April 26, 2018 • 18 mins
Will and Mango pay tribute to pickles! From a Mississippi variation on Fun Dip, to the most romantic overture ever made with a pickle jar, to some of the very worst pickle jokes you'll hear all year, we're serving up a 9-course meal of delicious pickle facts.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Guess what mango? What's that? Well, all right, pop quiz
for you. Do you know which fast food chain uses
the phrase your way right away? Yeah? Of course Burger King?
You got it? All right? Well, I want to tell
you about a little group of pranksters there. There were
some writers in Japan and they've been testing the limits
of that catch phrase since back in two thousand twelve.
So every few years they walk into a Burger King
(00:21):
and they order something outrageous and it's it's different every year,
Like they ordered a cheese burger one year with a
thousand slices of cheese, and they paid for whatever that cost.
But you know, of course, the photos of this are
ridiculous and it just looks like this tiny mountain of
cheese slices piled about a foot in the air. I
don't know how they possibly ate this, but that's what
they ordered. I mean, that was cheese. Feels like it's
(00:43):
just like taunting anyone with lactose intolerance, right, oh yeah,
a nightmare. But the writers didn't stop there, so two
years ago they decided to repeat the feat, but this
time with pickles. So I already like where this is going.
How many pickles can you stack on a burger, alright,
So the writer's about nine thousand yen or about eighty
dollars to max the burger out with pickles, and the
(01:05):
whopper artist at Burger King managed to get about seven
hundred pickles piled onto the patty and the barn. But
then they had to package this thing, so the staff
actually had to tape all these whopper wrappers together to
fit the burger into some packaging, you know, so the
writers could take it home. And then of course the
writers actually just went to town on this thing. So
did they actually finish the burger? Oh? Nowhere close and
(01:27):
had a gross amount of pickles, even if you like pickles.
But the Japanese Burger King's got some good press out
of it, and those writers will probably never have to
worry about scurvy. So that's the good news. And that's
just the first of our nine stories about pickles today.
So let's dive in, y Hey, their podcast listeners, welcome
(02:05):
the part time genius. I'm Will Pearson and as always
I'm joined by my good friend Man Guesh Ticketer and
sitting on the other side of the soundproof glass wearing
a shirt that says let's make a dill. That's our
producer and pickle enthusiasts, Tristan the Pickleman McNeil. So do
you think he knew rooting a show on pickles today
or was it just like a coincidence that he wore
(02:25):
that shirt. I feel like I've seen him like wear
a dozen pickle shirts to work now. Oh yeah, I
don't know how many pickle shirts this guy has. I'm
gonna go with coincidence, all right, Mango. So I kicked
this off with a pickle prank that I think any
of us can actually do at Burger King, So that
that is assuming they have seven d pickles on hand.
But anyway, where do you want to start off with
your first fact? So I'm gonna start with one that
(02:47):
I'm kind of obsessed with, even though I've never actually
tried them, and that's kool Aid pickles, which I guess
originated in the Mississippi Delta. They're basically just store bought
pickles that you get in a jar and then you
dump out the pickle juice and replace it with Koolaid
and sometimes extra sugar, and then the pickles just absorbed
that kool Aid flavor and you get a sweet and
sour taste that people seem to go crazy for. Obviously,
(03:09):
this sounds gross to me because, like, while I could
see the worth and needing a pickle and then like
downing it with a swig of kool Aid, I don't
know why you'd intentionally command those flavors. You know something
I saw recently that grosses me out in the same
way as these Greek salad pizzas when people put lettuce
on their pizzas. I just there's certain things. I don't
know why you combine the experiences. I know. I mean,
(03:30):
like there's no reason for a salad pie right like
that makes But apparently there are a few thoughts on
where these kool Aid pickles actually originated. Some people have
referenced how kool aid used to be common at picnics
and barbecues in the South. It's kind of a cultural
drink where pickles were also served, and people think that's
where it came from. There's also this disgusting theory. I
(03:52):
saw how kids used to use kool Aid powder and
pickles like fun dip, and they just take a dill
pickle and dip it all up in that powder and
then and somehow stores took notice and decided to combine
the flavors. But yeah, today you can supposedly walk into
like gas stations and delis all across the Delta and
buy kool Aid pickles, singles, and every flavor, so you
(04:12):
can get them in the red flavor, blue flavor, purple flavor.
But my favorite thing about them is the names. So
some places call them coolickles or um piculas, which is
a strange name. They're also called candy dills and candy pickles.
And when Walmart started selling a fruit punch flavor did
actually sell them in jars for two dollars a pop.
