I caught my teacher CHEATING… what should I do? | Craziest Zoom Call Experiences | Reddit Stories | EP2650 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is Dakota and this is Riley your favorite
Okay stories. I'm hosts and we got some great stories
coming up.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
But before that, we have a quick two minute break
from the sponsors to keep this show alive.

Speaker 1 (00:10):
These are the craziest zoom calls experiences known to mankind.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
Ever of all time, from here to the moon.

Speaker 1 (00:17):
So we're going to start here with deleted. You know
what's back when they delete their profile, they say. Blind
kid in a zoom call class at the end of
last year during English. This was his worst zoom experience.

Speaker 2 (00:29):
Blind kid, okay, ableism.

Speaker 1 (00:32):
I see out of the corner of my eye. He's
the only one with a camera on. Teacher was chill
if we didn't want them on while online, starts stroking
his shoulder in front of half of the class and
the teacher.

Speaker 3 (00:44):
It was a soldier. It was his soldier, because I
saw that too, was orp in his girkin.

Speaker 2 (00:51):
Oh my god, he was jinking his jorkler.

Speaker 1 (00:53):
He starts stroking his soldier in front of the half
the class and the teacher.

Speaker 2 (00:58):
They've never heard of that one before.

Speaker 1 (01:01):
The teacher kicked him from the class without saying anything
and continued on with the lecture like nothing happened. Poor
guy probably didn't even know. But yeah, that was a
very jarring English class.

Speaker 2 (01:13):
More like a very jorping English class.

Speaker 1 (01:16):
Dude, Good thing she was there to kick him out,
because imagine if yeah, imagine if she could have kicked
him out.

Speaker 2 (01:22):
He forgot what class he was in. He thought he
thought he was in his uh like you know braille
class where everyone's blind on the on the zoom call
his mixed head class.

Speaker 3 (01:35):
Do you think they'd like it was just like immediate
all right bye? Or was like what are you doing?
Stop doing that?

Speaker 1 (01:40):
No, because if he's doing that, he's probably got the
classroom volume way down low.

Speaker 2 (01:47):
Do you know do you think he knew what he
was doing?

Speaker 3 (01:50):
How did he?

Speaker 2 (01:50):
Do you think?

Speaker 1 (01:51):
How did he do that?

Speaker 3 (01:52):
How did he do you? How do you not know that? Like,
welcome to the class, this is what's going on.

Speaker 1 (01:57):
Well, he probably didn't think his camera's on. Also, how
do you do it when you're blind? How do you
see it.

Speaker 2 (02:02):
In your mind's eye?

Speaker 3 (02:04):
You feel it?

Speaker 2 (02:05):
You got to see it in your minds. You gotta visualize,
you know, you use echo location you go.

Speaker 1 (02:11):
Dear God, yes, who says I lifted up my arms
to stretch. The bottom of the top I was wearing
got caught on my bracelet and it pulled the top
right up and my right front air bag popped out
just a right little Oh at least it wasn't the
wrong airbag. Yeah, it was the right one, not.

Speaker 2 (02:29):
The left Breasticleike, dude, that's.

Speaker 1 (02:34):
My right breast he fell out, Dude, that's wild, just
flashing everyone. Hopefully there was a lot of people there,
so your camera probably wasn't exposed to a lot of people.

Speaker 2 (02:44):
You say, hopefully there was.

Speaker 1 (02:45):
Hopefully there was a lot of people there, because the
more cameras that are there.

Speaker 2 (02:49):
Oh, right, like, the less noticeable it is if you're
just quiet. Yeah, but you know, I don't know. Some
people have really good, you know, radar for that kind
of stuff. You know, some people are like I sense
to disturbance in the force. Oh, there was a pubacle
on my screen.

Speaker 1 (03:04):
The only time I've ever got flashed was when I
was a live guard, and it happened twice on purpose. No, no, there,
both of the girls went down the slide and I
was just like making sure everything's good, and then I
saw it and I was like, eh, I just acted
like because if I went like this, like I was
scanning and then I went like that, you just kind
of have to act like nothing happened. Yeah, the poor
girls were just like all right, anyways, Crazy Livy Kid says,

(03:25):
my husband farted so loud once while I was doing
online school. The screen focused on me because it thought
I was talking.

Speaker 3 (03:33):
That's awesome.

Speaker 2 (03:35):
Your husband really said like, I can't even go.

Speaker 1 (03:38):
I have to go like.

Speaker 2 (03:41):
And it literally just zooms in on your face just
like like this.

Speaker 1 (03:46):
Oh yeah, because it puts you on like announcer mode
or whatever.

Speaker 2 (03:49):
It'll put you to the forefront and it's just the
sound of your husband ripping ass.

Speaker 1 (03:54):
It wasn't me, and everyone's like your husband, Sure, it
was definitely your husband. Yeah, God, that would be. So
now you're the lord.

Speaker 2 (04:01):
You're the farter lord.

Speaker 3 (04:03):
Farklad fartler.

Speaker 1 (04:05):
Zoom for Shampoo says this story happened to me on
my second day of training on my first ever job.
So I just graduated in June twenty twenty one and
found a job in October of twenty twenty one. Same seas, No, no, no,
twenty twenty two. Sorry when did I graduate? I don't
remember you.

Speaker 2 (04:20):
Graduated in two thousand and it was nine eighteen.

Speaker 1 (04:24):
It was June twenty twenty one. Yes, I did graduate
in June twenty one. College. Yeah yeah, sorry, yeah. Feddal
job in October twenty twenty one. I used to use
Zoom for all of my university classes, but for work
they use Microsoft Teams, so I'm not familiar with that
at all. They're all the same. On my second day
of training, we have an important meeting with the vice

(04:44):
president of the company, Dick Cheney. The vice president keeps
battling about things about what I don't understand because this
is only my second day. So I'm just messing around
and I write click on him see more options. I
think mute, spotlight pin. So I'm like, hmmm, mute. That
sounds impossible. How can a person who is on their
second day of training be able to mute someone, let

(05:06):
alone the vice president. So I think about it for
a bit and go, oh, it would definitely mute it
on my side only, so I click mute. It works
all right, Yeah, okay, I mute the guy from my side.
I tried to right click and look for unmute, but
it didn't work until a couple of seconds later, I
hear people typing in the chat and also speaking up. Hey,

(05:29):
Vice President, we can't hear you. So he unmutes himself
and says, somebody just muted me. That's hilarious.

Speaker 2 (05:37):
Yes it is, mister vice president.

Speaker 1 (05:40):
Yes it is.

Speaker 2 (05:42):
Who could be responsible for something so funny?

Speaker 1 (05:45):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (05:45):
Who's the funny guy here?

Speaker 1 (05:46):
Huh?

Speaker 2 (05:47):
Who's the funniest guy in the zoom car? I don't know,
I don't know who.

Speaker 1 (05:51):
Could it been Microsoft, Tums whatever. At this part, my
heart is beating really fast. And this meeting had a
hundred and fifty people in it, and I typed in
the chat, sorry, didn't mean to do that. Then try
to unmute myself to apologize, but it took some seconds
to register. And then when I told my coworkers, yeah,

(06:11):
I definitely didn't mean to mute them, I see my
horror that he unmute buttoned worked and everyone heard me
say that. Vice President then jokingly told me you should
have unmuted yourself, not me.

Speaker 2 (06:22):
Oh oh, this is honestly, this is pretty net positive.
You're you're making an inside joke with the VP. Low key, yeah,
pretty cool.

Speaker 1 (06:32):
Overall, it took pretty well, and this is a super
laid back person. Oh man, that was terrifying. I thought
for sure I was gonna get fired. Dude, you're onto
something there. If you're in a big corporation, this is
your time to make an inside joke with the top VP.

Speaker 2 (06:49):
Yeah. Man, it's like, dude, someone muted me. What nobody
has the balls to stand up to me?

Speaker 3 (06:57):
It was a power move.

Speaker 2 (06:58):
Yeah, yeah, and that's hilarious. Don't let it happen again.

Speaker 1 (07:02):
Lokay, if you play your cards right, you could, like.

Speaker 2 (07:05):
You could get a full house.

Speaker 1 (07:06):
Yeah, you could probably get a big, big old race
full house.

Speaker 2 (07:10):
Maybe a flush.

Speaker 1 (07:11):
I mute on our team leads. So on our team leads,
we have Eddie, Leanne, Nina, and May. Sometimes Nina's background
noise because her like fiance's like talking. Sometimes they're all crazy.
And sometimes whenever Leanne's talking, it.

Speaker 2 (07:25):
Like reverbs because of the volcanoes.

Speaker 1 (07:27):
Yeah, because the volcanos. I just mute them, and.

Speaker 2 (07:29):
They'd be so rude you're just muting.

Speaker 1 (07:33):
Sometimes it will say you're just muting.

Speaker 2 (07:35):
Riley doesn't listen to women.

Speaker 1 (07:36):
No, I listened to them, but they're not talking, is
the thing you listen to. Their background noise is talking,
and everyone else is kind of like, can hear it too?
And it's uncomfortable for a couple of seconds. Then I'm like,
and then I mute whoever. I don't mute them while
they're talking. I just mute them whenever the background's talking.

Speaker 2 (07:51):
Yeah, you just mute them when you're like, I've had
enough woman for the day.

Speaker 1 (07:54):
Dude. I wish you know you know how powerful that
button is, the mute every woman on Earth? Button? Dude?
How do you do?

Speaker 2 (08:02):
We can't. We can't let that technology out. That's too
that's too dangerous.

Speaker 1 (08:06):
Too powerful.

Speaker 2 (08:08):
What happened? You know?

Speaker 1 (08:09):
Every man from where I live, God, they all go fishing.
If that happened, they were getting thing done.

Speaker 2 (08:15):
I wouldn't be getting nothing done because they wouldn't have
no women to tell them what to do. That's my
grandpa sometimes anyways, Why can't women just love telling us
what to do forever, all the time, forever always and
expect us to think nothing. Didn't you know what you
signed up for when y'all ate that apple? That was that?
I'm just kidding. Don't put that in, leave that out,

(08:35):
get rid of that.

Speaker 1 (08:35):
You're gonna put your hat back onto We're at it.
Two for one.

Speaker 2 (08:38):
I would wear that hat. It's a cool had people
get it. It's just a cool hat, all right.

Speaker 1 (08:42):
So Blue Morphine says, went to my bathroom to zoom
call my college advisor because the internet is really strong
in there.

Speaker 2 (08:50):
Okay, why is that the case. That's like, you've got
some kind of CIA operative using some kind of signal
booster in the bathroom to send off messages. You've you've
got a CIA operative trying to recruit a professor to
becoming as an intel agent.

