November 6, 2025 • 26 mins
Golden Bachelor Gerry Turner had a successful first marriage, and a second marriage born out of reality TV that crashed and burned quickly!
Now Gerry is talking to Amy & TJ about his new book and spilling the details on why he went from "I Do" to "I Don't!" with Theresa Nist.
Plus, Gerry is giving us an update on his health, and if the rumors that his cancer diagnosis had anything to do with his divorce from Theresa, and all the details on how he met his current fiancée, Lana!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Hey, they're folks, and welcome to I Do Partner two
and if you got love right the first time around,
this podcast ain't the one for you, because this podcast
for folks who gave it a second try, third, even
fourth sometime your hosts include it. And welcome to this episode.
Sitting alongside my partner Amy Roboch here with TJ. Holmes
(00:40):
and our guest today. Robes is somebody that I would
argue is probably he is, probably has a resume that
he could host this show. We could recruit him to
be one of our hosts of this show.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Absolutely, because we are talking with the original the og
Golden Bash, Gary Turner. He has a new book that
is out now called Golden Years What I've Learned from Love,
Loss and Reality TV. And you are Gary right here.
We're looking at you with the new love of your life,
(01:15):
your new fiance, Lana.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
Yeah, pretty awesome.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Congratulation, Thank you so much.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
It's been wonderful.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
It's been wonderful and wild, I bet because wild, Yes,
a lot of emphasis on that, because theres a lot
we haven't seen of your life, and we still the
things we've seen have been wild. So there's a whole
lot more to be told. But can we first and
foremost get this out of the way.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
What is the correct way to say your name? It's Gary, Gary, Gary.
The main thing is the hard G Gary. So yeah,
if my mom told me I was named after Saint Gerrard, okay,
and that I had an Irish name, and technically it's
supposed to be Gary Gary. But yeah, you know, you're
kind of splitting here.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
And it's such it's hard enough to get people not
to say Jerry, right. You don't want to get too picky, right.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
And you know, ever since the nuns whacked me on
the head when I was in about third grade, I
answered it both and I don't make waves about it.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
It's always a big deal to get somebody's name right.
And I think when people see it ge I throws
people off and they see it spell. But Gary, it
is good to have you in studio. Can we ask
for how's your health? How are you physically? Give us
an update on how you do?
Speaker 4 (02:25):
Pretty good?
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Actually, you know, there's been no change. I keep going
to the doctor every six months and getting those blood
tests that I'm supposed to get, and as long as
I don't have symptoms, I don't have any treatment yet.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
That's fantastic, it is. And the prognosis. Have they given
you an idea about when treatment might have to start
at some point?
Speaker 3 (02:47):
So typically a person can have this disease from three
to nine years before they need treatment. The problem is
you don't know when to start the clock. So I
don't know if they found mine in year three or
year seven. But I'm way optimistic, and I have such
a good reason to be optimistic now, you know, I'm
(03:07):
thinking I got a long time. How do you feel?
I mean, you look, I'm sitting here looking at you. You
look great, You're upbeat, good energy. But how do you
physically feel? The question is always how does a normal
seventy four year old guy supposed to feel? Because when
you know you have aches and pains, or you have
that little grogginess or whatever, it's like, is this normal
for my age or is this something else? I choose
(03:29):
to think it's just normal for my age. Guy.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
I love that, you know, because I am a cancer
survivor as well, and so when you have anything that
feels off, you sometimes go to deaf con five like
you start to worry, like this is it? This is
the moment when my life changes and I get that.
So little things are big things, and it's good to
hear you are taking care of yourself and you are
making sure you're being monitored.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
Yeah. Thanks, and it's good that you can relate to that.
You kind of get it, you know, I do.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
I do. It's it's something that when you start RECOGNI
that you don't. Your health is the most important thing
you could possibly have, and you don't know that until
it's taken away from you, right, So.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
True that is is love helping your health. It's sure
helping my outlook on life. I would like to think
it transfers over to health. Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
They say that all the time, right, you have something,
your upbeat, you are optimistic, you have something to look for,
you have years you want now, and that's different and
it can help health.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
That is perfectly said. Every day you get up and
you go, oh, I get another day with Lana. I
get another day of adventure and excitement. I mean, really,
we've known each other for getting really close to eight months.
Every single day has been a riot, and every day
is full of smiles. I don't think I've ever met
a more positive, energetic person. She won't allow me to
(04:53):
get down.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
We can't wait to get into the book because you
don't hold anything back. But I do want to ask
one more thing, because I have to say, for anyone
who can't see your face right now, who's just listening,
you are eminate, like you are radiating love and positivity
and joy, and it really is infectious and beautiful to see.
So like, truly congratulations. You can tell you are happy?
Speaker 3 (05:17):
Yeah, I am really exca.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
You are joyful? Can you tell us for people who
haven't been keeping up? Because you mentioned you and Lana
have known each other for eight months, a lot of
folks the last they've heard of you was you were
in the middle of a dealing with a three month
marriage that you were getting divorced from, and all of
a sudden, now you've got beautiful Lana in your life
and you're preparing actually to get married for the third time.
(05:42):
How did this all happen so quickly?
Speaker 3 (05:45):
Ooh, that's really a good question, you know. I like
to think that the show's premise worked, probably some divine
intervention in there that put the two of us in
the right spot at the right time. But I think
if you don't give up, you still keep heart, you
keep hope you keep humor in your life. Good things happen,
(06:07):
you get to the spot where you're supposed to be,
and you know, a little praise to above. You know
that helps a lot. So that's kind of where I'm.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
At with it connect those dots for us the show
and how it relates to you now, the divine intervention
you talk about that led to you being engaged.
