April 24, 2018 • 16 mins
Let's be real, Hitler’s probably the most famous person…ever. In episode 0 Robert is joined by Jack O'Brien (The Daily Zeitgeist) and they discuss young Hitler, his hipster wardrobe and his horrible farts.
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hello everybody. I am Robert Evans, and this is Behind
the Bastards, the podcast where we take you through all
of the strange things you didn't know about the very
worst people in all of history. With me today is
Jack O'Brien, my once and future boss. We worked together
at Cracked for like more than a decade, long time,
yea very long time. Uh yeah. I am thrilled to
(00:25):
be here, thrilled to be launching a podcast with the
Robert Evans, who you know, started the personal Experience section
at Cracked, wrote some of our most popular articles. And yeah,
one of the things you were always good at is
finding out interesting information about awful, awful people. Um yeah, yeah.
(00:47):
I think the genesis of this might have come after
the revolution in Ukraine where that quasi dictator Yunukovic got
kicked out and he did this press conference afterwards where
he was like shouting at how angry he was, and
he tried to break a pencil to like emphasize a point,
but he had a pin in his hands and it
just bent. And so there's just like twenty seconds of
this dictator trying to break a pin and failing. And
(01:08):
that's the stuff I want to like the sad like
Michael Scott from the Office moments in the lives of
all these like nightmarish dictators who who started wars and
you know, ruined hundreds of thousands or millions of lives.
They're all such like weird, sad people when you really
get right down to them, right. Yeah. One of our
most popular articles that Cracked was you reading every single
(01:29):
edition of the Isis Like magazine that was almost like
a seventeen for Isis kids. Yeah, it's like they're people. Yeah,
it's always like these monsters and their monster's regimes are
always like there's this beautiful layer of the absurd that
if you can get past the nightmarish human suffering, like,
there's a lot to just goggle at. Yeah, it's amazing.
(01:50):
So in addition to being a really funny dude, Robert
is also a really great journalist. The Personal Experience section
of the Cracked site was where he would interview people
with just really crazy or harrowing or interesting life experiences
and then you would put together these articles that were,
you know, funny but really interesting accounts that you've never
(02:12):
heard before of, like what it's like to be on Heroin,
what it's like to uh be on math a lot
of drugs stuff mostly that. Yeah, but um, you know,
all sorts of interesting stories, things that uh truck drivers
se out on the highway, which included a lot of
people having sex apparently. Um but yeah, So this was
(02:35):
one of the ideas when we decided that you were
allowed to work with me again. Uh, this was I
think the first idea you pitched, and uh, I got
super excited right away. Yeah, I just I love talking
about terrible people. You get a deeper understanding of the
world when you understand these guys, monsters like Saddam Hussein
(02:56):
and Osama bin Laden and good old fashioned Hitler, Nikolaich
chest Go, like all these dictators, but they're also just
like like we're gonna be talking about later in the
in the series, we're gonna be talking about like Hitler's
young adult fiction novels that he based his plans for
World War two on, And we'll be talking about like
osamban Laden's love of Hollywood movies and how he'd use
(03:17):
it to jazz up his fighters before like going into battle.
Like all these ridiculous stories that add like so much
color to these people's lives and help explain like why
they did the ship they did, like, but also you know,
puncture the myth, like we mythologize and make these people
into just these huge icons of you know, their Darth
(03:37):
Vader type of people. And uh, actually they have bal
problems as well. Talk about today. Yeah, that's what we're
getting into today. Adolf Hitler, warlord, uh monster, history's greatest
evil and also a ridiculous, farting hipster in his twenties
and thirties. Yeah, so you're giving them a little taste
of what they would get in a normal episode, just
(03:59):
a quick, quick in and out. Yeah. Yeah, I think
a lot of people feel like they know the fewer
pretty well. You know, you've seen a lot of Hitler
and movies and TV shows, and he's usually either this
like psychopathic yeah yeah, yeah, he's either like the psychopathic
powerful warlord or the broken, trembling wreck of a person
in downfall. And those are both accurate to certain periods.