(04:33):
They called them tropicals, which is I guess the best name. Yeah. Actually,
there's some places where people substitute the traditional kool Aid
with snow cone syrup, so those are called snow coo pickles.
That's pretty good. Actually, I think that one might be
my favorite. So I'm curious to like, how does kool
Aid feel about kool Aid pickles? Have you have you
read anything about this? Yeah, if you look online, it
almost seems like koolid is perplexed by the phenomenon. But
(04:56):
they do have a recipe for cherry flavored pickles on
their site with a very tepid endorsement. They claim it's
quote worth a try, and honestly, the more I talk
about them, I I do think they're worth a try,
I guess. So we should definitely try to get our
hands on some, and some other people should try them.
If I don't, we'll see, all right. Well, speaking of
mysterious pickle origins, I found this great Alice Obscure story
(05:18):
about a jar of pickles and de Pair Missouri. Now
apparently there's this jar that's been left on the side
of a highway ramp and it's become this cult obsession.
So this woman, Barbstein noticed them sitting there back in
two thousand and twelve, and for some reason, it just
kind of made her happy looking at them every day.
So she sets up this Facebook group called Team Pickle,
you know, to make the pickles famous. As she tells
(05:40):
Atlas Obscure a quote every day for six years, I
brushed my teeth, I got in my car, and I
looked for pickles. Seasons changed, the sun beat down, the
snow piled up, construction and protest actions shut down the highway,
and the pickles remained like there was some aura around it,
just protecting it. I like that, I do these like
holy pickles. So this kind of became a phenomenon, I guess. Yeah.
(06:02):
The Facebook group started with like people or so, and
then people started writing jokes and these elaborate poems in
honor of the pickles, and people started making pilgrimages there
just to see the pickle jar, and the following grew
and grew, and sometimes it would get stolen or knocked
off the ledge, and then another jar of pickles would appear.
Sometimes it was the super full jar of pickles or
(06:24):
fresh new pickles, and sometimes it's homemade pickles placed in
tupper ware. And of course their theories about why the
pickles were there in the first place. Some people think
it was just this construction worker who was drinking pickle
juice to avoid cramps and then left it there accidentally.
But Steen is a romantic and she's got a different story,
and it actually cracks me up to hear what she
(06:44):
thinks about this. So she believes, quote, maybe it's somebody
with a forbidden love and they put the pickles up
there at the exit to say hey, I'm thinking of you.
That's amazing and also very very romantic, So I was
looking to have Blastic pickles. And do you know why
Blastic has a stork for a mascot. No, I know.
(07:05):
It's actually playing off the idea that pregnant women crave pickles,
which makes sense when you think about it. I found
these old commercials of that stork doing a Groucho Marks
voice and sticking a pickle out of its mouth like
a cigar, and you know, I just assumed they picked
a memorable mascot because it's funny looking and cute and whatever.
But apparently there was actually a news hook behind picking
(07:26):
a stork. In the nineties seventies, the US had this
drop in birth rates, and the joke was that since
storks were out of work from delivering babies, they just
picked up like these part time jobs, delivering pickles to
pregnant women. And in fact, the company's slogan at the
time was the pickle pregnant women crave, and all the
sadvertising actually worked. They used to be tied with Hines
(07:47):
for ten percent of the pickle market, and the ads
helped them pull ahead and double their share. But that
isn't even the weirdest bit of marketing I saw from Glastic.
I also found this book of pickle jokes they put out.
It's called A hundred one Pickle Jokes Guaranteed to pick
well your funny bone. Gosh, just in that line, I'm
sure they're just great. Are the jokes any good? There's
no way they're any good. Right, Well, I'm gonna run
(08:08):
and buy you. So here's one from the cover. Who's
the toughest pickle in Dodge City? Marshall Dill? What and
What's green? And Sores through the Air Jonathan Livingston pickle.
These are the jokes that they pick for the cover, Like,
these are the jokes that are supposed to lure you
into the book. These are the best ones they have.
(08:29):
But actually that kind of makes me want to read
the best. You know how much I love horrible, horrible jokes.
It was that book of Monster just could not stop
laughing because they were so horrible. We might have to
do a whole episode on terrible jokes from joke books.
