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January 3, 2022 52 mins

With all the craziness we’ve experienced in our world recently, whether that was because of school shutdowns or rising prices due to inflation, it’s tempting to believe that we’re no longer in the driver’s seat. But our guest today, Kumiko Love, who is also known as the Budget Mom, wants you to know that you have more control over your life than you realize. Her new book “My Money My Way” comes out next month, where she helps readers identify a uniquely personal plan that you’ll stick with, which will allow you to crush your money goals. For Kumiko, one of those milestones she achieved was paying off over $77,000 of debt in just 8 months early on in her financial journey and she also recently purchased her dream home with cash! During this episode she shares how you can take the experience and principles she learned, in order for you to take back control of your financial life.


During this episode we enjoyed a Double Dry Hopped Stillings Street by Trillium Brewing - a big thanks to Ali for donating this delicious craft beer to the podcast! And please help us to spread the word by letting friends and family know about How to Money! Hit the share button, subscribe if you’re not already a regular listener, and give us a quick review in Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Help us to change the conversation around personal finance and get more people doing smart things with their money!


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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to How the Money. I'm Joel and I and
that and today we're talking taking back control of your
financial life with Kumiko Love. So we've had another crazy year,

(00:29):
one where many folks believed that everything was out of
their control. Right, whether that was because of school shutdowns
or rising prices due to inflation. It can be tempting
to start thinking like, what was me like taking that
kind of mentality. But our guest today, Kimiko Love, who
is also known as the Budget Mom, wants you to
know that you have more control over your life than
you realize, and her new book, My Money, My Way

(00:52):
comes out next month, where Kimiko helps readers to just
identify a uniquely personal plan that you'll stick with which
will allow you to crush your money goals. For Kimiko,
one of those goals that she achieved was paying off
over seventy seven thousand dollars in debt in just eight
months early on in her financial journey, and she also
recently bought her dream home with cash, which is an

(01:13):
amazing accomplishment. We're gonna hear how you can take the
experience and the principles that Kimiko learned in order for
you to take back control of your financial life. Kimiko,
thank you for joining us today on the show. Thank
you so much for having me. I'm excited to be here.
We are excited to have you. It's gonna be a
lot of fun, Kimiko. And Yeah, you've been doing a
lot of great work in the budgeting space for a

(01:35):
lot of years now, and we want to talk a
lot about that, especially uh, some of the stuff you
you've written in your newest book. But before we get
to some of those questions, the first question we ask
anybody who comes on our show is what do you
like to splore? John? Because Matt and I we spend
quite a bit of money on good craft beer. It's
um something that we prioritize in the here and now
while we're saving our money and investing for the future. Like,

(01:56):
what is that for you? Well, really, for me, it's
always been travel. That has always been kind of one
of my priorities in life, and I think if I
go further than that, I really think it's experiences. I
am in the type of person where I struggled a
lot in my financial journey between the balance of taking
care of my future self versus living in the now,

(02:17):
and I think that's a struggle that a lot of
people face. It's that balance of how do I do both?
And early on I decided, you know, experience in quality
time is something you can't put a value on. I
really do believe that we are blessed with the life
we have been given. It's way too short, and so
I needed to find a way to balance those two
things very early on. Yeah, and that just takes I mean,

(02:39):
it takes some time to figure that out, right, because
I think a lot of times, uh, the temptation might
be to swing from one end of the spectrum to
the other, right, and so maybe you're just living life
like normal people, like everyone else out there, and then
you realize, oh no, it's time to be financially responsible
with my you know, with my life, with my money,
and then you swing far to the to the other side,
and it's all about deprivation. And so yeah, that's a
big part of why you have craft beer here on

(03:01):
our show to kind of illustrate the fact that you've
got to find that balance. For you, what it looks
like you have to find ways to incorporate a little
bit of joy into your life. Now if you go on,
if you go full on deprivation, like how long can
you keep that up? You know, not not not too long?
And often times you're gonna yo yo back in the
other direction. Yeah, it's definitely not sustainable. I mean you
A lot of people get really excited about their financial

(03:21):
journeys in the beginning and they go acent hardcore, only
to burn out about three months later. And what happens
is that can actually hurt you more because you end
up actually splurging and doing a lot of them, taking
a lot of actions that you wouldn't normally take if
you weren't feeling that burnout. Um. I think too that
you know, it does take a long time to find

(03:42):
that balance, but I also think that it takes a
lot of hard work. And when I say hard work,
a lot of the time we don't look inside of ourselves.
We don't take the time to really discover who we are.
I mean, if I were to ask you right now
what brings happiness and joy to your lives, and not
only that, what do you want your money to do
for you? A lot of people can't answer that right away.

(04:04):
When you ask somebody a plain question like what makes
you happy? A lot of people have to sit back
and think, well, that's a hard one to answer, and
so it really is a self discovery journey in order
to find that balance. Yeah, I know, of how that's
just so much a part of your book and how
it is that you walk your readers through. And we're
going to talk about you know what we call like

(04:26):
the why behind your Money. We're gonna talk about burnouts
and sustainability later on here on the episode as well.
Can you go, but first we want to kind of
travel back in time a little bit. You talk about
the birth of your son and how that changed everything.
Can you take us back and tell us what you
were going through at that point in time? Yeah, when
my son was born. Um, so my pregnancy was not planned.
It was a complete surprise. And I think anytime you're

(04:48):
in that situation, all these questions go through your head.
How do I afford having a child? What does that
look like? Um? And as a first time mom, and
of course you have all these stressors of I don't
even know what I'm doing, I don't know what to do,
I don't know you know, your your focus on I
want them to have the best values and be the
best person they can be and give them best life.