Speaker 4 (06:24):
Where did God come into play? I guess?
Speaker 1 (06:26):
And getting from proposal and a marriage we all saw
to us sitting in a room now with you and
your fiance.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
So you know, the conversation that Lanna and I have
had a couple of times is look at all the instances, consequence,
ar mean, coincidences, everything that had to happen in the
right sequence for us to have met on you know,
March seventh of this year, to meet each other in
(06:56):
such a magical way, and it's like you look back
and it's like I wouldn't have been where I was
at had I not been on the show. She would
not have known of me.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Landa reached out to you via Facebook? Is that what happened?
Speaker 3 (07:08):
Yeah? Yeah, kind of, you know, after I realized she
wasn't a stalker, I took her a little more seriously.
Speaker 4 (07:13):
How long did that take? Did it feel?
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Stalker is for a while, About a New York minute,
not very long.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
So she reaches out, you realize that she's the real deal,
and how long before you actually met in person? And
then you realize she was the one?
Speaker 3 (07:31):
So it wasn't very long. It was several days. You know,
there's no sense in putting it off, you know, TikTok,
TikTok when you're seventy something. And so she reached out.
We kind of realized that neither of us were being catfished.
And you know, from her perspective, I think it was
more than mine. She really wasn't sure I was the
(07:51):
real guy. In fact, to try and prove to her,
I went out in my garage and I took a
picture of my license plate in my car, and my
license plate is GLD batch Bach and I go, I'm
really the guy, and she goes, that picture could have
come from anywhere.
Speaker 4 (08:12):
Who would do that.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
So, after we vetted each other it it got to
the point where I said, okay, let's meet for dinner,
because that's what she threw out. She said, really, the
only way you're going to convince me that you're really
the Golden Bachelor is to meet me in person. I go, damn,
I'm done. Then that's what we're doing.
Speaker 4 (08:31):
Wait a minute, she reaches out to you and then
you have to prove who you are.
Speaker 3 (08:34):
What is that?
Speaker 4 (08:35):
Does that make?
Speaker 3 (08:36):
Thank you?
Speaker 4 (08:37):
Thank you?
Speaker 1 (08:37):
But okay, brought that up over all, Right, he's some
male based factor driven logic around here.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
Yes, that doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
Yeah, what was that dinner?
Speaker 3 (08:59):
Like? Oh man, I you know, I really can't overstate this.
I was at the restaurant Vestibule a little bit early
waiting for her, and when she showed up, it was like,
oh my god, this is it. She's tall, she's elegant,
she carried herself well, she looks gorgeous, and you know,
(09:21):
the dinner was just amazing.
Speaker 4 (09:25):
She showed up.
Speaker 3 (09:26):
I was so impressed. I gotta I gotta tell you this.
I was so impressed because early on in the dinner,
you know, I had told her that I had cancer
and she looks at me and she goes, you know,
I've already done the research. I know all about it.
You're fine, that's not an issue with me. Yeah. She
brought a little plaque that said, you miss one hundred
(09:46):
percent of the shots that you don't take. Okay, I
mean she's presenting this to me at the dinner, and
finally she gave me a condolence card because my father
had passed away about six the days prior. So I'm
going this woman has really a nice heart. And so
(10:07):
she was clear with me. She goes, I have a
five date rule, so don't get too excited. And I said, well,
can I ask you out for the second date on
the first night? And I said, you know, after dinner
we go to dairy queen?
Speaker 4 (10:20):
Can that count as two days?
Speaker 3 (10:23):
She didn't go for it, but we did spend extra
time after dinner together, so it was I'm telling you,
it was magical. We talked, we realized how much we
had in common with our Midwest background and our beliefs
and our values and our kids. She has two daughters
and a son, and I have two daughters, and we've
(10:44):
mixed the families already, and it's hard to believe how
well they get along. It's pretty much a laugh riot.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
Isn't it incredible when you've had the perspective of things
going well and things not going well, going through heartbreak
and heartache, and then all of a sudden when things
line up, you know in a way you didn't before
or you couldn't have.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
Oh, that is so true, because you know, I spent
all of that time on the show looking for a
feeling and trying to force it and trying to create it,
and all of a sudden, out of nowhere, I didn't
have to force it. I didn't have to create it.
It was just there. And it is like, I mean,
I'm sitting here right now, there's a little bit of chill.
(11:27):
It's like it's really really good.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Yeah, I know you all can hear to our listeners here.
There's sometimes I say this, sometimes I can hear you
smiling through the phone, and I'm sure if you all
anybody's listening, you can hear him smiling as he's talking.
It is very cool to see to your first date
were you You mentioned the clock ticking? Right, you understand
the clock taking? What am I waiting around for? How
do you balance? I guess the clock was ticking while
(11:50):
you were doing the show as well. Do you try
to balance? Okay, the clock is ticking, but I also
do need to be in a need to be in
a hurry and do something because I just was in
a hurry and did something, feeling the pressure of the
moment and all this. So how did you still at
seventy four go, wait, maybe I shouldn't rush it, but
this is it and I need to get off the pop.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
So on the show, I didn't have any control over
the velocity of what was happening. You know, that was
going to happen, whether I liked it or not, and
those things, the energy and the flow of it. But
back in the real world, once I got there, things changed,
and you know, I was very despondent after the divorce.