All right, Well, here's the fact about pickles that I
thought was interesting. So you know Charles Atlas, right, Yeah,
he's not a bodybuilder from forever ago with all those
(08:51):
ads and like boy Scott Magazines and stuff about getting
strong and not letting people kick sand in your face. Yeah,
that's right, you should not let people kick sand in
the face. That's a good, good rule. So I came
across his recommended diet on Jason Cotkey site, and it's
surprisingly ahead of its time in some way. So, so
here are some of the rules. That says no refined sugar,
no bleach flour, no white rice, no fatty meats, no
(09:14):
soft drinks, no coffee or tea, no staying up past midnight. Ever,
but it also recommends no mustard, no vinegar, and definitely
no pickles. That's funny. I feel like I finally know
why I don't have that Charles Atlas physique. It's just
all these pickles. I eat all those pickles. Just keep
eating pickles, otherwise you'd be totally ripped. Well, actually, Cocky
(09:35):
makes a joke about this list, and he writes reading
that chapter was like having Charles Atlas asked me to
list all my favorite things in the world, then grab
the list from my hands, crumple it up, and toss
it in my face. Although the strangest part he mentions
is that Charles Atlas does make an exception for candy
in the chapter. So what he says is, if you
must eat candy, be sure it is of the very
(09:56):
highest quality. I don't really know what that means, but
that's what he's looking. That's crazy that it is a
cheap for candy. But just how to curiosity are Are
you a fan of pickles? I'm really not. I mean,
I will say I like pickle flavor. I love things
like pickle chips, but there's something about the texture that
just throws me off. So I can't do pickles. And
I love having somebody with me when I'm eating a
(10:16):
sandwich with pickles on them because I don't want to
go to waste, so I can always find a pickle
lover to eat them. That's so funny because I I
don't think I ever noticed that. Like I, I love pickles,
and I've eaten with you dozens of times. I've never
seen you take a pickle off your plate. But I
know people who hate like cilantro or onions, but you know,
I don't really think of people hitting pickles. And then
I read this column from Brian Hickey and The Philly Voice,
(10:38):
and he is outraged that pickles just come on your
plate without you asking for them. So so here's a
quote from his column. Some of you like pickles. I
get that, but you are not decent people, at least
not if you think it's okay for a restaurant to
force pickles upon those of us whose stomachs turn at
the mere sight or worsely, smell, of those squishy, acidic intruders.
Like it's wow, he's is really funny, And he goes
(11:01):
line by line kind of grumping about great facts about pickles,
and and then why he doesn't care, like he's uh,
he says, Cleopatra eight pickles for beauty. I don't care.
I never met her anyway, it's it's really funny to me.
And even though I guess pickles were initially offered as
a palate cleanser, the same way um people use like
(11:22):
ginger for sushi so that you can get a fresh
bite of pastrami sandwich and the flavors feel all new,
dear palette, like after biting into a pickle. Actually read
his column came away with a bit of empathy for
people who just don't love pickles slapped onto the plate
as as a default. Yeah, I appreciate that, and I
appreciate him speaking up on our behalf. But I was
reading an article in the Toronto Star about a pickle
(11:44):
factory up there and and it was going through some
hard times. And one of the things the story talked
about was that there's a Washington based pickle think tank
called Pickle Packers International, and they keep stats. It's so
hard to say that the pickle Packers. It sounds like
a joke. It's amazing it, but it's it's real. And
they keep stats on various pickle shipping metrics and various numbers.
(12:05):
And one of the things they calculated is that North
American consumers believe that the perfect pickle has seven warts
per square inch, seven wartz per square inch. I mean,
I don't know how much I really want like warty pickles.
I don't want pickles at all enough they have warts,
I want them even less. Well, I feel like most
of them just come that way, so like I eat them.
(12:26):
But if I had a choice, I definitely go wortless. Well,
it isn't just you, And you know Europeans actually prefer
wortless pickles as well, so those are the kind that
tend to get sold there. And you know what other
interesting thing about European pickles, and this comes from an
article I read in the Atlantic. But apparently after the
Berlin Wall came down, all these East German brands were
quickly put to rest. They used to make this inferior
(12:48):
new tele called now Doosi. And there was a car
you might remember called the Trabanne. And you know, the
joke about the Trabant was that it's best feature was
the rear window defroster, because it kept your hands toasty
whenever you had to push it around. Now, but the
one thing that East Germans undeniably did better than everyone
else was pickles, specifically this one pickle called the spree Wald,
(13:11):
and after reunification, West German pickle makers started throwing the
term spree Wald on their pickles. And you know, of course,
this is kind of like Champagne, where it's this protective
class of pickles. And supposedly fifty of Germany's domestic pickle
market is spree Wald. Oh Man, I like that there's
a superior pickle out there. And and now I've actually
got two pickles on my bucket list. Cool pickles and
(13:32):
spree Walls got eating to do. Actually, speaking of German
pickle traditions. There's one I want you to clarify for me,
But why don't we do that after the break? Welcome
(13:56):
back to part time genius. So well, did I ever
tell you about my friend Bar who is kicked out
of our friend's house for asking for a pickle? I
feel like I would remember this story. No, I don't
think it is so this is so stupid and it
might only be funny to me. But in a sixth
or seventh grade there was this story that got widely
circulated that Bart, and I of course changed his name.
