December 7, 2025 • 22 mins
The drinks and the convo are flowing before the I Do Part 2 crew heads to Jingle Ball!
How important is chemistry in the bedroom in your part 2? Should you value friendship or the spark more when finding a partner?
Our motley crew has a lot to say!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:15):
Hey there, everybody, and welcome to I Do Part two,
the podcast if you got love right the first time around,
this is not the podcast for you. I am one
of your hosts, TJ. Holmes, alongside my dear lovely Amy Robach.
And this will be the last time you hear my
voice in this podcast because I'm sitting here with.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Two very excuse me, one, two, three, four, five very
strong willed women. So signing off TJ.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
Holmes. Oh that's so funny.
Speaker 4 (00:45):
Yes, No, we have our favorite people, Yes, our I
Do Part two family right now. So we have Kelly, Jen,
Susan and Kathy and y'all. We're all here together in
Los Angeles and it's like a reunion here. We're having
a blast, but we have some very deep questions. Are
you guys in a mood or in a.
Speaker 5 (01:05):
Yeah to get deep with the deeper the battle, ya,
Can you set the scene for everybody now, you all,
we are sitting in a small hotel room in Brentwood, California.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
We are sitting around.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
There is an empty vodka Red Bull that Kathy's no drinking.
That was a mimosa or in Susan's head.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Exactly.
Speaker 6 (01:32):
Amy Robo sitting on t J Holmes lap, big, big,
huge engagement ringggy so gorgeous.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
It is yellow yellow sapphire. I mean, can I just.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Say it's you? I have a sapphire ring on that
is chips. Let me just say, but I.
Speaker 7 (01:53):
Don't feel bad gorgeous, I said, party, it's mimosa yellow.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
All right. So look, we have actually talked about this
a lot.
Speaker 4 (02:09):
We were best friends for years and years and years
before anything became romantic. Should you value being best friends
or should you value chemistry in a relationship?
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Well, it's best friends.
Speaker 8 (02:20):
Susan and I are about to get in.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
You're like, that's what I think. You're both really important.
I think you can.
Speaker 8 (02:32):
I think you don't have to be best friends first,
but I think it's great if you are. And I
think if you can develop into best friends, even better.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
But I think chemistry, chemistry can make chemistry. You cannot
deny it.
Speaker 9 (02:45):
I mean, I think when you're younger, it's really important
to be best friends because you're going to be cultivating
this life. But like, I'm fifty seven years old. I
want chemistry. I want fire, I want passion, I want fun.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
I use me, excuse me. Yeah, I'm just saying, I'm
just giving you don't.
Speaker 6 (03:05):
I will tell you, guys, I did not have chemistry
with my husband at all. There was no passion for me.
I think for him there was. I'm just being honest.
Like we're married now twenty six years. He was so
persistent and I you know.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
I always said, like, the only thing I care about,
I don't care.
Speaker 6 (03:19):
I don't give it. She doesn't have to be gorgeous,
he doesn't have to be rich, she doesn't have to
be I just want him tall because I always feel
like a big girl.
Speaker 8 (03:27):
I'm sorry, wait a minute, give up money and passion
for height.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
Well I did.
Speaker 5 (03:34):
If you well, if you think that, I'm sorry, I'm
going to tell you, I'm going to tell you.
Speaker 6 (03:38):
So so right, So what I actually I actually didn't
care about hype.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
My husband is five six. I did well. I thought
I wanted tall too.
Speaker 6 (03:49):
But I'm saying I was from the first second I
saw him, I was like, not so much.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
And we became best friends and and I mean he
didn't feel like I did.
Speaker 8 (03:58):
I used.
Speaker 6 (03:58):
I said to him once, there's just no spark here.
There's just nothing. No, I wasn't married because I think
he grew I mean, I honestly, I loved him so
much and at one point he was like, I can't
do this anymore, and I'm like, whoa wait a second,
I love you.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
Where are you going?
Speaker 7 (04:20):
So sweet?
Speaker 3 (04:22):
Necessarily princes he does, but it's not I just love him.
Speaker 6 (04:29):
I just respected my love. I mean we're on our
part too as well. We were separated for like a
year and a half. But yeah, I just it didn't
start for me with chemistry.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
Yeah, but is it necessary to chemistry friendship?
Speaker 3 (04:42):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
She's wrapped around.
Speaker 6 (04:46):
You know what.
Speaker 4 (04:47):
I think we didn't recognize it or acknowledge it because
we were not in a position to even consider the
other as a romantic partner. But there was always a spark,
and I will say there were always rumors that something
was going on the us when they were like absolutely not,
we're just friends. I will say he was the person
wherever like groups would gather a journalist, I would seek
(05:09):
him out and we'd see each other across the room
and would where are you? And we would always end
up together hanging out, laughing, having a blast.
Speaker 8 (05:17):
So for me, when you ask if if there's chemistry,
I met my husband when I was eighteen years old,
my now deceased husband and I looked across the room.
We locked eyes, and I looked at my sweet mate
standing next to me and I said, you see that
guy over there.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
She said yeah.
