CZM Book Club: The Barrow Will Send What it May, Chapter Two

Margaret reads Robert Evans the second book in her Danielle Cain series

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Cool Zone Media.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
Book Club book Club book Club. Welcome to cool Z
Owned Media book Club. That's the best introduction we've ever done.

Speaker 3 (00:19):
Thank you. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (00:20):
Club bars on the floor, but we stepped over.

Speaker 3 (00:22):
I practiced for weeks. We've had to cancel three other shows,
but I got it. I got it now.

Speaker 2 (00:27):
The people that you live with have been really appreciative.
They've all messaged me to.

Speaker 3 (00:31):
Let me Knowah, they love the chanting Yeah, huge chanting fans.

Speaker 2 (00:35):
And the chanting show that you're listening to is cool
Zone Media book Club, which you probably figured out by
the title or the other part of the introduction. But
this is the only book club where you don't have
to do the reading because I do it for you.
I'm your host, Margaret Kiljoy, and my guest today is
Robert Robert Evans.

Speaker 3 (00:54):
Hi, that's me.

Speaker 2 (00:56):
You always made this joke about how you were the
only Robert Evans, and it took me about three years
to get the joke.

Speaker 3 (01:02):
Yeah, well it was. It made more since years ago
when the guy who produced Godfather was still alive and
in the news. Yeah, and I changed my online name
to that the day he died as a bit and
just haven't moved on. Yeah, fair enough, because I used
to be the other Robert Evans, right.

Speaker 2 (01:17):
Yes, yeah, well you're always the greater Robert Evans to.

Speaker 3 (01:22):
Me, thank you, thank you. I'm certainly the Robert Evans
who has done less cocaine, because no matter who you are,
you've done less cocaine than the Robert Evans who made
The Godfather.

Speaker 2 (01:33):
We're going to have to actually invent immortality in order
to be that record.

Speaker 3 (01:36):
Yeah, I don't care for literally scarface.

Speaker 2 (01:43):
So this week and last week and the next several weeks,
we are reading The Barrel Will Send What It May,
which is the second book in the Danielle Kaine series.
And if you want to go back, you can hear
me read the first book in the series to Robert
Evans a couple of years ago. But you can probably
use a certain function instead of scrolling yep, and you
will find me read the book The Lamb Will Slaughter

(02:05):
the Lion. But this book, well it's chapter two, so
you probably know what's happening, or you don't because you
live a very different life than me, and you start
on chapter two.

Speaker 3 (02:14):
Yeah, maybe you're one of those second chapter people at
book talk who believe you should always start with chapter two.
Is that this no, but they it might be. It
is now, it is now. I did have My old.

Speaker 2 (02:26):
Art teacher was always like, it's okay to read the
end of the book first, because you are the person
that it is the object mm hm, and I like
both appreciated that and was like, I will never do that.

Speaker 3 (02:37):
As a writer. I find that deeply off putting as
a logical argument. I can't disagree with it.

Speaker 2 (02:43):
My friend always talks about I'm not going to spoil
this book for the audience, But my friend always talks
about how great spoilers are. Historically, there's like studies that
show that spoilers actually make you enjoy something more. Oh yeah,
and how during like ee oldie Shakespeare times, like when
a new play would come out by anyone, people would
like in the docks, like the boat would be coming
in and they'd be like, what happens at the end

(03:03):
of the new play? Them in a different culture's sure
to do?

Speaker 3 (03:09):
We sure do.

Speaker 2 (03:11):
I was going to somehow tie that into this book
also has the singular day, but because so did Shakespeare anyway,
thine sure Section section two Jesus Christ, Chapter two of
the Barrels send what it May, second book in the
Daniel Kaine series by me Margaret Kiljoy. Staring out a

(03:32):
window again at the low sun. I wasn't in my
body but just above it? Or was I in the
driver's seat again? I wasn't. I was in the passenger
seat of a stranger's car. Not a stranger, Gertrude. Maybe
I was concussed. What did the doctor ask me when
I was a kid and I hit my head super

(03:54):
hard on the playground? What year is it? What's my name?

Speaker 3 (03:58):
Count?