(04:20):
But you never see nerdy hipster Hitler portrayed in fiction,
do not. So. When Hitler was a teenager and a
young adult, his best friend was a violinist named August
Kuba check Um. Now, after the war kuba Check wrote
a book about Hitler called The Young Hitler I Knew
And It's weird because Hitler and kuba Check had a
very weird relationship. In the book, kuba Check writes about
(04:44):
a time when Hitler went with him to the funeral
for kuba Checks violent teacher, which quote rather surprised me,
as he did not know Professor Desaur at all. When
I expressed my surprise, he said, I can't bear it
that you should mix with other young people and talk
to them. So that's that's the kind of friend, young
little showing up at stranger's funerals. So his friend doesn't
(05:05):
talk to anyone else. Um. So one night in nineteen five,
kuba Check and Hitler are on a walk and Hitler's
you know, ranting about Hitler stuff, which he apparently did
from the time he was like fifteen on up. That's adorable,
like just a smaller version of himself, but just always ranting.
He's always been yelling about stuff. Uh. And so during
(05:25):
this walk they see a quote slim blonde girl, and
Hitler grabs his friend's arm and says, you must know
I'm in love with her now. God. According to kuba
Check's book, Hitler made obsessed with this girl for like
four straight years. He never talked to her, he never
told her how we felt. He never flirted with her,
but he forced his best friend to spy on her
(05:46):
and report back to him for years. Um, there's like
all these crazy little like one time, there's this parade
and she's one of the girls who's like handing out
flowers at the parade, and she like throws one to
Hitler just because he's in the crowd, and he's like
that was a secret sign that she loves me. Like
he's full on nuts um. So he never talks to
this girl, not once, but he becomes convinced that she
(06:08):
loves him too, and that you know, all these different
things that his friend is reporting on her doing or
like her sending him secret messages because he's nuts um.
After the war, someone tracked her down and let her
know that like Hitler had had a crush on her
when they were kids, and she was like, I have
no idea, but she did say, I once received a
letter from someone who said they were to attend the
(06:28):
Academy of Arts and that I should wait for him
he could come back and marry me. I had no
idea who the letter might have been from or who
I should have sent it to. So that's do you
think it's like the social network thing where everything he
did was secretly for this woman, like maybe she'll love
me now. I think that there's a little bit of
that there, because she was always dating young Austrian soldiers
(06:49):
and Hitler kind of had a chip on his shoulder
about the army because they were all these like good looking,
fit guys and he was like this sick, pale kid
who couldn't talk to girls. Um. See, I feel like
there's a little bit of that going on. But as
he grew up, Hitler got a little bit less awkward,
not a lot less awkward, but a little bit. Uh.
And in his mid twenties, when his political career was
still young, he started to make some rich friends. One
(07:11):
of them was a cultured, wealthy German named Hampstengel uh.
And so this rich dude frequently would have Hitler over
for dinner, but he and his wife were appalled by
the man's lack of table manners uh And at one point,
Hopstengle reports being horrified that Hitler was caught pouring sugar
in fine wine so that he could drink it, which
is like, God, it's like a Michael Scott moment, right,
(07:34):
barbarian Right, someone hands, I'm like, here's this, you know,
decade old French wine, and I'm gonna take my wine
with two lumps of sugar. Yeah, wow, that's great. Yeah.
So Hitler's a classy guy. But as he grew older
into his thirties and stuff, and his political career blew up,
he started to make some actual money, mainly from like
(07:55):
Nazi Party dues and stuff, and you know, he put
a lot of that money into perfecting his look, which
would not be at all out of place in an
all right gathering today. In the biography Hitler by Ian
Kershaw Uh, Kershawn notes that the young fearer war quote
a trilby, a light colored raincoat, leather leggings, and a
writing whip. Yeah that's like his leather shorts and a
(08:18):
fedora and a whip is how this guy's walking around. Yeah. Um,
Hitler in the nineteen twenties was never without a whip.