(12:31):
I thought, man, after forty three years of success, I
did something that was a real failure, you know, and
I felt personally responsible for that failure. I'd failed myself
and my own values and what I believed in and
so forth. So it took me quite some time to
get over that. But once I put my mind back
(12:52):
on the right track and became more positive about things,
and then you know, Atlanta shows up, then it became timeless.
There was no timeline involved. It was just one thing happened,
and then the next thing happened and so forth, and
really we didn't even think about the time lapse and
the age and all of that.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
You said something I know a lot of our listeners
and me as well, I would be curious to hear
you talked about the divorce, seeing it as a failure.
You said it took you a while to get over it.
How did you Because a lot of people do feel like, well,
I can't give this up because then it will look
then I did something wrong.
Speaker 5 (13:29):
I failed in this. How did you get past that feeling?
Speaker 3 (13:31):
Yeah, I'm not even sure I have a good answer
for that. You know, you'd self evaluate, you'd go back
and realize, Okay, Fundamentally, the mistake I made going into
that show was that I was coming out with my partner.
It was never an option for me to come out
(13:52):
empty handed, so to speak, that I wouldn't have my partner.
That I believed in the vetting that ABC had done
with the contestants, and I believed in it everything that
was leading up to that. So I my own mistake,
the fundamental mistake, was not believing that I could walk
out of there without someone.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
Did you feel pressure to do that? Was it personal pressure?
Did you feel pressure from the show, from the fans,
from the audience that was.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
Really a personal pressure. And then you know, there is
a chapter in the book that talks about drinking from
the fire hydrant, and you know, certainly that is a pressure,
but it's something you put on yourself. There's such high
expectations going into that environment, and not expectations that someone
(14:41):
is placing on you, but from within. And you know
when you fail at those expectations at the end, and
you've not done a great job of evaluating your own
life and the love life that you've joined with someone else,
and I screwed up SoC.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
And I've heard had several people describe how you describe
the feeling you had either the night before you propose
and all these things, and it was what was the
Heather was just telling us like you felt empty, even
like you're seeing during the proposal. Can you take us
back to for a second, because people get cold feet, right,
(15:21):
it sounded like and you maybe you tell us, was
it beyond just cold feet and being nervous? What did
it feel like when you were about to make that
decision and about to propose. Did you just know this
ain't right? Or was it just normal I'm a little nervous.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
So to set the stage a little bit give us
some context. Remember, the night before I proposed to Teresa
was a very emotional night because of Leslie, And those
were the feelings that were really overriding everything else that
I had done the wrong thing, that I hadn't handled
the Leslie's situation properly. And I do remember how emotional
(16:02):
that was, and telling myself, Hey, you've got to get
your head straight because twelve hours from now you're going
to be standing in front of another woman asking her
to marry you again. Would you give me an Oh
my god, for me too?
Speaker 4 (16:16):
Yeah, Okay, that's that's too much. It's like, yeah, oh wow.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
So it's really it's tough. It's really really a difficult situation.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
How much harder was it to be the Golden Bachelor
than you thought it was going to be?
Speaker 3 (16:42):
Oh? Man, I never no one's ever asked me that question.
It was way harder than I ever thought it was
going to be. I thought it was going to be
unicorns and butterflies and everything great, and man it was
it was work. It was work, And I don't mean
that in a negative way. I mean that it was
a job and you had to throw yourself into it,
(17:05):
and you had to give it everything you had, and
you had to go buy someone else's rules, You had
to give up control of your own life. There was
a lot. There was a lot, and but again I
go back to the belief that it was like, all
this is going to be worth it. I'm going to
find my person at the end of these episodes. I'm
going to be in the best place possible. And then
(17:29):
that doesn't quite get there.
Speaker 4 (17:31):
It didn't.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
And then the aftermath, what was the public scrutiny like
for you personally?
Speaker 3 (17:35):
Oh, it sucked the the you know, part of that
failure is I also felt like, in the face of
my daughters that I had let them down and all
the things as a dad that I had preached, you know,
all those principles, and then afterwards the the media scrutiny
(17:56):
was so critical and so lops I did. And that
was part of the beginning of the thought of the book.
It's like, no, you're not seeing the whole picture. You're
not seeing this in balance. There was two people that
made this decision, not one. It wasn't like I imposed
my will on this decision. We talked about it. We
(18:19):
agreed that this is what was best for us, and
so yeah, I wanted. I wanted the whole story to
be told.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
But why did we miss that story in the first place?
Is it, really, in your opinion, just the way a
couple of tabloids it takes off and you can't stop it.
Or was there someone feeding this machine, if you will,
that storyline.
Speaker 3 (18:41):
That would maybe be for someone else to judge other
than me.
Speaker 4 (18:44):
Oh no, we got you here, so you.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
I think there were some influences that allowed it to
go that way. And you know, that's where I felt
quite a bit of betrayal. You know, Teresa and I
the day before we were interviewed with Juju Chang and
announced that we were going to be divorced. We solemnly
agree that we're going to look out for each other,
and I think that was the noble thing to do
(19:09):
on both of our parts. Part of that agreement was
that neither of us would put out a unilateral statement.
ABC suggested that would be a very good idea, just
stay quiet. Forty eight hours later, Terrace is putting out
a public statement. Boy, and I'm going come on, that's
not what you know, that's not in our best interest,
(19:32):
our mutual best interest.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
There you go, mutual?
Speaker 5 (19:35):
Yeah, did you get a heads up the other state
was coming on?
