:52):
and having other people around, ye, it's the best thing
for them.
Speaker 7 (30:55):
I've got some lovely texts here, a couple of a
couple of couple. One says, a couple of years after
the christ Which quakes, my parents thought it would be
a good idea to do a road trip through there
to kind of support the local economy and recovery. We
flew into christ Church, took a campervan down to mo
Iraqi and Dunedin. We're down there for two weeks just
driving around. Probably the cheapest holiday I've ever been on,
(31:17):
but one of the most treasured and another way another one.
Taking a leaf out of your book a little bit there, Nathan. Hi, guys,
we had four kids on a single trainee wages. The
only trip we could afford was a trip to Hanmer,
a walk up Conical Hill, fish and chips, fish and
chips for lunch, a swim in the hot pools, and
an ice cream before the trip home when all the
(31:38):
kids had fall asleep in the car. Today, that's fifty
bucks in gas, one hundred and twenty bucks for the swim,
sixty bucks for fish and chips and drinking, forty five
for an ice cream, So pretty close to three hundred
bucks for a day out. Not possible for most, But actually,
I guess you know still says a good day, doesn't it.
Speaker 3 (31:57):
Yeah, let's still cheap it A guy to Hawaii, isn't it? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (32:01):
It is.
Speaker 5 (32:02):
Tim.
Speaker 7 (32:03):
We used to go away to Chris Miss at Christmas.
To Menaia to Granny's were an awesome time for two weeks,
riding horses, drinking, drinking home brew, and line and line dancing.
Speaker 3 (32:15):
Line dancing.
Speaker 5 (32:16):
Oh my godness, that's from Ray and Sparky.
Speaker 3 (32:19):
And might sound like I am line dancing.
Speaker 5 (32:23):
Now, this would be my second surprise for the for
the Nathan. Have you ever line danced?
Speaker 3 (32:30):
Yeah? Absolutely, Oh my goodness. I mean I think you know, nowadays.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
There's so much pressure and primary score early on to
do literasy and numerously, whereas I think the first two
years of my primary school was basically folk dancing.
Speaker 3 (32:46):
You know, it was like every afternoon.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
But you know, when you when you look beyond the
jokes are just folk dancing and line dancing, there is
lots of social skill development on that.
Speaker 3 (32:55):
You've got to be coordinated, you've got to and you've
got your timing. You know that that corte tongue, you've
got actors one, So you've got.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
To be I don't want to get all brain geek
on you, but you know, some of the most recently
evolved parts of the brain, it's called the Dorso lateral
prefrontal cortex.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
It's one of the most.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
Recently evolved parts of the brain, and it's about a
tuning into other people. So you have to attune to
other people. You have to act as one when your
line dancing, you have to you know. Yeah, it's so
good for your coordination, so good for your social skills,
so good for your communication skills, so we laugh.
Speaker 7 (33:25):
But well I went to Selwyn Primary and write a
rua and you know a lot of Mari culture. A
lot more now, but even when I was growing up,
and stick games and all that sort of stuff that
you do together. I mean, I mean that was all
part of that sort of working together in unison for
learning different songs.
Speaker 3 (33:47):
Absolutely, yeah, I think there's so much.
Speaker 2 (33:50):
You know, I've spent years in education and people that
have I think our politicians sometimes think that education is
just about getting you ready for the workforce rather than
getting you ready to be a person. And an intelligence
is so much more than just reading and writing and counting.
It is so much about social skills, human relationships and
depth of understanding and creativity and ingenuity and all of
(34:10):
those things happen in those things and those you know,
those stick games and those the line dancing and the
drama clubs and the debate teams and stuff. It's not
just literacy and numeracy. Well there are from school at
debate club and drama.
Speaker 5 (34:23):
Those things aren't mutually exclusive either, are they. The maths
of literacy and all that sort of stuff.
Speaker 3 (34:27):
You know, No, they're not. They're not.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
But I just think I worry that our education system
is just focusing too much on that. You know, like
I'm singing does more for the brain than it's about
anything else you can do. There's very little on a
brain scan that lights up as much of the brain
as singing does. It uses so much of the right
hand brain. But you know, nowdays, it tends to be
a lunchtime activity. Require as relegated to lunchtime because it's
not part of that core curriculum. They want literacy and numeracy. Yeahway,
(34:51):
don't get me started on that.
Speaker 5 (34:52):
We won't get your started on that.
Speaker 7 (34:54):
Although hey, on your holidays, how did you how would
you navigate the phone thing? You know, I mean even
the bed for truck, that's I mean, they did have
phones back then as well, maybe not as they're seeming
now with Instagram and TikTok and all that. What would
your rule of thumb bee if you were taking the
kids now with the there's just.
Speaker 2 (35:13):
Certain hours the day that you're allowed to cell phone.
But I don't Again, it's got to be negotiated with
the kids. When is the important time you did a
cell phone? Because I don't I remember taking my daughter
to a music festival, all the kids, and there was
I thought there was no reception, but she found one
rock that she could stand on on tip toes and
hold her phone high up in the air and get
her text messages. Who says teenagers can't persevere? Man, she
(35:35):
was on that rock like hours a day. So I
think you're gonna have boundaries around it. You've got to
sit down and say, Okay, we need to have boundaries
around this. You can check your messages, you can go
on the cell phone. You know, a lot of the
damage with cell phones is about the lack of physical
exercise and the lack of sleep. They're the two big dangers.
So you certainly don't have it at bedtime, you know.
(35:57):
So there's a certain time. They had to give it
to me at nine o'clock, I think, but they would
be allowed at for certain times, so I'd say, okay,
maybe you get your cell phone back trying to outside
a family times or times when I wanted to do stuff.
So it suited me, like you know, seven to nine
was what we argued about, because that was often when
we were sitting around playing cards and stuff, and I
didn't want them on their phone, but because I was
taking the phone off them at nine o'clock they wanted it,
(36:20):
so I.
Speaker 3 (36:21):
Think it ended up from four to seven.
Speaker 2 (36:23):
They were allowed their cell phone, and then in the
morning they were allowed at ten to twelve. I think
they're so around that we haven't negotiated with the kids,
but ten to twelve it's like, oh they're not. You know,
they're getting up and you've got breakfast together.
Speaker 3 (36:35):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (36:36):
They can then have their phone for a couple of hours,
but then hand it back at twelve and you've got
that sort of clear afternoon until four. And they argue
about that for a start, but once you get that
routine up and going, they just accept it.
Speaker 3 (36:45):
That's how it is.
Speaker 7 (36:46):
Hey, Nathan, great, great to chat about this stuff. And
thanks to the column for sending the photo of that
bed Ford truck. It does look hot.
Speaker 3 (36:56):
What it was.
Speaker 5 (36:57):
We'll look forward to next time, Nathan, Thanks so much.
Speaker 3 (36:58):
Man.
Speaker 7 (36:59):
Cheer mate one that is the parents Squad will be
back to rap sport and just a moment. Christopher Rave
and News Talks at be ten to Sex.
Speaker 1 (37:08):
For more from the Weekend Collective, listen live to News
Talks it Be weekends from three PM, or follow the
podcast on iHeartRadio
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