Speaker 8 (05:33):
I said, I'm going to marry him, and I did
eighteen months later. There was just we locked eyes and
I just felt it. I know that sounds crazy, but
we were married almost forty six years.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
There was just something about it.
Speaker 8 (05:45):
But we weren't best friends, and I'll be honest, we
were never best friends.
Speaker 6 (05:48):
Oh wow, would you tell your kids that it was
so important in the chemistry now that you've lived and learned,
would you say you have to have it off the.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Bat for me my kids.
Speaker 8 (06:10):
So, my son got divorced after a three year marriage
and now he's married to the woman of his dreams,
and I think when he met her, the chemistry is immediate.
My daughter, when she met her husband, she was like,
I'm not interested in all in this guy, and by
the end of the afternoon they were locked in.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
So I don't know. I think for everyone it's different.
Speaker 8 (06:31):
I think ideally I would love to have my best
friend have it grow from best friend to I think
that would be my dream. But at this point, I'll
take a guy who's above ground, just about ground.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
That's the baseline.
Speaker 9 (06:45):
So I, you know, my only husband. I was very
young when I met him. I was nineteen, and it
was like he was like a Neanderthal. He like pulled
me by my hair and he was like, she's going
to be mine. And I happened to look like his
second wife. So we had that in comments. But he
was very much like that. It was kind of like
the persistent I mean, you know, I mean, did I
ever think I would marry like a shorter, curly haired
(07:08):
frenchman like I'm from Rockford, Illinois.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Like no, I was thinking athlete.
Speaker 9 (07:13):
I was thinking like, you know some maybe one from
treat Trick something like that.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
You know, it goes kind of by.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
The drummer Robin Xander, Hello, I'm Lexander.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Bunny, Carlos, you know any of those guys. So there's
a laundry list.
Speaker 9 (07:27):
But yeah, I was not thinking that like a French
guy that was with curly hair, who was like literally
like you mine.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Now, I was like that French.
Speaker 8 (07:36):
For me.
Speaker 10 (07:37):
Now it's different than I don't care if a man
is overweight or not tall enough. I do prefer tall man.
But it's different now because I'm not looking to build
a family. I'm not looking for my first house in
the white picket fence. I'm looking for my friend, the
guy that I'm going to get old with. And that
(07:59):
still makes me laugh. Yeah, and sex is.
Speaker 8 (08:02):
Important, okay, But Susan, if there's I'm going to take issue.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
I think at our ready we're going to take issue. There.
Speaker 8 (08:10):
Wait, Susan, No matter what, you still have to build
a life for the guy, you know.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
And so whether it's long distance, I.
Speaker 8 (08:21):
Got sorry, I got thirty years left in name, I'm like, oh,
I just think it's I think that we overplace sometimes
the idea that you know, our children are both of
our children are grown and they're gone and they have
their own families. But still, when you're looking for that partner,
you want someone where you have the same values, where yes,
(08:42):
you want to that's the.
Speaker 6 (08:44):
Not even I don't know about the same exact values.
But I really like my husband. I forget about the
fact that I love him like I really like him.
Speaker 4 (08:52):
I think you just nailed it for me like that
has been like like and respect for two things that
I wasn't really considering when I was younger, and I
realized that is what ended.
Speaker 3 (09:01):
Up biting me in the ass, because if.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
You don't like the person you're with, and if you
don't respect how they operate in the world, you are
doomed and you can try whatever and it doesn't work.
And so this has been amazing to actually have a
friend who you like, who you respect, and obviously have
a spark.
Speaker 3 (09:20):
Yes, but the purpose.
Speaker 9 (09:25):
I feel like you said about liking respect, and I
think what happens with a lot of people in relationships
is they have these expectations of what this person could
be is going to be just.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
You can make them become.
Speaker 9 (09:37):
I know they can be this. I know they're going
to be like that. I'm not who people think I am.
I am exactly who I am. I don't make any
I'm not gonna sit here and apologize for who I
am or what I do, or how I make money
or the businesses that I do, or how I raise
my kids. Like I've done the best that I can.
This is who I am. So you cannot change me.
(09:57):
You can embrace me, you can move me in a
direction that can help me, but you can't.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
We just talked about show me who you are. Don't
tell me who you are.
Speaker 8 (10:08):
You will show me who you are by our interactions.
You can tell me you're a man of integrity, you're
a you're a great parent, You're this, You're that. I'm
going to watch You're going to show me who you are,
and that's how I'm going.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
To judge you.
Speaker 10 (10:21):
So hearing all of us, what are the hopes for us?
Speaker 3 (10:25):
Wait, you guys, can I just say something?
Speaker 6 (10:26):
I just thought that was so interesting what you guys
just said, because my part one, because we did separate
for a year and a half and ended up getting
back together, but I think during part one I wanted
him to change and I wanted him so. My husband
is an introvert. It's kind of cerebral. And we would
go out with other couples and I would and I
(10:47):
just wouldn't. He just wouldn't engage, and it would make
me furious. And now after all of these years, I
couldn't give twos.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
It just gives me more room to talk like that's
how you shine. Or even if he doesn't, even if
he doesn't like, I just don't care. I like him
so much, you know.