Speaker 3 (19:38):
No? No, no, huh no. So I really thought we
had set the stage as best we could to weather
the storm, take the blows, and then move on. And
then it turned out that wasn't the way it happened.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
And as we know, just from being members of the
media and certainly having our own firestorm of stories being
written about us that weren't true at all, once that
train leaves the station, it's almost impossible to stop it.
So a lot of folks believe your divorce with Teresa
was because of your cancer diagnosis. There's a lot of
(20:12):
finger pointing. Can you clear up? And I know you
do in the book, but for the listeners right now,
and the details are there and they're fascinating. Why did
you and Teresa get divorced?
Speaker 3 (20:22):
Well, when real life hit us and on the show,
you know, she had mentioned in that last dinner before
the Fantasy Suites that when she found the right guy,
she was ready to quit her job. That really changed
my thinking about her because before that I had always
wondered about that particular factor because I wanted to travel
(20:45):
and I wanted to adventure, and I knew that I
was getting to the later parts of the fourth quarter
of my life, and I wanted to capture a lot
of the things that I was never able to do.
And so then after the show was over and we
get into our conversations about marriage and what's going to happen,
and she continued she would continue to go back to
the statement that I want to work for another year now.
(21:09):
To a guy twenty five years old, another year may
not seem like march to a guy like seventy five. Again,
I gotta go TikTok, TikTok, TikTok. What percentage of my
remaining years is another year? And so that became a
real point of contention. We worked on where we could
possibly live, and she was pretty outspoken about not liking
(21:31):
the Midwest and Indiana at all, and quite honestly, I
wasn't a big fan of New Jersey. I thought it
was a great place to go and spend some time,
but I didn't want to be a personal or permanent
person for there.
Speaker 5 (21:43):
And you're not alone.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
We get it's New Jersey. I love you New Jersey,
but it's not the first time we've heard.
Speaker 5 (21:49):
Something like that.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
So that's that was really where it began is that
I looked at the things that I had expected not happening,
and that ven diagram, that ven diagram has no overlap. Okay,
she's either working or she's able to travel, and it
didn't happen.
Speaker 5 (22:11):
That was just the beginning.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
I mean, I just made me think about my dad,
who's been talking about retiring for the past ten years.
I'm going to retire, and literally it has been a
decade and he is not getting any younger. He's seventy eight.
Did you think it was possible? Again, we're talking about
one year. Some people might hear that and say, well,
you can't handle a year if you love her, blah
blah blah. Was that the concern? It sounds like that
was the jumping off point to many other issues.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
It was. It was, quite honestly, And you know, you
look at some of the things that you value, and
I guess my definition of intimacy and the sharing of
feelings and the sharing of planning and the joy of
food and all these things were absent. And it's like,
(22:53):
so when you crystallize one point and you start thinking
about all these other things that don't quite work. To me,
I was led to an inevitable conclusion of how that
was going to play out.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
I was about to ask you to give some advice
to other people out there who, look, you had to
make a pretty brave choice, one to get married and
then to get to think that I can still This
isn't what I should be doing, even at this age,
and I don't have to settle. There are a lot
of folks in their thirties, hell late twenties, forties, been
(23:27):
in marriages for a long time, who have this feeling
there's nothing else out there for me. I need to
stay here. I'm embarrassed to do this. What would you
say to those people? A lot of them we have
in this core audience here. I'm not encouraging people to
go run out and leave your marriage. I'm not saying that.
But there are some people who are in positions like
you were, who don't take what many would see as
(23:48):
a brave and courageous step to get out of something
so that you could have a better, fulfilling, happy life.
Speaker 5 (23:55):
What do you say to those people facing that kind
of challenge.
Speaker 3 (23:58):
So that's a really, really good observation. I think the
whole setup that you gave that question is really on point.
When you commit yourself to a relationship and Lant is
sitting right here and it's like, it's so great to
work on that relationship and it's rewarding and fulfilling, but
(24:18):
they're not all going to be good days, and there's
going to be days where you have to say, I
got to work on this. You know, we've found an
area we need to resolve a conflict or friction. And
if you've done all that work and you have to
do it over and over and over again, all of
a sudden, you got to go. Life is supposed to
(24:40):
be joyful. I mean, really, I believe that life is
supposed to be joyful. We always have to pay our dues,
we have to work, we have to do the things
that are necessary. But we find joy in our kids,
in our relationships and all the things we do, our activities.
And if you're not finding joy, you need to change
something thing. And if you look at yourself and you go,
(25:04):
you know what, I'm pretty happy with who I am.
I don't think I need to do the changing. I
think my environment or my circumstances is what needs to
be changed. Do the right thing, the right do the
courageous thing. And once you decide, don't freaking drag your feet.
That's That's one of the things that I feel strongly
(25:26):
about is when you know you've made the right decision,
follow through on it.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
Wow, that is really from a personal standpoint, that is
wonderful to hear. We talk a lot about relationships here.
We dealt with a lot in our own relationships. Look,
we got four divorces between the two of us sitting here,
and so to hear that is encouraging and we will
take every time we come in here robes these podcasts
turn into something else. We have one plan to talk
(25:52):
about a book, and all of a sudden we have
a therapy session and we walk out of here better
people than we were when we walked in. So personally,
thank you, we really appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
And it's your willingness to share your story and to
be vulnerable and to be transparent that really does help
other people who are on similar or adjacent paths, who
feel shame or feel like they can't do what they
want to do, or don't feel empowered to see and
hear your story matters.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
Oh and we are just getting started with mister Turner.
