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April 29, 2025 • 13 mins

THE BEST BITS IN A SILLIER PACKAGE (from Wednesday's Mike Hosking Breakfast) It's a Wonderful Place/Mark the MPs/Deliberately Mispronounciating/Return of the Inquiry/Not Livable Enough for Me

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Speaker 1 (00:09):
You're listening to a podcast from news talk z'd be
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Speaker 2 (00:24):
The rewraph, Good idea and welcome to the rewrap for Wednesday,
all the best, but it's from the Mike Hoskin Breakfast
on Newsborgs. They'd be in a silly a packet. I
am Gleen Hart and today we will rank the MP's,
which I want to point out is different from marking
the week. I'll explain more shortly. Shane Jones calls Mike

(00:45):
Hosking the wrong name unless there actually is somebody out
there called Mike Hoskins. The COVID Inquiry, Return of the
Killer COVID Inquiry and how livable are our cities? But
before any of that, speaking of cities, Wellington, you're mayor

(01:07):
not going to be. The Mayor's still going to be
out there.

Speaker 3 (01:11):
In her seemingly never ending ability to surprise. Tory Farnawer
fronts on the local ZB morning show in her beleaguered
capital yesterday and scores herself. Scores herself. What would you
score yourself? Tory? She scored herself nine out of ten.
Now if she'd come from comedy, I could have seen
the joke she was making. But she doesn't come from comedy,
which is not to say her reign hasn't been comedic.

(01:33):
She is the Meagan Market of local body politics, so
self absorbed she doesn't appear cognizant as to just how
destructive and useless she is. I know, I wasn't even
going to comment on far now, given it's a local issue.
She's announced she's off, and the sooner the far Era
of terror ends, the better. But but flying the ointment,
she is still standing, as you well aware, for a
seat and bringing potentially all her nine out of ten

(01:54):
madness with her.

Speaker 4 (01:55):
Now.

Speaker 3 (01:56):
The guard rails on this part of her future are,
of course in the hands of the public of the capital.
You don't have to have more of this. You can,
in fact vote for somebody else. But I suppose the
flip side of that is, in a democracy, she's free
to take her record and put it in front of
you and put it to the test. But it takes
a special sort of narcissist to think of herself so
highly having just been bundled out of the big race,

(02:17):
because she knows she can't win. If she is nine
out of ten, she should be bolting home. But that's
the problem with narcissists, isn't that they continue to bluster
even when they know the game is up. She has
also got the wider problem by remaining as part of
the wider picture. See she puts people off. Local body
politics is crying out for decent, hard working, competent contributors.

(02:37):
But who in their right mind is interested in sitting
around a table with buffoons a bunch of do gooding
lifers who as often as not and not actually able
to get work in the normal real world. Not all
of Wellington's many problems, of course, are on Tory, but
she led the team that wrought the havoc and the
stuff she inherited she didn't help. Her advice to poor
old Nick Mills, who had to listen to this tripe yesterday,

(02:58):
was every time you see a rode cone, you see progress.
See it's that sort of fairy tale, fanciful nonsense most
of us realize isn't remotely true. Maybe that's her ultimate problem.
Maybe she lives in her head. In her head, Wellington
is a riviera and Torri's the queen of that rivi era.
The pipes didn't burst, the city boomed, and Torry oversaw
a renaissance. Maybe that's how all narcissists delude themselves.

Speaker 2 (03:20):
Does she create a reality distortion field and match the
same way that he used to talk about Steve Jobs,
you know, just constantly saying things the way that he
wanted them to be until they actually became that way
so he could actually release iPhones on time and that
sort of thing. Is that what she's trying to do there?
Is She's just not very good at it in that

(03:42):
the only person's reality that gets distorted is hers. I
don't know, it's rewrap right, It's not Friday, so we're
not marking the week. We're just branking MPs.

Speaker 3 (03:56):
My favorite part of the Herald, I mean a part
obviously from the regurgitation of the Met Service press releases
is Audrey Young's annual marking of the government. And my word,
is Audrey in love with the government. As it turns out,
everybody I'm looking at here, this is a must read.
Everybody is getting a very good score from Audrey. And

(04:17):
Audrey knows what she's talking about because Audrey's been there
for three hundred and twelve years. Luxcenate Winston eight, Nikola
Willers seven. I'm I'm a little disappointed in that. I
would have given her an eight. Personally, Bishop nine I
tend to agree with because he's omnipresent. Simeon Brown eight,
because he's omnipresent. Erica Stanford eight or nine. I would

