The Libertarian Theme Park of your Dreams/Nightmares

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey, you daylight, come and we start the pod. All
the podcasts, potty potty cast cast, it's a podcast and
it's started. Jesus, I don't know why I committed to
that so much. That was at no point was that good. Um,

(00:23):
this is Behind the Bastards, a podcast that's incompetently introduced
by a hack and a fraud. I E me uh
And you know what, I had a great script. We're
finally going to do the Will Wheaton episode. I wrote
words on it really really jarring, horrifying stuff. But I'm
so ashamed of that introduction, so ashamed that the last
minute I'm canceling our normal guest. We're bringing on Garrison.

(00:46):
He's reading an episode instead. Nobody gets the podcast episodes. Now,
I'm ashamed. I was really looking forward to the four
hour Will Wheaton podcast, but six hours. Yeah, you know, honestly,
I think it was too dark. I don't think Spotify
would have put it up. There was just too high
a body count. You know, we can talk about maw

(01:07):
or the British Empire, Hitler, but when you get to
Will Wheaton, you know, that's that's a lot. That's a
lot of corpses. That's a lot of corpses well, and
it's like several rob zombies worth of corpses. Um. Garrison's here, Hello,
that was a house of a so so so I
saw somebody that said that one Garrison and Chris come
on that they have to turn their podcast speed to half.

(01:30):
I know you guys talk. Yeah, we're working on that.
I mean both of you and Chris are no. I
think that they need to get used to because that's
how the youth. I think. I think both Garrison and
Chris need to slow down a bit. This is a
process of learning. Everybody, everybody has a learning process with podcasting.
That's what we're doing. We're we're all we're all finding

(01:51):
our voice. You look, listen to the earlier episodes of
this show. It took me some time. It takes everybody
some time, and they're doing great. But yes, it is
important to go slow when you're reading. Because the good
thing thing is that I've only had two shots of
espresso this morning, so that's good. Oh so you're not
even away and it is morning. For Garrison, we had
to get him up. I had to get up with

(02:11):
him at eleven a m. Yesterday, which was just a nightmare.
For both of us to interview. It was, and it
was worse because we were both interviewing someone who's work
we admire, and that was just just the worst. Just
an absolute interviewing a competent person as you're struggling to
keep your eyes open is not super fun. Oh, in
the moment he came on the screen, it was David
Wallace Wells, author of The Uninhabitable Earth. The instant he

(02:34):
came on the screen, I was like, Oh, that's a
fucking morning person. That's a guy he gets absolutely, absolutely
earlier than it was. Just I felt like such a
piece of ship. True, that's funny, Yeah, that's this well yeah,
um well, what are we talking. We're talking about amusement

(02:58):
parks a matter of fact. Um now, I actually really
like amusement parks. Not not so much as in like
I enjoy being in them, but more like I find
their whole like design, their structures, their engineering, and like
surrounding culture extremely fascinating. Yeah. I can see that. I can't.
I've been to the beach with you on a number
of occasions. Garrison. I can't fathom you at an amusement park.

(03:21):
It's real funny. So maybe maybe the Star Wars did.
I'm excited. I've never never been to Disneyland, but like
I I like learning about it and its whole like
process because I think just like I can't imagine you
like in board shorts at a six Flags going down
a water slide. I've I've never I've I've never warned
bard shorts, but I had one of six Flags. Um
when when I would take when I would take trips

(03:42):
from Canada down to Texas to visit a family, one
of the highlights was visiting six Flags over Texas in Dallas.
Um So, I happened. I happened to be a really
big like Luney Tunes and Batman fan, because those are
some of the there was. There was some of the
few TV shows we were allowed to watch his kids.
Dallas is a Looney Tunes town, and and and the

(04:03):
six Flags there was was the first six legs. Um
and it's you know, it's it's it's all like Warner
Properties and stuff. Um So, but yeah, but like I uh,
the best part for me was going to the Gotham
City area with all of it's like set dressing and
Batman rides. Now before you go like Pooh, pooing how
Batman's a fascist or whatever, which he's not. Sometimes he's
he's sometimes not a fascist. There's actually there's a good

(04:25):
there's a good video essay strong arguments there. There's a
there's a good video essay by a guy named thought
Slime about how Batman isn't always fashy but he is
sometimes but any but the Batman at six Legs is
like the Tim Burton or like animated series one. So
it's fine, um, but it also means like all of
like the sets and architecture look really cool because it's
like this like gothic, um like neo, like our deco

(04:48):
kind of stuff. Um, it's it's very fun. All this
to say. The main ride they had there was called
Batman the Ride, and it was kind of like flying
in the bat Wing, but on a roller coaster. It
was the first ever inverted ler coaster, so like you're
strapped into a hard harness and belt while sitting on
a small seat and your legs are like dangling in
the air. Um, it's a fun ride. But one of

(05:08):
the things we talked about was that Batman the Ride
had killed two people in it's in its short history.
That was always the best thing about six Flags because
as as a kid, when you go with a group
of like your cousins, you all want to go to
all of the rights that have killed people. So you
like look that ship up ahead of time to ride
the rides that killed kids. You could be better than
that kid like you fucking died on this ride, you loser,

(05:31):
Like what are you doing so diing on a ride?
So but both both of them and the ride deaths
happened the same way. Um people actually ventured past the
fence into the off limits area under the ride, and
riders dangling legs um hit people in the off limits
area and they died of blunt force trauma. And a

(05:52):
one I think like a seventeen year old on a
youth group church trip was decapitated actually by the force.
I mean have been on a couple of youth group
church trips. That's the best case scenario for one of those,
really is you get decapitated and you don't have to
get back on the bus with everybody. So these these
deaths are not like one hundred percent six Flags is

(06:14):
fault because it was a fenced off area off limits,
but the track could have easily been higher to not
have like this risk at all. Like you don't need
people's legs close enough to the ground for this. Um,
Like I don't. I think we've got enough people as
it is. So it seems like six flags did us all. Anyway, Sorry,
you're doing it just a casual manslaughter pill, okay, But

(06:36):
like some parks are kind of inherently dangerous. Um, you know,
yes they should. You don't want to go to an
amusement park that hasn't killed somebody because then there's no
there's no thrill at this at the same six things
that I went to as a kid. Um, someone else
died after a falling off a roller coaster called the
Texas Giant. Oh yeah, the Texas Giant, which is which

(06:57):
is the biggest wooden roller coaster in the world. Um,
and someone um fell into that and died only Texas
because normal people are like, well, if I want to
go on the biggest roller coaster, I want to go
on the biggest roller coaster in Texas. Is like, yeah,
well what about the biggest made of trees the entire
rest of the world coast. I don't really give a

(07:18):
ship that doesn't appeal to me at all. But Texas.
It's like eight percent of Texan identity is that we
have the biggest wooden roller coaster. My god, are we
proud of that giant, stupid wooden piece of shit, the
Texas Giant Man. At at a at another six Plagues Park,

(07:39):
eight teenagers got trapped in a walk through Haunted Castle
attraction and the and this gets a real dark, real
quick rofford um, and all of the lights went out,
like like like the lightbels went out, making the area
pitch black, and one of the kids used a small
lighter to see, which then caught some foam adding on

(08:00):
fire and there was no there's no indoor sprinklers, and
the whole thing burned down with those eight kids inside.
Oh my god, that's a nightmare. So that I think
I think that is the highest death toll from a
single instant at any amusement park. Um is that incident um,
Which again it's not like it's not just six legs

(08:22):
as fall, but like they should have had sprinklers inside
or something, right give it's like an indoors they absolutely
should have had sprinklers. Like, yeah, it's part of your
job if you run a facility like that, is to
assume to try and figure out ways in which dumb kids,
because your entire clientele is dumb kids, will attempt to
do things that could hurt themselves and then mitigate that.
And you can't. You can't expect everything. Like in the

(08:44):
case of like kids crawling under the thing and getting
hit by feet, like yeah, you know, you can after
the fact try to deal with it, but like it's
just a horrible thing that happened. But in the case
of like well, yeah, you should have fucking sprinklers in
buildings filled with flammable materials, like you should just always
have that for the workers too. Yea's been there's been

(09:04):
very few like debts at Disneyland, like like besides, they've
have to be like a number of suicides, but like
this then we know, but it's a swamp. You can
hide corpses in a swamp. But like the in terms
of like like park guests, there hasn't been there many debts,
but there has been. There has been a lot of
worker debts um and like um like deaths like into
like construction and stuff because they don't really care about

(09:25):
you know, their workers and who's building all of the things. Um.
But like in terms of like the actual amusement park
when it's operating. You know, deaths and injuries are often
like a combination of negligence on behalf of the park,
user error, and sometimes pre existing medical conditions that maybe
you shouldn't be doing super like extreme high intensity stuff. Yeah. However,
there was one to a certain point there there was

(09:49):
there was one amusement park who is inherent danger wasn't
simply negligence or user error. Um. It was designed into
every single aspect of the park itself. And that's gonna
be today's today's bastard. It's a little place about forty
five miles outside of New York City in the small
town of Vernon, New Jersey called Action Park. Oh yeah,

(10:13):
um yes, I firstly mean about Action Park a few
years ago and was immediately immediately fell in love with
this concept. Um it is. It goes by a few
other names, uh, most popularly the class action Park, um
traction Park, friction park, accident park. Um we we We've

(10:37):
actually talked about Action Park a few times previously just
because it's it's it's yeah, because it's just one of
the funniest things ever. Like it's it's it's you know
what it is, Garrison, It's the kind of libertarianism that
I yes, exactly. So that's kind of what I'm gonna
be talking about today because like I would be honest here,
I think Action Park rules. I think it's like the

