February 19, 2025 • 59 mins
Today on the show I'm joined by Pallavi Gunalan to talk about some of the coolest animals you can find in U.S. National Parks! Our national parks are home to some of the most stunning species on the planet, and are incredibly important reserves that protect the biological jewels of America. From adorable little cat-like critters that look like they came straight out of a fantasy, to the GOAT of horns, to a spiky little guy with biological weaponry, these are just three examples of the amazing animals found in National Parks. Discover this and more as we answer the age-old question: When is a cat not a cat and a toad not a toad?
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:06):
Welcome to Creature future production of iHeartRadio. I'm your host
of Many Parasites, Katie Golden. I studied psychology and evolutionary biology,
and today on the show, we're talking about some of
the coolest animals you can find in US national parks.
Our national parks are home to some of the most
stunning species on the planet and are incredibly important reserves
(00:28):
that protect the biological jewels of America. From adorable little
cat like critters that look like they came straight out
of a Miyazaki film to the goat of Horns who
as spiky little guy with biological weaponry. These are just
three examples of the amazing animals found in national parks.
Discover this and more as we answer the age old
(00:50):
question when is a cat not a cat? And a
toad not a toad? Joining me today is stand up
comedian writer and runs the Facial Recognition Comedy Show at
the Comedy Shore. Comedy Shore Comedy Store. Pullavigod All and.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Welcome, ohoy mate, We're at the comedy show.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
You're the Comedy Shore. She shells seashells by the air
at the Comedy Shore.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Taking a real hit. We're selling seashells now. You know,
I barely know where a barely sell her.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Yeah, cattlefish, I barely know a fish. This is why
you do stand up and I do sit down, Eddy,
sit down. Pre recorded comedy.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
We love it, We love all of it.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Uh yeah, so just for apropos of absolutely nothing. I
really wanted to talk about the national parks in the
the Gulf of Mexico, I mean the United States. The
it is. They're like one of no joke, one of
(02:09):
my favorite things about America. And you know they're in
danger right now due to funding cuts.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Due to apex predators, the white Man.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
Yes, yes, yeah, venture capitalists are going after our national parks.
They are cutting staff for no apparent reason, just like
n you know, you're all fired, which is very bad.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
I saw such a heartbreaking post from a dad who
was like, what do I tell my wife as she's
crying and I don't have a job, And he like
the way he wrote his whole post about it was
really beautiful. He was like, yeah, yeah, it's heartbreaking.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
And I yeah, I have a special place in my
heart for park rangers. This really stings, it really sucks.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
They's also like a key part of Indian culture. You
will not ever go to a national park and not
see an auntie in a sari with sneakers on. It
is very important to our culture to visit national parks,
national monuments, to be tourists in all of these areas,
just at the gas station nearby, heating up some food
(03:25):
that we packed ourselves, and like experiencing being American. Like
that is that's what we think America is. We all
buy a grill that we never use and we visit
national parks.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
I just don't think you're wrong. Who doesn't like who
doesn't like national parks? This is the thing that gets
me is I feel like everyone likes national parks. Like
everyone wants to go to the Grand Canyon, everyone wants
to go to Zion, to the Sequoias. It's everyone has
like experience enjoying national parks. They are so in credible
(04:00):
and amazing. And even if people are I know, like
probably all my listeners care about them also because of
conservation and animals. But even if you're just purely selfish,
it's just they're amazing to go to and look at.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Yeah, this is like cartoon villain. Yeah, let's find like
the things that people love the most you know, national
parks flying right side up and let's take it away
from them.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Yeah. By the way, if any of you out there
are happen to know or are park rangers, either current
or former, and you would like to talk about stuff
on the podcast, send me an email at Creature Feature
Pod at gmail dot com. I would love to talk
to you. Or if you're if you're shy, like some
of the animals we're about to talk about, you can
(04:50):
write to me and I will share your stories for sure,
because I feel like this is super important. So yeah,
let's let's talk about some of the amazing animal that
I feel like a lot of these just are not
some of them are not super well known, right, Like
everyone loves a good moose, a good bear that you
see at these national parks. But these guys are much
(05:13):
more elusive or maybe less glamorous. They get there less
in the spotlight. But they're really amazing. They're so cool.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
So the first one actors that like you see in everything,
but you don't know their name, right, like those guys
like that one guy the Radar exactly there is in Ghost,
the Animal World.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
He was in Ghost and he was in another movie
that guy. You know, yeah, that guy. I know what
you're talking that guy, that guy. Well, so this one
is amazing. So this is the ringtail cat and this
is found in Zion National Park. They're also found in Oregon, California, Nevada, Colorado, Texas, Arizona,
(05:53):
New Mexico, Oklahoma, Kansas, Baja California, and Mexico and dry
arid regions and Paulavia, I sent you, I sent you
a image of one of these little little guys.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
I got it. Also side note, my dog is partly
crazy right now because the people just walk past the
window and he sensed it in his crate. So he
has a natural enemy of my apartment building and it's
other dogs. But these do these creatures, do these beautiful
cats have a natural enemy other than the president?
Speaker 1 (06:29):
They they do. They actually can be preyed upon by
mountain lions, by by large birds of prey raptors. So
they are pretty. They can be pretty solitary and elusive
and shy. But they are actually even though they're called
ringtail cats, and they kind of look like a cat,
(06:51):
they look like a mix between like a cat and
maybe a mouse or a ferret with a long, fluffy
black and white striped tail.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
They're really beautiful.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
They're so gorgeous.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
They're gorgeous, and they look really sweet.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
They actually have a pretty nice disposition. Apparently they look
a little bit like, you know, the like in the
Avatar the Last Airbender cartoon, the Little guy Momo kind
of looks like that.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Actually, I still need to watch Avatar.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Wow, its like on my list of like five no spoilers. Okay,
that's on you if you speak for me. Okay, I'm
still it only came out decades ago, but I'm I'm
literally That's one of the things where I have this
thing where I'm like, Okay, I feel like I lost
parts of big American pop culture just because of my
(07:44):
family or like what I experienced or whatever. So I
have like a list of like things that I go
that I'm like, Okay, I need this to relate to
other people. And now that I'm thinking that, it might
be neurodivergence, but I don't I don't know.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
If I have that, but yeah, I'm gonna use I'm
going to use neurodivergence next time someone calls me out
on not knowing the lyrics to a song. I'm just
gonna be like, I'm neurodivergent.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
I gotta I don't think. I don't think that's it.
I think it's like the fact that I'm like I
need to like write down things to relate to people
or to understand pop culture moments, like I need to
consume this as as research on the human subject, like
I do.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
I am. I am going to use it as an excuse.
So I already use it as an excuse for parking
bad because I did read a study about people with
OCD not having as good spatial awareness. I do have OCD,
and so it's sorry.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
I mean, it's not cool, but it's like to learn
about you.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
It's very cool now. It wasn't cool when it was untreated,
but now it's it's a it's doing good. It gives
me a good excuse to like run into polls. But so,
the the ringtail cat, the cat back to the cat
actually not a cat, which you know, I could make
(09:04):
a joke about that driving my OCD crazy, but that's
not how it works. So the ringtail cats are not cats.
They're actually related to raccoons. Kuwaitis kinkajews and they're in
the Procyoniday family. So yeah, they're related to raccoons, not
not felines.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
They look like a little raccoon ish liketit. The hands,
you gotta get the little hands like yeah, those rifle
through trash, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
They do have very agile little hands. They they're actually
their ankles can rotate one hundred and eighty degrees. What
they can clime trees, they.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
Can be They're like exorcist hands.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
They're kind of exorcist hands. Yeah, so technically the exorcist
doesn't isn't that three hundred and sixty degrees because.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
It's all one hundred and eighty So it's not Although
they could I.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Think that means that they could open doors. So don't
get on you know, don't get on their bad.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
Side, you know, honestly, it's our fault for inventing doors.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Well, it is our fault for inventing doors. I would
want there to be a B and E with one
of these little guys, one of these green tail cats,
because they're super cute, steal all my stuff. They actually
they have a little imask going on, but instead of
it being a black I mask like with raccoons, it's
a white ie mask and it's kind of converted.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
The striping looks like raccoons. It does all making so
much sense.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
Yes, they're extremely cute. They weigh only around one to
three pounds, that's only up to one and a half kilograms.
Their tails are as long as their bodies, if not longer,
so about a foot long or a little longer.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
I know your audience is like, not the people I'm
talking about, and I know this is to like educate
people so that they value national parks. But I'm like
part of me with how cute these guys are, and
you're saying like they're more docile than other animals, I'm like,
we need to gate keep these because people are just
gonna go and mess with them, do you know what
I mean. I'm like, fortunately said those things. I was like,
(11:04):
let's protect them.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
Yeah. Fortunately they're very shy and elusive, so they they're
actually relatively understudied because they managed to be very solitary.
But in terms of in terms of like people trying
to turn them into pets, I don't think they're a
big part of the pet trade right now. They might
be a bit. I think they can sometimes be victims
(11:27):
of the pet trade, which is not good. But they
were like, there was an interesting situation which was like
for miners like gold miners and other types of or
or minors not under eighteen, not a minor, no, no, exactly.
Not people who cannot order or drink at a bar legally,
(11:47):
but people who go in these can't.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
No, I'm kidding.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
These probably would love to drink some alcohol. They are omnivorous,
so they will eat or drink about anything they can
get their little pause on. But miners, gold miners, other
ore miners. I don't really know mining history in the
US except for gold mining because I lived in California
and our school system was like you're learning about gold.
(12:12):
But yeah, they would actually kind of quasi tame them,
so they would keep them near their camps and feed
them little pieces of food, and then they would hang
out in these mining camps and then like kill the
mice and the rats and eat them, and so they
kind of kept them like housecats. But the key thing
(12:33):
there was that because these were mining camps out in
the wild, right, they basically were allowed to roam around that.
It's not so much that they kept them in cages
or anything like that.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
So they would just have like little hats with flashlights
on them. Yes, okay, I'm so little.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
Overalls where one of the straps is kind of falling
off their shoulder and the little little you know, a
little bit. It's very cute. It's extremely cute. There. Arboreal
meaning they spend most of their time in trees. Uh,
and they are very adept climbers. Like I mentioned before,
they can climb trees really well. They can also climb
(13:16):
vertical rock walls, and they know how to climb up
a cactus without getting stuck with the thors. And they'll
happily eat prickly pear fruits.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
So they are amazing.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Yeah, they're they're very they're very efficient in these like
are desert regions. If you're wondering what they sound like,
what's the matter?
Speaker 2 (13:42):
Under distress?
Speaker 1 (13:44):
He's he's fine. He's like on a roof someone's roof
and the person's like looking up at him and he's
kind of barking.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
So you know, he's the one who's like, where you're going, buddy,
that's the that's.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
The retail cago Like, where are you going? Buddy? Hey?
Hey are you going?
Speaker 2 (14:00):
I got just some gold again.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
So yeah, because of what I told you about them
having been sort of tamed by miners. They're also called
miners cats, and again, I'm really cute. I must emphasize
they are not cats, but yeah, they apparently had a
somewhat tamable disposition when they were bribed. But again, they
wouldn't make good pets in a domestic environment because they
(14:24):
need a lot of space. They're not super social animals either, Like,
they don't hang out with each other all that often.
They mostly hang out, uh, to groom each other or
to mate.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
I feel I was until you said that last part.
I was like, I feel like in another life, I
would have been one of these guys. And then you
were like they each other and mate. I'm like, I'm
not cleaning somebody else. I'm all alone most of the time.
