July 10, 2025 • 24 mins
On this Ask Suze & KT Anything episode, KT asks Suze questions from you about the relationship between oil and the stock market, which is better: buying or renting a home, finances and family plus so much more.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Suze (00:01):
We are
(00:28):
July 10, 2025. Welcome everybody to the Women and Money podcast.
KT (00:35):
Everyone smart enough to listen.
Suze (00:38):
Are you all taking advantage of the Alliant Credit Union
12 month CD offer? You should go to myalliant.com
and 12 month one year CD is at 4.3 APY
and it's only for Suze listeners so special just for
(01:00):
you so you best take advantage of it all right KT.
KT (01:05):
All right, my first question is from Caitlin. Hi Suze.
Suze (01:09):
Like Caitlin Clark. Oh,
KT (01:12):
Suze loves Caitlin Clark. Everyone loves Caitlin Clark. She changed
the whole face of women's basketball, didn't she?
Suze (01:18):
I love women's basketball.
KT (01:22):
I never liked it until she came on board because
I found it to be slow and boring compared to men, but she is extraordinary.
Suze (01:28):
Everyone should be grateful to her. And all the people that keep
pushing her and knocking her down.
You don't want her out of the game. You don't
want that.
KT (01:37):
Don't hurt our girl...
Suze (01:38):
Don't do that.
KT (01:39):
OK, so from Caitlin. Hi Suze, is there a relationship
between oil and the stock market?
Suze (01:46):
It depends, KT. Sometimes people think there's like this inverse
relationship between the stock market and oil, so they kind
of think that when oil prices go up, then the
stock market goes down and vice versa.
And that logic is just very simple, but it isn't true.
They think higher oil equals higher cost for companies, which
(02:09):
means lower profits and da da da, but history doesn't
back that up on any level. Sometimes they rise together.
Because a strong economy, KT can also like increase the
demand for oil, so for shipping, travel, manufacturing, all those
things in a strong economy can also boost corporate earnings,
(02:30):
lifting stock prices up. So like in 2006 and 2007
you're going to yell at me for going on too
long about this simple question, but oil prices, do you
remember this, they rose so sharply.
And the S&P 500 index was also just totally... It
was skyrocketing. Why? Because the economy was roaring.
(02:55):
So they both were doing well...
KT (02:57):
Is that when the price of gas was like over the... off the charts?
Suze (03:01):
Off the charts.
KT (03:02):
like 4 or $5
Suze (03:04):
But sometimes KT they go in opposite directions. In 2011,
do you remember when all this unrest was in the
Middle East and it pushed up oil so much and
then stocks pulled back temporarily, but it was always just temporarily.
So here's the bottom line that was a very long
(03:25):
answer to no. Oil and stocks aren't consistently inverse or together.
It all depends on what's going on, all right, just
that simple.
KT (03:37):
OK, next question is from Anita and I think that
many people listening may find themselves in this dilemma. She
said hello Suze Orman.
I am 68. I lost my partner after he retired
and passed 4 years ago. I made so many financial
mistakes trying to do the right thing, maybe the old
(04:00):
fashioned way.
In 2022 I was told the interest rate was increasing,
the housing prices would decrease, and I would be in trouble,
so I sold and entered the worst time to rent
before trying to buy again.
So now let me give everyone a little backstory here.
(04:22):
Anita has two children, one is in California, one is
in Washington state, and she's weighing in that if she
was to buy a home in California, for instance, she
said she can put 20% down on a half plex
that needs to be remodeled in a nice lakeside community,
(04:45):
a little remote for under 400. All right, ready?
Or I can buy a newer one that is a
tight duplex for over 400 in Washington state where prices
are increasing and most homes are over 550, she said,
and it rains a lot there, so she said, any thoughts?
(05:06):
Should I continue to rent and continue to wait until
the economy changes or do something?
So she's renting and paying in rent more than what
her mortgage payment was on a house she sold, but
kind of kicking herself.
Suze (05:21):
You can't kick yourself, you know, there's a lot of
money which is you cannot look at what you had.
You have to look at what you have comparing to
something that was years ago versus now just makes no
sense because everything has gone up so much in value.
Here's the thing.
(05:42):
You know you lost your partner four years ago and
sometimes and that's why I always say to everybody that
you are to do nothing other than to stay safe
and sound for at least six months to one year,
preferably two years after you have suffered the loss of
a loved one because when you do make a move,
(06:03):
it's a move like this and you made a mistake.
But all right, you made a mistake. You now can't
afford to make another one.