(14:17):
Here was at a sleepover and he asked for a pickle,
and our other friend's mom was so offended that he
was told he could never come back to the house.
And it was such a weird story, but it just
became part of like our middle school lure. Like everyone
talked about this, everyone knew the story. And and then
like a few years ago, I asked our other friend
who actually hosted the sleepover, if it was true that
(14:38):
Bart got banned from the house just for asking for
a pickle. And he started laughing and he said no,
because of course Bart could ask for a pickle like
that was his prerogative. But then he left pickle juice
and pickle parts strewn all over the counter and made
such an incredible mess of the pickles that that's why
he got banned. But I just love that there was
(14:59):
all this mystery and middle school gossip over someone's mom
getting angry at like a pickle incident, and also like
what sort of like rock star antics supposed to have
gone with these pickles. It was just like so devastating
a scene that he got banned and thrown out. But
I love that you felt like you had to change
his name because this was such a scandal you couldn't
possibly call him by his real name, so we just
(15:20):
have to know him as bart Part. Like once a year,
I'll look in fridge and see a jar pickles and
think about Part. I know that you looked up German pickles,
and I don't want to force your hand on your
last fact, but I do want to know did you
find out anything about Christmas pickles and did they actually
come from Germany? So you know about Christmas pickles, does
your family hide them? I mean, it's just one of
(15:41):
those like funny Christmas traditions you hear about. My My
family has always done like a tree and and carols
and ornaments even though we're Hindu, and presents and all that,
but like, we've actually never done a Christmas pickle for
those of you who don't know about Christmas pickles or
the and I'm gonna butcher this pronunciation of it, but
the way naxt Gerka. The idea is that you hide
a pickle ornament as the very last ornament you hang
(16:03):
on the tree, and the kid who finds this ornament
gets good luck the next year. It's a little like
hiding the afi coman at the Passover Sader. But it's
actually not a German tradition. It actually started at wool Worse,
where they import German ornaments, and these whimsical shape started
showing up in the mix like pickles, and people just
assume they were traditional in Germany. Actually, there's one other
(16:25):
good story associated with Christmas pickles that I thought i'd share.
There's this legend that this Bavarian soldier named John Lower
fell ill while fighting during the Civil War, and when
he was on his deathbed at Andersonville, he asked for
a pickle, and somehow that pickle cured him, and so
from then on he hung a pickle from his Christmas
tree every year, and that launched a tradition. Well I'm
(16:47):
not sure I believe that story, but I do love it. Actually,
this is old fact. I remember from mental flass that
there's this place in Michigan called bury in Springs, and
it refers to itself as the Christmas Pickle Capital of
the world. And they have this parade everyer that's led
by a grand dilmeister who just lobs these wet, fresh
pickles into the crowd of like parade watchers. I don't
(17:09):
know if it still happens, but it's one of those
facts that you know, I found and and I just
can never forget. But that's actually not my last fact,
all right, So what do you have for us? So
there's this old story that there's a law in Connecticut
that pickles have to bounce a certain height to be
considered pickles. So I actually asked our researcher Eaves, to
look into it, and she said, while there's no law
(17:29):
on the books, there are statutes and regulations and articles
that address pickles that PLoP instead of ones that bounce.
And apparently there's an article from where these pickle packers
their their names were Sydney Sparer and Moses Dexler. They
were actually caught for selling bad pickles. And technically these
pickles were called unfit for human consumption, so they were
(17:50):
really bad pickles. But then the Food and Drug commissioner
for the state stepped in and he stated a good
way to check for pickles, in addition to any other
lab test, was to drop a pickle from a height
of one foot and see whether they bounced. I've heard
of the bounce test. I guess as they call is.
Is the bounce test actually real? It is? And uh,
Spara and Dexler's pickles did not bounce. Apparently they just plopped.
(18:13):
And they were arrested and had to pay a five
dollar fine and all of their bad pickles were destroyed.
But you know, when I think about this, if they
just stuck them in a vat of kool aid, they
probably would have gotten away with it. All right. Well,
you and I had a bunch of great pickle facts today.
But I think the fact that my deathbed pickle story
was so good, mango elastic pickle jokes were so bad,
(18:36):
I feel like I probably should take home the trophy today. Yeah,
I'm okay with that and a big thanks to Ease
for helping out with today's facts and research. Definitely a
big thanks to Eaves, and thank you guys for listening.