Speaker 1 (09:05):
You really couldn't tell that I was sitting on the
toilet because I was sideways and the window was behind me. Well,
I'm in the middle of discussing stuff with my advisor,
and I had my right arm on the top of
the toilet lid, and my elbow slipped hit the flusher.
So in the middle of the zoom call, I accidentally
flushed the toilet. I clickly muted myself, but my advisor

(09:26):
obviously heard it. I explained to her why I was
in the bathroom, and she laughed about it, but still horrifying.
This could have gone so much worse.

Speaker 2 (09:35):
I mean, yeah, it could have been Yeah, I feel
like this was not that bad, and someone else just
comes in and they're having like stomach ruple.

Speaker 1 (09:43):
Yep, that's what I was thinking.

Speaker 2 (09:44):
Comes into the bathroom and in the in the background,
you just hear someone.

Speaker 1 (09:48):
Going, oh, oh God. Literally the worst thing I hate
hate in the world is old man bathroom noises. Oh yeah,
I hate old man bathroom noises. I am not and
I really would appreciate if you did not make any noises.

(10:10):
But what are they They're like they're like or like
they're like, like what I did that? Anything that you
would do in a bathroom to clear yourself out, I
hate them so much.

Speaker 2 (10:19):
Do your like bathroom is for silent shame time, No
silent shame in the bathroom.

Speaker 3 (10:24):
Own.

Speaker 1 (10:24):
I understand that you have to get stuff done in
the bathroom. I just still hate it. My great grandfather
would do this all the time. He wouldn't even be
in the bathroom and he'll do it, and it just
but with this story, I literally thought someone would be
having stomach troubles, like just screaming or like not doing
well or.

Speaker 2 (10:39):
Yeah, because sometimes those public bathrooms they'll have a lot
of reverb, you know, or sound will bounce around, so
someone's in the other stall, just like having a Category
five fighting for their lives, natural disaster over there, yeah,
or yeah, that's not that's not good.

Speaker 1 (10:55):
Or like you're having like a serious call in the
bathroom and someone's like, who's having a zoom call in here?

Speaker 2 (11:01):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (11:01):
Why do people do people take calls in the bathroom?
I've noticed that before.

Speaker 2 (11:05):
I'm sure it's rare. I've seen I haven't really, I
haven't experienced that either.

Speaker 1 (11:11):
I once had an interview with a woman and she
was in the bathroom while talking to me. Okay, I
was like, okay.

Speaker 2 (11:16):
I mean, you know, hey, maybe you're busy, you know, yeah,
some people have busy lives, you know.

Speaker 1 (11:22):
So P ninety medics SSS. During an online clown workshop,
we were lying on the floor with eyes closed and
relaxing when one participant's autistic son walked in, saw his
parents on the floor and thought they were dead.

Speaker 2 (11:38):
Well, that's a smart kid.

Speaker 1 (11:39):
He gave out an ear piercing shriek, and the two
parents quickly muted their call and left to reassure him.
What did he see in that? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (11:50):
Oh my god? Hey, well, I mean, hey, kid was
right to freak out. That's a freaky thing to have happened.
They're dad. He just walks in and goes dude, just
imagine relaxing and then just the piercer.

Speaker 1 (12:10):
Everyone had to jumped this this pump kid. Just imagine
young Bruce Wayne in there. That's what you think.

Speaker 2 (12:18):
Now I'm imagining uh almost now now I'm imagining the
scream in the voice of Kevin Conrad or what was
that not Kevin Conrad? What was his name?

Speaker 3 (12:27):
Kevin Conroy?

Speaker 2 (12:28):
Kevin Conroy.

Speaker 1 (12:30):
Yeah, amazing, So nerd a girl thirty seven sets. I
was on my weekly team call when it happened. I
was asking you a question, so I was a muted went,
holy shits, those are gunshots and hit the floor. Oh
my team saw it was me throwing my head set
off and frantically rolling off my couch. Supposedly my mic

(12:51):
picked up on me calling nine to one one. Dude,
that's cool.

Speaker 2 (12:56):
Wait, what are you mean?

Speaker 3 (12:57):
Were they towards you?

Speaker 1 (13:00):
Even? Doper?

Speaker 2 (13:01):
Now everyone's gonna be like, don't mess with that guy.
That guy knows how to survive. That guys just sur
fava that.

Speaker 1 (13:08):
That's wild. They're probably like, uh.

Speaker 2 (13:10):
You should move, Yeah, maybe they should offer you and
be like, would you like to move in with me.
That's also are they're gonna blindside you that.

Speaker 1 (13:19):
But this is also a good way to get a promotion.
Be like, I don't really like why I live. I
don't know.

Speaker 2 (13:23):
It might be a good way to get fired, you know.
They're like, well, you know we can't. We ran the
risk analysis, and you know, if you were to get
clipped in the face, you know, we we would be
in a pretty rough spot given how you know, crucial
you are to the business. So we're gonna have to
fire you and replace you with someone who doesn't live
in the ghetta that.

Speaker 1 (13:44):
They would they would probably give you a raise.

Speaker 2 (13:46):
I mean, yeah, probably, I'm I'm I'm probably wrong. I
don't run a company, you know, But I'll tell you what,
if you were my guy, I'd be like, we gotta
get you a firearm. You're gonna be our private security
from now on.

Speaker 1 (14:00):
Ooh, there we go, there you go, boom blow, So
throw a stone, says During online classes, a classmate forgot
to turn off her camera during a break and we
could see her walking around in her room and just
a tank talk in underwear looking for her. Someone from
the class had a private number and informed her.

Speaker 2 (14:17):
Dang, that's gotta be a hard phone call to get.

Speaker 1 (14:20):
Hey, you're walking around with your butt out, just her
looking back at the camera.

Speaker 3 (14:24):
Like, and she just scrambles to the car.

Speaker 2 (14:27):
She just jumps into her setup just goes to no signal.

Speaker 1 (14:31):
Dude. Sometimes, whenever I used to live here, these cameras
would be on and I'd be in just a towel,
and I'd be like, oh ah, dang it.

Speaker 2 (14:39):
There I am majestically in my towel.

Speaker 1 (14:42):
We could be accidentally streaming and someone could see me
right now.

Speaker 2 (14:46):
Yeah, but that's how they all see you anyway.

Speaker 1 (14:48):
In a towel.

Speaker 2 (14:49):
How I see you. That's what I see when I
look at you. I see you in a towel.

Speaker 1 (14:53):
That's quite lovely. You telling me how do I How
do I fold my towel?

Speaker 2 (14:57):
Mm? Like a street man, like the straightest man on earth.

Speaker 1 (15:05):
My brother does not know how to fold the towel.

Speaker 2 (15:07):
It's the straightest way to fold the town.

Speaker 3 (15:09):
Which one tate Yep, yep.

Speaker 1 (15:11):
Every time he has the towel on, he has to
hold it and if he can't, then it'll.

Speaker 2 (15:15):
Fall when you roll it.

Speaker 1 (15:17):
Yep, you roll it, that's right. Yeah, he doesn't know
how to do that.

Speaker 2 (15:20):
You roll it the outside way. It took me a
long time to learn that, and then you can go.
It wasn't until I was like twenty six or twenty
seven yo.

Speaker 1 (15:28):
Alicia Hodge, I carry one every day for my safety
with my job.

Speaker 2 (15:31):
Blow bing bop boom boom, boom bop bam.

Speaker 1 (15:34):
Type one if you do, Type two, if you don't,
I do an nerf gun. I got one in my car.

Speaker 2 (15:40):
I've got one installed in my hand.

Speaker 1 (15:43):
All right, deleted says. I had a class last semester
taught by a seventy year old priest, absolutely amazing. Professor
Glass was great even online. One of the girls in
the class was usually seen hitting an ape or smoking
the devil's let us right before class started, and she
kind of acted erratic. One day, her camera turned off

(16:04):
for a bit, and when she turned it back on
in the last few minutes of class, she had a
towel on her head. The professor asked her a question,
and she goes, honestly, I have no idea. I was showering.

Speaker 2 (16:15):
I just had to get a little clean. I can't
focus when i'm dirty.

Speaker 1 (16:19):
This girl thought it was perfectly acceptable to turn off
her camera, bring the laptop into a bathroom shower and
count that as attendance. And this is a pricey private university.
Professor looked slightly horrified and slightly baffled, as did most
of the class.

Speaker 2 (16:37):
Honestly, though, if you had put me in a university
during like the DEMI like the pandemic during that. Yeah,
you better believe I'm taking I'm doing my class. Why
take a shower? What the hell are you talking about.
I'm paying eighty thousand dollars to go to the school
on a laptop. Yeah, I'm doing whatever i want. Actually,
thank you.

Speaker 1 (16:54):
Yeah. I once made a sandwich during class and my
professor called me out. He's like, hey, don't do that.

Speaker 2 (17:00):
I'd be like, hey, why don't you come over here
and make me Oops, you can't because you're on my
computer screen.

Speaker 1 (17:05):
You also didn't like me because we had different views
about the world. That was a hard one. Yeah, that
was a hard class. Anyways. Junior Bag fifty nine eighty
eight says I was a live drawer model and thanks
to the pandemic, could not be in person. So there's
me stark unclothed for a zoom call for the class. Oh,
she's that kind of model.

Speaker 2 (17:24):
She was the she was the she's the one form
model there.

Speaker 3 (17:28):
And then like, paint me like one of your French girls, just.

Speaker 2 (17:30):
To pan to my bizangas and also my tata. Wow,
maybe my booty, perhaps an elbow.

Speaker 1 (17:37):
I feel like if I was in that class, I
would really really really focus on the nose.

Speaker 2 (17:41):
Oh I thought you were saying if you were the model.

Speaker 1 (17:44):
Oh.

Speaker 2 (17:44):
I was like, if I was a model, I would
take a step powerful stance for sure.

Speaker 1 (17:48):
Just like a real lean back.

Speaker 2 (17:49):
Yeah, like like a super Superman hands on the hips, yeah,
kind of like yeah, it would be like yeah, just
a yeah, just a real get like hit like a stretch.

Speaker 1 (18:02):
Yep. I like that. That's how I dude. When I
went to I'd hit it when I went to class
during this time when everyone was on zoom and everything,
it was an interesting time because it was like it
really showed how comfortable certain professors were with like being
in class and not in person. Not in person.

Speaker 2 (18:21):
Yeah, I would be like, I I'm paying no tuition
for this. This is insane. I'm paying you can't I'm
not paying for this, Yeah, I'm yeah.

Speaker 1 (18:30):
Thankfully I had classes that I you know, I had
to take classes and I couldn't do it online or
like look it up. I had to like actually do
it because I actually learned. That was good. All right,
Time to beat the that's their username.

