September 21, 2025 • 31 mins
Ben has sent DeAnna off to a concert to test out her flirting skills! It's time to get back into the swing of things! Did she meet anyone or strike out horribly?
Ben is getting into the nitty-gritty of what turns DeAnna on, and off! What kind of man is she attracted to, and what gives her the ick? We’re searching for her perfect man after she gives us the details!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
iHeart Podcasts bring you the ultimate Summer of Love Tree.
This is famously available. Welcome back the on it to
the podcast. Now. Recently we sent you to Wingo Tango.
It's an amazing concert. I've been many times. That was
back in May, and you got to hang out at
the beach and start to see what you like, what
(00:23):
you're interested in. Again, today we're here as we get
this whole thing kicked off to kind of figure out
what your type is, or for our listeners to just
understand more what your type is. So let's start with
just the overview of everything. How was Wingo Tango.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Oh, it was a lot of fun. I haven't been
to a concert in a really long time, and it
was so fun. I really, all I care about is
squin Stephanie, and I was just hoping she would play
some of her old school No Doubt stuff. So it
was actually really funny because Rachel and Genevieve, who are
significantly younger than I am, were there and we had
(01:01):
I mean we were right next to the stage. We
were like just having the best time ever. And some
of her newer stuff the girls knew, but when she
started playing some of that No Doubt stuff. The girls
were like, yeah, no, I have no clue what this
song is. Said here I am living my best almost
forty four year old life and she's playing like all
of my high school favorites and we knew every single
word and we're jumping up and down, and poor Genevieve
(01:21):
she was like, yeah, I don't know this song at all,
Like she had no clue any of the songs that
Gwyn was playing.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
So Genevieve is one of my favorite people, by the way,
that I've ever hung out with in Vacherination. She is hilarious,
and then you got to see Rachel as well. The
two of them together is a power team. Did they know?
Do they know your current situation that you are mingling
and looking to potentially find a nice little dating partner.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Genevieve was a little confused. So that was the first
time that I met Genevieve, And yes, she's delightful, and
she also was on the prowl, so you know, we
were like working beside each other to try and find
anything remotely attractive. And Rachel I adore and she's also
super great. But Rachel knows about the podcast and was
super stoked Genevieve. I kind of had to explain a
(02:14):
little bit what was going on, and she was like, okay, cool, yeah,
let's find you a husband. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no no no, I'm in it for different reasons this
time around. So but Rachel, yeah, she was on the
prow for me because it has been so long been
since I have been in the dating scene that I
(02:35):
kind of didn't know what to do. Like, I'm pretty
good on my own, I'm pretty fun I'm funny, I
like to have a good time, but like, I don't
know how to interact with the opposite sex anymore, I'm
realizing because I haven't dated in so long, and Rachel
was like on the lookout, trying to find me anyone
to flirt with, any cute guy to talk to, and
(02:56):
I just like it was like I clammed up and
I frozen. I didn't know what to do.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
Okay, that's where we're going to start then, because I
think this is a very relatable and interesting topic. I
didn't love dating. I didn't I wasn't great at it.
It made me a lot more anxious than what I
think was healthy. I would have good sometimes really good
times on dates, but leading up to those dates, it's
(03:23):
all I can think about, Like I just couldn't like
roll in, relax and have a good time. So this
is a skill set. I think it is a muscle
that needs to be practiced and worked on to get
back out there again. You haven't done it. Let's just
call it what it is. You're not great at dating
right now because you haven't done it in so long.
How are you going to get okay at dating again?
(03:43):
How are you going to get this muscle flexed and
worked out?
Speaker 2 (03:47):
I don't know, Ben, and I believe that our listeners
are going to be quite surprised to hear this because
you're talking to two people here who went on national
television to date and find they're forever lasting love. So
I always think that, and I'm I'm relatively an outgoing
human being. I'm very extroverted. I thrive on being with
(04:07):
friends and being able to do social events and stuff
with other people. But I am with you. I didn't
love dating even when I was single, and I actually
didn't love it when I was a bachelorette because I
found it very hard to focus on multiple people at
a time. I'm not a very good serial dater at that,
like I don't. I can't focus really on more than
(04:29):
one person at a time, and I most of that
is just myself because I'm incredibly loyal and I need
to just have one one thing, one man, one person
to kind of put my time in energy in. I'm
not very good at like disassociating when it comes to
one person to another, to another and all of that.
And I also don't like dating in the sense of
(04:51):
going and sitting down at dinner and having to get
to know someone you know like, which is weird for
me because I truly can get to know a wall. Ben,
like you could sit here for the next forty five
minutes and not say a word and I'll believe this
and be like, Ben is so great. We just had
the most wonderful conversation ever.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Please do job very easy.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
See see, So I can get to know someone and
I can do a date. And I guess that's why
I'm drawn to this Ben doing the podcast where someone
else will do the betting for me, hopefully some good betting,
and send me on dates with some really great people
that a connection might be there. Because I'm also not
I'm one of those women that I believe that chivalry
(05:30):
is not dead. I'm not necessarily the girl in the
grocery store who walks up to the handsome guy and
is like, oh my god, hello, I'm divorce and single,
are you Like? I don't do that. I wait to
be approached, and I like for the man to be
a man and to take the lead. I very much
want that. I think that I am. I have so
(05:50):
many parts of my life that I have to be
really organized and I have to be in charge of
and I have to lead all of those places and
those pieces in my career and with the kids and
paying bills and things like. I have to be an adult.
And I think that the one thing that I have
always desired in a relationship is for a man to
do that part. I would love to be. And I'm
(06:13):
going to use the word submissive, which I hate because
I am not a submissive human being. Like I'm very
much I'm a very strong, independent woman. But I think
there is a place in a relationship that I've always crazed, craved,
I'm sorry for a man to take the lead. That's
the one place I don't really want to have to
be in charge. And maybe that's why I'm still here,
(06:34):
although you know, I haven't been able to find that.
But and maybe that's ultimately why I went on the
Bachelor and became the bachelorette. It was a unique space
to meet someone to hopefully have a long lasting relationship,
and so that's why I jumped on this opportunity too,
because you know, when I'm at home, I have my kids,
and when I'm at work, I'm traveling the world. And
I love both of those pieces of my life and
(06:57):
I'm in charge of those pieces, and those pieces I
can control, but I don't necessarily go out and meet
guys to date to have that kind of part of
my life. And so maybe that's why I jumped on
this being able to do the podcast, because I like
being able to give that control to you or anyone
else that set me up on a date and hopefully
(07:17):
it's somebody really great and it turns into something and
I don't have to do the legwork to get there.
Does that make sense?