(05:09):
But at the same time I have to worry about
my finances and putting them through college and all the expenses,
and so it's just very worrying. But when my son
was born, something happened to me that I wasn't expecting.
I realized for the first time that I really didn't
think about a better future. In fact, I didn't really
even think about my future before my son, and didn't
safe for retirement. I wasn't thinking about, you know, my

(05:31):
future self for my next steps. I was kind of
just living in the now in denial. But when my
son was born for the first time, and this is
gonna sound selfish, but it's true, I had to put
someone else's life there there wants their needs above my own.
And I really think that's the definition of true love,
is when you're able to put someone's wants and needs

(05:53):
above your own. And I found a different purpose. My
son gave me the ability to see a different and
better future and that was never given to me before.
And so that's kind of the headspace that I was
in when he was born. But then that started to
create kind of some difficulties in your marriage, right because

(06:13):
you're kind of wrestling with these things and it leads
to you wanting to make changes. And then I guess, um,
that wasn't perceived very well, right, Yeah, you know me
and my ex husband, It's funny because we never thought
about money ever. In fact, we did something way worse.
We never even talked about it. We were completely silent
on the subject. And so when it did come time

(06:35):
for us to start making financial decisions because now we
had a child involved, we realized we were on very
different teams. I wanted to start a bunch of financial
goals and start saving and budgeting, whereas my ex husband
was kind of like, oh, he just wanted to continue
spending the way that we were. No no real ambitions,
no goals, And so that did cause some some turmoil

(06:57):
in the marriage and and as new parents, because don't forget,
as a new parent you're also dealing with a ton
of stuff outside of just finances. I think the burden
and stress of finances kind of just adds an extra
level of frustration inside the marriage conversation. Um, but that's
exactly what happened and where we were. We realize we're
on very different teams. I think a lot of folks

(07:18):
have experienced divorce and their families. It's obviously difficult on
like many levels, but like you talk about experiencing as
as a kid, even when your parents went through pretty
terrible one. Uh. And so I guess I wanted to know,
like if you had any advice, you know, like what,
like what advice do you have for folks whose relationship
has hit a tough spot or you know, who have
just recently maybe separated from their partner. Do you have
a word for those folks? Well as far as partners

(07:41):
who are still married and they're kind of, you know,
waiting through that problem zone. If you maybe you're just
starting to talk about finances or maybe you realize that
you are um going for completely different things. I think
the number one thing to realize is that you are
a team. You're a team your partners, So you're not
competing against each other. It's not I'm right, you're wrong.

(08:03):
It's more of, Okay, we have different views, which is
completely normal. Our relationship with money is going to be
different for everybody. It doesn't mean that they're wrong and
you're right, or vice versa. It just means you have
a completely different outlook and view on money and it's
personal to each person. And I think the more grace
you can give to your partner knowing that is going

(08:24):
to make that conversation a lot easier. You have to
approach it as a as a partnership rather than a competition. UM.
I think a little all of us, a little bit,
you know, have this competitive drive inside of us where
we're right and everyone else everyone else is wrong. Right.
We all kind of battle that I think sometime in
our life. But as far as just getting divorced, I

(08:46):
think one of the things that we have we have
to be aware of is how our emotions during that
time really affect our financial decisions. Um. And so one
of the things that I always tell people is you
have to protect yourself, your legacy, and your assets first
and foremost. You have to do your due diligence in
the research to know how do you protect yourself, especially

(09:07):
as a single mom and a woman, um when you
were going through the divorce process. But secondly, to focus
on not allowing your emotions to control you, but rather
you controlling your emotions through that process. And then let's
let's talk about so you you became a single mom,
Kimiko and you talk about how you had this desire

(09:29):
right to to get your finances in order, but then
your desire to be a good mom is is partially
what led you into debt. You wanted to provide like
this warm and inviting house for yourself and for your
little guy, James, but that led to a spending spree
and then incurring more debt than you planned on. Right. Oh, absolutely,

(09:49):
you know. One of the hardest things that I had
to realize was that I was spending to make myself
feel better, not because I truly was having I guess
having my son as a first priority. And now that
sounds horrible to say out loud, but it's the truth.

(10:10):
I was spending money because I didn't feel like an
adequate mom when I was giving myself. The excuse was
I was I was spending for my son and that
was not the case. And because I had all this
guilt and all this shame around my divorce, I spent
money like nothing had changed. I spent money trying to

(10:33):
give him this life that we had before, when obviously
that wasn't the case, and I was spending to provide
a safe, happy place for my son, which ultimately led
into credit card debt because it started with ordering a
new bed and then it went to ordering a whole
new kitchen. Um. And that led to me, you know,

(10:53):
accepting all these credit card offers in the mail and
telling myself, you know what, I'll just pay this off
in a year. It's going to be fine, um deep down,
knowing that I probably didn't even have enough money with
my next paycheck to even cover the minimum payment. And
my excuse was I'm trying to be a good mom,
I'm trying to do the best for my son, when

(11:13):
reality it was more of I'm trying to make myself
feel better as a mom. Um. So that's ultimately which
led to about over twenty dollars in credit card debt. Och. Yeah,
you know. So, like as you're talking about emotions here,
Comico makes me think about how you say in your
book that your financial health is your emotional health, and
so how is it that you equate the two. Well, really,

(11:35):
if you think about it, emotions drive so many of
our decisions. And I'm not talking just about financial decisions,
but if you think back on it just a regular
day today, you have to ask yourself why you make
the decisions you do, and emotions play a huge role
in that, whether it's guilt shame which leads to impulse