Another description from the book notes quote in his gangster
hat and trench coat over his dinner jacket, touting a
pistol and carrying as usual his dog whip. He cut
a bizarre figure in the salons of Munich's upper crust.
Whip dog whip. Yeah yeah. Hitler impressed girls by whipping
(08:43):
dogs with his hippopotamus hyde whip. Uh yeah. And also people.
When Hitler would get into fights, you know, there were
all these brawls, he would just pull out a whip
and start whipping folks. I thought whips were cool when
I was like six. Yeah. Yeah. Hitler didn't grow out
of that, and it spent like a solid decade and
never leaving the house without a hippopotamus with the whip,
just beating people with a whip. Um. So yeah, that's
(09:06):
young Hitler walking around in a trill, be in a
trench coat, hitting people in animals with whips. Uh. And
he went by the nickname har Wolf and made all
of his friends call him Mr Wolf or the Wolf. Uh.
And that was another thing he kept doing his entire
life because during the invasion of Russia, his secret headquarters
was called the Wolf's Lair is hair Wolf, Mr Wolf Yeah,
(09:28):
Mr wolf Man. That is a bad nickname. That's that
was Hitler's nickname for himself that he made everyone call
him by he signed his love letters wolf Wolf is okay,
but Mr Wolf, he's just silly. Yeah. Well, the real
meat that I want to get into here is the
story of Hitler's terrible farts and how they impacted history.
(09:49):
So we've set it up. Hitler's you know, walking around
in a trill, be in a trench coat, wielding a whip,
hitting dogs all the time. But he's also farting constantly.
Because Hitler suffered through his entire life from what was
then known as meteorism, which is uncontrollable flatulence. Uh. He
initially adopted his vegetarian diet so that his farts would
get better, but they only made his farts worse. Hitler's
(10:12):
farts were a constant source of embarrassment and important political meetings.
There's all these tales of like before he was in power,
when he was still like in politics and stuff, like
him meeting with all of these other German politicians and
like just couldn't stop farting, and tiny and closed rooms
and train cars, and it just ruins these these meetings
where he's trying to like, you know, establish a consensus
(10:34):
government or whatever. But this isn't a thing that he's
overly sensitive about and you know he's worried about it. Oh,
he hates it more than other people. But it's it's
actually a thing where everybody else is like, Oh, there
goes Hitler, the guy who ends meetings by farting too much. Well,
it was usually he would do a lot of dinner
meetings and he would flee the room at the end
(10:54):
of dinner like something. They would just Sometimes he would
just run out, like right afterwards and hide for the
rest of the night because his arts were so bad,
like they would stick his ass out the window. Yeah. Yeah,
So in nineteen thirty six, after he's in power, he
decides he's had enough of his farts, uh, and he
decides to seek professional attention. This brings him into the
(11:15):
orbit of a guy named Theodore Morrell, who was a
fifty year old doctor who primarily worked on actors. So
Morrell prescribed Hitler two different pills for his terrible farts.
The first pills were Mooda floor capsules, which is a
medicine you can still buy to day. They're made from
the poop of a World War One soldier who proved
resilient to dysenterry uh. And that is actual medicine like
you'll get it today for for real stomach issues, poop transplants. Yeah.
(11:39):
The other thing he took were Dr. Kester's anti gas pills,
which were just pure strychnine. Oh right, yeah, yeah, he
got the farts. Yeah. There's no consensus on how much
of an impact taking poison every day for a decade
had on on Hitler. Some people say that it was
probably responsible for his tremors and his like horrible physical
(12:00):
pain and ailments at the time. They it said he
would have needed to take thirty a day of these
pills for them to be toxic. But we know he
was taking like six to ten per meal, like he
was just eating them like candy. Um. And the doctor
kept him constantly, you know, stocked up on anti fart pills. Um.