Speaker 9 (11:05):
So the interesting thing is that like For me, the
role is reversed because I'm I am just like watching.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
I mean, I have a twin brother. I was raised
with a male all my life, so I understand how how.
Speaker 9 (11:16):
They move, they walk, they talk, everything, and I embrace
all of that, so I don't have this like.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
What's the guy going to do?
Speaker 9 (11:22):
How is he going to react? Because I have a
twin brother. Yeah, I have the opposite problem. Guys are
always like, well are you like this?
Speaker 2 (11:30):
So you're going to be like that?
Speaker 9 (11:31):
And I'm the one that they're putting all the expectations on.
I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Like all I want to
do is just be in a healthy, happy, loving environment
where I can shine and do well, that's all.
Speaker 7 (11:44):
You know.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Where are you? Where are you in your dating because
the last time we talked to you someone, there was
something going on. I don't want to there was. Is
that something still going on? It is?
Speaker 4 (11:59):
Look at it in the same city as you.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
He's like, yeah, guy, all right, he's the guy. Guy Okay, is.
Speaker 9 (12:14):
So great and he has his own life, beautiful kids,
great ex wife. Like everyone, he's in a little a
little bit, a bit further away.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Yeah, yeah, A couple of states. But he's not that far.
It's like a couple of hours away. And you know,
we see each other a lot, and he's a really.
Speaker 9 (12:33):
He's very protective of me without being to push me.
Like he's not like Kelly, be better, He's just like,
how are you? You're great today? Everything's going to be
great for you?
Speaker 3 (12:44):
Like I've never had that. I've had like part two
baby that comes with part two.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
I just realized one here who does not have a
part too?
Speaker 7 (12:54):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (12:54):
What do you mean?
Speaker 2 (12:55):
I said?
Speaker 3 (12:55):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (12:57):
Do you think that that a relationship and even a
marriage can survive if you just love each other enough?
Does it need more than love? Because people, that's always
a big question, is just loving someone enough? Do you
answer the tough times?
Speaker 8 (13:11):
You answered it? You need respect. I think that you
have to respect. The person has to have integrity. Love
is not enough.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
It love goes away.
Speaker 4 (13:20):
It's a feeling that can come and go. And if
you don't I don't think if you don't have the
foundation of like and respect.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
You stop looking at me. Why why is there a
look going on between the two of you?
Speaker 9 (13:34):
So Amy, So I I was honest and I have
never been in love before.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
Again I had.
Speaker 9 (13:44):
I've loved people, but I've never been in love. I've
never been like, oh my god, like I'm actually like
in love with someone.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
Well, how do you know that? And what is the measure?
Is it different for I don't know.
Speaker 9 (13:57):
What the actual what it is. I don't know what
the box is to check off. It's just like, Okay,
now you're in love. Like I don't know what button
to push. I don't know what that is. I just
know the feeling of like how I can care for someone,
nurture them, you know, be there for them.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
But I'm I don't.
Speaker 9 (14:14):
I've never had that feeling that is like I that
person gives me butterfly or.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
Probably every time.
Speaker 10 (14:30):
But I've questioned that myself.
Speaker 3 (14:32):
Have I really ever?
Speaker 2 (14:33):
I'm a nurturing person.
Speaker 9 (14:34):
I'm a very I'm so much I'm Kelly, but I'm
a very nurturing person. So I think people misconstrue my
nurturing for love. But it's not like I may be
loving towards you, but I'm not in love with you.
Speaker 6 (15:00):
I tell my daughter all the time, and I'm sure
you guys know. People say this like the Spark, except
for Amy and TJ. The spark fades, right, and I
always say you gotta also use your head, and I
maybe yeah, but also maybe kel like you're not calling
it in love, but I'm sure you've had that feeling
(15:20):
or your heart races. You can't be waiting for them
to call or you're together, and no.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
Not really.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
So I've never heard for I was like, they're great,
They're so nice.
Speaker 9 (15:30):
But I've also you know, I've been doing so many
jobs and providing for so long. But I feel like,
in some ways, I'm like that businessman that's like, all
of a sudden, he's like made the money and has
all I know.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
He's like, Okay, now I want my life.
Speaker 9 (15:43):
Like I've like, I've just been working like an animal
for so long, so I've never been in the time.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
I've never like looked reflected back.
Speaker 9 (15:50):
And been like that person gave me those feelings because
I wasn't even available for them.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
I was totally emotionally under It's.
Speaker 4 (15:58):
So interesting you say that because I would say, until now, yes,
I have been married to my job. My job and
my career was my passion, and so it allowed me
to be in relationships and stay in them because my
passions and my love was being met at work.
Speaker 3 (16:16):
Is that if that makes any sense.
Speaker 4 (16:18):
And this is the first time I feel like a teenager,
and it's like, this is what people have felt like,
Oh my god, when it happened, you recognize that it's
never happened before. And so that has been an interesting
experience for me, just to go through emotions that sometimes
I think a lot of people luckily have in their
teens or their early twenties.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
Now I know this is all new.