(11:56):
buying and purchases UM. For me, you know, a lot
of emotional spending UM was rooted in the way that
I ultimately felt about myself. And that's really what this book,
My Money, My Way is all about is understanding that
until you can understand your emotions, it's going to be
really hard to control your finances. You have to understand

(12:19):
who you are as an individual, not as a mom,
not as a sister or a friend, as a parent,
but as a person you have. That's the hard work
in this journey is getting to a place and asking
and answering those very very tough questions and then diving
in and doing the deeper work on how to repair it.
And so emotions really is the focus of ultimately getting

(12:44):
to a place where you feel at peace with your money. Yeah,
so you mentioned guilt and shame, and those are I
think two things that that people feel deeply when it
comes to how they view money, how they handle money,
and if they don't do it right, it's like those
those things continue to rear up, rear their ugly heads,

(13:04):
and I think they lead us down the path to
more guilt and more shame. And so yeah, they talk
to us about those feelings a shame, how they're such
a powerful negative force. And then and then how do
you talk or help people think through combating like the
negative forces of specifically, uh, shame and guilt. Yeah, so
really you know, shame and guilt your correct, those are

(13:26):
the two leading factors and especially in my journey, UM,
that can lead us down a big black hole. Really
combating it, um are all the steps that I talk
about in my book. One of them is understanding what
you want from your money. You know, the book is
about finding financially fulfilled life. What does that mean to
be financially fulfilled? I believe that every single person on

(13:49):
this earth can get to that place right now, no
matter where they are financially, what circumstances are, situation they
find themselves in, because it has less to do with
the numbers and money and more about your self and
a financially fulfilled life when it comes to your emotions
and discovering who you are includes three things, and that's confidence, stability,

(14:10):
and clarity. And each one of those things really does
have more to do with who you are and your
emotions than it does anything about the numbers. Well, as
you say, this is what it makes me think about
how you're talking about emotions here, and often, like I
think my instinct is to remove emotions from the the
equation right by sort of deadening myself and saying, all right,
now I need to make decisions like a robot. Uh.

(14:33):
And you actually talk about how like essentially what we
need to do is almost like harness those emotions, because
if we deaden our desires and try to remove emotions
from our our day to day lives, oftentimes I think
that is how we can find ourselves not finding the
motivation to actually follow through with behaving with our money. Yeah. Absolutely,
you know if you sometimes that, you know, I've had

(14:55):
some community members reach out to me. They say they've
gone to a counseling set and with their partner and
they've been told to leave emotions at the door, to
check out emotionally. Here's the problem with that. It's never
ever going to happen. Why, Because we are emotional beings.
And until you recognize that, it's like saying stop breathing.

(15:19):
No matter how much you say, oh, don't be mad,
don't be angry, don't feel shame, don't feel anything. That's
a completely unrealistic thing to do. We are emotional beings.
That's going to happen. And knowing that and the quicker
you know that you need to start controlling and understanding
your emotions and then using that as a tool rather

(15:42):
than as a burden and letting those emotions control you.
Because I'll tell you right now, the moment you can
learn and control your emotions and use them for empowerment
and passion and motivation the things that you want in
your life and how you want to live your life.
That can be literally the most powerful tool that you have.

(16:03):
You don't need to deaden yourself to those emotions, but
you need to, yeah, pursue them and harness them in
the right way. Or you can or you can keep
stuffing them down like I try to do. They all
come spelling out. And yeah, that's why I was with
most people right and then and that's yeah, the binge
and purchycle sometimes of money happens. All right, Kamico. We've
got more questions to get to with you, including we

(16:23):
we want to talk about some of your specific budgeting techniques.
Uh and and yeah, we'll talk more about that right
after this. Alright, we're back from the break talking with
Kimiko Love. She's got her new book outs next month,
My Money, My Way, and Kimico, you know you were.

(16:45):
We were talking about the big questions that you need
to answer before we kind of get to the practical stuff,
and so like finding your why, your purpose, your motivation,
these are all crucial places to start. And I love
how in your book it's the first budget by paychecks step.
Can you talk about, you know, finding those things, finding
your purpose, your motivation. Yeah, so, I think all of

(17:07):
us get to a point. I mean that's why a
lot of people are going to be picking up this book,
that's why you're here now listening to this podcast. We
get to a point in our lives where we finally say,
I don't want to live my life like this anymore.
I don't want this kind of mess in stress with
my finances, and all of a sudden you realize you
want change. That's the first step, but it's not enough.

(17:30):
Understanding your purpose and motivation for wanting a financial change
in your life is the very first step. I think
we all kind of need that push to want something different.
A lot of people say it's hitting rock bottom, whether
that's how you know, having your car repossessed, or for
me like having my son and being a complete mess
with my finances and wanting to provide the best life

(17:50):
for him, whatever that may look like in your life.
But the next step beyond motivation is realizing that motivation
is going to be absent a lot of times in
your journe People ask me all the time, you goo,
how do you stay so motivated every day? Truth is,
I'm not because I'm a human being, and I'm real
I'm not motivated every day, but it's because I've learned

(18:11):
self discipline. Motivation and finding your purpose on this journey
is the first step to self discipline, and it's self
discipline that's going to be in your life on the
days where motivation is gone. And so self discipline is
actually created by taking consistent change in our lives that

(18:31):
creates habits, and these habits towards better financial management of
our money, which is going to lead you to that
self discipline. Whether that's a daily routine like I've established
in my life, whether that's a newfound excitement for your
savings goals and your trackers, um it kind of leads
down to this routine and in this system that you're