We'll be back with a full length episode tomorrow
Guess what mango? What's that? Well, all right, pop quiz
for you. Do you know which fast food chain uses
the phrase your way right away? Yeah? Of course Burger King?
You got it? All right? Well, I want to tell
you about a little group of pranksters there. There were
some writers in Japan and they've been testing the limits
of that catch phrase since back in two thousand twelve.
So every few years they walk into a Burger King
(00:21):
and they order something outrageous and it's it's different every year,
Like they ordered a cheese burger one year with a
thousand slices of cheese, and they paid for whatever that cost.
But you know, of course, the photos of this are
ridiculous and it just looks like this tiny mountain of
cheese slices piled about a foot in the air. I
don't know how they possibly ate this, but that's what
they ordered. I mean, that was cheese. Feels like it's
(00:43):
just like taunting anyone with lactose intolerance, right, oh yeah,
a nightmare. But the writers didn't stop there, so two
years ago they decided to repeat the feat, but this
time with pickles. So I already like where this is going.
How many pickles can you stack on a burger, alright,
So the writer's about nine thousand yen or about eighty
dollars to max the burger out with pickles, and the
(01:05):
whopper artist at Burger King managed to get about seven
hundred pickles piled onto the patty and the barn. But
then they had to package this thing, so the staff
actually had to tape all these whopper wrappers together to
fit the burger into some packaging, you know, so the
writers could take it home. And then of course the
writers actually just went to town on this thing. So
did they actually finish the burger? Oh? Nowhere close and
(01:27):
had a gross amount of pickles, even if you like pickles.
But the Japanese Burger King's got some good press out
of it, and those writers will probably never have to
worry about scurvy. So that's the good news. And that's
just the first of our nine stories about pickles today.
So let's dive in, y Hey, their podcast listeners, welcome
(02:05):
the part time genius. I'm Will Pearson and as always
I'm joined by my good friend Man Guesh Ticketer and
sitting on the other side of the soundproof glass wearing
a shirt that says let's make a dill. That's our
producer and pickle enthusiasts, Tristan the Pickleman McNeil. So do
you think he knew rooting a show on pickles today
or was it just like a coincidence that he wore
(02:25):
that shirt. I feel like I've seen him like wear
a dozen pickle shirts to work now. Oh yeah, I
don't know how many pickle shirts this guy has. I'm
gonna go with coincidence, all right, Mango. So I kicked
this off with a pickle prank that I think any
of us can actually do at Burger King, So that
that is assuming they have seven d pickles on hand.
But anyway, where do you want to start off with
your first fact? So I'm gonna start with one that
(02:47):
I'm kind of obsessed with, even though I've never actually
tried them, and that's kool Aid pickles, which I guess
originated in the Mississippi Delta. They're basically just store bought
pickles that you get in a jar and then you
dump out the pickle juice and replace it with Koolaid
and sometimes extra sugar, and then the pickles just absorbed
that kool Aid flavor and you get a sweet and
sour taste that people seem to go crazy for. Obviously,
(03:09):
this sounds gross to me because, like, while I could
see the worth and needing a pickle and then like
downing it with a swig of kool Aid, I don't
know why you'd intentionally command those flavors. You know something
I saw recently that grosses me out in the same
way as these Greek salad pizzas when people put lettuce
on their pizzas. I just there's certain things. I don't
know why you combine the experiences. I know. I mean,
(03:30):
like there's no reason for a salad pie right like
that makes But apparently there are a few thoughts on
where these kool Aid pickles actually originated. Some people have
referenced how kool aid used to be common at picnics
and barbecues in the South. It's kind of a cultural
drink where pickles were also served, and people think that's
where it came from. There's also this disgusting theory. I
(03:52):
saw how kids used to use kool Aid powder and
pickles like fun dip, and they just take a dill
pickle and dip it all up in that powder and
then and somehow stores took notice and decided to combine
the flavors. But yeah, today you can supposedly walk into
like gas stations and delis all across the Delta and
buy kool Aid pickles, singles, and every flavor, so you
(04:12):
can get them in the red flavor, blue flavor, purple flavor.
But my favorite thing about them is the names. So
some places call them coolickles or um piculas, which is
a strange name. They're also called candy dills and candy pickles.
And when Walmart started selling a fruit punch flavor did
actually sell them in jars for two dollars a pop.
(04:33):
They called them tropicals, which is I guess the best name. Yeah. Actually,
there's some places where people substitute the traditional kool Aid
with snow cone syrup, so those are called snow coo pickles.