So there's a U. S. Intelligence report made by the
(12:21):
precursor to the CIA during World War Two that noted
all this. It's it says Hitler complained of meteorism, especially
after eating black bread and cabbage, and an abnormal feeling
in the epi hypogastric region. These symptoms probably were due
to in neuroses, since occasional errors and diets such as
the intake of lentils and pas brought only the normal
amount of complaining. Furthermore, the prescriptions of unsuitable and useless
(12:42):
drugs for these complaints brought about improvement. Epigastric cramps and
vomiting were noted during These were probably the result of
constant strychnine and atropine medications and not of historic origin.
So the CIA thinks Hitler's farts are all in his
head and it's the poison pills and causing his cramps.
It's a weakness of character, as are all farts. Ye So,
(13:03):
Hitler considered Morrell his savior for his anti farting pills,
which apparently seemed to help UH and privately said he
saved my life. Wonderful how he helped me. Um. So
Morrell became Hitler's number one doctor. UH. This led Morrell
to a great wealth and power because he was able
to start manufacturing vitamin pills, first just for Hitler and
then for everyone who wanted to take the same pills
(13:25):
as Hitler UM and presumably in his long like infomercial
career afterwards, as Hitler's number one doctor. Yea, so he
starts giving Hitler different drugs UH. Like the fact that
the farting pills work mean that Hitler trusts Morrell to
do anything. So over the course of World War Two,
we know that Morrell gave Hitler ninety two different medications,
(13:48):
twenty were manufactured by firms that Morrell owned himself, and
most of those had never been scientifically tested, so he
was actually testing out drugs on Hitler. Hitler was his
guinea pig for a lot of meta sins before anyone
else would try them. He'd be like, well, let's see
how it works like Hitler, and then we'll sell him
to the Germans. This makes a lot of sense. Yeah, yeah,
(14:08):
Now there's a common myth that Hitler was addicted to methamphetamine.
That's not quite true. He took a lot of meth
but he didn't take anything all the time because Morrell
kept him on a constant cycle of morphine, methamphetamine, cocaine,
and a variety of other substances. Jesus um So he
had morphine administered about twenty five times from forty three
(14:29):
to forty four for stomach cramps, twenty nine different injections,
and sixty three kinds of oral tablets and skin applications
like he's just doing a carousel of drugs for Hitler.
In his last twenty eight months alive, Hitler had twenty
one injections to treat colds and seven hundred and fifty
seven to restore his energy. Most of those are mixes
of cocaine, methamphetamine, and vitamins. Um. So, yeah, Hitler is
(14:53):
taking just a swinging carousel of random doses of drugs
and vitamins for the entirety of World War too. Uh.
And he doesn't question at any point because these are
being prescribed by the doctor who was able to stop
him from farting Jesus christ Man, yep, didn't. He also
like sleep in till noon every day. Well, he stayed
up really late to write, like back before the year
(15:16):
being injected seven times with ant enemies. Yeah, before the Warriors,
he would stay up until like three or four in
the morning watching American movies and like make all of
his colleagues watch them with him. Stalin did kind of
the same thing, Like that's just a dictator thing, like
forcing people to watch movies with you. But yeah, where
we go, that's the sort of crazy stuff you're gonna
(15:38):
learn about history's biggest villains. I guess on this show. Yep, yep,
we're gonna uncover who was wearing tril bees and who
was farting uncontrollable. Now, what does a tril be Fedora?
It's like the alt rightiest hat that exists. Yeah. Yeah,
so that's one thing I've learned doing this is that
those eight chan Nazis are actually just kind of like
(15:59):
returning to a pattern, and yet none of them have
the balls to rocket Hitler mustache. Yeah, I'm sure they
all have horrible parting problems though. Yeah, they do not
look like a good smelling bunch. Uh well all right,
so yeah, so check back next week. I would recommend
hitting the subscribe button and you will then be able
(16:20):
to listen to our next episode. This has been Behind
the Bastards. You can find us on at Bastard's pot
and Twitter and Instagram and Facebook, or behind the Bastards
dot com on the Internet. I am Robert Evans. Thank
you for listening.