(18:54):
excited about rather than being scared or stressed about. Yeah,
in your look you you actually mentioned that that shopping
was kind of a drug of choice for you when
it came to how you handled your money, and you
specifically outlined being at H, H, and M in the
checkoutline at one point. And I think for a lot

(19:15):
of folks who are thinking about getting their money together,
maybe this past holiday season was a thing that they
look back on and they're like, dang it, I overdid it.
Or they're about to open up there yeah, or they're
gonna open up their credit card bill here in just
a week or two and they're going to be shocked
because they don't even realize that they overdid it yet. So, yeah,

(19:36):
can you share that story of that line and then
of that checkoutline, what happened there, and then I'd love
to hear your thoughts on kind of curbing that impulse,
because that is such like an American impulse these days.
It feels like, oh, absolutely, you know, I'll never forget
that moment in my life. It was kind of like
a slap in the face for me. I was actually
on my one, you know, my daily shopping bungeons, trying

(19:57):
to combat all these negative emotions that I was feeling
that day. And I was in the check in line,
probably with you know, I had all these new clothes
from my arm all the way to the top of
my head of all these things I was going to buy,
and knowing deep down and you know, my gut, knowing
that I didn't have the money to pay for these things,
I was just going to swipe my credit card and
deal with it later type of situation. And I'm sitting

(20:18):
there and there was this young lady and her mom
behind me, and her she was asking her mom for
credit card. And at that moment, I looked down at
all these things that I was going to buy, and
I realized that none of it was going to make
me feel better, maybe temporarily, until I got home and realized,
oh my gosh, now I have to pay all this off,

(20:39):
and when you're dealing with interests, ends up costing a
lot more than what you actually pay during checkout, right,
And so that was really my moment of of just
the slap in the face, like, oh my gosh, what
am I doing here? What? What the heck is going on?
And I started asking that why am I in this
checkout line? Okay, that was the first time I asked

(21:02):
the deeper question of why I was spending the way
I was. It's never happened to me before that moment.
And then realizing, wait a minute, something a lot you know,
deeper is going inside here. Something's happening here. Um, so
that's really what that that story was in the book.
Is that big slap in the face moment for me
realizing that I need to ask the deeper questions on

(21:24):
why I spend the money I do, and then realizing it.
For me, it was it was a sad discovery, you know,
realizing that I felt all this game and guilt and shame,
but not only that I was there, because I ultimately
didn't like myself. And that's really hard to stay out
loud and to admit to yourself that when you look

(21:46):
in the mirror, you don't like what's looking back, that
you don't feel comfortable in your own skin, that you
don't accept the way that you look, that you don't
feel like you fit in, that you feel, you know,
not confident as as a as a woman, like you
should be and that was really hard for me to
admit out loud. In fact, I struggled with that for many,
many years of combating those feelings. So I think that

(22:10):
when you're in those situations, you have to recognize it's
not just like, oh, I'm here and I'm spending money
on my credit card. You have to ask yourself the
hard questions and really answer honestly. No one wants to
admit out loud that they don't like who they are,
or they don't like the way they feel in their
own skin, they don't like the way that they look,

(22:30):
that they don't accept themselves. No one wants to say
that out loud. But until you can address it, you're
never going to move past it. And that's really what
that story was about. One of the other things you
talk about in the book Comico is prioritization of different
places where your money needs to go. And I think
for so many people that is such a difficult step, Like,

(22:50):
how do I decipher between wants and needs? Because everything
kind of feels like a need. How do how do
we decipher between Yeah, those the things that are important
and that are any priority and the ones that aren't. Yeah,
it's kind of funny because when we when we have
all these savings goals and we're trying to save our money,
everything kind of feels important, doesn't it. It gets to
a point where like, I want to save for all
these things, and when you're saving for forty different things,

(23:13):
you hardly make progress on any of them. Right. So, really,
this and I think we have to note here that
this is what's very different about My Money My Way.
It's the recognition that every single person that reads this
book is going to have different priorities and different goals.

(23:34):
And I'm going to be the first to say it
is completely okay and a normal A lot of people
when they get to this point, they're like, well, I'm
not saving for what they are and then they start
doubting themselves. We should I be saving for this instead? Right,
we get onto this topic, especially when we're talking about
debt versus retirement versus saving for a living in the now, right,

(23:58):
we start to doubt ourselves. So really it comes down
to that really hard question, what are you trying to
accomplish with your money and what brings joy in value
to your life? And before we get to this section
the book, the book really does help you get to

(24:18):
that place of understanding. But it comes down to prioritization
and the things that are important to you. And notice
how I said you, not anybody else. Doesn't matter what
anyone else says, thinks, or is telling you or their opinion. Okay,
this is your financial journey and this is one that
you are building for yourself. Um. I think that once

(24:39):
you have that prioritization and you can then group them
into time segments, so short term, medium term, and long term.
And in the book, I actually walk you through on
how to accomplish these goals based on importance in your life,
using these time segments and putting them into these categories.
And that's really going to help you decide what do

(25:02):
I say for now versus what do I say for later?
Or want versus need? You know, it's sitting down and
writing all these wants and needs on your paper, maybe
even taking to highlighter colors, highlighting what you feels a
need and what you feel as a want, because everybody's
needs and wants are not the same for everybody. What

(25:24):
you feel is a need in your life may not
be a need in someone else's. And this is what
makes budgeting and finances so completely personal. Yeah, it doesn't
make a lot of sense if you just end up
adopting somebody else's budgets or somebody else's goals, or somebody
else's just long term aspirations that they have and Comico,
you're talking about budgeting here, you know, let's let's talk

(25:45):
about some of the just the practical steps to to
make sure that we are actually following through with the
budgets that we've created. I am a huge proponent of
zero sum budgeting, where every single penny has a name
and making sure I track all of those dollars. But
you know, I think part of the problem can be
creating a realistic budget and not this sort of like
pie in the sky budget. What are your tips for that?