That's pretty good. Actually, I think that one might be
my favorite. So I'm curious to like, how does kool
Aid feel about kool Aid pickles? Have you have you
read anything about this? Yeah, if you look online, it
almost seems like koolid is perplexed by the phenomenon. But
(04:56):
they do have a recipe for cherry flavored pickles on
their site with a very tepid endorsement. They claim it's
quote worth a try, and honestly, the more I talk
about them, I I do think they're worth a try,
I guess. So we should definitely try to get our
hands on some, and some other people should try them.
If I don't, we'll see, all right. Well, speaking of
mysterious pickle origins, I found this great Alice Obscure story
(05:18):
about a jar of pickles and de Pair Missouri. Now
apparently there's this jar that's been left on the side
of a highway ramp and it's become this cult obsession.
So this woman, Barbstein noticed them sitting there back in
two thousand and twelve, and for some reason, it just
kind of made her happy looking at them every day.
So she sets up this Facebook group called Team Pickle,
you know, to make the pickles famous. As she tells
(05:40):
Atlas Obscure a quote every day for six years, I
brushed my teeth, I got in my car, and I
looked for pickles. Seasons changed, the sun beat down, the
snow piled up, construction and protest actions shut down the highway,
and the pickles remained like there was some aura around it,
just protecting it. I like that, I do these like
holy pickles. So this kind of became a phenomenon, I guess. Yeah.
(06:02):
The Facebook group started with like people or so, and
then people started writing jokes and these elaborate poems in
honor of the pickles, and people started making pilgrimages there
just to see the pickle jar, and the following grew
and grew, and sometimes it would get stolen or knocked
off the ledge, and then another jar of pickles would appear.
Sometimes it was the super full jar of pickles or
(06:24):
fresh new pickles, and sometimes it's homemade pickles placed in
tupper ware. And of course their theories about why the
pickles were there in the first place. Some people think
it was just this construction worker who was drinking pickle
juice to avoid cramps and then left it there accidentally.
But Steen is a romantic and she's got a different story,
and it actually cracks me up to hear what she
(06:44):
thinks about this. So she believes, quote, maybe it's somebody
with a forbidden love and they put the pickles up
there at the exit to say hey, I'm thinking of you.
That's amazing and also very very romantic, So I was
looking to have Blastic pickles. And do you know why
Blastic has a stork for a mascot. No, I know.
(07:05):
It's actually playing off the idea that pregnant women crave pickles,
which makes sense when you think about it. I found
these old commercials of that stork doing a Groucho Marks
voice and sticking a pickle out of its mouth like
a cigar, and you know, I just assumed they picked
a memorable mascot because it's funny looking and cute and whatever.
But apparently there was actually a news hook behind picking
(07:26):
a stork. In the nineties seventies, the US had this
drop in birth rates, and the joke was that since
storks were out of work from delivering babies, they just
picked up like these part time jobs, delivering pickles to
pregnant women. And in fact, the company's slogan at the
time was the pickle pregnant women crave, and all the
sadvertising actually worked. They used to be tied with Hines
(07:47):
for ten percent of the pickle market, and the ads
helped them pull ahead and double their share. But that
isn't even the weirdest bit of marketing I saw from Glastic.
I also found this book of pickle jokes they put out.
It's called A hundred one Pickle Jokes Guaranteed to pick
well your funny bone. Gosh, just in that line, I'm
sure they're just great. Are the jokes any good? There's
no way they're any good. Right, Well, I'm gonna run
(08:08):
and buy you. So here's one from the cover. Who's
the toughest pickle in Dodge City? Marshall Dill? What and
What's green? And Sores through the Air Jonathan Livingston pickle.
These are the jokes that they pick for the cover, Like,
these are the jokes that are supposed to lure you
into the book. These are the best ones they have.
(08:29):
But actually that kind of makes me want to read
the best. You know how much I love horrible, horrible jokes.
It was that book of Monster just could not stop
laughing because they were so horrible. We might have to
do a whole episode on terrible jokes from joke books.