Hello everybody. I am Robert Evans, and this is Behind
the Bastards, the podcast where we take you through all
of the strange things you didn't know about the very
worst people in all of history. With me today is
Jack O'Brien, my once and future boss. We worked together
at Cracked for like more than a decade, long time,
yea very long time. Uh yeah. I am thrilled to
(00:25):
be here, thrilled to be launching a podcast with the
Robert Evans, who you know, started the personal Experience section
at Cracked, wrote some of our most popular articles. And yeah,
one of the things you were always good at is
finding out interesting information about awful, awful people. Um yeah, yeah.
(00:47):
I think the genesis of this might have come after
the revolution in Ukraine where that quasi dictator Yunukovic got
kicked out and he did this press conference afterwards where
he was like shouting at how angry he was, and
he tried to break a pencil to like emphasize a point,
but he had a pin in his hands and it
just bent. And so there's just like twenty seconds of
this dictator trying to break a pin and failing. And
(01:08):
that's the stuff I want to like the sad like
Michael Scott from the Office moments in the lives of
all these like nightmarish dictators who who started wars and
you know, ruined hundreds of thousands or millions of lives.
They're all such like weird, sad people when you really
get right down to them, right. Yeah. One of our
most popular articles that Cracked was you reading every single
(01:29):
edition of the Isis Like magazine that was almost like
a seventeen for Isis kids. Yeah, it's like they're people. Yeah,
it's always like these monsters and their monster's regimes are
always like there's this beautiful layer of the absurd that
if you can get past the nightmarish human suffering, like,
there's a lot to just goggle at. Yeah, it's amazing.
(01:50):
So in addition to being a really funny dude, Robert
is also a really great journalist. The Personal Experience section
of the Cracked site was where he would interview people
with just really crazy or harrowing or interesting life experiences
and then you would put together these articles that were,
you know, funny but really interesting accounts that you've never
(02:12):
heard before of, like what it's like to be on Heroin,
what it's like to uh be on math a lot
of drugs stuff mostly that. Yeah, but um, you know,
all sorts of interesting stories, things that uh truck drivers
se out on the highway, which included a lot of
people having sex apparently. Um but yeah, So this was
(02:35):
one of the ideas when we decided that you were
allowed to work with me again. Uh, this was I
think the first idea you pitched, and uh, I got
super excited right away. Yeah, I just I love talking
about terrible people. You get a deeper understanding of the
world when you understand these guys, monsters like Saddam Hussein
(02:56):
and Osama bin Laden and good old fashioned Hitler, Nikolaich
chest Go, like all these dictators, but they're also just
like like we're gonna be talking about later in the
in the series, we're gonna be talking about like Hitler's
young adult fiction novels that he based his plans for
World War two on, And we'll be talking about like
osamban Laden's love of Hollywood movies and how he'd use
(03:17):
it to jazz up his fighters before like going into battle.
Like all these ridiculous stories that add like so much
color to these people's lives and help explain like why
they did the ship they did, like, but also you know,
puncture the myth, like we mythologize and make these people
into just these huge icons of you know, their Darth
(03:37):
Vader type of people. And uh, actually they have bal
problems as well. Talk about today. Yeah, that's what we're
getting into today. Adolf Hitler, warlord, uh monster, history's greatest
evil and also a ridiculous, farting hipster in his twenties
and thirties. Yeah, so you're giving them a little taste
of what they would get in a normal episode, just
(03:59):
a quick, quick in and out. Yeah. Yeah, I think
a lot of people feel like they know the fewer
pretty well. You know, you've seen a lot of Hitler
and movies and TV shows, and he's usually either this
like psychopathic yeah yeah, yeah, he's either like the psychopathic
powerful warlord or the broken, trembling wreck of a person
in downfall. And those are both accurate to certain periods.