Speaker 6 (16:40):
Remember my daughter saying to me she would meet someone
and just she would go, Mom, I met my husband tonight. Now,
for some of us, obviously that worked out for Rachel
in that case, you've met about seventeen husbands.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
But let me just say I have said, yeah, I'm
also now I may only single one here, the only
widow here.
Speaker 8 (17:01):
And I will say that the biggest lesson I have learned,
and I'm admitting this right here publicly, I tried to
change my husband.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
My husband was also an introvert.
Speaker 8 (17:10):
He was also very subrebral, and I want it because
I have never met a stranger.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
It was hard when we would go to comsole parties.
I had to carry all the load.
Speaker 8 (17:21):
But now if he were back now I realized what
a gift it was.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
What a gift it was.
Speaker 10 (17:27):
So even said to me recently that that's something that
you would change if you find love.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
And that's exactly so I have learned.
Speaker 8 (17:36):
I learned it the hardest way possible, that if I
get my second chance at love, that's.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Going to get such improved me the best When when when? When?
Speaker 8 (17:50):
So you know, you learn things, and you learn it
by divorce, you learn it by any kind of loss.
When they say every relationship you learn a lesson, you.
Speaker 10 (17:59):
Do sometimes some people don't learn though.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
I keep repeating the same things.
Speaker 10 (18:06):
I mean, I fall fast and hard and it's fun
and it's exciting, and six to nine months later you
start looking at the real picture.
Speaker 6 (18:15):
Going I do. But you, guys, even if this is
not you're not in a relationship right now, like it's
still your part two. Like I don't feel like you
had a part one. Like you're living your part two,
whether or not you.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
Are in love. Look at the experience, however, you both
like me, I.
Speaker 6 (18:30):
Feel like you got to reinvent yourself at an age
in your life, like not a lot of people do.
Speaker 3 (18:34):
And you're hosting these podcasts and you're.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Still and grateful for that, truly grateful for that. Yeah.
Speaker 9 (18:40):
Also too, to your point, like and when you're like
when you are a single mother and you're providing, it's
like you're not in your feelings. Even though I was
on Housewives and everyone was asking about talking to me
about their feelings, I'm like, what are you talking about?
Speaker 3 (18:52):
I know.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
I'm like, I'm sorry, I have time.
Speaker 3 (18:56):
For feelings, like you're feelings.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
You're feelings. Oh, I have a hope. I'm like, you're speaking.
I have a carpool in ten minutes, I know. I
was like, I'm gonna miss the basketball. Yeah, like what
you're talking about?
Speaker 3 (19:09):
I want to ask you all because we're gonna wrap
this up.
Speaker 4 (19:11):
But I think this is something that a lot of
people try to decide the level of importance. How important
is chemistry in the bedroom? How important is that in
a relationship?
Speaker 10 (19:22):
So important sometimes and people at our age can't perform,
So you find the other way. No, trust me, some
men and you find other ways as long as they're
open to what.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Is so hang with that.
Speaker 3 (19:37):
It is twoenty twenty five.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
Kathy, Yeah, Kathy, there's other ways.
Speaker 8 (19:43):
Say something, Kathy, I don't mean something here's what I
have to say. Sex is important at any age. But
here's what I'm saying. Somebody can be great in bed,
fabolus in bed. I've suck with great guys in bed.
Am I with them? No, that to me is not
the be all and end all, the respect, the kindness,
(20:03):
a good person that is going to far out live.
Speaker 3 (20:06):
Do you hear her questions? My question was how important
is chemistry?
Speaker 6 (20:11):
And I also think it's how important it used to be.
I'm not as sexual as I used to be. I'm
really not.
Speaker 3 (20:18):
I mean, I'm yeah, but I don't. It's not as important.
I mean back in the day it was.
Speaker 6 (20:23):
Yeah, And I hope for all of you that you
you look at me like I'm crazy.
Speaker 3 (20:27):
I know the same. I know, I just I don't
have the same It's very important to me. Yeah, it's
very important. It's very important. I mean it was, it was.
Speaker 8 (20:39):
But here's the thing is. Now, here's the thing, guys,
here's the thing. We're all group of women here and
one fabulous man. It acause your relationship is not sex dependent.
I think that's the important fact here that if you
(20:59):
and your husband have a great relationship, it doesn't matter
for you and your husband. That's not the most driving
force in your relationship, where some other people sex. If
you're not having great sex, you're out. I think it's
it depends on the relations and I used we.
Speaker 6 (21:15):
Still enjoy it, but it's not like we're not depending
it's not keeping.
Speaker 8 (21:20):
You're not depending on it for the success of your relationship.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
Hey, it is always fun. We need to do this
more often. Catch off with.
Speaker 4 (21:27):
All of you wonderful ladies, and we're excited to have
some fun at jingle Ball to do what we're about
to go do. So, by the way, everyone who's listening,
if you need some advice on when it comes to
your chapter two you're Part two, you can.
Speaker 3 (21:41):
Call us or email us.