So Anita, you really need to ask yourself the question,
do you like where you're living right now? Forget about
what you're spending versus what you used to spend. Can
you afford renting? Because trust me, renting has its advantages
(06:27):
as well. When something breaks, you need a new refrigerator,
whatever it is, you don't have to fix anything. You
are not responsible for anything, so you are now 68.
And you will get older and older and some... hopefully
and hopefully and sometimes owning a home is a big deal.
(06:50):
Also when you buy a home, you never quite know
what you are really buying. Like does it leak? Will
the plumbing need to be replaced? All of these things.
So first question you have to ask and answer yourself.
Do you like where you're renting?
Can you afford it comfortably?
(07:10):
And if so, continue to rent. You don't have to
make a decision because your rent is more than what
your mortgage payment was years ago. That's number one. Number two,
you really need to think about where you want to
move all right? And besides the house, is it in
(07:32):
an area that it's walkable, it's easy for health care
there's a community what is the maintenance? What are your
neighbors like? You need to
look at all of those things because if it's a
duplex you're going to have somebody living next door to
you and you're gonna hear them going up and down
the stairs maybe they have kids, maybe they play their
(07:53):
music loud, so you really really need to think about
that OK. Also you need to understand what's happening with weather.
When you own something and you don't own it outright,
you do a mortgage on it all right, you're gonna
have to have property insurance and property insurance today is
(08:18):
so much more than it was when you owned your
other house. I can't even tell. You so can you
really afford what it's gonna cost you to live in
this house property taxes, insurance, maintenance and everything.
I'm not sure that you should absolutely do this all
(08:40):
at once, all right? Just feels like you're rushing and
thinking if you buy something now, it will take away
the mistake you made then.
Look at what you have, not at what you had.
Right now, you have a lot of money making a
good interest that you could invest and make even more money,
(09:01):
and maybe that's better than owning a
home.
KT (09:04):
All right. Suze, I currently have a revocable trust created
by an attorney. I am 60 but created this 10
years ago.
I want to make changes, but the attorney wants, ready...
$6000 to do that. Can I use your must-have document
program to create a new trust that will supersede the
(09:28):
prior one?
Not complicated, but something that you absolutely can do by
yourself on your own and save $6000.
Suze (09:37):
Yeah, I think $99 to buy it.
KT (09:40):
Must have documents...
Suze (09:41):
would be, yeah, would be easy. So go to must-havedocs.com
and take a look. All right, go on, KT.
KT (09:47):
OK, next question is from Mandy. My husband and I
both have individual HSAs, health savings accounts that are just sitting.
We are currently maxing each year in our family plan.
What is your advice on investing the funds in the
HSA rather than letting it sit earning pennies on the
(10:08):
dollar?
Suze (10:08):
Oh, you should absolutely invest it. Every HSA, health savings account,
comes with investments, whether they're 1000 of them, 15 of them, whatever.
Contact your
company, see what you can invest in, and you should
be investing. All right, go on KT.
KT (10:25):
OK, this next one is another spicy question. I love these.
This one's really good. This is from Michelle. She said,
hi Suze. She is 25 and he is 24.
Suze (10:38):
That's how she opens this email?
KT (10:40):
Yes, ma'am. Here is a little more background of the
pickle I've gotten myself into. My son was a senior
in high school when COVID hit. Real bummer for his
senior year. He went to college in the fall and
all his classes turned into online classes, which didn't work
for him. He didn't pass any classes and he moved home.
(11:02):
When he moved home, he got a job, built up
his savings. When he was ready to go back to school,
he decided to go to where my daughter had just
graduated and move into the house that I bought as
an investment while she was in school.
And Michelle goes on to tell us it was a
good investment. I've rented rooms to students that covers the
(11:24):
mortgage and my kid while going to school didn't have
to pay rent. Good. So Michelle did well with her daughter.
Suze (11:31):
Then what happened?
KT (11:32):
Then soon thereafter, his girlfriend wanted to move in with him.
She was living in our hometown, which is three hours away.
I should have done my due diligence, but since she
is my son's girlfriend, I said, OK. She signed a
lease agreement and was supposed to pay rent, but with
(11:53):
just sporadic jobs and other bills to pay, I've only
received sporadic rent payments. She's a good talker and makes
plans to get back on track with every job. As
of now she owes me over $4000 in back rent.
I found out she borrowed money from my son to
(12:16):
help pay her bills. His nest egg is now gone,
and she's borrowed from other people too. It's an ugly
situation and hard on our family because it's my son's girlfriend.