We got so much more to get into with him
that you know what, we thought. We'd split this up
into two conversations, so please make sure you tune in.
We will be posting another part two of our conversation
with mister Gary Turner
Hey, they're folks, and welcome to I Do Partner two
and if you got love right the first time around,
this podcast ain't the one for you, because this podcast
for folks who gave it a second try, third, even
fourth sometime your hosts include it. And welcome to this episode.
Sitting alongside my partner Amy Roboch here with TJ. Holmes
(00:40):
and our guest today. Robes is somebody that I would
argue is probably he is, probably has a resume that
he could host this show. We could recruit him to
be one of our hosts of this show.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Absolutely, because we are talking with the original the og
Golden Bash, Gary Turner. He has a new book that
is out now called Golden Years What I've Learned from Love,
Loss and Reality TV. And you are Gary right here.
We're looking at you with the new love of your life,
(01:15):
your new fiance, Lana.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
Yeah, pretty awesome.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Congratulation, Thank you so much.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
It's been wonderful.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
It's been wonderful and wild, I bet because wild, Yes,
a lot of emphasis on that, because theres a lot
we haven't seen of your life, and we still the
things we've seen have been wild. So there's a whole
lot more to be told. But can we first and
foremost get this out of the way.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
What is the correct way to say your name? It's Gary, Gary, Gary.
The main thing is the hard G Gary. So yeah,
if my mom told me I was named after Saint Gerrard, okay,
and that I had an Irish name, and technically it's
supposed to be Gary Gary. But yeah, you know, you're
kind of splitting here.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
And it's such it's hard enough to get people not
to say Jerry, right. You don't want to get too picky, right.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
And you know, ever since the nuns whacked me on
the head when I was in about third grade, I
answered it both and I don't make waves about it.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
It's always a big deal to get somebody's name right.
And I think when people see it ge I throws
people off and they see it spell. But Gary, it
is good to have you in studio. Can we ask
for how's your health? How are you physically? Give us
an update on how you do?
Speaker 4 (02:25):
Pretty good?
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Actually, you know, there's been no change. I keep going
to the doctor every six months and getting those blood
tests that I'm supposed to get, and as long as
I don't have symptoms, I don't have any treatment yet.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
That's fantastic, it is. And the prognosis. Have they given
you an idea about when treatment might have to start
at some point?
Speaker 3 (02:47):
So typically a person can have this disease from three
to nine years before they need treatment. The problem is
you don't know when to start the clock. So I
don't know if they found mine in year three or
year seven. But I'm way optimistic, and I have such
a good reason to be optimistic now, you know, I'm
(03:07):
thinking I got a long time. How do you feel?
I mean, you look, I'm sitting here looking at you. You
look great, You're upbeat, good energy. But how do you
physically feel? The question is always how does a normal
seventy four year old guy supposed to feel? Because when
you know you have aches and pains, or you have
that little grogginess or whatever, it's like, is this normal
for my age or is this something else? I choose
(03:29):
to think it's just normal for my age. Guy.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
I love that, you know, because I am a cancer
survivor as well, and so when you have anything that
feels off, you sometimes go to deaf con five like
you start to worry, like this is it? This is
the moment when my life changes and I get that.
So little things are big things, and it's good to
hear you are taking care of yourself and you are
making sure you're being monitored.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
Yeah. Thanks, and it's good that you can relate to that.
You kind of get it, you know, I do.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
I do. It's it's something that when you start RECOGNI
that you don't. Your health is the most important thing
you could possibly have, and you don't know that until
it's taken away from you, right, So.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
True that is is love helping your health. It's sure
helping my outlook on life. I would like to think
it transfers over to health. Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
They say that all the time, right, you have something,
your upbeat, you are optimistic, you have something to look for,
you have years you want now, and that's different and
it can help health.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
That is perfectly said. Every day you get up and
you go, oh, I get another day with Lana. I
get another day of adventure and excitement. I mean, really,
we've known each other for getting really close to eight months.
Every single day has been a riot, and every day
is full of smiles. I don't think I've ever met
a more positive, energetic person. She won't allow me to
(04:53):
get down.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
We can't wait to get into the book because you
don't hold anything back. But I do want to ask
one more thing, because I have to say, for anyone
who can't see your face right now, who's just listening,
you are eminate, like you are radiating love and positivity
and joy, and it really is infectious and beautiful to see.
So like, truly congratulations. You can tell you are happy?
Speaker 3 (05:17):
Yeah, I am really exca.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
You are joyful? Can you tell us for people who
haven't been keeping up? Because you mentioned you and Lana
have known each other for eight months, a lot of
folks the last they've heard of you was you were
in the middle of a dealing with a three month
marriage that you were getting divorced from, and all of
a sudden, now you've got beautiful Lana in your life
and you're preparing actually to get married for the third time.
(05:42):
How did this all happen so quickly?
Speaker 3 (05:45):
Ooh, that's really a good question, you know. I like
to think that the show's premise worked, probably some divine
intervention in there that put the two of us in
the right spot at the right time. But I think
if you don't give up, you still keep heart, you
keep hope you keep humor in your life. Good things happen,
(06:07):
you get to the spot where you're supposed to be,
and you know, a little praise to above. You know
that helps a lot. So that's kind of where I'm.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
At with it connect those dots for us the show
and how it relates to you now, the divine intervention
you talk about that led to you being engaged.
Speaker 4 (06:24):
Where did God come into play? I guess?