Speaker 2 (03:59):
Backward from one hundred by sevens one hundred ninety three.
I should have just pulled over earlier, as soon as
I'd been tired. Why hadn't I eighty six? It had
felt good driving, I'd felt useful. No, it hadn't been
for other people. Driving west away from Iowa. I'd felt

(04:21):
in control of my own life and destiny. That's half
of why I travel seventy nine. I hadn't felt in
control for months. It wasn't the magic and demon's thing.
It was Clay's death. He'd been such a I don't know,
not a corner stone, a keystone. His existence somewhere in

(04:42):
the world had been keeping me together. He was gone,
and ever since, I hadn't felt like I was in control.
Maybe it wasn't him specifically. Maybe I would have felt
that way if any of my close friends had died.
Did I have close friends anymore? Seventy two? Traveling with
others is always a trade off. Being close with other

(05:05):
people is always a trade off. Do we give up
pieces of our autonomy to be with others? Is it
worth it? Eighty five?

Speaker 3 (05:13):
No? No, that isn't right.

Speaker 2 (05:16):
Fifty five one number was I on? I couldn't be
concussed for the simple reason that I didn't want to
be and I wasn't sure that there was anything I
could do about it. Even if I was, I probably
couldn't count backward from one hundred by sevens. If I
was fine, It was fine. I was fine. I could breathe, thankfully, blissfully.

(05:40):
The sun made its way below the horizon and stopped,
reminding me of that time I flipped a car and
almost killed everyone. I even let myself doze off. But
do you know what came to me in my dreams?

Speaker 3 (05:51):
Robert Evans a belief and an understanding that the only
way to the Promised Land is through the products and
services advertise next on this podcast.

Speaker 2 (06:01):
Whatever they are, that's right, we fully support this is
your only way to Heaven, and we're back. It was

(06:22):
about a three hour drive, and we discussed our plans
as best we could in someone else's car. We'd try
the library. If the folks there were as similar to
us as Gertrude figured, then they'd put us up at
least for the night. Anarchists stick together, well, except when
we get mad at one another over small details. Also,

(06:42):
I guess I kind of fed an anarchist to a
deer a couple days ago, but that's besides the point.
It was collective self defense. He was trying to get
the deer to eat my friends. No matter. We'd try
the library, then see what we could do about getting
a new vehicle. Pendleton goes from rural road to downtown
in less than a block, which is kind of impressive.

(07:04):
Nothing nothing, pasture, nothing, trees, nothing, then a speed trap
and a tourist trap right in a row. The latter
even had a concrete tyrannosaurus out front. That kind of
awesome place you don't see much of until you get
to the parts of the country people write road trip
movies about. Then a Western style tourist downtown, complete with

(07:26):
boardwalk and old timey looking lampposts. This town has seen
better days, I said, as we drove past a broken
trunk of concrete fence that lined the boardwalk. Ain't no
jobs now that the tourists are gone? Why are the
tourists gone? Budget cuts? Gertrude said, I don't know the
whole ways of it, but a lot of public land

(07:47):
went private, and there's not so much outdoor recreation like
there was. It was okay for a while, there was
still work for the gas companies, but I guess this
area wasn't so good after all. And all the jobs
are a couple two more many hours east to hear,
and no one young sticks around. That's a shame, I said,
because it was everything ends. She said that's just God's way.

(08:12):
I didn't believe much in God, but she wasn't wrong.
People are staring, I said. We were stopped at a light,
probably the only light in town, and an old white
man was glaring from behind the curtains of some kind
of knickknacks store. Oh they're not staring at you, Gertrude said.
The light turned green and she turned left off the

(08:33):
main drag. The town was only about three maybe four
blocks wide, maybe ten blocks long, lots of small houses
with forests and plains just beyond. People here ain't prejudiced,
got nothing against black folks or even folks who dress
like I don't know what you call that, punks, I asked.

(08:54):
We weren't what most people think of when you think
of punks. None of us had mohawks, and I don't
think any of us besides maybe Thursday or Brynn, listened
to the sex pistols, but we were punks. Sure? Yeah,
what about trans people? Vulture asked. Gertrude looked up in
the rear view, probably looking at Vulture to see if
she could tell he was trans. Oh, honey, this is Montana,

(09:17):
not North Dakota, she said. Does that mean a yes,
Sarah no, Vulture asked. We read the news, we've seen
people like you online, and people around here are willing
to let people be people. That's cool, Vulture said. He
didn't sound incredibly reassured, you know, Gertrude said, I never

(09:39):
would have noticed you pass really well. So that's the
kind of thing that probably sounds like it's going to
be a compliment but turns out not to be Vulture said,
have you had you know, I think the three of
us tried to cut her off at once. Not a
real polite topic of conversation, I said, got it. She

