January 29, 2025 • 33 mins
Stacey Tisdale & Lazetta Braxton on 'Change Your Mind, Change Your Money' + more
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
What's up Its way up with Angela Yee. It's a
Wealth Wednesday. So of course my Wealth Wednesday partner, Stacy
Tuesday is here.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Happy Wealth Wednesdays everybody.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
It's the last. This is the last Wednesday of the year,
the month of the year, of the month it is.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
It's a tough one for a lot of people.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
This is the week that some of our New Year's
resolutions tend to get a little week. We're almost at
the end of dry January. People see the finish line
and now it's when they need a little bit of support.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Yes, and today's also Chinese New Year. I just want
to put that out there, the Lunar New Year, the
Year of the Snake.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Yes, it appears to be that, all right.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Well, we also have with us Lazetta Braxton and you're
a financial planner, a wealth manager. Yes, also things that
we all striving toward. By the way, and I was like,
we have to talk, you know, after all this. But
you and Stacy actually have a program together.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
Yes, we created Change your Mind, Change Your Money, which
is a mentoring program and also a course, and it
came out of Lazetta and I'm meeting probably about ten
years ago. When I was speaking at the Financial Planning Association,
and I know each week we bring you a lot
of different stuff. Just a little bit on how that
(01:19):
all came about is I've been a financial journalist for
over twenty five years, and I just had the pleasure
of working at the top news organizations in the world,
and that gave me a really unique vantage point to
see how people relate to money.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
And I got really.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
Frustrated by how I saw people struggle with money. Few
things work as simply right. Don't spend more than you have,
don't borrow more than you can afford to pay back,
don't in best more than you can weer to lose.
But money a leading cause of depression, a leading cause
of substance abuse, divorce. Clearly a lot more going on
there than dollars and cents. And I could also see
the financial media, the financial services industry, and at the
(01:59):
time the Susi Ormonds of the day put that I'm
sorry to put that. I don't mean to put that
out there in a negative way, but the way they
were teaching people about money landed in a big shame
dynamic like you should be doing this, or you're not,
or you're not this, and I could see people weren't
doing it more specifically myself included. Okay, so I went
(02:21):
on what I had no idea was going to be
a six year research project into what drives financial behavior.
And there is a lot of financial planners that were
starting to acknowledge the fact that when they're talking to
their clients, at some point, you're not talking about money anymore,
and they don't have.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
The skills to deal with that.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
So had those people for mentors also and just was
able to see that the problem is that when we
have trouble with numbers, we go straight to the numbers.
I have to earn more, save more, spend less. But
the real causes of our financial experience have got nothing
to do with numbers. It has to do with what
we believe about ourselves. It has to do with the
(02:59):
way ways in which we learned about money, and most
important has to do with us not knowing how to
manage that.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
So I will let Lizetta speak.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
But I'm so happy there's so many people out there
talking about the importance of mindset. Yeah, there's also it's
a skill, it's a science, it's there's real techniques that
help you actually shift your mindset. And I'm glad we're
talking about this when resolutions are fading, because willpower will
get you there about sixty percent of the time. It's
really about rewiring your perspective. And Lizette is one of
(03:32):
the few financial planners that I know that actually integrates
that into how she plans for people.
Speaker 4 (03:38):
Well, first, I want to say thank you Stacy for
your work as a journalist, because there's so much false
information that's that's out there, and there's also a lot
of information that is not clearly communicated based on what
a financial plan really looks like.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Okay, so I.
Speaker 4 (03:56):
Want to kind of start with the whole concept of
a financial plan. It's e to get the information online
and you got to cipher through to make sure it
makes sense. And then the next step of that is
when you get this information.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
What do you do with it it?
Speaker 4 (04:10):
It feels so overwhelming, and as a financial planner, not
just a financial advisor, a financial planner, and I have
to emphasize the planning part because the planning is also
the implementation. Okay, I'm walking hand in hand with my clients.
I mean, they're inviting me into their bedroom, money talk
conversations that's usually where it has or even money conversations
(04:32):
that could be arguments as well too. So I love
the concept of no fear, no shame zone when it
comes to having these important money conversations with people who
understand the basic ins and outs of how money works,
how it integrates, and your decision making, how these resources
(04:55):
support your life. And for me, I'm on this journey
of real wealth where we are allotting mission, your goals,
your mind, and your money as well too.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
And there's.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
To me, money's greatest gift is that it can really
reflect back to you where you are and are not
living in step with who you are and most people,
if you align your finances to what's really important to you,
not what you see on TV should be important to you,
not what society's telling you is important to you, it
will you will tend to have enough. And one of
(05:33):
the founders of this form of financial planning, which is
called life planning, is George Kender. I was talking to
him the other day and he told me a story.
So years ago a black woman walked into his office
and she said was very upset, and she said, I
need to save a million dollars. I need to save
a million dollars and he's like okay, and he's like,
what do you do. She said, she's a doctor, so
(05:54):
he said, okay, maybe saving a million dollars isn't that much.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Out of the question.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
So he asked her about her medical practice, and she
worked in clinics and low income neighborhoods and sometimes she'd
go abroad, and that's where he saw the disconnect. He's like,
a million do this doesn't sound like someone who a
million dollars is really that important too, if you look
at what she's doing with her work. So he started
asking her questions about her life. We'll get into this
(06:22):
different type of conditioning later, but it turns out she
lived with her boyfriend, who was a white male stockbroker,
so a lot of conditioning buttons go off, and you know,
he's white, he's male, so believe it or not, in
the back of our minds, he knows a lot about money.
He was a stockbroker broker for goodness sake, and he
(06:46):
had was very fond of saying it takes a million
dollars to raise a child these days. It takes a
million dollars to raise a child these days. Did she
want a million dollars. No, she wanted at the baby
and you saw that in one second. And it's amazing
how when you're in it you don't see it and
he points. You know, they had that aha moment, and
(07:08):
then he talked to her about what's really what values
are important to her to raising a child. They listed
them out and it was a lot less than a
million dollars, so, you know, would put her on a
financial plan, put her in a community of women and money.
And he saw her a few years later and she
was walking down the street with the baby carriage and
(07:30):
a different boyfriend.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
Solve the right problem, right, get rid of him, and then,
you know, I want to talk a little bit about
more about that because I was talking to one of
my friends the other day and she was like, look,
I don't want to be rich. I just want to
like be okay and have everything taken care of. But
(07:54):
I also feel like there's nothing wrong with wanting nothing
to be rich, but for some and I feel like
we're also conditioned to believe that we should be fine
with just being okay.