(04:20):
But you never see nerdy hipster Hitler portrayed in fiction,
do not. So. When Hitler was a teenager and a
young adult, his best friend was a violinist named August
Kuba check Um. Now, after the war kuba Check wrote
a book about Hitler called The Young Hitler I Knew
And It's weird because Hitler and kuba Check had a
very weird relationship. In the book, kuba Check writes about
(04:44):
a time when Hitler went with him to the funeral
for kuba Checks violent teacher, which quote rather surprised me,
as he did not know Professor Desaur at all. When
I expressed my surprise, he said, I can't bear it
that you should mix with other young people and talk
to them. So that's that's the kind of friend, young
little showing up at stranger's funerals. So his friend doesn't
(05:05):
talk to anyone else. Um. So one night in nineteen five,
kuba Check and Hitler are on a walk and Hitler's
you know, ranting about Hitler stuff, which he apparently did
from the time he was like fifteen on up. That's adorable,
like just a smaller version of himself, but just always ranting.
He's always been yelling about stuff. Uh. And so during
(05:25):
this walk they see a quote slim blonde girl, and
Hitler grabs his friend's arm and says, you must know
I'm in love with her now. God. According to kuba
Check's book, Hitler made obsessed with this girl for like
four straight years. He never talked to her, he never
told her how we felt. He never flirted with her,
but he forced his best friend to spy on her
(05:46):
and report back to him for years. Um, there's like
all these crazy little like one time, there's this parade
and she's one of the girls who's like handing out
flowers at the parade, and she like throws one to
Hitler just because he's in the crowd, and he's like
that was a secret sign that she loves me. Like
he's full on nuts um. So he never talks to
this girl, not once, but he becomes convinced that she
(06:08):
loves him too, and that you know, all these different
things that his friend is reporting on her doing or
like her sending him secret messages because he's nuts um.
After the war, someone tracked her down and let her
know that like Hitler had had a crush on her
when they were kids, and she was like, I have
no idea, but she did say, I once received a
letter from someone who said they were to attend the
(06:28):
Academy of Arts and that I should wait for him
he could come back and marry me. I had no
idea who the letter might have been from or who
I should have sent it to. So that's do you
think it's like the social network thing where everything he
did was secretly for this woman, like maybe she'll love
me now. I think that there's a little bit of
that there, because she was always dating young Austrian soldiers
(06:49):
and Hitler kind of had a chip on his shoulder
about the army because they were all these like good looking,
fit guys and he was like this sick, pale kid
who couldn't talk to girls. Um. See, I feel like
there's a little bit of that going on. But as
he grew up, Hitler got a little bit less awkward,
not a lot less awkward, but a little bit. Uh.
And in his mid twenties, when his political career was
still young, he started to make some rich friends. One
(07:11):
of them was a cultured, wealthy German named Hampstengel uh.
And so this rich dude frequently would have Hitler over
for dinner, but he and his wife were appalled by
the man's lack of table manners uh And at one point,
Hopstengle reports being horrified that Hitler was caught pouring sugar
in fine wine so that he could drink it, which
is like, God, it's like a Michael Scott moment, right,
(07:34):
barbarian Right, someone hands, I'm like, here's this, you know,
decade old French wine, and I'm gonna take my wine
with two lumps of sugar. Yeah, wow, that's great. Yeah.
So Hitler's a classy guy. But as he grew older
into his thirties and stuff, and his political career blew up,
he started to make some actual money, mainly from like
(07:55):
Nazi Party dues and stuff, and you know, he put
a lot of that money into perfecting his look, which
would not be at all out of place in an
all right gathering today. In the biography Hitler by Ian
Kershaw Uh, Kershawn notes that the young fearer war quote
a trilby, a light colored raincoat, leather leggings, and a
writing whip. Yeah that's like his leather shorts and a
(08:18):
fedora and a whip is how this guy's walking around. Yeah. Um,
Hitler in the nineteen twenties was never without a whip.