Speaker 4 (21:42):
All the info is in the show notes, so follow
us on socials and make sure to rate and review
the podcast. I Do Part two an iHeartRadio podcast where
falling in love is the main objective.
Speaker 7 (22:00):
The three
Hey there, everybody, and welcome to I Do Part two,
the podcast if you got love right the first time around,
this is not the podcast for you. I am one
of your hosts, TJ. Holmes, alongside my dear lovely Amy Robach.
And this will be the last time you hear my
voice in this podcast because I'm sitting here with.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Two very excuse me, one, two, three, four, five very
strong willed women. So signing off TJ.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
Holmes. Oh that's so funny.
Speaker 4 (00:45):
Yes, No, we have our favorite people, Yes, our I
Do Part two family right now. So we have Kelly, Jen,
Susan and Kathy and y'all. We're all here together in
Los Angeles and it's like a reunion here. We're having
a blast, but we have some very deep questions. Are
you guys in a mood or in a.
Speaker 5 (01:05):
Yeah to get deep with the deeper the battle, ya,
Can you set the scene for everybody now, you all,
we are sitting in a small hotel room in Brentwood, California.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
We are sitting around.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
There is an empty vodka Red Bull that Kathy's no drinking.
That was a mimosa or in Susan's head.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Exactly.
Speaker 6 (01:32):
Amy Robo sitting on t J Holmes lap, big, big,
huge engagement ringggy so gorgeous.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
It is yellow yellow sapphire. I mean, can I just.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Say it's you? I have a sapphire ring on that
is chips. Let me just say, but I.
Speaker 7 (01:53):
Don't feel bad gorgeous, I said, party, it's mimosa yellow.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
All right. So look, we have actually talked about this
a lot.
Speaker 4 (02:09):
We were best friends for years and years and years
before anything became romantic. Should you value being best friends
or should you value chemistry in a relationship?
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Well, it's best friends.
Speaker 8 (02:20):
Susan and I are about to get in.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
You're like, that's what I think. You're both really important.
I think you can.
Speaker 8 (02:32):
I think you don't have to be best friends first,
but I think it's great if you are. And I
think if you can develop into best friends, even better.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
But I think chemistry, chemistry can make chemistry. You cannot
deny it.
Speaker 9 (02:45):
I mean, I think when you're younger, it's really important
to be best friends because you're going to be cultivating
this life. But like, I'm fifty seven years old. I
want chemistry. I want fire, I want passion, I want fun.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
I use me, excuse me. Yeah, I'm just saying, I'm
just giving you don't.
Speaker 6 (03:05):
I will tell you, guys, I did not have chemistry
with my husband at all. There was no passion for me.
I think for him there was. I'm just being honest.
Like we're married now twenty six years. He was so
persistent and I you know.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
I always said, like, the only thing I care about,
I don't care.
Speaker 6 (03:19):
I don't give it. She doesn't have to be gorgeous,
he doesn't have to be rich, she doesn't have to
be I just want him tall because I always feel
like a big girl.
Speaker 8 (03:27):
I'm sorry, wait a minute, give up money and passion
for height.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
Well I did.
Speaker 5 (03:34):
If you well, if you think that, I'm sorry, I'm
going to tell you, I'm going to tell you.
Speaker 6 (03:38):
So so right, So what I actually I actually didn't
care about hype.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
My husband is five six. I did well. I thought
I wanted tall too.
Speaker 6 (03:49):
But I'm saying I was from the first second I
saw him, I was like, not so much.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
And we became best friends and and I mean he
didn't feel like I did.
Speaker 8 (03:58):
I used.
Speaker 6 (03:58):
I said to him once, there's just no spark here.
There's just nothing. No, I wasn't married because I think
he grew I mean, I honestly, I loved him so
much and at one point he was like, I can't
do this anymore, and I'm like, whoa wait a second,
I love you.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
Where are you going?
Speaker 7 (04:20):
So sweet?
Speaker 3 (04:22):
Necessarily princes he does, but it's not I just love him.
Speaker 6 (04:29):
I just respected my love. I mean we're on our
part too as well. We were separated for like a
year and a half. But yeah, I just it didn't
start for me with chemistry.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
Yeah, but is it necessary to chemistry friendship?
Speaker 3 (04:42):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
She's wrapped around.
Speaker 6 (04:46):
You know what.
Speaker 4 (04:47):
I think we didn't recognize it or acknowledge it because
we were not in a position to even consider the
other as a romantic partner. But there was always a spark,
and I will say there were always rumors that something
was going on the us when they were like absolutely not,
we're just friends. I will say he was the person
wherever like groups would gather a journalist, I would seek
(05:09):
him out and we'd see each other across the room
and would where are you? And we would always end
up together hanging out, laughing, having a blast.
Speaker 8 (05:17):
So for me, when you ask if if there's chemistry,
I met my husband when I was eighteen years old,
my now deceased husband and I looked across the room.
We locked eyes, and I looked at my sweet mate
standing next to me and I said, you see that
guy over there.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
She said yeah.
Speaker 8 (05:33):
I said, I'm going to marry him, and I did
eighteen months later. There was just we locked eyes and
I just felt it. I know that sounds crazy, but
we were married almost forty six years.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
There was just something about it.