Speaker 4 (08:05):
My take on it is kind of know you're enough,
and the enough is different for everyone, So what does
being rich mean that could mean a certain dollar amount
five million, ten million, less than that, or it could
be the quality of life you're living that doesn't require
the five million or the ten million. So I would
(08:26):
be kind of leery about putting a certain dollar amount,
as you talked about before, to the concept of what
feels rich and what feels wealthy.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
Because she was reading I gave her the book You
Deserve to be Rich from Earn your leisure, and that's
why we even had the conversation. But before, like, I
also feel like I don't want to put a limitation
on what I could achieve or strive for financially, because
sometimes people equate having money with being evil.
Speaker 3 (08:55):
If that's that's a that's a script, like that's you know,
one of the social scripts that we're talking about. Step
one in any financial process, financial planning process is to
get a real visceral connection to what your priorities are.
Think about these three questions called the Kinder questions. If
(09:16):
you had all the money in the world, Angela, money
was never going to be a problem. You're an Oprah rich,
you don't even people are doing stuff, You don't have
to think about money at all.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
What are you doing with your life and your time.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Well, I would love to do a lot of philanthropy,
and so my goal is to be able. I like
the idea of being able to make money, to help
other people make money, and to help other people, you know,
do great work, because I know how hard it is
to be an entrepreneur and to raise money for myself.
It's been really hard to pursue certain things that I want,
and so I would like to be in a position
(09:52):
to be able to give grants, especially with the federal
government right now putting all of that in question. But
I would love to be able to help out people
that I see who are doing amazing work, who are smart,
who are motivated, but just don't have the access to capital.
And so that's one thing that I would love to
be able to do. I mean, even things that I
do in my spare time, like being in Memphis has
say do Children's Hospital and seeing what they do there
(10:15):
for kids who have childhood cancer or sickle cell anemia,
and how they are able to sickle cell disease, how
they're able to let them you know, be in the hospital,
put their families up, have a place to stay. And
I have to worry about paying for a thing. If
I had all the money in the world, I'd be
trying to just help people that need it.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
Question number two. You've gone to the doctor and you
find out you have five to ten years left to live.
You're not good and you're not going to be sick.
It's going to be quick. If you had five to
ten years left to live, how would you change your life?
Where would you be, what would you be doing, Who
would you be with?
Speaker 1 (10:52):
Well, I would probably at some point in my life,
I want to do this anyway, Go live on an
island somewhere and be in, you know, be outside and
experience like warm weather all year round and the sun,
and enjoy myself and write a book and tell it all.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
Third and final Okay, tell me yes.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
Third and final question. You go back to this doctor.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
We don't like this doctor very much, and he says, Angela,
this is it. This is your last day on earth.
The question is not what you would do. The question
is what are your regrets? What are you sorry you
didn't do my regrets? I don't know if I have
a lot of regrets. You found out today's your last day.
(11:36):
What do you sorry you didn't do?
Speaker 1 (11:41):
I don't know if I feel like I'm sorry, I
didn't do anything. Okay, that's good, you know, because I
have been trying to set myself up just even like
to be able to take care of people around me,
so that when I am no longer here, that I
have other people taking care of It.
Speaker 3 (11:57):
Might be in that book, it might be a little
bit in that wanting to live somewhere else. But you
see how starting the process, like starting your financial planning process,
like that, you really clarify what's important to people.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
And then if you look at your.
Speaker 3 (12:13):
Life, a lot of us spend a lot of time
and money on things that aren't authentically important to us.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Yeah, I know I do.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
So why do we do that?
Speaker 3 (12:21):
And that's money scripts and money scripts are just like
actors follow scripts. Money scripts are unconscious beliefs that we have.
We don't know about what they run the show unless
you're aware of them.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
But my financial planner has something to say.
Speaker 4 (12:37):
I'm gonna tell you what jumped out at me. My
women who are always putting other people first. And I
love the questions that you ask because it does refine
what's important to you. And I have seen my responsibility
of the permission. Work the permission when you said earlier
(12:57):
about to say the things that I want and center
those because that allows you to live more freely and
a bundly when you're taking care of yourself, and also overflow,
let your cup overflow to take care of others.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
So what I didn't hear you say?
Speaker 4 (13:13):
I mean, I heard the island, but then I heard
you go back to say, I want to make sure
everybody is good. Do you feel in terms of that
last you know, if you only had the year left
or two years or three years left, did you really
fill out your list of things that you want based
on giving your own self permission?
Speaker 1 (13:35):
I would say, I mean, of course not. It's hard
to do because I feel like every day I'm working.
Like I said, I work seven days a week, sometimes
thirty days a month. You know, even when I'm not
here at work on the weekends, I'm doing things in
other markets. I'm always I feel like handling that, But
that's me trying to set it up for later so
that I don't have to do it, you know, later
(13:56):
on in life. And I think one of my biggest
problems has always been you know how they always say
work smarter, not harder. But I feel like I'm just
working harder and harder, and I feel like I have
to be present a lot of times to get things done,
and you know, even partnering with people and doing things
like this year twenty twenty five, and we talk about
this being the year the Snake. I know, I said
(14:16):
that it's lunar new year, but part of what it is,
right is that you're supposed to like clear things out
of the way so you can clearly see, like what
you know, you need to chop off that head of
the snake, and what's in the grass, what's hidden in
the grass, and just kind of clear all of that out.
And what I decided I wanted to do this year
in particular, was to stop doing things that are not
good for me. Like, like my boyfriend thinks that I
(14:38):
spend way too much time trying to help other people
and do things for people and like give a lot
of excuses for other people instead of saying this is
just not good, I have to cut it off. And
I'm always like trying to keep on doing things, and
I'm really bad at saying this didn't work, let's move on.
And so I want to really like try to close
out chapters that are just not beneficial to me, that
(14:59):
just stress me out, that really just don't deserve that energy.
Speaker 3 (15:02):
It doesn't sound like it, but a limiting belief myself included.
I struggle with that a lot of entrepreneurs have, is
that I have to work harder, I have to grind
in order to be successful.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
It's just it's a very limiting belief.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
That's why it's so important to be aware of kind
of your why. Like I hear, there's so much in
there about giving back. There's so much in there about
what you know, feeling responsible, and you know, those are
the things we have to examine. I don't know why
this just came to mind, but I was speaking at
Rider University, and when I was done, a Chinese girl
came up to me and she was in tears.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
And I was like, was my speech that bad?
Speaker 3 (15:41):
And she's like no, She's like I just got accepted
into Harvard Business School. And I was like, well, now,
I really don't know why you're crying. And in her culture,
debt of any kind, any kind, any kind is considered
a character statement, a very negative, negative character statement, so
her family had been you know, student laws, are you
(16:01):
kidding me, you know, if you're not taking out any
debt and had really she'd really internalized it and felt
like there was something wrong with her and it was
affecting her self esteem and self confidence. And when we
looked at cultural scripting that those cultural messages, she finally
had a way to reframe it that, oh, this is
my parents belief because of their culture. It's not something
I have to internalize. And she finally had another way
(16:24):
of looking at it. So it's really getting clear on
what messages are playing. The very first thing I ever
did with Angela when I came on and showed that
she was co hosting and talked about the conditioning in
the black community. That message we tell ourselves that you
need to be rich to invest, and that I get
(16:46):
where it comes from. If you I get why we
don't trust financial systems, if they you know how they've
treated us historically. I get that there used to be entry,
you know, barriers, you had to have money to invest,
but technology changed all that. But we're still so stuck
on the you have to be rich to invest, investing
us for the rich that we don't see what that's
(17:10):
costing us. So it's really you know, being aware of
what messages are in play.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
Women. Huh.