Another description from the book notes quote in his gangster
hat and trench coat over his dinner jacket, touting a
pistol and carrying as usual his dog whip. He cut
a bizarre figure in the salons of Munich's upper crust.
Whip dog whip. Yeah yeah. Hitler impressed girls by whipping
(08:43):
dogs with his hippopotamus hyde whip. Uh yeah. And also people.
When Hitler would get into fights, you know, there were
all these brawls, he would just pull out a whip
and start whipping folks. I thought whips were cool when
I was like six. Yeah. Yeah. Hitler didn't grow out
of that, and it spent like a solid decade and
never leaving the house without a hippopotamus with the whip,
just beating people with a whip. Um. So yeah, that's
(09:06):
young Hitler walking around in a trill, be in a
trench coat, hitting people in animals with whips. Uh. And
he went by the nickname har Wolf and made all
of his friends call him Mr Wolf or the Wolf. Uh.
And that was another thing he kept doing his entire
life because during the invasion of Russia, his secret headquarters
was called the Wolf's Lair is hair Wolf, Mr Wolf Yeah,
(09:28):
Mr wolf Man. That is a bad nickname. That's that
was Hitler's nickname for himself that he made everyone call
him by he signed his love letters wolf Wolf is okay,
but Mr Wolf, he's just silly. Yeah. Well, the real
meat that I want to get into here is the
story of Hitler's terrible farts and how they impacted history.
(09:49):
So we've set it up. Hitler's you know, walking around
in a trill, be in a trench coat, wielding a whip,
hitting dogs all the time. But he's also farting constantly.
Because Hitler suffered through his entire life from what was
then known as meteorism, which is uncontrollable flatulence. Uh. He
initially adopted his vegetarian diet so that his farts would
get better, but they only made his farts worse. Hitler's
(10:12):
farts were a constant source of embarrassment and important political meetings.
There's all these tales of like before he was in power,
when he was still like in politics and stuff, like
him meeting with all of these other German politicians and
like just couldn't stop farting, and tiny and closed rooms
and train cars, and it just ruins these these meetings
where he's trying to like, you know, establish a consensus
(10:34):
government or whatever. But this isn't a thing that he's
overly sensitive about and you know he's worried about it. Oh,
he hates it more than other people. But it's it's
actually a thing where everybody else is like, Oh, there
goes Hitler, the guy who ends meetings by farting too much. Well,
it was usually he would do a lot of dinner
meetings and he would flee the room at the end
(10:54):
of dinner like something. They would just Sometimes he would
just run out, like right afterwards and hide for the
rest of the night because his arts were so bad,
like they would stick his ass out the window. Yeah. Yeah,
So in nineteen thirty six, after he's in power, he
decides he's had enough of his farts, uh, and he
decides to seek professional attention. This brings him into the
(11:15):
orbit of a guy named Theodore Morrell, who was a
fifty year old doctor who primarily worked on actors. So
Morrell prescribed Hitler two different pills for his terrible farts.
The first pills were Mooda floor capsules, which is a
medicine you can still buy to day. They're made from
the poop of a World War One soldier who proved
resilient to dysenterry uh. And that is actual medicine like
you'll get it today for for real stomach issues, poop transplants. Yeah.
(11:39):
The other thing he took were Dr. Kester's anti gas pills,
which were just pure strychnine. Oh right, yeah, yeah, he
got the farts. Yeah. There's no consensus on how much
of an impact taking poison every day for a decade
had on on Hitler. Some people say that it was
probably responsible for his tremors and his like horrible physical
(12:00):
pain and ailments at the time. They it said he
would have needed to take thirty a day of these
pills for them to be toxic. But we know he
was taking like six to ten per meal, like he
was just eating them like candy. Um. And the doctor
kept him constantly, you know, stocked up on anti fart pills. Um.