If it was any other renter, they would have been
out of the house a long time ago. So Michelle
(12:37):
goes on to tell us she's a person who has
all sorts of big plans traveling, retiring early, etc., but
doesn't hold a job and has no money. I want
to give her something that could help her be realistic
and kick her into gear. I kick her somewhere else, Suze,
(12:57):
but I think that Michelle.
Is, um,
Suze (13:00):
I know exactly what she's
saying
KT (13:01):
She's saying...
Suze (13:02):
I know exactly what I would tell Michelle.
I don't care about this girl.
KT (13:08):
I don't think Michelle wants a daughter-in-law.
Suze (13:10):
Wait, listen to me. I care about her son, and
her son is obviously making very bad choices right now.
And since this is her son's girlfriend.
I would tell them they both have to leave. Oh,
I would say to both of them I would sit
them down and I would say I am owed $4000
(13:34):
in back rent. You, this woman, I would say, whatever
her son's name is, I allowed your girlfriend to live
here because I love you so much, but I don't
love you enough to be down $4000. Therefore, the two
of you need to leave.
So that I can get rent for both of your
(13:56):
places and make up for the $4000 deficit so you
have 30 days to both be out of here.
KT (14:05):
And find your own place to live and figure it out.
Suze (14:08):
And that's it, right? And I'm not going back on this.
This is how it is. You have to take responsibility
that you are in a relationship with somebody who has
been totally irresponsible, and I would say this in front
of her.
Therefore, if this is what you are choosing, then you
have to choose to stick by her side and leave
(14:29):
with her. You have 30 days to get out, and
that is exactly what I would say.
KT (14:35):
I love that. That's great, great advice.
Suze (14:37):
That is exactly what I would say.
KT (14:40):
I love that. Yeah, good, Michelle, do it.
Suze (14:43):
Now, Michelle, it's gonna be very hard for you to
do that because it's your son.
But if you don't kick your son into common sense gear,
he's gonna possibly get this woman pregnant. He's possibly going
to end up having to marry her. He's never gonna
have any money. That will be the biggest regret of
his life, not your life necessarily, but his life.
(15:07):
Kick it out now, or I'm telling you your son
is going to pay. He obviously can't say no to her.
Because he gave her all of his savings, are you
kidding me? He's got to leave and figure out how
to do it on his own now, just that simple.
And when he says, no, no, Mom, mom, really will
(15:28):
come up with the money and say, sorry, my mind
is made up. Both of you have to go. That's
it.
KT (15:34):
If you can come up with that money, then that's
plenty of money for you to rent elsewhere. Be stern
and strict.
Suze (15:42):
Then, if he says, but what if she goes and
I stay? Sorry.
Right, you want to do that to your girlfriend. Why
would you want to do that to your girlfriend? You
can't do that to your girlfriend unless you break up
with your girlfriend. So you should just be really straight
with him. This is going to be the hardest thing
you've ever had to do, but guess what? I have
a feeling. Think about that $4000. Think about what you're
(16:04):
saving your son from, and you can do it.
KT (16:08):
So Suze, this is my last question. This is gonna be a short...
Suze (16:11):
What do you mean it's your last question?
KT (16:12):
It's the middle of July. I'm doing a summer shorty today. Why?
It is the most gorgeous day on Earth, and I'm
taking Suze for a boat ride. Everyone, I'm taking her
for a boat breakfast adventure, and that's all I'm gonna
tell her. So here's my last question. Dear Suze...
Suze (16:33):
You should see my face, everybody. All right, go on.
KT (16:37):
Um, uh, I like this question. Thank you for all
you and KT do. I handle the finances for our family,
and I so appreciate everything I've learned from you. I
hope you might be able to help me with this question,
and this is from Lynn. She said, My daughter and
her partner are about to have their first child.
(16:58):
They are each taking two months unpaid leave. Our daughter
will then return to her freelance work, and our daughter-in-law
will begin nursing school. They are both admirable young people.
They're asking for our help, paying for child care beginning
in January, perhaps $1500 a month.
(17:20):
This is something we can afford to do, and we
have been very generous and helpful in the past. Where
I stumble is in the feeling that they should be
living within their means and wondering what we are teaching
them by being so generous. I'd love to know your
thoughts sincerely, Lynn.
Suze (17:41):
So KT, this one's a little confusing to me, right?
KT (17:46):
I don't think it's confusing at all.
Suze (17:48):
Well, it's confusing to me...
KT (17:50):
Lynn and her husband clearly have, you know, plenty of money.