Speaker 3 (18:44):
No, that's crazy.

Speaker 1 (18:46):
That is wild.

Speaker 2 (18:47):
Wait no it's not. It's not as bad as you think.

Speaker 1 (18:50):
Here we go.

Speaker 2 (18:50):
It's time to be at the kids.

Speaker 3 (18:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (18:53):
That all right, it's time to be at the kids,
says I forgot to put a bron for a one
on one. So one of my college students is acutely
aware that my nippies are pierced ow.

Speaker 2 (19:04):
Ow ow ow wow wow wow wow wow wow the
good old Nichols.

Speaker 1 (19:10):
Ouch. Dude, learning about someone you know having pierced ones
really is eye opening.

Speaker 2 (19:17):
Yeah, make sure eyes go boy o o o oh
I didn't know about that. No no no no no
no no no ban no no no no no oh
I oh banana na Wait wait I.

Speaker 1 (19:30):
Could have done about that? What?

Speaker 2 (19:32):
Okay?

Speaker 1 (19:32):
Fine, says today Remote Learning. I was going to the
bathroom and my five year old says, it dropped me.
I can't get it back. Happens all the time.

Speaker 2 (19:41):
Wait what what what dropped him? What? What did what?
What dropped him.

Speaker 1 (19:46):
Keep going. It happens all the time. It means she
hit the X or the T shirt did. My daughter
had to be present, so I said, fine, bring it
to me on the toilet. Scream is black, So I
restarted my daughter's device. Teacher emailed me that it was
actually still on when the camera flipped, everything was captured.

Speaker 2 (20:06):
Caught you on the commode.

Speaker 1 (20:08):
Dude, make it a five year old. Take it. I
have another zoom call story.

Speaker 2 (20:13):
Oh yeah, yeah, does it.

Speaker 1 (20:15):
When my little brother Sawyer was like five or six, I.

Speaker 2 (20:19):
Think he was like maybe seven or whatever, six or seven,
he was.

Speaker 1 (20:22):
Learning how to play the violin, but he had to
do it on zoom. Well, one day he got obsessed
with doing these puppet things.

Speaker 2 (20:29):
Wait when he's doing puppet show.

Speaker 1 (20:32):
What he would get two sucks and he would like
make a puppet show just randomly, like that's just what
he would do for like this sprint of like a
month or two. Well, we had to go to my
grandma's house because she's the only person that has internet.
So we take him to our grandma's house, put him upstairs,
and he's learning the violin. So the way that the
teacher described it was she logged on and was like,

(20:55):
you know, oh hey, sawyer, Sawyer, and then from the
camera view goes what you can the middle me.

Speaker 2 (21:04):
And did that for five minutes and wouldn't respond yeah no,
but he was responding with.

Speaker 1 (21:11):
His hand puppet respond as the puppets. She said, it
was the funniest thing ever. Oh man, sorry, was funny.

Speaker 2 (21:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (21:23):
Goldfish nineteen oh two says suffered from diarrhea and thought
the discord was muted. It wasn't. Everyone heard it.

Speaker 2 (21:30):
Everyone heard you, and it sounded like this.

Speaker 1 (21:34):
No uhhh oh bk BK hazard says a personal social nightmare.
During a discussion heavy class I was taking last year,
I had a question that turned into a two to
three minute back and forth with the teacher as they
expounded on my question. Just as they were redirecting the

(21:55):
conversation back to the PowerPoint sides, one of the girls
in the class wasn't on mute, and some in their room,
I guess their roommate or something said that guy has
such an annoying voice, and the girl responded, I hate
hearing him talk. Every time he opens his mouth. I'm
just waiting for him to shut up. Teacher reminded everyone
to mute themselves, and the girl got wide eyed and

(22:16):
muted herself. We could see her tell the roommate about
it and then laughing, but they didn't apologize or anything.
There was just a few moments of silence, and the
teacher moved on. I stepped away from my computer for
a bit and barely ever said anything for the rest
of the semester. Thanks to everyone it means to hear
about these positive words. Dude, you can't don't let some

(22:37):
girl in college stop you from learning about stuff in
a class.

Speaker 2 (22:41):
Don't let don't let her stupid, gross, ugly heart stop
you from being a beautiful little flower my life.

Speaker 1 (22:46):
I did that one time. I was like, uh, like
doing some brainswewing stuff in the class once and this
guy was like, stop, you're like making it go longer
and I and it literally killed my creativity. I don't
let people do that to you.

Speaker 2 (22:59):
You were like, oh, you were like, but yeah, you
were being the kid. Well no, I guess not. No.
I was just say it's the kid who's like the
homework that you didn't collect the homework. And everyone goes,
ah see, but I did it. I want to turn
it in.

Speaker 1 (23:14):
I wasn't that kid, But I was like, oh, yeah,
how how else could I learn this? And then and
this was an English class, so I was like, in
my bag, I needed to learn this stuff.

Speaker 2 (23:25):
Yeah, you were like, no, for real, I need we
need to talk about this. What the hell is going
on with d's and b's and p's. Why are they
all almost the same? Can I please get some different
d's and b's and p's please? Right?

Speaker 1 (23:38):
In math, We're good. I had everything down.

Speaker 2 (23:41):
But see now that's where my dyslexia always hit the most.

Speaker 1 (23:44):
Math.

Speaker 2 (23:44):
I mean, like I don't really have dyslexia, but like
I would always end up swapping. Like if I had
to recall a number and like it ended in a seven,
I would always be like, does it end with seven
or end with three? Because like seven is three away
from ten, So that's how my brain would like re
like would would remember of things with like that gap
instead of the actual number.

Speaker 1 (24:03):
The neuropathways have that kind of.

Speaker 2 (24:05):
Yeah, like so I'll just like flip around that number
between instead of the actual number. I'll be like I
won't remember if it's that or if it's how far
away it was from ten? Yeah, five is really great
for that though.

Speaker 1 (24:16):
No, it's perfect overdue. Doughnut says. I attended a virtual
networking zoom for work and during the main speaker event,
someone unmuted they were clearly on the phone with someone
and started going, Oh, no, I can talk now, it's cool.
I'm just on this stupid webinar. I'm not even going
to listen to this.

Speaker 2 (24:33):
Nice, very nice. At least you let everyone know and
they can be like.

Speaker 1 (24:37):
I respect that.

Speaker 2 (24:39):
I respect a person who's upfront and on it's about
their feelings.

Speaker 1 (24:42):
Kean, did you have to go to school during the
whole COVID thing?

Speaker 3 (24:45):
Nope, I graduated a year before.

Speaker 1 (24:47):
That's crazy. You graduated in twenty nineteen, is sir? When
I graduated high school. I know you're so old. I know,
Wait would you graduate college? Never? Wait? Would you graduate
high school twenty fourteen? I was a freshman the year
after that. That's crazy?

Speaker 2 (25:02):
Yeah, I remember I was thinking about that because I
remember my senior year of high school seeing all like
the freshmen came in for the like little freshman tour,
and I was like, you gross, who were these little
freaking creatures? Me? Who were these? And I was like, yeah,
that would have been right. Riley would have been one
of those.

Speaker 3 (25:18):
Definitely one of those little creatures where you're like, I
want to pick on him.

Speaker 2 (25:22):
I was like, you gross, What did I look like
that when I was fourteen? I was cool though, and
it's like I looked deepd younger. Probably honestly I was.

Speaker 1 (25:29):
I was like this with all the seniors that I
had a senior girlfriend for a little bit.

Speaker 2 (25:33):
Oh that's problematic.

Speaker 3 (25:34):
That is problematic. We forget to know I actually like
hung out with like I hung out with kids with
everything in every single grade. It was great.

Speaker 1 (25:43):
Snow Donuts three O eight sets. We're on a zoom
call conference call with our marketing agency. We were their
biggest client by a mile, but our relationship had become
strained as they weren't delivering results. A purpose of the
meeting was for them to a introduce our new account
director and be present the results and action planned back
to us. Our marketing manager iron ironically called Karen was

(26:05):
giving them a real hard time. Makes sense. The new
account director shared their screen, but inadvertently shared her slack
on the screen where she and their whole team were
chatting about us in real time as they were presenting
this included call on Karen, a real Karen, and I
bet she'll ask to speak to the manager did she?

(26:26):
And did she? And saying that they'd have to stop
lying to assume Karen let them keep it on screen
the whole time and told them at the end the
account director cried.

Speaker 2 (26:37):
I read that as the account director died.

Speaker 1 (26:40):
That would have been better.

Speaker 3 (26:41):
Probably felt like it.

Speaker 2 (26:43):
Dude, cook on gook on cook on gook on heart explodes,
who you made him cry? Yeah, and then you made
him and then you made him d word, you made
him die?

Speaker 1 (26:56):
Dude, that's wild. I can't. That's also stupid. Who ever
like shared their screen and just put it on that dude?
Come on.

Speaker 2 (27:02):
I just think it's always dumb to ever get caught
lacking in a digital setting like that, because it's like
so obvious and right in front of you.

Speaker 1 (27:12):
Yeah, that's your job.

Speaker 2 (27:13):
You go, wait, okay, do I have the little mute
icon on? Can't do I am I making sure no
one can see me and see that I'm talking crap
about literally the people in this meet it. And it's like,
if you can't do that, you deserve to be outed
because you are stupid and others should know about it.

Speaker 1 (27:31):
Can we find some just realized Riley was as old
as my youngest kid when I graduated in high school.

Speaker 2 (27:36):
You had your kid before you graduated high school?

Speaker 1 (27:38):
That's cool? Wait, am I as old as you're? Good? Confused?

Speaker 2 (27:41):
Do I have to shame you for being a teen mother? No,
I'm just kidding.

Speaker 1 (27:47):
Cono, I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (27:48):
Has anyone made you feel bad about that recently? Sounds
like he made a terrible decision, and honestly, I'm disgusted. No,
I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. If
it wasn't you, Kim Fine, everyone, Kim Fine.

Speaker 1 (28:02):
Can tell us when you graduated?

Speaker 2 (28:03):
All right, So God, tell us when you got pregnant?
Not yet tell us the age?

Speaker 1 (28:11):
Working on it. I'm trying to get pregnant.

Speaker 2 (28:12):
Age location and scale on one to ten. How excited
you wear.

Speaker 1 (28:16):
And the girth goth Avocado Ho says, not terrifying. But
I toentysoo female joined a conference call with like or
forty five or older men I never met. So I'm
a bit nervous being inexperienced. Okay, Then one of them
shares this screen with two obvious corn tabs on his browser.
I have no idea if the others noticed, but the

(28:38):
feeling of the guy's subtle, ohf realization through the screen
made me feel not as intimidated. Lmao. How are you
looking at that during work? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (28:49):
That's some people can really compartmentalize, like effectively, just very quickly.
Just turn it on, turn it off, turn it on,
turn it off, turn it on, turn it off.