And then I just go clean somebody else. No, thank you.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
I mean, yeah, I guess I'm I kind of like
that idea, just like hanging out eating, eating random stuff
and then getting your hair brushed by buddy.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
It's like going to the salon for your Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
I I'm one of I'm one of those freaks who
enjoys going to get my haircut because of the because
of the shampooing. Oh yeah. Yeah, I'm one of.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
Those sometimes you need somebody else to do it.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
I mean, it's it, it is. It's like, it's obviously
I can shampoo my own hair.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
But whoa, whoa, whoa.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
But stand when I have to get my hair cut
and they're like shampooing it. I'm like, you know, I
didn't realize how much better other people are at shampooing hair.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
The angles, it's the angles, and then they use more
of their arm strength, right, you know, it's like a massage.
It's weird.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
It's like they're ripping off parts of my scalp, but
in a good way and I like it.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
So anyways, uh yeah, so they're uh, there have been.
Because they're so secretive. It's a little bit hard to
know too much about them because they they are elusive.
But there have been some more recent studies that aim
to learn more about them, including a collaboration between Oregon
(16:21):
State University, the hoop Up Valley Tribe, Penn State, and
cow Poly Humboldt. And some of the newer information that
they have about them is how they carefully select tree
hollows from older trees to take naps in uh to
stay safe from bad weather. And to occasionally groom each other.
They're cute. Yeah, it's very cute. They also sometimes make
(16:44):
their homes and abandoned mine shafts, which is it's like
they're not they're not acts, they're not beating the little
the cobald hobgoblin allegations. Oh my god. So yeah, because
because they're so dependent on trees, loss of habitats such
as old growth oak woodlands would threaten their population. Apparently,
(17:08):
this past year in Arizona, ringtails have been rescued at
higher rates due to suburban sprawl and hot weather. Because
they like nooks and crannies and trees, they'll sometimes try
to find the same resources in human structures, so they'll
get stuck in our attics, our walls, plumbing, our cars.
There's this article at kj's ez Phoenix with a photo
(17:32):
of the saddest little ringtail I've ever seen. He's damp
from being bathed a bunch of times because he got
stuck in a tortilla factory's oil transfer to No. Yeah,
he's just try and get some tortillas. He gots stuck.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
He's so cute.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
He's so cute. Apparently it was pretty touch and go
with him. He did survive, but they're like, yeah he has.
He was covered in tortilla grease and poor.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Okay you you and me too, brother, Okay. Some days
it's just like that, all right, and just.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
You know, yeah, I mean it's it's very cute and
it's a very sad, funny little story and it's it's
it's good because it had a good ending because he
did get rescued, but it is it does emphasize the
importance that they keep their habitat because they just they
they they like go on a tube, right, thinking it's
gonna be a tree, and then it's full of tortilla grease, delicious,
(18:33):
deadly tortilla grease.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
I worry, but I want your perspective. But I worry
about this so much. Like I've been seeing coyote coyotes
or yeah, coyotes in my neighborhood more, and I feel
like they're that urban sprawl thing where we're just like
impeding on their environment, is like really messing them up,
like and that's for sure for our pets. Like no,
(18:55):
I'm so worried about it.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
It's it's very concerning, yeah, for sure. Like one of
the like coyotes are much more likely to go after
your pets, your little dogs or cats when they are
when they're when they don't have enough sort of ample
resources in their own habitat, enough rabbits and other rodents
to feed on, and then they'll come in and then
(19:18):
people like really hate them. But they're just you know,
they're just trying to they're just trying to live. They
don't they don't.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
Make it in the city like the rest of us Acholizin,
you know.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
They don't. I know that all one eating a beloved pet.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
I saw one go after a cat. It didn't get it,
but I was like, we gotta get these cats off
the streets. And these coyotes, yeah, after their environment, Like
what is going on?
Speaker 1 (19:40):
If coyotes live around you or birds, it's probably a
good idea to keep the kitties inside. I'm gonna say, hot, Yeah,
kitties they will be you can entertain them with attention.
They they will survive.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
Also, like the you know how we're always like, oh,
humans weren't meant to see the Internet, Like our brains
aren't meant for this. I don't think the things that
we've done to animals, like the animals' brains aren't meant
to meet each other, you know, like like some of
these creatures are not meant to interact ever, and they do,
and they're like, do I eat this?
Speaker 1 (20:17):
What is this? You know? Yeah? Crazy? No, absolutely, And
I mean obviously it also increases chance of zoonotic diseases
jumping from species to species. Yet it's very it's incredibly
important to maintain and preserve the habitats of these animals both.
I mean there's a lot of reasons. Number one, they
are devastatingly cute. Look this little guy and the eyes all.
(20:42):
I'll provide the pictures in the show, the little one
that got stuck in the tortilla factory grease trap, Like
he's so sad.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
And makes his eyes look bigger. Yeah, boots picture where
like they z into the eyes.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
Sorry this out. Send it to your congress person and say, really,
we're getting rid of National Park staff when these little
guys are getting stuck in tortilla factories.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
But it's the congress people will immediately try to make
them pets. I'm just like so cynical.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
I thought you were gonna say, like Corrolla de Ville
style like that.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
Too is going to walk around with these fringing boots
on with these tails just.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Like just like a oh god, yeah, you know, well
they're ghoules, but hey, there are still good people out
there rescuing these these little ringtail cats from tortilla factories.
So we're going to take a quick break and when
we get back, we're going to talk about another fantastic
(21:52):
animal that you can find in the national parks. So
pull a b We're talking about big horn and thin
horn sheep. Uh. These are one of the bigger animals
that you can find in North American national parks, and
they are pretty incredible. So there are two species of
(22:14):
mountain sheep, the big horn sheep and then the thin
horn or doll sheep, and they're both really beautiful animals.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
So majestic.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
They are so majestic that they're they're like very iconic.
The big horn sheep have the males have these incredible,
like what do you think horns on their heads that
are massive and heavy. So, uh, first I'll talk a
little bit about the doll sheep. They are found in
(22:45):
the Dnali National Park in the US. They're also found
in Canada and Nali.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
Yeah, keeping the name.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
You know what, I have a very selfishly sentimental connection
to the name Danali, which is this is this is
super like when I was a little kid, there was
an ice cream called Denali. I was like, why is
it called Denali? Because it was super good? And then
I like looked up it was like, oh, it's like
(23:11):
named after these beautiful mountains, and it was just like
and then so I would like imagine that I was
like in the mountains eating this ice cream. So it's like,
you know, you will pry that name out of my
cold dead hands. Also because it's you know, it's grotesque
to try to rename it, uh, because that's that's the
(23:32):
original name.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
And from I know, you're not gonna eat McKinley ice cream. Ew,
that's not disgusting. It tastes like cardboard.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Okay, it's like it's just got like little shriveled cherries
in it and nonsense and whole peanuts with the shells on.
It's discussed. Oh my god, Yeah, McKinley ice cream ice cream? No, yeah, no,
So it's not in National Park. They're also found in Canada, Alaska,
and they tend to be in the sort of more
old regions, although big horn sheep also can survive in
(24:04):
the cold, and they can have their coat can change
from being very thin to being fluffy depending on seasonal changes.
Big horn sheep are found in a variety of national parks,
such as Yellowstone in Wyoming, Montana, and Idaho. They're found
in Zion National Park in Utah. They're found in the
(24:24):
Oehe Canyonlands in Idaho and Oregon, in Hell's Canyon in Washington,
Oregon and Idaho, in the bad Lands National Park in
South Dakota, in the Desert National Wildlife Refuge in Nevada,
which was specifically created to protect big horn sheep, and
they're also found in Mueller Ranch in Colorado. You can
(24:46):
even find a desert big horn sheep in the Sierras
in California. These are just super They're iconic for America.
They're found everywhere in these national park.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
I one thousand percent get why people would worship like
a like a goat looking god, you know what I mean.
They're so impressive, they're so majestic.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
They look like they have seen the universe, you know
what I mean. Then those weird little eyes of theirs.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
And then it looks like their horns like have their
like their intelligence stored in them.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
You know, yes, they do have a little bit of
the It almost kind of looks like the Twilight's from
Star Wars, you know what I mean. I think that's
what they're named, the ones with things that Ye Anyway.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
That's probably where they got it from with these guys,
because they were everywhere.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
I think the bighorn sheep might be getting sued by
Disney pretty soon here.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
Uh, probably we've got to protect bighorn sheep from little
litigationious Disney.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
So bighorn sheep are related to sheep and goats and
thank god, yeah this is I tossed in two animals
or who have deceptive names, but this one, fortunately the
name does fit. So a male's horns are roughly ten
percent of their body weight, okay, and they weigh over
(26:12):
three hundred pounds or about that's the whole sheet. Not
that the horns aren't three hundred pounds yeah, yeah, that
would be incredible shit. But apparently their horns weigh as
much as all their other bones combined, like their entire skeleton.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
That is crazy.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
So it's like imagine like wearing a whole other your
skeleton on your head.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
This feels like a kim Kardashian level of uncomfortable outfit
at the met gala. You know what I mean. Yeah,
Like these guys are really putting everything into their horns.
They don't care how uncomfortable it is to carry them.
They're all about it.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
I do actually like wearing a head piece that's an
entire human skeleton would be kind of dope, like, especially if.
Speaker 2 (26:56):
That would actually be more Lady Gaga I think, right anybody.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
Especially if it's like modeled after your own skeleton. That's
like a real like fierce memento moriy, like really owning it,
like look what's inside, This is what's inside me, and
I'm wearing it on my head. Anyways, youse also have horns,
so use our female big horn sheep.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
But they're sure that you were just getting into like
an accent. Like youse also have hornsuse.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
Guys, I'm just a mobster from Chicago. Uh No, they
also have horns, but they're they're smaller and thinner. The
reason males have the giant horns sexus. It's sexism for sure.
It's literally sexual selection. The females are attracted to the
big horns, and also they use them in contests with
(27:45):
other males to fight for the right to mate, so
they'll like, you know, bonk each other with the horns.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
Or just human males should also hit each other in
the head.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
Yeah, you know what, like just run out each other
and just massive head bonk uh and and we'll like
flutter our little fans and like judge you uh I
like that idea. So uh yeah, they're very They're adept climbers.
They can scale relatively sheer cliff faces, allowing them to
(28:17):
escape predator. They're very agile for being such big animals
and so top heavy. They are surprisingly very very adept,
very graystile climbers.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
Are these like the ones that you see at like
the Hoover Dam, just like scaling like the side of
the or those like goats.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
Those might be mountain goats, but let me check Hoover Dam.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
I don't know if it's like the Hoover you know
what I mean, like they.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
Close a mountains, those are those are goat? I believe
those are mountain goats or let me dam Hoover Yeah,
I know, I like them. Uh, but yeah, mountain goats
at the Hoover Dam. That's that might be what those are,
but there might be but yeah, bighorn sheep are near
(29:08):
the Hoover Dam. You might see them near there. They
might scale it a little bit, but the ones that
can really like get up a dam like get Like.
Mountain goats are actually really cool. They're related to big
horn sheep. But mountain goats are not just good climbers.
They seem to defy gravity. They can hook onto nearly
(29:30):
completely vertical sheer cliff faces, and their little hooves just
like fit right on there, and it is it is incredible.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
I think the impressive part is that they aren't scared,
because I would be like, I would be the mountain
goat that's like shaking up there. I'd be like, oh,
you guys, But all of them are just like munching
on food.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
It helps to have a small brain. I think, like
when you have a brain that's big enough to contemplate
sort of physics, like you start to get worried. But
then when you're when you have mountain goat brain and
you're like, I see grass up there, do do do?
Do do do, and then you just don't think about
sort of the wid like it's like the wily kayote thing,
like yeah, wiley coyote where It's like, if you don't
(30:13):
look down and you don't realize you're supposed to fall,
physics just bends to your stupid will. So that's that,
I know. That's I always whenever I saw the wily
coyote thing, it's like, well, if he just like keeps
thinking he won't fall, then he won't fall.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
So, oh my god, that's such a wonderful moral that
coyote taught children.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
Right, I used to. I tried the wily coyote thing.
I thought if I like jumped off of like uh
the like stairsteps and but didn't look down, maybe I
would have her in mid air. But it didn't work.