(04:37):
have given her an eight and nine. She's a favorite
of mine. Paul Goldsmith at seven fair enough. I could
do better, Paul. I should have toddhim that if I'd
read the article when he's on the Programmiler, I said,
do better, Paul. Judith Collins nine, very comfortable. Probably not
a leader, but in her own realm, very very comfortable.
Shane Retty, you have six. See that's the worst score

(04:57):
you've got. Guy got sacked. He got sacked because he
was useless, and he still gets a six. That's how
much Audrey loves the National Party. Mark Mitchell eight, Tod
Clay eight, done a lot of deals. I would have
given a nine. Personally, he's been out there hustling for
the country. Doocey, sorry, my apologies. Doocey's you were performing
National minister at five invisible. He's got mental health, but

(05:19):
I mean, what do you do with mental health? For
goodness sake? Shane Jones, the aforementioned Shane Johns. So what
I'm going to call him Shane John's swag them?

Speaker 4 (05:28):
Do you listen to Mike Hoskins Eight? Fair enough?

Speaker 3 (05:33):
I like Shane Costello six okay. C c Seymour's and eight.
Brook van Veldens are seven to Cole mckey's of seven.
They're all good scores. People outside of cabinet. Gregg Nikola
got five, but she was away for six months on parentally,
you can't blame her for that. And Audrey also marks
her down for press releases. She goes, he's only released
eight press releases in seventeen months. Well, I mean is

(05:53):
that a thing?

Speaker 2 (05:54):
Are you allowed to mak people down when they're away?

Speaker 3 (05:57):
No, of course you can't, exactly, And I'd mark her.
I'd mark her up for putting out no press releases.
It's like the Met Service. The Met Service put out
plenty of press releases.

Speaker 2 (06:05):
Look you know, I mean I'm marking her down for having.

Speaker 3 (06:08):
A check Karen Chaw for seven, that's okay, Mark Patterson six,
he's big on the wall. I like Mark. So overall,
you can't really find anyone within a government, a three
party government that Audrey sees is not doing a pretty
reasonable job. But anyway, I've worked through the detail. Anytime
you like, go go immediately to the latest whether alert.
There'll be one there and then you can read Audrey's piece.

Speaker 2 (06:30):
I mean, are they just reprinting those whether alerts cynically
like to make so people can make fun of him more.
It is a bit strange, especially in the paper. I mean,
surely by the time it makes the payper, it's going
to be so wrong at that point, doesn't it wrap.
I mean, it'd be like calling Mike Hosking a completely

(06:52):
wrong name, just over and over and over again.

Speaker 3 (06:54):
I was this time yesterday we're talking to Shane Jones
on the program. Little do we know the upset that
was being caused in another program on this very fine
station of the country, which is hosted by Jamie McKay.
Of course, had Shane Jones on later in the day,
and this, of course proved to be slightly problematic.

Speaker 5 (07:12):
Shane, You've got to do me a favor. Hoskin keeps
cutting my lunch. I arranged an interview with you a
day or so ago. This morning, I hear you first
thing on Hosking. Have you no shame.

Speaker 4 (07:23):
Well, I and my leader, Winston Peters, have a deep
level of affection for your listenership and you in particular. However,
one third of the country's population do live in Auckland,
and a fierce wag them do listen to Mike Hoskins.
So you know, needs must.

Speaker 3 (07:41):
What a prick? Where do you get the name from?

Speaker 5 (07:47):
What is it about uniw Zealand? First, guys, you all
call Hosking Hoskins.

Speaker 4 (07:52):
Yeah, it could be a dialectoral thing from us from
the north. Too much pooh and power and Deli red wine.
I can't fully account for that.

Speaker 3 (08:01):
Yeah, a part from fact is wrong and you just
copies Winston Anyway. By the end of it, Jamie got
it back together.

Speaker 5 (08:07):
Hey, Shane Jones, thanks very much for your time on
the Country. Always entertaining. And next time mister Hoskins asks
for an interview, tell him you've already been booked for
the country.

Speaker 4 (08:16):
Kay, country first, Hoskins second by I.

Speaker 2 (08:20):
So yeah, I mean, obviously it's mentioned the Winston Peters
is famous for mispronunciating Hosking as well. I don't even
know that it's weird that so many people do get
it wrong. It is a sort of a Mandella effect.
I blame Bob Hoskins. There's another Hoskins who plays for

(08:42):
South Africa and the rugby isn't there Stutu Hoskins. Is
that what his name is? But I wonder, you know,
are there actually more Hoskins in Hoskins plural than there
are people with the last name Hosking. I went to
school with somebody whose last name was Hosking. I don't

(09:05):
think she was in relation to this particular Hosking, so
I know too, And I don't know any other Hoskins
or Hoskins personally, So they're doing it deliberately.