Speaker 1 (07:23):
It makes a lot of sense. There's a lot of
questions I want to ask from what you just said,
but I think through this process, you know, you and
I are just getting familiar with each other. And how
this is going to work. I've always believed with any
of my girlfriends who are still single or have been
single and have been a part of my life, my
job is to not spew advice. One I don't have
like the ultimate advice to give everybody. But I can
(07:47):
ask questions that sometimes ruffle feathers, that sometimes bring to
light maybe something you said or something you're doing to
make us all think about it, and maybe you can
convince me you know this is the right way to
do it. I think the first part of this is
you have just laid out your life currently and on
the last time we sat down, you laid that same
(08:08):
life out and you said, I have these kind of structures,
these parts of my life where I have my kids
and I'm focused on my kids and I love my kids.
I have my job and I'm focused on my career
and I love my career, and I get to travel
the world. And then I have this really fun time
where like maybe those two things aren't happening at you know,
neither of them are existing for a couple of days,
(08:28):
and you really love your alone time. Where are you
going to find the space or let's ask you the
question that I think so many want to know, do
you actually want to find the space again?
Speaker 2 (08:39):
I do. I do, Actually, I really do. Something that
I've said from the moment that I decided I was
ready to start it to date again, because I think
I shared with you before, I wasn't in that capacity
for a really long time. I really chose and I
have done this throughout every relationship that I've had. I
really sit in a space of myself and find my again,
(09:00):
and I really grieve that stuff. I am not one
to go back to relationships like once they are done,
they're done for me. I'm not someone who lives in
the past. I heard this recently that when you the
past is depression, right to past his depression, future is
anxiety that we all have to live in the present,
right And I don't go back. I don't when relationships
(09:23):
come to an end, I don't go back. And I
really utilize that space to sit with myself and to
grieve and to find myself again and learn how to be,
you know, and myself a woman alone, you know what
I mean. And I'm really okay with that. So I
didn't date for a really long time. I didn't have
any interest in it. I was with Stephen for fifteen years.
(09:44):
I was really at a loss when that marriage came
to an end, and I think that that's okay. I
had no desire to jump into another relationship, to focus
on another human being, to pour into them, to make
them feel loved and cared for, because I needed to
do that for myself. I needed to do that for
my children. They had been through a lot. And so
I am just now in a space where I feel
(10:07):
like I am personally ready to open that up. And
for me, that's really great, and I feel really, you know,
powerful in saying that, because I would have been doing
not just myself a disservice, but another human being before
a disservice, to just utilize them for a period of time.
Because now I can say that I'm ready to do
that now, I understand your question about clarity with my career, right.
(10:33):
I'm not opposed to having someone that I genuinely care
about in my children's life. It just had to be
the right person. So, and what I mean by that
is that I don't want a revolving door for my children.
In no way, shape or form. I need to date
someone for a significant period of time before I have
them even around my children at all, you know, And
(10:58):
that's something that I can control, and that something that
I will do for myself and for them, and I
believe that that is really important to them. I do
not want them to see every person that I date.
I don't want them to see a revolving door of
men come in and out of my house. They don't
need a stepdaddy, right they have a dad. So I
am going to be really picky about that person that
I choose to invest my time in, let alone have
(11:21):
around my children. So I think once that groundwork is there,
then it will be easier for me to make those
spaces in my life combined right with my children, someone
to live in my daily life, and I really want that.
In the meantime, I might have to get creative, you know,
and the times that I am home and I'm not
(11:43):
working and I don't have my children, that's a great
time for me to date. Or I have always really
wanted a partner that would like to travel the world
with me. I love my job, Ben, and I love
to travel the world. I love to see different cultures,
different parts of the world. For parts of the United States.
I live for that and I have always genuinely wanted
(12:07):
someone who would enjoy doing that with me, and I've
never had that. I've never ever had that, not even
in my marriage. And so I also think that if
that's a place for creativity, if I'm able to find
someone that I really like, why not meet me when
I'm in Cabo and date in Mexico. Why not meet
me when I'm across the world in South Africa and
let's go on a safari. I would really like to
(12:30):
meet someone that has the ability to do that. The
financial stability to do that would also be really cool.
I'm not looking to be someone's sugar Mama Ben. I
realized that might come as a shock. Yeah, you know,
and that's a big ask.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
I realized that's a big ask for someone.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Before we start the rapid fire here and kind of
diving into what you're most attracted to, I want to
remind you of something. It has been fifteen sixteen years
since you were in the dating pool, and as you
were talking, I reminded myself of this. And in fact,
about six months ago, I had a friend who's thirty one.
She was wanting to find relationships so bad. She's always
(13:20):
struggled with it, and she called me and said, I've
met somebody and I think this is the right person
for me. And here's why they think it's the right
person for them. And I actually think this is simple
and brilliant all at the same time. And it's something
we forget because you know, we'll talk about red flags
in a bit. We'll talk about, as the kids say today,
the ick. What gives you the ick? Like those things
(13:42):
that throw you off. Here's how she knew. And they're
gonna get married. They're engaged now. She wanted to be
around that person you just said it. Like the space.
There'll be people you date where you're like, I really
have no desire to see them tomorrow on my off day,
But then all of a sudden, there might be somebody
that comes through You're like, oh my gosh, I cannot
wait to see that person. Like this isn't a responsibility,
(14:05):
this isn't a burden, this isn't a struggle. And I
want to remind you of that because it's been a bit.
But that feeling does exist, and I think it really
is a big factor on is this the right person
or not? Do I want to see them tomorrow or
the next.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
Day, I a thousand percent agree with you, because I
only barely dipped my toe into dating in the last year.
I tried the dating apps for a hot minute that
was it's just worse than anything else in the whole world.
Ben But I remember saying that to myself. You know,
my girlfriends were super excited for me, because thankfully, my
friends think I'm pretty great, and they would like for
me to find someone really great. And when I would
(14:42):
go on a date, they'd be like, oh, you know,
what do you think, Or like when I would come
home from a trip, you know, a guy would be like,
let's go get dinner. And I would say that to myself.
If I really liked someone, I would want to hang
out with them. I would want to use my spare
time to be with them. And I have not experienced that.
When I come home from a trip, I have not
found anyone. Not that I've dated a lot, Okay, only
(15:02):
a few people, but none of those few people have
I come home from a trip and thought I'd love
to go out and see that person and grab dinner. No,
I couldn't wait to take my shoes off and lie
on my own couch and make myself dinner and eat
alone and watch what I wanted on television, like I
knew in my heart of hearts that should tell me something.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
I agree, No, I think that's a good marker. We
are going to work our hardest to find you some
incredible people to date, and you will date them, and
they might be incredible and you might have something with
them or you might not. That is not the pressure
that you need to feel or should feel. That's part
of dating. And I think that's what's so fun about
this show is going to give people an insight. And
(15:38):
as you said, you're great at describing and explaining your
feelings and your emotions and your thoughts on what you
were into and what you weren't. And I think a
lot of people are going to relate with it when
they listen and say, wait, I felt that same way.