(10:00):
genuinely seemed to take it well, but telling her not
to ask the questions she so clearly wanted to ask
still managed to kind of silence the car for a moment.
So why are people staring, I asked at last, when
we stopped at the stop sign. Folks have been staring
at me ever since I came back back to town,

(10:20):
back from the dead. She said it so casually, like
it was something no one would raise an eyebrow at
about that. I asked, you mean like they had to
put those paddles on you and shock you back to
life after a car accident or something. If that's not,
I don't know. Also the kind of question that's rude
to ask. No, No, it's okay. Gertrude turned right onto

(10:43):
an unlit street. Maybe the library was this way, maybe
something worse was happening. For the first time in the
whole interaction, Hey, I may be slow, but I'd had
a rough day. I was getting uneasy sitting on the
edge of my seat, eyeing the law on the doors.
I died of cancer last Christmas Eve. I was dead

(11:06):
six months. God bring you back. I dealt with crazy
folks all my life. It was fine, we'd be fine.
I turned over my shoulder to see if my friends
were paying attention. They were. Brin had her hand on
her knife. Thursday had his hand in the kangaroo pocket
of his hoodie, probably on his gun. Someone like that,

(11:28):
Gertrude said. I had a feeling it wasn't God who'd
told Gertrude to pick us up. After all, we'd asked
for the dead to guard us. She stopped the car.
It wasn't sudden, she'd been slowing down, but it caught
me off guard, and I reflexively flicked off my seat belt,
ready to fight or run. Well, she said, turning to

(11:52):
smile with her cold smile. We're here. Been a pleasure
meeting you punks, and God bless. The library was in
an old post office building on a darkened side street.
Greek style column supported the front of the stone building,
and a single flickering bulb and a scance illuminated the door.

(12:12):
A hand lettered wooden sign read Pendleton Library Still free,
Still open to the public ten am to four pm,
run by anarchists. Beneath it, someone attacked a piece of
paper that read, we do not carry the anarchist cookbook.
Get your bad politics and bad science recipes off the internet,

(12:34):
not from us. I got that one from an actual
anarchist bookstore. I had that sign up.

Speaker 3 (12:42):
But I want to make my what is it? What
is the napalm recipe in that?

Speaker 2 (12:47):
Oh, I will not say that. I will not say
recipes of such things online personally.

Speaker 3 (12:51):
No, but it doesn't work.

Speaker 2 (12:54):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (12:54):
Also, don't make napal.

Speaker 2 (12:56):
Yeah, no, it never goes well.

Speaker 3 (12:58):
Yeah. Not something that's ever been used for liberatory purposes.

Speaker 2 (13:09):
Yeah, okay, we could find friends here. What's our cover story,
I asked, Thursday shrugged, play it by ear back up
whatever someone else comes up with. Thursday knocked. He broke
up the rhythm of his knock, presumably to sound friendly
and less like we might be cops. No one likes
a cop knocker. It started raining out of the blue.

(13:33):
There's been a few drops on the windshield in the
last hour, but nothing serious. As soon as we stood
under the awning of the library, the sky opened up.
We're closed, A voice said, sleepily from the other side
of the door. We're travelers, heard there were good people here.
The door opened a slit. The white man peering through

(13:54):
the crack looked to be a little bit older than us,
maybe in his mid thirties. Gray streaked his thick black beard,
and one half of his mustache was stark white. A
spade was tattooed and faded blue on his cheek. Who
told you that, Gertrude Miller? I said, she picked us
up hitch hiking. There was fear in his face. His

(14:16):
eyes darted to each of us in turn. Another face
appeared behind his, a woman closer to my age, with
pitch black hair cut into baby bangs that continued into
an undercut on the side of her head, feral bangs.
I'd heard the style called. They went well with her
septum clicker and immaculate makeup. Sometimes I'm jealous of people

(14:37):
who pull off high fems so well. Oh, for fuck's sake, Vasillis,
she said, let them in. Sorry, The man, presumably Vascillius, mumbled.
He opened the door and went inside. And do you
know what they found inside there?

Speaker 3 (14:51):
Robert evans um, did they find the products and services
that support this podcast.

Speaker 2 (14:57):
They did. They found exactly all of the objects and
ephemeral things that you were about to hear about.