Speaker 4 (09:19):
Rerabit all right.

Speaker 2 (09:21):
Who doesn't love a COVID inquiry? I reckon we should
just keep having them forever.

Speaker 3 (09:25):
Now I think I'm encouraged. I think I am anyway
by the numbers of submissions into the COVID Inquiry. We
remembering this as COVID Inquiry Part two. Submissions close Sunday.

Speaker 1 (09:33):
Now.

Speaker 3 (09:33):
The Part two is to try and rectify the stitch
up that was COVID Part one from the previous government,
who were determined to set criteria that would not expose
the true damage they brought upon most of us. Now
thirty one thousand have had their say. This time it
has pointed out they've come from all ages, all locations,
and they were both positive as well as negative. Positive
as interesting, I mean, given health New Zealand submitted on

(09:55):
whether Wanaker should have a McDonald's. Do not underestimate the
establishment's ability to spend in an indecent amount of time
and money in putting a best case scenario forward in
a butt covering exercise. This part of the inquiry looks
into masks, mandates of axes and lockdowns. One thousand tells
me we are still very much exercised about the historic
nature of the event and our keenness to try and
come up with something that sees nothing like a repeat

(10:17):
of the last exercise and not the other day. Poor
old Chris Hipkins still tries to walk that very fine
line between admitting they were in charge of a balls
up and pretending it went mostly well. He's in, of course,
an unwinnable place, as the last sap left standing given
a Durnam Robertson a long gone He's got the sorry
task of defending what really worse some astonishingly poor decisions.
But that doesn't mean the inquiry will come up with answers,

(10:39):
I mean what answers. Answers to what will a pandemic
be the same or similar or not similar at all?
What sort of government will be in Will that government
be competent or experience? What role will the public service play?
Will epidemiologists become household names all over again? Will New
Zealanders sink into a myopic funk waiting for a leader
to tell them what sort of stuffed animal to put
in the window? What made last time so bad was

(11:00):
the control, and out of the control came the anger
and the fear. I'm not sure an inquiry can dictate
answers or solutions around emotion, but thirty one one thousand
submissions tells you the emotion is still very, very real.
At least in putting the part two part on, we
attempt to recognize how profound those dark and troubled days
really were.

Speaker 2 (11:18):
Do you reckon the people who make submissions are doing
so in the hope that if there's another epidemic like COVID,
it'll be handled differently, Or do you reckon they're just
hoping that by making if they make a submission submissions,
they'll never be another epidemic like COVID. Some I wonder
if it's that second thing, the re wrap exciting. It's

(11:41):
the most livapool city in the world. Time again.

Speaker 3 (11:45):
I've got the rating for Wellington and Auckland as far
as the world's best liberal cities. This is the IEES
Cities in Motion Index, if you can call Wellington in
motion one hundred and eighty three cities, ninety two countries,
nine areas of marking human capital, social cohesion, economy, governance, environment, mobility, transportation,

(12:06):
urban planning, international profile, technology. How you measure half that stuff?
I've got no idea. It's rawt it's crap. It's complete crap.
I don't know why they waste their time on it,
mainly so people like me can fill a couple of
seconds on this program, might suspect looks at more than
one hundred different metrics anyway, Auckland forty two, Wellington sixty.
The best cities in the world. Let's go ten through one.
San Francisco. See that's why it's crap. I've been to

(12:27):
San Francisco recently. Is it is a dog's breakfast? Singapore?
Love It, Oslo, Copenhagen or Copenhagen, Washington, Berlin, Tokyo, Paris,
New York, and the number one city in the world, London.
And I think we'd go so say all of us.

(12:48):
My daughter's moving to London. She got a job the
other day. We're very proud of her. She's moving from
Melbourne to London. I thought that's a good that's see,
they're all leaving, they're all going. I'd done up. They're
river coming back. So forty percent of our children are
now in Europe. Forty percent says something, doesn't.

Speaker 2 (13:01):
It And as you know, that's a lot of kids.
So ironically, London and New York are probably two of
the last cities I would want to even go to,
let alone, living different different strokes with different folks. I

(13:23):
guess I am a green hat. Don't worry, I'm not
going off to live in either of those cities. I'm
just going to stay in this one for now, and
I'll be back here again tomorrow with another one of these.

Speaker 1 (13:35):
Cvent for more from news Talks. There'd be listen live
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