(26:08):
How is it that we just just make sure that
we're being true and honest with ourselves compared to something
that feels a little more aspirational. Yeah. You know, one
of the biggest mistakes I made on my budgeting journey
was not having the confidence in my abilities to budget
in the first place. Maybe I felt like I didn't
know enough. I didn't feel really you know, I didn't

(26:29):
know really know what I was doing, And so what
happened was I was adopting and kind of mirroring other
people's budgets, but not only that, I was allowing people
to define success and value in my life for me.
So I would get online, I'd proNT out all these
budget templates, and I would follow the steps to a t.
But here's the thing with budgeting. Budgeting should be based

(26:52):
on what you are actually spending, not what you want
to spend or what someone else is telling you you
should spend. And so what happens when when you start
copying someone else's budget you start doing what I call
robot work. And the only thing that really makes implementing
a budget in your life a possibility is if you

(27:15):
feel successful when you do it, And it's really hard
to feel successful with your money if you are blindly
following someone else's steps and budgets and don't understand why
you're doing that. Okay, that was my biggest mistake in
the beginning. So the first thing to realize about making
and implementing a budget is that it needs to be

(27:36):
based at your real starting point what you're actually spending,
not what you want to spend. And that can be
really scary for some people because that means you have
to track your spending and actually know where it's going,
what's coming in, and what's going out. And it's so
funny because of the people that follow this step in
my budget by paycheck method, they go, oh, my gosh,

(28:00):
it's kind of like that slap in the face like
my H and M experience. For them, it's like, I
had no idea I was spending a thousand dollars eating out.
But here's the problem. They then go and create their
budgets and they put five dollars for their food budget
even though they're truly spending a thousand dollars. Look, we're
all going to be starting in a place we don't
want to be at. Trust me, when I created my budget,

(28:23):
I was in the red. I was spending more on
things that I knew I shouldn't. But that's okay because
it has to do with recognition. And when you know
a realistic starting place, that's when you can start making
incremental changes to make your budget better and more useful
and more efficient and more effective. And that realistic type

(28:47):
of component that we're talking about is what's going to
lead to doing one of the most hardest things. It
is when comes the budget and creating a budget that's
the easy part. Implementing it and actually sticking to it
in your life is the hardesty. And so that realistic
component is really the first step in the budgeting process. Okay,
so so being realistic, I agree. I think that's that's huge.

(29:08):
And I think if we're creating something that's unrealistic and
we're trying to to pull the reins back too hard
too quick, it's it's gonna lead to us faltering. But
right now, like we're at the beginning of a new year,
there's a lot of energy for a lot of people. Uh,
there's a lot of optimism, a lot of hope about
what they'll be able to accomplish this year. And so
so how do we make budgeting sustainable? I think I

(29:31):
think I saw that maybe you you sit down for
ten or fifteen minutes which you're with your budget every
single morning, Like is that something you recommend or or
how do people avoid uh like having these awesome thoughts
and hopes for their money this year and creating tracking
starting to track their spending and and and and creating
an actual budget that they plan to live by and

(29:51):
not crashing and burning like in February. Yeah. Absolutely, Yeah.
It's like one of those things where you're like, I'm
going to go to the gym every single day year
and and then and then what happens is at the
end of January you walk into the gym and it's
just like a dead zone. There's no one in there
right right, because you get to that point where you're like,
this is not sustainable. So one of the things that

(30:13):
I recommend is that you have to make time for
what's important to you. Correct So if this is important
to you and this is this is a financial change
you want to make, then you have to prioritize that
time in your life period. And one of that that
means is setting up a financial routine in your life. Now,

(30:34):
I've been budgeting and doing this for over eleven years,
and I still every single day sit down for five
to ten minutes and go over my spending in my
budget because what I have found is that gives me
the peace of mind knowing I am making the best
financial decisions today based on what I was able to

(30:57):
review and study during that five even ten minutes. It's
like knowing and being aware of where I am financially
do that is like that right there is absolutely life
changing because it gives you something that we all are chasing,
and that's peace of mind. And there is no dollar

(31:18):
amount in the world to me that really can give
you the peace of mind. There's no there's no value
to it. It's absolutely invaluable. And so having that and
setting up that financial routine and making sure that you're
consistent with it. Remember we're all about building habits, and
with habits, that has to be consistency. So that is

(31:40):
one way building that financial routine in your life. And
that can be any time. It doesn't have to be
in the morning. Like me, Okay, I do that because
I do it in the morning before my son gets up,
and I can do it without distractions. Maybe that's after
you put your kiddo down to bed, or maybe when
you know you have some quiet time with your spouse
or your partner to sit down and do that, whatever
it may be, but they're has to be some type

(32:01):
of routine in your life. Yeah, like what you said
to just how it'll lets you know where you are currently.
Because it makes me think about like imagine if any
of like on our phones, like the maps app, if
it didn't have like the location services where you've got
the little triangle and it puts it like plots you
on the map. If you're constantly just randomly looking at
a map and trying to figure out like generally speaking,
I need to kind of go north, Well, there's only

(32:21):
so far you can you can get with that, Whereas
if you know exactly where you are, then you know
the next step, you know the next turn you need
to take. And I think that's so important when it
comes to your budget and figuring out the next moves
that you're gonna make with your budget. Uh, and can
you go on that note, We're gonna talk here a
little bit more about your sinking funds. We want to
have you explain what those are, and we're gonna hear