(10:58):
perfect place for a hed my predispositions. It was absolutely
like it has done innumerable harm to the world, into
into into a number of families and altered and ended
people's lives, but it's pretty funny. Yeah, So like I'm
I'm going to try to recognize how like there's there's
you know that the very aspects of the park that

(11:19):
make it charming to me also led to thousands of
serious injuries and a number of preventable debts, but you know,
there could have been more deaths. Actually, Like it is
actually surprising how once we once we finished this episode,
will be surprising how few deaths there are based on
how ridiculous things get. Um, We're gonna start by discussing
the park's founder, Jean Mulda Hill, because Action Park really

(11:41):
uses just the direct spawn of this man um similar
to how like Disneyland and Disney World is like it's
like an extension of Walt Disney and it's like a
test ground for how Walt would like society to operate.
Action Park is both an extension of Gene and like
a playground for his ideal like Weird Iron Randy and
Circus World. Um he is, there's a there was a

(12:04):
I think all of these kind of parks that are
built by like a dude have that to them. Like.
There's another one in Texas called schlitter Bond, which was
also just like a dude who had no business and
no experience designing water slides, just making a bunch of
giant water slides and yeah, people died, um, but it
was also a pretty rad place to get drunk and
roll down a lazy river. You're fucking hammered at schlitter Bond,

(12:28):
And it was clearly this man's dream to just design
different water attractions having never studied or gotten any sort
of relevant training and how to do that, um, and
then give people cheap liquor in order to ride them.
And that's exactly what happens here too. Yeah, I love
I love that thing. I love that kind of It's
always fun when that specific thing happens. Um. There's a

(12:51):
financial journalist named Mary Pilton who described a gene as
a mix of P. T. Barnum and Donald Trump, which
is like like a D S. Donald Trump. I think
it's like a really good explanation of the bizarre man
that this is um So Eugene A ka Geen Moleville
was born in nineteen thirty four. He grew up in

(13:11):
a working classighborhood in West Orange, New Jersey. UM. He
gradually he graduated from Lahy University with a Bachelor's of
Science UM in nineteen fifty six, which he then basically
never used again UM. But he he also got a
focus in business of administration when he was in university.
After this, he served in the Marine Corps UM in

(13:33):
and uh yeah in in two in two different battalions
or divisions, and he earned the rank of Captain UM.
According to his obituary, so spoilers, he's dead um quote.
Mr Velville was a pioneer in the mutual fund industry
and a venture capitalist and financier with a distinguished career
spanning many industries including cellular cellular broadcast, cancer, drugs, robotics,

(13:56):
magnetic imaging technology, amusement park rides, ranching, and real estate development.
UM by by by all accounts Jeane started out with
not much money to his name when he began on
Wall Street, and he was evidently good at picking stocks
and a decent a decent portion of his fortune was
made through Wall Street investments in the sixties and seventies,
and soon he actually found it. And when you when

(14:18):
you have that skill, when you're able to make money
that way, one of the things that says about you
is that you are capable of completely cutting human beings
out of out of the equipment. Absolutely that like it's
a necessary thing to make a fortune as a stock
trader um and also leads to really fun water parks.

(14:39):
So it does lead to very fun water parks UM.
So on board. So eventually he founded his own Wall
Street a firm called Mayflower Securities UM, and then he
went to co found um develop a few medical research
companies which specialized in developing cancer vaccines. Now spoilers that
that did not work out because we do not have
vaccines for cancer. Uh oh, that's a shame. I got

(15:01):
excited there for a secce. Instead we got water parks,
you know. So in in in the early to mid seventies,
Jeane dot started getting into the the penny stock schemes
also called the pump a dump frauds. UM within yeah,
it's bitcoin, but with a worse name, coin with a

(15:21):
worse name, and on wall strips and and on all
wall streets. So it's a little They're both very insufferable
in their own way. UM. At least one you can
buy drugs with. I guess actually he probably you could
also buy drugs that well, never mind, Yeah, both of those,
both of those you get drugs from. Um. It's it's
basically when a salesman would sell a worthless shares to

(15:43):
an unknowing client for a lot of a lot of money. Um. Now,
Morville was a very outstanding and charismatic character on Wall
Street and uh and he he he applied this whole
plan um um with with his with with appal Robert Brennan,
who helped him start may Flower Securities. UM. Robert Brennan

(16:04):
was another noted kind of Wall Street fraudster at the time,
and an all around pretty sketchy dude. Um he's he's,
He's gonna come back if a few times in this story.
But in nineteen seventy three, UH, Mayflower Securities was suspended
by this curious and Trades Commission on the grounds of
selling its customers worthless securities in a bankrupt electronics company.

(16:24):
According to a nineteen seventy four issue of The New
York Times, so, um Brennan continued to make other any
any other penny stock firms on Wall Street. But for
Eugene Mulville, he was basically kicked off of Wall Street
and he was he was not able to operate there anymore.
No one wanted to do anything with them because he
was frauding people for a long time. Um. But yeah,

(16:45):
I mean that's just when you retire, right, Like, that's
how every good Wall Street guy's career ends, is they
get caught committing what for anyone else would be the
rest of their life in prison crimes. And instead of
just like well you have to at least temporarily stop
bay stopped working for Wall Street, and then they go
on to become I don't know, Well he doesn't become

(17:06):
his senator, but he has he has another idea. Yes,
so he still has a decent about of financial assets. Um.
And what he decides to do is by two ski
resorts in Vernon, New Jersey. UM. So, back in nineteen
seventy two, one of his Wall Street investments, Vernon Valley
and Great Gorge Ski Resort went bankrupt. So Jean and

(17:27):
Bob Brennan formed a company called Great American Recreation and
purchase both of those both of those ski resorts and
combined them into one UM. So the and and the
vacation resorts were popular in the wintertimes, you know, you
would have people from New York come down and do
skiing and stuff. But they wanted a way to crank
out income during the summer. And it was in nineteen

(17:47):
seventy six when they arrived on the winning idea to
build an outdoor summer adventure park, which would soon grow
into Action Park in nineteen seventy eight. So this is
kind of this is how we get from All Street
investor guy to this guy who buys two ski resources
on a mountain and wants to transform it into basically
the first water park in the country. Because that Action

(18:09):
Park was like was like one of the original UM
like us based like what we call water parks. Now,
no one had thought of the brilliant idea of mixing
the fun of a playground slide with the sheer, erotic
joy of being surrounded by other people's bodily fluids mixed
in with poorly chlorinated water. There wasn't much chlorinated water

(18:30):
at Action Park, thank god, so you love to see it.
So Gene wanted Action Park to be different from other
like thrill based amusement parks where just like hop on
a roller coaster. Um. He wanted he wanted as as
the Action Park TV as used to say, for you

(18:52):
to control the action. That was that that was that
was the line they used. Um. Jean's son Andy Moville
explained his dad's thought process like this quote. Gene didn't
Geane didn't want to do the same old ship where
you get trapped in or something twirls around. He wanted
to He wanted to take the idea of skiing, which
is exhilarating because you control the action, and transferred into
an amusement park. There's inherent risk to that, but that's

(19:13):
what makes it fun. So it's like here we want
to like similar ads for like very high powered vibrators
and they have a similar death toll to Action Park. Cool.
There's a danger in controlling the action. You have to
put into a twenty vote plug like the ones that

(19:34):
you run an arc welder off right like that, those
kind of vibrators. His the first the first addition he
made to the ski resorts to make it, you know,
this summer adventure summer adventure park. UM. It was the
and it was called the Alpine Slide. It was. It
was almost a three thousand footlonging track going down uh,

(19:57):
just a mountain. It's it's just like a big, big
track of going down the mountain. Um. It was. You know,
it was a part of the mountains, part of the appellations. UM.
You were you you were on this small cart controlled
by a steering rod and you had a break that
sometimes worked. UM. More on the Alpine Slide later, but
pretty soon, UM. Two water slides, a car racing track,

(20:19):
and a skate park were added, and over the next
few years we had more water slides, a swimming pool
good like tennis courts, a softball field, and at the
beginning of the nineteen eighties the softball field was replaced
with a gigantic wave pool. This is this was one
of the first wave pools in the country as well. UM.
And we'll talk about this away full a little bit later.
I'll bet it was very secure. It was very safe

(20:42):
and well well designed. UM. Eventually they got a whole
another race track, more ridiculous slides, a kayaking ride, a
few bungee jumping sets dra Oddly enough, like one of
the safest rides at Action Park was the bungee jumping
ones UM, and you know various other like action based
attractions UM. In nineteen seventy mine the summer section of
the resort was renamed Action Park, and altogether the park

(21:05):
ultimately had about seventy five rides, forty of them being
water slides, and Action Park is still considered one of
the first modern water parks in the States. So the
thing is is that like Jean didn't Jeane didn't know
anything about amusement park. Jane didn't like them. Still was
still pretty new, but there was already like experts in it,

(21:25):
we like specialized and stuff. Gene did not Um. He
was not an engineer. He didn't really know engineers UM,
and random people just approached Gene for ideas for rides.
No one had engineer, no one had an engineering degrees. UM.
See that's perfect because it's a pure meritocracy that you know,
you don't have any kind of false divisions like having

(21:47):
a degree knowing how to make things safe, understanding the
basics of physics. None of that gets in the way
of making a truly great ride. Pure meritocracy. I love it.
Jean would go to like amusement park conventions and they'd
be like ride designers who are blacklisted from Disney and
six Flags, who would like talk to Gene because Jean's

(22:08):
like the weird dude that he could that you could
get to build your crazy right, but like no one,
no one was qualified. Um. However, and and and Jean
Geene basically greenlit every single ride that that that came
to it. Um. But he also do a lot of
tinkering with the designs to make them like more extreme,
to push them a little bit further. So like again