Now she's putting words to what I felt in a
way I could never do it. And that's what I'm
excited about. But I want to dive in here, uh
(16:00):
to find out kind of what we're looking for when
we go out here on our search. It's not going
to be a hard search. I have a feeling there's
going to be many men going hey, I would like
to date her. But let's start with an easy softball question.
When I ask you, who is your celebrity crush, first
person that comes to mind.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
I hate this question. Then I don't have one.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
I truly, yes, you do. Who do you find attractive? Then?
Are you a George Clooney? Are you a brad person?
Speaker 2 (16:27):
Are you no?
Speaker 1 (16:30):
Who was I looking at the other day that I
was like, goodness, that dude is handsome.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
I mean, they're handsome. I think this is Okay, let me.
This is a bad question for me because in my
career I have flown a lot of celebrities and I
am not I'm the least fangirl kind of person. I
never had that. You know, everybody has that like list
that that that list that even if you were with someone,
you could sleep with those people your crush. I just, yeah,
I don't have any of that. I really don't. Like.
(16:54):
I can appreciate handsome, but like, yeah, I've never thought
I want to haul pass to be able to sleep
with bread.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Okay, that's fair. Okay, Then let's start with this you
mentioned on the last episode, and it's clear to your
friends and your followers and your fans that your faith
is really important to you, and it is not just
a faith of words, but this is a not only
a lifestyle. This has your relationship with your faith has
changed your life from the inside out. So as a result,
(17:26):
is faith a massive I don't want to say issue
that makes face sound like an issue. Is faith important
to you and your next partner?
Speaker 2 (17:33):
It's very important for me if I am going to
date someone long term and have a long term relationship, partnership,
companionship with someone. Yeah, I ideally would like to date
someone who believes in God and believes in Jesus. That's
what I do. I want. I envision myself to holding
a man's hand at church on Sundays like I would
(17:54):
really love that. So ultimately, long term for me, those
things have to coincide.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Yeah, And I think it's it adds a depth to
the relationship. How in the world are you supposed to
confront any type of difficult conversation if the two of
you aren't coming from a similar place. And this is
what we believe about humans, and this is what we
believe about the world around us. So I do think
it adds a depth for long standing relationships.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
Yeah, I start my day in prayer, and I end
it in prayer, and I would love to do that
with someone.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
I think that's fair. Okay, that's good. That's a really
good marker. As we begin this, and you know, in
the same breath we've seen it. You know more and
more where you know there's single dads out there, they're
they're wanting to date, and they're they're speaking the same
kind of language you're speaking, where it's like, I don't
I want to date, but I don't know if I
(18:44):
have the time or the space, the abilities. When you
think about a single dad with kids, still raising children,
is that something that's attractive to you. Is that something
that's just the Hey, that's cool, or is this a no,
a non starter like I can't also add in those kids.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
No, it's super attractive to me, been for many reasons.
For starters. They will understand what I'm going through. They
will understand my lifestyle. They will understand that some days,
a date does not mean dinner at six o'clock. It
means let's grab coffee after we drop our children off
at school. Let's get lunch on Wednesday, because our children
don't get out until two thirty in the afternoon. So
for me, that's really attractive for that like scheduling piece,
(19:24):
but also for someone who doesn't have children, they'll, I mean,
and I say this in the kindest way possible, They're
never going to be able to understand when I say, no,
you know what, my children need me tonight, I can't
meet you this evening. They might be kind about it,
but for me, I think that there will come a
point where that will become a point of resentment because
(19:45):
I'm always going to choose my kids over someone else.
I'm just going to I'm their mom and those are
my kids. So there's also that emotional piece that for me,
a single dad is going to understand that that first
and foremost, I'm a single mom and my children are
really important to me, and a single dad we'll also
get that. So there's a scheduling piece, there's the emotional piece,
and then I would like to think at some point,
(20:06):
if it gets to that, then there's the piece of
combining families, you know what I mean. Like that, ultimately,
if I'm looking really far down the road and I
don't have anyone, you know what I mean. But in
my mind, when I'm looking at the long term and
down the road of things. That's what I would like
to have. Someone who understands parenthood because again I've shared
with you, I don't want more children. I will be
(20:27):
forty four this year. I have no desire to be
pregnant again and breastfeeding for another year year and the
lack of sleep and up every few hours. You know
it very well, Ben, I don't have a desire to
do that again. But I think I can be a
really incredible stepmom. I think I can.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
Yeah. I think it's always so beautiful no matter what
life has brought. You know, these people together to see,
you know, you go to the zoo and you see
you can tell two families having fun. Usually the kids
are very similar in age, which doesn't like always get
to exist when you know, because you wait a year
or two years to have your next kid. So sometimes
(21:04):
there's like similar age groups that can play together and
have fun together. I think it's a beautiful thing. And
I get what you're saying too. When it talk when
you talk about space and when you talk about obligations,
and when you talk about the things that are important
to you, somebody with kids will get that. They'll understand it.
It won't have to be explained to them. They'll be like,
I get it. Yeah, that's fine. Actually, tonight I wanted
to sit at home too, because I haven't been without
(21:25):
the kids for the last two weeks. I'm exhausted. So yeah,
I'm going to sit on the couch and maybe I'll
text you let's.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
Order take out of watch a movie and I have
to get dressed. Like that sounds ideal. The other thing
that I didn't hit on is what I don't want
is someone who doesn't have children. They either haven't had
the opportunity to have children so they still want children,
or they just genuinely don't want children. Right. I can't
live in either one of those spaces been because I
don't want any more children. And the other piece is
I don't know that I could date someone who has
(21:52):
never had a desire to have children, because then to
incorporate them in my life because I love my children
a whole lot and expect them to love them too,
as prob not gonna happen, and either way of the spectrum,
ben it will ultimately lead to resentment. And I'm not
saying that in a negative way. I'm just pretty rational
when it comes to that.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Yeah, you've thought this through, You're gonna be a tough
one because you've thought like, we can't trick you here,
Like there's not like a no give him a shot?
Maybe you know what?
Speaker 2 (22:19):
A lot of people are always like, oh my god,
would you do the Bachelorette again? I'm like no, because
when I was twenty six I was very naive. I
am no longer very naive. I would stand up for
myself and I have an opinion and I feel really
strongly about that.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
What are some red flags that stand out to you?
If there's any that you've kind of figured out in
a human that right away is like Nope, not going
to work.