Speaker 3 (28:57):
Some people just don't care.

Speaker 2 (28:58):
Well, this is my work half of the computer, and
this is my not work half of the computer.

Speaker 3 (29:04):
It's like I come to work to have fun. Guys.

Speaker 2 (29:06):
Yeah, I crossed my eyes with my left eye, I
work over here, and with my right eye I play.

Speaker 1 (29:12):
What do you do with your hands?

Speaker 2 (29:14):
Well, you can't get it. We can't get into that part.

Speaker 1 (29:17):
Yeah, I saw that, kimberly fun.

Speaker 2 (29:18):
That's why Kim Kim No, I did not spawn in
high school.

Speaker 1 (29:26):
When I graduated high school, Riley was the same age
as my youngest is now.

Speaker 2 (29:31):
So yeah, when it's right, yes, nice.

Speaker 1 (29:38):
Anyways, Kim user name says zoom interview for a very
well known paying admin position at my local school.

Speaker 2 (29:46):
High school hospital. Did you say hospital? I can't read code,
but I just wanted to say as you say.

Speaker 3 (29:52):
Hospital, he said, He said, he said bread cumb earlier.

Speaker 2 (29:55):
Bread cumb.

Speaker 1 (29:57):
I'm gonna say bread crumb.

Speaker 2 (29:58):
Oh that's so close.

Speaker 1 (30:00):
Thank you, thank you.

Speaker 3 (30:02):
Yeah, two letters off. I guess.

Speaker 1 (30:05):
Hey, this is Riley, your favorite Southern bill. We're gonna
get back to these stories. But here's three minutes worth
of ads from our sponsors. Use the name says zoom.
Interview for a very well paying admin position at my
local hospital, lots of money on the line. Was doing
the interview while my daughter was at school, and my
husband walks into the room saying, well, would you look

(30:25):
at the time Tom to suck my wife's nose.

Speaker 2 (30:29):
Oh no, oh what? Oh lord?

Speaker 1 (30:34):
He says this while unclothed and visible to the camera. Oh,
the interviewer laughed. I was mortified, and a conversation discussing
onboarding became an employer ghosting me. All right, Oh no,
it was a genuine accident. I didn't expect him to
wake up during it. He didn't expect me to be

(30:54):
on an interview. The no sucking thing is part of
a game we play where alone we threatened to do
any litany of weird things two or for one another.
No sucking is the most used and is an inside joke.

Speaker 2 (31:07):
Okay, okay, yeah you should have You should have prepped
your husband said, hey bebe Yeah, no nose sucking right
when we wake up, mommy's got an interview.

Speaker 1 (31:18):
Yeah yeah, say that, give my heads up. I think
that would be the perfect in man. Yeah, so I
didn't get the job and kind of gave up on
a traditional job at that point, switched instead of starting
a business. And I'm way more happier since I got
used to my otherwise wasted degree. Oh so it actually
worked out for her.

Speaker 2 (31:37):
Oh looks like he should have sucked your nose then.

Speaker 1 (31:40):
Yeah, that is something I like to do to Andrew.

Speaker 3 (31:43):
What you suck her notes?

Speaker 2 (31:45):
What you like inhale while she exhales through her nose.

Speaker 1 (31:48):
No, it just happens. And then she's like she like
freaks out a lot.

Speaker 2 (31:52):
Yeah, I'm confused. That makes sense almost. How you do that?

Speaker 1 (31:55):
It's like giving It's like, so she's just doing this,
literally what she's doing. She's doing this, and then I
go and then I can like I get a I
guess h duo.

Speaker 2 (32:09):
She's like, ah, yeah, yeah, I picked her boogers out.
Suck her boggers out and eat them, don't you actually disgusting? Right?

Speaker 1 (32:19):
I do clean her ears sometimes with your mouth, No,
with Q tips, just go And then this is the
most disgusting thing I'll ever tell you. I'll take a
video of like her ear and I'll be like, look
before and then I'll clean it real good and then
after and she's like, oh wow, good job.

Speaker 3 (32:34):
You should do that with Dakota. Why because you have
waxy ears?

Speaker 1 (32:39):
Could help you out there.

Speaker 2 (32:40):
I don't take them. I take care of them, all right.
Come come look, come look in my ear.

Speaker 1 (32:51):
You gotta come. You're good, You're good, Come good. I'm
not gonna monkey you.

Speaker 2 (32:54):
Bro. You scared him.

Speaker 1 (32:56):
I am scared.

Speaker 2 (32:56):
You scared him. I have a normal amount of wax
in my ear.

Speaker 1 (33:00):
Uh OPI you can't go back from that, you really can't.

Speaker 2 (33:02):
Wisdom is haunted by a ghost.

Speaker 1 (33:04):
Wisdom of Pearl says, I personally have an oversized monitor
so I can see these small little faces very well.
On Zoom, a guy was in a shirt and tie.
All seemed normal, but he kept making some very visual
facial expressions and actually at one point clammed his hand
over his own mouth.

Speaker 3 (33:24):
Uh, something's going on.

Speaker 2 (33:28):
Then I have a theory. I have a couple, I
have none, Yeah, because he's so straight.

Speaker 1 (33:34):
Then suddenly, and very briefly, the back of a woman's
head popped up. Most people tried to pretend they didn't
see anything, but there was one guy who kept asking
whose head that was, and why they were listening to
our meeting, and just so on and so on. Yeah,
people became more annoyed by the guy asking questions then
about what they had seen.

Speaker 2 (33:54):
The guy the meeting's just like, oh that guy, did
anyone else see that? There's there's someone's head. Someone's getting head,
someone getting head over there in the screen, So head,
who's head?

Speaker 1 (34:06):
Help?

Speaker 2 (34:06):
That guy is getting domed right now? So like you
need help, help, help, she needs help, help.

Speaker 1 (34:13):
So low keith, I see them on a zoom meeting.
It's a cannon event. I don't have you for them.
I'm like, all right, cool, we're just gonna keep going.

Speaker 2 (34:19):
So like when you see like RoadHead, you just go
you go, oh have ya? Like no, Like imagine being
the guy who's like, I'm calling the police. Hello, there's
some people that are fucking on pps in traffic, and

(34:40):
I need you to arrest them. No, I don't care
how many how many people are getting shot in the streets.
I need you to arrest the ppee toucher in the
traffic traffical peepee toucher. Yeah, don't be that guy. Just
go Oh kids.

Speaker 1 (34:58):
Look away, look away, look away me. Jock says. I
was on a zoom call for work right after the
band Demi started. My wife and I were both working
from home, and the schools and daycares were closed too. Normally,
we divided up our day so that if one of
us was working and the other one was taking care
of the kids. One day, though, we both had online
meetings at the same time, so we turned the TV

(35:18):
on and told the kids just to watch TV until
one of us was done. I had my headphones on
so that I would have been distracted from my meeting.
At some point, I see my wife quickly get up
from her chair. Then I look at my screen at
the window where I could see myself. I saw my
three year old behind me, frantically clawing at her throat
and trying to cough. She was choking on whatever snack

(35:40):
she had been eating. Oh, my wife was too panicked
to really do anything flag and was just screaming and
basically pulling her hair out. I hopped up, leaned the
kid forward, and just started smacking her on the back. Luckily,
she coughed it up, started crying, and I gave her
a big huck. A minut or two later, I sat
back down to my meeting, put my headphones on, and

(36:00):
realized everyone else in the meeting was just sitting there
in shock because they'd witnessed the whole thing.

Speaker 2 (36:07):
No one was like, Hey, your kid is dying. I
would be so pissed at everyone who could see that
and said nothing to me. But also I'd think of
you differently if I saw that on a zoom call.
I think you're in a very unfair situation.

Speaker 3 (36:20):
But also good on you, just another day being a parent.

Speaker 2 (36:23):
Yeah, red flag that your wife couldn't save your child,
red flag, red flag alert.

Speaker 1 (36:29):
It's a lot.

Speaker 2 (36:29):
I mean, I'm kind of joking, but at the same time,
I'm also not. You know, there's nothing I hate more
than just a person who like, in like a like
a disastrou scenario just goes It's like, all right, you've
made nothing better, You've made everything worse.

Speaker 1 (36:48):
That's let's yet save that. But good on you. Dude,
they probably think you're like the man from now on.
They're all just sitting there and shocked, like, oh my gosh. Also,
what are you supposed to do? Literally on a zoom call,
you can't do or anything. You just have to watch it.
What do you mean watch the kid cough?

Speaker 2 (37:04):
What do you mean? I would I would be like, hey,
your child looks to be in distress. What do you mean,
what do you mean Like everyone in the call is
probably muted.

Speaker 1 (37:11):
Yeah, well no, no, I'm on the zoom call. Your kid
gets choked, you leave to go take care of the kid.
I can't do anything. I'm on a zoom call.

Speaker 2 (37:19):
Like if this was not I just mean like the
I just mean like if you're seeing it in the background.

Speaker 1 (37:22):
No, No, I didn't say that, and I was like, I
was like, oh, that's happening.

Speaker 2 (37:27):
Wait, I'm still I'm confused what you're saying. So, in
this hypothetical, you did see it or you didn't. I'm
seeing you take care of it, but you're not seeing
I would be more mad that because I think he
was saying people saw it happening before and didn't say anything,
and then it wasn't until his wife started freaking out
that he realized, he.

Speaker 1 (37:43):
Said, when I looked at my screen at the window
where I could see myself. Oh yeah, I guess people could.

Speaker 2 (37:48):
It's like everyone's seeing like his kids behind him, like
and everyone's just like, well, I don't want to talk
out of turn. That might be awkward. It's like, hey,
what is wrong with that? U?

Speaker 1 (38:00):
Huh? Yeah? Right?

Speaker 2 (38:02):
Like I saw a video of some it was like
a zoo, like there were lions at the zoo. I
don't even know if this is real. I assume it's
probably not. Everything's always fake now, but it was like
some uh, some girl got like snagged by like a
lion at like a Chinese zoo or something, and she's
getting pulled in. There's like one guy like pulling her back,
and then there's just two other people standing right next
to it, just watching it happen, doing absolutely nothing, yep,

(38:26):
And they're kind of like pointing like oh, like try that,
and it's like what dude, Like, dude do something.

Speaker 1 (38:31):
One is ah, there's no more community anymore.

Speaker 2 (38:34):
I'm pulling you down and feeding you to the lion,
and I'm saving my daughter.