So there's a U. S. Intelligence report made by the
(12:21):
precursor to the CIA during World War Two that noted
all this. It's it says Hitler complained of meteorism, especially
after eating black bread and cabbage, and an abnormal feeling
in the epi hypogastric region. These symptoms probably were due
to in neuroses, since occasional errors and diets such as
the intake of lentils and pas brought only the normal
amount of complaining. Furthermore, the prescriptions of unsuitable and useless
(12:42):
drugs for these complaints brought about improvement. Epigastric cramps and
vomiting were noted during These were probably the result of
constant strychnine and atropine medications and not of historic origin.
So the CIA thinks Hitler's farts are all in his
head and it's the poison pills and causing his cramps.
It's a weakness of character, as are all farts. Ye So,
(13:03):
Hitler considered Morrell his savior for his anti farting pills,
which apparently seemed to help UH and privately said he
saved my life. Wonderful how he helped me. Um. So
Morrell became Hitler's number one doctor. UH. This led Morrell
to a great wealth and power because he was able
to start manufacturing vitamin pills, first just for Hitler and
then for everyone who wanted to take the same pills
(13:25):
as Hitler UM and presumably in his long like infomercial
career afterwards, as Hitler's number one doctor. Yea, so he
starts giving Hitler different drugs UH. Like the fact that
the farting pills work mean that Hitler trusts Morrell to
do anything. So over the course of World War Two,
we know that Morrell gave Hitler ninety two different medications,
(13:48):
twenty were manufactured by firms that Morrell owned himself, and
most of those had never been scientifically tested, so he
was actually testing out drugs on Hitler. Hitler was his
guinea pig for a lot of meta sins before anyone
else would try them. He'd be like, well, let's see
how it works like Hitler, and then we'll sell him
to the Germans. This makes a lot of sense. Yeah, yeah,
(14:08):
Now there's a common myth that Hitler was addicted to methamphetamine.
That's not quite true. He took a lot of meth
but he didn't take anything all the time because Morrell
kept him on a constant cycle of morphine, methamphetamine, cocaine,
and a variety of other substances. Jesus um So he
had morphine administered about twenty five times from forty three
(14:29):
to forty four for stomach cramps, twenty nine different injections,
and sixty three kinds of oral tablets and skin applications
like he's just doing a carousel of drugs for Hitler.
In his last twenty eight months alive, Hitler had twenty
one injections to treat colds and seven hundred and fifty
seven to restore his energy. Most of those are mixes
of cocaine, methamphetamine, and vitamins. Um. So, yeah, Hitler is
(14:53):
taking just a swinging carousel of random doses of drugs
and vitamins for the entirety of World War too. Uh.
And he doesn't question at any point because these are
being prescribed by the doctor who was able to stop
him from farting Jesus christ Man, yep, didn't. He also
like sleep in till noon every day. Well, he stayed
up really late to write, like back before the year
(15:16):
being injected seven times with ant enemies. Yeah, before the Warriors,
he would stay up until like three or four in
the morning watching American movies and like make all of
his colleagues watch them with him. Stalin did kind of
the same thing, Like that's just a dictator thing, like
forcing people to watch movies with you. But yeah, where
we go, that's the sort of crazy stuff you're gonna
(15:38):
learn about history's biggest villains. I guess on this show. Yep, yep,
we're gonna uncover who was wearing tril bees and who
was farting uncontrollable. Now, what does a tril be Fedora?
It's like the alt rightiest hat that exists. Yeah. Yeah,
so that's one thing I've learned doing this is that
those eight chan Nazis are actually just kind of like
(15:59):
returning to a pattern, and yet none of them have
the balls to rocket Hitler mustache. Yeah, I'm sure they
all have horrible parting problems though. Yeah, they do not
look like a good smelling bunch. Uh well all right,
so yeah, so check back next week. I would recommend
hitting the subscribe button and you will then be able
(16:20):
to listen to our next episode. This has been Behind
the Bastards. You can find us on at Bastard's pot
and Twitter and Instagram and Facebook, or behind the Bastards
dot com on the Internet. I am Robert Evans. Thank
you for listening.
Behind the Bastards News
Host
Robert Evans
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