Speaker 2 (22:51):
A grown man who lives at home with his mom
and dad. That's wild, pretty tough at this age. Someone
who you know. I don't know that I was ever
taught to have a conversation, but I believe there is
a point in conversation where you you ask genuine questions
if you want to get to know someone. And so
someone who you sit down to talk to and doesn't
(23:12):
ask you a single question about yourself, that to me
is a red flag, like that they don't try to
get to know me. And again, I try to be
really graceful, because I could get to know the wall
in this room Ben really well and walk out of
here and think that was a great conversation. But someone
that you sit down with and speak to for thirty
minutes or an hour and they don't ask you one
(23:33):
thing about yourself, to me, that's a red flag.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
You're the easiest date in the world, by the way.
I mean, all I would have to do is show
up and ask you one question and then I would Yeah,
I'd be like awesome, Like all the stress is gone.
So anybody listening that will be maybe added to this show.
Just think of like four or five good questions for
the first date when you're super nervous and let things fly,
(23:58):
like just sit back and relax.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
Yeah, yeah, she's I got Smiths shoes. Another one is
eye contact. That's really important to me. I have always
thought from her young age is someone who cannot hold
or make eye contact is a huge red flag to
me because if you're looking at it scientifically, it usually
means that they're a liar. And the other piece is
(24:21):
it also tells confidence level. So I personally and again
these are my things. So just stating that Ben, I
don't I'm not saying this is everyone, and maybe this
is a little judgmental on my part. I find it
unattractive to be sitting with a man who cannot hold
eye contact because that immediately tells me he's either not
(24:44):
mature or he's not confident enough. And I don't care
what you look like physically. Confidence is truly really attractive.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
Okay, that's my next question, and we're getting close to
the end here because we're kind of getting an idea
of what we're looking for. You just mentioned you said
the words you don't care what they look like physically.
Do you mean that statement or is that just you
speaking out?
Speaker 2 (25:08):
Like?
Speaker 1 (25:08):
Is there physical attributes that you are at least attractive?
Speaker 2 (25:12):
Superficial humans that like I right, we're all self centered,
we're all centers. There's a little bit in all of us. Okay,
I say that meaning for me, confidence and personality is
really important to me. It truly is. You could be
the hottest guy and six foot three tall, dark and handsome,
and have the complete worst personality possible, and that immediately
(25:37):
turns me off. Okay, but I am also an adult
woman and understand that physical attraction is important. I can
usually usually again, I haven't dated in a long time. No,
right off the bat, if I am physically attracted to someone,
I can usually determine if I believe in the first
(25:58):
fifteen to twenty minutes if it is worth a second date.
And that would mean if I am physically attracted to
someone and if the personality is there. I love a
funny guy, love a funny guy. When I first came
on to The Bachelor and and people were like, oh,
Bob Guiney was our best Bachelor ever, and I was like,
I don't get it. I don't get it. You know
Bob really well. Two seconds into talking to Bob, I
(26:20):
was like, oh, I bet you those girls were all
up in his bed because he has the best personality
and he's so funny.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
Rumors are they were the rumor.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
Hey listen, I have heard the rumors too. He is
one of the naughtiest bachelors in the history of the show.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
But I get it.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
I get it. He's funny, he's charismatic, he's confident, you know,
he's just all around a great guy. And yeah, that's
important to me, Like I want that. I want that,
and so but I also there has to be physical
attraction and someone needs to listen.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
I get it.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
I'm on here. You're trying to find me a date,
but someone also needs to be physically attracted to me.
I'm not everyone's cup of tea, and that's okay.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
Yeah, shout out to Bob Guiney real quick. Bob guinea
is down twenty five pounds currently, so this guy is
not only getting more attractive with age, he's also still
funny and confident. Goodness gracious, he's the man. He's the man.
I love that guy. Okay, well, we're going to close
up here with this. Now we've talked about the physical attributes, confidence, personality, caring,
(27:21):
a conversation, a good listener. I mean, I think our
options here are fairly expansive, which I'm excited about because
I think there's a lot of really maybe uniquely interesting
people who are great, who you maybe wouldn't have gone
on a date with unless it was set up. And
that's what I'm excited about when it comes to this
(27:42):
experience is we get to kind of look and support
you from behind the scenes.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
Okay, well, when you find me one Ben, make sure
that he understands that chivalry is not dead. Okay, I'm
from the South. I would love for someone to open
up my car door for me.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
You know, my wife's dad opens up the car door
for or mom at every stop we make when I'm
there in the South.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
It's a big deal, wonderful. My high school boyfriend, I
dated him for five years and there was not a
door that I went through. He had lots of other issues,
don't get me wrong, but there wasn't a door that
I walked through that he didn't open it up for me.
And I remember thinking like that, I just I just
really appreciated that a man who puts a woman first, Right,
that's I just to me, that's important. I would like that.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
Yeah, it's beautiful. Okay. So the big question, the one
you probably have him and asked in a long time,
what are your physical boundaries on a first day? And
I'll make it easier for you to answer. If you're
having a great time, let's start with the kiss. And
somebody tries to kiss you on a first day at
this point in your life, do you lean in or
(28:48):
do you lean back?
Speaker 2 (28:50):
No, if I'm feeling it, I would kiss on a
first date. I mean I've been I believe that it
is well known at this point in my life that
I am not a virgin. I've had at least two children.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
Yeah, that's a headline. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
No, if I'm feeling it and I'm attracted to someone
and it's a great date, I'm down for a first kiss.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
Yeah, a little flirting, little touching right small of your back.
You know, you want to feel like someone's attracted to you.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
Yeah, especially a concert. You said you didn't really know
how to do it at a concert, like how to
flirt and stuff.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
Listen. I tried to flirt in it did not go well. Listen.
We saw these cute I don't know what it is
about women with men in uniform, Like we're really into
firefighters and police officers and military men. Just put us
in a uniform. I did four tours to Iraq in
Afghanistan when I was single, and it was like a
kid in a candy land. Yeah, we try to flirt
(29:42):
with these firefighters. They were not paying us any attention whatsoever.
We're all dressed cute and around the beach and we're
just feeling ourselves and we're listening to Gwenn, having our
best times, and we purposely go and stand in front
of these four firefighters and they're so cute. They don't
pay us any attention whatsoever. So we turn around some
there's all these kids smoking pod these days. I don't
understand it, but just you know, it's freaks whatever. We
(30:04):
kind of turn around and we look at them. We're like,
not you guys smoking, is it? And they're like, no,
we're on the job. Jokes on us then, you know,
and that was it, Like they didn't pay us any
more attention. We were kind of like, wh as we
better go, you know.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
Yeah, yeah, this is gonna be fun. I can't wait
for the audio at this thing when we hear what
kind of pickup lines you're throwing.