Speaker 3 (17:18):
We're talking a lot about financial planning, we talk a
lot about investing, we talk a lot about all those
sorts of things, but quite frankly, most of your financial
outcomes happen in a moment. Well, I'll start with men.
Eighty percent of men negotiate their first salary. Men have
been conditioned, We're talking about scripted since the beginning of
time to provide and protect. Seven percent of women negotiate
(17:42):
their first salary salary. Women actually get their sense of
self more from nurturing. And we're a condition I mean
because society pays us less for doing the same thing.
We're not conditioned to advocate for ourselves financially, Not negotiating
your first salary cost you eight hundred and fifty thousand
dollars over the course of a career. Now imagine that invested.
(18:05):
So women take time out of work for elder care,
for childcare, So our social security benefits are less, our
retirement funds are less. Eighty nine percent of poverty stricken
elderly are women. It's because in that moment, if we
would have negotiated that salary, it would have been a
completely different outcome. So the point of our work is
(18:28):
when you're in that moment to have enough self awareness
to know, oh, I got to watch out for that
pattern and do something differently, your willingness to do something differently,
and once I help you see what your limiting beliefs are,
those limiting patterns are, and let you rewrite your own story.
Lizetta knows how to put it into a financial plan.
Speaker 4 (18:50):
And I love our partnership because it's anchored in human capital.
I mean, most of us do not have the opportunity
to have money just passed down to us start our businesses,
to buy our new home, to you have the sabbatical
and tour Europe for you know, a whole year, the
leap year. So the work on understanding those scripts, realizing
(19:13):
that you are your biggest asset, your human capital, what
you bring to the table, and how to use what
you bring to the table and align that with the
money that you're currently making to come up with this plan. Now,
the areas of financial planning goals, A lot of that
is done in Stacy's work. The mindset, A lot of
(19:33):
that is done in Stacy's work. And then I get
to bring in those goals, those values, those new beliefs
that she's helped open up to carve into looking at
tax planning, investments, retirement planning, college planning, if you decide
to have children, or if you want to go back yourself,
(19:54):
insurance planning, life stages, whether you want to get married,
expand your families, people are going through the Great divorce.
It's very comprehensive in its approach to the technical aspects
of financial planning, but what it's anchored in is the
life and legacy you desire and you deserve, and also
(20:17):
as a part of the planning, add in space planning
as well too, that is, how do you direct your
resources so that you can have swapping out your money
for your time as well too. So in the partnership
it opens up putting everything on the table, reshifting things
that no longer serve you, as you said in terms
(20:37):
of the year of the stay, setting up the boundaries
so that you're free to focus on you as being
the asset for major investments, and then making those wise
decisions technically about how to invest in your retirement account
and your brokerage account and your five twenty nine account.
If you have children and are your state planning document?
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Are they done?
Speaker 4 (21:01):
Can you use your employee benefits to help you get
the assistance you need? So I appreciate the holistic aspect
of looking at your life centering you.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
We worked with a young woman last year.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
I think a lot of people are feeling this, and
in my time with her, I realized how much her
fear that she was going to be financially responsible for
her parents was playing out in all of her financial choices.
She had these goals, she didn't quite work towards them,
and that she knew out of there's three siblings, and
(21:36):
she felt that she was really going to be the
one to have to take care of her parents financially.
I know a lot of people out there are feeling
that right now, and it was really making her make
some fear based not great decisions. It took us about
a month to get to that, and when we saw it,
it was like, Okay, this is what's going on, this
is what she really wants to do. How do you
(21:56):
put that into a financial plan? Worried about your parents?
Financeancial security a great thing that people do in France.
When you buy a house, you have to buy a
life insurance policy. For the same amount of the house.
That's a technical step you can take to provide, you know,
to take care of that financial security part for your family.
Angela and I have our baby project right now, Wealth
(22:20):
Wednesday's Real Estate Club. Our partners saym has retired both
of his parents by okay, let me make some investments
that it just goes to take. You know, the return
is to take care of them in their late stage
life and for retirement. When you really understand what's going
on inside, you can.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
Make those choices.
Speaker 3 (22:40):
And we also, just as are called, you know, human beings.
Very few of us understand how we actually change behavior,
change mindset. And that's a you know, goes into a science,
a little bit of science. But that's something else that
we teach people.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
You know, Lizzide, I want to ask you this as
a financial planner for people who maybe don't have any
extra money and are living tech to tchech or maybe
even in debt, how does that help somebody like that?
Because we've talked about a lot of things, and I
know for a lot of people, they're like, I don't
even have any money to be thinking about that. I'm
(23:18):
just trying to survive.
Speaker 4 (23:20):
That's real, right, And what Stacy said earlier is that
the numbers, they do matter as well as the mindset.
So if you have earnestly kind of works your human
capital so that you're negotiating and getting paid what you
deserve or looking for other opportunities to get that income,
(23:44):
and you've combed through your expenses, then we're back to
trade offs. What are some of the creative approaches. I mean,
you're seeing now young people stay with parents much longer
to build up money. You're also seeing older parents move
in with adult children to save money. Please don't, but
(24:07):
that's real.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
That's the mindset.
Speaker 4 (24:11):
That's real, because it's it's a sandwich generation, right, We're
caring for one another and times are getting tight, and
the creativity has to come and play. And so you have,
you know a lot of people trying to get the
side gigs on upwork and hustling and grind trying to
figure out where the money is coming from. Being true
to you, and I've also seen it work. It may
(24:35):
not be the life that you had once imagined for yourself,
but when you get to that radical acceptance and that accountability, right,
and the conversation saying I've done all that I can do,
have a sense of gratitude in what you do, have
things that energy just opens up.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
And also knowing what we really are like we're born
with everything. We need your instinct, your intuition, you know,
your ability to make decisions, and it's the change process.
It's about learning how to take direction from a different
part of yourself. We did I did a masterclass a
few months ago and this woman, you know, a middle
(25:22):
to older black women all you know, struggled a lot
of debt exactly what you're describing, and the impostor syndrome
that came with that, you know, the shame that came
with that, And it's just reminding her that that you know,
there's more to her than that. What you're talking about,
Angela is a lot of us getting that I'm grinding
I can't make it work, and you make decisions from
(25:44):
that place, and that keeps you locked in those same patterns.