Speaker 1 (38:39):
Yeah, man with the pencil, says my wife was on
a call delivering a virtual training to some new foster families.
Our computer is located at the back of our dining
room study, looking back at the room and giving a
good view of most of the door from about the
waist tying upwards. The door doesn't latch anymore, so it
can be pushed open fairly easy. My wifeet shut the

(39:00):
door before she began the call to keep any background
house noises from interrupting the session. She was about halfway
through when our dog decided to investigate these strange voices
coming from the room. Dog knows he can use his
head to fling the door open, but the camera was
angled in such a way that you could see most
of the door, but not the dog as he came

(39:21):
trotting in. So from the perspective of the people on
the call, it appeared as if the door had flung
open with no one on the other side. It was
quiet comical listening from the other room as a group
of fully grown adults were shrieked in terror, and then
my wife having to explain that it was just the dog.

Speaker 2 (39:39):
It was just a dog. A dog. The dog likes
making a little joke. Yeah, every now and then the
dog likes to be a little funny.

Speaker 1 (39:47):
The dog just likes the and I know that dog's
names like Bernie or something.

Speaker 2 (39:52):
It's like Bernie, I'm a goofly goofler rab.

Speaker 1 (39:55):
What are you doing? Oh there's corn? Zoom? What wait?
I saw that too. What are you guys talking about?

Speaker 2 (40:01):
What are you guys telling about?

Speaker 1 (40:02):
Could you scroll up?

Speaker 2 (40:03):
What are they talking about in there? It looks like
I've got one crazy eye. Well, we've got some more
zoom called disasters here. Let's see definition of tragic says
This happened three months ago while I was in class
via zoom. Our instructors constantly tell us that we aren't
supposed to be driving and running errands while class is
in session, but of course that doesn't stop people from

(40:24):
doing it anyway. I was bored during the lecture and
decided to look at what my classmates were doing. One
student was in her car driving with the camera facing her.
She unmuted herself to ask the instructor a question, and boom, no,
we heard a pop and saw a glass flying. The
camera was tossed around, then a glimpse of the airbag

(40:44):
and the sound of a horn. The girl had crashed
into another car and a red light. Oh that Yeah,
you can't dude, you can't do that.

Speaker 1 (40:52):
You can't be on your phone drive.

Speaker 3 (40:53):
They tell you not the text and drive, she said.
You know what, they didn't say I couldn't zoom and drive.
I think, well she drove in zoomed, that's for sure
into another car.

Speaker 2 (41:02):
She's gonna have to go to a virtual driving class. Now,
Oh my gosh, stop dude. Honestly, skill issue.

Speaker 1 (41:08):
It's such just.

Speaker 2 (41:09):
A skill issue, dude, Like, what do you mean? Yeah,
that that is you unmuted your your call and then
what forgot everything going on around you? Yeah, that's maybe
you just shouldn't be a drive bang.

Speaker 1 (41:21):
And the thing is you're gonna be in trouble because
there were so many witnesses in there and they were
all in class with you. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (41:28):
I think I think there needs to be a rule
where if if you get a certain amount of accidents,
you just you're not.

Speaker 1 (41:33):
Allowed to drive anymore. I agree.

Speaker 2 (41:35):
I think I think there it can reset maybe after
a certain amount of time, after a couple of years,
you're getting into like ten car accidents in like three years,
you shouldn't.

Speaker 1 (41:44):
Be allowed to drive after a certain amount of years
and driving tool. Then you're allowed to drive again. For
every driving class you take, you can get like a
year back, like you know what I'm saying something like.

Speaker 2 (41:54):
That, Yeah, you gotta, you gotta, Yeah, you get reset,
you know, back to like a provisional like since anyway, Oh,
a deleted user says, I hosted this meeting and we
were discussing the next steps in a project we've collectively
been working on for the past month now. I normally
don't like muting people, and I think that awareness is

(42:14):
on the person, but I came very close to doing
just that. Pro tip if you're not the one speaking,
mute yourself when you're about to speak, unmute once finished,
mute yourself again. Anyway, I'm going over timelines and deliverables,
but I keep hearing this dog barking. From what I
can hear, I assumed it was at chiwahwah. I keep

(42:35):
going throughout the distraction, but stopped myself and asked, Hey, uh, Steve,
can you mute your mic please? We can hear your dog.
He says, yeah, sorry, bro, I'll mute it. But I
don't have a dog though, hahaha, all right, that a cat,
I thought about it for a quick second, and then
continued on my previous train of thought. In the middle

(42:57):
of making a point, about twenty seconds after I asked
Steve to mute, I said, wait, wait, wait, wait, Steve,
if you don't have a dog, what was barking back there?
He un mutes and says, yeah, I don't know, man,
maybe it's the TV. Others in the meeting said things like, dude, Steve,
that was definitely a dog, and Steve, I think you
might have a dog in your house. Steve says, hold on, guys,

(43:18):
just second, hold on. Already, including myself who set up
and organized this meeting, we all lost interest in talking
about this project.

Speaker 1 (43:26):
Yeah, barking.

Speaker 2 (43:29):
Steve's so chilly. He's like, yeah, I don't know. Sounds
like a dog. I don't have one, so I don't know.
It could be anything. Steve went off camera. We're making
jokes that Steve doesn't know a Chihuahua is in his
house and that Steve is being haunted by dogs. Finally
Steve comes back holding a toddler. He says, Hey, this
is the guy making the dog noises.

Speaker 1 (43:48):
I found him?

Speaker 3 (43:51):
Is it his? Did he just toddler?

Speaker 1 (43:54):
I found the noise.

Speaker 2 (43:56):
Shoot, give me that baby. I need to make an excuse.
I got Beverly Hills chill on the TV. I can't
let him know. I said, no, no, no, no, no, no,
there is no way. Steve asked the toddler, Hey, buddy,
can you make the dog gett nices again? And I
kid you not. The sound coming out of that baby
was not human. It was a full blown chihuahua. And

(44:18):
then Steve says the toddler ed, buddy, how about a
big dog. I'm just imagining Steve is Polly Shore at
this point, Hey baby, how about a big dog? Then
the little guy barked like a mastiff.

Speaker 1 (44:33):
What bark?

Speaker 2 (44:35):
I'm like, the range on this baby is incredible. We
spent the last half hour of an hour long meeting
making Steve's kid bark like a dog. Hell yeah, dude,
Steve's kids got a promising future.

Speaker 1 (44:50):
Out of him. He really does. Wow.

Speaker 2 (44:53):
Yeah, next time Hollywood gets one of those uppity, you know,
actor dogs and they're like, they don't want to bark,
they just want to go bow wow wow. And we're like, oh,
come on, we need you to buy it's not in
my contract. They can just get this kid, and he
can bark however they need him to.

Speaker 1 (45:09):
Bark, and he'll just do it for the love of
the game.

Speaker 2 (45:11):
We need a George Lopez Beverly Hills Chihuahua two style bark.

Speaker 1 (45:16):
Yeah, that is so fun.

Speaker 2 (45:17):
I like, how OPI was almost gonna move on, and
then wait, wait wait wait wait wait no, no, Steve,
you need to figure out what's barking in your house. Yeah,
I just he holds up the baby by like this collar. Yeah, no,
it's this. I found it, dude.

Speaker 1 (45:31):
I was in a zoom call with a guest and
I had a moment like this where you know those
chairs were like those the scorpion chairs that gamers have. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I was on this call with this guy and
he's like talking to me and everything and his backgrounds muted,
and I swear his background looked like he had one
of those things just arched behind him. And then near
the end of it, I was like, hey, man, what

(45:53):
is that behind you? I have? I cannot live on
with life until I know what is behind you. He's like,
oh yeah, and he shows me.

Speaker 2 (46:00):
And it's that thing and he has one.

Speaker 1 (46:01):
He's like, dude, I thought that that was what it was.
He said, yeah, man, I paid like seven grand for it,
got it here. It took like thirteen hundred dollars to
get shipped here from to Mediine, And uh, I never
use it.

Speaker 2 (46:14):
That's crazy. That's crazy to never use that.

Speaker 1 (46:19):
It's like, yeah, I would do meetings in it, but
it just looks weird when I'm like laid back and
everyone else is like not. Yeah, no one had ever
asked him about it.

Speaker 2 (46:27):
That's crazy.

Speaker 1 (46:28):
It's just like this like like blurb and then it's
just like arching over him.

Speaker 2 (46:32):
They were just afraid what they would what answer they
would receive, you know. To be fair, I've never I've
never felt like reclined laying back is like the optimal
gaming position in the matrix.

Speaker 3 (46:44):
Yeah, you're like the matrix.

Speaker 2 (46:45):
You're like yeah, but like even in the matrix, when
you leave back' you're getting plugged in, you're catatonic. I'm
not laying there position like looking up at a screen
like that feels terrible to me, unless I'm dude. I've
seen a page with this guy who has like a
flight simulator set up. Oh yeah, yeah, where it's like
the whole thing like actuates and I can move around
in like three hundred and sixty degrees and he like

(47:07):
flies like spaceships and stuff in it.

Speaker 1 (47:09):
Apparently, if you get really good at that, you can't
actually fly a real plane. It's just like it's like
doing it in real life. It's like going from practice
to a real game.

Speaker 2 (47:17):
Yeah, there's as crazy depends it depends.

Speaker 1 (47:20):
Yeah, that's fun.

Speaker 2 (47:21):
Oh hey, it's Dakota, your favorite good time boy host.

Speaker 1 (47:25):
Here.

Speaker 2 (47:25):
We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's three
minutes of ads from our sponsors. We've got another story
here from redacted g one itch probably supposed to be
glitch says. Teacher demanded that we stay in view with
the camera on. I had to use the bathroom. Teacher
said no, I can't leave the camera view. So I
said fine then and I took the computer into the

(47:47):
bathroom and was pooping on camera. Only the upper half
of me was visible, so nothing inappropriate was shown. However,
I did leave the mic on as per class policy.
Oh no, class was all dudes, and I was basically
famous for a day. The teacher never spoke about it again,
but now allowed us to leave for bathroom breaks.

Speaker 3 (48:09):
Wait to be a trend, You know what good good
for you, dude.

Speaker 2 (48:12):
I mean like sometimes man like, I mean, there's good
teachers out there, but like the bad teachers are the worst.

Speaker 1 (48:18):
They power trip.

Speaker 2 (48:19):
Yeah, the teachers, because that is like one of the
top positions for people who are just trying to power trip.
It's like teachers, lawyers, police officers are like the top
three people who just want to like care have power,
Karen and be able to wield it. And uh yeah,
good job you did. You did the lord's duty right there.

Speaker 1 (48:38):
You really did. You set the arbitraer in its placeture.