Speaker 1 (06:26):
And getting from proposal and a marriage we all saw
to us sitting in a room now with you and
your fiance.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
So you know, the conversation that Lanna and I have
had a couple of times is look at all the instances, consequence,
ar mean, coincidences, everything that had to happen in the
right sequence for us to have met on you know,
March seventh of this year, to meet each other in
(06:56):
such a magical way, and it's like you look back
and it's like I wouldn't have been where I was
at had I not been on the show. She would
not have known of me.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Landa reached out to you via Facebook? Is that what happened?
Speaker 3 (07:08):
Yeah? Yeah, kind of, you know, after I realized she
wasn't a stalker, I took her a little more seriously.
Speaker 4 (07:13):
How long did that take? Did it feel?
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Stalker is for a while, About a New York minute,
not very long.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
So she reaches out, you realize that she's the real deal,
and how long before you actually met in person? And
then you realize she was the one?
Speaker 3 (07:31):
So it wasn't very long. It was several days. You know,
there's no sense in putting it off, you know, TikTok,
TikTok when you're seventy something. And so she reached out.
We kind of realized that neither of us were being catfished.
And you know, from her perspective, I think it was
more than mine. She really wasn't sure I was the
(07:51):
real guy. In fact, to try and prove to her,
I went out in my garage and I took a
picture of my license plate in my car, and my
license plate is GLD batch Bach and I go, I'm
really the guy, and she goes, that picture could have
come from anywhere.
Speaker 4 (08:12):
Who would do that.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
So, after we vetted each other it it got to
the point where I said, okay, let's meet for dinner,
because that's what she threw out. She said, really, the
only way you're going to convince me that you're really
the Golden Bachelor is to meet me in person. I go, damn,
I'm done. Then that's what we're doing.
Speaker 4 (08:31):
Wait a minute, she reaches out to you and then
you have to prove who you are.
Speaker 3 (08:34):
What is that?
Speaker 4 (08:35):
Does that make?
Speaker 3 (08:36):
Thank you?
Speaker 4 (08:37):
Thank you?
Speaker 1 (08:37):
But okay, brought that up over all, Right, he's some
male based factor driven logic around here.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
Yes, that doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
Yeah, what was that dinner?
Speaker 3 (08:59):
Like? Oh man, I you know, I really can't overstate this.
I was at the restaurant Vestibule a little bit early
waiting for her, and when she showed up, it was like,
oh my god, this is it. She's tall, she's elegant,
she carried herself well, she looks gorgeous, and you know,
(09:21):
the dinner was just amazing.
Speaker 4 (09:25):
She showed up.
Speaker 3 (09:26):
I was so impressed. I gotta I gotta tell you this.
I was so impressed because early on in the dinner,
you know, I had told her that I had cancer
and she looks at me and she goes, you know,
I've already done the research. I know all about it.
You're fine, that's not an issue with me. Yeah. She
brought a little plaque that said, you miss one hundred
(09:46):
percent of the shots that you don't take. Okay, I
mean she's presenting this to me at the dinner, and
finally she gave me a condolence card because my father
had passed away about six the days prior. So I'm
going this woman has really a nice heart. And so
(10:07):
she was clear with me. She goes, I have a
five date rule, so don't get too excited. And I said, well,
can I ask you out for the second date on
the first night? And I said, you know, after dinner
we go to dairy queen?
Speaker 4 (10:20):
Can that count as two days?
Speaker 3 (10:23):
She didn't go for it, but we did spend extra
time after dinner together, so it was I'm telling you,
it was magical. We talked, we realized how much we
had in common with our Midwest background and our beliefs
and our values and our kids. She has two daughters
and a son, and I have two daughters, and we've
(10:44):
mixed the families already, and it's hard to believe how
well they get along. It's pretty much a laugh riot.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
Isn't it incredible when you've had the perspective of things
going well and things not going well, going through heartbreak
and heartache, and then all of a sudden when things
line up, you know in a way you didn't before
or you couldn't have.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
Oh, that is so true, because you know, I spent
all of that time on the show looking for a
feeling and trying to force it and trying to create it,
and all of a sudden, out of nowhere, I didn't
have to force it. I didn't have to create it.
It was just there. And it is like, I mean,
I'm sitting here right now, there's a little bit of chill.
(11:27):
It's like it's really really good.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Yeah, I know you all can hear to our listeners here.
There's sometimes I say this, sometimes I can hear you
smiling through the phone, and I'm sure if you all
anybody's listening, you can hear him smiling as he's talking.
It is very cool to see to your first date
were you You mentioned the clock ticking? Right, you understand
the clock taking? What am I waiting around for? How
do you balance? I guess the clock was ticking while
(11:50):
you were doing the show as well. Do you try
to balance? Okay, the clock is ticking, but I also
do need to be in a need to be in
a hurry and do something because I just was in
a hurry and did something, feeling the pressure of the
moment and all this. So how did you still at
seventy four go, wait, maybe I shouldn't rush it, but
this is it and I need to get off the pop.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
So on the show, I didn't have any control over
the velocity of what was happening. You know, that was
going to happen, whether I liked it or not, and
those things, the energy and the flow of it. But
back in the real world, once I got there, things changed,
and you know, I was very despondent after the divorce.
(12:31):
I thought, man, after forty three years of success, I
did something that was a real failure, you know, and
I felt personally responsible for that failure. I'd failed myself
and my own values and what I believed in and
so forth. So it took me quite some time to
get over that. But once I put my mind back
(12:52):
on the right track and became more positive about things,
and then you know, Atlanta shows up, then it became timeless.