I try to find gravity, Oh boy. I also tried
to hold an umbrella up and see if that would
(30:57):
help me slow down, but it didn't do.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
You know what, the most cartoonish thing I ever did.
I was born in Texas and we.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
Had already pretty cartoonish but go.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
Pretty cartoonish, I know, but we had these like big
fields up front, like I have just like the weirdest memory.
I was literally like two probably, so it's like probably
one of my first memories. And like me and my
brother and the neighbor kids we would take like like
flat cardboard boxes and hold them up above our heads
to get make the wind pick us up yep, and
(31:27):
like I would. I was the one who would fly
the farthest because I was the smallest one. I was
like literally too, I was like, that is That's the
most cartoonish shit I've ever done.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
That's amazing. I would give anything to see a two
year old just getting launched into the air by cardboard.
I know that sounds you got some sick air, and
that sounds amazing. So yeah, bighorn sheep teach us a
lot about the importance of conservation. They almost died out
completely in the nineteen hundreds due to over hunting and disease.
(32:00):
Their populations dwindled to just like around one thousand, but
they made a miraculous comeback did to the national park
system and conservation efforts, and now big horn sheep populations
are used as signals for the overall health of the environment.
They're highly responses. They're highly responsive to environmental changes such
(32:23):
as like say, if you have too much fire suppression,
say in a national park, not enough wildfires, they actually
get preyed upon more because you have more bushy scrub
that predators like bears, wolves or mountain lions can use
as coverage to ambush the bighorn sheep. So it's really interesting.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
I also use bushy scrub as coverage. Okay, whoa, whoa,
whoa cooglar over here?
Speaker 1 (32:56):
Meow? All right? Well side uh the yes angela Mrkin
the former German chancellor uh merkele uh uh so yeah,
so it shows how the there's a delicate balance, right, Like,
(33:19):
so sometimes we use fire suppression tactics, right because hey,
you don't want stuff to be on fire, But then
when you do it too much, then you have overgrowth
of scrub, and then that affects the population of these
bighorn sheep because predators have more spots to hideen. Conversely,
if you have too much fire, then predators don't have
enough spots to hiden, and then the predators suffer. Right,
(33:41):
It's not all about like thwarting the predators. The predator's
populations are super important as well.
Speaker 2 (33:47):
I mean, I don't want no scrubs because a scrub
is a guy, get no love for me. So I
feel like those are predators, you know.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
Yeah, there you go, there you go. So uh yeah,
I mean it is. It's really important. Also, the thin
horn sheep that I mentioned earlier also an indicator species
because they live in colder climates, like in high altitudes.
Climate change affects colder climates pretty significantly because you suddenly
(34:19):
get these big shifts and vegetation. So the behavior and
population changes in thin horn sheep are indicators of overall
environmental health. So they're called an indicator species. Really important
to track them, and in order to track them you
need staff at national parks. So yeah, I think it's
(34:41):
just like in the same way that I'm going to do.
I promise you this is a metaphor that makes sense
in the same way that like we have to I'm
here for now. Now I don't write opinion columns for
The New York Times. My metaphors make sense. But the
way in which like our environment works, right, Like if
(35:04):
you pull out a species or or affect a population
and then it has this Janga tower effect of like
affecting everything in that chain. Like it's a similar situation
with the way that like, okay, if you just fire
a bunch of park rangers, you know, without thought, without
any I mean, you should never just fire a bunch
(35:25):
of park rangers because they're awesome, but also like all
the things that they do, all the all the important
functions that they do to like keep uh, the national
parks functioning. It's we're probably not gonna like immediately see
the impacts, but we're gonna see them, and they will
not be good in the same way that say, like
(35:45):
if you if there's too much wildfire or too little wildfire,
you'll see these like fluctuations or population crashes happening in
these these magnificent animals. So you know, that's that's my metaphor.
The the ecosystem of animals is similar to the ecosystem
of federal workers, and I am very concerned about it.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
It's also a thing where like you don't see the
effects right away, so then people will blame like if
there is an next administration, a next administration, rather than
like realizing that cause and effect takes it like a minute.
You know.
Speaker 1 (36:21):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's it's it really frustrates me. It's
it's very infuriating. But yeah, uh, you know, maybe we
should take the a key a que a clue. Maybe
we should take advice from the big horn sheep and
just grow massive horns. On our head and start headbutting everyone.
(36:45):
We're going to take a quick break, and when we
get back, we're going to talk about a little critter
who has a bioweapon. All right, So, uh, I don't
want to cause the United States to try to do
an invasion of national parks. However, it is true that
(37:06):
there is an animal that does have a bioweapon.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
It's me, Twist, it's me quick, tell the FBI ah
on my phone.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
Yeah, oh he's been fired. So you know the horn
lizard also known as the horny toad, which is a
pretty bad name. Yeah, they're not toads, so they're not.
Speaker 2 (37:33):
The whole time, I thought they were two different First
I thought they were two different things. No, and then
so they named Okay, is it scientists naming these things
because we have to do better? To do better?
Speaker 1 (37:45):
I mean, I think scientists named them horned lizard to
clarify it. But they used to be called horny toads
because people didn't know the difference.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
Okay, Well, I think we need to take the ornithologists
that study birds. We need to take the people, and
we need them to start naming the other animals because
today we had so many misnomers and the horny bird
people they like they'll name they'll be like the big
breasted tint, you know what I mean, Like they'll just
make a hornyird.
Speaker 1 (38:15):
Yeah, but it.
Speaker 2 (38:15):
Looks like that, you know what I mean. Like I mean, these.
Speaker 1 (38:19):
Are these are literally horned lizards, so getting some hornybird
people on it would probably be helpful. So horned lizards
are found in Mexico and North America. They are a
genus of lizards with about twenty one species, fifteen of
which are found in the US, and are a common
sight in Well. They're a little elusive, but they can
(38:39):
be found in many national parks, such as Bryce Canyon,
UH and Arizona's Petrified Forest National Park.
Speaker 2 (38:47):
They are so scared. It's so scared of being cut.
Speaker 1 (38:51):
Look at that liard, it's got too many angles.
Speaker 2 (38:54):
Bring our parks back, please.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
So horned lizards are spikey. They range from a grayish
gravel color to a tan color depending on their habitat.
They're really really cool looking. They're very They've got these
wicked looking spikes. They kind of look like tiny dragons,
but they're actually harmless. They don't have any venom. Their
main defense is staying still and hoping nobody notices them,
(39:20):
which is.
Speaker 2 (39:21):
My favorite tack in the green room of a comedy clubs.
Speaker 1 (39:24):
Exactly like whenever I go to a party and it's
like like I know one person there and then they
freaking abandon me. They're like, oh, come to this right
and then I go there and then they're like, oh,
I'm gonna go talk to this person. It's like you
you brought me here. I am like your baby right now,
you abandoned me.
Speaker 2 (39:45):
Parties. Parties are meant to like bring someone to talk
to one person.
Speaker 1 (39:50):
Yes, that was my understanding. This is why I agreed
to come. I was gonna be I was basically going
to be like a little puppy and follow you around
and have you introduced me to people.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
This is why every party should have one dog. Okay,
so that for people like us who just want to
talk to the dog.
Speaker 1 (40:08):
Yeah, yeah, oh is this your dog, I'm gonna I'm
gonna form a connection with them because uh yeah. That
My problem is not that I I'm actually I quite
like people and I like meeting people. It is the
thing of like when two people are talking, is when
do I When do I approach and do I stand there,
and when do I start laughing at what they're saying.
(40:31):
I don't know if no one's ever taught me that.
Speaker 2 (40:33):
Do you remember how we talked about neurodivergence earlier in I.
Speaker 1 (40:36):
Don't see how this. I'm not sure. I don't I
don't understand what point.
Speaker 2 (40:41):
I also, also, this is a tip. I just started
inserting myself into conversations and being like, hey, I'm just
gonna be in this conversation now and then. Yeah, people
are generally welcoming and if they're not, well, yeah, there's
always roasting them.
Speaker 1 (40:58):
Or you can take a page from the horned lizard's
book and inflate your body to look big and scary
despite only being about the size of an adult human's palm,
so they will, yeah, just like, oh you won't talk
to me, raw, no big ignore.
Speaker 2 (41:15):
Oh my god, I would love to do that, Oh
my god. Yeah amazing.
Speaker 1 (41:19):
Also, if that fails, there are eight species of horned
lizards who will have a special extra technique, and that
is that they squirt blood out of their eye sockets.
Speaker 2 (41:32):
Okay, when you said out of the eyes, I do
squirt blood, but not out of there. So yeah, when
I am disruped.
Speaker 1 (41:40):
It sounds like it's still it still sounds pretty skilled.
But yeah, they will block the blood flow in their
head and then force it through ruptured vessels around their
eyelids at high pressures, allowing them to allowing them to
shoot jets of blood up to five feet or one
and a half meters away.
Speaker 2 (42:00):
I'm gonna say this, This might be a stretch, but
I do think they're a little bit more anti social
than you. Honestly, he knows, just a dad, but I
think they're beating you on this.
Speaker 1 (42:10):
I if I was able to shoot jets of blood
out of my eyes, I might have never been forced
to learn to be more gregarious, because, man, can you
like every awkward social interaction you're just like, well, you know,
it's like an Irish goodbye, but a lot more cleaning involved.
Speaker 2 (42:33):
I like the idea of like, oh my god, Katie
just spewed again.
Speaker 1 (42:37):
Not again.
Speaker 2 (42:38):
Kay, You're like, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it.
Speaker 1 (42:41):
Yeah. It's a way to startle predators, and it has
a nasty taste and smell that certain predators don't like.
They these this is the.
Speaker 2 (42:51):
Freak predators that like it.
Speaker 1 (42:53):
Birds apparently don't care. Apparently, like wrap will they do?
Birds are?
Speaker 2 (42:59):
They're us like the scientists that name them there freaks.
Speaker 1 (43:03):
They're a little freaks. They they don't really care. They
they don't have a good sense of smell. So when
the if they try to get spray a predatory bird
with this business, they're just like, oh season like sauce. Yeah,
sauce scha nice? Uh So yeah, they the horned lizards
(43:23):
have a diet of harvester ants which are somewhat toxic.
Uh And it's thought that possibly that diet might help
their blood taste worse. So yeah, it's it's like basically
squirting a hot sauce out of your eyes that's made
out of your blood, which you know, that's I think that.
(43:44):
Did you ever have one of those kids in your
class where they were able to like manipulate their the
the tear ducts in their eyes and like squirt water
out of their eye?
Speaker 2 (43:54):
No, I thought you were gonna say, gleeking like with
the saliva thing.
Speaker 1 (43:57):
I've seen that. Yeah, there's a kid. I think I
did both of it, and it was.
Speaker 2 (44:01):
Oh my god, I've never heard of that before.
Speaker 1 (44:03):
It was gross. I didn't like it or the kid
that could like turn their eyelids inside out.
Speaker 2 (44:09):
Oh yeah, there was that kid.
Speaker 1 (44:11):
Oh yeah, a lot of Honestly, we don't talk.
Speaker 2 (44:13):
Enough about body horror in elementary schools.
Speaker 1 (44:16):
Yeah. Yeah, there's a lot of stuff that I made
me not want to go to school, like people squirting
fluids out of their faces, like you know, I feel
like that's not a conducive environment to learn about the
American Civil War. So another aspect of the horned lizards
(44:40):
is that they have scales that are highly not just
the spiked ones, but they have these very tiny scales
that form these micro channels that help wick moisture from
the air and funnel it into their mouth. It's such
a yeah, it's such an ingenious design that scientists are
trying to replicate artificial versions, which could help in a
(45:02):
lot of applications. It could be like anything from like
water collection systems like to breweries. I don't really know
how a brewery would use this, but breweries you probably know,
or reducing condensation in medical devices, so like making it
easier to make beer or medical devices. It a win
(45:24):
wind to help after you drink like a lot of beer,
right right, Like drink a lot of beer and then
you can have an artificial kidney. But yeah, I mean
their ability, these lizards ability to use water in their
bodies is so efficient. They don't have a separate urinary bladder.