(32:41):
some final words of encouragement right after this break. All right,
we're back to the break. You're still talking with Kumiko
Love about budgeting, about taking back control of your financial life.
So much good stuff all ready. And one of the things, Tomiko,

(33:02):
that I read in your book that just kind of
struck me as just beautiful, and I'm also like, I
think this is true, but I'm also like how true
can this be? Is? Is you say that anybody can
make progress on their current income, that more money isn't
always the answer. And Matt, and now we've talked about this,
there's so many people making six figures, still struggling, still

(33:22):
living paycheck to paycheck, saying that they can't make any progress.
And so in so many ways, I agree, But what
is the answer then, Like, if more money isn't the answer,
how how are people who are like, no, no, I
need more money to make this budget work? Um? How
are they supposed to do it? Yeah? So it's so
funny that you brought this up because recently I kind
of addressed this question. Um, I talk about it in

(33:44):
the book, but I also kind of addressed it on
my Instagram. And that is the question that I think
all of us are kind of wondering. Can money by happiness?
Does more money equate to more happiness? And I think
it really does depend on the person you are asking
in their perspective, because you're going to get a lot
different answer asking that of someone who is maybe struggling financially,

(34:07):
who is poor, versus someone who does have their financial
means in their life. And the reason I say that
is because I've been on both ends of the spectrum.
I've been in that place where I was struggling financially,
where I had to make the decision between keeping my
lights on and putting food on the table, versus to
where I am today in a much more privileged financial

(34:29):
spot in my financial journey than I was, say, ten
years ago. So I think it is absolutely possible to
make progress right now without adding a dollar more of
income to your life. Now. Of course, we should all
be striving to earn more money as we go along
on this financial journey. However, though, you're not stuck where

(34:51):
you are today without making another dollar. So really it
comes down to looking at what you have and making
the most useful tool that you can right now where
you are financially. And we go on all these different
steps in the book on how you do that um,
and I think too, it's also recognizing your savings potential.

(35:13):
And what I mean by that, and I know we're
gonna be getting into sinking funds is every single year
we put on these savings challenges for my community members.
We've been doing it the last three years, and you
would be surprised how many people said, oh, my gosh,
I had no idea I could save that much. And
the fun thing about the savings challenges, we don't ask
them to go earn more income. In fact, we don't

(35:35):
even ask them to change their budget. This is simply
finding dollars they didn't know they had and making the
conscious decision to save it rather than spend it. And
so I do absolutely thinks that I think it's possible
to make progress on your financial journey, because remember, progress
is not just about the numbers. We're talking about the

(35:56):
three things of a financially fulfilled life, clarity, stability, and confidence.
If you can reach those three things, you absolutely have
changed the games when it comes to your finances of money,
even if you're not earning any more money. Yeah. Absolutely,
Remember this is internal, right, We're talking about you, not
so much the money that's in your life, because this

(36:17):
this journey of a financial change really does start an
end with you. That's right. Yeah. Money it comes in
and it goes out like it's uh, it's just it's
constantly flowing. It's just about figuring out what is our
perspective going to be of that money that comes into
our lives and the money that that leaves us. And
you alluded to it, so let's talk about like living
life and sinking funds and how that helps us to

(36:40):
achieve the things we're looking for. Can we go? You know,
you say that you shouldn't stop living life just because
you have debts. We totally agree. And so what's your
advice for folks who still have, you know, like the
lingering credit card debt, or they've got student loan debt
and their lives, but they also do want to, you know,
start saving towards some of those future goals. Yeah. You know,
my biggest discovery on this journey is if it's too short,

(37:01):
and unfortunately I've had to lose people in my life
to recognize that, but it also gave me this really
unique approach to the management of my money, and I
am grateful and blessed about that. It's very true just
because you have debt doesn't mean you have to stop living.
Doesn't mean that we put our lives on hold and

(37:22):
hope for something better tomorrow. Because the truth is as
sad and it is to think about, is we could
be gone tomorrow, and this amazing short life that we
have been blessed with, I feel like we have to
use it to the best of our abilities. And live
the best life that we can. And any time we

(37:43):
have debt, obviously there has to be sacrifices and tradeoffs
in our lives. But the beautiful thing about that is
you get to decide what your tradeoffs are. Now, when
I had debt, I still did Christmas presents for my son.
I still went on vacations that I chose to say
four in cash. I didn't stop living my life. I

(38:04):
just took control of the trade offs I was making
and ultimately what was more important to me versus maybe
other some some other things that I was giving up
at the time. So sinking funds was developed in my
life because of actually Christmas. So I was this I
was this mom that would go out, you know, I

(38:26):
was dealing with of course mom guilt and team and
I would go out and blow thousands of dollars on
Christmas for my kiddo and my family. And he tells it, yes,
And here's the thing. The next Christmas that rolled around,
I was still paying off Christmas expenses on my credit
card from the year before. Okay, that's how bad it was.