Speaker 8 (05:45):
But we weren't best friends, and I'll be honest, we
were never best friends.
Speaker 6 (05:48):
Oh wow, would you tell your kids that it was
so important in the chemistry now that you've lived and learned,
would you say you have to have it off the.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Bat for me my kids.
Speaker 8 (06:10):
So, my son got divorced after a three year marriage
and now he's married to the woman of his dreams,
and I think when he met her, the chemistry is immediate.
My daughter, when she met her husband, she was like,
I'm not interested in all in this guy, and by
the end of the afternoon they were locked in.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
So I don't know. I think for everyone it's different.
Speaker 8 (06:31):
I think ideally I would love to have my best
friend have it grow from best friend to I think
that would be my dream. But at this point, I'll
take a guy who's above ground, just about ground.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
That's the baseline.
Speaker 9 (06:45):
So I, you know, my only husband. I was very
young when I met him. I was nineteen, and it
was like he was like a Neanderthal. He like pulled
me by my hair and he was like, she's going
to be mine. And I happened to look like his
second wife. So we had that in comments. But he
was very much like that. It was kind of like
the persistent I mean, you know, I mean, did I
ever think I would marry like a shorter, curly haired
(07:08):
frenchman like I'm from Rockford, Illinois.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Like no, I was thinking athlete.
Speaker 9 (07:13):
I was thinking like, you know some maybe one from
treat Trick something like that.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
You know, it goes kind of by.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
The drummer Robin Xander, Hello, I'm Lexander.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Bunny, Carlos, you know any of those guys. So there's
a laundry list.
Speaker 9 (07:27):
But yeah, I was not thinking that like a French
guy that was with curly hair, who was like literally
like you mine.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Now, I was like that French.
Speaker 8 (07:36):
For me.
Speaker 10 (07:37):
Now it's different than I don't care if a man
is overweight or not tall enough. I do prefer tall man.
But it's different now because I'm not looking to build
a family. I'm not looking for my first house in
the white picket fence. I'm looking for my friend, the
guy that I'm going to get old with. And that
(07:59):
still makes me laugh. Yeah, and sex is.
Speaker 8 (08:02):
Important, okay, But Susan, if there's I'm going to take issue.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
I think at our ready we're going to take issue. There.
Speaker 8 (08:10):
Wait, Susan, No matter what, you still have to build
a life for the guy, you know.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
And so whether it's long distance, I.
Speaker 8 (08:21):
Got sorry, I got thirty years left in name, I'm like, oh,
I just think it's I think that we overplace sometimes
the idea that you know, our children are both of
our children are grown and they're gone and they have
their own families. But still, when you're looking for that partner,
you want someone where you have the same values, where yes,
(08:42):
you want to that's the.
Speaker 6 (08:44):
Not even I don't know about the same exact values.
But I really like my husband. I forget about the
fact that I love him like I really like him.
Speaker 4 (08:52):
I think you just nailed it for me like that
has been like like and respect for two things that
I wasn't really considering when I was younger, and I
realized that is what ended.
Speaker 3 (09:01):
Up biting me in the ass, because if.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
You don't like the person you're with, and if you
don't respect how they operate in the world, you are
doomed and you can try whatever and it doesn't work.
And so this has been amazing to actually have a
friend who you like, who you respect, and obviously have
a spark.
Speaker 3 (09:20):
Yes, but the purpose.
Speaker 9 (09:25):
I feel like you said about liking respect, and I
think what happens with a lot of people in relationships
is they have these expectations of what this person could
be is going to be just.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
You can make them become.
Speaker 9 (09:37):
I know they can be this. I know they're going
to be like that. I'm not who people think I am.
I am exactly who I am. I don't make any
I'm not gonna sit here and apologize for who I
am or what I do, or how I make money
or the businesses that I do, or how I raise
my kids. Like I've done the best that I can.
This is who I am. So you cannot change me.
(09:57):
You can embrace me, you can move me in a
direction that can help me, but you can't.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
We just talked about show me who you are. Don't
tell me who you are.
Speaker 8 (10:08):
You will show me who you are by our interactions.
You can tell me you're a man of integrity, you're
a you're a great parent, You're this, You're that. I'm
going to watch You're going to show me who you are,
and that's how I'm going.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
To judge you.
Speaker 10 (10:21):
So hearing all of us, what are the hopes for us?
Speaker 3 (10:25):
Wait, you guys, can I just say something?
Speaker 6 (10:26):
I just thought that was so interesting what you guys
just said, because my part one, because we did separate
for a year and a half and ended up getting
back together, but I think during part one I wanted
him to change and I wanted him so. My husband
is an introvert. It's kind of cerebral. And we would
go out with other couples and I would and I
(10:47):
just wouldn't. He just wouldn't engage, and it would make
me furious. And now after all of these years, I
couldn't give twos.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
It just gives me more room to talk like that's
how you shine. Or even if he doesn't, even if
he doesn't like, I just don't care. I like him
so much, you know.