Speaker 2 (30:29):
Man, it's time to go.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
Yeah, this is getting weird. Pull pull me. Uh. Thank
you for being so open here about what you're attracted to,
what you're into, what you're not into, what the future
could look like. We are opening up the applications, We
are sifting through all the prospects, and I am so
excited to follow and kind of walk alongside this journey
(30:55):
with you. But until the next time, thanks for joining today.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
Thanks Jan you never know it
iHeart Podcasts bring you the ultimate Summer of Love Tree.
This is famously available. Welcome back the on it to
the podcast. Now. Recently we sent you to Wingo Tango.
It's an amazing concert. I've been many times. That was
back in May, and you got to hang out at
the beach and start to see what you like, what
(00:23):
you're interested in. Again, today we're here as we get
this whole thing kicked off to kind of figure out
what your type is, or for our listeners to just
understand more what your type is. So let's start with
just the overview of everything. How was Wingo Tango.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Oh, it was a lot of fun. I haven't been
to a concert in a really long time, and it
was so fun. I really, all I care about is
squin Stephanie, and I was just hoping she would play
some of her old school No Doubt stuff. So it
was actually really funny because Rachel and Genevieve, who are
significantly younger than I am, were there and we had
(01:01):
I mean we were right next to the stage. We
were like just having the best time ever. And some
of her newer stuff the girls knew, but when she
started playing some of that No Doubt stuff. The girls
were like, yeah, no, I have no clue what this
song is. Said here I am living my best almost
forty four year old life and she's playing like all
of my high school favorites and we knew every single
word and we're jumping up and down, and poor Genevieve
(01:21):
she was like, yeah, I don't know this song at all,
Like she had no clue any of the songs that
Gwyn was playing.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
So Genevieve is one of my favorite people, by the way,
that I've ever hung out with in Vacherination. She is hilarious,
and then you got to see Rachel as well. The
two of them together is a power team. Did they know?
Do they know your current situation that you are mingling
and looking to potentially find a nice little dating partner.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Genevieve was a little confused. So that was the first
time that I met Genevieve, And yes, she's delightful, and
she also was on the prowl, so you know, we
were like working beside each other to try and find
anything remotely attractive. And Rachel I adore and she's also
super great. But Rachel knows about the podcast and was
super stoked Genevieve. I kind of had to explain a
(02:14):
little bit what was going on, and she was like, okay, cool, yeah,
let's find you a husband. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no no no, I'm in it for different reasons this
time around. So but Rachel, yeah, she was on the
prow for me because it has been so long been
since I have been in the dating scene that I
(02:35):
kind of didn't know what to do. Like, I'm pretty
good on my own, I'm pretty fun I'm funny, I
like to have a good time, but like, I don't
know how to interact with the opposite sex anymore, I'm
realizing because I haven't dated in so long, and Rachel
was like on the lookout, trying to find me anyone
to flirt with, any cute guy to talk to, and
(02:56):
I just like it was like I clammed up and
I frozen. I didn't know what to do.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
Okay, that's where we're going to start then, because I
think this is a very relatable and interesting topic. I
didn't love dating. I didn't I wasn't great at it.
It made me a lot more anxious than what I
think was healthy. I would have good sometimes really good
times on dates, but leading up to those dates, it's
(03:23):
all I can think about, Like I just couldn't like
roll in, relax and have a good time. So this
is a skill set. I think it is a muscle
that needs to be practiced and worked on to get
back out there again. You haven't done it. Let's just
call it what it is. You're not great at dating
right now because you haven't done it in so long.
How are you going to get okay at dating again?
(03:43):
How are you going to get this muscle flexed and
worked out?
Speaker 2 (03:47):
I don't know, Ben, and I believe that our listeners
are going to be quite surprised to hear this because
you're talking to two people here who went on national
television to date and find they're forever lasting love. So
I always think that, and I'm I'm relatively an outgoing
human being. I'm very extroverted. I thrive on being with
(04:07):
friends and being able to do social events and stuff
with other people. But I am with you. I didn't
love dating even when I was single, and I actually
didn't love it when I was a bachelorette because I
found it very hard to focus on multiple people at
a time. I'm not a very good serial dater at that,
like I don't. I can't focus really on more than
(04:29):
one person at a time, and I most of that
is just myself because I'm incredibly loyal and I need
to just have one one thing, one man, one person
to kind of put my time in energy in. I'm
not very good at like disassociating when it comes to
one person to another, to another and all of that.
And I also don't like dating in the sense of
(04:51):
going and sitting down at dinner and having to get
to know someone you know like, which is weird for
me because I truly can get to know a wall. Ben,
like you could sit here for the next forty five
minutes and not say a word and I'll believe this
and be like, Ben is so great. We just had
the most wonderful conversation ever.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Please do job very easy.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
See see, So I can get to know someone and
I can do a date. And I guess that's why
I'm drawn to this Ben doing the podcast where someone
else will do the betting for me, hopefully some good betting,
and send me on dates with some really great people
that a connection might be there. Because I'm also not
I'm one of those women that I believe that chivalry
(05:30):
is not dead. I'm not necessarily the girl in the
grocery store who walks up to the handsome guy and
is like, oh my god, hello, I'm divorce and single,
are you Like? I don't do that. I wait to
be approached, and I like for the man to be
a man and to take the lead. I very much
want that. I think that I am. I have so
(05:50):
many parts of my life that I have to be
really organized and I have to be in charge of
and I have to lead all of those places and
those pieces in my career and with the kids and
paying bills and things like. I have to be an adult.
And I think that the one thing that I have
always desired in a relationship is for a man to
do that part. I would love to be. And I'm
(06:13):
going to use the word submissive, which I hate because
I am not a submissive human being. Like I'm very
much I'm a very strong, independent woman. But I think
there is a place in a relationship that I've always crazed, craved,
I'm sorry for a man to take the lead. That's
the one place I don't really want to have to
be in charge. And maybe that's why I'm still here,
(06:34):
although you know, I haven't been able to find that.
But and maybe that's ultimately why I went on the
Bachelor and became the bachelorette. It was a unique space
to meet someone to hopefully have a long lasting relationship,
and so that's why I jumped on this opportunity too,
because you know, when I'm at home, I have my kids,
and when I'm at work, I'm traveling the world. And
I love both of those pieces of my life and
(06:57):
I'm in charge of those pieces, and those pieces I
can control, but I don't necessarily go out and meet
guys to date to have that kind of part of
my life. And so maybe that's why I jumped on
this being able to do the podcast, because I like
being able to give that control to you or anyone
else that set me up on a date and hopefully
(07:17):
it's somebody really great and it turns into something and
I don't have to do the legwork to get there.
Does that make sense?