Speaker 3 (15:03):
Excellent, perfect, sexy.

Speaker 2 (15:17):
And we're back. I'm used to anarchist spaces being a
little bit humble might be the polite word for it,
scrappy dy. But this place looked like a library, a
small one, sure, but also one inside a beautiful old
post office building. Rows and rows of books on thick

(15:38):
wooden shelves filled the downstairs. The only thing they'd done differently,
it seemed, was try to kill the sterility one usually
sees in small town libraries. Tasteful sconces set into the
wall lit the place, and a slightly ragtag assortment of
comfortable chairs and couches were everywhere you live here. I

(15:58):
asked All of my questions about more pressing matters, like
the apparently dead woman who'd driven us to town, were
lost in my excitement about people having taken over a
small town library and kept it running. It's funny because
when I wrote all of this, like like, oh, they're
going to privatize the parks, yeah, Like, well, at least

(16:21):
it means we can probably take over my libraries.

Speaker 3 (16:24):
Going is going to be very impressive in the future.

Speaker 2 (16:27):
Yeah, totally, yeah, Vascillas said. He led us through the
main room of the library. It's hard to walk past
that many books without stopping to flip through them. But
I followed him up the backstairs to the apartment above.
It looked a lot more like places I was used to.
The living room was still covered with Florida ceiling bookshelves,

(16:47):
but there was also a dining table and a counter
that separated off a small kitchen area. A short hallway
led to three other doors, presumably two bedrooms in a bathroom. How,
I asked, the county left it empty. We moved in.
It's squatted then, technically, Vascillis said, But even the sheriff's

(17:09):
wife comes here to check out books. I'm not sure
anyone knows or even cares that no one legally owns
the place. People assume we bought it, and we don't
discourage them. I'm Heather, the woman said. As we did introductions. Wait,
Vascilla said, after I introduced myself as Danielle, what's your
last name? Cain, I waited, cringing to hear him call

(17:32):
me Danny. He didn't you knew Clay? He said, we
talked about you a lot last time he was through here.
You know, Clay, Doomsday asked. At the same time, as
the ice was broken by knowledge of a mutual friend,
a different sort of tension filled the room, the tension
of discussing a mutual dead friend. New knew Clay. None

(17:56):
of these assholes had come to his funeral. Everywhere I traveled,
people knew. Everyone talked about him like he was a
magical gift from the universe to its denizens, which he was,
and not one of them had made it to Denver
to drink and mourn with me and his mom. Maybe
I'd go out that way too, I'd live on in legend,
but no one would feel obliged to actually miss me. Sure,

(18:20):
Vascilla said, he came through a couple of times a year,
always wanted to check out whatever new books we had.
The books up here were in fact different from those
on the shelves downstairs. A lot of them had blank spines,
a lot of them were gold embossed. Some of them
looked older than some people think the earth is. This

(18:42):
isn't accult library. I asked, well, what else are you
all doing here? Vasillis asked. He and I were the
only ones still standing. I realized everyone else had made
themselves comfortable on couches and chairs. Rain lashed against the windows,
and thunder rumbled across the plane. We uh. I tried

(19:03):
to figure out what to tell him. I tried to
figure out what was safe to tell him. We're demon hunters,
Vulture blurted out. He put down a book and his phone.
He'd been taking pictures of the pages. We're on the
run because of some stuff that went wrong, and Eulixie
maybe killed a lot of people and some cops too,
so much for a cover story. Doomsday and Thursday shot

(19:25):
him the same look at the same time. The combined
glare would have driven lesser men to silence, or at
least to show remorse on their face. Vulture did neither.
You demon hunters, Vasillis repeated, like the words didn't make
sense in his mouth, like he was speaking some language
he didn't know and was just parroting the phrase back.

(19:46):
I mean we are now, I guess. Vulture gave his
best whoop, sorry, look to the rest of us, you're
here because of the disappearances. Then that was Heather, who
was sitting next to Brynn on a love seat. Thursday
said yes, Vulture said at the same time, Doomsday ritual
must have done a hell of a lot more than

(20:07):
get us a ride safely. What disappearances, I asked, you
might want to sit down, Heather said, this is weird.
I found myself in a large comfortable chair by the window,
and Vasillis brought us all tea. Heather, with a cop
in her hand, told us the story. There used to
be two more of us living here. She started punctuating