What I'm trying to do is step back from that
and let your direction come from a different place. And
when she went through this process and the reality check
that she's not what these imposter syndrome messages are telling her,
She's not what the world's reflecting back to her. She
went into her HR department. She works for the Pentagon,
(26:06):
not the world's easiest HR department, and she walked out
of that meeting with a thirty thousand dollars raised within
hours after doing this masterclass. So the planning is good,
but it's really learning about how to take let all
those thoughts, beliefs, fears. They're gonna be there, but there's
more to me than that, and making your decisions from
(26:28):
that empowered place. And it's not a willpower thing. It's
not a pep talk thing. It's really knowing how to rewire.
I had my last cigarette on March eighth, twenty thirteen,
and I had my last I think alcohol a Memorial
Day five years ago. Not that I had a big
(26:50):
fight with those things, but I think you might have
heard of Alan Carr. Ellen DeGeneres made him very famous
with his book The Easy Way to Quit Smoking, because
she quit with that book after fifteen years. It's a
rewiring process. So what he actually did in both of
the books of his that I read is the truth
(27:10):
test is you know, constantly filling your mind with images
like alcohol, for example, it's a placebo effect and your
brain when you drink, it says, oh, this is how
I'm supposed to feel, and he's constantly giving you that.
Then all of a sudden, I remember, like three quarters
into it, I'd be sitting in front of glass of
wine and my brain would like they're trying to trick you,
(27:30):
just as the shift at your perspective changes and then
the behavior changes. We're not going to get into all
that now, but there's real techniques you need that work
that change your perspective and then those decisions.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
Then those things happen and it's different.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
Yeah, if there's any time it's been needed, I mean
before this, yes, always, but I think especially now, you know,
in times of turmoil, we don't know what's about to happen,
and I think the best thing you can do is
try to take control of your own personal mental well
being and financial well being.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
Yeah, Black people are an incredible study and resilience if
you look at what we've actually been through, and we
forget that sometimes and it's connecting remembering that, connecting with
that making decisions from there.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
Oh, go ahead, Liz that.
Speaker 4 (28:15):
And I'm just gonna say community and accountability is so
important because sometimes when we're stressed, you know we go
to retail therapy. Yeahs, trying to find some happy hormones
when stress is really squeezing you. And why I say,
it's so important to have community and accountability. So when
(28:36):
you make that decision, which can happen in a moment,
it's like, okay, text your girlfriend or text your sister,
text someone to say, oh, I'm just feeling right to
talk off the ledge, talk off the spending so that
you can have that cushion account, that reserve, not going
to something tangible that's not going to really help my friends.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
Be like, girl, you get it. You deserve it. So
that doesn't help you get it. You deserve it.
Speaker 2 (29:01):
You take your team, take your pick your money team.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
If you've set aside your your fun money.
Speaker 4 (29:08):
Right, if you set aside as a part of your budget,
you say X Y and Z is for family, x
Y and Z is for me, this is for my savings.
And if you've set aside that money, then sure buy
whatever you you want. That's a trade off. It's not
an either or that, it's a both in right.
Speaker 3 (29:24):
Right, Yeah, I know yourself. Saturday afternoon, I don't want
to go shopping. So accountability friend, Okay, Saturday afternoon, you
make me go out for a walk instead. None of
this stuff can be alone.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
We weren't.
Speaker 3 (29:37):
It wasn't meant to be alone. That's why it's part
of our platform, Change your Mind, Change your Money, which
if you go to Stacey Tisdale dot com, it's all there.
You can sign up for the course, you can sign
up for our mentoring program, but it's also you're put
into a community because that's actually a scientific behavior change
technique and accountability partner.
Speaker 2 (29:57):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
I love this because I've I've always talked about financial planning,
but I've never really had a financial planner, like I've
kind of handled things on my own for the most part.
I've had stockbrokers, you know, I've invested in different things,
but I've never sat down and gone over my whole
financial outlook to see what it is that I'm trying
to get. So maybe I need to go ahead and
(30:19):
go to Stacytusdale dot com.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
You have me right here.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
It's already look at everything like as far as even
like retirement plans and helping to set up a state
planning and all of that.
Speaker 3 (30:33):
Okay, based on what we know is important to you,
and it's so funny to hear you talk like that.
I think you know, I've been a journalist. I didn't
want to stop being a journalist. The media industry changed.
I don't know how to be anything else. So I'm like, okay,
I got to start my own media company. I've never
thought about entrepreneurship. I never wanted to be an entrepreneur.
(30:55):
Angela meeting Angela and the idea of wealth wins days
and her believing in it, and her now I'm starting
to think maybe it's not a good thing. I always
tell people that. That's almost like she believes it's bad
luck to not help people. But all of that you
gave me, you inspired me to be an entrepreneur. Oh good,
(31:15):
I'm glad and learning. And was also kind enough to say, Okay,
I know you don't know what you're doing, and it's uh,
learn as we go, but I mean, know who's you know, know.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
Who's around you. That's gonna make a big difference. Right.
Speaker 1 (31:29):
Well, again, where can people sign up and like find
this so they can get the information to change their
mind and change their money.
Speaker 3 (31:35):
You can go to Stacytissdale dot com and for Aulia
Stacey is ey Folks By the way, Stacey Tisdale dot com,
you can sign up for our course, our mentoring program.
You can follow me on Instagram. Follow Wealth Wednesdays on
Instagram all the informations up there, and you also get
our great newsletter. And Lizetta you can follow She's a
(31:57):
Lizetta Braxton on Instagram. But we're excited about this new chapter.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
Yeah, I'm not above saying I need help. I'm not
above it. That's the first step.
Speaker 4 (32:06):
And we welcome in partnership.
Speaker 3 (32:09):
And it's never been more important for people to create
our own economies together.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
Really, all right, I'm gonna go through these steps so
I can report on it too.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
I'm gonna and who's your weekly accountability partner?
Speaker 1 (32:20):
Because honestly, for the first time ever, I just did
a heelock and I've never done that before, and I
was like mad at myself that I had to do it.
But I'm like, why haven't I done this earlier?
Speaker 2 (32:30):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (32:31):
You know, but it's good to know. All right, Well, again,
thank you so much to Stacy, Thank you Lizeta. It
was a pleasure.
Speaker 4 (32:38):
Likewise, thank you, and I celebrate what you all are
doing with the Wealth Wednesdays because it's time for us
to secure our wealth even more.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
And oh and I meant to say this earlier. You're
one of the top ten Invescipedia's one hundred Top financial
advisors for three consecutive years, and you're also named one
of Crane's New York Business Notable Black Leaders and Executives.
So thank you for the work that you're doing. You know,
we only bring people up here they are super like,
you know, super qualified. Who we trust.
Speaker 3 (33:04):
Yes, Stuphen, Wall Street Journal, New York Times, Black Enterprise.
She's an incredible financial expert. And thank you so much
for going on your journey with me. Don't mess with this.