All right, Well, here's the fact about pickles that I
thought was interesting. So you know Charles Atlas, right, Yeah,
he's not a bodybuilder from forever ago with all those
(08:51):
ads and like boy Scott Magazines and stuff about getting
strong and not letting people kick sand in your face. Yeah,
that's right, you should not let people kick sand in
the face. That's a good, good rule. So I came
across his recommended diet on Jason Cotkey site, and it's
surprisingly ahead of its time in some way. So, so
here are some of the rules. That says no refined sugar,
no bleach flour, no white rice, no fatty meats, no
(09:14):
soft drinks, no coffee or tea, no staying up past midnight. Ever,
but it also recommends no mustard, no vinegar, and definitely
no pickles. That's funny. I feel like I finally know
why I don't have that Charles Atlas physique. It's just
all these pickles. I eat all those pickles. Just keep
eating pickles, otherwise you'd be totally ripped. Well, actually, Cocky
(09:35):
makes a joke about this list, and he writes reading
that chapter was like having Charles Atlas asked me to
list all my favorite things in the world, then grab
the list from my hands, crumple it up, and toss
it in my face. Although the strangest part he mentions
is that Charles Atlas does make an exception for candy
in the chapter. So what he says is, if you
must eat candy, be sure it is of the very
(09:56):
highest quality. I don't really know what that means, but
that's what he's looking. That's crazy that it is a
cheap for candy. But just how to curiosity are Are
you a fan of pickles? I'm really not. I mean,
I will say I like pickle flavor. I love things
like pickle chips, but there's something about the texture that
just throws me off. So I can't do pickles. And
I love having somebody with me when I'm eating a
(10:16):
sandwich with pickles on them because I don't want to
go to waste, so I can always find a pickle
lover to eat them. That's so funny because I I
don't think I ever noticed that. Like I, I love pickles,
and I've eaten with you dozens of times. I've never
seen you take a pickle off your plate. But I
know people who hate like cilantro or onions, but you know,
I don't really think of people hitting pickles. And then
I read this column from Brian Hickey and The Philly Voice,
(10:38):
and he is outraged that pickles just come on your
plate without you asking for them. So so here's a
quote from his column. Some of you like pickles. I
get that, but you are not decent people, at least
not if you think it's okay for a restaurant to
force pickles upon those of us whose stomachs turn at
the mere sight or worsely, smell, of those squishy, acidic intruders.
Like it's wow, he's is really funny, And he goes
(11:01):
line by line kind of grumping about great facts about pickles,
and and then why he doesn't care, like he's uh,
he says, Cleopatra eight pickles for beauty. I don't care.
I never met her anyway, it's it's really funny to me.
And even though I guess pickles were initially offered as
a palate cleanser, the same way um people use like
(11:22):
ginger for sushi so that you can get a fresh
bite of pastrami sandwich and the flavors feel all new,
dear palette, like after biting into a pickle. Actually read
his column came away with a bit of empathy for
people who just don't love pickles slapped onto the plate
as as a default. Yeah, I appreciate that, and I
appreciate him speaking up on our behalf. But I was
reading an article in the Toronto Star about a pickle
(11:44):
factory up there and and it was going through some
hard times. And one of the things the story talked
about was that there's a Washington based pickle think tank
called Pickle Packers International, and they keep stats. It's so
hard to say that the pickle Packers. It sounds like
a joke. It's amazing it, but it's it's real. And
they keep stats on various pickle shipping metrics and various numbers.
(12:05):
And one of the things they calculated is that North
American consumers believe that the perfect pickle has seven warts
per square inch, seven wartz per square inch. I mean,
I don't know how much I really want like warty pickles.
I don't want pickles at all enough they have warts,
I want them even less. Well, I feel like most
of them just come that way, so like I eat them.
(12:26):
But if I had a choice, I definitely go wortless. Well,
it isn't just you, And you know Europeans actually prefer
wortless pickles as well, so those are the kind that
tend to get sold there. And you know what other
interesting thing about European pickles, and this comes from an
article I read in the Atlantic. But apparently after the
Berlin Wall came down, all these East German brands were
quickly put to rest. They used to make this inferior
(12:48):
new tele called now Doosi. And there was a car
you might remember called the Trabanne. And you know, the
joke about the Trabant was that it's best feature was
the rear window defroster, because it kept your hands toasty
whenever you had to push it around. Now, but the
one thing that East Germans undeniably did better than everyone
else was pickles, specifically this one pickle called the spree Wald,
(13:11):
and after reunification, West German pickle makers started throwing the
term spree Wald on their pickles. And you know, of course,
this is kind of like Champagne, where it's this protective
class of pickles. And supposedly fifty of Germany's domestic pickle
market is spree Wald. Oh Man, I like that there's
a superior pickle out there. And and now I've actually
got two pickles on my bucket list. Cool pickles and
(13:32):
spree Walls got eating to do. Actually, speaking of German
pickle traditions. There's one I want you to clarify for me,
But why don't we do that after the break? Welcome
(13:56):
back to part time genius. So well, did I ever
tell you about my friend Bar who is kicked out
of our friend's house for asking for a pickle? I
feel like I would remember this story. No, I don't
think it is so this is so stupid and it
might only be funny to me. But in a sixth
or seventh grade there was this story that got widely
circulated that Bart, and I of course changed his name.