And they have been very generous to their children, obviously,
she said we've been very generous in the past and
we would like to continue helping them. We can afford
to help them, but her dilemma is that she is
(18:10):
a Suze student.
And she's asking you this question; am I hurting by
helping or am I helping by hurting?
Suze (18:20):
I understood that when you read it, KT but this...
Lynn is having issues with money, right? You can just,
you just, just feel it. So Lynn, the real question
is why, what's going on in your life that you
feel like all of a sudden you wanna pull back here.
(18:41):
Because if you feel like the fact that you even
asked me this question "where I stumble is in feeling
that they should be living within their means," says to
me that they're living a really great lifestyle on your
money and you don't like it and therefore I think
(19:04):
did they just assume when they had their child that
you were going to take care of it?
Did they not have a plan of what it would
actually cost them to do so, and are they just
taking it for granted that you're going to step in
and give them $1500 a month? What KT?
KT (19:24):
Well, if you take a look at this carefully, one
of the girls is going back to nursing school. The
other one is going back to freelancing. They obviously can't afford.
To both go to work and have a child.
Suze (19:42):
Well, didn't they think about that before they had a child?
Because it's not like, I mean, with the due respect,
and I can say this, it's two women. It's like
they tried to get pregnant. It's not like it just
happened and now all of a sudden one of them
is pregnant, right, which can happen and seriously between a
man and a woman, and now you're pregnant, what are
(20:03):
you gonna do?
Here these two they planned the child, but they did
not plan how to pay for the child and I
think where Lynn is feeling a little bit upset.
Is that now it's almost as if they don't have
a choice. They're asking for her help to pay for
(20:27):
child care beginning in perhaps the $1500 a month.
KT (20:32):
So they're asking...
Suze (20:33):
Here's what I don't understand why are they each taking
two months of unpaid leave? That's what I would be
upset about.
Why doesn't just one take leave the mother that had
the baby and the other one should continue working to
make money to save that money to pay for child
(20:57):
care when the other one has to go back to
wherever they're going back to because I don't know which one...
KT (21:02):
We don't know which, yeah, we don't know which one...
Suze (21:05):
So, I have to tell you, Lynn, I would have
a serious talk with them.
And I would have a talk with them. Who did
you think was going to pay for this when you
decided to have a child? Why are you both taking leave?
Like how can we cut your expenses so that in
fact you can afford to pay for childcare. There's more
(21:26):
going on. I'm so sorry. I don't know what else
Lynn is dealing with.
KT (21:30):
I think Lynn feels like she is a bank instead
of a grandmother.
Suze (21:37):
That's actually a great idea, KT.
If Lynn feels like she's a bank, then she needs
to act like a bank, and if she decides that
she's going to help them with $1500 a month, it
needs to be a loan, not a gift, and she
should have a contract drawn up seriously where when our
(22:01):
payments due on this loan.
And at what interest rate and they both need to
sign it. It needs to be like a legal contract.
And that Lynn maybe will give them two years to
start making payments on it.
Right, because in that period of time it's gonna be
(22:22):
like $36,000 Lynn, that you will have paid for them
and so then I would take that $36,000 and I
would demand payments on it over X amount of years,
maybe over the next five years they need to pay
that back to you, but whatever feels good to you,
(22:43):
but seriously you need to have a talk with them
and then you decide.
But they planned to have a child, but they didn't
plan to pay for the child, and they just assumed
you were going to. What have you done in your
relationship with them that allowed them to even think that way?
(23:03):
How did you create this situation? Just something for you
to think about, you know, Lynn sounds like somebody who
she always steps in to help somebody who's in need.
Just sounds that way to me anyway.
That's it, huh, KT?
KT (23:18):
I think that's a wrap, Suze.
Suze (23:20):
Where are we going?
KT (23:21):
I'm taking you for a great adventure.
Suze (23:23):
I'm the one who drives the boat.
KT (23:25):
You will drive, but I'm taking you to the destination.
Suze (23:28):
And you have it in mind?
KT (23:30):
Yes.
Suze (23:30):
Are you bringing food?
KT (23:32):
Yes.
Suze (23:32):
Oh, that's all that mattered. My, my coffee and my
raisin toast?
KT (23:36):
Yes.
Suze (23:37):
All right, all right, so everybody, that's it. You get
a break from us right now. So until...
KT (23:42):
It's called a sunrise shorty today.
Suze (23:45):
So until Sunday. There's only one thing that I want
you to remember when it comes to your money. What
is that KT?