Speaker 1 (07:23):
It makes a lot of sense. There's a lot of
questions I want to ask from what you just said,
but I think through this process, you know, you and
I are just getting familiar with each other. And how
this is going to work. I've always believed with any
of my girlfriends who are still single or have been
single and have been a part of my life, my
job is to not spew advice. One I don't have
like the ultimate advice to give everybody. But I can
(07:47):
ask questions that sometimes ruffle feathers, that sometimes bring to
light maybe something you said or something you're doing to
make us all think about it, and maybe you can
convince me you know this is the right way to
do it. I think the first part of this is
you have just laid out your life currently and on
the last time we sat down, you laid that same
(08:08):
life out and you said, I have these kind of structures,
these parts of my life where I have my kids
and I'm focused on my kids and I love my kids.
I have my job and I'm focused on my career
and I love my career, and I get to travel
the world. And then I have this really fun time
where like maybe those two things aren't happening at you know,
neither of them are existing for a couple of days,
(08:28):
and you really love your alone time. Where are you
going to find the space or let's ask you the
question that I think so many want to know, do
you actually want to find the space again?
Speaker 2 (08:39):
I do. I do, Actually, I really do. Something that
I've said from the moment that I decided I was
ready to start it to date again, because I think
I shared with you before, I wasn't in that capacity
for a really long time. I really chose and I
have done this throughout every relationship that I've had. I
really sit in a space of myself and find my again,
(09:00):
and I really grieve that stuff. I am not one
to go back to relationships like once they are done,
they're done for me. I'm not someone who lives in
the past. I heard this recently that when you the
past is depression, right to past his depression, future is
anxiety that we all have to live in the present,
right And I don't go back. I don't when relationships
(09:23):
come to an end, I don't go back. And I
really utilize that space to sit with myself and to
grieve and to find myself again and learn how to be,
you know, and myself a woman alone, you know what
I mean. And I'm really okay with that. So I
didn't date for a really long time. I didn't have
any interest in it. I was with Stephen for fifteen years.
(09:44):
I was really at a loss when that marriage came
to an end, and I think that that's okay. I
had no desire to jump into another relationship, to focus
on another human being, to pour into them, to make
them feel loved and cared for, because I needed to
do that for myself. I needed to do that for
my children. They had been through a lot. And so
I am just now in a space where I feel
(10:07):
like I am personally ready to open that up. And
for me, that's really great, and I feel really, you know,
powerful in saying that, because I would have been doing
not just myself a disservice, but another human being before
a disservice, to just utilize them for a period of time.
Because now I can say that I'm ready to do
that now, I understand your question about clarity with my career, right.
(10:33):
I'm not opposed to having someone that I genuinely care
about in my children's life. It just had to be
the right person. So, and what I mean by that
is that I don't want a revolving door for my children.
In no way, shape or form. I need to date
someone for a significant period of time before I have
them even around my children at all, you know, And
(10:58):
that's something that I can control, and that something that
I will do for myself and for them, and I
believe that that is really important to them. I do
not want them to see every person that I date.
I don't want them to see a revolving door of
men come in and out of my house. They don't
need a stepdaddy, right they have a dad. So I
am going to be really picky about that person that
I choose to invest my time in, let alone have
(11:21):
around my children. So I think once that groundwork is there,
then it will be easier for me to make those
spaces in my life combined right with my children, someone
to live in my daily life, and I really want that.
In the meantime, I might have to get creative, you know,
and the times that I am home and I'm not
(11:43):
working and I don't have my children, that's a great
time for me to date. Or I have always really
wanted a partner that would like to travel the world
with me. I love my job, Ben, and I love
to travel the world. I love to see different cultures,
different parts of the world. For parts of the United States.
I live for that and I have always genuinely wanted
(12:07):
someone who would enjoy doing that with me, and I've
never had that. I've never ever had that, not even
in my marriage. And so I also think that if
that's a place for creativity, if I'm able to find
someone that I really like, why not meet me when
I'm in Cabo and date in Mexico. Why not meet
me when I'm across the world in South Africa and
let's go on a safari. I would really like to
(12:30):
meet someone that has the ability to do that. The
financial stability to do that would also be really cool.
I'm not looking to be someone's sugar Mama Ben. I
realized that might come as a shock. Yeah, you know,
and that's a big ask.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
I realized that's a big ask for someone.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Before we start the rapid fire here and kind of
diving into what you're most attracted to, I want to
remind you of something. It has been fifteen sixteen years
since you were in the dating pool, and as you
were talking, I reminded myself of this. And in fact,
about six months ago, I had a friend who's thirty one.
She was wanting to find relationships so bad. She's always
(13:20):
struggled with it, and she called me and said, I've
met somebody and I think this is the right person
for me. And here's why they think it's the right
person for them. And I actually think this is simple
and brilliant all at the same time. And it's something
we forget because you know, we'll talk about red flags
in a bit. We'll talk about, as the kids say today,
the ick. What gives you the ick? Like those things
(13:42):
that throw you off. Here's how she knew. And they're
gonna get married. They're engaged now. She wanted to be
around that person you just said it. Like the space.
There'll be people you date where you're like, I really
have no desire to see them tomorrow on my off day,
But then all of a sudden, there might be somebody
that comes through You're like, oh my gosh, I cannot
wait to see that person. Like this isn't a responsibility,
(14:05):
this isn't a burden, this isn't a struggle. And I
want to remind you of that because it's been a bit.
But that feeling does exist, and I think it really
is a big factor on is this the right person
or not? Do I want to see them tomorrow or
the next.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
Day, I a thousand percent agree with you, because I
only barely dipped my toe into dating in the last year.
I tried the dating apps for a hot minute that
was it's just worse than anything else in the whole world.
Ben But I remember saying that to myself. You know,
my girlfriends were super excited for me, because thankfully, my
friends think I'm pretty great, and they would like for
me to find someone really great. And when I would
(14:42):
go on a date, they'd be like, oh, you know,
what do you think, Or like when I would come
home from a trip, you know, a guy would be like,
let's go get dinner. And I would say that to myself.
If I really liked someone, I would want to hang
out with them. I would want to use my spare
time to be with them. And I have not experienced that.
When I come home from a trip, I have not
found anyone. Not that I've dated a lot, Okay, only
(15:02):
a few people, but none of those few people have
I come home from a trip and thought I'd love
to go out and see that person and grab dinner. No,
I couldn't wait to take my shoes off and lie
on my own couch and make myself dinner and eat
alone and watch what I wanted on television, like I
knew in my heart of hearts that should tell me something.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
I agree, No, I think that's a good marker. We
are going to work our hardest to find you some
incredible people to date, and you will date them, and
they might be incredible and you might have something with
them or you might not. That is not the pressure
that you need to feel or should feel. That's part
of dating. And I think that's what's so fun about
this show is going to give people an insight. And
(15:38):
as you said, you're great at describing and explaining your
feelings and your emotions and your thoughts on what you
were into and what you weren't. And I think a
lot of people are going to relate with it when
they listen and say, wait, I felt that same way.