Speaker 9 (11:05):
So the interesting thing is that like For me, the
role is reversed because I'm I am just like watching.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
I mean, I have a twin brother. I was raised
with a male all my life, so I understand how how.
Speaker 9 (11:16):
They move, they walk, they talk, everything, and I embrace
all of that, so I don't have this like.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
What's the guy going to do?
Speaker 9 (11:22):
How is he going to react? Because I have a
twin brother. Yeah, I have the opposite problem. Guys are
always like, well are you like this?
Speaker 2 (11:30):
So you're going to be like that?
Speaker 9 (11:31):
And I'm the one that they're putting all the expectations on.
I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Like all I want to
do is just be in a healthy, happy, loving environment
where I can shine and do well, that's all.
Speaker 7 (11:44):
You know.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Where are you? Where are you in your dating because
the last time we talked to you someone, there was
something going on. I don't want to there was. Is
that something still going on? It is?
Speaker 4 (11:59):
Look at it in the same city as you.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
He's like, yeah, guy, all right, he's the guy. Guy Okay, is.
Speaker 9 (12:14):
So great and he has his own life, beautiful kids,
great ex wife. Like everyone, he's in a little a
little bit, a bit further away.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Yeah, yeah, A couple of states. But he's not that far.
It's like a couple of hours away. And you know,
we see each other a lot, and he's a really.
Speaker 9 (12:33):
He's very protective of me without being to push me.
Like he's not like Kelly, be better, He's just like,
how are you? You're great today? Everything's going to be
great for you?
Speaker 3 (12:44):
Like I've never had that. I've had like part two
baby that comes with part two.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
I just realized one here who does not have a
part too?
Speaker 7 (12:54):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (12:54):
What do you mean?
Speaker 2 (12:55):
I said?
Speaker 3 (12:55):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (12:57):
Do you think that that a relationship and even a
marriage can survive if you just love each other enough?
Does it need more than love? Because people, that's always
a big question, is just loving someone enough? Do you
answer the tough times?
Speaker 8 (13:11):
You answered it? You need respect. I think that you
have to respect. The person has to have integrity. Love
is not enough.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
It love goes away.
Speaker 4 (13:20):
It's a feeling that can come and go. And if
you don't I don't think if you don't have the
foundation of like and respect.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
You stop looking at me. Why why is there a
look going on between the two of you?
Speaker 9 (13:34):
So Amy, So I I was honest and I have
never been in love before.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
Again I had.
Speaker 9 (13:44):
I've loved people, but I've never been in love. I've
never been like, oh my god, like I'm actually like
in love with someone.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
Well, how do you know that? And what is the measure?
Is it different for I don't know.
Speaker 9 (13:57):
What the actual what it is. I don't know what
the box is to check off. It's just like, Okay,
now you're in love. Like I don't know what button
to push. I don't know what that is. I just
know the feeling of like how I can care for someone,
nurture them, you know, be there for them.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
But I'm I don't.
Speaker 9 (14:14):
I've never had that feeling that is like I that
person gives me butterfly or.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
Probably every time.
Speaker 10 (14:30):
But I've questioned that myself.
Speaker 3 (14:32):
Have I really ever?
Speaker 2 (14:33):
I'm a nurturing person.
Speaker 9 (14:34):
I'm a very I'm so much I'm Kelly, but I'm
a very nurturing person. So I think people misconstrue my
nurturing for love. But it's not like I may be
loving towards you, but I'm not in love with you.
Speaker 6 (15:00):
I tell my daughter all the time, and I'm sure
you guys know. People say this like the Spark, except
for Amy and TJ. The spark fades, right, and I
always say you gotta also use your head, and I
maybe yeah, but also maybe kel like you're not calling
it in love, but I'm sure you've had that feeling
(15:20):
or your heart races. You can't be waiting for them
to call or you're together, and no.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
Not really.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
So I've never heard for I was like, they're great,
They're so nice.
Speaker 9 (15:30):
But I've also you know, I've been doing so many
jobs and providing for so long. But I feel like,
in some ways, I'm like that businessman that's like, all
of a sudden, he's like made the money and has
all I know.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
He's like, Okay, now I want my life.
Speaker 9 (15:43):
Like I've like, I've just been working like an animal
for so long, so I've never been in the time.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
I've never like looked reflected back.
Speaker 9 (15:50):
And been like that person gave me those feelings because
I wasn't even available for them.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
I was totally emotionally under It's.
Speaker 4 (15:58):
So interesting you say that because I would say, until now, yes,
I have been married to my job. My job and
my career was my passion, and so it allowed me
to be in relationships and stay in them because my
passions and my love was being met at work.
Speaker 3 (16:16):
Is that if that makes any sense.
Speaker 4 (16:18):
And this is the first time I feel like a teenager,
and it's like, this is what people have felt like,
Oh my god, when it happened, you recognize that it's
never happened before. And so that has been an interesting
experience for me, just to go through emotions that sometimes
I think a lot of people luckily have in their
teens or their early twenties.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
Now I know this is all new.