(38:48):
And I realized, oh my gosh, you know what Christmas
comes every year? I know it's coming. Why am I
not preparing for it? It's an expense every single year
I know is coming. How how come I'm not preparing
for it? So I started saving it a little bit
every single paycheck to prepare financially for Christmas. And you know,

(39:10):
I started doing this about halfway through my financial journey,
and so I you know, I learned to rein in
my desires and my expectations of what a good mom
is supposed to be and what Christmas should be like
for my son. I started, you know, wanting to do
more experiences rather than materialistic things for my son, which
also brought down my Christmas spending. And like I said,

(39:31):
this is a self discovery journey. But sinking funds is
all about preparing financially for a plan or expected expense
or purchase or event in the future. Right, how many
times have we said to ourselves, Oh, I couldn't prepare
for that, or it just popped up in my life
and it wasn't in my budget, so it derailed my budget.
Or these little expenses that keep popping up or ruining

(39:53):
my budget and they're ruining my spending. Wright we've all
said this kind of these kind of things to ourselves.
But here's the thing, are very unpredictable. Lives are more
predictable than we may think. Okay, then that's part of
the budgeting process is when you make your budget realistic,
you realize that budgeting is about way more than just
paying bills. It's a road map to our lives in general. Okay,

(40:18):
we're we're preparing and putting things in our budget that
have to do with our real lives. Doctor's appointments, birthday
parties for our kiddos, nights out with friends, date nights. Right,
all these things are things that we know are going
to happen in our lives. We're just kind of not
looking at them and preparing for them. The way that
we need to be in our budget to be the
most successful with our money and sinking funds is a

(40:41):
very amazing strategy and way of managing our money to
do that. So talk to me about the mechanics of
how how you handle sinking funds, Like, what's a good
way for someone to incorporate it. They're saying, Okay, I
hear what Kimika saying. I need to start planning ahead
for maybe four or five of these things. Maybe even
now I'll start a sinking fund for Christmas at the

(41:02):
end of this year, Like, how, how, how do you
actually like go about starting that? Yeah, so the number
one thing that happens is I mentioned sinking funds and
community member, my community members will run out and by
the time they're done, they have thirty different sinking right,
and they try incorporating saving for all these things in
their budget. But that's really not what it's about. It's
about creating sinking funds for things that are putting us

(41:25):
into debt year after year, over and over, or situations
where we feel pressured to use our credit cards. Now,
when I was in seventy seven thousand dollars worth of debt,
I had one sinking fund, just one, and it was
Christmas because that was a time in my life year
after year where I felt the most pressured to use
my credit card and that I was going into debt,
sever your debt, and so I started there. I started

(41:48):
with one. Remember, this is all about personal prioritization and
importance in your life. Now for you, maybe it may
not be Christmas. Maybe you're thinking to yourself, oh my gosh,
every year I spent a ton of money on my
mom's birthday. Can we go out crazy, you know, vacation
or party and I spend way too much. It might
be something completely different to you, but start with maybe

(42:10):
one or two, especially if you have debt and you
have high interest debt. Start with one or two important
priorities in your life when it comes to planning and
preparing for future planned expenses, and then you can build
from there. I started with one. I now have over twelve.
But my situation is also very different than from where

(42:32):
I started, right, It's a progression. We call this a
financial transformation. It's not a quick change. It's something that
we are transformed as we go along. But we have
to set ourselves up for success in the beginning, not failure.
And one of the ways that we do that is
by making realistic, incremental changes as we go not these

(42:56):
big ginormous changes that we know we're not going to
be able to accomplish, but rather these small steps that
we can do time and time again throughout our financial
journey to ultimately reach the bigger picture that we have
in our minds. I like how and you mentioned this
earlier on as well, but just like that, self discipline,

(43:17):
and it's really hard to maintain that self discipline if
you're making drastic changes as opposed to some of these small,
more sustainable steps like you're mentioning Comico. And one last
thing I wanted to kind of ask you about. You
close your book talking about how like there isn't this
finish line right when it comes to our personal finances.
Can you explain the mindsets that you're talking about there? Yeah,

(43:38):
so you know, for the longest time, for years and years,
I told myself, if I could just pay off my debt,
I will have finally made it right. If I just
paid off my debt, then everything I've ever wanted would
magically happen and appear in my life. And after I
paid off my debt and I was a debt free,

(43:58):
I realized my jur me was far from over. It
didn't end there right now. It was time to focus
on other financial goals. Because here's here's the reality here.
No matter where we are, how old we are, how
young we are, money will always be part of our lives.
It will always be there. It will always be spending it,

(44:18):
getting it, managing it. It will always be part of
our lives. And because of that fact, you'll always want
or need to do more with it. And what I
mean by that, like, after I paid off my debt,
I wanted to save for retirement. Why because I wanted
to spend the time that I have been given on
this earth as much as I possibly could with my son,

(44:41):
and that meant retiring early for me. But then I
also realized, you know, after I paid off my debt,
time frome homeownership, this big ginormous dream that I've had
for years after my divorce was something that I now
felt I could make a reality. There is no finish

(45:02):
line in the fact of we'll always spend it, manage it,
and have it. And because of that fact, we're always
going to be growing within ourselves and with our money
for the rest of our lives. But I think a
lot of people too, when they think about the finish line,
they kind of get discouraged. You're like, Okay, well, then
what the heck is the point of paying off my

(45:23):
debt if I just have to keep dealing with this
money crap for the rest of my life. Right. But
the thing is is you have to start looking at
your money and your finances as a tool, not as
a burden. Budgeting and all of this is not about
how it restricts you. It's about valuing yourself and ultimately,

(45:45):
it's about giving you a tool where your budget has
your back and it works for you. And once we
can get into that mindset of it's no longer a burden,
it's no longer work. Instead, we get excited because has
it allows us to ultimately live the life and reach

(46:05):
the goals that we are wanting. And I think that's
really powerful. Yeah, yeah, I agree, And Kimico, I think
your story is really powerful. I appreciate your philosophy. I
appreciate how intentional you've been in how you talk to
us about your story and and also to how you
shared it in your most in your new book that's