(14:17):
Here was at a sleepover and he asked for a pickle,
and our other friend's mom was so offended that he
was told he could never come back to the house.
And it was such a weird story, but it just
became part of like our middle school lure. Like everyone
talked about this, everyone knew the story. And and then
like a few years ago, I asked our other friend
who actually hosted the sleepover, if it was true that
(14:38):
Bart got banned from the house just for asking for
a pickle. And he started laughing and he said no,
because of course Bart could ask for a pickle like
that was his prerogative. But then he left pickle juice
and pickle parts strewn all over the counter and made
such an incredible mess of the pickles that that's why
he got banned. But I just love that there was
(14:59):
all this mystery and middle school gossip over someone's mom
getting angry at like a pickle incident, and also like
what sort of like rock star antics supposed to have
gone with these pickles. It was just like so devastating
a scene that he got banned and thrown out. But
I love that you felt like you had to change
his name because this was such a scandal you couldn't
possibly call him by his real name, so we just
(15:20):
have to know him as bart Part. Like once a year,
I'll look in fridge and see a jar pickles and
think about Part. I know that you looked up German pickles,
and I don't want to force your hand on your
last fact, but I do want to know did you
find out anything about Christmas pickles and did they actually
come from Germany? So you know about Christmas pickles, does
your family hide them? I mean, it's just one of
(15:41):
those like funny Christmas traditions you hear about. My My
family has always done like a tree and and carols
and ornaments even though we're Hindu, and presents and all that,
but like, we've actually never done a Christmas pickle for
those of you who don't know about Christmas pickles or
the and I'm gonna butcher this pronunciation of it, but
the way naxt Gerka. The idea is that you hide
a pickle ornament as the very last ornament you hang
(16:03):
on the tree, and the kid who finds this ornament
gets good luck the next year. It's a little like
hiding the afi coman at the Passover Sader. But it's
actually not a German tradition. It actually started at wool Worse,
where they import German ornaments, and these whimsical shape started
showing up in the mix like pickles, and people just
assume they were traditional in Germany. Actually, there's one other
(16:25):
good story associated with Christmas pickles that I thought i'd share.
There's this legend that this Bavarian soldier named John Lower
fell ill while fighting during the Civil War, and when
he was on his deathbed at Andersonville, he asked for
a pickle, and somehow that pickle cured him, and so
from then on he hung a pickle from his Christmas
tree every year, and that launched a tradition. Well I'm
(16:47):
not sure I believe that story, but I do love it. Actually,
this is old fact. I remember from mental flass that
there's this place in Michigan called bury in Springs, and
it refers to itself as the Christmas Pickle Capital of
the world. And they have this parade everyer that's led
by a grand dilmeister who just lobs these wet, fresh
pickles into the crowd of like parade watchers. I don't
(17:09):
know if it still happens, but it's one of those
facts that you know, I found and and I just
can never forget. But that's actually not my last fact,
all right, So what do you have for us? So
there's this old story that there's a law in Connecticut
that pickles have to bounce a certain height to be
considered pickles. So I actually asked our researcher Eaves, to
look into it, and she said, while there's no law
(17:29):
on the books, there are statutes and regulations and articles
that address pickles that PLoP instead of ones that bounce.
And apparently there's an article from where these pickle packers
their their names were Sydney Sparer and Moses Dexler. They
were actually caught for selling bad pickles. And technically these
pickles were called unfit for human consumption, so they were
(17:50):
really bad pickles. But then the Food and Drug commissioner
for the state stepped in and he stated a good
way to check for pickles, in addition to any other
lab test, was to drop a pickle from a height
of one foot and see whether they bounced. I've heard
of the bounce test. I guess as they call is.
Is the bounce test actually real? It is? And uh,
Spara and Dexler's pickles did not bounce. Apparently they just plopped.
(18:13):
And they were arrested and had to pay a five
dollar fine and all of their bad pickles were destroyed.
But you know, when I think about this, if they
just stuck them in a vat of kool aid, they
probably would have gotten away with it. All right. Well,
you and I had a bunch of great pickle facts today.
But I think the fact that my deathbed pickle story
was so good, mango elastic pickle jokes were so bad,
(18:36):
I feel like I probably should take home the trophy today. Yeah,
I'm okay with that and a big thanks to Ease
for helping out with today's facts and research. Definitely a
big thanks to Eaves, and thank you guys for listening.
We'll be back with a full length episode tomorrow
Part-Time Genius News
Hosts And Creators
Will Pearson
Mangesh Hattikudur
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