Speaker 2 (33:14):
I'm not mess with this.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
Happy wealth Wednesday.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
Well,
What's up Its way up with Angela Yee. It's a
Wealth Wednesday. So of course my Wealth Wednesday partner, Stacy
Tuesday is here.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Happy Wealth Wednesdays everybody.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
It's the last. This is the last Wednesday of the year,
the month of the year, of the month it is.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
It's a tough one for a lot of people.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
This is the week that some of our New Year's
resolutions tend to get a little week. We're almost at
the end of dry January. People see the finish line
and now it's when they need a little bit of support.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Yes, and today's also Chinese New Year. I just want
to put that out there, the Lunar New Year, the
Year of the Snake.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Yes, it appears to be that, all right.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Well, we also have with us Lazetta Braxton and you're
a financial planner, a wealth manager. Yes, also things that
we all striving toward. By the way, and I was like,
we have to talk, you know, after all this. But
you and Stacy actually have a program together.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
Yes, we created Change your Mind, Change Your Money, which
is a mentoring program and also a course, and it
came out of Lazetta and I'm meeting probably about ten
years ago. When I was speaking at the Financial Planning Association,
and I know each week we bring you a lot
of different stuff. Just a little bit on how that
(01:19):
all came about is I've been a financial journalist for
over twenty five years, and I just had the pleasure
of working at the top news organizations in the world,
and that gave me a really unique vantage point to
see how people relate to money.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
And I got really.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
Frustrated by how I saw people struggle with money. Few
things work as simply right. Don't spend more than you have,
don't borrow more than you can afford to pay back,
don't in best more than you can weer to lose.
But money a leading cause of depression, a leading cause
of substance abuse, divorce. Clearly a lot more going on
there than dollars and cents. And I could also see
the financial media, the financial services industry, and at the
(01:59):
time the Susi Ormonds of the day put that I'm
sorry to put that. I don't mean to put that
out there in a negative way, but the way they
were teaching people about money landed in a big shame
dynamic like you should be doing this, or you're not,
or you're not this, and I could see people weren't
doing it more specifically myself included. Okay, so I went
(02:21):
on what I had no idea was going to be
a six year research project into what drives financial behavior.
And there is a lot of financial planners that were
starting to acknowledge the fact that when they're talking to
their clients, at some point, you're not talking about money anymore,
and they don't have.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
The skills to deal with that.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
So had those people for mentors also and just was
able to see that the problem is that when we
have trouble with numbers, we go straight to the numbers.
I have to earn more, save more, spend less. But
the real causes of our financial experience have got nothing
to do with numbers. It has to do with what
we believe about ourselves. It has to do with the
(02:59):
way ways in which we learned about money, and most
important has to do with us not knowing how to
manage that.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
So I will let Lizetta speak.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
But I'm so happy there's so many people out there
talking about the importance of mindset. Yeah, there's also it's
a skill, it's a science, it's there's real techniques that
help you actually shift your mindset. And I'm glad we're
talking about this when resolutions are fading, because willpower will
get you there about sixty percent of the time. It's
really about rewiring your perspective. And Lizette is one of
(03:32):
the few financial planners that I know that actually integrates
that into how she plans for people.
Speaker 4 (03:38):
Well, first, I want to say thank you Stacy for
your work as a journalist, because there's so much false
information that's that's out there, and there's also a lot
of information that is not clearly communicated based on what
a financial plan really looks like.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Okay, so I.
Speaker 4 (03:56):
Want to kind of start with the whole concept of
a financial plan. It's e to get the information online
and you got to cipher through to make sure it
makes sense. And then the next step of that is
when you get this information.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
What do you do with it it?
Speaker 4 (04:10):
It feels so overwhelming, and as a financial planner, not
just a financial advisor, a financial planner, and I have
to emphasize the planning part because the planning is also
the implementation. Okay, I'm walking hand in hand with my clients.
I mean, they're inviting me into their bedroom, money talk
conversations that's usually where it has or even money conversations
(04:32):
that could be arguments as well too. So I love
the concept of no fear, no shame zone when it
comes to having these important money conversations with people who
understand the basic ins and outs of how money works,
how it integrates, and your decision making, how these resources
(04:55):
support your life. And for me, I'm on this journey
of real wealth where we are allotting mission, your goals,
your mind, and your money as well too.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
And there's.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
To me, money's greatest gift is that it can really
reflect back to you where you are and are not
living in step with who you are and most people,
if you align your finances to what's really important to you,
not what you see on TV should be important to you,
not what society's telling you is important to you, it
will you will tend to have enough. And one of
(05:33):
the founders of this form of financial planning, which is
called life planning, is George Kender. I was talking to
him the other day and he told me a story.
So years ago a black woman walked into his office
and she said was very upset, and she said, I
need to save a million dollars. I need to save
a million dollars and he's like okay, and he's like,
what do you do. She said, she's a doctor, so
(05:54):
he said, okay, maybe saving a million dollars isn't that much.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Out of the question.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
So he asked her about her medical practice, and she
worked in clinics and low income neighborhoods and sometimes she'd
go abroad, and that's where he saw the disconnect. He's like,
a million do this doesn't sound like someone who a
million dollars is really that important too, if you look
at what she's doing with her work. So he started
asking her questions about her life. We'll get into this
(06:22):
different type of conditioning later, but it turns out she
lived with her boyfriend, who was a white male stockbroker,
so a lot of conditioning buttons go off, and you know,
he's white, he's male, so believe it or not, in
the back of our minds, he knows a lot about money.
He was a stockbroker broker for goodness sake, and he
(06:46):
had was very fond of saying it takes a million
dollars to raise a child these days. It takes a
million dollars to raise a child these days. Did she
want a million dollars. No, she wanted at the baby
and you saw that in one second. And it's amazing
how when you're in it you don't see it and
he points. You know, they had that aha moment, and
(07:08):
then he talked to her about what's really what values
are important to her to raising a child. They listed
them out and it was a lot less than a
million dollars, so, you know, would put her on a
financial plan, put her in a community of women and money.
And he saw her a few years later and she
was walking down the street with the baby carriage and
(07:30):
a different boyfriend.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
Solve the right problem, right, get rid of him, and then,
you know, I want to talk a little bit about
more about that because I was talking to one of
my friends the other day and she was like, look,
I don't want to be rich. I just want to
like be okay and have everything taken care of. But
(07:54):
I also feel like there's nothing wrong with wanting nothing
to be rich, but for some and I feel like
we're also conditioned to believe that we should be fine
with just being okay.
Speaker 4 (08:05):
My take on it is kind of know you're enough,
and the enough is different for everyone, So what does
being rich mean that could mean a certain dollar amount
five million, ten million, less than that, or it could
be the quality of life you're living that doesn't require
the five million or the ten million. So I would
(08:26):
be kind of leery about putting a certain dollar amount,
as you talked about before, to the concept of what
feels rich and what feels wealthy.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
Because she was reading I gave her the book You
Deserve to be Rich from Earn your leisure, and that's
why we even had the conversation. But before, like, I
also feel like I don't want to put a limitation
on what I could achieve or strive for financially, because
sometimes people equate having money with being evil.