(46:26):
coming out soon. So, so, how can our listeners find
out more about you, what you're up to and about
your book. Yeah? Absolutely, So we're kind of on all
the socials. Um we're at on Instagram and that's kind
of where I share more more of my daily updates.
You can I share all of my real numbers, my
real budget, my real savings, everything on my Instagram at
the budget Mom. You can find really in depth detailed

(46:50):
videos on our YouTube channel, The budget Mom and also
are amazing community. Look, I will say this now, if
you are listening to this podcast, you are not alone.
No one should go through this financial journey feeling that
they do not have accountability or support. So that's why
we created the Budget Mom Family. It's a private Facebook

(47:12):
group made over a hundred thousand people from all around
the world, all with one single goal wanting to find
financial fulfillment in their lives. And they're there to support
you and help you and encourage you with no judgment.
And it's amazing support. So you can find the budget
Mom Family on Facebook. We'll make sure to link to
all of that. Kimiko, and thank you so much for

(47:34):
taking the time to talk with us today. Yeah, thank
you so much for having me. All right, Matt, that
was a great interview to start the year off. Like
I said, Man, I really do appreciate Comico story and
totally her enthusiasm and then just she really has like
created a philosophy and a way of thinking that people
can learn from and then stick to. So I think
it's super helpful. And um yeah, so what was your

(47:56):
big takeaway from our conversation with her? Yeah? I agree, man,
ill her approach My big takeaway isn't something that she
explicitly stated, Uh, well, I mean so she did say that.
She talked about incremental change and how when it comes
specifically when in regards to your budget, you know, like,
this is the budget, mom, this is comico love. I
want to focus on a takeaway that has to do
with budgeting, and she touched on the fact that when

(48:16):
you create a budget, it needs to be realistic and
then over time you can make incremental changes to it
to slowly ratchet it up, right, to slowly tighten the
belt so that it's something that you are able to
successfully challenge yourself to do, as opposed to just right
out of the gate doing something super extreme where you
immediately fall off that wagon. That's just something that stood
out to me because I think oftentimes folk, yeah, folks

(48:38):
aren't realistic, and instead you need to start from maybe
a place that you're not completely happy with. But over
time then you can make those small changes and you
can find ways to reduce some of those categories of spending.
You know, over time, you can maybe cut ten percent
off of your eating out budget as opposed to slashing
it in half percent. That sounds way more sustainable than
trying to slash it in half and immediately failing. Yeah,

(49:00):
trying to make all the progress overnight, and you're gonna
fall flood on your face. Typically it's really really hard
to go, uh from all to nothing? Right? What about you? So?
I don't know, man, that there were a lot of things.
I think the thing that sticks out in my mind
was when she was very early on talking about how
she and her ex husband talked about money, and she said, well,
we actually didn't fight, but it was worse. We didn't

(49:22):
talk about money. And I think it's a good goal
for all of us to to start this new year
is just talking about money. That's something you and I
are big proponents of, whether it's with your friends, whether
it's with your significant other. We we want to foster
more conversations, more healthy, helpful money conversations about money. And
so many people just neglect those conversations. They they they

(49:43):
they're nervous, they're fearful of beginning that conversation with a
parent or a loved one. And there's a way, like
MKO said, to do it with grace. But we have to,
we have to have those money conversations because if we
just sweep it under the rug, then it's really hard
for us to get on the same page, for us
to make any progress, and for us to to help
each other, and it's harder for us to be on
the same team, which is another thing that she mentioned too,

(50:05):
how important that was in communication is a huge part
of being on any team. I totally agree. Man. Let's
mention the beer that you and I enjoyed this episode.
We shared a double dry hops Stillings Street. This is
an I p A from Trillium, another beer that was
sent to us by Ali. What were your thoughts? Okay,
So I love the Trillium naming conventions that they name

(50:25):
him after like different streets in Boston, and they include
like little maps here and they're like, yeah, this one
in particular, they've got that little street highlighted. Speaking of
your maps reforms earlier, I wonder if that was why
I was on my mind because I'm sitting here looking
at the can occasionally, you know, as we're talking with Comico,
and yeah, she mentioned just knowing where you are, in
my mind just immediately went to this beer can. Yeah,
if you know you're on Ceiling Street, then you probably

(50:47):
have a better idea of how you're gonna get to
Finnaway Park or wherever you're heading in Boston. But uh, yeah, no,
this was honestly, I almost don't even have words to
give for how delicious it was. Basically a perfect double
dry hop I p A. I mean honestly, like it
was pretty much perfection. And that's like trillium just makes
incredible beers and this one, to me, it left like
this just incredible lingering flavor on my tongue of just

(51:11):
like beautiful hot essence. And I don't I don't know
a perfect way to describe the spear except for to
say that it was I mean, it was pretty much perfection.
It was delicious. Yeah, it was completely loaded with that
hot flavor, so much so that it was almost tingly
you know, like it's like sometimes I call it just
like that sharpness that you get with those hot flavors,
but it's almost with this one was almost like that

(51:31):
tingly level where I could feel it just like it
was alive. It's like those massage in my tongue. But yeah, Ali,
thank you so much for sending this one our way. Um,
it was incredibly delicious, and Joel, that's going to be
it for this episode. And We'll make sure to link
to Comico site where you can pre order her book.
Everything that she mentioned, we'll put those up in our
show notes at how the Money dot com. No doubt

(51:52):
and this this is just the start mat of what
How the Money is going to bring to the table
in two lots lots more great interviews like this, more
money saving information. We got your back this year, but
until next time, Best Friends Out, Best Friends Out.
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Joel Larsgaard

Joel Larsgaard

Matthew Altmix

Matthew Altmix

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