Speaker 2 (48:43):
We all know what I said. Hangar eighty five says
someone answered Mia Khalifa instead of Burge Khalifa to a
trivia question. That's rookie, that's rookie stuff. Who's out there, dude,
who's rookie?

Speaker 1 (48:55):
I don't know. I don't know.

Speaker 2 (48:57):
Nobody knows who it is.

Speaker 1 (48:58):
Who's that like whisky?

Speaker 2 (49:00):
Sure, yeah, they must be related anyways.

Speaker 1 (49:04):
Next one, that was the lame.

Speaker 2 (49:06):
Laura Barbora says, I didn't see it myself, but I
do work from home, and the company I work for
said that during a training session for new hires, a
woman had her camera and mic On pointed directly at
her while she was working on her onlyfan content during
her first day of training. Mind you, my company doesn't
require you to have your camera or mic on. They

(49:28):
can both be off if you aren't the one presenting
or hosting the meeting. They were all informed of this
when they joined the meeting. But this woman just full
on stripped and did things in front of the camera
and made noises too.

Speaker 3 (49:40):
Oh my god, do you think she did it on purpose?

Speaker 2 (49:43):
Yeah, that was all for the content.

Speaker 1 (49:44):
Yeah, I'll probably get more followers or whatever.

Speaker 2 (49:47):
I imagine what you did, though, was illegal in some capacity.
I was told the trainer tried to say, someone's camera
and mic are on, I'd appreciate it if you would
turn them off, they're not needed, repeated but she just
kept on taking her clothes off and shaking her chesticles
in front of the work laptop camera. So either this

(50:08):
woman didn't hear the trainer because she didn't have her
volume up, or she wanted an audience, or maybe she's
just a serious idiot. But it's not like she obviously
isn't tech savvy, so she didn't realize the camera and
mike were on. Ah, I think she did realize yeah,
I think she knows exactly what she was doing.

Speaker 3 (50:26):
She was giving you guys a free preview.

Speaker 2 (50:28):
I mean, she was in her late twenties making onlyfan content,
so I don't think she's an idiot either way. She
didn't make it past the first day of training.

Speaker 1 (50:37):
Hikes. That was a hard one. That was a hard read. Huh, well, wow,
that that has to be illegal. You could probably get
some OnlyFans dollars out of that.

Speaker 2 (50:48):
Yeah, that was illegal. I think what she did was
also prosecutable. Perhaps, I don't know. I don't know, but
you're not gonna get any You're gonna get a payday.

Speaker 1 (50:56):
Out of that. Ashley, she already got a full tom
Jo didlon.

Speaker 2 (51:00):
Herself self diddling, siddling, delfing, Okay, JP Money eighty one says,
probably too late to have anyone see this jokes on you.
But I was on a zoom call and the department lead,
a young woman who was presenting at the time, had
those thick framed trendy glasses. None of us were muted
as it was a pretty interactive informal meeting where lots

(51:22):
of ideas were shared. I guess one of the other
team member's husbands or boyfriends came into the room during
the call and didn't realize his partner was it muted.
During an unfortunate pause in the speaker's conversation, we all
heard loud as day, oh man, I would jiz on
those glasses.

Speaker 3 (51:38):
Yo oh yo.

Speaker 1 (51:41):
No no no no no no, no no no no no,
no no no.

Speaker 2 (51:44):
We all heard loud as day, oh man, I do
a spooge on those glasses.

Speaker 1 (51:51):
Immediately kick out. That's boozy.

Speaker 2 (51:54):
We all heard loud and clear.

Speaker 1 (51:55):
Oh man, I'll we get it, we get itep going,
I but.

Speaker 2 (52:02):
I'd uh no, I don't hear we I bust on
those by vocals. There we go, Okay, there we go.
The speaker paused momentarily as if to process what he
just heard, and then just continued the meeting as if
it never happened. I was absolutely rolling around on my
floor laughing and had to mute myself, while several other

(52:24):
coworkers did the same. It happened so quickly that nobody
caught who said it, and since the meeting wasn't recorded,
nobody could figure it out. Wow, and then it was
just a mystery forever.

Speaker 1 (52:34):
That's so funny. Oh my gosh, Why would you ever
say that out loud, maybe you could perhaps maybe think that.

Speaker 2 (52:42):
Those are inside thoughts, inside thoughts, inside thoughts. Sometimes we
have inside thoughts. Who another user says, uh, not terrifying,
But a coworker was literally zuited on the adderall and
it was so bad. Little background. I was the party
person at the company, a big company with a documentary

(53:04):
starts with a w wentist.

Speaker 1 (53:08):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (53:09):
So from time to time people would ask me for stuff.
I would always turn them down because I didn't want
to be the dealer person. I was just the guy
in the moment out of that, you know what, forget
it anyway, she hit me up for adraw and I
respectfully said I couldn't help her. The next morning, on
our stand up meeting at nine am, we all tuned

(53:29):
in on zoom and she was gone, absolutely gone. I
have no idea who she got it from, but it
was clear that she probably got it from someone who
has prescribed a high dose and she bought it. She
was so messed up on the call. It was awful
watching her speak. She wanted to speak. She talked about
mantras for like thirty minutes. For thirty minutes, she talked

(53:50):
about her desire to be a Buddhist and how we
should all do mantras in the morning. And honestly, it
was a nightmare, nightmare, nightmare, nightmare, nightmare.

Speaker 1 (53:58):
That's what you guys all said that, Oh, we'd gotten
her out of it.

Speaker 2 (54:01):
No one knew what to do, so we just watched. Meanwhile,
this girl was going a thousand miles an hour, her
jaw was going in different directions, but she could still talk.
It was bad. No one said anything, and people went
on with their lives, but no one ever forgot. Don't
do ederall. People don't do people's.

Speaker 1 (54:18):
Ederall noted, noted, won't, won't do that. That's true. But
if I needed a quick upity, I know where to go,
though I think I need some Honestly, what knew.

Speaker 2 (54:29):
Well, it has an opposite effect for people like me. Oh,
you know, people who don't have it and take it go.
People who do have it take.

Speaker 1 (54:41):
It and they go.

Speaker 2 (54:43):
Yes, my scribbles have stopped. My brain's already, my b
The inside of my brain looks like your hair.

Speaker 1 (54:49):
I I agree. You should probably go talk to a
doctor to see what they say. They might give you
some horse tranquilizer or something. Who knows what doctors give.

Speaker 2 (54:58):
Up have to do that I don't want, don't have
to do.

Speaker 1 (55:00):
Just to horse tranquilizers, Okay, Rhino dranquilizers.

Speaker 2 (55:03):
I don't want to do those either. They sell those
at the gas station. Maybe those are a different thing
with Rhino's. Oh boy, helly bb hi, Oh my god hi.
They say, one older guy sneezed and his camera immediately
blurred and we watched, Well, he smushed a booger with
a tissue to try and remove it.

Speaker 1 (55:22):
What's going the next one? No, no, I'm not imagine anything.

Speaker 2 (55:28):
No guy, and he's just like, oh my, it's just
the loudest sneeze ever. And then it's just like like
a cartoon. Is that better? Yes, mister Dinkowitz. All right,

(55:49):
we're going at a new says. Just last month, we
were having a class on sales and the professor started
complaining about her husband. He's also a faculty member in
the same department, who, according to her, can't sell anything
in real life, but pretends like he's the Wolf of
Wall Street. Well, he was right there in the class.
We were laughing our butts off. Surely she had no
clue he was there because his video was off. It

(56:10):
must have made for some pretty awkward confrontation after the class.

Speaker 1 (56:15):
Yikes, that's always fun.

Speaker 2 (56:17):
He's like, Babe, that was unbirthing you really, I told
you to always refer to me as the wolf outside
of our marriage.

Speaker 1 (56:24):
Yeah, and you're supposed to have mister Belferes call me
mister Wolf.

Speaker 2 (56:28):
And when I go, oh, you gotta.

Speaker 1 (56:30):
Go, he's the alpha. That's right.

Speaker 2 (56:32):
Those were are we agreed on that.

Speaker 1 (56:35):
I'm so sorry. I do have to use the restaurant.

Speaker 2 (56:37):
Now, why don't you go?

Speaker 1 (56:38):
All right, I'll see you guys in a second.

Speaker 2 (56:40):
Go piss girl.

Speaker 1 (56:41):
That's right.

Speaker 2 (56:42):
Oh, look boat ghost four twenty. That's ke On because
he's got ghosts four hundred and twenty days out of
the year. He says, got on the wrong call by
mistaking two numbers, and I caught my math teacher's wife
having cyber spicet bleeping with someone else. I quickly recorded
some of it and then joined the right meeting. However,

(57:03):
the math teacher was in the middle of class and
he said, I can't wait to see my wife when
I get home.

Speaker 1 (57:09):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (57:09):
So I had him put us in a second room
in the call, and I told him of course, me
being the class clown, trouble making seventeen year old student
I was. He didn't believe me and said, you shouldn't
joke like that. I immediately sent him the recording via email,
and he ended the entire call early and in a soft, broken,
almost crying voice, said he to go home. He ended

(57:30):
up divorcing his wife and she had to pay him
a massive sum in alimony because it turned out his
son wasn't actually his, it was his uncle's. What his
wife had been cheating on him with his uncle for years?
What I was even asked to go to court as
a witness to the adultery. Wow. I told him everything

(57:53):
and showed them the email I sent my math teacher.
When his wife's lawyer asked for proof, I hear. He's
doing well now and even got a new girl friend,
even though I do homeschool.

Speaker 1 (58:02):
Now they had to take you out of class. Question, so,
how in the world did you come upon this?

Speaker 3 (58:08):
Guess was gonna say, How did you put in the wrong?

Speaker 1 (58:11):
Two?

Speaker 3 (58:11):
Were they like in a zoom call together?

Speaker 2 (58:13):
I guess the wife and the the professor have a
very similar phone numbers. Maybe they were Maybe they were
two cuties where it's like your number will end in
two five four five and my and my and my
number will end in two five four four. Yeah, so
so we called.

Speaker 1 (58:29):
The wrong number, heard it, recorded it. What the hell?
Oh my god, that's wild, that's wild. Good for you man.