There was no timeline involved. It was just one thing happened,
and then the next thing happened and so forth, and
really we didn't even think about the time lapse and
the age and all of that.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
You said something I know a lot of our listeners
and me as well, I would be curious to hear
you talked about the divorce, seeing it as a failure.
You said it took you a while to get over it.
How did you Because a lot of people do feel like, well,
I can't give this up because then it will look
then I did something wrong.
Speaker 5 (13:29):
I failed in this. How did you get past that feeling?
Speaker 3 (13:31):
Yeah, I'm not even sure I have a good answer
for that. You know, you'd self evaluate, you'd go back
and realize, Okay, Fundamentally, the mistake I made going into
that show was that I was coming out with my partner.
It was never an option for me to come out
(13:52):
empty handed, so to speak, that I wouldn't have my partner.
That I believed in the vetting that ABC had done
with the contestants, and I believed in it everything that
was leading up to that. So I my own mistake,
the fundamental mistake, was not believing that I could walk
out of there without someone.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
Did you feel pressure to do that? Was it personal pressure?
Did you feel pressure from the show, from the fans,
from the audience that was.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
Really a personal pressure. And then you know, there is
a chapter in the book that talks about drinking from
the fire hydrant, and you know, certainly that is a pressure,
but it's something you put on yourself. There's such high
expectations going into that environment, and not expectations that someone
(14:41):
is placing on you, but from within. And you know
when you fail at those expectations at the end, and
you've not done a great job of evaluating your own
life and the love life that you've joined with someone else,
and I screwed up SoC.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
And I've heard had several people describe how you describe
the feeling you had either the night before you propose
and all these things, and it was what was the
Heather was just telling us like you felt empty, even
like you're seeing during the proposal. Can you take us
back to for a second, because people get cold feet, right,
(15:21):
it sounded like and you maybe you tell us, was
it beyond just cold feet and being nervous? What did
it feel like when you were about to make that
decision and about to propose. Did you just know this
ain't right? Or was it just normal I'm a little nervous.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
So to set the stage a little bit give us
some context. Remember, the night before I proposed to Teresa
was a very emotional night because of Leslie, And those
were the feelings that were really overriding everything else that
I had done the wrong thing, that I hadn't handled
the Leslie's situation properly. And I do remember how emotional
(16:02):
that was, and telling myself, Hey, you've got to get
your head straight because twelve hours from now you're going
to be standing in front of another woman asking her
to marry you again. Would you give me an Oh
my god, for me too?
Speaker 4 (16:16):
Yeah, Okay, that's that's too much. It's like, yeah, oh wow.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
So it's really it's tough. It's really really a difficult situation.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
How much harder was it to be the Golden Bachelor
than you thought it was going to be?
Speaker 3 (16:42):
Oh? Man, I never no one's ever asked me that question.
It was way harder than I ever thought it was
going to be. I thought it was going to be
unicorns and butterflies and everything great, and man it was
it was work. It was work, And I don't mean
that in a negative way. I mean that it was
a job and you had to throw yourself into it,
(17:05):
and you had to give it everything you had, and
you had to go buy someone else's rules, You had
to give up control of your own life. There was
a lot. There was a lot, and but again I
go back to the belief that it was like, all
this is going to be worth it. I'm going to
find my person at the end of these episodes. I'm
going to be in the best place possible. And then
(17:29):
that doesn't quite get there.
Speaker 4 (17:31):
It didn't.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
And then the aftermath, what was the public scrutiny like
for you personally?
Speaker 3 (17:35):
Oh, it sucked the the you know, part of that
failure is I also felt like, in the face of
my daughters that I had let them down and all
the things as a dad that I had preached, you know,
all those principles, and then afterwards the the media scrutiny
(17:56):
was so critical and so lops I did. And that
was part of the beginning of the thought of the book.
It's like, no, you're not seeing the whole picture. You're
not seeing this in balance. There was two people that
made this decision, not one. It wasn't like I imposed
my will on this decision. We talked about it. We
(18:19):
agreed that this is what was best for us, and
so yeah, I wanted. I wanted the whole story to
be told.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
But why did we miss that story in the first place?
Is it, really, in your opinion, just the way a
couple of tabloids it takes off and you can't stop it.
Or was there someone feeding this machine, if you will,
that storyline.
Speaker 3 (18:41):
That would maybe be for someone else to judge other
than me.
Speaker 4 (18:44):
Oh no, we got you here, so you.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
I think there were some influences that allowed it to
go that way. And you know, that's where I felt
quite a bit of betrayal. You know, Teresa and I
the day before we were interviewed with Juju Chang and
announced that we were going to be divorced. We solemnly
agree that we're going to look out for each other,
and I think that was the noble thing to do
(19:09):
on both of our parts. Part of that agreement was
that neither of us would put out a unilateral statement.
ABC suggested that would be a very good idea, just
stay quiet. Forty eight hours later, Terrace is putting out
a public statement. Boy, and I'm going come on, that's
not what you know, that's not in our best interest,
(19:32):
our mutual best interest.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
There you go, mutual?
Speaker 5 (19:35):
Yeah, did you get a heads up the other state
was coming on?
Speaker 3 (19:38):
No? No, no, huh no. So I really thought we
had set the stage as best we could to weather
the storm, take the blows, and then move on. And
then it turned out that wasn't the way it happened.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
And as we know, just from being members of the
media and certainly having our own firestorm of stories being
written about us that weren't true at all, once that
train leaves the station, it's almost impossible to stop it.