(22:29):
pure meritis. It's like it's like the ride was already
not great to begin with, but then Jeane would change
it all of the time and just like make things
just a little bit worse, just like turn it up
a little bit. Um. And he actually designedly designed quote unquote.
He he drew a lot of these on Napkins Um
most of the rides at Action Park. It was he
was the one that came up with the idea for

(22:51):
and he like, maybe you know, rough diagrams. Um. Then
he you know, just hired contractors and welders to build them.
They were you know, they were made out of like
a concrete cement, fiberglass and PBC piping. That's what most
of the rides were made out of. Um. It just
it's just glue and glue and PVC pipes together and
calling it good enough. That's basically how he set up

(23:12):
his park. UM and Gene. Yeah, I mean it's one
of those things like you could spend a lot of
time making sure it can like cover the hold the
weight of a human body, or that people can travel
down at without lacerating themselves or cracking bones, but you're
probably good at just eyeballing it, you know, like why
why why go further? To be fair, the rides did

(23:34):
always have a testing phase. He would pay his teenager
he would pay his teenage employees money to test the rides,
and many of the many of them did not get
past the testing phase. Um. So I'm guessing testing for
Gene was not wildly different from how the SS tested
vaccines on children in with a high body care. Yeah,
that's basically what happened. Um. It's like the final product

(23:56):
was was truly a mix of Iron Rand and Lord
of the Flies, which sounds amazing, like this is like
the perfect place to be as a teenager, Like this
is this the best best combination everything. There's no rules
in the park, no no regulations from the government. Um.
We'll get into those legal issues later. Um. Action Park

(24:17):
was it was really only possible in a specific time
in like like like um Reagan's America. Like it's very
very obvious that, like, you know, this was like a
zeitgeist moment. Um and Jane was actually friends because because
of all street, Jeane was friends with future president Donald Trump. UM.
And according to parking employees, Trump was very close to
investing in Action Park and actually dropped by one time

(24:40):
to take a look. Upon seeing the park, he decided
that it was too unhinged to invest in. Yeah. Captain
Covid took one look at Cheese Park. I was like,
this is gonna get people killed. Yeah, so the park
was too wild for Donald Trup to invest in. UM

(25:01):
and that's kind of that gives you a really good
idea of what the whole what the whole vibe is here. Um.
There are two other aspects which that made Action Park
the legend that it is today. Um. Alcohol and the
exclusively local teenage staff. Um. These are the These two things,
combined with the rides, are what made Action Park the

(25:23):
kind of the legend that it exists as now. M
journalists um Seth Porges, who has done most of the
work digging into the history of the park, describes the
park's atmosphere like this quote. A lawless land that was
ruled by drunk teenage employees, frequented by even drunker teenage guests,
filled with rides seemed too, that seems to defy even

(25:44):
the most basic notions of physics and common sense. And
that is like that that's the that's the whole idea,
is that you're in this place that just ignores the
laws of physics, ignores the laws of the country, full
with drunk teenagers who are both running the park and
attending the park, and that's it. And that's like, that's
how you just get the result that we got. Um. Also,

(26:07):
they were totally ignoring all all labor loss Um. Jersey
law requires right operators to be sixteen years old. Fourteen
year olds would would would frequently be operating these rides. Um. Yeah,
I mean their little hands can get in and and
fix things better, I would guess, and all of the
supervisors for kids like like starting at like sixteen years old,

(26:29):
because because if you were sixteen years old, that means
you were already working at the park for two years,
because you started working there when you were fourteen. So like,
you get bumped up real quickly when you've seen a
lot of death at that point and you can handle it.
One one seventeen year old was a security guard for
three months and then he got bumped up to supervisor.
So that kind of shows how fast that that progression

(26:51):
goes In some cases, a previous managers talked about how
the teenage staff would like Hayes new employees by quote
unquote drowning them in the pool by strapping them to
a board and then floating them upside down and leaving
them in the pool. Um, and he ends the story
by seeing things happen at Action Park that we don't
talk about. So that's fun. Um. I don't think anyone

(27:13):
died by getting hazed, but you know, it's it's kind
of unclear. Do you know who won't kill you by
hazing Robert? I mean, basically at any of our podcast
sponsors will happily kill you for a variety of reasons.
They're not gonna They're not gonna duct tape you to
a piece of wood and float you upside down in
the swimming pool as a bit. Hello Fresh might um,

(27:38):
look they might. Okay, I'm not gonna say that they won't. Um,
because we've all lost a lot of friends to Hello Fresh.
Look that's all. That's all I'm gonna say about it. Anyway,
I hope their ads aren't on this. Uh we are back,

(27:59):
and my god, I for one enjoyed it when Hello
Fresh threatened to hold our heads down under a wave
pool unless we ordered there feducchini alfredo dinner for two. Um,
Hello Fresh, they'll fucking kill you. I honestly don't think
we've ever even had hell of Fresh as a sponsor.

(28:21):
We had one of those food box company sponsors briefly.
I think it was I think it was Blue Apron.
It might have been Blue Apron. I don't think our
fans are really food box people. This is hurting me
and a making it harder for adopts to sell us
food backs. What we can we not like Pigeonhole. I
don't know, Dick pills and sheets are all I want

(28:41):
to sell. Hey, guess what you're not leading this episode? Garrison. Continue,
All right, Garrison, this this is gonna be I think
we're already going to my favorite quote, um that I
have that I've pulled for this show. This is This
is from Weird New Jersey Magazine, which is a great
resource just in general. Is there were normal New Jersey magazine?
I don't know, but this magazine was like staffed by

(29:03):
a whole bunch of people who grew up to be
like famous comedians. Um. So it's actually a pretty a
pretty cool site in meg anyway. But here, here, here,
here's a quote about Action Park that's really sums up
the beauty of this place and why I want to
live there. Um quote. It was truly a teen run show,
and I manifested itself in the many ways from right attendance,

(29:25):
willfully ripping the entrance, response from park attendees who misbehaved
to staff, knowing all the places that one could get
stoned and or drunk to hide from supervisors, and Action
Park on legal trouble for letting underage employees run rides too,
So chances are your personal safety may have once been
in the hands of a fourteen year old tripping on acid,
which is the best the best scenario that there was

(29:46):
fourteen year old operators of these rides just tripping on
acid as their leading you through this water slot. I
have a I have a relative that's as detailed as
I should get who very new really died because he
went to six Flags with his friends and they all
took a tremendous amount of acid and it was like, oh,
no reason there was a problem. Um. So I can

(30:09):
only imagine that if they had, instead of just being
at six Flags, been like six Flags, it would have
been a much safer situation to make the whole like
weird teenage atmosphere even better. Um. At the top of
the Alpine Slide on on the mountain there was there
was an employee's only shed that's referred to as the

(30:30):
sex shack Um or the weed shack Um. Basically it's
just tons of drunk, high and horny teens all dating
each other while running an amusement park. There was there
was a massive action park employee parties um at the
end of summer, basically a big old night bash where
everyone stayed over at the park. People would get like

(30:51):
blackout drunk and then wake up, go find your whistle,
and then go do quote unquote lifeguarding in the morning. Um.
And that's just how the park was run. And Jane
was like okay with it because he's like this weird
like libertarian dude, and he's like, yeah, do whatever. You
can go have slow. Yeah, and you can't have sex
to the shed. Go have sex to the shed and

(31:11):
then run the park. Yeah, that's that's I mean, how
else how else are you going to like run an
amusement park like this. You can't hire adults, you can't
hire remo. No adult people are going to complain about
how it's death trapped. The children only care that they're
getting beer money and are allowed to take acid. You

(31:34):
think they're paying for beer. There was so much free
alcoholic action park. Again, this is how all of society
should work. It's like the free from atmosphere was very
inspired by jeans libertarian ideals. Um. He like a few times,

(31:55):
like fake killed himself in front of employees as a joke.
What a fucking just pretending to commit suicide in front
of his tripping employees. They still have blood on their
hands from the last time somebody went down the slide
the wrong way. Uh fucking a. The employees often referred

(32:17):
to him as Uncle Jean Um and that sounds like
sounds like a specific kind of uncle he kept. He
kept a back ten machine gun in his office drawer.
Good yeah, classic choice. Yeah, Ingram is really I mean,
if you if you might need host down a bunch
of like plain clothes feds trying to close down your

(32:39):
water park. That happened. That happens a few times in
the story. What that he hosts feds down show upen
his park to like to like collect buddy Um. Anyway,
what a hero he Uh, he got this fake cattle

(33:00):
rod um and hatched an idea to stop people from
riding the ski lift to the top of the slide
without a ticket. You were about have a ticket to
ride on the steal it. So but like people just
didn't care. They were just writing it. And He's like, oh,
they should, they should be buying my tickets. So he
got this plan. Um an employee would pretend to be

(33:20):
a park guest and he would and he would he
would get on the left quote unquote without getting without
having a ticket. Uh. The operator were then asked for
a ticket, and then when the incarnito employee didn't have one,
the park operator would pull up the fake cattle prod
and taste him so that would scare kids into like
not riding the thing without a ticket. And he did this.
This is this is a little skit that he that

(33:41):
he did, um and it resulted in hundreds of parents
calling in to complain that their kids saw someone offerating
the ski lift to kill someone for not having a ticket.
See and I think the fact, honestly, my only opinion
of this is that the fact that he wasn't really
tasting people for writing the snow out a ticket is
incredible restraint on Jean's part, given the man that he is.