Speaker 3 (08:55):
If that's that's a that's a script, like that's you know,
one of the social scripts that we're talking about. Step
one in any financial process, financial planning process is to
get a real visceral connection to what your priorities are.
Think about these three questions called the Kinder questions. If
(09:16):
you had all the money in the world, Angela, money
was never going to be a problem. You're an Oprah rich,
you don't even people are doing stuff, You don't have
to think about money at all.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
What are you doing with your life and your time.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Well, I would love to do a lot of philanthropy,
and so my goal is to be able. I like
the idea of being able to make money, to help
other people make money, and to help other people, you know,
do great work, because I know how hard it is
to be an entrepreneur and to raise money for myself.
It's been really hard to pursue certain things that I want,
and so I would like to be in a position
(09:52):
to be able to give grants, especially with the federal
government right now putting all of that in question. But
I would love to be able to help out people
that I see who are doing amazing work, who are smart,
who are motivated, but just don't have the access to capital.
And so that's one thing that I would love to
be able to do. I mean, even things that I
do in my spare time, like being in Memphis has
say do Children's Hospital and seeing what they do there
(10:15):
for kids who have childhood cancer or sickle cell anemia,
and how they are able to sickle cell disease, how
they're able to let them you know, be in the hospital,
put their families up, have a place to stay. And
I have to worry about paying for a thing. If
I had all the money in the world, I'd be
trying to just help people that need it.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
Question number two. You've gone to the doctor and you
find out you have five to ten years left to live.
You're not good and you're not going to be sick.
It's going to be quick. If you had five to
ten years left to live, how would you change your life?
Where would you be, what would you be doing, Who
would you be with?
Speaker 1 (10:52):
Well, I would probably at some point in my life,
I want to do this anyway, Go live on an
island somewhere and be in, you know, be outside and
experience like warm weather all year round and the sun,
and enjoy myself and write a book and tell it all.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
Third and final Okay, tell me yes.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
Third and final question. You go back to this doctor.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
We don't like this doctor very much, and he says, Angela,
this is it. This is your last day on earth.
The question is not what you would do. The question
is what are your regrets? What are you sorry you
didn't do my regrets? I don't know if I have
a lot of regrets. You found out today's your last day.
(11:36):
What do you sorry you didn't do?
Speaker 1 (11:41):
I don't know if I feel like I'm sorry, I
didn't do anything. Okay, that's good, you know, because I
have been trying to set myself up just even like
to be able to take care of people around me,
so that when I am no longer here, that I
have other people taking care of It.
Speaker 3 (11:57):
Might be in that book, it might be a little
bit in that wanting to live somewhere else. But you
see how starting the process, like starting your financial planning process,
like that, you really clarify what's important to people.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
And then if you look at your.
Speaker 3 (12:13):
Life, a lot of us spend a lot of time
and money on things that aren't authentically important to us.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Yeah, I know I do.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
So why do we do that?
Speaker 3 (12:21):
And that's money scripts and money scripts are just like
actors follow scripts. Money scripts are unconscious beliefs that we have.
We don't know about what they run the show unless
you're aware of them.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
But my financial planner has something to say.
Speaker 4 (12:37):
I'm gonna tell you what jumped out at me. My
women who are always putting other people first. And I
love the questions that you ask because it does refine
what's important to you. And I have seen my responsibility
of the permission. Work the permission when you said earlier
(12:57):
about to say the things that I want and center
those because that allows you to live more freely and
a bundly when you're taking care of yourself, and also overflow,
let your cup overflow to take care of others.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
So what I didn't hear you say?
Speaker 4 (13:13):
I mean, I heard the island, but then I heard
you go back to say, I want to make sure
everybody is good. Do you feel in terms of that
last you know, if you only had the year left
or two years or three years left, did you really
fill out your list of things that you want based
on giving your own self permission?
Speaker 1 (13:35):
I would say, I mean, of course not. It's hard
to do because I feel like every day I'm working.
Like I said, I work seven days a week, sometimes
thirty days a month. You know, even when I'm not
here at work on the weekends, I'm doing things in
other markets. I'm always I feel like handling that, But
that's me trying to set it up for later so
that I don't have to do it, you know, later
(13:56):
on in life. And I think one of my biggest
problems has always been you know how they always say
work smarter, not harder. But I feel like I'm just
working harder and harder, and I feel like I have
to be present a lot of times to get things done,
and you know, even partnering with people and doing things
like this year twenty twenty five, and we talk about
this being the year the Snake. I know, I said
(14:16):
that it's lunar new year, but part of what it is,
right is that you're supposed to like clear things out
of the way so you can clearly see, like what
you know, you need to chop off that head of
the snake, and what's in the grass, what's hidden in
the grass, and just kind of clear all of that out.
And what I decided I wanted to do this year
in particular, was to stop doing things that are not
good for me. Like, like my boyfriend thinks that I
(14:38):
spend way too much time trying to help other people
and do things for people and like give a lot
of excuses for other people instead of saying this is
just not good, I have to cut it off. And
I'm always like trying to keep on doing things, and
I'm really bad at saying this didn't work, let's move on.
And so I want to really like try to close
out chapters that are just not beneficial to me, that
(14:59):
just stress me out, that really just don't deserve that energy.
Speaker 3 (15:02):
It doesn't sound like it, but a limiting belief myself included.
I struggle with that a lot of entrepreneurs have, is
that I have to work harder, I have to grind
in order to be successful.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
It's just it's a very limiting belief.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
That's why it's so important to be aware of kind
of your why. Like I hear, there's so much in
there about giving back. There's so much in there about
what you know, feeling responsible, and you know, those are
the things we have to examine. I don't know why
this just came to mind, but I was speaking at
Rider University, and when I was done, a Chinese girl
came up to me and she was in tears.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
And I was like, was my speech that bad?
Speaker 3 (15:41):
And she's like no, She's like I just got accepted
into Harvard Business School. And I was like, well, now,
I really don't know why you're crying. And in her culture,
debt of any kind, any kind, any kind is considered
a character statement, a very negative, negative character statement, so
her family had been you know, student laws, are you
(16:01):
kidding me, you know, if you're not taking out any
debt and had really she'd really internalized it and felt
like there was something wrong with her and it was
affecting her self esteem and self confidence. And when we
looked at cultural scripting that those cultural messages, she finally
had a way to reframe it that, oh, this is
my parents belief because of their culture. It's not something
I have to internalize. And she finally had another way
(16:24):
of looking at it. So it's really getting clear on
what messages are playing. The very first thing I ever
did with Angela when I came on and showed that
she was co hosting and talked about the conditioning in
the black community. That message we tell ourselves that you
need to be rich to invest, and that I get
(16:46):
where it comes from. If you I get why we
don't trust financial systems, if they you know how they've
treated us historically. I get that there used to be entry,
you know, barriers, you had to have money to invest,
but technology changed all that. But we're still so stuck
on the you have to be rich to invest, investing
us for the rich that we don't see what that's
(17:10):
costing us. So it's really you know, being aware of
what messages are in play.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
Women. Huh.