Now she's putting words to what I felt in a
way I could never do it. And that's what I'm
excited about. But I want to dive in here, uh
(16:00):
to find out kind of what we're looking for when
we go out here on our search. It's not going
to be a hard search. I have a feeling there's
going to be many men going hey, I would like
to date her. But let's start with an easy softball question.
When I ask you, who is your celebrity crush, first
person that comes to mind.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
I hate this question. Then I don't have one.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
I truly, yes, you do. Who do you find attractive? Then?
Are you a George Clooney? Are you a brad person?
Speaker 2 (16:27):
Are you no?
Speaker 1 (16:30):
Who was I looking at the other day that I
was like, goodness, that dude is handsome.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
I mean, they're handsome. I think this is Okay, let me.
This is a bad question for me because in my
career I have flown a lot of celebrities and I
am not I'm the least fangirl kind of person. I
never had that. You know, everybody has that like list
that that that list that even if you were with someone,
you could sleep with those people your crush. I just, yeah,
I don't have any of that. I really don't. Like.
(16:54):
I can appreciate handsome, but like, yeah, I've never thought
I want to haul pass to be able to sleep
with bread.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Okay, that's fair. Okay, Then let's start with this you
mentioned on the last episode, and it's clear to your
friends and your followers and your fans that your faith
is really important to you, and it is not just
a faith of words, but this is a not only
a lifestyle. This has your relationship with your faith has
changed your life from the inside out. So as a result,
(17:26):
is faith a massive I don't want to say issue
that makes face sound like an issue. Is faith important
to you and your next partner?
Speaker 2 (17:33):
It's very important for me if I am going to
date someone long term and have a long term relationship, partnership,
companionship with someone. Yeah, I ideally would like to date
someone who believes in God and believes in Jesus. That's
what I do. I want. I envision myself to holding
a man's hand at church on Sundays like I would
(17:54):
really love that. So ultimately, long term for me, those
things have to coincide.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Yeah, And I think it's it adds a depth to
the relationship. How in the world are you supposed to
confront any type of difficult conversation if the two of
you aren't coming from a similar place. And this is
what we believe about humans, and this is what we
believe about the world around us. So I do think
it adds a depth for long standing relationships.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
Yeah, I start my day in prayer, and I end
it in prayer, and I would love to do that
with someone.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
I think that's fair. Okay, that's good. That's a really
good marker. As we begin this, and you know, in
the same breath we've seen it. You know more and
more where you know there's single dads out there, they're
they're wanting to date, and they're they're speaking the same
kind of language you're speaking, where it's like, I don't
I want to date, but I don't know if I
(18:44):
have the time or the space, the abilities. When you
think about a single dad with kids, still raising children,
is that something that's attractive to you. Is that something
that's just the Hey, that's cool, or is this a no,
a non starter like I can't also add in those kids.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
No, it's super attractive to me, been for many reasons.
For starters. They will understand what I'm going through. They
will understand my lifestyle. They will understand that some days,
a date does not mean dinner at six o'clock. It
means let's grab coffee after we drop our children off
at school. Let's get lunch on Wednesday, because our children
don't get out until two thirty in the afternoon. So
for me, that's really attractive for that like scheduling piece,
(19:24):
but also for someone who doesn't have children, they'll, I mean,
and I say this in the kindest way possible, They're
never going to be able to understand when I say, no,
you know what, my children need me tonight, I can't
meet you this evening. They might be kind about it,
but for me, I think that there will come a
point where that will become a point of resentment because
(19:45):
I'm always going to choose my kids over someone else.
I'm just going to I'm their mom and those are
my kids. So there's also that emotional piece that for me,
a single dad is going to understand that that first
and foremost, I'm a single mom and my children are
really important to me, and a single dad we'll also
get that. So there's a scheduling piece, there's the emotional piece,
and then I would like to think at some point,
(20:06):
if it gets to that, then there's the piece of
combining families, you know what I mean. Like that, ultimately,
if I'm looking really far down the road and I
don't have anyone, you know what I mean. But in
my mind, when I'm looking at the long term and
down the road of things. That's what I would like
to have. Someone who understands parenthood because again I've shared
with you, I don't want more children. I will be
(20:27):
forty four this year. I have no desire to be
pregnant again and breastfeeding for another year year and the
lack of sleep and up every few hours. You know
it very well, Ben, I don't have a desire to
do that again. But I think I can be a
really incredible stepmom. I think I can.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
Yeah. I think it's always so beautiful no matter what
life has brought. You know, these people together to see,
you know, you go to the zoo and you see
you can tell two families having fun. Usually the kids
are very similar in age, which doesn't like always get
to exist when you know, because you wait a year
or two years to have your next kid. So sometimes
(21:04):
there's like similar age groups that can play together and
have fun together. I think it's a beautiful thing. And
I get what you're saying too. When it talk when
you talk about space and when you talk about obligations,
and when you talk about the things that are important
to you, somebody with kids will get that. They'll understand it.
It won't have to be explained to them. They'll be like,
I get it. Yeah, that's fine. Actually, tonight I wanted
to sit at home too, because I haven't been without
(21:25):
the kids for the last two weeks. I'm exhausted. So yeah,
I'm going to sit on the couch and maybe I'll
text you let's.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
Order take out of watch a movie and I have
to get dressed. Like that sounds ideal. The other thing
that I didn't hit on is what I don't want
is someone who doesn't have children. They either haven't had
the opportunity to have children so they still want children,
or they just genuinely don't want children. Right. I can't
live in either one of those spaces been because I
don't want any more children. And the other piece is
I don't know that I could date someone who has
(21:52):
never had a desire to have children, because then to
incorporate them in my life because I love my children
a whole lot and expect them to love them too,
as prob not gonna happen, and either way of the spectrum,
ben it will ultimately lead to resentment. And I'm not
saying that in a negative way. I'm just pretty rational
when it comes to that.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Yeah, you've thought this through, You're gonna be a tough
one because you've thought like, we can't trick you here,
Like there's not like a no give him a shot?
Maybe you know what?
Speaker 2 (22:19):
A lot of people are always like, oh my god,
would you do the Bachelorette again? I'm like no, because
when I was twenty six I was very naive. I
am no longer very naive. I would stand up for
myself and I have an opinion and I feel really
strongly about that.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
What are some red flags that stand out to you?
If there's any that you've kind of figured out in
a human that right away is like Nope, not going
to work.
Speaker 2 (22:51):
A grown man who lives at home with his mom
and dad. That's wild, pretty tough at this age. Someone
who you know. I don't know that I was ever
taught to have a conversation, but I believe there is
a point in conversation where you you ask genuine questions
if you want to get to know someone. And so
someone who you sit down to talk to and doesn't
(23:12):
ask you a single question about yourself, that to me
is a red flag, like that they don't try to
get to know me. And again, I try to be
really graceful, because I could get to know the wall
in this room Ben really well and walk out of
here and think that was a great conversation. But someone
that you sit down with and speak to for thirty
minutes or an hour and they don't ask you one
(23:33):
thing about yourself, to me, that's a red flag.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
You're the easiest date in the world, by the way.