(34:03):
Yes yes, um So, once enough rides were built, Jean
went into marketing mode um and started airing some amazing
TV ads made by his daughter Julie, starring the park's
teenage employees. Um. When when a local TV reporter filming
a live segment on the seventy foot bungee jump called

(34:24):
the snapple snap up whipper snapper cool name? Um So
when when this reporter refused to jump off because he
was scared, Jean's youngest son, Christopher pushed the reporter off
the Leach. Excellent. He was so ready for the twenty
one century. It's a shame that he was born in
the thirties and not like this really could have gotten

(34:44):
uck to some ship these days. Uh So yeah, Onto Onto.
Like how the park operated itself, there were there were
three sections of the park. On on on the mountain,
we had water World and Alpine Center. These had like
all the slides water Slide it's in outdoor adventure based
attractions and uh the close close to the bottom of

(35:04):
the mountain. Uh. There was a section called motor World,
which is like cart racing and like attractions that like
required like motors to run. Essentially, um dividing Water World
and Alpine Center and motor World was the Route ninety
four highway, So a highway went right through the middle
of the park. Actually, um dividing the different sections up.
Um we will start the deep dive into the into

(35:27):
the rides by discussing way way. So so it's like
if like there was a giant freeway in between California Adventures. Yes, exactly,
and this this this gets used creatively. UM. So I
when you said, I'm like, there has to be a
reason why Garrison is matching this because yeah, there's there,
there's there, there's it's it's it's not a great idea, Um,

(35:51):
it's convenient for like, if you're running in the amusement park,
be like, yeah, you can just pull off off the
highway in two directions, dear, Both in the best places
I've done go kart writing have been right off of
the highway, and the best Like the danger of that
is because I when I go to play, when I
go go cart writing, I go to hurt people, right, Like,
my goal is to make sure that if there are

(36:12):
kids on the track, they don't graduate high You would
have loved actually park, Robert Noble, that's the reason to
do go cart you wouldn't say this on The problem
is when you get done go kart writing and you
get right back on the highway, you have to really
be careful to like the like this de escalator, Robert,
because if you've just been like permanently injuring like fourteen years,

(36:37):
threatened to end high school, not end their lives in
their ability to graduate high school. Here's here's the thing.
Here's the thing. You could get drunk at a authentic
German pub right next to the go carts and then
take the go carts onto the highway paradise. What saw

(36:57):
Zanna do was ending high schoolers. So hi, so here here,
here's here. Here's a list of the motor World rides
courtesy of Theme park tourist dot com, the primier source
of info for amusing park rides. Um, we had the
bumper boats, which is like bumper cars, but boats. Um.

(37:18):
The entrance of the engines of these frequently leaked gasoline.
There was at least one instance where guest needed medical
attention because too much of it when it got onto
his skin. Also, the pond that they were in was
filled with giant snakes. Um, of course it was why not,
because why would you want snakes in the bumper pool.

(37:44):
I bet Old Gene went and got the snakes and
put them in himself. People are gonna think it's authendic
if there aren't snakes. What a hero. Next to the
bumper boats, we had the Lola cars. These were miniature
race cars an open cockpit on a long track. It
costs It cost extra money to drive the cars, but

(38:06):
people were willing to pay, especially the people who knew
that you could raise the speed to dangerous levels. Without
the right adjustment, you can stick your hand in the
engine and like move a piece of metal that would
make the speed governor of like operate wrong, and you
can get up to like seventy miles an hour on
these Um. So, the park had actually descript so well.

(38:29):
And the best thing is the only way people found
that out. You don't figure that out just if you're
writing it a lot. You figure that out exactly, and
then you're to go to the park and that spread
everywhere else like that, yeah, just started started with park employees,
and it's so we spread to like you know, the teenager,
like you know, underground gossip thing. Um. So, something else

(38:50):
Gene did, which one of his smarter decisions is that
so like there is tons of alcohol everywhere at actually park,
Like there's like alcohol stands so many places that you
don't don't care what age you are, don't care any anything.
But one thing he did as well is he dismantled
a micro brewery pub in Germany and moved it to
Action Park. So from Germany, he moved the entire pub

(39:13):
and he set it up right next to the race cars.
What a perfect human. So after the park was closed,
employees were known to break into the micro brewery Steel
to Steel Beer and then take them take the race
cars onto the highway of Yeah, of course, uh so
next to the and all of this. Gene knew all

(39:35):
of this would happen. Yeah, he's like, yeah, it's fun.
Why not. No, he wanted he wanted to pill those
kids on libertarianism. You don't need fucking driver's licenses. I
don't care what age you are. And if you can
grab the alcohol, you can drink it. Um. There was

(39:59):
there was there. It's like a sling shot, a bungee
jumping ride or two people were shot up in the air. Um,
and we were upside down. These these are pretty common
in thesement parks nowadays. Um. Usually usually they cost more
money because of like insurance issues, but Action Park had
its own insurance set up, which we'll talk about later,
so you didn't need to do that. Um. Then we
have a super super go karts, which is different from

(40:20):
the race cars. Um, basically people people because the race
cars went to so much faster. I mean, like I
say this, but like the super go karts could also
go fifty miles an hour by messing with messing with
the speed. Governor they would like shove they would shove
a tennis ball in the engine, so you would like
move the governor stick. It's like these these go carts
still go fifty miles an hour and they were often

(40:42):
used as bumper cars. Um. So gasoline fuel leaks where
another we're on another problem um for for for the
go kart track. There is a quote from an Action
Park guest um the quote, I still remember being able
to I still remember being able to be served Action
Park or at age seventeen and then go riding the

(41:03):
go carts if you knew how without burning yourself on
the muffler to reach behind it and pulled the throttle
pass where the governor was set and just take off
past the other kids. Amazing wow uh um. There was
another boating attraction called the superspeed Boats, which was a
small pond which also had snakes um and people often

(41:28):
fall out of the speedboats, so this was more of
a problem with the snakes um and also writers would
uh would would would also use the speedboats as bumper boats,
which is a problem because these are super fast. Um.
There was the one really drunk individual need to be
rescued by life card after because the boat fully capsized. Um,
but Pepe people fell out you know often, Um, I would,

(41:50):
I'm not surprised, it would be almost disappointed if they didn't.
There was a guy that uh so there there was
a speedboat parked like in the dock, and another guy
who was sing was going super fast and he jumped
his boat on top of the other doctor boat while
someone was still inside, and they very nearly got to capitabes. Um.

(42:11):
The the the guy that they got to jumped the boat
then ran off and people never found him or he
never faced any punishment because he was able to run
fast enough, which is yeah, that's kind of how you
do it. Um. If you do something wrong, if you
run quickly, then it's fine. So that was That was
the speedboats and one of one of the best rides
in the motor world. Maybe maybe maybe maybe My favorite
is the tank ride. Um. This ride featured heavily in

(42:34):
the TV ads back in the day. Basically, can we
have Robert guess what that means? The tank ride? Yeah,
I'm guessing like the weapons system, right, like some child
version of a tank pretty much. Um So, Like Jean
built these motorized tanks and they had this whole like
arena and oh man, I'm on board so far. He

(42:57):
would let guests drive UM in these tanks for five
minutes at a time, shooting tennis balls from from cannons
at the other tanks. Don't don't worry, don't worry, Robert,
it gets it gets better. Um when hit a tank,
what I'm actually stopped for like fifteen seconds, giving the
other tankers and visitors with and also on the on
the edges of the arena also had cannons that people

(43:17):
could just walk up to and shoot um And uh
so yeah you can, you can just shoot tons tons
of tennis balls. Um. Now, often these tanks would break
down and workers would have to go inside of the
arena to to to fix the tank, but they didn't
shut down the bronx. So it was like the guy
at a golf course whose job is to clean the

(43:37):
driving rate, so of everyone would try to hit the
employees put the two with the tennis balls just cubs.
This made the tank ride an unpopular workshift. UM. And
there was one time where a park attendee um of

(43:58):
acquired gasoline from inside the park and soaked his tennis
balls inside them, brought them into the tank and then
lit them on fire and started shooting flaming fireballs out
of his tank. Um they were, they were kicked out
of the park. Unfortunate, credible, unfortunately, do you see they were?
That should make you manager of the park. This is
where see libertarians are never as consistent. They should not exactly, No,

(44:20):
you should reward that kind of innovation shooting flaming tennis
balls and employees. Come on, that's amazing. Come on, if
you get hit by one, just dive into the castoline.
You'll be all right. Hey, worst case scenario, you burn
the snap and sol two problems. Oh man. So the

(44:45):
last time I played Bumper Guards, it was this place
in l A that was again right next to a highway,
and I was just I was going out of my
way to hit kids, as I usually do when I'm
playing cup bumper cars managed to turn around, so I
was going in the opposite direction and just driving head
on at people. And it was like it was like

(45:06):
me a group of adults who horrified, and these little kids,
and I would just keep writing around and slamming in
the walls and just screaming death like the row here
in Faults. It was such a good day. God I
love bumper cars. Sound real fun. We should. We should
go to Oaks Park sometime. No, I can't go back

(45:28):
to do more bumper cars. It makes me a bit
can't go back. He can, I can't not. I just
can't not. The only place I can do bumper cars
safely is Mexico because everyone there, everyone at Mexican bumper
cars is on as much acid and as violent as
I am. Or at least I thought you were going
to say on the four or five in Los Angeles,
because that's basically what it is. No, for every people

(45:51):
four or five, it's very polite, driving, very very That's
why you need the bumper cars. You need to go
hurt people on the bumper cars. You need to do
damage to your friends. So you can't do it. We have,
we have gotten most of the notable motor worldwide. So
we're gonna move up to Alpine Center. Uh. This housed

(46:11):
all like the sports related attractions UM and like all
like the sports ball fields UM and then you know,
tons of like other slides. It did have another bunge
jumping attraction that was seventy feet tall, which is one
of the safer rides in the entire park. And Action
Park was also briefly home to a skate park obviously
uh now not designed by an engineer or people who
knew anything about skateboarding. So the bulls that ride are

(46:33):
scated in were separated by like um, black pavement and
did it and there was no smooth edges, so a
lot of tumbles. Um. An Action Park employee talked about
the skate park um and he said, uh a quote.
So then they built a skate park, a masterpiece and
design where the smooth bulls were isolated by the black
pavement between them who thought this was a good idea,
The blacktop did not even meet the cement at edge.