Speaker 3 (17:18):
We're talking a lot about financial planning, we talk a
lot about investing, we talk a lot about all those
sorts of things, but quite frankly, most of your financial
outcomes happen in a moment. Well, I'll start with men.
Eighty percent of men negotiate their first salary. Men have
been conditioned, We're talking about scripted since the beginning of
time to provide and protect. Seven percent of women negotiate
(17:42):
their first salary salary. Women actually get their sense of
self more from nurturing. And we're a condition I mean
because society pays us less for doing the same thing.
We're not conditioned to advocate for ourselves financially, Not negotiating
your first salary cost you eight hundred and fifty thousand
dollars over the course of a career. Now imagine that invested.
(18:05):
So women take time out of work for elder care,
for childcare, So our social security benefits are less, our
retirement funds are less. Eighty nine percent of poverty stricken
elderly are women. It's because in that moment, if we
would have negotiated that salary, it would have been a
completely different outcome. So the point of our work is
(18:28):
when you're in that moment to have enough self awareness
to know, oh, I got to watch out for that
pattern and do something differently, your willingness to do something differently,
and once I help you see what your limiting beliefs are,
those limiting patterns are, and let you rewrite your own story.
Lizetta knows how to put it into a financial plan.
Speaker 4 (18:50):
And I love our partnership because it's anchored in human capital.
I mean, most of us do not have the opportunity
to have money just passed down to us start our businesses,
to buy our new home, to you have the sabbatical
and tour Europe for you know, a whole year, the
leap year. So the work on understanding those scripts, realizing
(19:13):
that you are your biggest asset, your human capital, what
you bring to the table, and how to use what
you bring to the table and align that with the
money that you're currently making to come up with this plan. Now,
the areas of financial planning goals, A lot of that
is done in Stacy's work. The mindset, A lot of
(19:33):
that is done in Stacy's work. And then I get
to bring in those goals, those values, those new beliefs
that she's helped open up to carve into looking at
tax planning, investments, retirement planning, college planning, if you decide
to have children, or if you want to go back yourself,
(19:54):
insurance planning, life stages, whether you want to get married,
expand your families, people are going through the Great divorce.
It's very comprehensive in its approach to the technical aspects
of financial planning, but what it's anchored in is the
life and legacy you desire and you deserve, and also
(20:17):
as a part of the planning, add in space planning
as well too, that is, how do you direct your
resources so that you can have swapping out your money
for your time as well too. So in the partnership
it opens up putting everything on the table, reshifting things
that no longer serve you, as you said in terms
(20:37):
of the year of the stay, setting up the boundaries
so that you're free to focus on you as being
the asset for major investments, and then making those wise
decisions technically about how to invest in your retirement account
and your brokerage account and your five twenty nine account.
If you have children and are your state planning document?
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Are they done?
Speaker 4 (21:01):
Can you use your employee benefits to help you get
the assistance you need? So I appreciate the holistic aspect
of looking at your life centering you.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
We worked with a young woman last year.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
I think a lot of people are feeling this, and
in my time with her, I realized how much her
fear that she was going to be financially responsible for
her parents was playing out in all of her financial choices.
She had these goals, she didn't quite work towards them,
and that she knew out of there's three siblings, and
(21:36):
she felt that she was really going to be the
one to have to take care of her parents financially.
I know a lot of people out there are feeling
that right now, and it was really making her make
some fear based not great decisions. It took us about
a month to get to that, and when we saw it,
it was like, Okay, this is what's going on, this
is what she really wants to do. How do you
(21:56):
put that into a financial plan? Worried about your parents?
Financeancial security a great thing that people do in France.
When you buy a house, you have to buy a
life insurance policy. For the same amount of the house.
That's a technical step you can take to provide, you know,
to take care of that financial security part for your family.
Angela and I have our baby project right now, Wealth
(22:20):
Wednesday's Real Estate Club. Our partners saym has retired both
of his parents by okay, let me make some investments
that it just goes to take. You know, the return
is to take care of them in their late stage
life and for retirement. When you really understand what's going
on inside, you can.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
Make those choices.
Speaker 3 (22:40):
And we also, just as are called, you know, human beings.
Very few of us understand how we actually change behavior,
change mindset. And that's a you know, goes into a science,
a little bit of science. But that's something else that
we teach people.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
You know, Lizzide, I want to ask you this as
a financial planner for people who maybe don't have any
extra money and are living tech to tchech or maybe
even in debt, how does that help somebody like that?
Because we've talked about a lot of things, and I
know for a lot of people, they're like, I don't
even have any money to be thinking about that. I'm
(23:18):
just trying to survive.
Speaker 4 (23:20):
That's real, right, And what Stacy said earlier is that
the numbers, they do matter as well as the mindset.
So if you have earnestly kind of works your human
capital so that you're negotiating and getting paid what you
deserve or looking for other opportunities to get that income,
(23:44):
and you've combed through your expenses, then we're back to
trade offs. What are some of the creative approaches. I mean,
you're seeing now young people stay with parents much longer
to build up money. You're also seeing older parents move
in with adult children to save money. Please don't, but
(24:07):
that's real.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
That's the mindset.
Speaker 4 (24:11):
That's real, because it's it's a sandwich generation, right, We're
caring for one another and times are getting tight, and
the creativity has to come and play. And so you have,
you know a lot of people trying to get the
side gigs on upwork and hustling and grind trying to
figure out where the money is coming from. Being true
to you, and I've also seen it work. It may
(24:35):
not be the life that you had once imagined for yourself,
but when you get to that radical acceptance and that accountability, right,
and the conversation saying I've done all that I can do,
have a sense of gratitude in what you do, have
things that energy just opens up.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
And also knowing what we really are like we're born
with everything. We need your instinct, your intuition, you know,
your ability to make decisions, and it's the change process.
It's about learning how to take direction from a different
part of yourself. We did I did a masterclass a
few months ago and this woman, you know, a middle
(25:22):
to older black women all you know, struggled a lot
of debt exactly what you're describing, and the impostor syndrome
that came with that, you know, the shame that came
with that, And it's just reminding her that that you know,
there's more to her than that. What you're talking about,
Angela is a lot of us getting that I'm grinding
I can't make it work, and you make decisions from
(25:44):
that place, and that keeps you locked in those same patterns.