KT (23:51):
People first, then money, then things.
Suze (23:54):
Now you stay safe. Bye bye.
We are
(00:28):
July 10, 2025. Welcome everybody to the Women and Money podcast.
KT (00:35):
Everyone smart enough to listen.
Suze (00:38):
Are you all taking advantage of the Alliant Credit Union
12 month CD offer? You should go to myalliant.com
and 12 month one year CD is at 4.3 APY
and it's only for Suze listeners so special just for
(01:00):
you so you best take advantage of it all right KT.
KT (01:05):
All right, my first question is from Caitlin. Hi Suze.
Suze (01:09):
Like Caitlin Clark. Oh,
KT (01:12):
Suze loves Caitlin Clark. Everyone loves Caitlin Clark. She changed
the whole face of women's basketball, didn't she?
Suze (01:18):
I love women's basketball.
KT (01:22):
I never liked it until she came on board because
I found it to be slow and boring compared to men, but she is extraordinary.
Suze (01:28):
Everyone should be grateful to her. And all the people that keep
pushing her and knocking her down.
You don't want her out of the game. You don't
want that.
KT (01:37):
Don't hurt our girl...
Suze (01:38):
Don't do that.
KT (01:39):
OK, so from Caitlin. Hi Suze, is there a relationship
between oil and the stock market?
Suze (01:46):
It depends, KT. Sometimes people think there's like this inverse
relationship between the stock market and oil, so they kind
of think that when oil prices go up, then the
stock market goes down and vice versa.
And that logic is just very simple, but it isn't true.
They think higher oil equals higher cost for companies, which
(02:09):
means lower profits and da da da, but history doesn't
back that up on any level. Sometimes they rise together.
Because a strong economy, KT can also like increase the
demand for oil, so for shipping, travel, manufacturing, all those
things in a strong economy can also boost corporate earnings,
(02:30):
lifting stock prices up. So like in 2006 and 2007
you're going to yell at me for going on too
long about this simple question, but oil prices, do you
remember this, they rose so sharply.
And the S&P 500 index was also just totally... It
was skyrocketing. Why? Because the economy was roaring.
(02:55):
So they both were doing well...
KT (02:57):
Is that when the price of gas was like over the... off the charts?
Suze (03:01):
Off the charts.
KT (03:02):
like 4 or $5
Suze (03:04):
But sometimes KT they go in opposite directions. In 2011,
do you remember when all this unrest was in the
Middle East and it pushed up oil so much and
then stocks pulled back temporarily, but it was always just temporarily.
So here's the bottom line that was a very long
(03:25):
answer to no. Oil and stocks aren't consistently inverse or together.
It all depends on what's going on, all right, just
that simple.
KT (03:37):
OK, next question is from Anita and I think that
many people listening may find themselves in this dilemma. She
said hello Suze Orman.
I am 68. I lost my partner after he retired
and passed 4 years ago. I made so many financial
mistakes trying to do the right thing, maybe the old
(04:00):
fashioned way.
In 2022 I was told the interest rate was increasing,
the housing prices would decrease, and I would be in trouble,
so I sold and entered the worst time to rent
before trying to buy again.
So now let me give everyone a little backstory here.
(04:22):
Anita has two children, one is in California, one is
in Washington state, and she's weighing in that if she
was to buy a home in California, for instance, she
said she can put 20% down on a half plex
that needs to be remodeled in a nice lakeside community,
(04:45):
a little remote for under 400. All right, ready?
Or I can buy a newer one that is a
tight duplex for over 400 in Washington state where prices
are increasing and most homes are over 550, she said,
and it rains a lot there, so she said, any thoughts?
(05:06):
Should I continue to rent and continue to wait until
the economy changes or do something?
So she's renting and paying in rent more than what
her mortgage payment was on a house she sold, but
kind of kicking herself.
Suze (05:21):
You can't kick yourself, you know, there's a lot of
money which is you cannot look at what you had.
You have to look at what you have comparing to
something that was years ago versus now just makes no
sense because everything has gone up so much in value.
Here's the thing.
(05:42):
You know you lost your partner four years ago and
sometimes and that's why I always say to everybody that
you are to do nothing other than to stay safe
and sound for at least six months to one year,
preferably two years after you have suffered the loss of
a loved one because when you do make a move,
(06:03):
it's a move like this and you made a mistake.
But all right, you made a mistake. You now can't
afford to make another one.