(20:29):
her sentence by blowing across her tea, Damien and Asola.
Then there's Loki. I know Loki, I said. It's a
small scene, hitchhiking, weirdos, queer, kind of small book thief.
I'd stayed with them. Loki didn't like being called he
or she. In Oakland for a couple weeks the summer before,

(20:50):
they had been planning a rare book heist. I skipped
down before I found out how it went. Yeah, Heather said,
Loki came through with some books for us. Real shit,
they said. Then they and Damien and Asola went winter
camping in Glacier, and then none of them came back.
Heather took a tiny sip of her tea, decided that

(21:11):
it was cool enough and took a longer sip. Months
go by, no word from any of them. Vasillis and
I tried to track them down, but never found anything.
Not their car, nothing, a record in the back country
hiking registry at Glacier, and that's it. Then this spring,
a Sola shows up in town. She won't talk to us.

(21:35):
Squat's an empty bed and breakfast at the edge of town.
We see her around town sometimes, but it's like she
looks right through us. She looks right through everyone else too.
She's back, but she's not back. Where are the books
Loki brought, Doomsday asked. Most of them are shelled now,

(21:55):
Vasillis said, gesturing at the walls around us. Most of
them are the same garbage you always find though. Ninety
nine point nine percent of occult books or just trash, gibberish,
packaged up all spooky, made to sell for as much
money as possible. Most of them are shelved, Doomsday continued,
Vasillis sighed. The three of them went to Glacier with

(22:18):
one book, one that seemed legit. Loki says they stole
it from some of Vola type fascists on the Olympic Peninsula,
says those people had stolen it from somewhere in England,
the Book of Barrow. Our friends took it to Glacier
because they were going to try something out. What were
they going to try out? Thursday asked, Vasillis looked to

(22:40):
the floor. Heather answered, instead resurrection Loki wanted to hunt
a bear and bring it back to life. Oh fuck that,
Bren said. So they went out to the back country
wilderness in the dead of winner to kill a hibernating bear,
which by the way, doesn't count as hunting, and turn
it into a zombie bear. And then they didn't come back.

(23:03):
Thursday asked, gee, I can't think of anything that might
have gone wrong with that plan. What a mystery, Thursday
Doomsday said, No, Thursday said, you've got to be kidding me.
Mystery solved. They got killed by winter or the bear,
and frankly, it's hard to claim they didn't have it coming.

(23:24):
What about Gertrude Miller, I asked. She told us she
was dead six months then was resurrected. Honestly, Heather said,
Looking at Thursday, when they didn't come back from Glacier,
Vasillis and I thought the same thing you did. But
then a Sola came back. Okay, she's shell shocked and
doesn't want to talk to us. Heather turned to me.

(23:47):
But then Gertrude came back. She was dead for six months.
She was telling the truth about that, then, I said,
Heather nodded. Vulture clapped his hands together. We all looked
at him, and he tried and failed to wipe the
smile off his face. Sorry, he said, It's just we
have our first mystery. Yeah, Thursday side, we'll start first

(24:15):
thing in the morning. Dinner consisted of reheated couscous, baked potatoes,
and green salad. There were too many of us for
the table, so we ate on the couches and easy chairs.
We talked about friends in common who weren't dead or missing,
the state of the anarchist movement and its role in
fighting the rise of fascism and nationalism globally. Then more

(24:39):
interesting to me the state of magic. How many practitioners
do you think there are, I asked, Until a couple
of days ago. I've gone my whole life without seeing
an ounce of real magic, and I have met plenty
of people who spend their time trying it's hard to answer,
Vascilla said, I guess that worldwide, we're talking about a

(25:00):
a few hundred, maybe one thousand people who are real
magicians who are tapped into what the endless spirits have
to offer. Then below that, I don't know a couple
million people who stumble upon magic here and there but
mostly fail. What do you mean? As far as I
can tell, there's only one system of magic that actually
works with any consistency, and that involves appealing to or

(25:24):
summoning directly the endless spirits. But there are a lot
of rituals that end up tapping into that power kind
of by accident, through a side door that people stumble
upon from time to time as they practice other systems.
Most of those side doors are for magic that only
affects the practitioner. Like rituals to grant you courage, work well,

(25:45):
rituals to heal yourself work a little less well. Rituals
to heal other people almost never unless you're communicating directly
with a specific spirit. Okay, I said, If there's a
system of magic that works, why doesn't everyone know about it?
Keeping information rare is harder and harder these days. Oh,