Speaker 3 (58:36):
This this kind of happened to me when I was
in high school. No way, not like I via zoom call.
But so we had a history teacher and he was like, oh,
I'm I'm engaged. I'm so happy to get you know,
like I'm gonna get married soon to my my future wife.
He's like out for like a couple of weeks, like
like a week at like ten days, okay, and we're like, hey,

(58:59):
so and mister so and so, what happened? And like
the guys hold demeanor like he was very fun, very chill,
like he let us watch movies and everything. His demeanor
was great. Totally changed when he came back from his
like hiatus, like sad MOPy depressed. Mean, we're like, dude,
like all of us were like because we're all freshmen,
We're like, yah, what happened? Like did he get divorced?
Or like I mean, did it happen? He's like he's

(59:21):
like a lot of rumors have been going around. I
caught my wife cheating on me or my my fiance
cheating on me. And after that full brown breakdown on
like during the class, had to walk out, had to
get a substitute. The next day, we started watching Pearl Harbor,
like the new the newer one, and there's like a
like as when like there's like a love scene in
it with Ben Affleck. He starts crying again during Pearl Harbor.

Speaker 2 (59:41):
Wow, that guy's one as a real American should dad guy.

Speaker 3 (59:45):
I feel so bad for him, But like after that
guy was never the same.

Speaker 2 (59:48):
Imagine his wife, she has fiance cheating on him with
Ben Affleck.

Speaker 3 (59:51):
Yeah, I remember. I just remember all of us were
like we're so sorry. Like we're like fourteen, like fifteen
years old kids, especially all boys school at a Catholic school,
and we're like what do we do?

Speaker 1 (01:00:01):
That's wild? Well is he doing okay?

Speaker 3 (01:00:03):
Now, don't know, I don't know, but that guy, that
guy was like again, are you walk into that classroom
the first like first day as a freshman, You're like,
oh my god, he's really cool, really funny, he cracks jokes,
he's like really excited to get married changed him. Yeah,
we all felt really bad. I think we all like
chipped in to get him like stuff.

Speaker 2 (01:00:19):
But hey, we chipped in. We got you a new wife.
We ordered her online. Yes, she's gonna get here any
day now.

Speaker 1 (01:00:25):
She was cheap. Yeah, anyways, that was that was crazy.

Speaker 2 (01:00:30):
Yeah wow, zoos uh user that doesn't go there, says So,
I've been on Zoom once. I got a job at
the beginning of the pandemic at a hospital and they
were doing the incoming employees' orientation online because of the VID.
So I don't have a cam on my computer. I
borrowed my wife's laptop. She was on Zoom with her

(01:00:52):
friends the night before and they were having some glasses
of wine together and she decided to change her screen name.

Speaker 1 (01:00:58):
I knew it was exactly where this was going.

Speaker 2 (01:01:02):
I long on to Zoom for the first time, trying
to figure things out, and joined the meeting, where everyone
was muted and things were fine right until the moderator says, oh,
I see Princess pretty Pants has joined. Can we please
change to our real names for attendance purposes? Everyone was muted.
I couldn't even explain. I just had to change from
that to my real name, and I never used Zoom again.

Speaker 1 (01:01:25):
I'm just imagining a very manly man having to change
that name.

Speaker 2 (01:01:29):
Yeah, I see, pretty, professor princesses here, can we can
we get our government names only? Please, dude. I just
remembered my own, my own story, but it wasn't my.
It was the person on the other side of the
Zoom call that was. It was crazy. I was working

(01:01:49):
I was working sales at this like solar company and
oh yeah, door yeah, and I was I was on
a onboarding like an interview an interview call on like Zoom,
and we're talking to this guy who was like, yeah,
I worked in like I worked at a prison and
I was in the cafeteria. And then like we were
kind of putting it together, We're like, this guy definitely
what was in prison and worked on the cafeteria because

(01:02:12):
he starts talking about how he was doing, like he
had done firefighting work or whatever. He was part of
a firefighting crew, which is like they do that in
the California Southwest, Like there's some programs make that prisoners
can be on fire teams. And we were like, yeah,
tell us a story of you, like you know, overcoming,
you know, like adversity of some kind, you know whatever.
So he starts busting out the story. He's like, yeah,

(01:02:32):
I got a story. And he's telling a story about
you know, how he's firefighting, and in our head we're like,
oh my god, he's gonna tell us. He's gonna tell
us something crazy, like he like saved somebody from like
a falling tree or like whatever. He could have truly
told us anything, like we didn't care if even if
it was if it was true. We just wanted a
good story. And he's leading there. He's like, yeah, so
I crawled into this area, right, it's like there's fire,

(01:02:53):
you know, we're fighting in whenever I got my stuff on,
I crawled into this area. I crawled into this tree,
and I realized the ground his little spongy here, and
it's like different. And he was like, I realized I
crawled into like a cougar den. So we're like, oh
my god, is this guy even tells a story of
him like fighting a cougar, Like this is gonna be
so crazy. And then he goes, yeah, so anyways, I
was looking for a place to go to the bathroom,

(01:03:14):
and we're like, oh god, where's what is he doing? Well,
he's fumbling it. Where's he going with this? He's like yeah,
So I like, I've got I got. I got in
there and I realized, oh man, I'm in a cougar den.
I should do this quick. So I pulled my pants
down and I went. I went and took care of
my business, and I went and did number two. We're like,
oh my god, why is this guy telling us this?
And he's like, cause I was in the cougar den,

(01:03:35):
I went faster than I should have and my butt
touched the ground. Anyway, a couple of days later, I
started getting this real, real nasty rash on my backside.
I had to go to the doctor and they told
me I had anal fungus. That was his story of
overcoming adversity. He took a crap in the woods, gave
himself anal fungus, and went to the doctor. That was

(01:03:57):
his story of overcoming adversity.

Speaker 3 (01:04:00):
Like that's I want to I want to be like
that guy.

Speaker 2 (01:04:03):
No, we were like, we were like, this is great. Anyways,
We're probably not gonna bring you on. And we were
like yeah, because honestly, because he did more than anything,
Like yeah, clearly that was bad, but he also lived
like an hour and a half away. We were like, yeah,
you're you're commute is not going to work, Like that's
not that's you can't do this. But also yeah, I

(01:04:26):
mean truly had free reign to be like I've dragged
two of my brothers like at Burning on Fire. Yeah,
Like we just wanted to know, can you sell yourself
right now?

Speaker 1 (01:04:37):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:04:37):
No, and post I did not.

Speaker 1 (01:04:38):
I don't know if that's adversity that just kind of
happened to you and you had to deal with it.

Speaker 2 (01:04:41):
Yeah, that's like. That's the other thing is it's like
you just told a story about how you were so
bad at pooping that you gave yourself fungus on your butthole. Yeah,
like that's not really uh a story you tell someone
you want to give you a job.

Speaker 1 (01:04:58):
Wow, that that is that's crazy.

Speaker 2 (01:05:01):
Yeah, so that would be my crazy zoom zoom call experience.
I kind of felt bad for the guy because we
liked him until that. Yeah, I mean we still were
gonna give him the job because we were gonna be like,
you know, we're pretty sure you're just lying to us
about having been in prison. But like we get it
but a job, we would have caught that on a
background check and would have asked you about it anyway,
So it was a bad move to lie to us

(01:05:23):
about that. But yeah, and I mean like and like
his vibe when he finished was fully like and I
crushed that, didn't I? And I just crushed that, dude.
I bet these guys guys can't wait to hire me.
Now there's a story from professional professor Schneebley says a
guy was sleeping on a conference call at work with

(01:05:44):
like fifty five people on it. I was trying to
show a friend for a laugh because he wasn't on
the main screen, but I accidentally clicked spotlight in Microsoft teams,
so it put him full screen for everyone, overtaking the presentation.
Whoopsie Daisy, that's that's yeah, just a full fully blown
just someone zonking out classic. I knew a guy who

(01:06:07):
could fall asleep with his eyes open? You ever seen that?

Speaker 1 (01:06:10):
I have? It looks real freaking scary, terrifying. It really
is scary, Like do you actually get rest from that?
Or I don't know?

Speaker 2 (01:06:18):
Yeah, I mean, like, what is that? What is waking
up like that? Like Semi Madman says, nothing too crazy,
but definitely bizarre. I was in a meeting and one
of the participants was outside, not sure if it was
a park, a ranch, or where there's an animal in
the background looked like a rabbit or a big ground squirrel,
And all of a sudden, a big eagle swoops down,

(01:06:39):
plucks it up, and flies off with it, kind of
like a National geographic scene. Oh my god. The girl
had no idea what had happened. Oh my god, just
sitting there in zoom like being like, wow, that is
a big rabbit behind that girl.

Speaker 1 (01:06:56):
Oh my god, dude, that's so sad. And then you
have to be like you ring.

Speaker 2 (01:07:02):
Here's your wick.

Speaker 3 (01:07:05):
Other nature is wild.

Speaker 1 (01:07:06):
It is. It is very doggy's dog out there.

Speaker 2 (01:07:10):
The same story as Sophia's chicken story.

Speaker 1 (01:07:13):
Oh god, where the bird.

Speaker 2 (01:07:15):
The bird came and took the chicken away and then
dropped it in the backyard.

Speaker 1 (01:07:19):
I can't even say chicken around her because she gets.

Speaker 3 (01:07:22):
She gets PTSD.

Speaker 1 (01:07:24):
All do you think she gets PTSD. She's blocked out
of her memory. Yes, we have three witnesses that said
this did happen.

Speaker 3 (01:07:30):
And she doesn't. She's like, Nope, that didn't happen, and she's.

Speaker 1 (01:07:32):
Always right, so it's hard for her to accept it.

Speaker 2 (01:07:34):
So check gun check gun straight slip eighty eight ninety seven,
says an R on one of the floors of my
dorm building. Had an online class a week ago. It
turns out she is a bit of a nuisance, especially
to professors. This girl joined the zoom with her mic
automatically turned on, then left her computer to go and
rant to someone, presumably a roommate about the professor calling

(01:07:57):
her every name under this sun.

Speaker 1 (01:07:58):
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 2 (01:07:59):
The professor heard every word and began sobbing and profusely
apologizing over the student's criticism. No, everyone in the class
kept telling this girl to shut up and mute herself,
but she either wasn't paying attention or wasn't close enough
to her computer to think they were talking to her directly.
While this fiasco was going on, another classmate I knew

(01:08:22):
joined late and there he wasted. Having no clue what
was going on, they asked bluntly, why the ef are
we sitting here watching her cry? Making the professor cry
even harder? Just comes in like, why why are we all?
What's going on here? This is wild dude, Dude who
made this professor cry, why should be in such a baby?

Speaker 1 (01:08:44):
Ah dude, I mean, good for him, he's saying it straight.
No one should be doing that's not very humane. Yeah,
we were not people during that time.

Speaker 2 (01:08:52):
So why are we all sitting here watching her? What
are we doing?

Speaker 1 (01:08:55):
We can stop, we have the power to stuff.

Speaker 2 (01:08:58):
He's just like, can we leave? Are we doing in
class today or not?

Speaker 3 (01:09:01):
That's hurting right now? And this is the last thing
I wanted. I came in late and this is the
first thing I come into.