They only expel waste in their feces, Like they don't
(45:45):
need to peek because they just use water so good.
Speaker 2 (45:48):
Oh my god, I mean they're squirting it out of
their blood eyes. But like, yeah, that's very efficient.
Speaker 1 (45:54):
Yeah, no, it's absolutely incredible. And again it.
Speaker 2 (45:57):
Would save me at least three hours a day if
I could.
Speaker 1 (46:00):
We can research these guys figure out how not to pee.
I mean again, like this is there. There's a concept
which is that like with animals, because they are the
products of millions of years of evolution, they contain a
lot of information. And I obviously, if you've made it
this far in the podcast, you just love animals, so
(46:22):
you don't need another reason to want to protect them.
Speaker 2 (46:24):
Or it also contains a lot of information, so that's
why they listened.
Speaker 1 (46:29):
That's true, so that they're trying to write down like,
all right, which animals do we gotta gotta exploit? H No,
But it's it's a it is a it's like there's
a library of potential information. Right, So, like, if animals
go extinct and or we lose them, or we aren't
able to, you know, research them because we've laid off
(46:54):
everyone who might be able to research them, we lose
so much information that can very selfishly help humanity, right. Like,
There's a a great example of this is there's this
frog called the gastric brooding frog, and they would keep
their offspring in their gut like in their stomachs, and
somehow their digestive juices would not burn their tadpoles alive.
(47:19):
And then once the little tadpoles grew into froglets, they
could like come out of the adult frog's mouth. But
like the whole the like figuring out.
Speaker 2 (47:31):
I thought that's how we gave birth to Oh well,
I'm gonna I'm gonna have to talk to Polavi after
the show.
Speaker 1 (47:37):
Oh no, but yeah, if we if we hadn't lost
this animal, like, we might have been able to do
more research onto things like ulcers, gastro esophageal reflux disease.
Speaker 2 (47:51):
We lost.
Speaker 1 (47:52):
It's super sad, It's really really sad. And so right now,
horned lizard populations are declined due to suburban sprawl land development,
the pet trade, invasive species of vegetation without they depend
so much on our national parks, and like if we
lose our national parks or if our national parks are
just left to sort of be exploited, I don't know
(48:15):
that the horned lizards would survive that, like honestly, so
it's very concerning to me. And again, like I know
all of you out there just love animals and want
the best for them for their own sake. But it's
also like if you're ever talking about someone who's like,
why would I care about a horned lizard, It's like
there's so much potential interesting research that could be derived
(48:38):
from them, Like semaglutide was derived from kila monsters. So
it's it's just all of these like developments in human
medicine and technology, a lot of it comes from our
understanding of animals, and so just from a selfish perspective
of wanting cool stuff or medical advancements should make people
care about them.
Speaker 2 (48:59):
But you know, souf we name the monsters after using
them for semi gluten.
Speaker 1 (49:04):
Yeah, also for also for anticoagulants, which are.
Speaker 2 (49:09):
Oh yeah, also it's for the no I know you
were listening just the selfish reasons, but for the non
selfish reasons. It's like, why are we freaking up the
world so bad? We're just one creature. Yeah, why do
we have a right to completely destroy other animals?
Speaker 1 (49:27):
It's yeah, no, I mean, I I agree, I think
it's messed up, but it's uh yeah, so i I'm
I'm just I'm I'm just upset about the the uh,
park rangers being laid off because there's some of the
coolest people out there. Honestly, like, park rangers are a
(49:47):
national treasure. Like if you've ever been in a national
park and you're like, oh, like I stepped in poop,
and they're like, actually, that's the poop of like this
rare mountain goat or like this incredible like kuwaiti or
you know, like oh, actually, all right, so now my
day is not ruined by poop. I've been educated and
this is really cool. Uh. And yeah, they've like they
(50:10):
save people's lives when they go on hikes and like,
I have a hydrated.
Speaker 2 (50:14):
Been saved by a part I'm telling me not to
do something really dumb.
Speaker 1 (50:19):
Yeah, they have like like when like they they are
the reasons that people can enjoy this mostly untouched nature
in such an intimate, wonderful way. And so I'm again
if you're if you are a former current park ranger
or no one uh and you'd like to get in
touch with me for to share your story. You can
(50:42):
write to me a Creature feature pod at gmail dot com.
I need their love, to have you on the on
the show, or read your emails, whatever would work best
for you. Guys. I just you know, man, I am
I'm a little pisd. I'm just I want to squirt
blood out of my eyes up to five feet away.
Speaker 2 (51:04):
Yeah, I feel like that's but that's you like base level,
you know.
Speaker 1 (51:07):
Yeah, I'm gonna start out. I'm gonna start out with
blood squirting out of my eyes and then we'll go
from there.
Speaker 2 (51:14):
We'll go from there. We'll see what we need to do.
I do want to say like a positive thing. I
really went through the five stages of grief about this
gastric brooding frog you told me about it. I was like,
this is horrific because I don't like thinking about extinct
animals because it makes me so sad. But Australian scientists
in twenty thirteen, according to Wikipedia, created a living embryo
(51:37):
from non living preserved genetic material. And then people from
the University of Newcastle they've also successfully freezed and thawed
tote to potent amphibian embryonic cells, so they have a
proof of concept for threatening and extinction. Yeah, attempts. But
(51:59):
here's the thing. If we don't have the same people
that are trying to get rid of park rangers are
also trying to get rid of scientific funding, and so
we can't just automatically bring species back to life. All
of I feel like all of the attempts people who
are believe in climate change, people who are trying to
save the animals, people are trying to save people in parks,
Like they're all on like a certain side of the
(52:21):
spectrum of politics, and they all like are working together
and not trying to you know, like you can't just
assume that scientists are going to bring back extinct species
because the same people that are working against park rangers
are working against them.
Speaker 1 (52:38):
So yeah, no, it's it's in you know, like if
you have sort of like these samples, right, Like that's
one of the things that's scary about like a sudden
loss in funding is like where are you storing these
like samples or these embryos and stuff like, well they're
they're they have to be preserved and stored. And so
if you suddenly like pull the plug on some research
(52:59):
like things can just get destroyed.
Speaker 2 (53:01):
To the point where you can, yeah, like where are
we keeping the information?
Speaker 1 (53:05):
Yeah? Absolutely so send a picture of that poor little
uh tortilla sauce covered ringtail cat to your senator today.
So before we go, let's play a little game to
you know, you know, let's end on a positive note,
which is that animals sound fun. We're gonna play a
(53:28):
little game called guests Who's squawk in the Mystery Animal
Sound game. Every week I play mystery animal sound and
you the listener to you, the guests try to guess
who is making that sound. Last week's Mystery animal sound,
the hint was this, don't stick your head in the
sand for this one, all right, you got any guesses, Pulvi,
(53:55):
that sounds kind of like owl y cowy, interesting like booting.
That is that is a really interesting guess. And you
are on the right track because this is a bird,
but this is actually an ostrich.
Speaker 2 (54:13):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (54:14):
Yeah. Congratulations to Aaron Kay and Mary d. For guessing correctly.
This is a male ostrich booming male ostriches.
Speaker 2 (54:23):
Three boom boom like that like that TikTok guy three booms,
I give that five booms. That guy the rizzler, What
is it? I don't know.
Speaker 1 (54:32):
I'm not on TikTok enough to know this, but I.
Speaker 2 (54:35):
Barely I know it from like memes on other social medias.
Speaker 1 (54:40):
But this is a male ostrich booming. Male Ostriches make
this sound to stick out their territorial or to try
to attract the ladies. And don't lie to me. Listening
to this, you're a little bit interested, right like, oh yeah,
that sounds like a hot and sexy ostrich. If the
female is impressed, the male might have a chance to
offer a mating dance where he flutters his beautiful fluffy
(55:02):
feathers around like a burlesque dancer, and if she's impressed,
she will allow him to mate with her. Uh So,
you know ostriches really they.
Speaker 2 (55:14):
Just went to the Liver Living Desert Zoo in Palm
Desert and I got to feed giraffes and it was
like a holistic experience for me. And then we saw
them running. First of all, giraffes run like they're inslaw
motion like the whole time, like it's not slowed down
at all. They just like run like that. And then
also I think they were like it looked like ostriches
from Afar in the same little area as the giraffes,
(55:38):
and it was really cool to see them like be
in the same spot and like interact.
Speaker 1 (55:43):
It was the long next squad. Yeah for long next,
long next.
Speaker 2 (55:48):
Squad, long neck hive.
Speaker 1 (55:49):
Rise up, all right onto this week's mister animal sound.
The hint is this, some people just have a prickly personality.
Speaker 2 (56:01):
Okay, I think I know it from contact closed.
Speaker 1 (56:03):
Yeah, anythink right, You're absolutely correct, but yes, the I
will I will quack out the correct answer, but everyone
will know POLIVI was right.
Speaker 2 (56:16):
Yay.
Speaker 1 (56:17):
You win the satisfaction of knowing that you are one
with mother nature.
Speaker 2 (56:25):
That's huge for me.
Speaker 1 (56:26):
This is crazy.
Speaker 2 (56:27):
I don't think I've ever gotten one of these riders,
which really happy.
Speaker 1 (56:30):
Yes, it's fantastic gifts. Absolutely correct. If you think you
know who's making that sound, you can write to me
at Creature feature pot at gmail dot com. Also, if
you you are or no park rangers and you want
to share your stories. Also get in touch with me
there creature feature pot at gmail dot com. Uh POLIVI
thank you so much for joining me the gate to
(56:51):
joining me today. Where can people find you?
Speaker 2 (56:54):
I'm at Paula Viganalan p A L l A v
I g U n A l A n everywhere except
this time just call it, which is cool.
Speaker 1 (57:01):
Whoa you got in there? I wish I had just
gotten Katie. I won Katie.
Speaker 2 (57:08):
Pretty early, and then I just didn't use it for
a year. But now I'm like, you think it a
lot since it's fun and yeah, I run with my
friends a show at the comedy store called DATS Recognition Comedy.
I'm also like, I really need you guys to follow
me on social media and like come to my shows
because I am unemployed, okay, like many park rangers right now,
(57:30):
and I am trying to tour and so I'm going
to like Portland, I'm gonna go to SS I'm going
to text it like I'm trying to tour. I have
two dogs. Okay, dog sitting is expensive. You guys are
animal lovers, Please sponsor my dogs. Okay, so come to shows,
pay me money, help me do this profession.
Speaker 1 (57:49):
Like take the most pathetic photo of your dogs as
you can of them.
Speaker 2 (57:54):
Looking I'm so sad a picture of me wet in
afternoon tortilla.
Speaker 1 (57:59):
A greetin a tortilla factory gets stuck in it.
Speaker 2 (58:03):
I have the grease. I'm constantly around stuck.
Speaker 1 (58:06):
In a grease tube and then get rescued and then
start like be like, come to my comedy show. Otherwise
I have to resort to licking tortilla grease out of
a tube.
Speaker 2 (58:15):
One hundred. That's already me right now, So I'm gonna
post it.
Speaker 1 (58:19):
Guy. If you want to save pull A B from
a fate of being stuck in tortilla factory grease tubes,
go to her shows. Check her out. Hell yeah, thank
you guys so much for listening. If you're enjoying the
show and you leave a rating your review that tangibly
helps me. Thanks to the Space Classics for their super
awesome song x so Lumina. Creature features a production of
(58:40):
iHeart Radio. For more podcasts like the one you just heard,
visit the iHeartRadio app Apple past I'll do that again.
Creature features a production of iHeart Radio for more podcasts
like the one you just heard. Visit the iHeart Radio app,
Apple podcasts, or hey, guess what wherever you listen to
your favorite shows. I can't tell you what to do.