I mean, all I would have to do is show
up and ask you one question and then I would Yeah,
I'd be like awesome, Like all the stress is gone.
So anybody listening that will be maybe added to this show.
Just think of like four or five good questions for
the first date when you're super nervous and let things fly,
(23:58):
like just sit back and relax.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
Yeah, yeah, she's I got Smiths shoes. Another one is
eye contact. That's really important to me. I have always
thought from her young age is someone who cannot hold
or make eye contact is a huge red flag to
me because if you're looking at it scientifically, it usually
means that they're a liar. And the other piece is
(24:21):
it also tells confidence level. So I personally and again
these are my things. So just stating that Ben, I
don't I'm not saying this is everyone, and maybe this
is a little judgmental on my part. I find it
unattractive to be sitting with a man who cannot hold
eye contact because that immediately tells me he's either not
(24:44):
mature or he's not confident enough. And I don't care
what you look like physically. Confidence is truly really attractive.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
Okay, that's my next question, and we're getting close to
the end here because we're kind of getting an idea
of what we're looking for. You just mentioned you said
the words you don't care what they look like physically.
Do you mean that statement or is that just you
speaking out?
Speaker 2 (25:08):
Like?
Speaker 1 (25:08):
Is there physical attributes that you are at least attractive?
Speaker 2 (25:12):
Superficial humans that like I right, we're all self centered,
we're all centers. There's a little bit in all of us. Okay,
I say that meaning for me, confidence and personality is
really important to me. It truly is. You could be
the hottest guy and six foot three tall, dark and handsome,
and have the complete worst personality possible, and that immediately
(25:37):
turns me off. Okay, but I am also an adult
woman and understand that physical attraction is important. I can
usually usually again, I haven't dated in a long time. No,
right off the bat, if I am physically attracted to someone,
I can usually determine if I believe in the first
(25:58):
fifteen to twenty minutes if it is worth a second date.
And that would mean if I am physically attracted to
someone and if the personality is there. I love a
funny guy, love a funny guy. When I first came
on to The Bachelor and and people were like, oh,
Bob Guiney was our best Bachelor ever, and I was like,
I don't get it. I don't get it. You know
Bob really well. Two seconds into talking to Bob, I
(26:20):
was like, oh, I bet you those girls were all
up in his bed because he has the best personality
and he's so funny.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
Rumors are they were the rumor.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
Hey listen, I have heard the rumors too. He is
one of the naughtiest bachelors in the history of the show.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
But I get it.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
I get it. He's funny, he's charismatic, he's confident, you know,
he's just all around a great guy. And yeah, that's
important to me, Like I want that. I want that,
and so but I also there has to be physical
attraction and someone needs to listen.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
I get it.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
I'm on here. You're trying to find me a date,
but someone also needs to be physically attracted to me.
I'm not everyone's cup of tea, and that's okay.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
Yeah, shout out to Bob Guiney real quick. Bob guinea
is down twenty five pounds currently, so this guy is
not only getting more attractive with age, he's also still
funny and confident. Goodness gracious, he's the man. He's the man.
I love that guy. Okay, well, we're going to close
up here with this. Now we've talked about the physical attributes, confidence, personality, caring,
(27:21):
a conversation, a good listener. I mean, I think our
options here are fairly expansive, which I'm excited about because
I think there's a lot of really maybe uniquely interesting
people who are great, who you maybe wouldn't have gone
on a date with unless it was set up. And
that's what I'm excited about when it comes to this
(27:42):
experience is we get to kind of look and support
you from behind the scenes.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
Okay, well, when you find me one Ben, make sure
that he understands that chivalry is not dead. Okay, I'm
from the South. I would love for someone to open
up my car door for me.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
You know, my wife's dad opens up the car door
for or mom at every stop we make when I'm
there in the South.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
It's a big deal, wonderful. My high school boyfriend, I
dated him for five years and there was not a
door that I went through. He had lots of other issues,
don't get me wrong, but there wasn't a door that
I walked through that he didn't open it up for me.
And I remember thinking like that, I just I just
really appreciated that a man who puts a woman first, Right,
that's I just to me, that's important. I would like that.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
Yeah, it's beautiful. Okay. So the big question, the one
you probably have him and asked in a long time,
what are your physical boundaries on a first day? And
I'll make it easier for you to answer. If you're
having a great time, let's start with the kiss. And
somebody tries to kiss you on a first day at
this point in your life, do you lean in or
(28:48):
do you lean back?
Speaker 2 (28:50):
No, if I'm feeling it, I would kiss on a
first date. I mean I've been I believe that it
is well known at this point in my life that
I am not a virgin. I've had at least two children.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
Yeah, that's a headline. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
No, if I'm feeling it and I'm attracted to someone
and it's a great date, I'm down for a first kiss.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
Yeah, a little flirting, little touching right small of your back.
You know, you want to feel like someone's attracted to you.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
Yeah, especially a concert. You said you didn't really know
how to do it at a concert, like how to
flirt and stuff.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
Listen. I tried to flirt in it did not go well. Listen.
We saw these cute I don't know what it is
about women with men in uniform, Like we're really into
firefighters and police officers and military men. Just put us
in a uniform. I did four tours to Iraq in
Afghanistan when I was single, and it was like a
kid in a candy land. Yeah, we try to flirt
(29:42):
with these firefighters. They were not paying us any attention whatsoever.
We're all dressed cute and around the beach and we're
just feeling ourselves and we're listening to Gwenn, having our
best times, and we purposely go and stand in front
of these four firefighters and they're so cute. They don't
pay us any attention whatsoever. So we turn around some
there's all these kids smoking pod these days. I don't
understand it, but just you know, it's freaks whatever. We
(30:04):
kind of turn around and we look at them. We're like,
not you guys smoking, is it? And they're like, no,
we're on the job. Jokes on us then, you know,
and that was it, Like they didn't pay us any
more attention. We were kind of like, wh as we
better go, you know.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
Yeah, yeah, this is gonna be fun. I can't wait
for the audio at this thing when we hear what
kind of pickup lines you're throwing.
Speaker 2 (30:29):
Man, it's time to go.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
Yeah, this is getting weird. Pull pull me. Uh. Thank
you for being so open here about what you're attracted to,
what you're into, what you're not into, what the future
could look like. We are opening up the applications, We
are sifting through all the prospects, and I am so
excited to follow and kind of walk alongside this journey
(30:55):
with you. But until the next time, thanks for joining today.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
Thanks Jan you never know it
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