(46:55):
The skate park responsible for many for so many injuries
that we covered up that we covered it up with dirt.
I pretended it never existed. Amazing, that's libertarian jeans back
in my good books. So we covered up with never
resisted and thought of grander ways to hurt people, like
the Honda Odysse's now before you don't even need to

(47:19):
finish that. I'm just hoping he invented the Honda Odyssey
and that was his final method of revenge on then
before the mini men of the same name Honda made
a four wheeled uh a not be tired go kart,
which like predated a t V S and that was
wicked fun, mostly for the employees who would ride them
through the park, terrorizing everyone in our path. It's quoting

(47:42):
former park employee Tom fergus So, just chasing around park
guests on a t V S and all the CIP
walks after you bury the skate park because it hurt
too many kids. Um do do you know, Robert? Are
you familiar with the people who don't drive a t
V S at children and at parks? Why would you

(48:03):
not aim and a TV so an a t V garrison.
I come from the cell. There's two purpose. Grew up
in the prairies. I grew up in the prairies of Canada.
We we had we yeah, I know, yeah, you you
and I have had this conversation with friends who are
not a TV pill. There's two purposes for an a TV.
One is to kill large chunks of family, of your
own family and terrible a TV accidents, uh And the

(48:27):
other is to use as a weapon against people who
irritate you. And those are the jobs of an a
t V um so, Yes, I I can't imagine anyone
not driving it at someone. I hope we I hope
we do get a sponsorship from Big A TV soon,
because if they can send us free a t V s,
we can have so much fun food and we could
they could, we could get we could wipe out whole

(48:49):
generations in a single weekend away from home. So here
here's some ads too. Hopefully Big A TV, Sophie get
on that. Can we can we get an A TV sponsorship? Please? Please?
I'll put that requestion for you. Here's the ads. We're back.

(49:11):
So do you think all this talk about injuring people,
specifically children is going to go badly with our audience,
with our audience, no, with our employment. Probably. Well, look
you can't here, I don't know that. There's certain So
there's some people who grow up and fun is doing

(49:32):
things that are enjoyable for everyone involved. And there's some
people who grow up and fun is um damaging each other. Um.
And I grew up in in in the country a
decent chunk of my childhood, and so fun often involved
someone getting horribly injured. And you know that's that, that's

(49:53):
just life, that's just life. And eventually you seek to
replicate that fun by having I don't know, fireworks fights
and trying to go bicycle jousting and beating your friends
with raw fish in public parks. Um. You know, just
good times, great times, great time. Alright. We we could

(50:13):
have had some front times at Action Park. We could
have had I would have traveled to the state of
New Jersey to Action Park. I would have rented a
house for a month. Oh man. So in the Alpine
Center has a lot of rides that never got through testing. Um.
Possibly maybe my favorite attraction in the entire park, which

(50:37):
did not last for long, was called the Man in
the Ball in the Ball UM. It was a giant
metal ball floating inside an even bigger metal ball with
with tiny wheels all around it, and you have someone
in the very middle. UM. The idea was to roll
down a mountain in a ball on a set track.
Now this the track was made out of you see piping, um,

(51:01):
because no one knew what they were doing um on
and on human testing day it was it was very
hot and PVC piping like it's plastic, so like it expands.
So as they were rolling the ball with a person
inside down the mountain, the track completely fell apart um
and the bull rolled rolled down the mountain, over the
highway and into the swamp with the snakes with someone

(51:25):
all inside. Um. It did not pass human testing unfortunately. Yes, yeah,
I know. You can't get everything. I know. Another ride
that did not last long was the so called zero
gravity Slide, which was allegedly inspired by airplanes. Now, don't care,

(51:46):
so no one knows how I love that allegedly doing
a lot of heavy lifting there, no, so no one
knows what gravity or our planes are. Who's involved with
this ride? Um? You was? The goal was you would
have a slide that you gave enough speed and then
hit a ramp that makes you glide through the air.
Now that's not how humans work. No, that's not how physics.

(52:09):
But this guy doesn't know any of that. This man's
never studied anything in his life. So the idea was
like glad through the air and then land perfectly parallel
back on the slide to go on in another lamp. Um,
Like this guy's whole plan for building a ride is
to drive to a home depot parking lot, say Trebajo,
and hold out a napkin. Yes, that's exactly what happened.

(52:33):
So and it's a testament to the workers he hired,
to the day laborers he hired, that fewer people died
than you once were the episode. You're like, how did
only x amount of people die? Like it should have
been more. I mean there there there maybe is someone
that we just don't know about. But like, it's it's
weird how few there are? Is it? Man? It is

(52:54):
very absurd. Um. I don't know. As I've learned racing
go carts, it's harder to kill people than you might think.
So testing on employees went surprisingly well with the zero
gravity slide, but then, uh, shortly after it opened, a
small kid went on and got going super fast and
he launched so high that he missed the entire slide
and the landing pad and was sent to the hospital
and the ride got shut down. Um. So it did,

(53:15):
just didn't last super long. Um. And probably one one
of the more infamous rides at Action Park is the
Alpine Slide. But it's it was the longest running like
Action Park attraction and it was the first one built. Um.
This was it was a long, long shoot on the
side of a mountain. Uh that caused many many major
perils and injuries. UM. It was I ironically referred to

(53:36):
as the safest ride there. Um because because because because
part officials would talk to like the media and say like, no,
it's save We saw a nine year old grandma carrying
a baby right down the slide. Um, So that was
the lie they kept using. Um. Yeah, which is also
very very frightening to hear, because these tracks were made

(53:59):
out of conca fiber, fiberglass, and asbestos. Well and also
I am absolutely certain, being the man that he was,
if you called something the safest ride at his park,
Gene would take it as an insult. Yeah, sure, like,
how how dare you? How dare you say that about
my child? So like the y and Dy bumpy track

(54:20):
was made out of a concrete cement, fiberglass, and asbestos.
So anyone who took a to anyone who looked like
even a minor hit tended to get like very bad
like friction burns um on on their skin because you're
rubbing on all of these rough materials um. And also
like they were usually just wearing bathing suits, like they
didn't have much clothes on. Um. This The sled had

(54:41):
two speeds, very slow because you're breaking the whole time
or bullet fast, like insanely quick of that. Also the Alpines,
in order to get to the top of the alpine slide,
you need to get on the ski left, which we
are we are talked about with like the fake tasting. Um.
You know, the ski lift the same thing, um, but

(55:01):
on on the ski lift up, people would like play games,
games such as like spitting on the people on the
slide and trying to trying to hit them um or uh.
When when you're riding up the ski lift, you would
like strap your sled onto the side, and what you
would also do is try to drop your herd sled
on people writing down the slide. It's a whole theme

(55:24):
park where everybody thinks the way I do at theme parks.
This was I had a home at one point, Garrison.
I had a home and I never got to see it.
This was a daily occurrence. People dropping there like twenty pounds. Literally,
what else are you going sleds on the people riding down.

(55:44):
So at the top of the slide there was a
gallery of bloody pictures of people who rode to ride previously.
Oh my god. And on your little slide you had
you had like a stick break which almost never worked. Yeah,
why no, why would That's the least important thing in

(56:06):
the entire park. Breaks on anything really need the break
to turn the slides. Well, so you're just gonna fly
on the break. If you're a coward garrison, your breaks
are the other people on the ride. That's how that
also happens. That's how you make it work. You use
their bodies as a break. That happened. That did happen frequently.

(56:27):
I'll bet even if you did break properly, the bumps
could still send you flying off into like rocky. It's
like it's like the around the slide. It was like
a mountain. It wasn't like soft grassy. It wasn't soft
grassy hills. It was a rocky mountain. There's the pile
of rocks, so tye if they were soft rocks, it's
the Appellachians, right, that's not the hard mountain. Everything broken,

(56:51):
collar bones, broken arms, many concussions. On an average day
there was fifty people injured on the slide double double
on the weekends. But an incredible place near But it's okay.
You've got that brewery right there. You bring your collar bone,
you go. Can you get right back on the horse

(57:12):
that you can probably find acid from a from like
from like a fourteen year old who's riding, who's like
operating the water slide. Yeah, I feel like you would
have to work to not buy acid from a fourteen
year old at Action Park like that, that would be
that would be an achievement. You'd go back home, was like, yeah,
I went to Action Park and I did not buy
drugs from a child. It's like going to Guatemala. Near

(57:35):
near the bottom of the Alpine slide, it was a
so called infirmary shack specifically for slide related injuries. UM.
Inside the shack there was a white there was a
small white circle on the ground UM and to help
prevent infection after you know, bad friction burns, they had
a special spray which was just alcohol and iodine UM
that they would that employees would spray onto the open

(57:56):
wounds caused by the slide. Now, if you can stay
inside the circle as the employees sprayed you, you would
win a prize. UM. And if if you ever had
a big like traction burn or anything, if if you
ever had one, try to get cleaned, especially by any
like alcohol based spray. You can imagine how extremely painful.
This would be like some of the worst pain you
can imagine. Um. So, one employee of recounts over the

(58:19):
three years they worked there, only two people ever stayed
in the circle. And remember there's like fifty people getting
injured on week week days, double on weekends. Um. So
only two people stayed in the circle over this employees
time working. And the prize was an Action Park pen.
So that's worth it. Yeah. And and here's where things

(58:41):
get to start to get a little actually get darker.
The Aupline slide was the first was the site of
the first death at at the park. UM. Nineteen year
old George Larson Jr. Was at Action Park with his
family on July ninety. He was writing the outline slide
and thrown off the track and his head struck a
nearby rock. After several as in Tacoma, he died. UM.