Speaker 6 (16:40):
Remember my daughter saying to me she would meet someone
and just she would go, Mom, I met my husband tonight. Now,
for some of us, obviously that worked out for Rachel
in that case, you've met about seventeen husbands.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
But let me just say I have said, yeah, I'm
also now I may only single one here, the only
widow here.
Speaker 8 (17:01):
And I will say that the biggest lesson I have learned,
and I'm admitting this right here publicly, I tried to
change my husband.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
My husband was also an introvert.
Speaker 8 (17:10):
He was also very subrebral, and I want it because
I have never met a stranger.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
It was hard when we would go to comsole parties.
I had to carry all the load.
Speaker 8 (17:21):
But now if he were back now I realized what
a gift it was.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
What a gift it was.
Speaker 10 (17:27):
So even said to me recently that that's something that
you would change if you find love.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
And that's exactly so I have learned.
Speaker 8 (17:36):
I learned it the hardest way possible, that if I
get my second chance at love, that's.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Going to get such improved me the best When when when? When?
Speaker 8 (17:50):
So you know, you learn things, and you learn it
by divorce, you learn it by any kind of loss.
When they say every relationship you learn a lesson, you.
Speaker 10 (17:59):
Do sometimes some people don't learn though.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
I keep repeating the same things.
Speaker 10 (18:06):
I mean, I fall fast and hard and it's fun
and it's exciting, and six to nine months later you
start looking at the real picture.
Speaker 6 (18:15):
Going I do. But you, guys, even if this is
not you're not in a relationship right now, like it's
still your part two. Like I don't feel like you
had a part one. Like you're living your part two,
whether or not you.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
Are in love. Look at the experience, however, you both
like me, I.
Speaker 6 (18:30):
Feel like you got to reinvent yourself at an age
in your life, like not a lot of people do.
Speaker 3 (18:34):
And you're hosting these podcasts and you're.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Still and grateful for that, truly grateful for that. Yeah.
Speaker 9 (18:40):
Also too, to your point, like and when you're like
when you are a single mother and you're providing, it's
like you're not in your feelings. Even though I was
on Housewives and everyone was asking about talking to me
about their feelings, I'm like, what are you talking about?
Speaker 3 (18:52):
I know.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
I'm like, I'm sorry, I have time.
Speaker 3 (18:56):
For feelings, like you're feelings.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
You're feelings. Oh, I have a hope. I'm like, you're speaking.
I have a carpool in ten minutes, I know. I
was like, I'm gonna miss the basketball. Yeah, like what
you're talking about?
Speaker 3 (19:09):
I want to ask you all because we're gonna wrap
this up.
Speaker 4 (19:11):
But I think this is something that a lot of
people try to decide the level of importance. How important
is chemistry in the bedroom? How important is that in
a relationship?
Speaker 10 (19:22):
So important sometimes and people at our age can't perform,
So you find the other way. No, trust me, some
men and you find other ways as long as they're
open to what.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Is so hang with that.
Speaker 3 (19:37):
It is twoenty twenty five.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
Kathy, Yeah, Kathy, there's other ways.
Speaker 8 (19:43):
Say something, Kathy, I don't mean something here's what I
have to say. Sex is important at any age. But
here's what I'm saying. Somebody can be great in bed,
fabolus in bed. I've suck with great guys in bed.
Am I with them? No, that to me is not
the be all and end all, the respect, the kindness,
(20:03):
a good person that is going to far out live.
Speaker 3 (20:06):
Do you hear her questions? My question was how important
is chemistry?
Speaker 6 (20:11):
And I also think it's how important it used to be.
I'm not as sexual as I used to be. I'm
really not.
Speaker 3 (20:18):
I mean, I'm yeah, but I don't. It's not as important.
I mean back in the day it was.
Speaker 6 (20:23):
Yeah, And I hope for all of you that you
you look at me like I'm crazy.
Speaker 3 (20:27):
I know the same. I know, I just I don't
have the same It's very important to me. Yeah, it's
very important. It's very important. I mean it was, it was.
Speaker 8 (20:39):
But here's the thing is. Now, here's the thing, guys,
here's the thing. We're all group of women here and
one fabulous man. It acause your relationship is not sex dependent.
I think that's the important fact here that if you
(20:59):
and your husband have a great relationship, it doesn't matter
for you and your husband. That's not the most driving
force in your relationship, where some other people sex. If
you're not having great sex, you're out. I think it's
it depends on the relations and I used we.
Speaker 6 (21:15):
Still enjoy it, but it's not like we're not depending
it's not keeping.
Speaker 8 (21:20):
You're not depending on it for the success of your relationship.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
Hey, it is always fun. We need to do this
more often. Catch off with.
Speaker 4 (21:27):
All of you wonderful ladies, and we're excited to have
some fun at jingle Ball to do what we're about
to go do. So, by the way, everyone who's listening,
if you need some advice on when it comes to
your chapter two you're Part two, you can.
Speaker 3 (21:41):
Call us or email us.
Speaker 4 (21:42):
All the info is in the show notes, so follow
us on socials and make sure to rate and review
the podcast. I Do Part two an iHeartRadio podcast where
falling in love is the main objective.
Speaker 7 (22:00):
The three
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