So Anita, you really need to ask yourself the question,
do you like where you're living right now? Forget about
what you're spending versus what you used to spend. Can
you afford renting? Because trust me, renting has its advantages
(06:27):
as well. When something breaks, you need a new refrigerator,
whatever it is, you don't have to fix anything. You
are not responsible for anything, so you are now 68.
And you will get older and older and some... hopefully
and hopefully and sometimes owning a home is a big deal.
(06:50):
Also when you buy a home, you never quite know
what you are really buying. Like does it leak? Will
the plumbing need to be replaced? All of these things.
So first question you have to ask and answer yourself.
Do you like where you're renting?
Can you afford it comfortably?
(07:10):
And if so, continue to rent. You don't have to
make a decision because your rent is more than what
your mortgage payment was years ago. That's number one. Number two,
you really need to think about where you want to
move all right? And besides the house, is it in
(07:32):
an area that it's walkable, it's easy for health care
there's a community what is the maintenance? What are your
neighbors like? You need to
look at all of those things because if it's a
duplex you're going to have somebody living next door to
you and you're gonna hear them going up and down
the stairs maybe they have kids, maybe they play their
(07:53):
music loud, so you really really need to think about
that OK. Also you need to understand what's happening with weather.
When you own something and you don't own it outright,
you do a mortgage on it all right, you're gonna
have to have property insurance and property insurance today is
(08:18):
so much more than it was when you owned your
other house. I can't even tell. You so can you
really afford what it's gonna cost you to live in
this house property taxes, insurance, maintenance and everything.
I'm not sure that you should absolutely do this all
(08:40):
at once, all right? Just feels like you're rushing and
thinking if you buy something now, it will take away
the mistake you made then.
Look at what you have, not at what you had.
Right now, you have a lot of money making a
good interest that you could invest and make even more money,
(09:01):
and maybe that's better than owning a
home.
KT (09:04):
All right. Suze, I currently have a revocable trust created
by an attorney. I am 60 but created this 10
years ago.
I want to make changes, but the attorney wants, ready...
$6000 to do that. Can I use your must-have document
program to create a new trust that will supersede the
(09:28):
prior one?
Not complicated, but something that you absolutely can do by
yourself on your own and save $6000.
Suze (09:37):
Yeah, I think $99 to buy it.
KT (09:40):
Must have documents...
Suze (09:41):
would be, yeah, would be easy. So go to must-havedocs.com
and take a look. All right, go on, KT.
KT (09:47):
OK, next question is from Mandy. My husband and I
both have individual HSAs, health savings accounts that are just sitting.
We are currently maxing each year in our family plan.
What is your advice on investing the funds in the
HSA rather than letting it sit earning pennies on the
(10:08):
dollar?
Suze (10:08):
Oh, you should absolutely invest it. Every HSA, health savings account,
comes with investments, whether they're 1000 of them, 15 of them, whatever.
Contact your
company, see what you can invest in, and you should
be investing. All right, go on KT.
KT (10:25):
OK, this next one is another spicy question. I love these.
This one's really good. This is from Michelle. She said,
hi Suze. She is 25 and he is 24.
Suze (10:38):
That's how she opens this email?
KT (10:40):
Yes, ma'am. Here is a little more background of the
pickle I've gotten myself into. My son was a senior
in high school when COVID hit. Real bummer for his
senior year. He went to college in the fall and
all his classes turned into online classes, which didn't work
for him. He didn't pass any classes and he moved home.
(11:02):
When he moved home, he got a job, built up
his savings. When he was ready to go back to school,
he decided to go to where my daughter had just
graduated and move into the house that I bought as
an investment while she was in school.
And Michelle goes on to tell us it was a
good investment. I've rented rooms to students that covers the
(11:24):
mortgage and my kid while going to school didn't have
to pay rent. Good. So Michelle did well with her daughter.
Suze (11:31):
Then what happened?
KT (11:32):
Then soon thereafter, his girlfriend wanted to move in with him.
She was living in our hometown, which is three hours away.
I should have done my due diligence, but since she
is my son's girlfriend, I said, OK. She signed a
lease agreement and was supposed to pay rent, but with
(11:53):
just sporadic jobs and other bills to pay, I've only
received sporadic rent payments. She's a good talker and makes
plans to get back on track with every job. As
of now she owes me over $4000 in back rent.
I found out she borrowed money from my son to
(12:16):
help pay her bills. His nest egg is now gone,
and she's borrowed from other people too. It's an ugly
situation and hard on our family because it's my son's girlfriend.