(59:02):
Jean Mulville tried to cover up the death by saying
Larson was an Action Park employee and he snuck in
at nighttime and it was raining when the accident happened.
None of that is true, um, but this meant that
since Jean claimed he was an employee who died, he
did not need to report the death to state regulators,
so he just lies so he didn't have to report it.
And you still you still see this lie reported in

(59:24):
a lot of media about Action Park. Um. You still
see this lie repeated again that that the first death
was an employee you smoking at night, which just did
not happen. Um. So the Alpine slide only caused one
death that we know of, but it was responsible for
most of the lawsuits and around of the citations against
Action Park. Um. Yeah, it was also one of the

(59:46):
few last rides to get shut down when the park closed. UM.
So on now that that that that wraps up the
Alpine Center, and we're gonna go onto water World, the
final area of the park, um and all end up.
The first water World attraction we're gonna talk about has
nothing to do with water. It's actually a sky diving simulator. Um.
There was a skydiving simulator like wind tunnel outdoors that

(01:00:09):
was invented in Germany four Um. It was the first
one was moved to the States. In Night seven at
Action Park. Writers were special diving suits, helmets, and ear plugs,
and they had an instructor there who would like help you,
like get over this giant trampoline with a fan essentially. Um.
Most injuries that that the sky diving stimulator came because

(01:00:29):
writers instinctively try to like break their falls by by
extending their arms. I used to be a part of instructor.
That's pretty common when people fall, they and they don't
know how to they try to use their arms and
you get a lot of you know, um, like dislocated shoulders, wrists,
right yeah, or just like throwing yourself out of the
even like landing flat on your back is better than

(01:00:49):
landing on your arm. Um. So yeah, this this because
there acust a lot of shoulder The ride caused auto shoulder,
just dislocation, um, severed nerves and it almost caused some
permanent armed paralysis and a few guests. Um. But now
onto the most famous I'll be a short lived action
park attraction, the Cannonball Loop. This one was designed on

(01:01:11):
a napkin. Um good. So you know how there's are
the coasters that do a little like loop de loop thing,
you know, like the basic thing. It's fun, you know
loop loop Now, what is that but water slide? Now
if you're saying, but that's not how water works, because
you can't like shoot water up this thing unles you

(01:01:31):
have like a hose running through it, which he didn't have.
That that that doesn't not matter because Jeane drew a
little loop loop on a napkin and then built this
water slide. Um. In the initial testing, uh, he put
down like crash test dummies, um, and the dummies came
out with missing limbs and heads. Um. And then when
they move on to human testing, Gene offered employees a

(01:01:53):
hundred dollars to ride the cannonball loop, which was like,
will you be my flesh mannequin? It's like three hundred
dollars in today's money, So if you're if you're a teenager,
it's not enough. You could buy like, I don't know,
twenty tabs with that or something. It's great. It's a
great deal. I mean. And just speaking from a libertarian
point of view, there's no greater joy than handing children

(01:02:16):
money to endanger their own lives. That's really that's the
peak of that idea. The kind of bello never caused
super bad injuries. Actually, it's surprising how much it functioned.
This because it was just drawn on a napkin. Um.
There was like because it looks like look at a
picture of it. It's like a looty tunes right, like
it's out of its mind. So of there were like,

(01:02:40):
you know, concussions and stuff, but like, you know, it's
a concussion. It's bad, but you know it's not, it's
not it's not the worst. Um. And there were some
very unhappy testicles for having to like loop up and
then your body it's you know, the side of the thing. Yeah,
I don't feel great afterwards. But the ride was deemed
safe enough by Gene and you know, the sheerest impossible
nature of the construction was too entire seemed to pass up. Yeah, no,

(01:03:02):
you have to try it. So right before you when
the ride opened, right right before you got on, they
would have like a garden hose to spray you down
to help make you more slippery. Um. And they should
have people up gotten those big Yeah. Initially there was
no padding at the top of the slide. This caused

(01:03:22):
a lot of injuries, uh, like smashing her head to
the top of the loop. Um. But then some film
padding was added. The next issue is that right writers
kept exiting the slide with bizarre cuts and scratches on
their body. When the slide was inspected, they realized that
human teeth were found stuck in the home padding from
people smashing their heads and tops. Incredible teeth just other

(01:03:47):
people's teeth are imbedded so deeply in it that the
teeth are biting passengers after them. Oh my god. The
Cannibal Loop was again, the only thing I would change
if I were running Action Park was for everyone to
be covered in loupe at all times. Would have that
would have gotten rid of those deaths. Yeah. So the

(01:04:09):
loop was only open for a little over a month
in the summer of nineteen five before the state's Advisory
Board on Carnival Amusement Safety or ordered its closure. Too
many teeth. You can't have this many teeth in a
plain back ry. Gotta get this number of teeth down
by half. So moving on to other kind of bizarre
water slides, there was one called the Aqua Scoot where

(01:04:30):
writers would have a hard plastic sleds on top of
the attraction and go down, you know, a curved a
curved open slide um and and uh but on the
on the on the track, we had a little like
metal rollers, you know, like you have like like like
a factory assembly line. So you would rule across these
on the sled and then try to skip yourself like
a stone over a puddle at the bottom. UM. So

(01:04:52):
it was like it was like it's like your stone skipping,
but you're the stone. Um. It didn't know. If you
weren't positioned to just write, you would immediately face plant
and the and the pool was not very deep. It
was only like a foot deep. So you were like
slam into the bottom of this, of this, of this
little puddle. Also there was a beast nest inside the slide. UM.
He just couldn't help himself. I have to believe that

(01:05:13):
every interaction of wildlife with injury is purposeful. Was Jane
being like, what else could I stick in here fucking
ba's nest? What One of the rides that looks actually
super cool? Um was called the Colorado River Ride. It
was a group inner tube ride that was a white
water rafting simulator. UM. Now it begain life as a

(01:05:34):
lazy river ride, and Jean was like, you know what's
more fun than a lazy river rides? Action in the
lazy river is white water is Class four rapids. So early, early,
early human test pilots came out of this ride. Unconscious. UM.
So the intensity was slightly turned down, but it was
still very It was still a very intense ride. UM

(01:05:54):
and Jean purposely removed all of the life guards there
because quote, there are there are no lifeguards at the
Colorado River. Well there you go, there you go. I mean,
fair enough, my man, fair enough, there aren't gene You
are correct. Nearby where the diving cliffs um like and

(01:06:20):
fifteen feet tall cliffs over a freshwater pool, it was
the pools about sixteen feet deep. Because like, the whole
inspiration for Action Park was, like Jean says, it was
like the nature that he grew up in and he
figured out kids couldn't go into real nature, his park
would be the next best thing. So this just meant,
you know, a Colorado River ride and jumping off cliffs
um on on. On the cliffs drimping one, you would

(01:06:43):
often land on top of people because you know, the
danger of the ride was at the section of the
pool where people landed wasn't blocked off at all, and
people would just jump off without caring about what's under them.
So there's a lot of collisions and you know you're
clading on people over top of a sixteen foot pool,
and people did not know how to whim um. Now,
of course, shoulders will get constantly dislocated. Um. And the

(01:07:06):
water was much deeper than expected. Eventually they had to
paint the bottom of the pool white so it was
easy to see bodies. Uh, because it's just hard to
tell with you know, you know you're running a good
theme park. When the sentence so it was easier to
see bodies is added to an explanation of like one
of your engineering changes. The now diving cliffs were not

(01:07:29):
the only conflict attraction. There was another one where you're
writing on the cliffs called serf Hill. UM. It was
it was basically a giant slipping slide on the mountain. Uh.
The The original concept was to jump off a cliff
and and land on the side to continue the ride.
This this this, this idea was abandoned due to space limitations,
but Surf Hill got its airborne wish via other means.

(01:07:50):
UM employees so you had like little like like plastic
mats to write on. UM and employees would slide extra
mats on the slide to make the jumps and ramps
bigger and more extreme. Eventually, guests eventually guests got too
much air and broke their nap and broke their neck
upon landing. Um, and guess what do you know, slide
down the slipping slope on on on landing like this

(01:08:12):
little puddle area. Um. There was like ten lanes, but
there wasn't many like barriers to speak up between the lanes,
so that often be like criss crossing and collisions on
the slide itself. Um. The seventh lane was particularly dangerous
because that's the one that employees would stick the mats under.
When Jeane discovered that the force of hitting the water
at the bottom of Surf Hill could tear off bathing suits,

(01:08:33):
he immediately took action by building a grandstand spectator section
so people could watch. People watch. Every time I start
to think he's not a great guy, he just does
the best thing he could pass. People can watch teenagers
to get their tops for off. Jean, and you what
a perfect libertarian he is. He is checking all of

(01:08:57):
the boxes. He is. He is the plata ideal of
a libertarian. You've got borderline child molestation, you've got child labor,
you've got uh paying people to endanger their own bodies.
You've got a complete contempt for any sort of safety regulations.

(01:09:17):
You've got everything. Libertarians love in a he's he's he's like,
he's like their zeus yea. A park employees often would
sit by a nearby snack check that offered a good
view of surf hill, just excited to see all the
injuries and last bakhini tops. Um, god damn it geh.