Speaker 1 (01:09:08):
What a which.

Speaker 2 (01:09:09):
By the end of it, the professor had to mute
the girl herself while the rest of the class tried
to comfort her. I have no clue if the ra
is allowed back in the class or if she's even
still in roa. Either way, bad move.

Speaker 1 (01:09:21):
She had the power to mute her the whole time
and just let it happen.

Speaker 2 (01:09:24):
I'm not gonna lie, folks, I feel little to no
empathy for that teacher. You're just you're not cut out
for it. Bro.

Speaker 1 (01:09:30):
You gotta have thick skin, and you just let someone
talk about you like that, and you just you're just crying.
You're probably crying. She was probably crying for like ten
fifteen nights and she didn't do anything to stop this.

Speaker 2 (01:09:40):
This is the same thing where I was like, yeah,
I'm annoyed at the person who's like their kid is
choking and they're just going it's like, no, we can't.
We gotta do something. If the kid is just calling
you every name under the sun and it upsets you,
and you have the power to go click and mute them.

Speaker 1 (01:09:59):
Do that.

Speaker 2 (01:10:00):
I don't care. I do not care. You've done it
to yourself now. A deleted user says a week ago,
I was doing a study group with my friends and
my male bestie was trying to access our study guide.
But when he opened Chrome, we started seeing his search history.
His last name starts with a P, and he found
an adult website in the search bar and accidentally opened

(01:10:21):
it due to a mis click.

Speaker 3 (01:10:23):
No or yes.

Speaker 2 (01:10:26):
We were both in shock, and he quickly defended himself.
Apparently he was using his dad's computer for the first
time in years. It was hilarious, though, Oh.

Speaker 1 (01:10:36):
Dude, yeah, I don't know what's worse that you looked
it up or your dad looked at it.

Speaker 2 (01:10:41):
Yeah. I was about to say, it's like not making
it much better, being like no, it's just my dad.
He's a jorkler. My dad is a certified gooner. My
dad has a gooning problems.

Speaker 1 (01:10:52):
That's tough.

Speaker 2 (01:10:53):
I come from a long line of gooner's user Sisseler says,
our silver Silver Silfer said on Tuesdays and Thursdays, my
school has a camera on day where anyone in online
classes is asked to turn on there camera for the day.
I watched a guy in my class take a ferret
bong rip and then cough out a huge cloud. He

(01:11:16):
was on mute and the teacher had his back to
the screen, so the teacher didn't notice people in the class.
Chat just said his name and nothing else.

Speaker 1 (01:11:25):
So when the.

Speaker 2 (01:11:26):
Teacher looked at the chat and asked us what the
guy did, we just said he made a goofy face
to the camera.

Speaker 1 (01:11:32):
Hell yeah, fat.

Speaker 3 (01:11:33):
He was waiting a class class past the vibe check.

Speaker 1 (01:11:36):
Honestly, yeah, yeah, he was waiting for the teacher to
turn his back. He's like, he's like, that's hilarious. That's
a good one. That's a good one.

Speaker 2 (01:11:46):
I don't want to say this name, Rudolph Kittler. It's
just far enough away, but also just close enough says,
I have a coworker named Jayden who for a long
time made work far more stressful than it ever needed
to be. He is extremely com competitive and constantly feels
the need to call people out, especially me. Whenever he
points out an issue with my work, he never explains

(01:12:06):
what I did wrong or how I could improve it.
Instead of offering feedback or guidance, he simply says my
work is wrong and reports me directly to higher management.

Speaker 1 (01:12:16):
That is useful, Thank you.

Speaker 2 (01:12:17):
We love good constructive criticism in this house.

Speaker 1 (01:12:20):
That is like the most effective.

Speaker 2 (01:12:22):
It always felt less like teamwork and more like he
was trying to make himself look better at my expense.
My role in the company is to review cvs and
determine whether candidates are qualified for the open positions available.
It requires careful attention to detail, consistency, and fairness. I
take my job seriously and always try to do my
work properly. I am also not someone who enjoys confrontation,

(01:12:45):
particularly in a professional setting, because I believe arguing with
coworkers creates a toxic environment. Because of this, I usually
let Jayden's behavior slide and focus on my tasks. Over time,
though dealing with his constant criticism and lack of constructive
feedback started to wear me down. After about three months,
it was taking a noticeable toll on my motivation and
mental well being at work. One day, our manager scheduled

(01:13:07):
the team meeting and told us we would wait around
five minutes for everyone to join before starting. When the
zoom call began, only a few of us were present, me, Jaden,
our manager, Beverly, and another female coworker. Beverly started in
the same position as me, but was promoted due to
her strong performance and long history with the company nice.
She is calm, professional, and well respected by the entire team.

(01:13:29):
At the beginning of the call, Jaden said he needed
to attend to an emergency and asked us to wait.
Five minutes passed, then another five, and he had still
not returned. Instead of continuing to wait, Beverly decided to
start discussing some work related topics so we could make
use of the time. Suddenly, Jaden's camera turned on, to
everyone's shock, he was completely shirtless and holding a large

(01:13:51):
bowl of food. His belly was fully visible to the
entire team. He had a background blur filter on, which
made him the main focus on screen with nothing to
distract from what we were seeing.

Speaker 1 (01:14:08):
An emergency. This is what happened. This is what happened.
Whenever you press the spacebar, you can unmute yourself. Yeah,
but that's because like it's like correlated as a click.
If you press tab on accident, it'll move from the
from the mute button to the camera button. So if
you press spacebar, the camera will show. So he pressed
the space bar on accident while the icon was on

(01:14:29):
the camera thing.

Speaker 2 (01:14:31):
That's how this happened. Okay, okay, he did have an emergency, though,
it's a big ball of his belly was a window empty.

Speaker 1 (01:14:38):
My bowie is empty. I got to fill it up.
I'm gonna fill my belly up.

Speaker 2 (01:14:43):
Oh. Every person on the call was forced to look
directly at him. Moments later, his microphone turned on and
he shouted several curse words. Right after that, we watched
him rush towards his computer and start yelling at a
kid who, I assume it accidentally turned on the camera
and microphone. Watching all of this unfold during a professional

(01:15:04):
meeting felt unreal. The meeting went completely silent. No one
knew how to react. Beverly paused for about five seconds,
which felt painfully awkward, and then continued the meeting with
impressive professionalism, acting as if nothing had happened. Meanwhile, I
was laughing so hard I had to mute myself.

Speaker 1 (01:15:22):
Oh gosh.

Speaker 2 (01:15:23):
Almost immediately coworkers started messaging me on Slack asking if
I had seen what had just happened. Several of them
admitted they were also frustrated with Jaden and had experienced
similar issues with his behavior. Dang, what he's the company Kuk,
company cook man, everyone's got one. It was oddly Hey.

Speaker 1 (01:15:43):
Why well what Kean? Would you have to say?

Speaker 3 (01:15:46):
Nothing?

Speaker 2 (01:15:47):
Nothing? He just just called me the company kuk. That's
all you called him that. Win didn't call him anything,
call me the company Cooke.

Speaker 3 (01:15:52):
I didn't do anything at Wind.

Speaker 2 (01:15:54):
I love you, I love you.

Speaker 1 (01:15:55):
What is happening?

Speaker 3 (01:15:56):
He said? Every company has one?

Speaker 2 (01:15:58):
I said every company has when I need to do this.

Speaker 1 (01:16:00):
I mean, Kean has a point, But guess what they
go to?

Speaker 3 (01:16:05):
You are our company?

Speaker 1 (01:16:06):
Well we you may may not just be you anymore.

Speaker 3 (01:16:11):
Yeah, it's getting delegated.

Speaker 1 (01:16:12):
Yep.

Speaker 2 (01:16:13):
I think dyslexia is very kooky. To be fair, it's
not it's kooky crazy.

Speaker 1 (01:16:18):
It does make quirky I do say wild things, but
I'm not always being wild.

Speaker 2 (01:16:23):
Yeah you are, try to be Yeah, I heard you
like the wild one.

Speaker 1 (01:16:26):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (01:16:27):
Anyways, right, uh okay, Oh my god, everyone's shut up
about Jadeen jeeves h. It was oddly comforting to know
I was not alone and feeling this way. Even though
the incident itself was simple, it was incredibly satisfying. After
that meeting, Jaden noticeably stopped calling people out and acting
superior at work. Not long after, he was laid off

(01:16:49):
due to poor performance and ongoing behavior problems. I honestly
believe that incident played a role in the decision. Later,
Beverley told me privately that she disliked him as well,
and that he had been difficult even before she became
a manager. Hearing that felt dalidating. In the end, it
felt like karma had finally caught up to him. The
entire situation was awkward, unexpected, and strangely suntisfying. And that

(01:17:12):
is the end of a zoom called gloom call Wowie
zowie bow.

Speaker 1 (01:17:19):
All right, what do we think, guys? Do we like
these zoom calls? What a cock? Yeah, poor Jaden, Jaden's
coock cost. I know a Jaden, and he was also
pretty highstrung and a little weird.

Speaker 2 (01:17:32):
Like an actual Jaden or just like a guy who's
like Jayden.

Speaker 1 (01:17:35):
His name was Jayden and he was like this.

Speaker 2 (01:17:39):
No I knew a Jaden. And after school in middle school,
we'd go over to his dad's house and his parents
were divorced and his dad really didn't care what we did,
and we did too many things. We were playing with
butterfly knives, we were using power tools and flamethrowers.

Speaker 1 (01:17:54):
Sounds pretty sick.

Speaker 2 (01:17:55):
Yeah, I only went over there a couple of times.

Speaker 3 (01:17:57):
It was a weird vibe.

Speaker 2 (01:17:58):
It was also like an infant baby that we had
to take care of and look after as well. So
so the infant was also on the go karts and
around the flame throwers and the power tools, but we
kept it safe. We were like, hey baby, why don't
you check out this sick butterfly knife.

Speaker 3 (01:18:14):
Trick, Hey baby, do some bars for us.

Speaker 2 (01:18:18):
Hey baby, want to check out this sick knife.

Speaker 1 (01:18:20):
Hey baby, let's go do a donut and a golf cart. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:18:23):
No, they had like it was like a buggy. It
was like, no, it was like a dune buggy like it.
It was like a fully motorized vehicle and we were
just whipping it around at like thirteen Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:18:32):
Expect but everyone, that's the end of our stories for today.
If you enjoyed it, please let us know. We'll do
more just like this, So if you love us, make
sure to subscribe.

Speaker 2 (01:18:40):
We love you and see you tomorrow.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}I caught my teacher CHEATING… what should I do? | Craziest Zoom Call Experiences | Reddit Stories | EP2650