So a lot of folks believe your divorce with Teresa
was because of your cancer diagnosis. There's a lot of
(20:12):
finger pointing. Can you clear up? And I know you
do in the book, but for the listeners right now,
and the details are there and they're fascinating. Why did
you and Teresa get divorced?
Speaker 3 (20:22):
Well, when real life hit us and on the show,
you know, she had mentioned in that last dinner before
the Fantasy Suites that when she found the right guy,
she was ready to quit her job. That really changed
my thinking about her because before that I had always
wondered about that particular factor because I wanted to travel
(20:45):
and I wanted to adventure, and I knew that I
was getting to the later parts of the fourth quarter
of my life, and I wanted to capture a lot
of the things that I was never able to do.
And so then after the show was over and we
get into our conversations about marriage and what's going to happen,
and she continued she would continue to go back to
the statement that I want to work for another year now.
(21:09):
To a guy twenty five years old, another year may
not seem like march to a guy like seventy five. Again,
I gotta go TikTok, TikTok, TikTok. What percentage of my
remaining years is another year? And so that became a
real point of contention. We worked on where we could
possibly live, and she was pretty outspoken about not liking
(21:31):
the Midwest and Indiana at all, and quite honestly, I
wasn't a big fan of New Jersey. I thought it
was a great place to go and spend some time,
but I didn't want to be a personal or permanent
person for there.
Speaker 5 (21:43):
And you're not alone.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
We get it's New Jersey. I love you New Jersey,
but it's not the first time we've heard.
Speaker 5 (21:49):
Something like that.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
So that's that was really where it began is that
I looked at the things that I had expected not happening,
and that ven diagram, that ven diagram has no overlap. Okay,
she's either working or she's able to travel, and it
didn't happen.
Speaker 5 (22:11):
That was just the beginning.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
I mean, I just made me think about my dad,
who's been talking about retiring for the past ten years.
I'm going to retire, and literally it has been a
decade and he is not getting any younger. He's seventy eight.
Did you think it was possible? Again, we're talking about
one year. Some people might hear that and say, well,
you can't handle a year if you love her, blah
blah blah. Was that the concern? It sounds like that
was the jumping off point to many other issues.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
It was. It was, quite honestly, And you know, you
look at some of the things that you value, and
I guess my definition of intimacy and the sharing of
feelings and the sharing of planning and the joy of
food and all these things were absent. And it's like,
(22:53):
so when you crystallize one point and you start thinking
about all these other things that don't quite work. To me,
I was led to an inevitable conclusion of how that
was going to play out.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
I was about to ask you to give some advice
to other people out there who, look, you had to
make a pretty brave choice, one to get married and
then to get to think that I can still This
isn't what I should be doing, even at this age,
and I don't have to settle. There are a lot
of folks in their thirties, hell late twenties, forties, been
(23:27):
in marriages for a long time, who have this feeling
there's nothing else out there for me. I need to
stay here. I'm embarrassed to do this. What would you
say to those people? A lot of them we have
in this core audience here. I'm not encouraging people to
go run out and leave your marriage. I'm not saying that.
But there are some people who are in positions like
you were, who don't take what many would see as
(23:48):
a brave and courageous step to get out of something
so that you could have a better, fulfilling, happy life.
Speaker 5 (23:55):
What do you say to those people facing that kind
of challenge.
Speaker 3 (23:58):
So that's a really, really good observation. I think the
whole setup that you gave that question is really on point.
When you commit yourself to a relationship and Lant is
sitting right here and it's like, it's so great to
work on that relationship and it's rewarding and fulfilling, but
(24:18):
they're not all going to be good days, and there's
going to be days where you have to say, I
got to work on this. You know, we've found an
area we need to resolve a conflict or friction. And
if you've done all that work and you have to
do it over and over and over again, all of
a sudden, you got to go. Life is supposed to
(24:40):
be joyful. I mean, really, I believe that life is
supposed to be joyful. We always have to pay our dues,
we have to work, we have to do the things
that are necessary. But we find joy in our kids,
in our relationships and all the things we do, our activities.
And if you're not finding joy, you need to change
something thing. And if you look at yourself and you go,
(25:04):
you know what, I'm pretty happy with who I am.
I don't think I need to do the changing. I
think my environment or my circumstances is what needs to
be changed. Do the right thing, the right do the
courageous thing. And once you decide, don't freaking drag your feet.
That's That's one of the things that I feel strongly
(25:26):
about is when you know you've made the right decision,
follow through on it.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
Wow, that is really from a personal standpoint, that is
wonderful to hear. We talk a lot about relationships here.
We dealt with a lot in our own relationships. Look,
we got four divorces between the two of us sitting here,
and so to hear that is encouraging and we will
take every time we come in here robes these podcasts
turn into something else. We have one plan to talk
(25:52):
about a book, and all of a sudden we have
a therapy session and we walk out of here better
people than we were when we walked in. So personally,
thank you, we really appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
And it's your willingness to share your story and to
be vulnerable and to be transparent that really does help
other people who are on similar or adjacent paths, who
feel shame or feel like they can't do what they
want to do, or don't feel empowered to see and
hear your story matters.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
Oh and we are just getting started with mister Turner.
We got so much more to get into with him
that you know what, we thought. We'd split this up
into two conversations, so please make sure you tune in.
We will be posting another part two of our conversation
with mister Gary Turner
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