If it was any other renter, they would have been
out of the house a long time ago. So Michelle
(12:37):
goes on to tell us she's a person who has
all sorts of big plans traveling, retiring early, etc., but
doesn't hold a job and has no money. I want
to give her something that could help her be realistic
and kick her into gear. I kick her somewhere else, Suze,
(12:57):
but I think that Michelle.
Is, um,
Suze (13:00):
I know exactly what she's
saying
KT (13:01):
She's saying...
Suze (13:02):
I know exactly what I would tell Michelle.
I don't care about this girl.
KT (13:08):
I don't think Michelle wants a daughter-in-law.
Suze (13:10):
Wait, listen to me. I care about her son, and
her son is obviously making very bad choices right now.
And since this is her son's girlfriend.
I would tell them they both have to leave. Oh,
I would say to both of them I would sit
them down and I would say I am owed $4000
(13:34):
in back rent. You, this woman, I would say, whatever
her son's name is, I allowed your girlfriend to live
here because I love you so much, but I don't
love you enough to be down $4000. Therefore, the two
of you need to leave.
So that I can get rent for both of your
(13:56):
places and make up for the $4000 deficit so you
have 30 days to both be out of here.
KT (14:05):
And find your own place to live and figure it out.
Suze (14:08):
And that's it, right? And I'm not going back on this.
This is how it is. You have to take responsibility
that you are in a relationship with somebody who has
been totally irresponsible, and I would say this in front
of her.
Therefore, if this is what you are choosing, then you
have to choose to stick by her side and leave
(14:29):
with her. You have 30 days to get out, and
that is exactly what I would say.
KT (14:35):
I love that. That's great, great advice.
Suze (14:37):
That is exactly what I would say.
KT (14:40):
I love that. Yeah, good, Michelle, do it.
Suze (14:43):
Now, Michelle, it's gonna be very hard for you to
do that because it's your son.
But if you don't kick your son into common sense gear,
he's gonna possibly get this woman pregnant. He's possibly going
to end up having to marry her. He's never gonna
have any money. That will be the biggest regret of
his life, not your life necessarily, but his life.
(15:07):
Kick it out now, or I'm telling you your son
is going to pay. He obviously can't say no to her.
Because he gave her all of his savings, are you
kidding me? He's got to leave and figure out how
to do it on his own now, just that simple.
And when he says, no, no, Mom, mom, really will
(15:28):
come up with the money and say, sorry, my mind
is made up. Both of you have to go. That's
it.
KT (15:34):
If you can come up with that money, then that's
plenty of money for you to rent elsewhere. Be stern
and strict.
Suze (15:42):
Then, if he says, but what if she goes and
I stay? Sorry.
Right, you want to do that to your girlfriend. Why
would you want to do that to your girlfriend? You
can't do that to your girlfriend unless you break up
with your girlfriend. So you should just be really straight
with him. This is going to be the hardest thing
you've ever had to do, but guess what? I have
a feeling. Think about that $4000. Think about what you're
(16:04):
saving your son from, and you can do it.
KT (16:08):
So Suze, this is my last question. This is gonna be a short...
Suze (16:11):
What do you mean it's your last question?
KT (16:12):
It's the middle of July. I'm doing a summer shorty today. Why?
It is the most gorgeous day on Earth, and I'm
taking Suze for a boat ride. Everyone, I'm taking her
for a boat breakfast adventure, and that's all I'm gonna
tell her. So here's my last question. Dear Suze...
Suze (16:33):
You should see my face, everybody. All right, go on.
KT (16:37):
Um, uh, I like this question. Thank you for all
you and KT do. I handle the finances for our family,
and I so appreciate everything I've learned from you. I
hope you might be able to help me with this question,
and this is from Lynn. She said, My daughter and
her partner are about to have their first child.
(16:58):
They are each taking two months unpaid leave. Our daughter
will then return to her freelance work, and our daughter-in-law
will begin nursing school. They are both admirable young people.
They're asking for our help, paying for child care beginning
in January, perhaps $1500 a month.
(17:20):
This is something we can afford to do, and we
have been very generous and helpful in the past. Where
I stumble is in the feeling that they should be
living within their means and wondering what we are teaching
them by being so generous. I'd love to know your
thoughts sincerely, Lynn.
Suze (17:41):
So KT, this one's a little confusing to me, right?
KT (17:46):
I don't think it's confusing at all.
Suze (17:48):
Well, it's confusing to me...
KT (17:50):
Lynn and her husband clearly have, you know, plenty of money.