(26:06):
I know, Vulture said. We all turned to look at him.
He finished his food already and was lying across Heather
and Brynn on the love seat. It's the Magic Feds,
he said. I'm on this forum right, and I don't
know a lot of it probably isn't true. But there's
this thing people mention and no one knows its name.
But it's the Magic Feds. And they're like Molder and Scully,

(26:27):
but evil, well not evil from their point of view,
but evil from my point of view. Yeah, Vasillis said,
he used to be the church. Now it's the state.
Still an inquisition. Wait, I said, should we be worried
about this then? I mean, Vascillis said, as long as

(26:48):
you don't do something crazy and spectacular, like said an
endless spirit against your enemies in broad daylight, you'll be fine.
Brinn started laughing, so I said, yes, we should be worried.
There was a spare bedroom it had been a Sola
and Damien's, and we piled in with our bags. Doomsday

(27:10):
claimed the bed for herself on Thursday, and I laid
my sleeping bag out on the floor. Vulture said he
was going for a walk Thursday, said he was going
to stand watch because something felt off. Brynn was out
in the living room, still talking with Heather. I was exhausted,
but as soon as I laid my head down on
my bald up hoodie, I was awake too much, all

(27:33):
in one day, too much, all in one week. I
wanted Brynn there. I wanted to hold her. We'd been
cuddling most nights. I hadn't kissed her or anything. I
hadn't really been sure i'd been ready to do something
like that, and vice versa. But I wanted to cuddle
with her. She was out in the living room talking

(27:53):
to a high femme, gorgeous stranger. That was fine, It
would be Fineane had let up, but there was still
thunder in the distance. Other than that, everything was quiet.
Small towns are strange at night. None of the people
noises of big cities, none of the car noises of
busy rural roads, and none of the wild life noises

(28:14):
of the countryside. Just that thunder and the sound of
Brynn laughing from the living room. It wasn't fine. I
was being an idiot, and I knew it. Brynn didn't
owe me anything, and she wasn't doing anything wrong. Or
even weird or mean. Knowing I was being an idiot
didn't make it better. Couldn't I just think about the

(28:34):
car crash? Instead? Lightning lit the room. Doomsday started snoring.
Worry became anxiety. Anxiety started on its way towards panic.
I got up, pulled my hoodie on, slipped on my boots,
and went out to the living room. Brynn and Heather
were leaning against one another, talking sweetly. Brynn caught my

(28:56):
eye and smiled. It was fine. I went down the
stairs and out the front door. Thursday was on the porch,
staring off down the street. His backpack was in his hand,
concealing his gun. Couldn't sleep, He asked, what is there
to keep watch for? I asked, talking about something other
than me would be good. It was what I needed.

(29:18):
Hell if I know, Thursday said, I'm just I'm just
trying to be useful. I feel that. I said, I'm
not always this way. Thursday said, what way? I don't know?
Protective kind of macho and nodded. I love Doomsday more
than I love life itself. I'm worried about her, I'm

(29:39):
worried about the rest of us. So I don't know
what else to do besides watch out for her best.
I know, how what do you like usually? Believe it
or not. I think I'm usually the funny guy, he said.
When shit ain't serious, I ain't serious either. It's just
shit's real serious. Right now? I can feel that you

(30:00):
like Brynn, he said. It wasn't a question. He'd seen
the two of us together. Yeah, he looked over at me,
took in my expression for a moment. You're jealous of
her and Heather. No, I'm not. He didn't say anything
to that. I guess I am.

Speaker 3 (30:16):
Want to know why.

Speaker 2 (30:17):
I think that is sure, I said, because you don't
know where you stand with her. That's it. That's all.
You figure out where you stand with her, You talk
it over with her, and none of that shit will
bother you any more. He was probably right, Doomsday and me,
we know where we stand. She fucks someone else, how
she falls in love with someone else, it wouldn't bug

(30:37):
me much because she makes it clear where she and
I stand. You all are polly. I feel like most
of the people I know are polyamorous. But it still
surprised me. The days seemed so I don't know traditional
in a wandering a coultist with a bounty on their
heads kind of way. I wouldn't worry about her and
me unless I don't know. Idris Elba decided he was single,

(31:00):
started hanging around. Doomsday is a crush on Idris Elba.
Hell if I know, Thursday said, I'm the one with
a crush on Idris Elba. I laughed at that, Glad
to know I can still be funny when shit's serious.
He said, I'm glad I met you all. I said,
this is hands down the weirdest week of my life,
but I'm glad I've gotten to meet you all. You too,