(01:09:42):
Another water slide called Kennibell falls, which is like a
completely covered water slide leading into a massive like like
ten ft drop into a pool. Um. According to an
action former a former action part guests a cluster of
four or five short water slides ended by shooting you
into a lake. Various kids would fly out at various times,
landing on top of each other mid air um or
sometimes landing on a on a sharp rock nearby because

(01:10:05):
you couldn't like you wouldn't like line at to jump correctly. Um. Sure,
And often lots of these like tunnels had like very
abrupt degree turns, not a forty five degree turns. You
would like slam into a wall and keep going to
the fourth of the water, um, and just toss you
in you know a different direction, um, you know it
would it would shoot your young no old body into

(01:10:27):
a gooey pool. Uh, full of crying kids and water snakes.
It was awesome. That's the end of the quote. Uh.
They had another white water rafting ride called the Roaring Rapids.
This one had rafts that you that they were trying
to replicate a mountain swimming hole. Uh. Jean turned up
the intensity to make it another of class for rapids.

(01:10:50):
Six later, Um, there was a responsible for report after
report noting fractured bones and dislicated body parts. They're also
exposed bolts on the underside of the tunnel and lots
of lots of traffic in the forks of the path
that would cause you know, people to like get stuck. Um. Yeah,
there was a fractured femurs, collar bones, broken nose into
displicant shoulders, and knees. All were inside reports filed by

(01:11:13):
Action Park just in An, India. By UM, they had
a very steep water slide called the Superspeedwater Slide UM,
which like almost like a completely vertical drop where you
would have to like park employees would say, like they
actually give instructions for this one because if you fell off,
you would like fault to your death. Like very quickly. Um. Sure,
so you gotta have a teenager kind of brush over

(01:11:36):
what you're supposed to do to avoid that. Yeah. Yeah,
And you will go too super fast on this because
you're it's like a vertical drop. Um. And most notably,
it would shoot water up your ass and mess up
your junk. It was referred to by staff as the
freshwater enema ride. Um. So that's fun. Um. Another popular
attraction was the Tarzan swing. This was memorable for some

(01:11:59):
good and bad reasons. It's kind of it's it's exact
exactly what it sounds like. A giant rope swing into
a into like a pool of water. Um. If people
held onto the rope too long, they would, you know,
they would mess up their swing and go back into
like the jumping off point. That's just the problem with
rope swings in general. Um. The biggest cause of alarm, however,
was the pool of water. It wasn't like a pool
of water. This was a section of the mountain that,

(01:12:21):
like river runoff would go into it was freezing cold. Um.
Lifeguards were forced to jump in the rescue people who
forgot how to swim because they were so im prepared
for the shock of the cold water. UM. Now, due
to line placement, there was always a large cred of
spectators that would often heckle people currently on the ride. UM.
Park attendees recounting the crowd chanting pussy at bleeding injured

(01:12:44):
riders after they climb out of this freezing pool. UM.
Also the specting Also the spectating area gave a grand
opportunity for people who are swinging to flash the flash
the nearby crowd with boobs or dicks. Um. So, yeah,
that that's the that's the Tarzan swing. Um. Then oh,
the they had they had a kayaking uh simulator. UM.

(01:13:08):
It used giants submerged electronic fans underwater to help make
turbulent conditions. Um. The kayaks will often get stuck or
tip over. And in n two someone fell out of
a kayak, got too close to an exposed electrical wire
in the underwater fan and got electrocuted and died. Uh.
This was the second visitor of death in the history

(01:13:29):
of the park. The kayak ride closed shortly after. So
someone got electrocuted because of underwater fans in and then uh.
Around this time, they built one of the first wave
pools in the country. Um. So the wave pool was
nicknamed the Grave Pool for reasons that will become clear

(01:13:51):
very shortly. Um. It was a onet wide by a
hundred and tt long pool that caught held between five
hundred and a thousand people often like shoulder and shoulder.
It's a nightmare. Um. This was a wave pool designed
by an engineer. Um. The water was way too marky
to see through. There was like a mix of like runner,

(01:14:13):
a mix of like a river runoff, body lotion, human
waste and other bodily foods from like open wounds that
got the waters really really murky. Um. The the artificial
waves would would be like a few meters tall, and
they go would go on for twenty straight minutes. Which
is way too long for a wave pool. That that's
that's not that's not how we do wave pools. Usually
it's like five minutes on, ten minutes off or something.

(01:14:35):
But twenty straight minutes of waves. Um, that's plenty of
time for a good or for even like a good
swimmer to get into some serious trouble because you just
keep getting hit by waves and the pool gets pretty
pretty deep. Um. Visitors who could not swim well would
quickly have water going over their heads. Um. And experience.
Swimmers who are used to ocean water didn't realize that
the fresh water like the pool was fresh water, so

(01:14:56):
it wasn't nearly as boint, which makes make it a
lot more exhaust thing to try to swim through. UM. Yeah,
there every few every few minutes, like after the way
it's for done, they would they would clear out a
particular section of the wave pool to scan for any
bodies at the bottom, like at this at the special
deep spot, they would clear everyone out to look for it. UM.

(01:15:16):
Former employees claim that lifeguards at the wave pool would
often claim thirty saves a day for each for each
life UM, where your average your average lifeguard out of
pool like may only rescue one or two people in
the entire summer. And there were I think there was
like there was like twelve lifeguards on duty at the
way because it's massive. UM easily one of the scariest

(01:15:37):
tractions at the park. UM. The first death happened in
the same year of the kayaking death. UM and another
guests round in nine seven. Now two deaths may not
sound a lot, but that's that's that's that's that's the
low tally. These lifeguards were saving so many people NonStop.
There twelve lifeguards and duty saving about thirty people a day.
Um for each one of them. It's a it's a

(01:15:57):
nightmare because it was just so big, so so many people. UM.
Lifeguards and staff would then give out rerisbands that say
c f S or can't fucking swim. So if you
have one of these, if you have one of these
wristbands on, you've probably already gotten saved that day. Um.
Also in four a man had a heart attack shortly

(01:16:19):
after in the Tarzan swing pool. The the cold water
believed to send him into shock, and then he died
in the pool because of just how cold it was,
like triggered a heart attack. Um. And then a few
years later, in slight and slightly related news, UM, not
this this is an action park's fault, but I think
it's worth mentioning. Um, there was a bus crashed on

(01:16:40):
the way to the park, killing five, killing five people
on the on the highway. Um, so that that happened. Yeah,
they were going going to the park and it crashed. Uh.
This is just this adding on to like this kind
of press about the park. Um. But to a certain point,
the more kind of danger and death would reported in
the media. The more the local kids and teens just

(01:17:01):
wanted to go because the magic and horror of action
parks that you could leave with all of your dreams
of fun and adventure and freedom come true, or you
could leave in a body bag. Um, it's like it's
this like, it's this like allure. What everyone really wants
is a chance to risk your life. Uh and also
not travel more than a couple of hours from home. Yeah,

(01:17:22):
so it's it's hard to say any people actually got
hurt here. Uh, the state only requires the park to
report serious injuries quote unquote, So unless you left in
an ambliance, and we already know that he did, Unless
you left in them, wasn't serious injury to this guy.
So yeah, unless you left in an ambulance was almost
certainly not gonna be reported. Um, but stories like three

(01:17:44):
months in the hospital and the six moments in a
body cast and the same day we got there, guy
got I got stuck on the cannonball loop and not
the person broke there ut cliff diving. We're not uncommon.
Those are common sentiments people. People would say not to
mention hundreds of thousands of dislocated joint, broken boats and concussions. Um.
According to Newsweek UM quote from an emergency room doctor

(01:18:08):
at nearby hospital, They claimed they admitted nearly five to
ten people a day from Action Park. Um. Sometimes interesting
reported yeah so so. Injuries included like ankle spring sproken bones, cuts, concussions,
dislocations and and uh and uh and and head wounds.
So a five five people in the emergency room per
per day. Um and actually uh. The Vernon, New Jersey

(01:18:31):
Ambliances had to stop serving Action Park because they would
keep busy at the park all day. The city forced
a Jean to buy two of its own ambliances to
have its own Action Park Ambliance fleet. Oh my god.
And I bet there's nothing that Jean was more responsible
with than owning his own emergency services. And the majority
of police calls for Vernon in the day were were

(01:18:52):
for Action Park. There were there were many fights, many
brawls because you know, parsity due to the sheer abundance
of alcohol. Um. Now you you may be thinking, wow,
this park seems pretty dangerous. I bet their insurance bills
are pretty expensive. Well no, not really, um, because here's
a quote from Seth Um. From seth porches, the journalis
who had done most of the work on Action Park. Quote,

(01:19:14):
Jean didn't believe that the concept of insurance. Yeah, this,
this guy is like the ARCon of libertarianism. He is,
he is, he's their captain planet Iron. Rand and her
five best friends all got special rings and she and then,

(01:19:36):
being a libertarian, he abandoned them to make Action Park. Immediately,
she thought of if you got hurt, you should deal
with that problem yourself. It wasn't his problem dealing. Um,
but technically he needed like insurance to run the park.
So he did what any true libertarian would do. He
made his own fake insurance company in the Cayman Islands.

(01:19:59):
He also used to mag inturdance company the Cayman Islands
as a money laundering scheme. Uh yeah, look, he already
said he was a libertarian. When when when when a
park manager told Jean, like, the state says we can't
do that, Jean replied, well, who the hell are they?
They can't shut us down? Oh Jean, ah, you beautiful,

(01:20:20):
beautiful animal. Surprisingly this, Surprisingly, this led to a large
scale federal investigation. Yeah, that's usually how large scale federal
investigations start. That's that's generally the way in the wake
of the two deaths in four UM, they investigated Action
Park and found all of these like financial fraud elements.