(59:01):
I'm not your mother, but do try not to get
stuck in a tortilla factory grease pipe. It's you will
have to get so many babs, so many babs. All right, guys,
see you next Wednesday,
Welcome to Creature future production of iHeartRadio. I'm your host
of Many Parasites, Katie Golden. I studied psychology and evolutionary biology,
and today on the show, we're talking about some of
the coolest animals you can find in US national parks.
Our national parks are home to some of the most
stunning species on the planet and are incredibly important reserves
(00:28):
that protect the biological jewels of America. From adorable little
cat like critters that look like they came straight out
of a Miyazaki film to the goat of Horns who
as spiky little guy with biological weaponry. These are just
three examples of the amazing animals found in national parks.
Discover this and more as we answer the age old
(00:50):
question when is a cat not a cat? And a
toad not a toad? Joining me today is stand up
comedian writer and runs the Facial Recognition Comedy Show at
the Comedy Shore. Comedy Shore Comedy Store. Pullavigod All and.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Welcome, ohoy mate, We're at the comedy show.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
You're the Comedy Shore. She shells seashells by the air
at the Comedy Shore.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Taking a real hit. We're selling seashells now. You know,
I barely know where a barely sell her.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Yeah, cattlefish, I barely know a fish. This is why
you do stand up and I do sit down, Eddy,
sit down. Pre recorded comedy.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
We love it, We love all of it.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Uh yeah, so just for apropos of absolutely nothing. I
really wanted to talk about the national parks in the
the Gulf of Mexico, I mean the United States. The
it is. They're like one of no joke, one of
(02:09):
my favorite things about America. And you know they're in
danger right now due to funding cuts.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Due to apex predators, the white Man.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
Yes, yes, yeah, venture capitalists are going after our national parks.
They are cutting staff for no apparent reason, just like
n you know, you're all fired, which is very bad.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
I saw such a heartbreaking post from a dad who
was like, what do I tell my wife as she's
crying and I don't have a job, And he like
the way he wrote his whole post about it was
really beautiful. He was like, yeah, yeah, it's heartbreaking.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
And I yeah, I have a special place in my
heart for park rangers. This really stings, it really sucks.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
They's also like a key part of Indian culture. You
will not ever go to a national park and not
see an auntie in a sari with sneakers on. It
is very important to our culture to visit national parks,
national monuments, to be tourists in all of these areas,
just at the gas station nearby, heating up some food
(03:25):
that we packed ourselves, and like experiencing being American. Like
that is that's what we think America is. We all
buy a grill that we never use and we visit
national parks.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
I just don't think you're wrong. Who doesn't like who
doesn't like national parks? This is the thing that gets
me is I feel like everyone likes national parks. Like
everyone wants to go to the Grand Canyon, everyone wants
to go to Zion, to the Sequoias. It's everyone has
like experience enjoying national parks. They are so in credible
(04:00):
and amazing. And even if people are I know, like
probably all my listeners care about them also because of
conservation and animals. But even if you're just purely selfish,
it's just they're amazing to go to and look at.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Yeah, this is like cartoon villain. Yeah, let's find like
the things that people love the most you know, national
parks flying right side up and let's take it away
from them.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Yeah. By the way, if any of you out there
are happen to know or are park rangers, either current
or former, and you would like to talk about stuff
on the podcast, send me an email at Creature Feature
Pod at gmail dot com. I would love to talk
to you. Or if you're if you're shy, like some
of the animals we're about to talk about, you can
(04:50):
write to me and I will share your stories for sure,
because I feel like this is super important. So yeah,
let's let's talk about some of the amazing animal that
I feel like a lot of these just are not
some of them are not super well known, right, Like
everyone loves a good moose, a good bear that you
see at these national parks. But these guys are much
(05:13):
more elusive or maybe less glamorous. They get there less
in the spotlight. But they're really amazing. They're so cool.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
So the first one actors that like you see in everything,
but you don't know their name, right, like those guys
like that one guy the Radar exactly there is in Ghost,
the Animal World.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
He was in Ghost and he was in another movie
that guy. You know, yeah, that guy. I know what
you're talking that guy, that guy. Well, so this one
is amazing. So this is the ringtail cat and this
is found in Zion National Park. They're also found in Oregon, California, Nevada, Colorado, Texas, Arizona,
(05:53):
New Mexico, Oklahoma, Kansas, Baja California, and Mexico and dry
arid regions and Paulavia, I sent you, I sent you
a image of one of these little little guys.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
I got it. Also side note, my dog is partly
crazy right now because the people just walk past the
window and he sensed it in his crate. So he
has a natural enemy of my apartment building and it's
other dogs. But these do these creatures, do these beautiful
cats have a natural enemy other than the president?
Speaker 1 (06:29):
They they do. They actually can be preyed upon by
mountain lions, by by large birds of prey raptors. So
they are pretty. They can be pretty solitary and elusive
and shy. But they are actually even though they're called
ringtail cats, and they kind of look like a cat,
(06:51):
they look like a mix between like a cat and
maybe a mouse or a ferret with a long, fluffy
black and white striped tail.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
They're really beautiful.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
They're so gorgeous.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
They're gorgeous, and they look really sweet.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
They actually have a pretty nice disposition. Apparently they look
a little bit like, you know, the like in the
Avatar the Last Airbender cartoon, the Little guy Momo kind
of looks like that.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Actually, I still need to watch Avatar.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Wow, its like on my list of like five no spoilers. Okay,
that's on you if you speak for me. Okay, I'm
still it only came out decades ago, but I'm I'm
literally That's one of the things where I have this
thing where I'm like, Okay, I feel like I lost
parts of big American pop culture just because of my
(07:44):
family or like what I experienced or whatever. So I
have like a list of like things that I go
that I'm like, Okay, I need this to relate to
other people. And now that I'm thinking that, it might
be neurodivergence, but I don't I don't know.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
If I have that, but yeah, I'm gonna use I'm
going to use neurodivergence next time someone calls me out
on not knowing the lyrics to a song. I'm just
gonna be like, I'm neurodivergent.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
I gotta I don't think. I don't think that's it.
I think it's like the fact that I'm like I
need to like write down things to relate to people
or to understand pop culture moments, like I need to
consume this as as research on the human subject, like
I do.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
I am. I am going to use it as an excuse.
So I already use it as an excuse for parking
bad because I did read a study about people with
OCD not having as good spatial awareness. I do have OCD,
and so it's sorry.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
I mean, it's not cool, but it's like to learn
about you.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
It's very cool now. It wasn't cool when it was untreated,
but now it's it's a it's doing good. It gives
me a good excuse to like run into polls. But so,
the the ringtail cat, the cat back to the cat
actually not a cat, which you know, I could make
(09:04):
a joke about that driving my OCD crazy, but that's
not how it works. So the ringtail cats are not cats.
They're actually related to raccoons. Kuwaitis kinkajews and they're in
the Procyoniday family. So yeah, they're related to raccoons, not
not felines.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
They look like a little raccoon ish liketit. The hands,
you gotta get the little hands like yeah, those rifle
through trash, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
They do have very agile little hands. They they're actually
their ankles can rotate one hundred and eighty degrees. What
they can clime trees, they.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
Can be They're like exorcist hands.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
They're kind of exorcist hands. Yeah, so technically the exorcist
doesn't isn't that three hundred and sixty degrees because.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
It's all one hundred and eighty So it's not Although
they could I.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Think that means that they could open doors. So don't
get on you know, don't get on their bad.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
Side, you know, honestly, it's our fault for inventing doors.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Well, it is our fault for inventing doors. I would
want there to be a B and E with one
of these little guys, one of these green tail cats,
because they're super cute, steal all my stuff. They actually
they have a little imask going on, but instead of
it being a black I mask like with raccoons, it's
a white ie mask and it's kind of converted.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
The striping looks like raccoons. It does all making so
much sense.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
Yes, they're extremely cute. They weigh only around one to
three pounds, that's only up to one and a half kilograms.
Their tails are as long as their bodies, if not longer,
so about a foot long or a little longer.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
I know your audience is like, not the people I'm
talking about, and I know this is to like educate
people so that they value national parks. But I'm like
part of me with how cute these guys are, and
you're saying like they're more docile than other animals, I'm like,
we need to gate keep these because people are just
gonna go and mess with them, do you know what
I mean. I'm like, fortunately said those things. I was like,
(11:04):
let's protect them.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
Yeah. Fortunately they're very shy and elusive, so they they're
actually relatively understudied because they managed to be very solitary.
But in terms of in terms of like people trying
to turn them into pets, I don't think they're a
big part of the pet trade right now. They might
be a bit. I think they can sometimes be victims
(11:27):
of the pet trade, which is not good. But they
were like, there was an interesting situation which was like
for miners like gold miners and other types of or
or minors not under eighteen, not a minor, no, no, exactly.
Not people who cannot order or drink at a bar legally,
(11:47):
but people who go in these can't.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
No, I'm kidding.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
These probably would love to drink some alcohol. They are omnivorous,
so they will eat or drink about anything they can
get their little pause on. But miners, gold miners, other
ore miners. I don't really know mining history in the
US except for gold mining because I lived in California
and our school system was like you're learning about gold.
(12:12):
But yeah, they would actually kind of quasi tame them,
so they would keep them near their camps and feed
them little pieces of food, and then they would hang
out in these mining camps and then like kill the
mice and the rats and eat them, and so they
kind of kept them like housecats. But the key thing
(12:33):
there was that because these were mining camps out in
the wild, right, they basically were allowed to roam around that.
It's not so much that they kept them in cages
or anything like that.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
So they would just have like little hats with flashlights
on them. Yes, okay, I'm so little.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
Overalls where one of the straps is kind of falling
off their shoulder and the little little you know, a
little bit. It's very cute. It's extremely cute. There. Arboreal
meaning they spend most of their time in trees. Uh,
and they are very adept climbers. Like I mentioned before,
they can climb trees really well. They can also climb
(13:16):
vertical rock walls, and they know how to climb up
a cactus without getting stuck with the thors. And they'll
happily eat prickly pear fruits.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
So they are amazing.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Yeah, they're they're very they're very efficient in these like
are desert regions. If you're wondering what they sound like,
what's the matter?
Speaker 2 (13:42):
Under distress?
Speaker 1 (13:44):
He's he's fine. He's like on a roof someone's roof
and the person's like looking up at him and he's
kind of barking.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
So you know, he's the one who's like, where you're going, buddy,
that's the that's.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
The retail cago Like, where are you going? Buddy? Hey?
Hey are you going?
Speaker 2 (14:00):
I got just some gold again.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
So yeah, because of what I told you about them
having been sort of tamed by miners. They're also called
miners cats, and again, I'm really cute. I must emphasize
they are not cats, but yeah, they apparently had a
somewhat tamable disposition when they were bribed. But again, they
wouldn't make good pets in a domestic environment because they
(14:24):
need a lot of space. They're not super social animals either, Like,
they don't hang out with each other all that often.
They mostly hang out, uh, to groom each other or
to mate.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
I feel I was until you said that last part.
I was like, I feel like in another life, I
would have been one of these guys. And then you
were like they each other and mate. I'm like, I'm
not cleaning somebody else. I'm all alone most of the time.
And then I just go clean somebody else. No, thank you.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
I mean, yeah, I guess I'm I kind of like
that idea, just like hanging out eating, eating random stuff
and then getting your hair brushed by buddy.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
It's like going to the salon for your Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
I I'm one of I'm one of those freaks who
enjoys going to get my haircut because of the because
of the shampooing. Oh yeah. Yeah, I'm one of.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
Those sometimes you need somebody else to do it.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
I mean, it's it, it is. It's like, it's obviously
I can shampoo my own hair.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
But whoa, whoa, whoa.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
But stand when I have to get my hair cut
and they're like shampooing it. I'm like, you know, I
didn't realize how much better other people are at shampooing hair.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
The angles, it's the angles, and then they use more
of their arm strength, right, you know, it's like a massage.