What I'm trying to do is step back from that
and let your direction come from a different place. And
when she went through this process and the reality check
that she's not what these imposter syndrome messages are telling her,
She's not what the world's reflecting back to her. She
went into her HR department. She works for the Pentagon,
(26:06):
not the world's easiest HR department, and she walked out
of that meeting with a thirty thousand dollars raised within
hours after doing this masterclass. So the planning is good,
but it's really learning about how to take let all
those thoughts, beliefs, fears. They're gonna be there, but there's
more to me than that, and making your decisions from
(26:28):
that empowered place. And it's not a willpower thing. It's
not a pep talk thing. It's really knowing how to rewire.
I had my last cigarette on March eighth, twenty thirteen,
and I had my last I think alcohol a Memorial
Day five years ago. Not that I had a big
(26:50):
fight with those things, but I think you might have
heard of Alan Carr. Ellen DeGeneres made him very famous
with his book The Easy Way to Quit Smoking, because
she quit with that book after fifteen years. It's a
rewiring process. So what he actually did in both of
the books of his that I read is the truth
(27:10):
test is you know, constantly filling your mind with images
like alcohol, for example, it's a placebo effect and your
brain when you drink, it says, oh, this is how
I'm supposed to feel, and he's constantly giving you that.
Then all of a sudden, I remember, like three quarters
into it, I'd be sitting in front of glass of
wine and my brain would like they're trying to trick you,
(27:30):
just as the shift at your perspective changes and then
the behavior changes. We're not going to get into all
that now, but there's real techniques you need that work
that change your perspective and then those decisions.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
Then those things happen and it's different.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
Yeah, if there's any time it's been needed, I mean
before this, yes, always, but I think especially now, you know,
in times of turmoil, we don't know what's about to happen,
and I think the best thing you can do is
try to take control of your own personal mental well
being and financial well being.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
Yeah, Black people are an incredible study and resilience if
you look at what we've actually been through, and we
forget that sometimes and it's connecting remembering that, connecting with
that making decisions from there.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
Oh, go ahead, Liz that.
Speaker 4 (28:15):
And I'm just gonna say community and accountability is so
important because sometimes when we're stressed, you know we go
to retail therapy. Yeahs, trying to find some happy hormones
when stress is really squeezing you. And why I say,
it's so important to have community and accountability. So when
(28:36):
you make that decision, which can happen in a moment,
it's like, okay, text your girlfriend or text your sister,
text someone to say, oh, I'm just feeling right to
talk off the ledge, talk off the spending so that
you can have that cushion account, that reserve, not going
to something tangible that's not going to really help my friends.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
Be like, girl, you get it. You deserve it. So
that doesn't help you get it. You deserve it.
Speaker 2 (29:01):
You take your team, take your pick your money team.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
If you've set aside your your fun money.
Speaker 4 (29:08):
Right, if you set aside as a part of your budget,
you say X Y and Z is for family, x
Y and Z is for me, this is for my savings.
And if you've set aside that money, then sure buy
whatever you you want. That's a trade off. It's not
an either or that, it's a both in right.
Speaker 3 (29:24):
Right, Yeah, I know yourself. Saturday afternoon, I don't want
to go shopping. So accountability friend, Okay, Saturday afternoon, you
make me go out for a walk instead. None of
this stuff can be alone.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
We weren't.
Speaker 3 (29:37):
It wasn't meant to be alone. That's why it's part
of our platform, Change your Mind, Change your Money, which
if you go to Stacey Tisdale dot com, it's all there.
You can sign up for the course, you can sign
up for our mentoring program, but it's also you're put
into a community because that's actually a scientific behavior change
technique and accountability partner.
Speaker 2 (29:57):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
I love this because I've I've always talked about financial planning,
but I've never really had a financial planner, like I've
kind of handled things on my own for the most part.
I've had stockbrokers, you know, I've invested in different things,
but I've never sat down and gone over my whole
financial outlook to see what it is that I'm trying
to get. So maybe I need to go ahead and
(30:19):
go to Stacytusdale dot com.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
You have me right here.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
It's already look at everything like as far as even
like retirement plans and helping to set up a state
planning and all of that.
Speaker 3 (30:33):
Okay, based on what we know is important to you,
and it's so funny to hear you talk like that.
I think you know, I've been a journalist. I didn't
want to stop being a journalist. The media industry changed.
I don't know how to be anything else. So I'm like, okay,
I got to start my own media company. I've never
thought about entrepreneurship. I never wanted to be an entrepreneur.
(30:55):
Angela meeting Angela and the idea of wealth wins days
and her believing in it, and her now I'm starting
to think maybe it's not a good thing. I always
tell people that. That's almost like she believes it's bad
luck to not help people. But all of that you
gave me, you inspired me to be an entrepreneur. Oh good,
(31:15):
I'm glad and learning. And was also kind enough to say, Okay,
I know you don't know what you're doing, and it's uh,
learn as we go, but I mean, know who's you know, know.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
Who's around you. That's gonna make a big difference. Right.
Speaker 1 (31:29):
Well, again, where can people sign up and like find
this so they can get the information to change their
mind and change their money.
Speaker 3 (31:35):
You can go to Stacytissdale dot com and for Aulia
Stacey is ey Folks By the way, Stacey Tisdale dot com,
you can sign up for our course, our mentoring program.
You can follow me on Instagram. Follow Wealth Wednesdays on
Instagram all the informations up there, and you also get
our great newsletter. And Lizetta you can follow She's a
(31:57):
Lizetta Braxton on Instagram. But we're excited about this new chapter.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
Yeah, I'm not above saying I need help. I'm not
above it. That's the first step.
Speaker 4 (32:06):
And we welcome in partnership.
Speaker 3 (32:09):
And it's never been more important for people to create
our own economies together.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
Really, all right, I'm gonna go through these steps so
I can report on it too.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
I'm gonna and who's your weekly accountability partner?
Speaker 1 (32:20):
Because honestly, for the first time ever, I just did
a heelock and I've never done that before, and I
was like mad at myself that I had to do it.
But I'm like, why haven't I done this earlier?
Speaker 2 (32:30):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (32:31):
You know, but it's good to know. All right, Well, again,
thank you so much to Stacy, Thank you Lizeta. It
was a pleasure.
Speaker 4 (32:38):
Likewise, thank you, and I celebrate what you all are
doing with the Wealth Wednesdays because it's time for us
to secure our wealth even more.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
And oh and I meant to say this earlier. You're
one of the top ten Invescipedia's one hundred Top financial
advisors for three consecutive years, and you're also named one
of Crane's New York Business Notable Black Leaders and Executives.
So thank you for the work that you're doing. You know,
we only bring people up here they are super like,
you know, super qualified. Who we trust.
Speaker 3 (33:04):
Yes, Stuphen, Wall Street Journal, New York Times, Black Enterprise.
She's an incredible financial expert. And thank you so much
for going on your journey with me. Don't mess with this.
Speaker 2 (33:14):
I'm not mess with this.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
Happy wealth Wednesday.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
Well,
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