(31:22):
Danielle Kane. I'm going to go back and try and
sleep again. I said, don't say anything to her what
you're in sad sack mode. I get it, we're all
sad sacks sometimes. But if you go talk to her
right now, you're going to come across wrong, You'll come
across controlling. Just go to bed, and if she cuddles
up with you, cuddle right back, and if not, try

(31:44):
not to stress about it. Thanks for looking out for us, Thursday,
Sleep well, Danielle Kane. On my way back through the library,
I saw three rats on the checkout counter. I have
a hard time getting mad at rats, all the best
animals or scavengers squatters. On my way back through the
living room, I saw Heather sitting next to Brynn. Heather's

(32:07):
arm was across Brynn's lap, and Brynn had a needle
and ink in her hand. She was tattooing Heather. I
couldn't tell what the design was. Brynn looked up at
me and smiled sweetly, and I knew Thursday was right.
If I told Bryn I was sad. Hell, if I
said anything at all, it would come across wrong, and
Brenn wouldn't be smiling so sweetly. No more. I smiled

(32:29):
back and went down the hall to where my sleeping
bag waited for me. It was fine, I was fine.
That's the end of chapter two.

Speaker 3 (32:43):
Well, I'm excited. I'm especially excited for the Magic Feds
because I fall asleep many nights watching X Files, and.

Speaker 2 (32:54):
I've been watching Twin Peaks recently. Oh yeah, yeah, Magic
Feds are a good trope.

Speaker 3 (33:00):
It's great in part because, like, no matter how horrifying
you make like the Magic Fed story, it'll be less
scary than what they normally do. That's I say, on
the day as Habitat for Humanity's bank accounts were frozen
by the FBI.

Speaker 1 (33:20):
Fuck.

Speaker 2 (33:24):
Oh. Sometimes I'm like, we all want the like weird
to demon hunting version of the world because the actual
monsters are Yes, we know who they are, They're in power.

Speaker 3 (33:35):
I've always made this argument Scully is a cop Fox
Molder is not a cop.

Speaker 2 (33:41):
Yeah, totally.

Speaker 3 (33:43):
He never even arrests anyone.

Speaker 2 (33:45):
He's just a nerd who got dragged along.

Speaker 3 (33:47):
No charge is brought. He loses his gun every third episode.

Speaker 1 (33:55):
You know what we all like.

Speaker 2 (33:56):
It's the same as how like with billionaires, I just
want them to stop being billionaires. You know, they can
choose to stop being billionaires. I believe that Molder would
join the side of the right.

Speaker 3 (34:09):
Well, Moulder would be surprised if you put it out
he still has a batch.

Speaker 2 (34:15):
I'm still waiting for the day where you and I
just get to write a like X Files reboot instead
of worrying about the world falling into fascism'.

Speaker 3 (34:24):
That's the dream. That's the dream, And suddenly the primary
conflict in our life will be you repeatedly trying to
convince me that every episode can't be about Bigfoot, and
you have.

Speaker 2 (34:34):
To convince me every single time that they can't just
quit their jobs. That actually one of the core components
of the show is that they had to have those jobs.

Speaker 3 (34:45):
Those two issues will be the Yoko Ono of our
creative relationship.

Speaker 2 (34:50):
Anyway, Part three happens next week, and you all can
write wait or you can go find the book. And
also if you're like, wow, I'm really enjoying this, I
want audiobooks of this book, the one that came before it,
and the third book in the series that isn't even
out yet. Well, have I got a deal for you.
There's a kickstarter. It's really cheap. We saw our audiobooks

(35:10):
for really cheap because we're an independent publisher, which means
our books are slightly more expensive than we wish who
they were. I mean, they're like a normal heist. But
that's still too high because we're weird punks. But right,
we can make the audiobooks really cheap because there's no
paper that we have to pay for, so we passed
the savings onto you. Anyway, see you next week.

Speaker 3 (35:30):
I'm all right, that's it, baby.

Speaker 1 (35:34):
It could happen here as a production of Cool Zone Media.
For more podcasts from cool Zone Media. Visit our website
cool zonemedia dot com, or check us out on the
iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts,
you can find sources for It could happen here, Updated
monthly at cool zonemedia dot com slash sources. Thanks for listening.