It's weird.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
It's like they're ripping off parts of my scalp, but
in a good way and I like it.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
So anyways, uh yeah, so they're uh, there have been.
Because they're so secretive. It's a little bit hard to
know too much about them because they they are elusive.
But there have been some more recent studies that aim
to learn more about them, including a collaboration between Oregon
(16:21):
State University, the hoop Up Valley Tribe, Penn State, and
cow Poly Humboldt. And some of the newer information that
they have about them is how they carefully select tree
hollows from older trees to take naps in uh to
stay safe from bad weather. And to occasionally groom each other.
They're cute. Yeah, it's very cute. They also sometimes make
(16:44):
their homes and abandoned mine shafts, which is it's like
they're not they're not acts, they're not beating the little
the cobald hobgoblin allegations. Oh my god. So yeah, because
because they're so dependent on trees, loss of habitats such
as old growth oak woodlands would threaten their population. Apparently,
(17:08):
this past year in Arizona, ringtails have been rescued at
higher rates due to suburban sprawl and hot weather. Because
they like nooks and crannies and trees, they'll sometimes try
to find the same resources in human structures, so they'll
get stuck in our attics, our walls, plumbing, our cars.
There's this article at kj's ez Phoenix with a photo
(17:32):
of the saddest little ringtail I've ever seen. He's damp
from being bathed a bunch of times because he got
stuck in a tortilla factory's oil transfer to No. Yeah,
he's just try and get some tortillas. He gots stuck.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
He's so cute.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
He's so cute. Apparently it was pretty touch and go
with him. He did survive, but they're like, yeah he has.
He was covered in tortilla grease and poor.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Okay you you and me too, brother, Okay. Some days
it's just like that, all right, and just.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
You know, yeah, I mean it's it's very cute and
it's a very sad, funny little story and it's it's
it's good because it had a good ending because he
did get rescued, but it is it does emphasize the
importance that they keep their habitat because they just they
they they like go on a tube, right, thinking it's
gonna be a tree, and then it's full of tortilla grease, delicious,
(18:33):
deadly tortilla grease.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
I worry, but I want your perspective. But I worry
about this so much. Like I've been seeing coyote coyotes
or yeah, coyotes in my neighborhood more, and I feel
like they're that urban sprawl thing where we're just like
impeding on their environment, is like really messing them up,
like and that's for sure for our pets. Like no,
(18:55):
I'm so worried about it.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
It's it's very concerning, yeah, for sure. Like one of
the like coyotes are much more likely to go after
your pets, your little dogs or cats when they are
when they're when they don't have enough sort of ample
resources in their own habitat, enough rabbits and other rodents
to feed on, and then they'll come in and then
(19:18):
people like really hate them. But they're just you know,
they're just trying to they're just trying to live. They
don't they don't.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
Make it in the city like the rest of us Acholizin,
you know.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
They don't. I know that all one eating a beloved pet.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
I saw one go after a cat. It didn't get it,
but I was like, we gotta get these cats off
the streets. And these coyotes, yeah, after their environment, Like
what is going on?
Speaker 1 (19:40):
If coyotes live around you or birds, it's probably a
good idea to keep the kitties inside. I'm gonna say, hot, Yeah,
kitties they will be you can entertain them with attention.
They they will survive.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
Also, like the you know how we're always like, oh,
humans weren't meant to see the Internet, Like our brains
aren't meant for this. I don't think the things that
we've done to animals, like the animals' brains aren't meant
to meet each other, you know, like like some of
these creatures are not meant to interact ever, and they do,
and they're like, do I eat this?
Speaker 1 (20:17):
What is this? You know? Yeah? Crazy? No, absolutely, And
I mean obviously it also increases chance of zoonotic diseases
jumping from species to species. Yet it's very it's incredibly
important to maintain and preserve the habitats of these animals both.
I mean there's a lot of reasons. Number one, they
are devastatingly cute. Look this little guy and the eyes all.
(20:42):
I'll provide the pictures in the show, the little one
that got stuck in the tortilla factory grease trap, Like
he's so sad.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
And makes his eyes look bigger. Yeah, boots picture where
like they z into the eyes.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
Sorry this out. Send it to your congress person and say, really,
we're getting rid of National Park staff when these little
guys are getting stuck in tortilla factories.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
But it's the congress people will immediately try to make
them pets. I'm just like so cynical.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
I thought you were gonna say, like Corrolla de Ville
style like that.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
Too is going to walk around with these fringing boots
on with these tails just.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Like just like a oh god, yeah, you know, well
they're ghoules, but hey, there are still good people out
there rescuing these these little ringtail cats from tortilla factories.
So we're going to take a quick break and when
we get back, we're going to talk about another fantastic
(21:52):
animal that you can find in the national parks. So
pull a b We're talking about big horn and thin
horn sheep. Uh. These are one of the bigger animals
that you can find in North American national parks, and
they are pretty incredible. So there are two species of
(22:14):
mountain sheep, the big horn sheep and then the thin
horn or doll sheep, and they're both really beautiful animals.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
So majestic.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
They are so majestic that they're they're like very iconic.
The big horn sheep have the males have these incredible,
like what do you think horns on their heads that
are massive and heavy. So, uh, first I'll talk a
little bit about the doll sheep. They are found in
(22:45):
the Dnali National Park in the US. They're also found
in Canada and Nali.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
Yeah, keeping the name.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
You know what, I have a very selfishly sentimental connection
to the name Danali, which is this is this is
super like when I was a little kid, there was
an ice cream called Denali. I was like, why is
it called Denali? Because it was super good? And then
I like looked up it was like, oh, it's like
(23:11):
named after these beautiful mountains, and it was just like
and then so I would like imagine that I was
like in the mountains eating this ice cream. So it's like,
you know, you will pry that name out of my
cold dead hands. Also because it's you know, it's grotesque
to try to rename it, uh, because that's that's the
(23:32):
original name.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
And from I know, you're not gonna eat McKinley ice cream. Ew,
that's not disgusting. It tastes like cardboard.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Okay, it's like it's just got like little shriveled cherries
in it and nonsense and whole peanuts with the shells on.
It's discussed. Oh my god, Yeah, McKinley ice cream ice cream? No, yeah, no,
So it's not in National Park. They're also found in Canada, Alaska,
and they tend to be in the sort of more
old regions, although big horn sheep also can survive in
(24:04):
the cold, and they can have their coat can change
from being very thin to being fluffy depending on seasonal changes.
Big horn sheep are found in a variety of national parks,
such as Yellowstone in Wyoming, Montana, and Idaho. They're found
in Zion National Park in Utah. They're found in the
(24:24):
Oehe Canyonlands in Idaho and Oregon, in Hell's Canyon in Washington,
Oregon and Idaho, in the bad Lands National Park in
South Dakota, in the Desert National Wildlife Refuge in Nevada,
which was specifically created to protect big horn sheep, and
they're also found in Mueller Ranch in Colorado. You can
(24:46):
even find a desert big horn sheep in the Sierras
in California. These are just super They're iconic for America.
They're found everywhere in these national park.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
I one thousand percent get why people would worship like
a like a goat looking god, you know what I mean.
They're so impressive, they're so majestic.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
They look like they have seen the universe, you know
what I mean. Then those weird little eyes of theirs.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
And then it looks like their horns like have their
like their intelligence stored in them.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
You know, yes, they do have a little bit of
the It almost kind of looks like the Twilight's from
Star Wars, you know what I mean. I think that's
what they're named, the ones with things that Ye Anyway.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
That's probably where they got it from with these guys,
because they were everywhere.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
I think the bighorn sheep might be getting sued by
Disney pretty soon here.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
Uh, probably we've got to protect bighorn sheep from little
litigationious Disney.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
So bighorn sheep are related to sheep and goats and
thank god, yeah this is I tossed in two animals
or who have deceptive names, but this one, fortunately the
name does fit. So a male's horns are roughly ten
percent of their body weight, okay, and they weigh over
(26:12):
three hundred pounds or about that's the whole sheet. Not
that the horns aren't three hundred pounds yeah, yeah, that
would be incredible shit. But apparently their horns weigh as
much as all their other bones combined, like their entire skeleton.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
That is crazy.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
So it's like imagine like wearing a whole other your
skeleton on your head.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
This feels like a kim Kardashian level of uncomfortable outfit
at the met gala. You know what I mean. Yeah,
Like these guys are really putting everything into their horns.
They don't care how uncomfortable it is to carry them.
They're all about it.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
I do actually like wearing a head piece that's an
entire human skeleton would be kind of dope, like, especially if.
Speaker 2 (26:56):
That would actually be more Lady Gaga I think, right anybody.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
Especially if it's like modeled after your own skeleton. That's
like a real like fierce memento moriy, like really owning it,
like look what's inside, This is what's inside me, and
I'm wearing it on my head. Anyways, youse also have horns,
so use our female big horn sheep.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
But they're sure that you were just getting into like
an accent. Like youse also have hornsuse.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
Guys, I'm just a mobster from Chicago. Uh No, they
also have horns, but they're they're smaller and thinner. The
reason males have the giant horns sexus. It's sexism for sure.
It's literally sexual selection. The females are attracted to the
big horns, and also they use them in contests with
(27:45):
other males to fight for the right to mate, so
they'll like, you know, bonk each other with the horns.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
Or just human males should also hit each other in
the head.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
Yeah, you know what, like just run out each other
and just massive head bonk uh and and we'll like
flutter our little fans and like judge you uh I
like that idea. So uh yeah, they're very They're adept climbers.
They can scale relatively sheer cliff faces, allowing them to
(28:17):
escape predator. They're very agile for being such big animals
and so top heavy. They are surprisingly very very adept,
very graystile climbers.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
Are these like the ones that you see at like
the Hoover Dam, just like scaling like the side of
the or those like goats.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
Those might be mountain goats, but let me check Hoover Dam.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
I don't know if it's like the Hoover you know
what I mean, like they.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
Close a mountains, those are those are goat? I believe
those are mountain goats or let me dam Hoover Yeah,
I know, I like them. Uh, but yeah, mountain goats
at the Hoover Dam. That's that might be what those are,
but there might be but yeah, bighorn sheep are near
(29:08):
the Hoover Dam. You might see them near there. They
might scale it a little bit, but the ones that
can really like get up a dam like get Like.
Mountain goats are actually really cool. They're related to big
horn sheep. But mountain goats are not just good climbers.
They seem to defy gravity. They can hook onto nearly
(29:30):
completely vertical sheer cliff faces, and their little hooves just
like fit right on there, and it is it is incredible.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
I think the impressive part is that they aren't scared,
because I would be like, I would be the mountain
goat that's like shaking up there. I'd be like, oh,
you guys, But all of them are just like munching
on food.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
It helps to have a small brain. I think, like
when you have a brain that's big enough to contemplate
sort of physics, like you start to get worried. But
then when you're when you have mountain goat brain and
you're like, I see grass up there, do do do?
Do do do, and then you just don't think about
sort of the wid like it's like the wily kayote thing,
like yeah, wiley coyote where It's like, if you don't
(30:13):
look down and you don't realize you're supposed to fall,
physics just bends to your stupid will. So that's that,
I know. That's I always whenever I saw the wily
coyote thing, it's like, well, if he just like keeps
thinking he won't fall, then he won't fall.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
So, oh my god, that's such a wonderful moral that
coyote taught children.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
Right, I used to. I tried the wily coyote thing.
I thought if I like jumped off of like uh
the like stairsteps and but didn't look down, maybe I
would have her in mid air. But it didn't work.
I try to find gravity, Oh boy. I also tried
to hold an umbrella up and see if that would
(30:57):
help me slow down, but it didn't do.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
You know what, the most cartoonish thing I ever did.
I was born in Texas and we.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
Had already pretty cartoonish but go.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
Pretty cartoonish, I know, but we had these like big
fields up front, like I have just like the weirdest memory.