And they have been very generous to their children, obviously,
she said we've been very generous in the past and
we would like to continue helping them. We can afford
to help them, but her dilemma is that she is
(18:10):
a Suze student.
And she's asking you this question; am I hurting by
helping or am I helping by hurting?
Suze (18:20):
I understood that when you read it, KT but this...
Lynn is having issues with money, right? You can just,
you just, just feel it. So Lynn, the real question
is why, what's going on in your life that you
feel like all of a sudden you wanna pull back here.
(18:41):
Because if you feel like the fact that you even
asked me this question "where I stumble is in feeling
that they should be living within their means," says to
me that they're living a really great lifestyle on your
money and you don't like it and therefore I think
(19:04):
did they just assume when they had their child that
you were going to take care of it?
Did they not have a plan of what it would
actually cost them to do so, and are they just
taking it for granted that you're going to step in
and give them $1500 a month? What KT?
KT (19:24):
Well, if you take a look at this carefully, one
of the girls is going back to nursing school. The
other one is going back to freelancing. They obviously can't afford.
To both go to work and have a child.
Suze (19:42):
Well, didn't they think about that before they had a child?
Because it's not like, I mean, with the due respect,
and I can say this, it's two women. It's like
they tried to get pregnant. It's not like it just
happened and now all of a sudden one of them
is pregnant, right, which can happen and seriously between a
man and a woman, and now you're pregnant, what are
(20:03):
you gonna do?
Here these two they planned the child, but they did
not plan how to pay for the child and I
think where Lynn is feeling a little bit upset.
Is that now it's almost as if they don't have
a choice. They're asking for her help to pay for
(20:27):
child care beginning in perhaps the $1500 a month.
KT (20:32):
So they're asking...
Suze (20:33):
Here's what I don't understand why are they each taking
two months of unpaid leave? That's what I would be
upset about.
Why doesn't just one take leave the mother that had
the baby and the other one should continue working to
make money to save that money to pay for child
(20:57):
care when the other one has to go back to
wherever they're going back to because I don't know which one...
KT (21:02):
We don't know which, yeah, we don't know which one...
Suze (21:05):
So, I have to tell you, Lynn, I would have
a serious talk with them.
And I would have a talk with them. Who did
you think was going to pay for this when you
decided to have a child? Why are you both taking leave?
Like how can we cut your expenses so that in
fact you can afford to pay for childcare. There's more
(21:26):
going on. I'm so sorry. I don't know what else
Lynn is dealing with.
KT (21:30):
I think Lynn feels like she is a bank instead
of a grandmother.
Suze (21:37):
That's actually a great idea, KT.
If Lynn feels like she's a bank, then she needs
to act like a bank, and if she decides that
she's going to help them with $1500 a month, it
needs to be a loan, not a gift, and she
should have a contract drawn up seriously where when our
(22:01):
payments due on this loan.
And at what interest rate and they both need to
sign it. It needs to be like a legal contract.
And that Lynn maybe will give them two years to
start making payments on it.
Right, because in that period of time it's gonna be
(22:22):
like $36,000 Lynn, that you will have paid for them
and so then I would take that $36,000 and I
would demand payments on it over X amount of years,
maybe over the next five years they need to pay
that back to you, but whatever feels good to you,
(22:43):
but seriously you need to have a talk with them
and then you decide.
But they planned to have a child, but they didn't
plan to pay for the child, and they just assumed
you were going to. What have you done in your
relationship with them that allowed them to even think that way?
(23:03):
How did you create this situation? Just something for you
to think about, you know, Lynn sounds like somebody who
she always steps in to help somebody who's in need.
Just sounds that way to me anyway.
That's it, huh, KT?
KT (23:18):
I think that's a wrap, Suze.
Suze (23:20):
Where are we going?
KT (23:21):
I'm taking you for a great adventure.
Suze (23:23):
I'm the one who drives the boat.
KT (23:25):
You will drive, but I'm taking you to the destination.
Suze (23:28):
And you have it in mind?
KT (23:30):
Yes.
Suze (23:30):
Are you bringing food?
KT (23:32):
Yes.
Suze (23:32):
Oh, that's all that mattered. My, my coffee and my
raisin toast?
KT (23:36):
Yes.
Suze (23:37):
All right, all right, so everybody, that's it. You get
a break from us right now. So until...
KT (23:42):
It's called a sunrise shorty today.
Suze (23:45):
So until Sunday. There's only one thing that I want
you to remember when it comes to your money. What
is that KT?
KT (23:51):
People first, then money, then things.
Suze (23:54):
Now you stay safe. Bye bye.
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