(01:20:41):
This resulted in a three day hearing and the one
hundred and ten count indictment UM. Jeane refused to testify
or appear in court, but through his lawyer, he eventually
pad guilty to counts of fraud, theft, and conspiracy, and
he was instructed to give up control of Action Park
since some of it was operated on state land. UM,
so he hatched a new scheme. He decided to be

(01:21:02):
the worst tenant he possibly could. He stopped paying bills
and filing paperwork for all of his like rent to
to the state because he because the state owned some
of the land, he just stopped paying UM. He did
everything he could to piss off this off the state
landowners he was renting from. Look, the government can't own land, Garrison.
The only people who can own land are weird libertarian

(01:21:26):
He just didn't pay hundreds of thousand dollars in rent,
and somehow and somehow this worked. By the mid eighties,
the state guards away. The state got so fed up
with Jean that they agreed to sell him the land
for dollars just to get him out of the way,
which he did so then eventually he owned all of
the land. Actually park was on because he just stopped
paying rent and the state was like, fine, you buy it.

(01:21:48):
It's it's unclear the exact amount, but it's a multiple hundred,
multiple of hundreds of thousand dollars. He just didn't pay
ums and they were like and they were like, exactly,
so it was it was probably around he was that
annoying that they see, yeah, like it's it's actually park

(01:22:11):
became like an important part of the local economy. UM
for Vernon, you know, brought a lot of people into
this small what else are you doing in vern like
other businesses had interests in keeping the park open and
having good press. Um. Jean would bribe public officials, He
bought politicians houses, um, and he found a lot of
ways to put people on his payroll, you know, because

(01:22:32):
like he was employing because he was also employing all
of their kids, Like all of their kids worked for
gene um And according to local reporters who who personally
knew gene specifically, like God became friends with him. At
the end of his life, he was most certainly involved
with the mob Um, there was a lot of sketchy
friends Jeane had, and he would say a lot of
like weird concerning things. Um he would he would have

(01:22:54):
to make jokes with high level employees. Yeah. I mean,
this is the guy who heard that teenagers were having
their bathing suits ripped off and said, well, let's find
a way for people to watch. To make jokes with
high level employees about how like certain managers knew where
all the bodies are buried. It's like they couldn't betray him. Um.
So like he's had a lot of you know, like jokes. Yeah. No,

(01:23:17):
Um so with with with a fake insurance company, six
deaths and an unknown but very high number of of
of injuries, you expect a lot of people to sue
Action Park for damages, and they tried, but barely anyone
ever succeeded. Um. If you tried to sue Action Park,
Geane would always refuse to settle. He would take it
to trial every single time, and he would make the
trial as long and as painful as possible. Um. Action

(01:23:40):
Park would win about nine of cases, and ket he
got such such a reputation of being hard to sue
UM that most lawyers just didn't even bother um and
even when he lost cases, he just wouldn't pay multiple times.
U S. Marsha, Yeah he's not. He doesn't pay the
government rent. He's not paying you because he killed kill
times armed you. Marshals came to the Action Park lot

(01:24:02):
to collect money and like they because they got to
know some of the employees, like the points be like,
oh no, Gregg's here again with the Marshals. All right,
someone someone go get Jeane. We we gotta we we
gotta get a check or something. It's it's the U S. Marshals.
Tommy Lee Jones is here with Robert Downey Jr. Um.

(01:24:23):
That was the U S. Marshals. Absolutely was Marshal's It's
a good movie. Okay, Okay, that was such a great
there there. There are like one or two incidents that
Jean did have to settle. It related to like certain deaths,
but it was it was settling out of court mostly
just to shut people up, um and for not very
much money, like I think the first death he settled
for only fifty UM. So yeah, but the death, danger

(01:24:48):
and scandal of Action Park didn't immediately affect the parks
aubility to operate um and like unlike the actual desert
Action Park Action Parks, Action Park's own death was like various,
It was a very slow process. UM. The nineties recession
hit Action Park pretty hard. UM And in the eighties,
Jean's parent company, Great American Recreation actually opened two spinoff
locations UM that they weren't quite as wild as the original,

(01:25:11):
and both of those were forced forced to shut down
in the early nineties. UM And as the eighties came
to a close and people started growing up, the dangerw
Action Park became less appealing to the new generation of parents.
UM and the bad press, deaths and lawsuits piled up,
and it started impacting the park's attendants in like the
mid nineties. Yeah, people they got what the problem is, Garrison.

(01:25:32):
They took the lead out of the gasoline and parents
started carrying about their kids doing things as opposed to
just just wanting them away. UM. That's when everything went
wrong in American society, if you ask me. The real
kicker was when Jean's business partner, Bob Brennan was found
guilty of fraud and money laundering and sentenced to ten
years in prison. So Jeans Magical Money Tree ran out

(01:25:56):
and by Action Park declared bankruptcy and at the end
what they their last operating season was the next summer.
So then Action Park closed its gates in nineteen UM.
So you know the political you know circle that Action
Park was able to exist and had come to an end.
Um to Two years later, UH, the ski resort and

(01:26:19):
the park grounds were bought by another amusement park company
named Intro West. Most of the old Jerry Rick attractions
were ripped out and it was renamed Mountain Creek. It
became a generic smalltown ski resort, golf course, and water park.
But the story isn't over just yet. UM. In twenty ten,
Intro West itself had to declare. UM had to declare

(01:26:40):
bankruptcy and sell Mountain Creek water Park and the ski resort,
and Jean, who was now in his like late seventies,
decided he wanted his theme park back, so he led
a group of investors to gain control the park again,
and he succeeded UM. But before he could fully enjoy
turning Action Park back into before he could turn Mountain
Creek back into Action Park, he died UM into into

(01:27:02):
two US, two US and twelve UM. He had he
he shouldn't have lasted into he was. He was seventy
eight years old. He died in his home in twos
and twelve. UM Two years later, Jean's son Andy, partially
capitalizing on nostalgia, revived the Action Park name and added
a few more kind of more action attractions and announced

(01:27:23):
plans for a new, updated version of the Cannonball Loop
designed by real engineers. Uh. That did not happen, UM,
And there's there's that. They're they're they're they're not they're
not not actually building it, because in seventeen the park
file for bankruptcy again, and a year later ownership changed
hands once more. UM, a Vernon native and former Action
Park employee Joe Hessan, who worked at the park for

(01:27:45):
eighteen years, bought controlling and then he went on to
become like a snowboarding businessman or whatever. UM. He bought
controlling shares in Action Park. UM and he had and
he uh will have. He has exclusive year round oversight
of the park's ski resort and water park operations, and
he is the new CEO UM. But as of Mountain

(01:28:08):
Creek was still in like twenty eight million dollars in
debt to the state. UM and and that's kind of
is obviously not open. Mountain Creek is open, but it's
like a boring golf course with a few water slides.
It's it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's. It's not Action
Park anymore. It is it's it's a totally different thing.
It's a ski resort with a few other attractions. Um.

(01:28:31):
And that's kind of the end of Action Park. I
know in the last few years it's gotten more popular
on the internet. I know last year there was an
HBO documentary came out made by Seth pork Is, um,
who I only I only found after I did tons
of research for this episode. I'm like, oh, someone already
did a really good job detailing this. That's gonna it's
pretty Um. It's it's, it's, it's, it's, it's it's a

(01:28:52):
great documentary. You can find a whole bunch of weird
articles on this. I would recommend you read the New
Jersey magazine article on it. It's just hilarious. Um. But yeah,
that is the place that I wish I could live at.
Uh sounds it sounds of like a blast. It's it's
everything that I actually want from libertarianism plus a bunch

(01:29:14):
of things I don't want, which is what libertarian get.
It's always what you get. This is why he's described
as like it's a mix of Iron Brand and Lord
of the Flies. It's like all of the things combined
to make this weird like eighties specific you know place
that is almost like a fever dream. Um, but yeah,
that is that is That is the story of Action Park,

(01:29:36):
probably the world's most dangerous amusement park, not not noting
noting park with the most deaths, but the most serious injuries. Absolutely. Um,
it's shocking how few people we have reported died there
based on like how ridiculous a lot of these riots.
I mean, it's gotta be because everyone was drunk enough

(01:29:57):
that they hit limp, you know. So. The one thing
I like understated is how many places you could get
alcohol for mostly free. We're actually parking so many alcohol stands.
They would just give it to the fourteen year old kids.
It's just I'm a certain amount of booze. Well, you
can't buy this, have it for free. Look, the law

(01:30:18):
says you can purchase alcohol, doesn't say we can't give
it to you. That says nothing about drinking and get
on them go cops, what's this stay gonna do? Stop me?
They can't do that. So yeah, that's that. That is Beeds.
They sent Diet on the Cannonball Rock anyway. All right,

(01:30:39):
so that is that is the episode. We ran a
little bit long just because there's so much to talk about.
But yeah, I've never loved anyone more. I've never been
more horrified by the thought of meeting he sounds He's real,
real creepy, like listening to his voice sounds exactly what
you think is that voice sounds like like like like,

(01:31:01):
think of what we've all said, now imagine him talking.
You got it. You got that's it. You got his voice. Yeah, Well,
do you have any palpable scarrison? Um, you can finally
posting about Catboy made rave outfits on Twitter dot com.
You can you do post about that stuff a lot?
I do now it's real fun. Yeah, just just just

(01:31:22):
mainly Twitter. I guess at Hungry bow Tie and read
read that weird Ingersey article because it is hilarious. Yeah. Yeah,
and shout out to Dan O'Brien, the only person from
New Jersey I've agreed to know. Um. All right, well,
welcome to the end of Behind the Bastards the podcast
that's over now, goodbye by

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