I was literally like two probably, so it's like probably
one of my first memories. And like me and my
brother and the neighbor kids we would take like like
flat cardboard boxes and hold them up above our heads
to get make the wind pick us up yep, and
(31:27):
like I would. I was the one who would fly
the farthest because I was the smallest one. I was
like literally too, I was like, that is That's the
most cartoonish shit I've ever done.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
That's amazing. I would give anything to see a two
year old just getting launched into the air by cardboard.
I know that sounds you got some sick air, and
that sounds amazing. So yeah, bighorn sheep teach us a
lot about the importance of conservation. They almost died out
completely in the nineteen hundreds due to over hunting and disease.
(32:00):
Their populations dwindled to just like around one thousand, but
they made a miraculous comeback did to the national park
system and conservation efforts, and now big horn sheep populations
are used as signals for the overall health of the environment.
They're highly responses. They're highly responsive to environmental changes such
(32:23):
as like say, if you have too much fire suppression,
say in a national park, not enough wildfires, they actually
get preyed upon more because you have more bushy scrub
that predators like bears, wolves or mountain lions can use
as coverage to ambush the bighorn sheep. So it's really interesting.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
I also use bushy scrub as coverage. Okay, whoa, whoa,
whoa cooglar over here?
Speaker 1 (32:56):
Meow? All right? Well side uh the yes angela Mrkin
the former German chancellor uh merkele uh uh so yeah,
so it shows how the there's a delicate balance, right, Like,
(33:19):
so sometimes we use fire suppression tactics, right because hey,
you don't want stuff to be on fire, But then
when you do it too much, then you have overgrowth
of scrub, and then that affects the population of these
bighorn sheep because predators have more spots to hideen. Conversely,
if you have too much fire, then predators don't have
enough spots to hiden, and then the predators suffer. Right,
(33:41):
It's not all about like thwarting the predators. The predator's
populations are super important as well.
Speaker 2 (33:47):
I mean, I don't want no scrubs because a scrub
is a guy, get no love for me. So I
feel like those are predators, you know.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
Yeah, there you go, there you go. So uh yeah,
I mean it is. It's really important. Also, the thin
horn sheep that I mentioned earlier also an indicator species
because they live in colder climates, like in high altitudes.
Climate change affects colder climates pretty significantly because you suddenly
(34:19):
get these big shifts and vegetation. So the behavior and
population changes in thin horn sheep are indicators of overall
environmental health. So they're called an indicator species. Really important
to track them, and in order to track them you
need staff at national parks. So yeah, I think it's
(34:41):
just like in the same way that I'm going to do.
I promise you this is a metaphor that makes sense
in the same way that like we have to I'm
here for now. Now I don't write opinion columns for
The New York Times. My metaphors make sense. But the
way in which like our environment works, right, Like if
(35:04):
you pull out a species or or affect a population
and then it has this Janga tower effect of like
affecting everything in that chain. Like it's a similar situation
with the way that like, okay, if you just fire
a bunch of park rangers, you know, without thought, without
any I mean, you should never just fire a bunch
(35:25):
of park rangers because they're awesome, but also like all
the things that they do, all the all the important
functions that they do to like keep uh, the national
parks functioning. It's we're probably not gonna like immediately see
the impacts, but we're gonna see them, and they will
not be good in the same way that say, like
(35:45):
if you if there's too much wildfire or too little wildfire,
you'll see these like fluctuations or population crashes happening in
these these magnificent animals. So you know, that's that's my metaphor.
The the ecosystem of animals is similar to the ecosystem
of federal workers, and I am very concerned about it.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
It's also a thing where like you don't see the
effects right away, so then people will blame like if
there is an next administration, a next administration, rather than
like realizing that cause and effect takes it like a minute.
You know.
Speaker 1 (36:21):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's it's it really frustrates me. It's
it's very infuriating. But yeah, uh, you know, maybe we
should take the a key a que a clue. Maybe
we should take advice from the big horn sheep and
just grow massive horns. On our head and start headbutting everyone.
(36:45):
We're going to take a quick break, and when we
get back, we're going to talk about a little critter
who has a bioweapon. All right, So, uh, I don't
want to cause the United States to try to do
an invasion of national parks. However, it is true that
(37:06):
there is an animal that does have a bioweapon.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
It's me, Twist, it's me quick, tell the FBI ah
on my phone.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
Yeah, oh he's been fired. So you know the horn
lizard also known as the horny toad, which is a
pretty bad name. Yeah, they're not toads, so they're not.
Speaker 2 (37:33):
The whole time, I thought they were two different First
I thought they were two different things. No, and then
so they named Okay, is it scientists naming these things
because we have to do better? To do better?
Speaker 1 (37:45):
I mean, I think scientists named them horned lizard to
clarify it. But they used to be called horny toads
because people didn't know the difference.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
Okay, Well, I think we need to take the ornithologists
that study birds. We need to take the people, and
we need them to start naming the other animals because
today we had so many misnomers and the horny bird
people they like they'll name they'll be like the big
breasted tint, you know what I mean, Like they'll just
make a hornyird.
Speaker 1 (38:15):
Yeah, but it.
Speaker 2 (38:15):
Looks like that, you know what I mean. Like I mean, these.
Speaker 1 (38:19):
Are these are literally horned lizards, so getting some hornybird
people on it would probably be helpful. So horned lizards
are found in Mexico and North America. They are a
genus of lizards with about twenty one species, fifteen of
which are found in the US, and are a common
sight in Well. They're a little elusive, but they can
(38:39):
be found in many national parks, such as Bryce Canyon,
UH and Arizona's Petrified Forest National Park.
Speaker 2 (38:47):
They are so scared. It's so scared of being cut.
Speaker 1 (38:51):
Look at that liard, it's got too many angles.
Speaker 2 (38:54):
Bring our parks back, please.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
So horned lizards are spikey. They range from a grayish
gravel color to a tan color depending on their habitat.
They're really really cool looking. They're very They've got these
wicked looking spikes. They kind of look like tiny dragons,
but they're actually harmless. They don't have any venom. Their
main defense is staying still and hoping nobody notices them,
(39:20):
which is.
Speaker 2 (39:21):
My favorite tack in the green room of a comedy clubs.
Speaker 1 (39:24):
Exactly like whenever I go to a party and it's
like like I know one person there and then they
freaking abandon me. They're like, oh, come to this right
and then I go there and then they're like, oh,
I'm gonna go talk to this person. It's like you
you brought me here. I am like your baby right now,
you abandoned me.
Speaker 2 (39:45):
Parties. Parties are meant to like bring someone to talk
to one person.
Speaker 1 (39:50):
Yes, that was my understanding. This is why I agreed
to come. I was gonna be I was basically going
to be like a little puppy and follow you around
and have you introduced me to people.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
This is why every party should have one dog. Okay,
so that for people like us who just want to
talk to the dog.
Speaker 1 (40:08):
Yeah, yeah, oh is this your dog, I'm gonna I'm
gonna form a connection with them because uh yeah. That
My problem is not that I I'm actually I quite
like people and I like meeting people. It is the
thing of like when two people are talking, is when
do I When do I approach and do I stand there,
and when do I start laughing at what they're saying.
(40:31):
I don't know if no one's ever taught me that.
Speaker 2 (40:33):
Do you remember how we talked about neurodivergence earlier in I.
Speaker 1 (40:36):
Don't see how this. I'm not sure. I don't I
don't understand what point.
Speaker 2 (40:41):
I also, also, this is a tip. I just started
inserting myself into conversations and being like, hey, I'm just
gonna be in this conversation now and then. Yeah, people
are generally welcoming and if they're not, well, yeah, there's
always roasting them.
Speaker 1 (40:58):
Or you can take a page from the horned lizard's
book and inflate your body to look big and scary
despite only being about the size of an adult human's palm,
so they will, yeah, just like, oh you won't talk
to me, raw, no big ignore.
Speaker 2 (41:15):
Oh my god, I would love to do that, Oh
my god. Yeah amazing.
Speaker 1 (41:19):
Also, if that fails, there are eight species of horned
lizards who will have a special extra technique, and that
is that they squirt blood out of their eye sockets.
Speaker 2 (41:32):
Okay, when you said out of the eyes, I do
squirt blood, but not out of there. So yeah, when
I am disruped.
Speaker 1 (41:40):
It sounds like it's still it still sounds pretty skilled.
But yeah, they will block the blood flow in their
head and then force it through ruptured vessels around their
eyelids at high pressures, allowing them to allowing them to
shoot jets of blood up to five feet or one
and a half meters away.
Speaker 2 (42:00):
I'm gonna say this, This might be a stretch, but
I do think they're a little bit more anti social
than you. Honestly, he knows, just a dad, but I
think they're beating you on this.
Speaker 1 (42:10):
I if I was able to shoot jets of blood
out of my eyes, I might have never been forced
to learn to be more gregarious, because, man, can you
like every awkward social interaction you're just like, well, you know,
it's like an Irish goodbye, but a lot more cleaning involved.
Speaker 2 (42:33):
I like the idea of like, oh my god, Katie
just spewed again.
Speaker 1 (42:37):
Not again.
Speaker 2 (42:38):
Kay, You're like, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it.
Speaker 1 (42:41):
Yeah. It's a way to startle predators, and it has
a nasty taste and smell that certain predators don't like.
They these this is the.
Speaker 2 (42:51):
Freak predators that like it.
Speaker 1 (42:53):
Birds apparently don't care. Apparently, like wrap will they do?
Birds are?
Speaker 2 (42:59):
They're us like the scientists that name them there freaks.
Speaker 1 (43:03):
They're a little freaks. They they don't really care. They
they don't have a good sense of smell. So when
the if they try to get spray a predatory bird
with this business, they're just like, oh season like sauce. Yeah,
sauce scha nice? Uh So yeah, they the horned lizards
(43:23):
have a diet of harvester ants which are somewhat toxic.
Uh And it's thought that possibly that diet might help
their blood taste worse. So yeah, it's it's like basically
squirting a hot sauce out of your eyes that's made
out of your blood, which you know, that's I think that.
(43:44):
Did you ever have one of those kids in your
class where they were able to like manipulate their the
the tear ducts in their eyes and like squirt water
out of their eye?
Speaker 2 (43:54):
No, I thought you were gonna say, gleeking like with
the saliva thing.
Speaker 1 (43:57):
I've seen that. Yeah, there's a kid. I think I
did both of it, and it was.
Speaker 2 (44:01):
Oh my god, I've never heard of that before.
Speaker 1 (44:03):
It was gross. I didn't like it or the kid
that could like turn their eyelids inside out.
Speaker 2 (44:09):
Oh yeah, there was that kid.
Speaker 1 (44:11):
Oh yeah, a lot of Honestly, we don't talk.
Speaker 2 (44:13):
Enough about body horror in elementary schools.
Speaker 1 (44:16):
Yeah. Yeah, there's a lot of stuff that I made
me not want to go to school, like people squirting
fluids out of their faces, like you know, I feel
like that's not a conducive environment to learn about the
American Civil War. So another aspect of the horned lizards
(44:40):
is that they have scales that are highly not just
the spiked ones, but they have these very tiny scales
that form these micro channels that help wick moisture from
the air and funnel it into their mouth. It's such
a yeah, it's such an ingenious design that scientists are
trying to replicate artificial versions, which could help in a
(45:02):
lot of applications. It could be like anything from like
water collection systems like to breweries. I don't really know
how a brewery would use this, but breweries you probably know,
or reducing condensation in medical devices, so like making it
easier to make beer or medical devices. It a win
(45:24):
wind to help after you drink like a lot of beer,
right right, Like drink a lot of beer and then
you can have an artificial kidney. But yeah, I mean
their ability, these lizards ability to use water in their
bodies is so efficient. They don't have a separate urinary bladder.
They only expel waste in their feces, Like they don't
(45:45):
need to peek because they just use water so good.
Speaker 2 (45:48):
Oh my god, I mean they're squirting it out of
their blood eyes. But like, yeah, that's very efficient.
Speaker 1 (45:54):
Yeah, no, it's absolutely incredible. And again it.
Speaker 2 (45:57):
Would save me at least three hours a day if
I could.
Speaker 1 (46:00):
We can research these guys figure out how not to pee.
I mean again, like this is there. There's a concept
which is that like with animals, because they are the
products of millions of years of evolution, they contain a
lot of information. And I obviously, if you've made it
this far in the podcast, you just love animals, so
(46:22):
you don't need another reason to want to protect them.
Speaker 2 (46:24):
Or it also contains a lot of information, so that's
why they listened.
Speaker 1 (46:29):
That's true, so that they're trying to write down like,
all right, which animals do we gotta gotta exploit? H No,
But it's it's a it is a it's like there's
a library of potential information. Right, So, like, if animals
go extinct and or we lose them, or we aren't
able to, you know, research them because we've laid off
(46:54):
everyone who might be able to research them, we lose
so much information that can very selfishly help humanity, right. Like,
There's a a great example of this is there's this
frog called the gastric brooding frog, and they would keep
their offspring in their gut like in their stomachs, and
somehow their digestive juices would not burn their tadpoles alive.
(47:19):
And then once the little tadpoles grew into froglets, they
could like come out of the adult frog's mouth. But
like the whole the like figuring out.
Speaker 2 (47:31):
I thought that's how we gave birth to Oh well,
I'm gonna I'm gonna have to talk to Polavi after
the show.
Speaker 1 (47:37):
Oh no, but yeah, if we if we hadn't lost
this animal, like, we might have been able to do
more research onto things like ulcers, gastro esophageal reflux disease.
Speaker 2 (47:51):
We lost.
Speaker 1 (47:52):
It's super sad, It's really really sad. And so right now,
horned lizard populations are declined due to suburban sprawl land development,
the pet trade, invasive species of vegetation without they depend
so much on our national parks, and like if we
lose our national parks or if our national parks are
just left to sort of be exploited, I don't know
(48:15):
that the horned lizards would survive that, like honestly, so
it's very concerning to me. And again, like I know
all of you out there just love animals and want
the best for them for their own sake. But it's
also like if you're ever talking about someone who's like,
why would I care about a horned lizard, It's like
there's so much potential interesting research that could be derived
(48:38):
from them, Like semaglutide was derived from kila monsters. So
it's it's just all of these like developments in human
medicine and technology, a lot of it comes from our
understanding of animals, and so just from a selfish perspective
of wanting cool stuff or medical advancements should make people
care about them.
Speaker 2 (48:59):
But you know, souf we name the monsters after using
them for semi gluten.
Speaker 1 (49:04):
Yeah, also for also for anticoagulants, which are.
Speaker 2 (49:09):
Oh yeah, also it's for the no I know you
were listening just the selfish reasons, but for the non
selfish reasons. It's like, why are we freaking up the
world so bad? We're just one creature. Yeah, why do
we have a right to completely destroy other animals?
Speaker 1 (49:27):
It's yeah, no, I mean, I I agree, I think
it's messed up, but it's uh yeah, so i I'm
I'm just I'm I'm just upset about the the uh,
park rangers being laid off because there's some of the
coolest people out there. Honestly, like, park rangers are a
(49:47):
national treasure. Like if you've ever been in a national
park and you're like, oh, like I stepped in poop,
and they're like, actually, that's the poop of like this
rare mountain goat or like this incredible like kuwaiti or
you know, like oh, actually, all right, so now my
day is not ruined by poop. I've been educated and
this is really cool. Uh. And yeah, they've like they
(50:10):
save people's lives when they go on hikes and like,
I have a hydrated.
Speaker 2 (50:14):
Been saved by a part I'm telling me not to
do something really dumb.
Speaker 1 (50:19):
Yeah, they have like like when like they they are
the reasons that people can enjoy this mostly untouched nature
in such an intimate, wonderful way. And so I'm again
if you're if you are a former current park ranger
or no one uh and you'd like to get in
touch with me for to share your story. You can
(50:42):
write to me a Creature feature pod at gmail dot com.
I need their love, to have you on the on
the show, or read your emails, whatever would work best
for you. Guys. I just you know, man, I am
I'm a little pisd. I'm just I want to squirt
blood out of my eyes up to five feet away.
Speaker 2 (51:04):
Yeah, I feel like that's but that's you like base level,
you know.
Speaker 1 (51:07):
Yeah, I'm gonna start out. I'm gonna start out with
blood squirting out of my eyes and then we'll go
from there.
Speaker 2 (51:14):
We'll go from there. We'll see what we need to do.
I do want to say like a positive thing. I
really went through the five stages of grief about this
gastric brooding frog you told me about it. I was like,
this is horrific because I don't like thinking about extinct
animals because it makes me so sad. But Australian scientists
in twenty thirteen, according to Wikipedia, created a living embryo
(51:37):
from non living preserved genetic material. And then people from
the University of Newcastle they've also successfully freezed and thawed
tote to potent amphibian embryonic cells, so they have a
proof of concept for threatening and extinction. Yeah, attempts. But
(51:59):
here's the thing. If we don't have the same people
that are trying to get rid of park rangers are
also trying to get rid of scientific funding, and so
we can't just automatically bring species back to life. All
of I feel like all of the attempts people who
are believe in climate change, people who are trying to
save the animals, people are trying to save people in parks,
Like they're all on like a certain side of the
(52:21):
spectrum of politics, and they all like are working together
and not trying to you know, like you can't just
assume that scientists are going to bring back extinct species
because the same people that are working against park rangers
are working against them.
Speaker 1 (52:38):
So yeah, no, it's it's in you know, like if
you have sort of like these samples, right, Like that's
one of the things that's scary about like a sudden
loss in funding is like where are you storing these
like samples or these embryos and stuff like, well they're
they're they have to be preserved and stored. And so
if you suddenly like pull the plug on some research
(52:59):
like things can just get destroyed.
Speaker 2 (53:01):
To the point where you can, yeah, like where are
we keeping the information?
Speaker 1 (53:05):
Yeah? Absolutely so send a picture of that poor little
uh tortilla sauce covered ringtail cat to your senator today.
So before we go, let's play a little game to
you know, you know, let's end on a positive note,
which is that animals sound fun. We're gonna play a
(53:28):
little game called guests Who's squawk in the Mystery Animal
Sound game. Every week I play mystery animal sound and
you the listener to you, the guests try to guess
who is making that sound. Last week's Mystery animal sound,
the hint was this, don't stick your head in the
sand for this one, all right, you got any guesses, Pulvi,
(53:55):
that sounds kind of like owl y cowy, interesting like booting.
That is that is a really interesting guess. And you
are on the right track because this is a bird,
but this is actually an ostrich.
Speaker 2 (54:13):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (54:14):
Yeah. Congratulations to Aaron Kay and Mary d. For guessing correctly.
This is a male ostrich booming male ostriches.
Speaker 2 (54:23):
Three boom boom like that like that TikTok guy three booms,
I give that five booms. That guy the rizzler, What
is it? I don't know.
Speaker 1 (54:32):
I'm not on TikTok enough to know this, but I.
Speaker 2 (54:35):
Barely I know it from like memes on other social medias.
Speaker 1 (54:40):
But this is a male ostrich booming. Male Ostriches make
this sound to stick out their territorial or to try
to attract the ladies. And don't lie to me. Listening
to this, you're a little bit interested, right like, oh yeah,
that sounds like a hot and sexy ostrich. If the
female is impressed, the male might have a chance to
offer a mating dance where he flutters his beautiful fluffy
(55:02):
feathers around like a burlesque dancer, and if she's impressed,
she will allow him to mate with her. Uh So,
you know ostriches really they.
Speaker 2 (55:14):
Just went to the Liver Living Desert Zoo in Palm
Desert and I got to feed giraffes and it was
like a holistic experience for me. And then we saw
them running. First of all, giraffes run like they're inslaw
motion like the whole time, like it's not slowed down
at all. They just like run like that. And then
also I think they were like it looked like ostriches
from Afar in the same little area as the giraffes,
(55:38):
and it was really cool to see them like be
in the same spot and like interact.
Speaker 1 (55:43):
It was the long next squad. Yeah for long next,
long next.
Speaker 2 (55:48):
Squad, long neck hive.
Speaker 1 (55:49):
Rise up, all right onto this week's mister animal sound.
The hint is this, some people just have a prickly personality.
Speaker 2 (56:01):
Okay, I think I know it from contact closed.
Speaker 1 (56:03):
Yeah, anythink right, You're absolutely correct, but yes, the I
will I will quack out the correct answer, but everyone
will know POLIVI was right.
Speaker 2 (56:16):
Yay.
Speaker 1 (56:17):
You win the satisfaction of knowing that you are one
with mother nature.
Speaker 2 (56:25):
That's huge for me.
Speaker 1 (56:26):
This is crazy.
Speaker 2 (56:27):
I don't think I've ever gotten one of these riders,
which really happy.
Speaker 1 (56:30):
Yes, it's fantastic gifts. Absolutely correct. If you think you
know who's making that sound, you can write to me
at Creature feature pot at gmail dot com. Also, if
you you are or no park rangers and you want
to share your stories. Also get in touch with me
there creature feature pot at gmail dot com. Uh POLIVI
thank you so much for joining me the gate to
(56:51):
joining me today. Where can people find you?
Speaker 2 (56:54):
I'm at Paula Viganalan p A L l A v
I g U n A l A n everywhere except
this time just call it, which is cool.
Speaker 1 (57:01):
Whoa you got in there? I wish I had just
gotten Katie. I won Katie.
Speaker 2 (57:08):
Pretty early, and then I just didn't use it for
a year. But now I'm like, you think it a
lot since it's fun and yeah, I run with my
friends a show at the comedy store called DATS Recognition Comedy.
I'm also like, I really need you guys to follow
me on social media and like come to my shows
because I am unemployed, okay, like many park rangers right now,
(57:30):
and I am trying to tour and so I'm going
to like Portland, I'm gonna go to SS I'm going
to text it like I'm trying to tour. I have
two dogs. Okay, dog sitting is expensive. You guys are
animal lovers, Please sponsor my dogs. Okay, so come to shows,
pay me money, help me do this profession.
Speaker 1 (57:49):
Like take the most pathetic photo of your dogs as
you can of them.
Speaker 2 (57:54):
Looking I'm so sad a picture of me wet in
afternoon tortilla.
Speaker 1 (57:59):
A greetin a tortilla factory gets stuck in it.
Speaker 2 (58:03):
I have the grease. I'm constantly around stuck.
Speaker 1 (58:06):
In a grease tube and then get rescued and then
start like be like, come to my comedy show. Otherwise
I have to resort to licking tortilla grease out of
a tube.
Speaker 2 (58:15):
One hundred. That's already me right now, So I'm gonna
post it.
Speaker 1 (58:19):
Guy. If you want to save pull A B from
a fate of being stuck in tortilla factory grease tubes,
go to her shows. Check her out. Hell yeah, thank
you guys so much for listening. If you're enjoying the
show and you leave a rating your review that tangibly
helps me. Thanks to the Space Classics for their super
awesome song x so Lumina. Creature features a production of
(58:40):
iHeart Radio. For more podcasts like the one you just heard,
visit the iHeartRadio app Apple past I'll do that again.
Creature features a production of iHeart Radio for more podcasts
like the one you just heard. Visit the iHeart Radio app,
Apple podcasts, or hey, guess what wherever you listen to
your favorite shows. I can't tell you what to do.
(59:01):
I'm not your mother, but do try not to get
stuck in a tortilla factory grease pipe. It's you will
have to get so many babs, so many babs. All right, guys,
see you next Wednesday,
Creature Feature News
Host
Katie Goldin
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